tobio-time

[tobio-time]

my dearest, daisuke

[tobio-time]

Your name is Maxwell gotch. You’re a 30 year old Revington man, and you specialize in gentleman fist fighting. You are (at least in my headcannon), attracted to men.

You gear up for a fight with Viking bankers. You still remember the vertigo you felt while coming down from the high of jumping off the ship to shove someone off an airplane (was that really only a week ago? Less than that? You feel older, somehow)

Time blurs. All you remember is the texture of the fabric changing with its mingling of blood as you shove a man into the propeller of the ship. All you remember is the roughness in your throat as you shout “you’re meat” into the abyss.

Time refocuses. The fight is won. You feel alive, your body rushed with adrenaline. Then, you feel the vertigo once more, though you keep your composure this time. As you come down from the high once more, you feel…disoriented, emotionally. This fight felt a little different. You don’t know what to do with this information

The group talks about Van’s arm, and the black blob in the balloon. You try to pay attention (this matter is concerning to you, and you worry for van just as much as the rest of them), but you can’t quite stay focused. You still feel a little…shaky. Physically, emotionally, mentally.

Then, pappy mentions his special beans.

You’re Starving.

The beans take 7 hours to make. You eat between then and now, of course. But it’s not as much as you need. The crew keep stopping you from eating too much, because you need to “save room” for the prize dish. You oscillate between hungry-enough-to-want-more and absolutely ravenous. By the time the stopwatch hits the 7 hours mark, you’re legitimately lightheaded. (Of course, the crew would take care of you should they have known you were feeling ill. But you’re a Revington man. You need not show that weakness)

The crew quickly learns how hangry you can get, though they seem to interpret it as “gotch being gotch,” making for some very interesting retorts. Van is lucky that you weren’t feeling well. Your tipping point comes about 6 hours in, when a muttered complaint leads to Marya’s 3rd lecture about how the beans have to get the flavor. “I don’t care!” you snap, because why should you? All you want is this gnawing in the pit of your stomach to subside, for the warmth of a hot meal to ease the icy dread you’re desperately attempting to shove down.

(You snap at wealwell. You don’t know how to feel. He’s been a bit more hostile to you recently, though in a joking way. You like it when people make fun of you, but it feels different when it comes to him. He’s your brother, and you both make fun of each other, but he should ultimately have you back. Betrayal feels too strong of a word, but you definitely feel uneasy about it. You snap because it’s too much, for him to keep taking their side. You feel bad, because he’s your favorite brother. You still love him. He’s still solid. You’re sorry)

The beans get finished. You watch as other people sing a deeply unsettling grace to your family name, and you eat. Or, rather, inhale. You must admit, those are some good beans. Though, you’re not sure which part of you that comes from: your sophisticated taste buds or your gnawing stomach

You do feel better, after eating. That being said, you are still worn and weathered, leaving you no energy for tone control. So what if you give Monty cause to shove you to the ground? So what if you give Marya cause to threaten your perfect middle part? They shouldn’t expect anything more from your exhausted state.

(You wonder what’s wrong with you, sometimes. Why it’s so easy for others to fit in, with tones and mannerisms and such. Why you can never quite get it right. You’re sure it has something to do with your…middling status. Too pompous for wind riders, too rowdy for upper society. But even still, there’s something…else. Something that you’re missing. You wish there wasn’t. You wish you were like them.)

“Kill me,” you shout. You need to let them know that you will not submit. It is not a declaration of a death wish. It is the manifestation of overwhelm. It is the desperation of feeling trapped. It is your last grab at a shield to block the hammer coming down upon your skull. There is no hammer. There is just a situation in which you do not have control. You don’t understand why it takes so little for you to react so strong. (Another thing wrong with you).

At some point, the fighting dies down. You give your spiel about your strength, and how Monty’s performance was excellent considering. You do not call it a victory. You will not admit your weakness.

At some point, ghost dog speaks. You didn’t know he could do that. He starts to fart into a bag, which means the deck slowly fills with the contents of a stench containable by nothing. You can feel yourself retreating into the haze, the events of the day catching up to you. You become disoriented once again, the confusion of the events too much to wrap your mind around. You begin to fade…

At some point, Torse speaks up.

He agrees that the crew is frivolous. He asks of your quest. He listens to you speak of your grandfather. He understands the burden of legacy. (You had not made this connection in your mind before. You had felt sorry for him being the potential last of his tribe before. Now, you grieve with him.)

He offers to commiserate with you. (You are glad he grieves with you back)

He understands what it is like for joy to escape you. (You are not glad for this fact. You are only appreciative of it)

His kindness in this moment means a lot to you. You are particularly touched for someone to reach out to you, despite your particularly rude attitude. To offer an olive branch, despite your continued aggression. To care, despite, despite, despite.

He walks away. You feel a tug in your heart that you have only felt but a few times before.

Your father would never approve, you think, as you watch him disappear from your view. That only makes the beginnings of this newfound desire sweeter.

[tobio-time]

anyone else thinking about pappy's special beans. how he says he doesn't really cook but he'll make a mean plate of beans when morale is low. how beans are simple, easy, quick to prepare and convenient, especially for a life on the run. a life as an outlaw. a life where he didn't have time to stand over a pot and stir for seven hours or sit around a table and hold hands with people he considers family. a life where death meant you're dead, you're done, where living was about staying alive for just another day But For What. where eating wasn't about pleasure and delight and thought and slow, but something he simply Had to do to survive.

something about how living his entire life on the edge has taught him how fleeting Good Things are, therefore, how much closer he should cherish them when they find his way. something about "when you die, you're dead," so live your life like you can't tomorrow. something about how a sunset is non-negotiable, how the stars look so beautiful - we could look up at them together, how he plays the harmonica in private, how a can of beans is gold and a pleasant reminder you'll go to bed satiated and satisfied tonight.

just. beans :)

[tobio-time]

I think there is something to be said about the clear lack of care for her own safety and dismissal of her own pain Marya keeps showing.

This is a woman who went through such a traumatic and tragic experience that she refused for years to come back to the thing she loved most, who spiralled into self doubt and self loathing until she was presented with the chance of getting revenge.

At the end of the day she did not join to save Comfrey, she joined to kill straka or die trying clearly.

She throws herself into danger with little care, and she is tough, she insanely smart and capable, but she throws herself into wells at the mere possibility of facing her worst nightmare, she gets choked and thrown against a wall and doesn't stop for one second on her own pain or safety because it's better that way, she was being somewhat controlled, it doesn't matter that it's still a painful and traumatic experience.

She hears that the woman who she probably admired more than anything and who opened the doors to the sky to her is clearly involved in her worst moment and she pushes it down because there is no space for her pain and resentment when others are still conflicted about her.

She is alone and she silently scratches her tattoo off. This woman grabbed a knife most probably and either stabbed herself or skinned herself to get rid of something that once represented her pride and joy.

Marya is not well and we barely scratched the surface of the weight she is carrying. I fear she is gonna break at some point and it won't be pretty.

[tobio-time]

love cloudward ho showcasing the two different ways in which people can be mega fans of something

cause on one hand you have olethra, whos obsessed with all of montys books to the point of memorising a bunch of random details about them, to the point where if you asked her which books her favourite she would end up just talking for hours on end about her favourite parts of each and every book, and not end up actually answering the question

and then on the other hand maxwell is very clearly just as much of a fan as olethra, but clearly enjoys looking at them critically, to the point of having very strong opinions about each one. if you asked him which one his favourite is, he would pull out a full blown ranking of them that he tweaks with near weekly, and would be able to tell you exactly why certain books are where they are, and would probably end up shifting some positions by the end of it

just because they consume the books differently doesnt mean either one of them is less of a fan than the other, theyre both just as insane about the books as the other

[tobio-time]

it's ok, jay

(not ship)

[id: a drawing of jason todd and dick grayson. dick is in his nightwing costume without the mask, and jason is in a brown leather jacket. jason is doubled over dick in a tight hug. /end id]

[tobio-time]

God, Maxwell and Olethra's equal but opposite character arcs are really getting to me.

Olethra is sky-eyed from the start, granddaughter of the legendary adventurer Comfrey MacLeod. She's desperate to escape the boring life that her parents lead in Pilby and to follow in the footsteps of her grandmother. She's a huge fan of the Zephyr crew, and she read all of Monty's books about their adventures.

But as she goes on this adventure, she realizes that while it is certainly fantastical, it's also dangerous as well. She's lucky enough to have the mech, but the other people around her don't have that kind of protection. She watches them get beaten bloody and struggle to fight back. When she tries to get in a good quip for Monty's next book, he's distracted in the middle of his fight. Things aren't like the stories.

And on top of all of this, the grandmother that she adored so much is slowly revealing herself to be a not-so-great person. She was reckless and single-minded, prone to taking on debts that she knew she couldn't pay. She was sometimes unkind to the people who had once been family to her, and sometimes her recklessness really hurt them. Her grandmother is not the false idol that Olethra has made her out to be, she is a real and flawed woman.

On the other hand, Maxwell is incredibly serious and practical. While he holds onto his grandfather's idea that finding Zood is a worthy investment, he does not hold onto any whimsical ideas of exploring it. He simply wishes to note that it exists to restore the Gotch family name before immediately returning to Gath. Even his fighting is based in rules and structure, even if it's incredibly violent. Mordecestershire is "breaking the rules" by wearing a jetpack to escape instead of simply dying from being thrown off the ship. It's all logical.

But the longer that Maxwell spends in Zood, the more impractical and almost whimsical he becomes. Yes he's still incredibly serious, but he also believes for a moment that he could fight a dinosaur. He jokes with Monty about his books being terrible. He makes the "rowdy" and reckless choice to give Torse his heart. He throws a snowball at Monty when they're at the Ectic Research Station. Even the "you're meat" scene is its own kind of twisted whimsy, comically violent and highly impractical. Of course he's still a bit of a wet blanket sometimes, but he's slowly learning why his grandfather was so sky-eyed.

Olethra's arc is about a dreamer having to ground her dreams in reality, and Maxwell's arc is about getting a realist to start dreaming again.

[tobio-time]

I don't think I will ever stop being bitter about how the fandom treats Duke Thomas.

Either he's a sentient prop, a sounding board for the "main four" batboys or he doesn't exist at all.

Duke is a stubborn, smart, snarky little menace (literally every comic he's a main character in). He's got a life outside the Bats, he was literally part of a city wide Robin movement (We Are Robin), he's got great bonds with Cass and Damian (Outsiders 2019 and Robin War), implied to have solid bonds with Steph and Tim (Detective Comics and Urban Legends), doesn't give a flying fuck about Dick (it's hilarious, see Urban Legends) and roasts Jason all the time for no reason (also hilarious, New Talent Showcase 2017)

Bruce utterly adores him and is constantly talking him up/trying to bond with him (All Star Batman/Cursed Wheel, Outsiders, Batman 2011, Urban Legends and Batman and the Signal)

He's respected by seasoned heroes like Black Lightning and Katana, even antiheroes such as Lady Shiva like him. The man handled a Green Lantern ring, chilled and comforted a semi possessed Gotham Girl, and took on the Riddler as a lil kid.

Duke is complex, funny, strong and overall brilliant, it's crazy to me that people just brush him off as "the normal one."

[tobio-time]

bruce translating his grief for the dead to an intense passionate bottomless love for the living. the people around him mistranslating that love as obsession. him pouring that love into every person he saves, victim and villain alike, even if that love is cursed to be taken as something wrong, something broken. bruce holding his grief and his love next to each other, comparing them because what else is he to do. they are the same.

[tobio-time]

Ayda and Adaine hit the hallmarks!

[tobio-time]

Can we talk about how Maxwell is the first person that Daisuke calls for whenever something bad is happening? Like, I know he’s “Pappy” but he really did just… adopt Max. And even though a lot of their interactions are bits, it’s kind of fitting that Daisuke ended up with the grandpa mug. Even if he can never replace Cadswitch, Daisuke is at least the father Maxwell never knew he needed. Because where Longspot derides Max for being “a rowdy” and questions everything having to do with adventure, Daisuke believes in Max’s abilities both implicitly and explicitly.

They’re in a dicey situation with Mordecestershire? Gotch, grab him. Van’s arm is acting up? Gotch, grab her. Daisuke is surrounded by a bunch of bankserkers? Gotch! And in return, Daisuke is helping to even Max the fuck out so he’ll chill and accept whimsy into his heart like his own grandfather wanted for him.

Max really did find a new family in the Zephyr crew. Daisuke is the paternal figure he never knew he needed. Van is an older sister to wrestle with both figuratively and metaphorically. Olethra is his chaotic twin, also on a journey to redeem her grandparent. And Monty is the uncle Max never stops annoying at the family function lmao. Everything Max could have possibly wanted from his own family he got in his fellow crew.

[tobio-time]

Jonathan during his time in St Joseph and Ste Mary Hospital

Oh Jonathan, how I love your suffering

(-dracula, probably)

If I had planned correctly, I would’ve had more space for the castle :(

I haven’t done a full piece in traditional in a while, let alone in watercolour, so this was very nice :)

[tobio-time]

One of my favorite things is modern adaptations that leave people with the same careers they had in the original material, because unless you’re a cop or a doctor that practically never happens.

Irene Adler’s an opera singer. We still have those! They don’t have the same subtext exactly, but nothing is going to because we aren’t the Victorians. She could continue to be an opera singer. I have never seen this happen.

Jonathan Harker can still be in real estate. That’s a job people have. A modern story that still involves Dracula contacting his firm to help him purchase property sounds amazing actually.

[tobio-time]

see no aioli, hear no aioli, speak no aioli

[tobio-time]

bruce trapped underneath puppy pile of children. if he moves he is evil and hates them

[tobio-time]

I'm going to hold your hands when I say this: Maxwell being called a "rowdy" isn't about his sexuality - it's about his willingness to slum it with normal (poor) people. THAT'S why his dad was rude af to him but chill about Olethra's trans identity. The gentleman fisting jokes are fun because stuffy upper-class culture is deeply homo-erotic even though it pretends not to be, sure, but the reason "rowdy" hit's as an insult is because it's essentially the same as being called white trash/trailer trash. Maxwell and his beat up hands and willingness to go out and do dangerous and wild things are unacceptable because he is a member of the UPPER CLASS. They are financiers. They wear silk suits and sit behind desks and let other people do the dirty work. Every single one of the Gotch brothers could be getting crazy sloppy back shots every night and it wouldn't matter as long as it was from a person of respectable status - but Maxwell is in the fight pits with the randoms and the normies. He's voluntarily entering spaces where his class status is secondary to his physical prowess. Yes the gay jokes are fun, but that's not the POINT of the character.

[tobio-time]

I’ve always wanted to know, what’s your analysis/perspective on why Bruce emptied out Jason’s room after his death?

i think it was a (selfish) self-inflicted punishment. i also think it was only one side of the punishment. the other side comes in the form of how batman didn't empty out robin's room, metaphorically speaking.

the first thing to note is that in the wake of jason's death, bruce notoriously loses his mind. he was violently suicidal, lashed out more and fixated on cases with no reprieve. in a way, he shuts down as bruce wayne and primarily functions as batman. as a result, he is forced to grieve in the only way that is possible — as batman.

he hangs up robin's uniform as a memorial, as a reminder and as a punishment (or he allows alfred to do so, whichever canon you prefer). he carries the last photo of robin in his utility belt. if anyone asks about robin, batman must tell them that there is no longer a robin, and there never will be another.

bruce wayne does the opposite. he erases any and all traces of jason todd from his life. he removes all his photos, clears out his room and refuses to talk to anyone about the boy. jason had died as robin, and he was only robin because of batman. bruce wayne does not deserve to grieve what he did not prevent. it's far too late.

batman's punishment is that he can never forget. bruce wayne's punishment is that he does not have the right to remember.

this isn't to say that bruce&batman or jason&robin are different in any way that is significant to their relationship, but rather to show how bruce had compartmentalised his life following jason's death. this event fundamentally changes him. as batman, he can never allow this to happen again and he will be constantly reminded of his failure. as bruce wayne, he regresses his personhood, he loses what made him whole and he can not fill the gap. as a whole, this ensures no part of his skin isn't burning with guilt.

it is two sides of the same blade and neither is merciful.