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Kintsugi // Like Moths To Flames

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I wish I woke up tomorrow in a world where I don't have to see a single AI generated image ever again

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terrarium 🐛

(wallpaper set  //  prints)

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there should be a jesus on the cross emoji. not for any religious reasons. just so I can use it for every slight inconvenience.

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They hate it when u dont abide by the same imaginary rules that they force themselves to live under

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feel nothing // the plot in you 

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This Year Is Out To Get Me // Real Friends

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I think we've lost the plot, and that is the fundamental issue I have with queer theory and academics.

Here's the problem: we have two systems at play. One defines sex and sexuality based on shared experience and social perception. The other sees our identities as being individual, capable of breakdown into hyper specific categories that no longer define a common experience, but a set collection of poorly fleshed out concepts.

Queer theory seeks to explore those concepts and how they impact people's self perception, self expression, and interaction with others. There's a lack of focus on what "queer" once represented -- the experience and treatment of same sex attraction and transsexualism. That isn't to say it's completely absent, only that it no longer takes up a majority place in queer discussion amongst queer people.

This is largely in part due to "queer" growing to encompass things such as asexuality. Things that are completely and totally separate from the oppression and exclusion from society that gay, bi, and trans people face.

If you try to have a conversation about queerness that centers around homophobia, for example, you will be asked why you've decided to narrow your definition of queer to exclude those who do not experience homophobia. You will be told that homophobia is complicated and multi faceted (true), therefore we should shift the conversation as to avoid missteps (what?). You should focus on inclusion rather than the actual issue you wanted to address, a bigotry that, by its nature, is exclusive to a select group of people.

"are asexual people queer" wasn't a relevant question to queer theory, when queer theory actually centered people who were called queer in a derogatory manner. But it IS a relevant question to the version of queer theory that revolves around identity and belonging.

It's important to belong, and to have words that describe your experiences. I'm not trying to say "this isn't a real thing worth caring about". What I *am* trying to say is that the exclusive groups that comprise LGBT are still experiencing the problems faced by those who came before us, and those problems have largely been sidelined to create room for discussion about what it means to experience attraction, all the different microcosms of sexuality and gender, how identity defines us, etc.

Those are questions that never should've been tied to the fight against bigotry. They're philosophical inquiries, schools of thought that one could follow any number of directions. But at the end of the day, a demisexual heteroromantic cisgender woman is not going to be persecuted for her identity. She is not at risk of conversion therapy, homophobia, transphobia, or restriction to medical care. She has no need to fight for her right to be married to the one she loves. She has no worry about being rejected as a prospective foster parent due to her sexuality. She can go into any church, hand in hand with her partner.

Her concept of sexuality is highly philosophical and worthy of investigation, but it isn't at all congruous with my sister and her girlfriend wondering how they'll have kids together, what obstacles they'll face, how their relationship will be put under a microscope. The material reality of systemic homophobic oppression and the philosophy of the split attraction model/asexual spectrum are on totally different playing fields.

So that's my problem. Queer doesn't represent a coherent set of ideas and discussions. Its theory doesn't prioritize the social forces affecting the lives of LGBT people. It attempts to posit an equal idea of "otherness" between all who claim to exist under its umbrella, when in practice, that's just not true.

There will always be an importance in separating the Q from LGBT when working towards dismantling bigotry and assessing the experiences of people across history. Postulating on the specifics of a category like demisexual, that appears to be defined differently by every individual who identifies with it, should be reserved for discussions completely divorced from combatting homophobia and transphobia.

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this 'being really tired after work' thing is really getting in the way of this 'pursuing my artistic hopes and dreams' thing has anyone else noticed this

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Sure since adopting self checkout they got rid of 99% of grocery workers and if something goes wrong you gotta just stand there for 20 minutes while the employee managing 30% of the store singlehandedly tries to juggle helping you with their other responsibilities. But at least groceries are less expensive now right. Why are you trying to whisper in my ear I have a girlfriend

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Charlotte Eriksson, “Everything Changed When I Forgave Myself”

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This Year Is Out To Get Me // Real Friends

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lively, radiant, lush; emerald