bilbo-the-himbo

[bilbo-the-himbo]

[bilbo-the-himbo]

Ok but it's so good and the plot is PLOTTING and also there's a healthy balance of porn/plot. Like yeah they was fucking for like 2 chapters straight at at least one point BUT ALSO THERES POLITICS????? AND MYSTERY??? AND FUCKING MIRABELLA BAGGINS?????

Anyway if you haven't read Yavanna Guide Me I HIGHLY RECOMMEND

Like yea .... my Bagginshield fic is mostly porn .... but it's also this: ----- “The necromancer in Mirkwood … he was Sauron, wasn’t he?”

Gríma’s eyes widened in surprise as a grin stretched across his face. “I think you’re the first courtier I’ve ever met who doesn’t keep a drink in his office.”

“What?”

The advisor only looked at him as if it were obvious. “You haven’t offered me a drink.”

“Excuse me, Advisor Gríma, but you broke into my office, and now you demand I cater to you?” He scoffed, looking away before something bewildered came about him. “And why would I keep alcohol in my place of work?”

“Because you’re a courtier.”

Bilbo sighed, looking somewhat defeated by it. Despite the fact that he didn’t agree with it, he knew Gríma had a bit of a point with that. He supposed it was inevitable he would start getting people drunk to make them more pliant, just as he used to with the humans.

“Point taken.” He acquiesced.

“Perhaps you creatures aren’t as dull as they say.”

“Dull?”

“Yavanna worshippers.”

Bilbo smiled, barely containing his anger as his eyes flicked towards the plants in the room. “Nature can be deadly just as it is beautiful.”

“And hobbits exemplify this well.”

The hobbit frowned, taking a deep breath. “I know you know of hobbit involvement in the human wars. You wouldn’t have tried to steal my handwriting to piss off the nations of man, otherwise.”

Gríma sat up straight from his leaned position, seeming intrigued. “It was a cheap shot.” He admitted. “Not my best work. But I’m no fool. You knew nothing of Sauron’s identity until the wizard told you.”

“Obviously.” He smiled. “But you admit you also knew.”

A raised eyebrow. “Well played.”

“I think we’re both well aware of the actions of the other, so stop pretending there’s anything left about me to gauge. Just ask.”

A glare came into Gríma’s eyes as he stared down the other man. “How did you come upon the One Ring of Sauron?”

-----

https://archiveofourown.org/works/53001901/chapters/154731493

[bilbo-the-himbo]

A TRUE TRAGEDY

the funniest fuckin part of the whole hobbit film trilogy is when they get to erebor and bilbo’s like “hey what’s that a picture of” and they’re like “what you came to steal. the arkenstone” and he’s like “…which is?” and they have to be like “it’s a gem lad” like that boy followed these dwarves 750 miles on foot chased by orcs and didn’t even know what he was supposed to do when he got there. have you ever wanted to be dicked down by a richard armitage character so hard you walked 750 miles on the off chance that stealing something would get you into his pants without even knowing what you were supposed to steal. and he didn’t even get dicked down in the end. a real tragedy

[bilbo-the-himbo]

I’m fine with Thorin being taller than Bilbo, but there’s something unsettling about seeing tall!Thorin (Richard behind the scenes in costume)

Like, Richard in makeup and a hoodie? Beautiful, majestic

Richard in his full costume standing next to Ian? Terrifying

Imagine 6’2” Thorin Oakenshield running at you at full speed

[bilbo-the-himbo]

Man I’m tired and I’m sorry for bringing up some less pleasing stuff on here but I feel the need to talk about this. So recently I’ve noticed an increase in people using chat gpt to write fanfiction, even some in the hobbit fandom. Ai “art” has been a pretty difficult topic for me for a while, yet I want to talk about it more and bring people to understand the consequences of it. But I think it’s also important to bring awareness to the other parties suffering from the usage of ai. I chose Bilbo for this cause I think it’s funny how these ai “writers” forget that Bilbo is an actual writer, so to use a tool that steals from other creators would be the worst insult to his craft

So here’s what Bilbo says:

And here’s what I say, tag your favourite writers to show them support!!

@stoadsie @belalubroski @fantasyinallforms @conkers-thecosy @lucigoo @wolfsbane-and-nettles

[bilbo-the-himbo]

I am going to be 100% real with you guys for a second.

If you are too busy to write fanfics to the point of AI doing it for you, then you are too busy to read fanfics.

If you are too uncreative write fanfics to the point of AI creating them for you, then you do not have the right to give your two cents on other people's fanfics.

If you are too lazy to write your own fanfics to the point of AI doing it for you, then you are too lazy to scroll down on Tumblr or AO3 or FFN.Net to read other people's fanfics.

Using AI to create your works is an insult to the entire Creative Writing and Art Community. Do you think Stephen King used AI to write The Dark Tower series or IT? No. Do you think Hayao Miyazaki allows everyone at Studio Ghibli to use AI to create his god-like anime films like Kiki's Delivery Service and Princess Mononoke? No.

With that being said, if you are pro-AI then, by all means, hardblock me. Because this writer, blogger, and overall fan of many things is anti-AI. Reblog if you agree.

[bilbo-the-himbo]

have you guys ever seen the lord of the rings

[bilbo-the-himbo]

a few reminders because i’m tired and angry

fandom is a hobby, not a form of activism

adult women aren’t inherently creepy for being in fandom and having hobbies apart from raising babies and doing taxes

the vast majority of people pushing back against the worrying trend of instigating harassment over fictional characters and relationships aren’t incest supporters or pedophiles, actually

liking a m/f ship doesn’t make someone a dirty heterosexual invading your space

preferring gay ships doesn’t make you ‘’woke’’ and good

no one owes you a disclaimer that they are a good person who recognizes that their favorite fictional villain’s actions are evil and that they don’t condone those actions irl

liking a fictional villain is in no way comparable to advocating abuse/murder/genocide/etc and you’re a fucking idiot if you believe that

just because a woman is attracted to a fictional villain doesn’t mean she’s promoting toxic relationships or going to end up in a toxic relationship. assuming women can’t tell fiction and reality apart stinks of internalized misogyny 

some rando’s a/b/o fanfics have none of the level of influence that popular tv shows and movies spreading propaganda have

no one owes you a detailed description of their traumas and mental health problems

abusive relationships are not the same as enemies to lovers ships

y’all need to chill the fuck out over people, relationships, actions and events that don’t actually exist and learn how to enjoy and discuss them like normal people

fandom is a hobby, not a form of activism

feel free to add more

[bilbo-the-himbo]

In honor of Day of the Dead, here’s a repost of my comic about the San Francisco Columbarium and the man who spent 26 years restoring it.

This comic originally appeared on Medium at The Nib. Go check out my other work there.

[bilbo-the-himbo]

@bitkahuna

subscribing to a fic isn’t enough I need the author to blast a bat signal into the night sky whenever they update

[bilbo-the-himbo]

guys. stop saying people should stop writing fics about whoever being a bad person. people can write what they want. you cant just say “i think people should stop writing fics about (person) being a bad person because they arent in canon!” uhm. yeah so thats like the point i fear?? like guys people are gonna write it anyway. dont like dont read

[bilbo-the-himbo]

Ao3 does not need an algorithm, you're just lazy

Ao3 does not need a 1-5 star rating system, you just want to bring down authors writing for FREE

Ao3 does not need automatic censorship, it is an archive, therefore anything can be posted

Writing or reading about something illegal does not mean the author nor the reader condones it, if that were true, you could never read a story involving anything negative

Purity culture is ruining fan culture and you all are fucking annoying

[bilbo-the-himbo]

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS

WHO IS USING THIS

AN APP??? THEY HAVE A FUNCTIONING WEBSITE

THE LAST FUNCTIONING WEBSITE

[bilbo-the-himbo]

Me @bitkahuna when THAT chapter of Yavanna Guide Me dropped

women in stem. women in root. women in leaf.

[bilbo-the-himbo]

Elves in the lotr and hobbit movies: Everything I’m about to say is incredibly important. I have never once laughed in my life. Don’t you see this halo around my head?

Elves in the hobbit book: Hey bitch where did you get that beard? The dollar menu? You been watering that thing? Tripping on it? Hey, your friend is fat. Okay, see ya.

[bilbo-the-himbo]

Fandom Etiquette

I’ve been around for a really long time in various fandoms, and no one ever writes this stuff down. I’ll start. Please add to the list. We can’t expect people to follow “rules” they don’t know exist. 

written with the help of @unbreakablejemmasimmons

Fanart

if you like something, reblog it. Help the artist get their work out there in front of more people. Share the joy that it brought you. 

if you want more of it, support it. This can be via commissions, reblogs, recommending the artist to other people, shouting in the tags, or sending the artist asks/messages. 

if you hate it, keep scrolling. Keep the hate in a message window with a friend, not in the artist’s notes. 

if you want to use it, ask permission. Artwork is beautiful and you want to show it off. But please ask the artist before you throw it into your header or your icon. 

if you use it, give credit. And not just a post where you say “Do you like my new icon? X made it!”. Put it in your blog description, that way when someone rolls around your blog three months from now, they also know where your icon/header came from. 

if you appreciate it, don’t repost it. Reblog the artist’s post instead of making one of your own. Let them see all of the excited tags in the reblogs and replies or commentary that people add on. If you come across something on a google image search, try to trace it back to the owner. If someone tells you who the artist is, credit them - but also try to find and reblog their original post.

Fanfic

if you like something, reblog it. Help the author get their work out there in front of more people. Share the joy that it brought you.

if you want more of it, support it. Kudos are great, but if you want more of the thing you like, you should comment. Subscribe to the story or the author. Send them a message about how much you like what they wrote. 

if you read it, kudos it. Or give it a thumbs up. If you want the author to write more things like that, let them know - even if you can’t comment! 

don’t demand content. Be patient. Stories take time. You can encourage without being demanding. Show your love for what’s there without telling them to post more often. 

be gentle with criticism. Some people want it and some people run away from it. If you don’t know what type of person the author is, it’s best not to go there. “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything.”

Fandom

ship and let ship. You love your ship and other people love theirs. No one needs to “win” when we’re all going to end up in tears anyway. 

if you hate it, stay out of the tag. This has two meanings: 1) don’t deliberately put hateful commentary in a tag and 2) if you  hate a tag, don’t go and read through that tag just to make yourself angry

if someone makes you something, appreciate it. Read and comment the fic. Like and reblog the artwork. Pimp it out and tell them how much you loved it. It’s a gift, treat it like one. 

if it’s a gift, put some effort into it. You signed up for that exchange three months ago and now it’s a week before you have to send the gift and you don’t have the time or the inclination to do the thing. Well too bad. Someone out there has been working hard in your gift, so you should do the same for them. 

none of us are “better” than anyone else. We’re all trash for our particular show/film/book/ship/artist/what-have-you. My fave is no better than yours and yours is no better than mine. 

actors are not their characters. They are people. Treat them like people. 

[bilbo-the-himbo]