This isn’t commonly known but one of the rings of hell is actually being in a fandom wherein the popular bloggers have the worst opinions known to man that everyone else parrots
i hate you romantically involved characters who talk to each other like they’re in a couples counseling session, i hate you watering down of the word toxic, i hate you plot twists where the male love interest is actually a villain because see, silly girl? in the REAL world guys like that are DANGEROUS, i hate you relationship therapist breaks down movie couple’s relationship videos, i hate you “romeo and juliet were just stupid horny teenagers” “belle had stockholm syndrome” “wuthering heights isn’t romantic” hot takes, i hate you sanitization of romance in fiction
thinking about how when you experience a lot of shame in your formative years (indirectly, directly, as abuse or just as an extant part of your environment) it becomes really difficult to be perceived by other people in general. the mere concept of someone watching me do anything, whether it's a totally normal activity or something unfamiliar of embarrassing, whether I'm working in an excel spreadsheet or being horny on main, it just makes my skin crawl and my brain turn to static because I cannot convince myself that it's okay to be seen and experienced. because to exist is to be ashamed and embarrassed of myself, whether I'm failing at something or not, because my instinctive reaction to anyone commenting on ANYTHING I'm doing is to crawl into a hole and die. it's such a bizarre and dehumanizing feeling to just not be able to exist without constantly thinking about how you are being Perceived. ceaseless watcher give me a god damn break.
sorry i can't come in to work today. yeah sorry they killed me off last night. yeah i just wasn't relevant to the plot anymore. i should be in tomorrow but i'll let you know.
First you procrastinate on the task because it is not a big enough deal to get done urgently. Then you procrastinate on the task because it has become such a big deal that doing it is overwhelming. You would think that this implies a middle point where it is just big enough of a deal to get done easily, however the inherent perversity of the universe's causal geometry prevents this
lucas to himself after this: i sure played him!!!! my completely contrived not true at all musings about a man i love were sooooooo convincing!!!!!
like who are you kidding kiddo you could have literally just been like hey john paul sorry about that oh by the way can i have a map of the pride grounds? you know - the public document that you’ll be handing out to everyone? thanks. but sure tell yourself it was your spectacular manipulation skills lol.
I want to thank all the gif-makers of tumblr for allowing me to experience all of the best, funniest, hottest, most poignant, most romantic, most intensely heart-tugging moments of shows that I will absolutely never watch.
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