bigsuki

[bigsuki]

SEASONS | han taesan.

PAIRING: rockstar!ex-husband!taesan x actress!fem!reader

SYNOPSIS: a year after your divorce with the musical prodigy, han taesan, the emotions you both kept bottled up and hidden from each other finally come to light. will you be able to work through them, or will they just blow up in your face like they did the first time?

WORD COUNT: 12.6k

GENRE/CONTENTS: angst (just pure, heavy angst), exes to…. 🤫, celebrity au, miscommunication, taesan the #1 yearner, time skips (following the seasons), takes place in the future (reader and taesan are in their thirties #unc), written in screenplay format.

FEATURING: han taesan as the rockstar, you as the actress, myung jaehyun as the reporter, and kim leehan as the therapist.

AUTHOR’S NOTE: hi 😸 here’s the first taesan fic i’d ever written like six months after getting into bnd (can you tell who my bias is) AHAHAHS i wrote this earlier this year after rewatching la la land for the millionth time and this is very self-indulgent, but i hope you guys enjoy nonetheless! reblogs, likes and comments are always appreciated 🫶🏼.

RECOMMENDED PLAYLIST.

ACT I: WHO I AM.

SUMMER 2036, 2:19 PM.

NAGOYA, JAPAN.

Myung Jaehyun cleared his throat, flipping through his notebook in silence. He’s sitting in your living room, waiting for you to come back with the cup of tea you had offered him upon entering your house. Jaehyun's eyes shift from the pages of his notebook to his surroundings, taking in the decorative details of your living area.

A small apartment despite your fortune, located in the heart of Nagoya. Aside from the picture frames placed atop counters and shelves, there were barely any paintings hanging from the pristine white walls of your apartment. Jaehyun let out a quiet breath as he looked around, doing a double take when his eyes happened to land on a photo sitting at the lowest layer of the shelf across from where he sat. A man with black hair and a mask, his eyes crescent moons, an arm around the person beside him, resembling you. You seemed younger then, livelier, fuller – a complete opposite from the melancholic aura you now carried with you. Jaehyun's heart clenched the longer his eyes remained on the photograph, soon realizing who it was that had his arm around you in that photo.

You enter the room with two cups of tea, placing one in front of Jaehyun, sitting down on the couch across from him with a sigh, an apologetic smile resting on your face.

Y/N: Sorry for making you wait.

JAEHYUN: Not at all. Thank you for the tea.

Y/N: Of course. It was my pleasure.

Jaehyun takes a sip of the tea. Earl grey, your favorite according to other interviews you’d done over the years. He clears his throat, setting the cup down on the coffee table before them, his eyes meeting yours.

JAEHYUN: Nice place you have here, by the way. I thought most actors preferred mansions to single bedroom apartments.

You chuckle, crossing your legs.

Y/N: I wouldn't know what to do with all the space. I'm much more of a minimalist, if you couldn't tell.

JAEHYUN: I see. Thanks for agreeing to do this, Ms. L/N. I know this couldn't have been an easy decision.

Your lips form a thin line, your eyes avoiding his as you look down, remembering the reason as to why Jaehyun was even in your apartment to begin with.

Y/N: Well, what better way to heal a broken heart than to talk about it, right?

JAEHYUN: Either way, you have my respect. Shall we get started?

Y/N: Sure. Whenever you're ready.

Jaehyun opens his notebook once again, flipping to the page where he'd prepared his questions for you. He took a recording device out of his bag, turning it on and placing it at the center of the coffee table. He then cleared his throat again, clicking his pen rhythmically.

JAEHYUN: To my understanding, you and Mr. Han were married for five years?

Y/N: Yes. We were together for eight years, dated for three.

JAEHYUN: Divorce couldn't have been easy. Having to go your separate ways with a person you spent so much time with. Do you think it was the best solution?

Y/N: It wasn't easy to come to terms with. When it was brought up, I felt like all the time we'd spent together was just being thrown away, like none of it ever mattered. I haven't seen him in a year now, and my life has become much more quiet and calmer than it was before, but I've learned to come to terms with the fact that we needed the space. We needed to get away from each other, even if the mere thought of it hurt us.

Jaehyun nods as he listens to your response, noticing the way you avoided looking directly at him whenever you spoke. A part of him believed it was because you were afraid your eyes would end up speaking on your behalf.

JAEHYUN: I understand. So you and Mr. Han haven't spoken since then, I presume?

Y/N: Only about business — you know, boring stuff. Nothing too interesting.

He smiled, nodding again in agreement.

JAEHYUN: From what I've seen in the media, Mr. Han is also a very reserved person, very invested in his music. Would you mind if I asked you what he was like with you, Ms. L/N?

You remain silent for a moment, your hands clasped together on your lap as you recall the memories of you and your ex-husband, Han Taesan — the musical prodigy, the rockstar, the man of your dreams. It was all so bittersweet, all those good memories from the past only leading up to the bad ones, the more recent memories you had of him. Jaehyun's brow raises slightly, somewhat worried.

JAEHYUN (CONT'D): You don't have to respond if you don't want to. I can ask another question.

Y/N, shaking your head: Not at all. I was just trying to remember.

JAEHYUN: It's really been that long, huh?

Y/N: Yes, it has.

You sigh, smiling softly as you lean back into the couch.

Y/N (CONT'D): We met in school. He was studying music theory and I was majoring in theater. From the start, Taesan was always so passionate about music, but he was also passionate about my love for acting. He always pushed me to do those early auditions, even if they ended up rejecting me. I believed it was a waste of time, but Taesan viewed it as an opportunity to grow, to take notes and get better and perfect my skills. He was always like that, always looking on the brighter side of things, even when things were hard for himself. It's what I admired the most about him, what made me decide that I wanted to be with him.

JAEHYUN: Mr. Han has always been a kind soul.

Y/N, agreeing: Always. Even when no one listened to his songs, even when I was casted before he got signed to his label. He's always been so supportive of my dreams, and I supported his own.

JAEHYUN: Sounds like you were both happy with each other.

Y/N: Very.

You shift in your seat, reaching forward to grab your cup of tea and taking a sip. You hum, letting out a breath as you set the cup back down. It's clear to Jaehyun that you weren't necessarily trying to avoid the question, but rather were just not sure how to answer it.

JAEHYUN (CONT'D): Sorry, I know my questions can be a bit straightforward.

Y/N, chuckling: It's not that. I simply just don't know.

JAEHYUN: Don't know what?

Y/N: Where we went wrong. One morning, I swore I'd never been happier, living in the house we had shared for six years, sleeping beside each other even if one of us came home late, just loving each other — simply, nothing too special. And then the next, all I felt was exhaustion. Like a grey cloud had formed above my head and a weight had just...

You sigh, seemingly frustrated as you try using your hands to better explain yourself.

JAEHYUN: Like a weight had been placed on your shoulders?

Y/N: Yes, except I never figured out what I was.

JAEHYUNDo you think he felt the same as you did?

Y/N: He did. I saw it in the way he looked at me, the way we sat in silence as we ate at the table together, the way he stopped asking questions about my projects. [You pause, remembering.] To be honest, it's not his fault. I stopped asking questions too, like we'd come to a silent agreement that we were both just so tired. But Taesan never spoke any of those feelings to me.

You pause, making eye contact with Jaehyun for the first time since the interview had begun.

Y/N (CONT'D): I think he was afraid I'd love him less if he said anything.

JAEHYUN: And you wouldn't have?

Y/N: Of course not. I loved him wholly, dearly. From the moment we'd met, he'd become a part of me. Even now, I feel as if I'd left a piece of myself with him in that house.

Jaehyun hums in understanding and looks down at his notebook, skimming the questions, wondering if it was really necessary to ask any of them.

JAEHYUN, still skimming his questions: You speak of Mr. Han so gently.

Y/N: I have nothing bad to say about him. He treated me like his world when we were together, and even now, he'll ask to meet with me just to catch up. I know he still cares.

JAEHYUN, with genuine curiosity: Do you ever agree?

Y/N: No.

You laugh quietly to yourself, your eyes glossing over.

Y/N (CONT'D): Just the mere mention of him is enough to bring me to tears. I don't know if I'd be able to contain myself if I saw him in person.

JAEHYUN, concerned: Shall I move on?

Y/N, sniffling: It's alright. Ask what you need to.

For the next hour, Myung Jaehyun listens to you talk about your ex-husband, unable to ignore the tears that formed in your eyes as you reminisced on all the memories you shared together. Sometimes he'd laugh with you, and other times he'd hold back his own tears as he watched you shed a few. Jaehyun has had his fair share of celebrity divorces. The pairs were always so angry at each other, so set on taking everything away from the other. But listening to you talk about Han Taesan, your emotions so raw and genuine — it felt like a breath of fresh air.

At times, part of him believed you were still in love with him.

Perhaps that was why it pained you so much to talk about your divorce.

JAEHYUN: Mr. Han held a show in Seoul earlier this month. He performed a cover of Songbird by Oasis.

Y/N: I heard.

JAEHYUN: That's your favorite song, right?

You nod, trying your best to contain the smile fighting its way onto your face at the mention of the song.

Y/N: When we first started dating, Taesan sang me that song — his attempt to "serenade" me despite already having me. I didn't know much about music at the time, but having him dedicate a song like that to me, it made me feel so special. I listened to it every chance I got after that, but I could only ever hear Taesan's voice on the track, like it'd become engraved in my head.

Jaehyun smiles, amused.

JAEHYUN: So he's a hopeless romantic?

Y/N, laughing: Of course he is. I think his songs are enough to prove that fact.

JAEHYUN: I assume you heard his latest album then?

Y/N: Not entirely. Just a couple songs. I'll hear them play on the radio sometimes.

JAEHYUN: I have to ask: how do you think the divorce affected your careers? Him with his songs, and you with your movies.

Y/N, inhaling deeply: Well, I've definitely taken up more melancholic, more depressing roles since then, mainly because I think I can portray those emotions more accurately as opposed to the roles I would take before. I think it's the same for Taesan.

JAEHYUN: How so?

Y/N: He told me his songwriting always came from his heart, that he always writes what he feels. When we were married, some of the songs he wrote could be compared to sappy love songs. And now that we're divorced, from the songs that I've heard recently, I think he's also missing a part of himself, the same way I am.

Myung Jaehyun has concluded in the past hour and a half that you and Han Taesan had some unresolved feelings you needed to talk about, feelings you didn't mention to each other out of the fear that it was too late for you. He knows that you yearn to see him again, that you would do anything to go back in time and try and fix your marriage. He knows from the way you fidget with your ring finger, looking for the wedding ring that you’d kept on for five years, only to hide in a drawer beside your bed later. Jaehyun has always been good at reading people — it came as part of being a reporter — and though there wasn't much that you seemed to be hiding from him, he knew that maybe talking to Taesan would heal you.

JAEHYUN: Forgive me for the sudden change in topic, but I'd like to ask a question about your career.

He clears his throat, tapping his pen against his notebook. Your eyes widen slightly in curiosity, waiting for him to ask his question.

JAEHYUN (CONT'D): Ms. L/N, you're thirty-one years old. You've been acting since you were seventeen, made your debut in film at twenty-three. You and Mr. Han have been divorced for a year now, and you've only taken two roles since then — both performances phenomenal, by the way. Many people have been saying you'll retire. Is that true?

Your lips form a thin line.

Y/N, thinking: To me, acting has always been more of a solace than a job. I enjoy it, really, but I never would've gotten where I am today if it weren't for Taesan.

You pause, tearing up again.

Y/N (CONT'D), with a shaky breath: He, um... he really helped me put myself out there. Everything I've done in the field, all the praise I've received — it's all because of him. It was all for him. And now that it's over between us, I find it hard to enjoy what I used to love so much. But I don't know if I could quit acting. Maybe I'd just take a break and focus on the simple things in life. Feeding cats on the street, taking walks in the park, sleeping in on the weekend — things like that.

JAEHYUN, slightly shocked: So you will retire?

Y/N, nodding: At some point, I'd like to act again. It's never been something I could stay away from for so long. But I think what I need right now is to learn how to live on my own and make the most of it.

Jaehyun nods understandingly, noticing the way you struggle to hold yourself together. At times, he hated his job — interviewing people at their most vulnerable, watching them break down as they're questioned over the most personal aspects of their life. In every other interview you had done, you’d never shown emotions like the ones you were showing now. It was proof enough to him that despite what the media said about your relationship, you and Han Taesan were in love.

Perhaps you still are.

JAEHYUN, clearing his throat: Well, that's all I have for you, Ms. L/N. It's been a great two hours.

Y/N, eyes widening: Really? Only two hours?

You laugh together as the reporter reaches for the recording device and stops the recording and saves it to listen to later. A silence falls upon them, and Jaehyun then clears his throat, standing up as he stuffs his tiny notebook in the smallest pocket of his bag.

JAEHYUN: I think it's best that I take my leave now.

Y/N, standing: Sure.

You follow Jaehyun as you make your way to the front door of your apartment. He puts his shoes on, looking back at you as you watch him with your arms crossed over your chest.

JAEHYUN, sighing: Y/N, would you like some advice?

Your eyes soften at the sudden drop in formality, the professionalism put behind him. Reporter Myung had disappeared, and the man that stood before you now was none other than Myung Jaehyun, a close friend — your best friend, perhaps.

Y/N: Sure, Jaehyun. What is it?

JAEHYUN: I think you should talk to him.

Y/N, looking down and chuckling incredulously: What good would that do?

JAEHYUN: You could tell him how you feel about everything. I think Taesan would appreciate it best if it came from you and not some stupid magazine interview.

You hum again, tearing up but holding yourself back from breaking down in front of Jaehyun.

Y/N: You really think he'd like that?

JAEHYUN: You know, he's my friend, too, and don't tell him I said this, but I think he misses you a lot more than you give him credit for.

He places his hand on your shoulder and squeezes it, a form of comfort, smiling softly.

JAEHYUN (CONT'D): Just think about it.

Y/N: I will. Thank you.

Jaehyun nods and turns around, but you grab his wrist before he can open the door. He looks back questioningly, only to be met with your desperate eyes.

Y/N (CONT'D): You'll visit again, right? Not just for work, but as a friend?

JAEHYUN, nodding with a smile: Of course I will.

The grip you have on his wrist loosens as you let him go.

JAEHYUN (CONT'D): Take care, Y/N.

You say your final goodbyes and he finally opens the door, stepping out of the apartment and closing the door behind him. You let out a sigh, now left alone in your apartment once again. You bite the inside of your cheek, Jaehyun's words playing over and over again in your head, your reality settling in. How empty the place you now call home feels, how lonely you’d been the past year, how you never stopped thinking about closing the gap between you and Taesan. You would apologize for shutting yourself in, for distancing yourself from the man who swore to be with you through thick and thin, to work it out despite a clash in egos. Maybe it was your fault you were now divorced, because you never gave him anything to work with, because you convinced yourself that he didn't care enough to want to fix things. It was all so overwhelming, so terribly upsetting that all you wanted to do was catch the next flight back to Seoul and just talk to him.

But you don't do that. Instead, you let out a shaky breath and turn away from the door, making your way down the hallway and to your cold bedroom. You walked toward the window you’d opened a couple hours prior and closed it, leaving the curtains open, giving yourself a view of the alleyway beside the apartment building, the sky too clouded and gloomy for a summer day. You drag your feet as you walk over to your bed, throwing yourself onto it, pulling a blanket over your body, wrapping your arms around your own frame. And then you close your eyes, hoping to fall asleep, hoping that when you wake up, the sadness that had taken over you would've disappeared, that you’d finally be okay with living on your own. But you don't fall asleep. Instead, you cry – because that's all you can do.

Because that's all you’ve ever known.

ACT II: WHO YOU ARE.

AUTUMN 2036, 4:52 PM.

BUSAN, SOUTH KOREA.

Han Taesan waits quietly in the lobby outside the therapist's office, waiting for the minutes to pass until the clock strikes 5 PM. His leg bounces impatiently as he stares up at the ceiling, his finger tapping rapidly on the arm of the lounge chair. His eyes close, his ears filled with the sound of the therapist's receptionist clacking away at the keys of her keyboard, the sound of cars passing by outside the building very faint. He lets out a breath, cracking his knuckles anxiously.

Dr. Kim clears his throat and Taesan sits up quickly, looking as if he'd just woken up from a dream. His eyes meet Dr. Kim's, whose hands are in the pockets of his coat, holding back his laughter.

DR. KIM: You can come in, Mr. Han. I don't know what you're doing waiting out here.

Taesan looks around, his eyes landing on the receptionist, who pays him no mind. He then looks back at Dr. Kim.

TAESAN, quietly: She told me to...

Dr. Kim waves him off and Taesan stands up, acknowledging the receptionist before walking into his office, the doctor follows suit. The door closes, and Dr. Kim lets out a chuckle.

DR. KIM: She's new. She doesn't know who you are.

TAESAN: Ah.

He motions for Taesan to have a seat as he makes his way to his desk, sitting down in his own chair. Dr. Kim puts on a pair of glasses and picks up a clipboard and a pen, clicking the pen rapidly as he skims the contents of the file before him — a patient he'd met with earlier that day. He then pauses, eyeing Taesan up and down.

DR. KIM: What are you doing here, Taesan?

Taesan doesn't respond immediately, but Dr. Kim can tell he's nervous by the way he fiddles with his fingers, with the way he hesitates to take a seat. He sighs, finally sitting down, leaning forward.

TAESAN: Dr. Ki—

DR. KIM, looking at the file: Don't.

TAESAN: Fine. Leehan.

Leehan glances up at him through his glasses, meeting Taesan's eyes for a second before returning back to the file he was reviewing. He hums in acknowledgment, waiting for Taesan to continue. And after much hesitation and contemplation, he does.

TAESAN: Do you think Y/N still loves me?

LEEHAN, unfazed: Really? Is that why you're here?

TAESAN: I figured you'd know since you're good at reading people.

Leehan puts the clipboard down with a sigh, taking off his glasses and making eye contact with Taesan. He stares at him for a minute, trying to figure out if he was joking or not.

LEEHAN: Is this about that magazine interview she did?

TAESAN, quietly: Possibly.

LEEHAN, shaking his head and rolling his eyes: I'm not gonna answer that.

Taesan scoots forward.

TAESAN, whining: But why not?

LEEHAN: Because that's a stupid question. What would I know about your ex-wife?

TAESAN: But you know everything about everybody.

LEEHAN, raising a brow: Fine. You want to know what I think?

Taesan's eyes widened in curiosity, waiting for Leehan to speak. The doctors leaned forward.

LEEHAN (CONT'D), whispering: You're wasting my time.

The rockstar leans back in his chair, scoffing as he gives Leehan a look.

TAESAN, annoyed: I thought you were being serious.

LEEHAN: I am serious. Go away, Taesan.

TAESAN: I can't believe you'd kick out a friend who traveled all this way to see you.

LEEHAN: If all you did was come here to ask me about how Ms. L/N feels, then I'd rather you go home because I don't have the answer you’re looking for.

Leehan looks away from him, returning his attention to the neglected file on his desk as he writes down some notes. Taesan frowns, refusing to get up from the chair, waiting for Leehan to say something else. But the doctor doesn't say anything, continuing to ignore him. So Taesan sighs, deciding maybe he should be more honest with him.

TAESAN: Leehan.

LEEHAN: Hm?

TAESAN, quietly: I miss her.

Leehan looks up again, his previous annoyance disappearing the moment he realizes the kind of expression his friend has on his face. He notices the way Taesan bites the inside of his cheek, holding himself back from saying more — or perhaps to stop himself from crying.

LEEHAN, softly: You should tell her that.

TAESAN, shaking his head as he turns his head, looking away: I don't think that's what she wants to hear from me. [He pauses, his eyes washing over with sadness.] I don’t think she wants to hear from me at all, actually.

LEEHAN, putting the file down for the final time: You read her interview, Taesan. The signs could not have been any clearer.

TAESAN: But it'll just ruin everything. Again.

LEEHAN: You're already divorced. What more could there be to ruin?

TAESAN: Everything. The last year I've spent trying to move on with my life — it all just came crumbling down the moment I read that interview from Jaehyun’s stupid magazine.

The doctor stares at the rockstar for a moment, letting his words settle into the atmosphere. He swallows, contemplating if he should even continue the conversation or if he should try to convince Taesan that despite the written document keeping you apart, you never should've left each other.

He sighs and closes his eyes for a moment, then opens them.

LEEHAN: Do you think the divorce was for the best then?

TAESAN, shaking his head quickly: No. I never did.

LEEHAN, leaning back: Then why did you go through with it?

Taesan thinks about it for a moment. Why did he go through with it, especially when it was so obvious to him that he wanted everything but that?

TAESAN, unsure: Because I thought that's what she wanted.

LEEHAN: And now you think otherwise?

TAESAN: I don't know, I just— [Pause.] I just think maybe she misses me a little, you know? Maybe that's what brought her to say all that, that she did all that for me.

LEEHAN: Did it ever occur to you that perhaps she went through with the divorce because she believed that's what you wanted?

TAESAN: But I never wanted it.

LEEHAN: And did you tell her that?

TAESAN, realization settling in: I didn't.

LEEHAN, rather harshly: Right. You didn't. You didn't even try to reason with her. Do you really think you have the right to miss her, Taesan? Don't you think that's a little selfish? Especially now?

TAESAN, frustrated: I know it is, but I can't help it if I do. [Pause.] I can't just let go of something I had for so long and try to move on. You’re asking me to continue on with my life as if nothing ever happened, to start over like what we had wasn't real.

LEEHAN: Maybe you should just leave her be.

TAESAN: Even if I wanted to, I can't. Everything just leads me back to her, Leehan.

LEEHAN: Fine. Then at least think it through. If you did see her again, what would you say?

TAESAN: I'd tell her I'm sorry.

LEEHAN: And?

TAESAN, peeling his cuticles: And that I loved her.

He pauses as he ponders if he should say what he was thinking, if he had any right to say it after it all. Taesan hesitates, the words caught like a lump in his throat, not because he didn't want to say them, but because saying them aloud would confirm it all.

TAESAN (CONT'D): I still love her.

LEEHAN: Do you think that would change anything?

TAESAN: I think it'd mean something, saying what I couldn't bring myself to before.

LEEHAN: Right, but would it change anything?

Taesan knows the answer, but he doesn't want to admit it. He doesn't want to admit that the chances of you wanting to cancel their divorce were slim, that maybe you said all of that so that the media would stop perceiving him as a bad person. Perhaps you were still looking out for him in your own way, he thinks. He sighs, shaking his head lightly.

TAESAN: No. At least I don't think it will.

LEEHAN: You won't know that until you tell her.

TAESAN, sighing: How am I supposed to do that when she ignores my messages and won't pick up my calls?

LEEHAN: Maybe because she’s actually trying to move on.

TAESAN: I don't want that.

LEEHAN, sighing frustratedly: Then what do you want, Taesan? You want to talk to her, but won't because you're afraid it's not what she wants. You asked for a divorce because that's what you thought she wanted, even though she never explicitly told you she did. When have you ever done something that you wanted to do, something that wasn't for her?

Taesan looks down, avoiding eye contact, suddenly overwhelmed by Leehan's sudden frustration, as well as his own. He grips the fabric of his pants, his knuckles turning white.

TAESAN: You know, for a therapist, you're pretty mean, Leehan.

LEEHAN: This isn't a session, Taesan. I'm telling you this as your friend.

TAESAN: It doesn't matter. I know you're right.

LEEHAN, incredulously: Do you?

TAESAN: I do.

Leehan stares at him for a moment, then sighs, somewhat guilty about how passive aggressive he'd been.

LEEHAN: Do you wanna know what I think?

TAESAN: Are you gonna kick me out again?

LEEHAN, chuckling: No.

TAESAN: Go for it then.

LEEHAN: I think you should meet with her. Whether you have to fly to Nagoya or get her to come here. Get all of this off your chest and tell her, not me.

TAESAN, quietly: A lot of people have been telling me that.

LEEHAN: Then maybe you should listen to them.

TAESAN: Maybe. [Then] You know, when I told Y/N I loved them for the first time, she cried.

LEEHAN: Did she?

TAESAN: Yeah. I didn't know why. To this day, I still don't know why. But all I felt in that moment was that I didn't want to see her cry anymore. That's why I married her — so I wouldn't have to see her cry. That's what I promised her.

LEEHAN: Seems you didn't do a good job keeping that promise.

TAESAN: And you know the worst part about it? It seemed all she ever did was cry around me. Even when I wasn't there — I could tell she wanted to or already had.

He pauses again, tearing up.

TAESAN (CONT'D): I just wanted to spend the rest of my life by her side, Leehan. I don't know how we ended up here, what I could've done to change anything. [His voice cracks, crying.] I don't know what I did wrong.

Leehan feels his heartstrings tug, watching his best friend sit in the chair across from him and sob. He knew he'd been hurting, that their divorce was something he'd always regret, but he wasn't aware of how much pain he was truly in. He wasn't aware of the fact that he really did — no, does — love you despite it all. Perhaps that's why he puts so much effort into reaching out, why it drove him crazy whenever you didn't respond.

Kim Leehan is a great therapist, and a terrible friend.

The doctor stands up and walks around his desk to Taesan, putting a hand on his shaking shoulders in an attempt to comfort him.

LEEHAN: You didn't do anything wrong, Taesan. Things happen. Life happens.

TAESAN: But why did it happen to us?

LEEHAN, sighing: The reason why doesn't matter. Sometimes, things don't go our way, even if we wanted them to. We just have to accept it and learn to live with it.

Taesan sniffles and looks up at Leehan, he's looking down at him. He knows he pities him, no matter how much the doctor denies it — and a part of him can't help but hate him for it. Still, Taesan knows he's right. He knows that knowing why you and him had to part wouldn't change anything.

But accepting it? Coming to terms with it? Letting you go when all he wants is to hold onto you like his life depends on it?

That he cannot do. He refuses to.

TAESAN: You're good at what you do, you know that?

LEEHAN: It's why I do it.

TAESAN: It's bullshit.

LEEHAN, nodding in agreement: I know.

TAESAN: And you still do it.

LEEHAN: People find it easier to breathe when others tell them what they want to hear, but it's much easier to live when you're told what you need to hear, Taesan.

Leehan walks back to his chair and sits down. Taesan's eyes remain on the doctor, watching him scoot forward and look him in the eye.

LEEHAN (CONT'D): Maybe if you spoke to Y/N, she could tell you what you want to hear. Right now, I can only tell you what you need.

TAESAN, looking up: What do I need, then?

LEEHAN: An appointment.

Taesan chuckles at Leehan's joke, his shoulders relaxing. Leehan's eyes soften at the sight of his friend's smile, the first one he'd given him in a while. They fall silent, the once tense atmosphere diminishing.

TAESAN: I'll talk to her.

LEEHAN: Good. You need it.

TAESAN: Do you think she’ll want to?

LEEHAN: It's not really about what she wants either, but what she needs — and I think a part of her knows she needs it too.

Taesan nods. Leehan reaches for a box of tissues sitting behind him and offers them to Taesan. He hums, taking three from the box. He wipes his face and blows his nose, then throws them in the trash can beside his desk. Leehan leans forward.

LEEHAN, curiously: Can I ask you something?

TAESAN: Sure.

LEEHAN: Why'd you sing that song? The one at your show four months ago.

TAESAN, eyes widening and face turning red in sudden embarrassment: You were watching?

LEEHAN: Of course I was. I was there. But why'd you sing it?

Taesan stares at him, wondering the same thing.

TAESAN: It wasn't something I planned.

LEEHAN: That's not what I asked, Taesan.

TAESAN: I know, I just— [Pause.] I don't know why I did either. I just felt like I had to, you know? Like maybe it would give me a sense of closure, some peace of mind.

Leehan leans back and makes an 'O' with his lips, nodding to himself.

LEEHAN, joking: I assume it wasn't enough closure then.

TAESAN, sarcastic: You're funny. You should've been a comedian rather than a therapist.

LEEHAN, smiling: I should've.

The office goes silent once again, and Taesan finally decides that perhaps it was time he went home. He stands, and Leehan stands with him, watching as the star pushes in his chair and sighs.

LEEHAN (CONT'D): You're leaving?

TAESAN: It's about time.

LEEHAN: Let me walk with you, then.

Taesan and Leehan leave the office, acknowledging the receptionist who was playing games on her cellphone, waiting for something to happen. She puts it down quickly when she sees Dr. Kim, bowing her head slightly with a sheepish smile. Leehan chuckles and they leave the lobby, making their way towards the nearest elevator. They press the button and wait for the elevator to arrive.

TAESAN: Leehan.

LEEHAN: Taesan.

TAESAN: Why Busan?

LEEHAN, brows furrowing: What do you mean? This is my home.

TAESAN: Yeah, but why here? You had so many good offers in Seoul, ones that paid ten times the amount you get paid here. So why Busan?

LEEHAN, humming: It was never about money. I couldn't care less about how much I got paid. [Pause. He turns to look at Taesan.] As long as I enjoy what I do, as long as I'm passionate about it — that's all that’s ever mattered to me.

The elevator dings and the doors open. They step inside, standing side by side, and Leehan presses the button that will take them to the parking garage where Taesan left his car.

LEEHAN (CONT'D): Why do you sing? Why do you write? Why do you produce? Why do you do anything you do?

Taesan stays quiet. He had never really thought about it before, at least not recently. When he'd started singing, he had always just done it because people told him he was good at it, but it was never a choice he'd made on his own.

So why did he keep doing it?

TAESAN: Y/N liked when I sang. She liked my songs.

LEEHAN: So you did it for her?

TAESAN: Everything I've ever done was for her.

LEEHAN: That should tell you all you need to know, then.

The elevator stops and the doors open once again, revealing the dimly-lit parking garage. The two step out, but Leehan doesn't walk any further. Taesan looks back at him, wondering if he would say something else. But he doesn't say much. Instead, he lifts his hand and waves.

LEEHAN, smiling: See you.

Taesan smiles and waves back.

TAESAN: See you.

Leehan turns around and gets back in the elevator, and Taesan watches as the doors close. Then, he's left alone in the parking garage. He makes his way towards his car, taking the keys of his black Mercedes out of his pocket. He unlocks the car and gets inside, closing the door with a loud sigh. Taesan rubs the side of his face and puts the car in reverse as he backs out of his parking spot, then puts the car in drive, making his way home to Seoul — to a cold, empty house. The house that was meant to be shared with you.

It was one thing to say it out loud, that he'd talk to you, that you’d talk about how you really felt, but it was another to actually do it. You had done a great job avoiding him until now, and Taesan knew you well. His calls would go straight to voicemail, his messages would be left on delivered just like all the ones he'd sent before. Despite how you really felt — or how he thought you did — he knew that the last thing you wanted was to talk to him about something that should be left in the past. But still, Han Taesan just can't seem to let you go. No, he doesn't want to let you go. Not when he still loves you so intensely despite it all. Not when a part of him knows you feel the same way. There was still so much he hadn't told you, so much you deserved to hear.

Maybe if he'd told you the truth, you never would've been in this position. Maybe if he'd listened to what you wanted rather than assuming that this was the best decision for them, he wouldn't be pulled over on the side of the highway, gripping the steering wheel until his knuckles turned white, tears pouring from his eyes as he leaned his head against it.

Maybe if he'd done it when he had the chance, it would've meant something.

INTERMISSION: WHO WE WERE.

SPRING 2030, 7:19 AM.

JEJU ISLAND, SOUTH KOREA.

The sound of birds chirping outside the hotel room window fills Han Taesan’s ears, his mind waking before his eyes do. When they do, he's met with the white ceiling above him, his thoughts now beginning to race the moment his brain realized he was awake. Taesan sighs and rolls over onto his side, pulling the blanket that was draped over his body higher, trying to hide from the sunlight that peeked through the curtains.

Beside him lies you, still sound asleep. Taesan stares at the side of your face for a moment, his tired eyes softening. Then, he moves to wrap his arms around your sleeping frame, smiling when he feels you stir against him.

Y/N, groggily and with closed eyes: Get off me, Taesan.

TAESAN, shaking his head as he buries it in your neck: Never.

You sigh, not even trying to push him away. Your eyes open and you turn your head to look at him. He smiles at you and plants a kiss on your temple.

TAESAN (CONT'D): You're so pretty, Y/N.

You stare at him for a moment, holding his gaze. Even after all these years, there was something about looking into his eyes that made your heart race. Perhaps it was how genuine they were. You snorted, pushing him away gently and sitting up.

Y/N: Thanks, you tell me every day.

Taesan lays his head on the pillow and looks up at you. He watches you stretch, your back arching as you stretch your arms upward.

TAESAN: Because you are.

You side-eye him, trying your best to contain your smile. Then you lay back down, facing him, Taesan's eyes still watching you.

Y/N, eyes narrowed in curiosity, smiling: You want something from me, don't you?

TAESAN: I just want to know when we're getting married.

Y/N: What, you want me to propose to you?

TAESAN, smiling at the idea: Would you? I wouldn’t mind.

You don't respond. Your lips form a thin line and you shrug. You move to sit up, but Taesan wraps his arms around your waist and pulls you back down, keeping you close.

TAESAN (CONT'D): You would.

Y/N: If you knew, why'd you ask?

You turn around, still in Taesan's arms. He smiles at you softly and pulls you gently to his chest, close enough for you to hear his heartbeat. You relax, wrapping your own arms around him, closing your eyes.

TAESAN: I just wanted the confirmation.

Despite the sun starting to rise higher into the blue morning sky, and despite you both having business that needed to be attended to in a couple hours, you and Taesan fall back asleep in each other's arms, the sound of your breathing leveling out. By the time you wake up again, it is almost noon, and you're sure you’ve missed at least two of your meetings by then. After much struggle and complaints from your boyfriend, however, you managed to get out of Taesan's arms and sat on the edge of the bed, rummaging through your luggage for clothes.

Taesan sits up, his eyes still half-closed, his hair a mess. His shoulders slouch and his hand comes up to rub the side of his face, letting out a breath.

Y/N, mumbling to yourself: Did I not pack it?

TAESAN, mumbling: You know, when you're on vacation, you're supposed to get away from work.

Y/N: You're saying that as if you don't have things to do.

TAESAN: I do, but they can wait.

You chuckle and stand up, crouching down before the suitcase as if you’d get a better view of what you were looking for. Taesan scoots closer to the edge of the bed, the blanket still wrapped around his body, his legs crossed beneath him.

TAESAN (CONT'D): What are you looking for?

You sigh and run a hand through your hair. You look up at Taesan, who's looking at you with furrowed brows, wondering what you could've lost. You smile and shake your head.

Y/N: Just a shirt I thought I packed. It's nothing important.

Taesan hums and nods, scratching the top of his head. He continues to watch as you settle for a plain black, long-sleeve, sitting on the wooden floor of the hotel room as you take off your pajama shirt and change, muttering words to yourself. A thought crosses Taesan's mind, his eyes lighting up as he corrects his posture.

TAESAN: Can I come with you?

You glance at him momentarily, then get off the floor, putting on a pair of pants.

Y/N, raising a brow: To a meeting? You'd have nothing to do there.

TAESAN, frowning: I'll have nothing to do if I stay here all day anyway.

Y/N: I'll only be gone for— [You check your phone for the time.] —two hours, Taesan.

TAESAN, his frown deepening: Two hours too long.

Y/N: Do you really want to come? You won't know anyone there.

TAESAN: I know you.

Y/N, smiling: You do want something from me.

TAESAN, shifting in place: I already told you what I wanted.

Y/N: Yeah, and there's something else. I know it.

You pause, putting on the bracelets you’d left on the nightstand the night before.

RIKU (CONT'D): I know you, too.

Taesan was silent as he watched his partner finish getting ready, walking from one end of the room to the other. It wasn't a rare thing for either of you to be busy — especially with your own respective careers beginning to take off. However, sometimes he wished that you had a bit more time left over for each other.

No responsibilities, no obligations. Just the two of you.

You paused your movements, turning to look at your boyfriend who was silently watching you the entire time.

Y/N: You can come, if you want.

TAESAN, eyes widening slightly: Wouldn't I be a bother?

Y/N: To them? Maybe, but not to me.

TAESAN: I don't really care about them.

RIKU, chuckling: Then why'd you ask?

Taesan smiles and instantly gets out of the bed, running to the hotel bathroom. He almost falls, holding onto the doorframe of the bathroom to keep his balance. You laugh, moving out of his way as Taesan throws on decent-looking clothes, wets his hair and face, and brushes his teeth quickly. Then, he's by the door, putting his shoes on, gesturing for you to do the same so you could leave.

Y/N (CONT'D): You didn't have to rush.

You stand in the hallway, waiting for the elevator to reach your floor before boarding it. Taesan grabs your hand, holding it gently.

TAESAN, squeezing your hand: I'm just excited to hang out with you.

You give him a look, then chuckle.

Y/N: We've lived together for two years.

TAESAN: Doesn't mean I can't be excited.

Han Taesan spends the next two hours sitting beside you in a coffee shop near the hotel you were staying at, tuning out the conversation you were having with your agent and other self-proclaimed important people — something about an opportunity to secure a role for a coming-of-age film. You’d be playing a character in their early twenties, traveling the world as you search for purpose in your boring, quiet life — a character who almost gains everything, only to lose it in the end. Taesan glances at your agent and before he knows it, he’s leaving the coffee shop with you beside him, waving goodbye to your agent.

You fall into step as you walk beside each other back to the hotel. Taesan wasted no time in addressing his own thoughts about the role you had been presented, grabbing your hand.

TAESAN (CONT'D), quietly: I don't think you should take on such a depressing role.

You turn to look at him, your brows furrowing for a moment as you tried to make out what he'd said.

Y/N: Why not? It didn't sound too bad.

TAESAN: I don't want the world to perceive you that way.

Y/N: That's why it's called a role, Taesan. It's a script. It's work.

They stop walking as they reach a crosswalk, watching cars pass by as they wait for the lights to change. Taesan sighs, turning to face you as he speaks to you, your eyes meeting.

TAESAN: Y/N, I know you. You invest yourself in the script until you become said character. And even after shooting's done, you take a part of them home with you. They become part of you. [He pauses.] I don't want a character like that to become part of you.

You give him a look, laughing, unsure why your boyfriend was so worried about which roles you took all of a sudden.

Y/N: You're so serious.

TAESAN: Because I mean it. I think you should take happier roles.

The light changes, signaling pedestrians to cross the street.

Y/N, eyeing him as you begin walking forward: They don't become part of me.

TAESAN, walking behind you as he follows: We've lived together for two years. Do you think I wouldn't know the difference between having a conversation with a character and my girlfriend?

Your pace slows as you wait for Taesan to be standing beside you. You stop again, and you look at his brown eyes, thinking about his words, knowing exactly what he meant. You’d never done it on purpose — it was always just the result of becoming so immersed in your roles. You sigh, looking away. You walk.

Y/N: Fine, I won't take it. But not because you're telling me to.

TAESAN: But do you see my point?

Y/N: Sure. Yeah, okay.

As you near the hotel, you and Taesan fall silent, your thoughts running marathons in your heads. You walk through the doors of the hotel, entering the lobby and passing the receptionist who acknowledges you in silence as you make your way to the elevator. You press the button, and then wait quietly for the elevator to arrive.

Taesan begins to feel anxious as he reaches to grab your hand once again.

TAESAN, nervously: Don't be mad.

You squeeze his hand reassuringly.

Y/N: I'm not. Why would I be?

TAESAN: I just don't want you to be mad at me.

Y/N: I'm not mad at you, Taesan.

TAESAN: Good. Okay.

Taesan pauses as the elevator doors open. Without letting go of each other's hand, you move aside as people walk out, then enter once it is empty. You press the button to the seventh floor, and you stand quietly beside each other again.

TAESAN (CONT'D): I love you, Y/N.

You smile, your lips pressed together.

Y/N: I love you, too. Where is this coming from?

TAESAN: I just wanted you to know.

With his thumb, Taesan caresses the back of your palm slowly, his eyes glued to the elevator doors. You look at him, wondering why he's so serious today.

Y/N: Are you sure you don't want anything from me?

Taesan turns his head and looks at you. The elevator dings and the doors open. He smiles at you, and you feel your heart clench.

TAESAN: Nothing I don't already have.

You step out, letting go of each other as you make their way down the hallway. Taesan reaches into his pocket and pulls out the room key, tapping it on the door. The door unlocks and he opens it, stepping aside and waiting for you to walk in first. You do and he follows.

Y/N: Good. I don't think I have anything left to give you.

Taesan closes the door and takes off the jacket he was wearing, folding it in his arms. He watches you as you lean with your hand against the wall, taking off your shoes.

TAESAN, suggesting: You could give me your hand.

Y/N, looking back as your shoes come off: You were holding it just a couple seconds ago.

You make your way toward the bed and throw yourself onto it, a relieved sigh leaving your lips. Taesan sits down next to you. You lift yourself just enough to move your head onto his thigh, your eyes closing. His hands play with the strands of your hair almost instinctively.

TAESAN, looking at the wall: I meant in marriage.

Y/N, muffled: I could.

His eyes widen slightly at your words, turning his attention away from the wall and onto you expectantly.

TAESAN: Would you?

Y/N: I would.

You hum and turn your head and look up at him, meeting his expectant eyes and smiling at him.

Y/N (CONT'D): Eventually.

Taesan scoffs, which results in laughter from you.

TAESAN, turning away: “Eventually” is too long.

Y/N, sitting up: “Eventually” is no set amount of time.

TAESAN: Still too long. [He turns and looks at you, eyes somewhat desperate, almost pleading.] What if I want it now? What if I don't ask for it ever again?

Y/N, amused: You would ask for it again, though.

TAESAN: Hypothetically, then. What if I didn't?

Y/N: Then I'd probably have to ask you, wouldn't I?

TAESAN: You think I'd say yes?

Y/N, stunned: Why wouldn't you say yes?

Deep down, Taesan knows he doesn't have a reason to deny you. He knows that if it ever did come down to it and you did propose to him, he'd probably accept before you could even start your speech. And he knows that even if they push it off for another couple of years, even if they never end up getting married, he'll still love you regardless.

TAESAN, shrugging: Pride, maybe.

Y/N, unable to believe him: You're not prideful. Not enough to reject me.

He laughs because it's true, because he could never find it in himself to reject you, because everything he's ever done was for your sake — including pushing back his proposal to you.

TAESAN: You're right. You do know me.

Y/N: Of course I know you. I love you.

You smile with your eyes before leaning in to kiss your boyfriend. He doesn't move away, letting you do what you want, kissing you back. When you pull away, all he can do is look at you in silence, so in love with you that even words fail him. He watches you stand up from the bed and walk into the hotel bathroom, leaving the door open as you washed your face.

TAESAN, loud enough for you to hear: But knowing someone and loving someone isn't necessarily the same thing, Y/N.

You lean back just enough for your eyes to meet, your face wet. You then turn back and grab a clean towel, drying your face gently.

Y/N, muffled, yet firm: Knowing someone means loving someone. You know them because you love them. [You sniffle and hang the towel back up, applying cream to your face.] I know you because I love you. And I love you because I know who you are.

TAESAN: But you won't marry me.

Y/N, chucking: I didn't say that. I said "eventually."

TAESAN, joking: Hm, that sounds like a “no” to me.

You laugh again and walk out of the bathroom, turning the light off and closing the door behind you. You walk back over to the bed where Taesan is now laying down, his hands beneath his head as he stares up at the ceiling. You lay down beside him, wrapping your arms around his waist. Taesan puts an arm around you, pulling you closer, your head resting on his chest.

TAESAN (CONT'D): It's just you and me forever, right?

Y/N, nodding into his chest: Mhm. You and me.

TAESAN: Good. I can't imagine it being anybody else.

Y/N, quietly: Me neither.

You had things to do, places to be, a day to make the most of and yet you chose to lay there in the silence, falling asleep once again to the sound of each other's quiet breathing. Perhaps it was the comfort you found in each other that allowed you to be so carefree with your day — comfort in the fact that you’d both found each other and were never planning on letting one another go. Even though your jobs tended to keep you away from each other, even though you were exhausted come nightfall, there was comfort in the idea of coming home to one another. It was almost a reason to keep going, a reason to do what they did. Han Taesan and you against the world, right? That's what it would always be.

Until, eventually, it wasn't.

ACT III: WHO WE ARE.

WINTER 2036, 7:28 PM.

SEOUL, SOUTH KOREA.

There's a sense of uncertainty in your movements, a feeling of hesitation as you struggle to decide between which snacks to take back to your hotel room a couple blocks away. You cross your arms over your chest, your eyes narrowing and hand raising slightly before pulling yourself back, unsure of which bag would satisfy your cravings. You sigh, scratching the back of your head, unable to come to a decision.

It had been almost two years since the last time you had been in Seoul. Though it hadn't been long, you felt the city to be foreign, a completely different world compared to the one you’d been living in Nagoya. Even after having lived there for nine years, you believed that everything about the city had changed — as if everything you’d left behind had been gotten rid of, as if you were starting again on a clean slate, the life you once had gone completely.

Well, almost.

After a few moments of silent contemplation, you decide to leave empty handed, offering the cashier a smile as you walk out of the corner store, your hands immediately finding themselves in the pockets of your jacket. A shiver runs down your spine, Seoul's cool winter breeze not much different from the one in Nagoya. You stand still for a moment, a part of you afraid to move, a sudden wave of regret washing over you — regret that you’d taken Jaehyun's advice and come back, regret that you’d even considered it to begin with. You sigh once again, deciding that there was no use in dwelling over a decision you’d already made, and as you begin to make your way back to your hotel room, you feel a sudden pain  — a hard pain, your chest beginning to ache. Carelessly, you’d run into something, something hard enough to make you bend forward in pain, your teeth clenched as you hold your hand over your chest.

Y/N, through gritted teeth: Fuck.

A man stands before you, a look of worry washing over him. You hadn't paid enough attention and had run into him. His hand hovers over your shoulder, contemplating, hesitating, before speaking.

MAN, worriedly: I'm so sorry, are you okay?

You wince as you feel your chest throb, taking a moment to breathe before responding.

Y/N, strained, holding her hand up: It's okay, I wasn't looking. I'm sorry.

You squat, and the man squats with you, beginning to panic.

MAN, anxious: Are you sure? You look like you're in pain.

Y/N, sucking in a breath: I am, but it's not your—

You look up, the words suddenly caught in the back of your throat as your eyes meet the man's. Your body tenses and the pain you once felt disappears. The man freezes as well, a part of him in disbelief, unable to believe the woman in front of him was real and not just a hallucination. You move away from him slightly — backwards, almost falling onto the cold pavement. The man catches you, grabbing your wrist and pulling you forward. Once you find your balance, you pull away, standing up, a look of confusion written across your features as you look around, looking anywhere but at him. The man stands up, his mouth slightly agape, his eyes remaining on you.

Han Taesan couldn't believe his eyes. It was too good to be true.

TAESAN, brows furrowing: Y/N.

Your ears twitch at the sound of your name and you panic, unsure of what to say to him, unsure if you even had anything to say to him. Suddenly, every word you’d thought of in advance, every possible conversation you’d imagined you could've had went flying out the window. There was nothing you could bring yourself to say to him — you couldn't even bring yourself to tell him you were flying to Seoul just to talk to him.

So, instead of speaking, instead of trying to run away, you stare at Han Taesan for what feels like an eternity — and the memories of the years you’d spent together suddenly play on loop in your mind as your eyes welled up with tears, overwhelmed.

Y/N, mumbling as you tried to get past him: Sorry. [Your head lowers, hoping he would let you pass and pretend he hadn't seen you, that he'd believe he was only hallucinating.] Excuse me.

As much as he wants to, he doesn't grab you, he doesn't hold you back. He just stands there outside the convenience store, staring off into the distance where you’d previously stood before him, balling his hands into fists as his knuckles turn white and biting the inside of his cheek, wondering if he should say anything. But the more time that passes, the further you get from him. And he knows he should let you go. He knows he should pretend your encounter hadn't happened, and he knows he should move on with his life and search for love in someone else because you tried and failed.

But he just can't. It's not who he is.

TAESAN, loudly: Y/N.

You stop walking away and almost instantly, you wish you hadn't — because now he knows that you really did want to see him no matter how many times you ignored him. Now he knows that a part of you still cared about him, about what he had to say, about what he wanted to say. And you wished so badly that you’d kept walking and forgot about everything that had and could've been.

But you couldn't, because it's just not who you are.

You turn around and hesitate before looking at him, your eyes instantly finding themselves lost in his own. And you can see it, the sadness that pours out of him the longer he looks at you, the way he tries so hard to hold himself back. Taesan sees it in you, too — a sudden wave of regret, of guilt despite having done nothing wrong. He sees it in the way your bottom lip trembles as you swallow hard, and how you can no longer hold back your own tears, letting them slip one by one, then all at once.

Taesan lets out a breath, looking away, looking down. His eyes close for a moment, tightly, before they open and are locked with yours once more.

TAESAN (CONT'D): I think we should talk.

• • •

You didn't know how much you missed sitting across from Han Taesan until you were.

It was a place so familiar, yet so foreign to you at the same time, a house filled to the brim with furniture, yet so empty. You never thought you’d find yourself in that house ever again. Yet here you were, sitting on the couch you used to sit on, your hands holding a glass cup of water — a glass from the same set you’d brought home years ago. It was then that you realized the room you were in was kept exactly the same. In fact, everything about the house was exactly the same.

The same way you’d left it.

Taesan is sitting to the side, on a seat to your right. He hasn't said anything since they sat down, playing with his hands — probably collecting his thoughts together first before he said anything.

You decided maybe you should start.

Y/N, clearing your throat: It looks the same.

Taesan looks up from his hands and turns his attention to you, his eyes widening slightly and his ears twitching at the sound of your voice.

TAESAN, slightly confused: What does?

Y/N, quietly: The house.

He blinks and shifts in his seat. Seconds pass before a melancholic smile finds its way onto his face. He looks back down at his hands.

TAESAN: I couldn't bring myself to move anything.

Y/N, with furrowing brows: Why? It's your house.

TAESAN, chuckling: Not really. It was more yours than it was mine.

Y/N: You bought it.

TAESAN: I know. But you actually made it feel like a home. Now it just feels like a shelter from the outside.

Y/N: It's much nicer than a shelter.

There's a moment of silence between you, a moment of contemplation. Taesan wonders if he should filter his feelings and words, if he should beat around the bush before getting to the point. You wonder how long he'd been wanting to say this to you, and how long it'll take for you to say what you’ve been wanting to say to him. Both of you sit in the silence of the melancholy that radiates from your bodies, unable to look at each other, afraid of what would happen when you did, afraid of what words your eyes would tell that your mouths couldn't.

TAESAN: You know, I thought I'd never see you again.

Y/N, nodding and taking in a deep breath: I know.

TAESAN: I wanted to, though.

You feel it, your tears building up as you listen to Taesan's voice, and you do everything you can to prevent yourself from breaking down.

TAESAN (CONT'D): I'm glad you're here, Y/N. It's nice to see you again.

But Han Taesan has always had a way with words. From the moment you had met him almost nine years ago to now, two years after your divorce. He knew what to say despite his silence and obvious overthinking. He knew that no matter what he said, you would listen because that's just who you are, someone who listened. Even when you were angry with him, even when your pride would get in the way. You always had room in your heart for Han Taesan and the longer you sat on that couch, the harder it became for you to keep in what you wanted to say to him.

Y/N, sighing deeply: I'll watch your shows sometimes. [You pause, avoiding looking at him despite his eyes searching for yours.] On TV. And your songs will play on the radio wherever I go, so I could never really get away from you even if I tried.

TAESAN, somewhat humorously: You weren't trying to get away from me?

Y/N, smiling, still looking down: No. I just didn't want to make it harder for you if I stayed.

TAESAN, nodding along to her words and looking at the ceiling: I felt worse when you were gone, you know.

Y/N: [She hums.] Well, that makes two of us.

You look at Taesan now that he's turned away, and a million thoughts run through your head as you wonder for the nth time where it all could've gone wrong. But your silence wouldn't be the one to provide an answer, and you know this — so you speak.

Y/N (CONT'D): Why did you ask for the divorce, Taesan?

He knew it coming, he saw it was coming a hundred miles away at full speed. But hearing the words finally leave your mouth filled him with a different kind of pain, an almost intolerable pain.

TAESAN: Because I thought it was what you wanted. [He pauses and looks at you again, your eyes finally meeting his own since you’d sat down.] Why did you agree?

Y/N: Because I thought that's what you wanted.

TAESAN, lips forming a thin line: Then I guess neither of us knew what we wanted.

And it hurt, really — to know that you were both wrong about the other, to know that your solution to a temporary problem was never either of your first options. You could've fixed it if you’d just tried, your marriage. You could've taken a break from your professional lives and focused on each other, on what the other truly wanted. But life is cruel, and the human mind is a much crueler, wretched thing.

Taesan purses his lips in thought before continuing, looking down, suddenly unable to face you.

TAESAN (CONT'D): I think about you all the time, you know. I wonder what you're doing every second that I'm awake, if you've eaten, if you also noticed how white the moon looks from your window. I write songs in the journals you gifted me, songs that are always about you. And in the margins, I write notes about you — your favorite color, the places you wanted to visit the most, the way you cry when you're overwhelmed with joy — the things I don't want to forget about you. And if I was any good at drawing, the way you are, I'd probably paint you on every canvas I came across, Y/N.

You don't speak because you can't. Your lips are sealed against each other and trembling as you listen to him confess his feelings for you all over again. It felt exactly like the first time he'd done it all those years ago, except now you had a past and neither of you could stop yourselves from crying, from remembering, from regretting.

TAESAN (CONT'D), sniffling: I didn't want it. [His voice cracks and he hears your attempt at holding in your cries. His eyes close, overwhelmed as he sucks in a breath.] I didn't want it. I didn't— [He cuts himself off, rubbing the left side of his face with his hand, an attempt to hide himself for a moment as he tries to control himself.] I'm sorry, Y/N. I am.

You watch the tears leave his eyes, the almost-silence suffocating you as they listen to each other attempt to hold back your cries. But he was being so honest, it felt wrong for you to not say anything.

Y/N, sucking in a shaky breath: When Jaehyun came to visit me last summer, he told me that I should talk to you. He said you'd rather hear what I had to say in person rather than an interview. I wanted to, really. I wanted you to hear everything in person. But I was so hung up on the idea that perhaps, despite your obvious efforts to reach out, a part of you hated me. I believed that was why you asked for the divorce, because in the end you came to hate me.

He looks at you, and every attempt to be strong goes flying out the window the moment his eyes meet yours again. You both look at each other through tears, your cheeks stained, your eyes aching.

Y/N (CONT'D): I think about you, too, Taesan. I'm always thinking about you and whether it was the right thing to go our separate ways.

TAESAN, sadly: Do you think it was?

Y/N: I wish I knew.

TAESAN: How are you, Y/N? [Tearfully] Really.

Y/N, exhaling before continuing: I'm okay. Life is simpler and quieter, but it's not something I hate. It's familiar, like when we were together. The only difference is I don't see you anymore.

TAESAN: Besides TV, you mean?

You laugh through your tears, wiping your face with your hand as you sniffle, then nod.

Y/N: Besides TV.

TAESAN: Where do you think it all went wrong, then?

Y/N: When we stopped talking to each other. When you stopped telling me unimportant details about your day and when I stopped telling you the unimportant details about mine. [Pause] It was never the distance that kept us apart because even when you were touring or when I was filming in a different country, we still managed.

TAESAN: I missed you every second you were gone.

Y/N: So did I.

TAESAN: Did you still miss me after the divorce?

Y/N: I did. [You look down, picking at your cuticles.] Terribly. Too much, I think.

TAESAN: But you never tried to talk to me after that.

Y/N: I figured you were doing fine. I didn't want to ruin that for you. I wanted you to be okay. I wanted to be okay, but I just never really got over it.

TAESAN: But I wasn't fine. I sent you messages all the time, and I would hold myself back from trying to call you every day.

Y/N, jokingly: You didn't do much holding back.

TAESAN: [He smiles, glancing away for a moment.] Because I never felt the need to restrain myself around you, you know. From the moment we met, I'd always just been myself. You held back, though.

Y/N, nodding: [Quietly] I did.

Your smiles falter as you bask in the silence once again. There was so much you wanted to say to each other, so many questions you wanted to ask, yet were unable to speak. The sobs caught in your throats wouldn't let you, and out of pure frustration, you decided you should be the one to ask the question you knew both of you wanted an answer to.

Y/N (CONT'D): Why didn't we just talk to each other, Taesan? Why couldn't we do that much?

You aren't looking at him, but you notice the shift in his demeanor and hear him sigh deeply.

TAESAN, with a tired look on his face: Do you think if we'd talked, things would've worked out?

Y/N: If we had, I wouldn't have to live with the guilt of having let you go.

TAESAN, eyes widening slightly at your words, still not looking at you: You know, I genuinely thought you hated me.

Y/N, somewhat hurt: I couldn't even if I wanted to. Even as time passes and I try to find someone to blame, it's never you that I'm angry at — it's myself. But no matter how badly I want to stop it, time will keep passing me by, Taesan, and the memories I have of you will only keep coming back to me. They'll serve as a reminder that you are not mine anymore. But I have always been yours — whether I was in your arms or entire galaxies away. I was yours from the moment you told me you loved me, and I was yours when you asked me to marry you. I was even yours as we walked out of your lawyer's office for the last time.

Taesan doesn't try to hold it in, and he certainly doesn't try to hide the look of longing, yearning in his eyes when he finally looks at you through his tears.

TAESAN, crying: Don't say that. [He shakes his head.] You'll make me hate myself even more if you say that.

You can't find it in yourself to hold back anymore either as you get up from her seat on the couch and walk over to where Taesan is seated. His teary, puffy eyes follow your movements — he was always watching you, only you — and before you can do anything else, he stands up and wraps his arms around you. His arms seem to fasten around your waist as his face finds solace in your shoulder, his eyes tightly closed, afraid that once he opened them, you’d disappear. But it seemed that your intentions were quite similar to Taesan's considering the way you held him, almost as if it'd be the last time.

Y/N: You know I love you, Taesan. [Your right hand finds its way to the back of his head, holding it gently, holding him closer.] I always have.

TAESAN, sobbing into your shoulder: [Muffled] I know. I'm sorry.

Y/N, choking back a sob: It's okay.

TAESAN: I didn't want t— [His head shakes lightly.]

Y/N: It's okay. [You lean your head closer to his, your tears staining his shirt.] I know.

TAESAN: I love you, too.

You found it harder to say in that moment than you ever had before because now, Han Taesan knows there's nothing he can do to change your past. There's nothing he can do to take back everything he's said and done, and now he'll have to live with his actions. And it hurt, like someone had ripped his heart out, leaving him to die — or at least try to survive without it. He knows this. You know this.

But still, as Taesan drove you back to the hotel you planned to stay at for the one more day before leaving Seoul, and as you sat in his car for five minutes longer after he'd parked, both leaning over to wrap your arms around each other one more time, you couldn't help but hold on to the belief that maybe one day, you’d be able to try again.

Maybe one day, you would get your own happy ending, the one you wished so desperately for, one like in the movies.

Just not today.

2025 © bigsuki, all rights reserved.

[bigsuki]

ANTON 'Odyssey' Intro Film

[bigsuki]

so, is he better than me? ♫⋆｡♪ ₊˚♬ ﾟ.

[bigsuki]

[bigsuki]

high school sweethearts with woonhak who comes to your class at lunch to pick you up and takes you out to eat. walking together, sidewalk rule. drinking boba, of course he pays and you guys sit down across from eachother, eating and tlaking about anything and everything. after school he’d pick you up again, it’s a full routine to the point your friends point it out “look woonhaks already here, your still packing up” they say in teasing voices and chus. walking home together hand in hand

he’d suprise you with ice cream if your having a bad day, takes you to the mall after school, photobooth, food court, shopping. he’d “help” you with your homework but it always ends up with you both giggling. you cheer him on at his basketball games. he’d say “this is for you” and miss LOL but that’s on the late night walks you both take to the local court near you. matching polaroids on the back of your phone cases, matching keychains.

if your sick and didn’t come to school, couldn’t even text him, he’d notice you don’t come to your regular spot you both met up at so he starts to get worried, immediately heading to the closest convenience store. he’ll come to your house with soup, medicine, snacks and such but he lowkey sucks at taking care of you, so you guys just giggle at how bad he is, but of course you know deep down. he truly loves you and cherishes every moment with you. your sweet and smiley boy.

[bigsuki]

IF I SAY, I LOVE YOU. ─── KIM WOONHAK

Woonhak is amazing when it comes to academics. He ranks high, never low, in any result he receives. English is his best subject, and yet, his book smarts fail him when it comes to reading himself—why is he all flustered around you, the girl he's strictly only supposed to tutor?

OR IN WHICH . . . Woonhak trying to figure out his feelings for you is like a test that isn't open book. Something he's good at, but struggles when it comes to a real life situation. If he is to say that he loves you, he only wonders how you'd reply.

THE PAIRING -> nerd!woonhak x fem!reader ( ft. jaehyun from boynextdoor )

⤷ THIS CONTAINS ────୨ৎ──── oneshot school au ( they are juniors ) romcom tutor x tutee loser!woonhak ( pushing that loser!bnd agenda lool ) ( 6O18 WORDS ! )

NOTE -> thank you soph for sending me that glasses woonhak edit yesterday morning we say in unison... it was lifechanging guys ( literally lifechanging because i spent a good twenty minutes binging woonhak edits a little after.... found one to the song loser by cheeze and now here we are!!!!!!!!!! ) playlist is linked in the title too!

QUESTION ONE — WHAT WOULD YOU SAY?

It’s happening again. Woonhak’s face is running red, his palms are becoming sweaty, his glasses are slipping down the bridge of his nose, and he’s stumbling over his words. And it’s all because you’re in front of him.

Today’s a Monday—the day where he tutors you. Unfortunately, it’s the only day he tutors you too. He regrets not deciding on more days when the two of you first started planning out a perfect schedule. It’s not like he has to devote his time to his six hour study sessions everyday. He could definitely spend another day or two with you.

“That’s not right.” He says, followed by a swallow. He pushes his glasses, bringing them back to their original spot as he points at the right answer.

“It’s this one.” 

Math is also something Woonhak is good at. He loves it. The satisfaction after seeing his final answer match the answer key. It’s the best, really. He wishes he could feel the same satisfaction once he figures out why he feels this way when he’s with you. What overcomes him, making him react in a way he’s never reacted before?

His attention shifts from the worksheet to you. The puzzled expression on your face as you try to piece together the steps in your mind makes him smile. It always does, but he doesn’t know why. Is it because it gives him a reason to explain the answer even further? Or is the reason the fact that he gets to spend more time with you without needing an excuse? 

“Oh! I get it now.” You gasp and pick up your pencil to write down notes before you forget. Woonhak’s happy at the fact you’re starting to understand the unit more and more every time you meet each other.

It’s torture.

It’s torture because it only happens once a week. When you ask to meet an extra day for an upcoming test or extra practice, he's overjoyed. Although those are rare occasions, he’s always crossing his fingers behind his back whenever you come up to him. He wants you to ask. He’d gladly give you his time. Even if it never comes, he continues to hope it will during every other interaction.

“I’m glad…” He mutters, the same soft smile on his face. 

Your eyes widen at the time, noticing how you’ll be late for dinner if you don’t leave now. You gasp again, gaining the boy's attention almost immediately. 

You’re hastily packing up your things as Woonhak watches in silence. He knows what words are about to leave your mouth. It’s not like this would have stayed forever, though he wanted it to. He can’t do anything because he’s not in control of it.

“Sorry, I have to go.” You apologize and swing your backpack over your shoulder. He gives you a small smile, followed by an ‘it’s okay’ which pains him to say. It’s not okay. He wants to be near you longer. Today felt so much shorter than before.

But why does he want to be near you longer? You’re just the girl he tutors… and the girl who makes him feel things he’s never felt before. Things that he can’t seem to put his tongue on. He can't name it because he doesn’t know what it is. The only obvious thing to him is the fact it’s not normal. Woonhak has never felt some type of way with his other tutees. So, why is it different with you? 

Why are you different? 

His hand finds its way into his hair, softly pulling at the strands. He’s frustrated. And it’s not because of his homework, it’s way more frustrating than any words on the page are. It’s you and the way your voice wouldn’t leave his head. It’s on repeat—looping like the same videos he watches to teach him extra things everyday, making him go crazy.

What are you doing to him? 

He stares at his chemistry notes. If only understanding what the feeling he has when he’s around you was as easy as solving a chemical reaction using the Ideal Gas Law. How many moles were produced in the new chemical? Easy. He can solve that with his eyes closed.

This isn’t a chemical reaction. The way he feels is nowhere near it. He can’t easily solve what he’s feeling with a formula created by men from the 1830s. Perhaps if he prays hard enough, they’ll come back alive and create one for him personally. Just one to help him organize his headspace better. 

Tough luck. There’s no way that will ever happen. Nothing works in his favour.  If he were to receive a test about this, he wouldn’t even know what to study for. The results would be his first ever zero—not even a passing grade at this point. He wouldn't even be close to earning something like that.

Woonhak groans, clawing at his scalp with both hands. It’s only 8:30 p.m. A few hours before he has to sleep according to his perfect sleep schedule. The one he’s perfected as a child: sleep at 10:30 p.m. every night to wake up at 7:00 a.m. every day. A perfect eight hours and thirty minutes of sleep is enough to keep him going through the school day.

A perfect sleep schedule that he’s perfected as a child. 

The one that he perfected as a child only to ruin it as a 17-year-old. Woonhak’s lying on his back and staring at his ceiling fan that spins slowly. His room is pitch black, due to the black out curtains he invested in. They help him stay focused when he studies because there’s no light to distract him.

But right now? Right now they’re suffocating. His room is so quiet—too quiet for him to sleep. His thoughts are overclouding him. They are all too much for him to have a peaceful rest. 

Fuck it. 

He flips over onto his side, reaching for his phone on the nightstand in a swift motion. The screen is blaring and bright in his dark and gloomy room as he squints. The clock reads 2:23 a.m., which is obviously way past the time he gets into bed. The fact he’s been trying to sleep for the last four hours only clicks moments after. 

He’s failing miserably. 

The voice in Woonhak’s head is telling him to turn off his phone and try again, but his heart is saying otherwise. He goes against the voice and unlocks his phone. He flicks through his apps, avoiding the one he wants to click on badly. The app that could be the answer to all his problems. 

Safari. 

He pauses and stares at the blue, red, and white icon. He swallows thickly as his thumb hovers over it. It does circles alone, the circles over his other thumb, before he’s clicking the app with no second thought. It opens up a new web page—step two of reaching the solution to all his problems.

His bottom lip gets caught underneath his teeth as he presses letters on the keyboard. He starts with an I, then hits the space bar. It’s followed by four letters d-o-n-t, then another hit of the space bar. He halts his movements. He doesn’t know why he’s so hesitant. This is something he wants to figure out, and yet, he’s holding back from doing so. It feels like he’s about to see his final grade for a course he took, but worse. Ten times worse. 

Woonhak wishes he could use his knowledge and figures this out himself. He’s smart, but there are some things he doesn’t know. This is definitely one of them. He sighs as he continues to type the rest of words out into his search bar. Once he presses enter, he’s brought to the results. There are many of them. He doesn’t know which one he should click.

He reads. Scrolls. Reads. Then scrolls until he finds a result that matches his situation like a theory that matches its observations—perfectly—and clicks on it. It brings him to a website he’s never seen before because one, he’s never looked up such a thing, and two, when has he ever felt this way until now? Never.

I get flustered all over when I'm near a certain someone, what does this mean? 

The original poster is in the same boat as Woonhak. They don’t know what their sudden feeling of happiness and the heat that rushes to the palms of their hands as well as their face means. Neither does Woonhak. 

The comments appear as he scrolls. They are all saying the same thing, over and over again. 

You like them. You have a crush on them. It’s feelings, you like them.

“Like, like like them?” Woonhak whispers to himself. He knows what crushes are. His friend talks his ear off about them all the time, but he never pays much attention to it. Either he’s reading a book or revising notes for his next period. However, now that he thinks about it, whenever Jaehyun boasted about his crush, he’s mentioned feeling the same way Woonhak does when he’s near you.

He likes you? 

The two of you only met four months ago at the first ever peer-tutoring meeting. He remembers it vividly. The way you rested your chin in your hand, fingers softly drumming against your cheek to a rhythm you made. The way you chimed into the group conversation whenever you had a question. The way you looked around the classroom in search of a student whose name appeared on your acceptance form. The way you smiled at Woonhak when you matched his name to his face. The way his heart did a slight flip when he saw it. He thought you caught him looking at you, because, in all honesty, he was throughout the whole meeting. But when the meeting comes to an end, and you’re heading his way with the idea of starting a conversation and getting to know each other in your head, he knows that wasn’t the case. 

When the words tutor and Woonhak leave your mouth within the same sentence, that’s what confirms his forming thought. He’s going to spend the next six months with you as your tutor, and you’ll be his tutee. 

That was it.

His attention is brought to his phone at the sudden incoming notification. His gaze goes from the contact picture of the selfie you took of both of you at your second meeting, where you caught him off guard, to the contact name beside it. It’s nothing special. Everyone in Woonhak’s phone has their full name as their contact, yet Woonhak feels his heart rate increasing like the numbers on a number chart. (Last Name) (Name), it says with a message underneath. 

(Last Name) (Name): ignore the fact that i’m awake so late, i was actually studying for once! but look, i got my grades back for the last test you helped me with. we passed with an 89!!!! we did it!!!!

He blinks. The first message disappears within the speed of light as another one appears, taking its place. 

(Last Name) (Name): thank you woonhak! :) see you tomorrow, goodnight!

He reads it again and again, letting it register within him. You said thank you, and included his name in the message. You even said goodnight to him, hinting at the fact you’ll definitely see him tomorrow no matter the zero classes with each other. 

Heat shoots up Woonhak’s neck and he’s turning off his phone, placing it back onto the nightstand with its screen facing down. He grabs one of his spare pillows and shoves his face in it all at once. He doesn’t know why such basic messages had this kind of effect on him. Maybe the comments he read earlier were right. 

No, it’s not a maybe, they are right. He’s done questioning the way he feels when he’s near you, since finally—finally, he has an answer for it.

It’s because he likes you. 

QUESTION TWO — IF I SAY,

“Jaehyun.” Woonhak calls from the doorway of his friend’s classroom. The boy takes out his left earbud at the sound of his name. He’s looking around the classroom for the culprit, but then his eyes land on Woonhak who stands at the door. He grins at the sight of his best friend and gets up from his desk as Woonhak moves away from their classroom entrance to let others walk in. 

“What’s up?” Jaehyun asks, hand on the doorframe. “Did you run out of paper again? I have some lined paper in my backpack if you need.” 

He points behind him and Woonhak reaches to put his finger down. Jaehyun’s left confused. He’s never this quiet, and neither are his responses ever late. 

Jaehyun fully steps outside of his classroom, bringing Woonhak to the side. “Did something happen?” He whispers in case it wasn’t something he wanted to say out loud. Woonhak shrugs. He isn’t sure if it’s a bad thing that it happened, when it happened, or if it should even be put in the same sentence with the verb ‘happen’. 

“Look,” he starts as Jaehyun leans in closer. “I know I’m not the type of person to talk about things like this but… Jaehyun, I like (Name).” 

Jaehyun gasps, an alerting ‘what’ leaves his lips right after. Woonhak’s eyes widen through the lens of his glasses and he’s covering his friend's mouth fast. 

“Quiet down!” He whisper-shouts, in hopes that it was enough to scold the older boy. “It’s shocking, I know. I’m the same boy who has his nose in any workbook possible. Trust me, I know that better than anyone.” 

“Well, I mean, yeah, this is very extraordinary of you.” 

Woonhak’s brows furrow at the usage of such an over-the-top word. “Is it that bad?” The boy asks, causing Jaehyun to fervently shake his head. 

“Not at all. I was just surprised…” Jaehyun shoves his hands into his pockets. “Anyway, moving on from that, what are you going to do about it?” 

“About what?”

Jaehyun blinks at the younger boy who innocently stares back at him. If he is to look any longer, he’s sure a question mark will appear beside his head. “Your crush, Woonhak. What are you going to do about it?” 

Oh. 

He hasn’t thought that far. He only came to terms with his feelings a few hours ago. Hell, he hasn’t seen you all morning. Honestly, he’s not sure how he will react if he does at all. 

“I don’t know.” He says. It’s the truth. He doesn’t know what he’s going to do. 

“Well, you should think fast because she’s actually coming our way right now…” Jaehyun says while looking over Woonhak’s head at you. The girl who has a stupidly excited grin on her face at the realization that the boy’s back in front of her is Woonhak’s.

“Goodbye!” 

Jaehyun disappears from Woonhak’s sight, not giving him any time to register what is going on. The flats of his shoes are stuck in place when he tries to move. He can’t bring himself to do it. The way you’re calling his name from down the hall isn’t doing him any better too. His only other choice is to turn around and talk to you. 

Not that he’s complaining, of course. 

“Woonhak!” You cheer from behind, tapping his shoulder. He turns to the tap of your finger. It’s not like he wouldn’t have if you did anything else. 

“Oh, (Name). Hey.” Woonhak gives you a small smile. His hands are behind his back, fingers twiddling with each other to keep them busy. He’s worried that if they stay still for so long, it’ll only cause his palm to become sweaty.

“I’m not sure if you saw my texts last night, but look!” You raise the marked test in front of him. He notices the 89% in red ink almost immediately and his small smile doesn’t falter. 

“That’s great, (Name).” He praises.

He’s only praising you for your accomplishment and yet, you can feel your ears warming up. It’s the way he softly says your name that makes you react in such a way. It’s as if he’d wake up a predator if he said it any louder. 

“Thank you…” You manage to say it even after a terrible attempt to clear your throat. 

You aren’t sure when you started liking Woonhak. Was it the day of the first peer-tutoring meeting, or the day you took the pic of you two during your second tutor session? Was it way before that, when you first noticed him in your grade nine math class? You always found him interesting with how well he worked despite the loudness of your classroom. Maybe it was then when you decided you had eyes for him, but the constant tutoring sessions within the last four months helped finalize that feeling of yours.

It must have been fate with how you two ended up as tutor and tutee.

The hallways become crowded like they do during passing time, meaning the students’ lunch break has come to an end. Thank God for your luck because you aren’t sure how much longer you could last under his eyes. 

“We should get going,” you begin, “I’ll see you whenever!” 

Woonhak feels the same disappointing feeling he’d feel whenever you left at the end of your tutor sessions. Your interaction is cut short because of time once again. He really wishes he could spend all the time in the world with you whenever he wanted to. 

His hands slap both sides of his face, causing his glasses to slip from the commotion. It’s like a repeat of last night, however this time, he isn’t confused about how he feels about you. Not at all. Instead, Jaehyun’s words play in his head.

They’re echoing through his ears as he tries to annotate a page of their novel study book in English. If he doesn’t focus, his assignment won’t get done. He always keeps his phone on silent and away from him when he’s doing work. He never reaches out for it—it was all a part of his ‘perfect’ routine growing up. But clearly, things changed with how he stayed up last night, and still are with how he’s reaching for his phone without completely finishing his work. 

Wow, you really have an effect on him.

Once Woonhak unlocks his phone, he’s rushing to Jaehyun’s messages. There’s something bubbling inside of him like a chemical in a beaker on a hot plate. You don’t know what it is until you do your observations and calculations. 

Maybe that’s exactly what Woonhak has to do.

Kim Woonhak: jaehyun.

Myung Jaehyun:  woah, you scared me. what’s up?

Kim Woonhak: about confessing… how should i do it?

Myung Jaehyun: YOU’RE GOING TO DO IT?????

Kim Woonhak: i think that’s the best way to go about things, my feelings, i mean.

Myung Jaehyun: honestly, go with your gut! 

Kim Woonhak: i’ve never done this before, you and i both know this.

Myung Jaehyun: then… give her a letter, you’re good at writing. do something you’re good at so it doesn’t screw you over.

A letter? He’s never written one before. 

His English teachers during the past few years have said he’s good at writing, which always leads him to believe the same. Despite that, he doesn’t know if he’s capable of writing a letter—a love letter at that. And yet, here is trying.

He stares at the lined papers splayed out on his desk as he taps his blue pen against his jaw. It’s the pen you’ve complimented during one of your tutoring sessions. Apparently, it’s one of the best pens you’ve ever used. 

It glides smoothly across paper with no bleeding or smudges. 

Your words sound through his head as he writes on the page. You were right. He’s never taken note of the way his pens act upon paper. Now that he’s looking closely at the one in his hold, it is different from the other pens he uses. 

Just like how you’re different from any other students he has tutored before. 

The novel he was previously annotating is long forgotten as his focus continues to deepen in the letter he’s writing. It’s fine if he doesn’t get the assignment done now, it’s due in a few days anyway. He likes to be on top of his game, handing things in early so that he doesn’t fall behind with the rest, but here he is, writing an overdue letter pouring out his feelings for you. 

It’s been a month or two since he’s started feeling this way near you. Not once did he ever think he likes you. Honestly, you’re the first crush he’s ever had. He always had his head stuck in notebooks, workbooks, textbooks, and fliers of new school supplies whenever he ran short. Not out, just short. 

He’s used up a page and a half for this letter of his. Did it take a while? Yes. Whenever he made a mistake, he would restart, discarding the now scrap piece of paper somewhere on his desk. It’s not a beautiful sight to someone who’s all about perfection and tidiness. It would send the Woonhak from months ago into a spiral of emotions.

But now, he doesn’t care. All he cares about is putting in enough effort into this love letter and giving you his best words. The ones that manage to make all English teachers swoon. 

QUESTION THREE — I LOVE YOU.

You’re in disbelief at the letter that falls out of your locker the moment you open it. It’s 8:27 a.m. on a Thursday—four days away from your next tutoring session with Woonhak. You held back from asking to see him sometime this week out of your shared schedule. It was a common occurrence in the past, nevertheless, things are different now. They aren’t the same—your feelings aren’t the same. They’ve intensified. 

You even remember the way you panicked when sending him that late night text. You knew he wasn’t going to reply at the same time. There was no way he was awake, you know that, and still part of you hoped that he would. What would a perfectionist like him be doing awake during such late hours? 

Pushing those thoughts aside, you stare down at the envelope in your hand. It’s signed off with the simple initials—the ones you always do a double take for whenever you see the two letters beside each other, KW. 

Kim Woonhak’s initials.

Your stomach sinks. You have no clue what could possibly be inside the envelope. It’s too light to be anything other than a letter. But, what could he possibly write to you about? 

After a bit of hesitation, you peel open the white envelope. The inside reveals a folded piece of paper. On the outside, there’s half a page of writing. Your gut feeling only gets worse. You’re not sure why you’re quick to think negatively. It might be the fact that you’re unsure if he likes you or not. Has he picked up on your feelings and this is his way of rejecting you? Woonhak doesn’t seem like the type to be able to come face to face with someone and tell them off. 

You wouldn’t be shocked if this is his way of telling you off.

You’d unfold the paper, revealing a page filled with blue ink writing. With the way it didn’t bleed through the back and there are no smudges on the front, you’re able to tell exactly which pen he used. The one you took a liking to… the one you continuously saw him using after you said those things about it. The reason why you had some hope that maybe, just maybe, Kim Woonhak saw you the same way. 

This letter will answer the question that roams through your head constantly: does he like me back? 

Dear (Last Name) (Name),

I didn’t think I would ever write a letter nor did I ever think my first letter would be a love letter. To you. However, I’m not mad. I’m more happy that you’re my first. Honestly, I love all the time we spend with one another. It doesn’t fail to make me feel happy whenever I see your smile or hear your voice in the distance. Your company is one of my favourite things ever… but it’s also the thing that has the most effect on me.

The more time we spent with each other during our tutoring sessions, the more I realized, I don’t feel normal around you. I started asking myself questions almost three months ago, why do I feel a certain way when you’re near me? Why do my palms get sweaty and my face turns red when you’re beside me? Why can’t I get your voice out of my head even when it’s occupied with other thoughts during my studying sessions? As the numbers varied, the answers lessened. I couldn’t find the answer to any of my issues—the reason why I felt that way when you’re in my vicinity. 

I wish love was as easy as mixing two chemicals in a beaker during chemistry class. I wish it was as easy as solving quadrantal angles, determining which of the primary trigonometry ratios are positive in what quadrants. As easy as annotating a book for English class, or writing an opinionated essay. Running laps in physical education, punching numbers into a calculator, or organizing my worksheets into a binder whenever I’m bored. But, it’s nowhere near that. It’s as chaotic as the chemical reaction between silver fulminate and potassium chlorate. It’s as confusing as your first glance at the unit circle. But it’s also interesting. It’s interesting to see how it can make one react. How much of a difference it makes in one's life.

You made a difference in my life. You’ve made me discover what it truly means to like someone. You’re the first person to ever make me feel this way. In every other life—universe even, to me, the answer will always be you. You’ll always be the person I’d want to experience this childish feeling with again. You’ll always be the first person on my mind every morning. If I ever lose my memories, you’ll be the first person I look for. I don’t care how long it’ll take me to remember, I’ll make sure I do, you can’t give up on me. You can’t leave my side because I would never leave yours. 

I want all my firsts to be with you. My first kiss, my first ever date—anything and everything. I want to give you my all and spend the rest of my life with you. Spend the rest of our lives together. 

What would you say? If I say, I love you. How would you respond, (Name)?

Sincerely,

Kim Woonhak.

QUESTION FOUR — HOW WOULD YOU RESPOND, (NAME)?

You don’t know what to say. You don’t know how to feel. You don’t know where you’re going. And still, you’re speed walking. The letter is held tightly in your hand. The pressure isn’t enough to crumple the piece of paper, but it’s tight enough to make sure it doesn’t fall. 

The way he used the blue pen that you said you liked, the way he paid close attention to his formatting and indented all his paragraphs, and the way he finished the letter with a dumb question that sadly, only you know the obvious answer to. 

It bothers you. In a good way. 

Your heart is racing, your face is overheating, and your mind is going crazy. It’s not because of the fast pace you’re walking at. It’s only due to the words in that letter—nothing else. Despite how badly you want to, there’s no way you’d find Woonhak now. You never see him until lunch time, and from what you know, he doesn’t check his phone in the mornings either. 

You don’t want to wait till the end. You don't want to give him a response too late. You don’t want to give him false hope. So, you do the second best option on the list—writing him a letter back.

QUESTION FIVE — I LOVE YOU TOO.

Dear Kim Woonhak, 

I truly didn’t expect this letter from you, but I can’t say that I’d complain either. I don’t have a fancy blue pen that doesn’t bleed through papers or smudge like you do. I don’t have the creativity to come up with ways to use words like you do, but I still want to confess as well. I don’t care if I’m not as capable of things like you are, that’s my last worry in the world. Seriously. 

I’m unsure of when my feelings for you sprouted into what it is now. You caught my attention all the way in our shared math class during the ninth grade. I didn’t know your name or anything about you since you kept to yourself, but I always found myself glancing at you whenever the lesson came to an end. Part of me hoped that you’d turn around and finally notice me, but you never did. It’s been a while since I last saw you since that year ended. You weren’t roaming the halls like I was. You weren’t in clubs or doing sports like I was. I even thought you moved schools and decided to let go of what wasn’t a thing in the first place. 

But then, I saw you again. It was during the first ever peer-tutoring meeting. I was beating myself up for even needing a tutor in the first place… it made me feel like a sore thumb in a group of perfectly fine fingers. The odd one out. Nevertheless, that ill feeling went away when I saw you sitting down. The way your glasses dumbly rested on your nose bridge and how you attentively listened to everything the members said. It didn’t fail to make my heart flutter like the wings of a butterfly. When reading my acceptance form, I wondered, who’s Kim Woonhak? I’ve never seen or heard the name before during my three years of being at this school, yet I still found myself hoping that it was you. I wanted to get closer to you. I can’t even express the happiness I felt when I matched the name on the green sheet of paper to the one sewed into your felt name tag. That was the only thing we had in common, red felt name tags attached to the same uniforms we wore. However, it wasn't enough. I wanted something more. 

As we spent more time together, the want was never fulfilled. Then I realized, I don’t think I want to be just your friend. The desire of wanting something more was you. I wanted you as something higher than the friendship title. I wanted us to be more than friends. I never thought that day would come—you feeling the same as I do. I always thought it was a fragment of a dream that would never touch reality. The one I desperately waited for and held onto. It took a while, but it’s finally here, and I couldn’t be happier. 

I’m not as good with my words as you are, but I hope I conveyed everything I wanted to say to you. I know you might be waiting to read my response too, so I’ll let you off that high of anxiety now… Kim Woonhak, if you were to ever say I love you to me. My response would be simple. It would be simple and meaningful.

I love you too.

Yours truly,

(Last Name) (Name).

The bell rings. It rings the moment Woonhak finishes your letter. It’s as if it was waiting for him to do so. Like it was under a time limit controlled by him and not the other way around. All jokes aside, the timing is perfect. It’s lunch time—the only time Woonhak ever sees you during the school day. He’s rushing out of the classroom, making sure to make it out before the other students do. He’s unsure of where he’ll find you at a time like this. Your run-ins with each other are always a coincidence. 

How does one make a coincidence happen on purpose?

Well, they just do. 

Woonhak pokes his head around in random classrooms as he moves further down the school hallway. So far, there isn’t a single sight of you. He needs to see you. He needs to confirm that everything in your letter was true and not just a response to his own. 

He needs to know. 

“Woonhak?” A voice calls, flustered and confused. His consciousness returns as he makes out the sight in front of him through his glasses. It’s you, the person he was dying to see. He doesn’t even realize that he found you. He doesn’t know when he did nor does he know when he took your wrist into his hand, halting your steps.

“(Name).” He exhales. His cheeks are rosy and his chest is slowly rising up and down as soft breaths leave his lips. Woonhak doesn’t want to let go of your wrist. He doesn’t want to face the fact that you might walk away from him. 

“Did you mean everything you said in that letter?” Woonhak questions. Your gaze shifts from his face to the letter in the hand that rests at his side, then back on him. You nod. It’s true. You meant every single word that you wrote letter by letter.

You take this as a chance to ask him your own dying question. “Did you mean everything in yours?”   

“Every little bit of it.” He breathes, finally catching up to his breath completely. “If this were an exam, my answer key would have hearts instead of bubbled in letters. I like—no, love. I love you that much.”

“I don’t want to let go, I’m afraid you’ll leave.” He finishes as he glances down at his hand on your wrist. You smile and shake your head at his words.

“There’s no way I’d do that. Not after hearing what you said here, Woonhak.” You shimmy your wrist slightly out of his tight grip, enough to turn your hand and intertwine your fingers with his.

“My answer still hasn’t changed. If you were to say that you love me. I’d always reply the same. I love you too.”

He can hear his heart beating in his ears. He never thought he’d ever hear you say those words at all. Not just to him. In general. He feels overjoyed, holding back the smile that fights its way through his stunned expression.

“(Name),” Woonhak starts, gaining your attention. Your head tilts as you wait for his next words. 

“Will you be my girlfriend?” He asks. He finally asks. The question you wanted to hear finally left his mouth. 

You nod, your smile growing even wider. “Of course I will.”

The smile that Woonhak held back escapes. He’s too happy to even care about how stupidly in love he looks. It doesn’t matter to him. It doesn’t matter to you either. You’re both just happy at the fact you can finally call each other mine.

Honestly, Woonhak has learned a lot within the last week. There’s one more school day of the week with Friday being tomorrow. If there’s one thing that he’s sure about, it is his knowledge on love. Give him a test on it and he’ll ace it for sure. All thanks to you. You’re the one who taught him what he needs to know about loving someone. Something he’s never touched base on, excluding how he feels for his family. He loves them, of course he does, but he also loves you. 

He’s learned a new concept in his life. One that he wouldn’t have been able to do alone—without you. Who would’ve thought your roles would ever change?

BOYNEXTDOOR PERM TAGLIST — @ihankaji @ancnymcnzjy @ilovedallywinston @i03jae @borednia @s0shroe @leehanwish @sol3chu @en-dream @ribbeoms @itsactuallylina @himewonu @hollxe1 @r1kification @mensisim @mydearyeseo @sunghxxnie @taesanfav @wonzzziezzzz @ijustwannareadstuff20 @tanghuyuj @ranjupotato @mimimimiaa @ningizuo @hyunjinslongasslegs @jvngw0nlvr @paradiseoflosers @itsactuallylina @kukkurookkoo @monniemoody @cheruphic @kazemiya @rizzwoos @beomgyus-right-eyelash @kagatinkita @w3willris3 @jusskla @bamgeutori @athenaisonlinee @wensurr @wnouzi @soobundle1009

© RIUMORI

[bigsuki]

six half-bloods shall answer the call !

or, alternatively: boynextdoor (ot6) as demigods x gn!reader

—headcanons˖ ִֶָ🐇་༘࿐ tags/warnings: demigod/percy jackson au, fluff but leaning more towards friendship, mentions of fighting/war games/battles, mentions of stealing (riwoo's part) but its harmless/prank-related, swearing, lowercase intended — wc. 3.7k ₊˚⊹♡ a/n: im not sure if this is alrdy niche but my tiktok fyp was full of pjo/hoo content w my bnd content and i just HAD to write the guys in capture the flag so HERE IT IS!!! might as well go down the bnd as [insert dystopian ya novel i read in hs here] spiral ♡

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SUNGHO (성호)

my boy is either a son of aphrodite (bc have you SEEN him!?), son of athena, or a son of hephaestus, but after picturing him tinkering away in a workshop in a fitted white shirt and black gloves and a toolbelt around his waist, with soot smeared on his cheek... yup, son of hephaestus definitely !

with hephaestus being the god of craftsmanship and invention, sungho is obviously a master craftsman — he can forge weapons, make repairs, build ships (argo 2 + leo parallel anyone??) he's also resistant to fire and heat and can handle melted metal with his bare hands

i headcanon that bc he works with machines all day you can faintly smell smoke or metal on him no matter how much he showers

keeps a random piece of metal or cog or trinket in his pocket that he fidgets with

since he's also, like, uh built well, uh, body-wise, he's definitely the tank of the group in terms of fighting, and his weapon of choice would either be a big ahh warhammer or war-axe that he swings around with ease

spends most of his time in the forge tinkering with weapons and armor and would make the most unnecessary-but-kind-of-necessary inventions like a self-stirring campfire pot

tests out his inventions with riwoo which would usually end up in explosions and riwoo just shouting "AGAIN!"

stays up late into the night tinkering so jaehyun ends up hauling him to bed so he doesn't collapse

he can never say no to you when you randomly appear in his workshop with a crazy request — "do you think you can make me a sword that can shoot out flames" "...you're lucky i like you"

riwoo actually drags you with him every time riwoo wants something made because sungho can't say no to you

makes little trinkets for you: a stylish metal bracelet (which doubles as a tiny throwing knife), a gold necklace he made out of drachma (which doubles as a poison needle), an silver-trimmed anklet — "wait is this just a plain anklet?" "do you want me to turn it into a spike or-" "nope! i'm good!"

insists on being the only child of hephaestus to make/repair your armor bc not only does it reassure him you won't get hurt during sparring (because he spends days perfecting your armor specifically, delaying leehan's armor repairs for another week), it also turns him into a cocky little shit every time you win a war game because his armor protected you

little do you know he had engraved his initials on the inside of your breastplate (close to your heart awwe)

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RIWOO (리우)

hands down a son of hermes bc not only is he quick-witted and adaptable, i can't not associate riwoo with mischief and pranking. but since he's an introvert, he isn't part of the hermes cabin welcoming committee every time a new demigod arrives at camp

has super speed and agility which he uses to his advantage every time he does pranks. he's also terrifyingly good at stealth and lock-picking. he's also good at pick-pocketing lol even when he doesn't mean to, he'd unconsciously take something from your pocket (but would return it right away — unless he intends to prank you)

you: "hey, where'd my knife go?!"

him: "i can't believe you'd lose a knife."

you, staring at him blanky: "give it back before i kick your ass"

him: "i have no idea what you're talking about—" (pats down his pocket, pulls out your throwing knife) "oh, how'd that get there, ha ha, ha."

his attack style is literally just hit-and-run, making use of dual short swords or daggers he picked from sungho's workshop

(at some point, he also wanted weapons that would double as something else so he dragged you with him to sungho to turn his short swords into a spear. then he realized it would be too bothersome to pick up the spear after throwing it, so he settled with just the swords)

in group battles, he's the scout, running ahead to gather info. he works really well with sungho, acting as a bait for the enemies only to lead them to sungho's traps

his reputation as the chaos child at camp precedes him. he has "borrowed" everyone's dagger or drachma at some point

loves racing with fellow campers across the climbing wall (and would win every time with a cheeky grin). when he'd finally beat everyone, he'd race the pegasi much to leehan's displeasure

ofc as a prankster who takes pride in his craft, the number 1 (and 2 and 3 and 4 and 5) victim of his pranks are his friends: he'd switch jaehyun's regular arrows into sticky ones, switch out woonhak's grape soda with lime, and would sneak up on taesan just to see if he'd react

(although the last time he tried sneaking up on taesan, he was almost choked by a skeleton hand that rose from the ground)

you're relatively safe from his pranks (and by relatively, i mean you'd still occasionally lose a dagger or two)

when he's bored, he'd make use of your amazing fighting skills and dodge thrown daggers and arrows "for fun." at some point, jaehyun joins you two and "just fun" turns into "survival mode"

makes use of his super speed to steal your camp necklace just to see you chase him across the climbing wall and when you finally catch him, he grins and promises to return your necklace only if you go on a date with him

you roll your eyes and agree to the date, have your necklace returned and find his initials engraved on it beside yours

he takes you to the hermes cabin's roof — his favorite place in the entire camp bc it acts as a private lookout spot — and would share his stolen snacks and woonhak's grape soda

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JAEHYUN (재현)

this ball of sunshine is a son of apollo for sure. not only does apollo as the god of music, poetry, and light fit him perfectly, jaehyun also shines brightly as a leader. he also radiates the warmth that feels very "sun god" energy

is referred to the as the "golden boy" at camp bc, aside from being an actual son of the sun god, you swear you could see a halo around him. taesan would wear sunglasses around him because the guy literally glows

naturally great at music and healing, both figuratively and literally. he's the head healer at the camp's recovery center; he'd be humming a tune while feeding you ambrosia and both your external wounds and negative feelings would disappear

he can also summon light, even in total darkness and use it to blind enemies or guide allies

it's a no-brainer that his weapon of choice is a bow and golden arrows that also glow in sunlight. he can shoot with deadly precision

sungho tried making him a lyre that doubles as a bow but during one campfire, while feeling the song, jaehyun accidentally turns his lyre into the bow, almost raining arrows on everybody

at some point, he was banned from the archery range because he hits the bullseye every single time

during battles or war games, aside from being the designated healer, he's also the tactician. his long-range precision helps in shooting down enemies while also keeping an eye on the battlefield, giving commands and encouragement

the irritating picture of a morning person. he'd always wake up at sunrise no matter what. he's that one person who greets you way too cheerfully in the morning while everyone's just groggy

this makes his dynamic with taesan funny since its golden retriever x black cat, wherein jaehyun's all "rise and shine!" and taesan just deadpans with "i prefer the dark" but jaehyun greets him a good morning anyway!

has this natural habit of checking on everyone's injuries, big or small. you get a scratch and he's already offering to heal it

of course, you're the number one priority when he's on center duty. even if other campers arrive before you, when he sees you walk in with a cut on your arm, he'd bound to you right away, ambrosia and nectar in hand and a worried look on his face — "i'm okay jaehyun, it's just a scratch. you should see other patients" he's already dragging you to an empty cot "i don't see other patients"

(the other camper with a sprained ankle: "am i a joke to you")

bc he's banned at the archery range during training, you'd find him practicing alone at sunrise instead. one time, he offers to "teach you" and ends up brushing your hands while he corrects your stance (ok now picture the sunlight just painting jaehyun's face as he leans close and you make eye contact and he gets flustered shgjdhj hallelujah !)

writes little poems for you but pretends they're "just lyrics." he'd sing love songs during campfires, thinking he's being lowkey about his crush on you (he isn't)

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TAESAN (태산)

he's either a son of hades or a son of ares but i ultimately see him a son of hades because he has a very introspective vibe that screams "child of hades" but like not in a brooding way. more like he's thoughtful and has a quiet intensity (plus the image of him summoning an army of the undead while looking nonchalant about it is so attractive for no reason!!!)

aside from summoning skeletons, he can also summon shadows and shadow travel in short distances and limited geokinesis, causing the ground to shake when he summons his skeleton warriors

has a hellhound for a pet (mrs. o'leary for the pjo fans!) that can shadow travel with him. imagine a puppy cerberus that follows taesan around and would chew on his skeleton warriors' femurs

weapon of choice is a stygian iron sword which absorbs energy from his enemies

he's kind of like a specialist during battles and would work alongside riwoo. so while riwoo's darting across fields to gather intel, taesan would act as an emergency exit, pulling riwoo into the shadows with him to shadow travel them back to safety.

he's also an intimidator, choosing to lurk in the shadows instead of in the frontlines. but when he steps in, it's utter devastation. he's also the best at fighting mobs since he can summon a mob of his own

since he likes keeping to himself, you'd usually find him sitting under a tree, sketching in a notebook or meditating with shadows curling faintly around him

aside from his pet hellhound, other animals also seem to gravitate near him especially crows and stray black dogs. they'd follow him around camp but he doesn't talk about it

he's also not super into camp activities but when jaehyun convinces him to join capture the flag, he becomes terrifyingly excited (and his team always wins when he participates so jaehyun actively drags him. of course, taesan only ever participates in camp activities when you're on the same team)

has an affinity to flower fields, but only when you're there (so would that mean he has an affinity towards you? hmm). he claims its because the flower fields are usually quiet and it helps him think

despite trying to maintain a peaceful space, he would be unwittingly dragged into chaos by riwoo and woonhak.

woonhak loves making fun of taesan's ominous and intimidating aura, with taesan emerging from the shadows being all "leave or else" and woonhak going "ooo spooky"

similarly, riwoo would challenge little cerberus to race (after beating leehan's pegasi). when taesan sees his pet losing, he'd summon a skeleton hand to trip riwoo (he'd deny his involvement afterwards)

on the other hand, his dynamic with leehan is unexpectedly peaceful since still waters + dark depths

(of course that was until leehan wanted to test out if taesan can shadow travel from land to the darkest depths of the camp lake. he can, until leehan had to force him back because taesan somehow attracted deep-sea carnivorous fishes)

now you're definitely his favorite person (which you wear with a badge of honor after he said you were "less annoying" than everyone else). he'd let you sit with him in silence while he's sketching under the tree, all while his shadows curl around you protectively while you nap

puppy cerberus adores you!! taesan isn't sure if he's jealous of you because his pet clearly loves you more, or if he's jealous of his pet because you give him kisses....

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LEEHAN (이한)

so i was halfway through making him a son of aphrodite then i realized DUH he's a son of poseidon why did i ever think otherwise (though i still headcanon leehan as that one aphrodite kid who looks perfect even after a battle). anyway !

as a son of poseidon (and percy jackson's brother lol), naturally his powers involve hydrokinesis. he can also breathe underwater and communicate with sea creatures (now imagine irl leehan being able to talk to his fish friends im SOFT) as well as horses and pegasi

he also has earthshaker powers when he gets mad, which isn't often but when he does, he can crack the ground in two

since he's essentially percy, leehan's weapon is a celestial bronze trident, which he uses both in close combat and when channeling waves

because he can both be on offense (by knocking enemies with blasts of water) and on defense (summoning currents and using them as protective walls), he's considered both a frontline fighter and a defender

with his natural affinity to water, you'd always find him at the lake swimming laps. his fish friends would follow him around in the water like little bodyguards

has a pet pegasus with a bad attitude towards everyone except leehan (and you). when riwoo raced against his pegasi and won, leehan "accidentally" sent a current to capsize riwoo's boat during a camp lake activity

during breakfast, his hair is always damp from swimming. during one particularly uneventful morning, riwoo tried running circles around him in an attempt to dry off his hair

gets caught up in riwoo's mischief all the time!! riwoo tries to rope him into bets and games but then leehan wins without much effort and it frustrates riwoo like crazy

"bet you can't skip that stone five times" then leehan ends up skipping the stone seven times. riwoo: "ok show-off"

leehan finds the most random things underwater. when he discovered a sunken ship a loooong way from the camp shore, he scavenged for metal parts to bring back to sungho, to which the son of hephaestus happily accepted (and ended up working into the night. leehan then received and earful from jaehyun, both from leaving camp grounds — or waters? — and for fueling sungho's late night projects)

as thanks (and out of guilt) sungho upgrades his trident into one that can double as a sword and can switch into a ballpen (riptide!!)

loves taking you underwater with him and introduces you to his sea creature friends despite being unable to talk to them like he can. you'd get surprised though when leehan suddenly reddens while talking with the fishes, not knowing that they were teasing him

"is this your mate? are you going to make eggs?" "ok first of all—"

can i also just say remember that one scene in moa where annabeth tosses her dagger to signal percy, who's underwater, for enemies?? OK SO NOW IMAGINE YOU AND LEEHAN?

"surrender your weapons!" you, tossing your dagger at sea: "oops!" your enemies look at you in bewilderment bc wtf? then leehan just pops out of the water riding a cyclone, holding the dagger to give to you and says with a complete poker-face "you dropped this" then straight up ANNIHILATES your enemies with a column of water to their faces

(this entire headcanon is just leehan = percy = greenest flag in all of fiction history)

(rides off into the sunset on pegasi)

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WOONHAK (운학)

i also see him as a son of hermes with riwoo but after much deliberation i figured he also fits as a son of dionysus since dionysus is also the god of festivity and joy (and chaos) which matches woonhak's energy. anywho !

woonhak is the moodmaker of the entire camp since he radiates that aura of festivity. and since dionysus is also related to "madness" or "craziness," woonhak is immune to such effects. instead, he's the one controlling the madness, making people loosen up or act sillier

he also manipulates vines bc duh his godly parent is the god of wine. HOWEVER, unlike dionysus, woonhak is obsessed with grape soda — chugs it, hoards it, converts it into air so he can inhale it if he could (to which he begged sungho to make an evaporator, again contributing to the latter's late night projects and again receiving an earful from jaehyun)

his weapon of choice during battles is a thyrsus staff, a pinecone-tipped staff that's historically used for rituals and ceremonies but of course, sungho tweaked it into something that can serve as an extension of woonhak's vines

similar to taesan, woonhak is a crowd controller, utilizing his vines to trip enemies, make plants burst from the ground, and to induce confusion so his enemies fight each other, which turns the tide of the battle

like riwoo, he's chaos personified both on and off the battlefield

he's everyone's hypeman, always cheering the loudest during battles or campfires

like riwoo (again), he loves using his plant powers for the dumbest shit like making vines to trip riwoo mid-race, making vine circles around taesan when he's sketching by the tree, tossing people into the lake by the leg ultimately harassing leehan who's peacefully meditating underwater

his dynamic with riwoo is everything honestly. you'd think the dumb shit riwoo does are his ideas? oh no, woonhak is the one suggesting them ("what if we raced leehan's pegasi through the forest?") and of course with his moodmaking powers and riwoo's natural affinity to mischief, they're the ultimate chaos duo, much to jaehyun's distress

constantly sneaks grape soda and chips into the cabin even if it isn't allowed

when he isn't part of the war games, you'd find him cheering in the stands for the winning team (usually the team where you and his friends were) but on the rare moments your team is on the brink of losing, woonhak easily switches up to hype for the other team lmao

his laugher (or any strong emotion really) can trigger random bursts of plant growth nearby. this happens more frequently with you around (you're essentially contributing to reforestation solely by existing around woonhak, good job!)

you're also the only one who can calm him down, or at least bring his energy levels to a peaceful hum

˚❀　.　˚　　✦　　✿　.　˚　. 　 ˚　✿.　˚　　❀ .　

OT6 (보이넥스트도어)

THE WOODS WERE alive with shouts, footsteps, and the occasional burst of magic colliding with magic. Capture the Flag at Camp Half-Blood was never just a game. It was a battle dressed up as fun.

You crouched behind a tree, gripping your celestial bronze sword. You eyed the enemies' flag as it fluttered with the breeze. A gang of campers guarded it, looking way too eager to tackle anyone who came too close.

"Alright, listen up," Jaehyun whispered, appearing at your side in a shimmer of golden sunlight. "I'll draw their eyes."

From above, Riwoo dropped down, landing in a crouch. The smirk on his face made you wonder if he already had multiple tricks at the ready. "I'll zip through and mess with their footing."

"Woonhak and I can make chaos," Taesan said from behind. One of the shadows by his ankles curled around you in a protective way. At his side, Woonhak grinned widely, twirling his staff already covered in vines.

"Chaos is my specialty!"

Leehan stepped forward, brushing dirt from his shirt. The ground trembled faintly as a small stream surged nearby. "I'll cover you when you move. Just signal me."

And lastly, Sungho tightened the straps of your armor. With a knowing look, he slipped something into your pocket. "When you're within range, click it. Just like we practiced."

"Focus on the flag. We'll hold the line." Jaehyun nudged your shoulder with his, beaming confidently.

"Got it."

The plan unfolded in seconds.

Jaehyun jumped into the open, sunlight exploding around him in a blind flare. The guards cried out, shielding their eyes. Without hesitation, Riwoo then darted out faster than the eyes could follow, dagger flicking as he tripped one camper and slapped the other one the back just to cause confusion.

From the shadows, Taesan surged forward with an open palm. Skeleton hands burst from the earth, grabbing ankles and pining enemies down. Woonhak followed, yelling out "It's party time!" as his vines whipped around weapons and yanked them to the ground. "Oopsie-daisy!"

Sungho joined the fray, forcing the enemy line back with his warhammer. His hands glowed, conducting heat across his weapon, inflicting minor burns here as another form of distraction.

Then Leehan's voice cut through the chaos. "Now!"

The stream beside him surged up, curling into a wave that swept across the battlefield.

You ran.

Leaping across the field, you made it to the bottom of the hill where the flag was perched. Sungho's words rang in your ears. Just like you practiced.

You took out the pen and clicked it. Within seconds, the pen elongated into a long whip, its weight familiar in your hands. With a single flick, the whip surged forward, wrapping around the flag pole, and you pulled.

The flag flew in the air and into your hands. "I got it!"

Cheers erupted instantly. Without warning, you felt yourself being lifted up in the air by a set of vines and twirled around. Woonhak and Riwoo cheered from below. Jaehyun whooped, loosing an arrow into the air that burst into golden sparks. Taesan and Leehan shared satisfied grins, and Sungho clapped your back when you were eventually lowered to the ground.

The conch horn blew across camp, declaring your team the winners, but honestly... With them having your back and cheering you on, you'd already won.

[bigsuki]

HIIII~~

you write so so beautifully please never stop omg 😭 adding you to my fav blogs list 🥹

OH MY GOODNESS YOU’RE TOO KIND THANK YOU SO MUCH I’M GONNA CRY ☹️☹️☹️🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼

[bigsuki]

— Ingmar Bergman, from a letter to Liv Ullmann (via lunamonchtuna)

[bigsuki]

waist snatched © hantsoz

[bigsuki]

TRAPPED INSIDE THE AIRCRAFT OF DOOM AND GLOOM, BUT AT LEAST I’VE GOT MY BEST FRIEND…RIGHT? | Han Dongmin

pairings — boynextdoor’s Taesan x reader (LADS au)

genre — romance, angst, best friends to..well..still best friends (WC. 1.7k)

warnings — reader gets hurt, mention of blood, as well as yandere-tendencies from a certain best friend

note — was i happy with how this turned out? eh..not really.. but idk what else to put so i’ll just post this anyways TT I LOVE CALEB THO OMFG I JUST GOT HIS SUMMER CARD!!!

more works: navigation | bnd!masterlist

YOU’VE HEARD THE WARNINGS BEFORE.

Taesan doesn’t have to repeat them, but of course he does. One hand steady on the controls of the aircraft, he throws you a look colder than the expanse outside the viewport.

“This wasn’t supposed to be your mission.”

“And yet,” you say, plopping into the co-pilot’s seat like you belong there, “here I am. Mission-ing.”

His sigh could probably knock out the main engine. He doesn’t argue—not really. He never does with you. Taesan, the so-called unflappable pilot, veteran of impossible fights, man returned from the dead with rumors stitched into his shadow… folds the moment you insist.

You call it charm. He calls it “being raised wrong.”

Still, he doesn’t push you out the hatch. Which means you’ve already won.

The cockpit hums, filled with the pulse of systems stabilizing as the aircraft climbs higher into the black. Out there, the void ripples faintly—deepspace currents that chew up weaker pilots and spit them out.

“Don’t touch anything,” he says flatly.

You wiggle your fingers an inch from the navigation panel. “What if I want to touch something?”

His jaw flexes. “You won’t.”

“Because you’ll stop me?”

“Because you know better,” he mutters, flicking switches with precision, “or at least, I thought you did.”

You grin. You live for the cracks in his armor, those fleeting moments when his mask slips. If he were just a stoic wall, you’d have given up long ago. But beneath that clipped tone and those sharp eyes, there’s always something soft—something he reserves only for you.

The silence stretches after that. Not uncomfortable, but charged. Outside, the stars blur into long streaks, then fragment back into pinpricks. Your ears pop slightly as the craft adjusts to the deepspace route.

You glance sideways. He’s locked in, eyes scanning readings, posture taut. Even now, back from the dead, scarred by whatever place held him, he flies like it’s the only thing tethering him here.

“You know,” you say after a while, “if you didn’t want me here, you could’ve just said no.”

“I did say no.”

“Yeah, but not like you meant it.”

His knuckles tighten on the controls. “…Don’t test me.”

…

The first jolt is small. Just a ripple through the hull. Enough to make you blink and glance up.

“Normal?” you ask.

Taesan doesn’t answer right away. His brow furrows, fingers dancing over diagnostics. “Not normal.”

The second jolt is worse. The cabin lights flicker, panels hiss, and the floor trembles beneath your boots. You yelp, grabbing the edge of your seat.

“Stay still.” His voice is low, command cutting through the chaos.

“I am still!” you shoot back, even as the aircraft lurches violently to the left. A spark bursts from the upper console, close enough that you flinch away instinctively.

Your temple clips the side of the seat. Just a scrape, barely more than a sting, but blood beads quickly where skin splits.

Taesan sees it instantly.

He curses under his breath, slamming the comms open with one hand while the other steadies the ship. His words to control are curt, sharp—coordinates, damage reports, interference details. The system sputters with static, barely confirming receipt of his distress call before the channel fractures.

Backup is coming. Eventually.

But right now, you’re stuck. The engines idle, the hull hums ominously, and Taesan—usually unshakable—is breathing like he’s two seconds from tearing the control panel apart with his bare hands.

You touch your forehead gingerly, wincing at the tacky feel of blood. “…It’s nothing. Really.”

That’s the wrong thing to say.

He spins on you so fast the air seems to shift. His hand closes around your wrist, dragging your arm down so he can see the wound clearly. His grip is too tight, his eyes blazing with something far sharper than his usual restraint.

“Nothing?” His voice is ice—and fire beneath it. “You think this is nothing?”

“It’s a scratch—”

“Don’t.” The word cuts through, low and dangerous. His thumb trembles against your pulse as though he’s holding back more than he can say. “Do you understand what could’ve happened? A second more—one more hit—and I could’ve…”

He stops himself, chest heaving. The control he wears like a second skin fractures, jagged edges glinting in the dim light.

For a moment, you don’t recognize him. This isn’t your calm, collected best friend. This is someone darker, someone dragged back from death with too much to lose.

His voice drops, harsh and shaking at once:

“If anything worse happened to you, I’d tear this whole void apart. I’d rip through the stars with my bare hands until I got you back.”

The words hang heavy in the cockpit.

The silence after his words feels heavier than the void pressing against the glass.

You’re still caught in his grip, his thumb pressed over your pulse as if he’s checking to make sure it hasn’t disappeared. His eyes are wild in a way you’ve never seen, like he’s standing at the edge of something too dark to crawl back from.

“…Taesan,” you whisper, because anything louder might break him completely.

It works. His chest rises once, sharply, then he blinks and the mask slides back on. The pilot. The soldier. Your best friend.

Except not—not completely. There are cracks now. And through them, you glimpse just how badly he’d unravel if you ever slipped beyond his reach again.

He releases your wrist with deliberate care, like he’s afraid of leaving a bruise. His hands—those steady, lethal hands—hover uncertainly for a second before he forces them to move, digging into the medkit stashed beneath the console.

“Sit still,” he orders, voice lower now, steadier, but still laced with something sharp.

You roll your eyes, because if you don’t joke, you’ll think too hard about what he just said. “That seems to be the theme of the day.”

The look he shoots you is sharp enough to cut steel. But he doesn’t snap back. Instead, he kneels by your chair and tilts your chin carefully, pressing a sterile pad to your temple. His fingers brush your skin, firm and shaking all at once.

“Hold it,” he mutters.

You obey, biting back a smile. For someone so terrifying in the cockpit, Taesan’s bedside manner is… let’s say unique.

The ship groans faintly around you, the systems idling in semi-shutdown. Red indicators blink on the dash, an ever-present reminder that you’re stranded.

“How long?” you ask quietly.

“Four hours. Maybe less if backup isn’t useless.” He says it without looking up, his focus narrowed to the antiseptic and the neat line of tape sealing your wound.

Four hours. Alone with him. In a floating coffin of steel and silence.

You should be nervous. Maybe you are. But you’re also oddly calm—like some part of you trusts that as long as Taesan is here, nothing can touch you.

When he finally leans back, satisfied with his work, you flash a grin. “See? Good as new.”

His jaw tightens. “Stop joking.”

“It’s just—”

“Stop.” His voice cracks, barely audible. His gaze drops, and for once he can’t seem to look at you. “Don’t make light of it. Not when I…”

He trails off, but you hear the unsaid words. Not when I already lost you once. Not when I can’t—won’t—go through that again.

Your chest aches. You want to reach for him, to ease the weight he carries, but you settle for leaning back in your seat, letting your tone soften. “Okay. No jokes.”

Time drips by in fragments. The stars outside pulse like distant heartbeats.

Taesan stays at the controls, checking and re-checking systems, though the comms already promised help was on the way. His eyes flick to you every few minutes, sharp and restless.

Eventually, you get bored of the silence. “You’re staring.”

He doesn’t deny it. “You’re hurt.”

“It’s a scratch,” you insist gently, and when his lips part in protest, you cut him off, “And I’m still here. With you. Isn’t that enough?”

For a long moment, he doesn’t respond. Then, finally, he exhales—a low sound, like the fight’s been wrung out of him.

“…Don’t do that again,” he says. “Don’t insist on following me where you shouldn’t. Don’t put yourself in my hands if you don’t understand what that means.”

Your pulse jumps. His tone is calm, almost soft, but the words land heavy, weighted with something dangerous.

At some point, exhaustion tugs at your eyelids. The hum of the idle engines lulls you, the glow of the cabin lights a dim cocoon. You shift in the co-pilot seat, your head dipping against the side panel.

“You should sleep,” Taesan murmurs.

“You too,” you mumble.

“I can’t.”

You’re too tired to argue. Too tired to see the way his eyes soften when you finally let go.

…

When he’s sure you’re asleep, he moves. Quiet, careful—pulling the emergency blanket from storage, tucking it around your shoulders. His fingers linger for a fraction too long at your temple, brushing a stray strand of hair away from the bandage.

He leans back, watching your chest rise and fall. The only sound is the faint rattle of machinery, the endless silence of space pressing in from all sides.

And in that stillness, he lets the words slip, raw and unfiltered.

“Don’t ever leave my sight again.” His voice is almost a vow, low and unshakable. “Not in this life. Not in any.”

He leans forward, resting his forehead against the edge of your seat, just close enough that he could reach for your hand if he wanted to.

“They can take the engines. The wings. Even me.” His throat works, swallowing something dark. “But not you. Never you.”

Outside, the stars burn cold and distant. Inside, Taesan sits vigil, unblinking.

Waiting. Guarding.

Possessive to his bones.

And when backup finally arrives hours later, they’ll find him exactly as he is now—your best friend, your pilot, your shadow returned from death—watching over you as if the universe itself would have to break before he let you go.

TAGLIST: @ja4hyvn @flwoie @sulkygyu @xiaoderrrr @ineedaherosavemeenow @teddywonss @taerae-verse @bbangbies @cherryblossomlovesblog @ocemias @voucearse @ivxae

NETWORKS: @onedoornet @k-films @k-labels

© astrae4 2025 — please don't copy, translate, or plagiarize my works on all platforms!

[bigsuki]

THANKS FOR REPOSTING <333 I LOVE UR FICS TOOOOO

OMG HIII YES OF COURSE YOUR FICS ARE SO CUTE 🥹🥹🥹 i followed you back on my main blog @orbitsofyours yesterday i hate that i can’t follow anyone on this blog ☹️☹️ but TRUST i will be reading all your fics very soon!! <3

[bigsuki]

JAZZ BANDS AND HOLDING HANDS ₊˚⊹☆ 

➤ people walked in and out of the bar all the time, but one had a smile you couldn’t forget – and before you knew it, he was all you could think about. 

♯. woonhak x f.reader, fluff, 1.6k +mentions of going to bars 

𝄢. i genuinely loooove writing for woonhak its so fun (..◜ᴗ◝..) 

THE SOUND OF CLINKING GLASSES FILLED THE BAR, as woonhak, the youngest of the friend group, was finally old enough to drink. a chorus of cheers erupted as everyone celebrated the occasion, taking swigs of their champagne. 

“i can’t believe you’re an adult now, woonie.” jaehyun cooed. “now all we have to do is find you a girl, hm?” he gave woonhak a quick pinch of the cheek, shooting him a sly grin. 

sungho gave jaehyun a nudge, reminding him that woonhak was still a baby at heart. “you don’t have to, woonhak. don’t rush it.” 

but woonhak already had his eyes set on someone. 

more under the cut! 

YOU WENT TO WET A RAG UNDER THE SINK, slashing it over the counter, wiping off any spilled drinks. the band had already gone, meaning there was only an hour left. usually, now would be the time where you just sat behind the bartop, enjoying the music that played softly through the speakers, but today someone was standing by the counter. 

“hey, what can i get you?” you asked, greeting him with a warm smile. 

he looked around your age, maybe a little older, but nonetheless, very cute. 

“oh, nothing really.” a small, slightly awkward, chuckle left his mouth. “i was just curious; you look… young, and you work at a bar?” he tilted his head, eyebrows knitting together. 

now it was your turn to laugh. “ah,” you giggled, “i get that a lot.” you spotted a small drop of water on the tabletop and quickly wiped it away before continuing. “well, the bar’s my family’s, so i like to work here for fun, y’know? just to help out a bit.” 

“oh! how long have you been doing this?” the boy seemed interested in it, like he might just join you too. 

“since i was sixteen, but i was only really serving drinks to tables then.” 

you didn’t know him, he didn’t know you, but your conversation came so naturally. there were no uncomfortable pauses or tense moments, it was just continuous conversation. until his friends pulled him away, at least. 

“ten until closing, woonhak.” one of his friends called, wrapping his arm around his shoulder. 

even you hadn’t noticed that time had run this long. you looked up at the clock hanging on the wall: 12:50am. there really only were ten minutes left. 

“sorry for keeping you so long,” you apologized, giving him a shallow bow. 

“oh, it’s no problem.” his charming smile was on display, and you were falling for it. “i’ll come back soon.” he waved goodbye before slipping back to his table of friends. 

was it bad to say that part of you already liked him? maybe. but something about him felt so easy – the way he just appeared in front of you, the way you spoke with him so simply – it was like he was meant to meet you. 

HE MEANT IT WHEN HE SAID HE SAID HE’D COME BACK SOON, because barely a week later, you met him again. but this time, it wasn’t during work hours. 

you were walking out of the bar, craving a fresh breath of air, when you spotted a familiar smile. the same smile that you couldn’t stop thinking about since you first saw it. 

and before you knew it, someone was tapping your shoulder. 

“i caught you off work this time.” he laughed, his eyes turning into crescents. 

you laughed with him, “yeah, not in the uniform.” 

“hey um, if you’re free, do you wanna continue chatting?” his voice had a slight tone of nervousness, but to prevail, you said yes. 

THE TWO OF YOU ENDED UP IN THE PARK, sitting on the swings while talking about your lives, just getting to know each other. 

“the bar, is it fun to work there?” he asked, dragging his feet to slow down his swing. 

“yeah, totally!” you nodded eagerly. “even when it’s empty, it’s nice just listening to the bands play.” you said, imagining the music. “i really like the jazz band, they’re my favourite.” 

instead of an answer, or a small nod, he was just… staring. 

at you. 

it wasn’t a rude stare, it was more like a loving one, one you gave someone you adored. his eyes glistened in the dim sunset, they were warm, like he had found someone he truly loved. 

and now, it wasn’t just the smile you couldn’t get out of your head, it was his eyes. 

IT HAD BEEN HOURS SINCE WOONHAK DROPPED YOU OFF, yet here you were, laying in your bed, still thinking about him. 

you couldn’t stop thinking about him. not just his smile, not just his eyes, but him. kim woonhak. 

thinking back to when you properly introduced yourselves, and he had called it a pretty name, that it suited you, did it mean anything, or were you just reaching for what you wanted? 

clearly it had eaten you whole; you couldn’t go to sleep. you were just sitting blankly on your bed, thinking about all the interactions you’ve had with woonhak, reminiscing like he was a vague memory. 

WEEKS PASSED, and you still couldn’t get him out of your head. what was worse was that he had come to the bar a few more times in the past week, giving you more time to spend with him, meaning there were more things for you to contemplate. 

woonhak started to call you ‘pretty’ more often, or compliment you more in general. he’d sneak his arm around your shoulder when you’d walk together, showing you off like you were his girlfriend – just things you got to think about late at night. 

the more you thought about it, the more you overthought it, dissecting every small thing he said. but was it really overanalyzing when what he was saying was so… flirty? they were the sort of things people in relationships said to each other, not friends who met through a bar. 

maybe it was just his way of showing love, even if it did feel like more. 

ANOTHER LATE NIGHT SPENT IN THE BAR, drying cups, washing cocktail shakers, just doing anything, really. you didn’t have to do this, but you wanted to. woonhak was in your head, and you needed to clear your mind, so you resorted to cleaning up the bar. 

you were taking in the music, letting your eyes zone out, when a soft knocking on the window shook you out of it. at moments like this, you’d be scared. why would someone be tapping on the windows of a bar this late? but when you looked up, it was him. 

woonhak. 

he was standing out there, a sheepish smile on his face. you got up to undo the locks, ushering him in. 

“what’re you doing out so late?” you asked, patting the chair beside yours. it was basically pitch black outside, woonhak, or anyone, shouldn’t be strolling so freely at this time. 

“just needed a late night walk, y’know?” he said, sitting down next to you. “why’re you up so late? and working in the bar?” little did he know it was because of him. 

“i couldn’t sleep,” you shrugged. “so i just cleaned up a bit.” 

the music in the background filled the empty silence. it felt tense, like there were unspoken words between you two and you both knew it. but you didn’t know exactly what it was. 

“i remember you telling me you like jazz music.” woonhak said, breaking the silence. 

“you remember? i told you that ages ago.” it had been months since you told him that. it was just a small thing, nothing big or important, yet he remembered. 

“i remember everything you tell me, y/n.” 

and just like that, everything felt still. his gaze on you, the air, the music faded into the background. it was like everything froze for you and woonhak, staring at the two of you. 

his lips parted like he wanted to speak, but it took him a second. when he did, his voice was quieter, more careful. 

“i notice all these little things about you, like how you tap your fingers when you’re thinking, or how you pretend not to care when someone compliments you, but your ears go red. and the way you always remember everyone else’s favorite things.” 

he took a deep breath. his hands were shoved in his jacket pockets now, but his shoulders were tense, like he was bracing for something. 

“i guess what i’m trying to say is… i like you, y/n. i’ve been scared to tell you because i didn’t want to lose what we had, but i couldn’t keep pretending anymore. especially not when every time i look at you, my feelings grow stronger.” 

his voice softens on the last word. his eyes meet yours again – open, hopeful, but also a little afraid of what your response would be. 

but there was no need to worry. 

you pressed your lips to his, closing in the space between you two. you ran your hand through his hair, carding between strands. his hands fell to your waist, holding you tightly. his lips were soft against yours, moving at the same pace as you, not rushing it. 

when you pulled away from him, your heart was pounding in your chest. you could feel woonhak’s breath fanning over your cheek. 

“so…” he said, voice still low. “i’ll take that as you like me back?” a small grin on his face. 

“yeah,” you nodded, smiling back at him. 

no more words were shared, but woonhak slipped his hand into yours, lacing his fingers between yours, telling you everything you needed to hear. 

you’d spent nights in the bar, watching romances unfold – but this time it was yours. 

perm taglist. @jellyouse 

bnd taglist. @beomev

[bigsuki]

WHEN YOU GIVE THEM YOUR HAND FOR NO REASON, BOYNEXTDOOR WILL…

pairings — boynextdoor x reader

genre — fluff, slice of life

warnings — none

more works: navigation | bnd!masterlist

MYUNG JAEHYUN will put his face on your palm, a teasing smile on his face as he gives you an overly sweet expression that has you cringing on the outside and feeling flustered on the inside.

“What? Isn’t this what you want?” He’d ask coyly, feigning innocence even though he knows your answer. Of course this puppy would do that, you should’ve known…

PARK SUNGHO would hold your hand hesitantly, just to make sure that’s what you want because he’s confused with the gesture when no words accompany it. When he gets the A-ok, however, he smiles, happy at his small win in guessing your wants correctly.

“Just take my hand next time, babe, no need to ask.” He’d suggest. You shrug, before leaning your weight onto his wide frame lovingly.

LEE SANGHYEOK will hand you whatever’s on his busy hand, no matter what it’d be. His phone, keychain, $7 matcha latte…heck, he’d hand you his bag thinking you needed something in it. When you give him a confused look, he’d give you a 😕? look, before taking his item back…

“Huh? Didn’t you ask for my drink?” He questions. You’d have to explain further if you wanted something else, guys…but at least you know he loves you enough to let you sip on his overpriced drink!

HAN DONGMIN will hand you his credit card. There’s not even a single hesitance as he takes his card from his wallet and hands it to you. “Babe, that’s not…” you started, trying to explain to him how you wanted to just hold hands.

Taesan, without missing a beat, responds: “I saw you eyeing that jacket just now, don’t lie.” Well, safe to say you ended the day with both your hands interlocked and shopping bags held.

KIM DONGHYUN will take your hands gently in his, before turning it palm-side up and giving it a soft peck, affectionate and gentle. Your heart flutters. The birds are singing and the flowers are dancing—

“ACK!” You let out, because Leehan decided to ruin the moment and bite your finger. He gives you a sheepish look, before running off and away from you as fast as he can.

KIM WOONHAK will take your hands in his with the enthusiasm of a sugar-rushed kindergartener, intertwining them sweetly before swinging them around as you walk to the corner store. People give you both looks, but he couldn’t care less. He’s proud to be beside you and he will show him off!

“What? Don’t tell me you’re embarrassed? HAHAHA!” He laughs like a maniac, before swinging your arms with a bigger, more dramatic swoop.

TAGLIST: @ja4hyvn @flwoie @sulkygyu @xiaoderrrr @ineedaherosavemeenow @teddywonss @taerae-verse @bbangbies @cherryblossomlovesblog

NETWORKS: @onedoornet @k-films @k-labels

© astrae4 2025 — please don't copy, translate, or plagiarize my works on all platforms!

[bigsuki]

— BND & what they would do for love ☆

480 words • fluff. feedback + reblogs are highly appreciated.

Sungho (박성호)

«I would fight the whole world for you.» — That’s what Sungho tells you when you feel like you don’t belong, when you’re excluded, looked over, or treated unfairly. He never lets you feel alone in it. He’ll glare at anyone who makes you feel less than you are, ready to take on the world if it meant protecting you. No matter how small or big the hurt, Sungho is your shield—and he means every word.

⋆°｡⋆

Riwoo (이상혁)

«I would carry your pain if I could.» — He says that while wiping your tears away, the softest hand brushing your cheek. You’ve been crying, overwhelmed by life, and Riwoo listens to every word like it’s the only thing that matters. His eyes get misty too, because when you hurt, he hurts more. But if he could take it all away—even just for a moment—he would do it without thinking.

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Jaehyun (명재현)

«I would bring you the moon if you asked.» — That’s what Jaehyun says when you tell him you feel like asking too much. Spoiling you comes natural to him, and when people say he’s over the top, he just shrugs. Your joy is everything, and he’d do the impossible just to see you smile. So no, he’s not joking—he’d really find a way to bring you the moon if it meant making you happy.

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Taesan (한태산)

«I would kill for you—and hide the body.» — You laugh when he says that, but Taesan isn’t entirely kidding. Your ex won’t stop bothering you, and it drives him insane. Jealousy isn’t the word—he’s protective, fiercely so. But then he chuckles, pulling you into his chest. «Seriously though, if anyone ever hurts you… they’ll have to deal with me.» And with Taesan, you know you’re safe.

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Leehan (김이한)

«I would burn the world just to keep you warm.» — He says it with all the calm in the world, but you know he means it. You’ve always felt a little misplaced—never fully seen, always a bit out of place. But Leehan? He sees you, completely. He holds your hands and whispers that you’re not alone, not with him there. Because for you, he’d flip the world upside down and still smile while doing it.

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Woonhak (김운학)

«I would give up everything, as long as I have you.» — He says it during a late-night talk, voice shaky but sure. His dreams are big, his heart even bigger—but nothing compares to you. If he had to choose between fame and your love, he wouldn’t hesitate. Your presence is his peace, his goal, his everything. Whatever the cost, he’s willing. And you believe him—because love makes him fearless.

© ddingdd0ngz

[bigsuki]

a time to remember — 보이넥스트도어

# sypnosis : memorable moments shared with each bonedo member

⊹ genre : fluff , no warning

# pairings : ot6 boynextdoor x gn!reader

⊹ authors note : first bnd post on the blog whoop whoop

myung jaehyun (명재현) — lucky charm

he could never forget the first time you came to one of his soccer games. some may find it “embarrassing” for someone to chant their name as they’re holding a sign with your face plastered onto it. but jaehyun? seeing you in the bleachers being his own personal cheerleader; gave him the biggest boost of confidence. feeling proud of himself everytime he made a goal—immediately looking your way to see the smile he’s always loved. after winning, he dedicated his team’s victory to you.

the entire soccer team went off to celebrate their hard earned victory with ice cream, but the two of you chose to stay behind. standing in the middle of the soon-to-be dark soccer field, kicking the ball back and forth to each other, enjoying the comfortable silence.

“you know.. our team hasn’t been able to actually win a game in a while,” you turned to look up at him, “you might just be our lucky-charm.” he couldn’t help but cringe after saying that, avoiding your gaze. “hm.. is that so?” you teased with a smug smile across your face, before roughly kicking the ball right at him.

he looked up at you with a shocked face before roughly kicking the ball back at you, and somehow this turned into a mini soccer match. even though it was slowly turning pitch black outside, and you haven’t played soccer a day in your life. that didn’t really matter since the two of you practically dropped the game and it was just him chasing you. sharing laughters as the the two of you ran around the soccer field. he soon caught up to you wrapping his arms around your waist. trying to contain your giggles, he placed a quick kiss before whispering.

“i win.”

park sungho (박성호) — cafe dates

before you dated, sungho had a habit of going to every café he could find. tasting the food, seeing how sweet or bitter the coffee was, and the customer service. it all had to be perfect to him. as the time progressed you noticed his habit so you involuntarily invited yourself to his café runs. he was opposed to it at first, but knowing you.. that wouldn’t really stop you. and that’s how the two of you found yourselves going from café to café on your free time.

this time, he brought you to a charming little café tucked away on a tree-lined street. as you stepped inside, the inviting atmosphere embraced you like a cozy blanket, making you feel right at home. soft, golden light filtered through the large windows, illuminating the rustic wooden tables and mismatched vintage chairs that gave the space an intimate vibe.

the aroma of freshly brewed coffee filled the air, awakening your senses. when the barista served your cappuccino, it was a work of art, with delicate latte art swirling on the surface. you obviously couldn’t resist trying a flaky croissant, still warm from the oven. with every bite, you felt as though you were transported to a little slice of heaven. sungho couldn’t help but smile watching you truly enjoy the place he’s taken you to. just like he’d hope you would.

“you know… y/n do you know why i go to all of these cafés?” he broke the silence, fidgeting with his hands. “to live your dream as a food critic?” you snickered before he shook his head ‘no’. “it’s to get the perfect place to finally ask you out on.” sungho sighed at his confession coming out like this. you looked up at him with a puzzled look on your face which soon melted into a soft smile. taking his hand that rested on the table, “it’s perfect”.

lee sanghyeok (이상혁) (riwoo) — babysitting

it was time for you and riwoo’s date night, but it all came crashing down when he received a text from his mother. basically stating that she had nobody to watch his little brother while she had to attend an important event. he glanced over at you getting ready and felt horrible for having to drop your date to babysit. surprisingly you took the news pretty well and even accompanied him to his house.

“If it means I don’t have to wear these god awful heels any longer, then I’m totally fine.” you chuckled, trying to bring light to the situation. the two of you got into his car and as he was driving you felt a strong pit in your stomach. realizing that this would be the first time you’d be in the house riwoo had grown up in and for some reason that was scary.

but all of the fear washed away once you met his little brother. it wasn’t at all what you imagined and the two of you became friends quick. riwoo found himself sulking at times when you’d give his brother more attention than him. “we’d be at our date right now enjoying dinner. just us two.” he dramatically rolled his eyes, you gave him a kiss to reassure him that it was fine. and the two of you had the funnest time babysitting his brother. wouldn’t change it for the world.

han dongmin (한동민) (taesan) — piano nights

taesan was up all night trying to find a certain melody for his song. but for some reason it just wouldn’t come to him. he brought out his piano and began hitting a few keys. nothing. the sounds of the piano managed to wake you up, walking into his room that was filled with scrambled music sheets and song lyrics.

“taesan, it’s two in the morning. are you still going crazy over that one song?” you murmured, your voice thick with sleep as you rubbed the remnants of drowsiness from your eyes. he turned to face you, a look of guilt creeping onto his features as he noticed your weary state. “i’m really sorry for waking you up,” he said softly, his voice barely above a whisper. “i just can’t seem to nail down this one melody. i promise i’ll go to bed as soon as i figure it out.” he sighed deeply, running a hand through his tousled hair, frustration etched across his brow. it was clear that he was feeling overwhelmed by the weight of his creative block. the least you could do was lend him support in this moment.

grabbing the piano, you began to play a melody you used to always enjoy as a child. taesan was visibly shocked, never even knowing you could play the piano. everything felt perfect and surprisingly matched the song he had in mind. he couldn’t help but slowly close his eyes as he swayed to the music, feeling a nostalgic vibe wash over him.

you stopped playing and looked up at him with a tired smile—since you had just woken up. the next thing you knew, taesan was cupping your face, staring at you with a dopey smile. “you’re full of talents, hm?” he softly said in a tone as quiet as a whisper before placing a kiss on your lips.

kim donghyun (김동현) (leehan) — corydoras

it was leehan’s birthday and you just couldn’t wrap your head around the fact he didn’t want to do anything special. it was just another day to him, and the only thing he was looking forward to was just taking a “nice nap”. which you weren’t fond of.

although it was hard, you convinced him to let you surprise him with something. all he was expecting was a small gift, a card even, but instead you placed a blindfold on him. holding his hand as you slowly lead him to your car. “it feels like you’re kidnapping me.” leehan joked as you gently shoved him inside the car, buckling up his seatbelt.

“ha. ha. very funny.”

the car ride was surprisingly quick as the two of you enjoyed a mini karaoke session together. once you arrived, you guided him inside. after all the anticipation, you carefully took off the blindfold to reveal the huge aquarium in front of him. knowing that leehan had a strong fascination with fish, you thought, why not take him to see a bunch of them on his birthday? although he had a small aquarium in his dorm, he hadn't visited a real aquarium in quite a while.

you both decided to spend the day exploring the aquarium, admiring the various fish and sea animals. leehan pretended to be an expert, confidently naming most of the creatures without even needing to read the labels. regardless, his plan to impress you worked.

then he spotted a huge aquarium filled with corydoras. taking your hand, he gazed at the fish with excitement sparkling in his eyes. you were more than thrilled to see him smile this big on his birthday. it’s safe to say that the two of you ended up celebrating his birthday together every year after that.

kim woonhak (김운학) — confession (inspired by 20th century girl)

the school year finally came to an end, and to celebrate, you and a few friends decided to go to the amusement park. after all, you guys deserved it. enjoying all the amazing sweets they had to offer, getting frustrated over not winning a stupid carnival game, and taking endless photos to capture the fun.

it was about time to experience all the rides, and everyone was excited as you all waited in line. all but one person. glancing over at woonhak, you noticed he looked extremely anxious, with sweat dripping down his face. he was trying to act nonchalant, his hands stuffed in his pockets.

“we don’t have to go on this ride if you don’t want to,” you whispered to him, not wanting the other friends to hear. “it’s pretty scary anyway”. he immediately shook his head in protest and insisted on going on the ride. you reluctantly backed off as you continued to wait in line.

when it was finally your turn to board the ride, relief washed over you as you found yourself seated right next to him. as the ride climbed higher, the world below grew smaller, and your pulse quickened. suddenly, just as you nearly reached the peak and could see the entire park below, he grasped your hand in a firm, trembling hold. you turned your head in surprise, caught off guard by his urgency. his breath came rapid and shallow, and with an expression that blended fear and something deeper, he shouted over the roar of the approaching drop, “i like you, y/n! the only reason i agreed to go on this dumb ride was because I didn’t want you to think i was a scaredy cat!”

before you could even fully process his confession, the ride plunged downward, and the two of you let out a collective scream that echoed through the air. the adrenaline surged through your veins, and you found yourself actually enjoying the ride. as the ride slowed and began its return to earth, he released his hold on your hand, and you could see his cheeks flushed, warmth radiating from his rosy ears. once you stepped off the ride, the lingering thrill still electrifying your senses, you turned to him and gave him a quick peck on the cheek, a playful smile dancing on your lips.

“i like you too, woonhak.”

reblogs/likes are appreciated tysm!!!

[bigsuki]

ONLY IN DREAMS | han taesan.

PAIRING: sandman!taesan x gn!reader

SYNOPSIS: the sandman, the king of dreams, had never really had favorites, but if he had to pick, he’d definitely choose you.

WORD COUNT: 630

GENRE/CONTENTS: headcanon, angst (if you squint), unrequited love, taesan gives stalker but i swear he’s not he’s just lonely 💔, shitpost.

AUTHOR’S NOTE: just a compilation of thoughts, i might make this an actual fic later on but it’s literally 2am rn and i cannot think straight 🫩 also if anyone’s seen rise of the guardians, i am HEAVILY basing his sandman off of that. here’s my inspo in case anyone wants to know where this came from 😭.

RECOMMENDED SONG: Half Moon by Failure.

sandman!taesan who accidentally stumbles upon you after wandering too far into a neighborhood while searching for a specific child plagued by nightmares.

sandman!taesan who sits on the roof of your house during the darkest hours of the night with his eyes closed as the gold dust leaves his fingertips, making a trail to your bedroom window, carefully crafting your dreams.

sandman!taesan who’s always been a perfectionist, but treats you differently, never letting the nightmares reach you, always making sure you’re able to rest peacefully no matter the circumstances.

sandman!taesan who will sometimes put himself in your dream, always watching what you do from a distance, never interacting with you.

sandman!taesan who will sometimes let himself indulge, playing the part of a passerby in your dream, “accidentally” bumping into your shoulder just so he could touch you.

sandman!taesan who never looks back as he continues walking by, even though he feels your eyes staring at his back as the distance between you grows.

sandman!taesan who will sometimes sit at your windowsill just so he could be closer to you, watching you turn, watching you breathe.

sandman!taesan who memorized your breathing patterns, who knows when a nightmare is close based on the rise and fall of your chest, quickly destroying the nightmare before it can sink into your skin.

sandman!taesan who never sleeps, but daydreams, his visions so vivid it’s as if he’s in a separate world.

sandman!taesan who sometimes weaves his dreams into yours from how often he thinks about you, sometimes creating characters of you when crafting children’s dreams, sometimes spacing out and imagining a life with you.

sandman!taesan who’s so hopelessly in love with the way you look when you dream, your body fully relaxed, your eyelids fluttering, he can’t help but stare.

sandman!taesan who sometimes gets jealous of the people he places in your dreams, people you truly know, people who are able to talk to you, people who are able t hold you, people who know you.

sandman!taesan who will sometimes let himself into your room just to lurk in the corner farthest from you, the gold sand sometimes leaking from his fingertips, leaving a pile beneath where he stands.

sandman!taesan who will inch closer to you every night until one night, he’s sitting right next to your bed, his knees hugged tightly against his chest.

sandman!taesan who likes to think he’s protecting you from the nightmares of your own emotions when he’s really just letting his intrusive thoughts take over him.

sandman!taesan who jolts whenever you move and teleports back to your windowsill, always ready to take off, always on edge, always making sure you never catch a glimpse of his figure.

sandman!taesan who’s so close to you, he swears he can feel everything you feel, your hearts synchronized.

sandman!taesan who will always leave you as soon as the sun begins to rise, afraid that you’ll see him, afraid that you’ll know.

sandman!taesan who goes to great lengths to ensure every trace of him is erased every night, but will miss the way his gold dust seeps into the carpet, glistening as the sun begins to hit your open window.

sandman!taesan who hides on the roof across from your house until you wake up, until he’s sure you made it through the night.

sandman!taesan who will spend every moment the sun is out waiting anxiously — pacing back and forth in his realm, in his castle made of sand — for the moon to rise again.

sandman!taesan who had always loved his job, but will always pray to the moon to be given a second chance at human life it meant he could be with you.

2025 © bigsuki, all rights reserved.