bitterbelphie

[bitterbelphie]

{{ @bitterbelphies }}

{{ remade the blog so that it's its own thing, and not a sideblog. i made this blog chiefly to see if i'd enjoy running it this way; some friends of mine actively enjoy and manage it! it was worth a whirl, but i think maybe it's a bit overwhelming for me to mix everything up that way.

it'll be a complete overhaul; sorry for the inconvenience! it happens when you start off not really knowing everything you want in much of any direction, haha. but if youd still like to follow and see a bit of me feeling it out some more, please feel free to head over and take a look! if you like what you see and want to write, a.) hell yeah, b.) please feel free to send a message if youd like to plot anything out! im here im about it im down for it }}

[bitterbelphie]

{{ @bitterbelphies }}

{{ remade the blog so that it's its own thing, and not a sideblog. i made this blog chiefly to see if i'd enjoy running it this way; some friends of mine actively enjoy and manage it! it was worth a whirl, but i think maybe it's a bit overwhelming for me to mix everything up that way.

it'll be a complete overhaul; sorry for the inconvenience! it happens when you start off not really knowing everything you want in much of any direction, haha. but if youd still like to follow and see a bit of me feeling it out some more, please feel free to head over and take a look! if you like what you see and want to write, a.) hell yeah, b.) please feel free to send a message if youd like to plot anything out! im here im about it im down for it }}

[bitterbelphie]

{{ @bitterbelphies }}

{{ remade the blog so that it's its own thing, and not a sideblog. i made this blog chiefly to see if i'd enjoy running it this way; some friends of mine actively enjoy and manage it! it was worth a whirl, but i think maybe it's a bit overwhelming for me to mix everything up that way.

it'll be a complete overhaul; sorry for the inconvenience! it happens when you start off not really knowing everything you want in much of any direction, haha. but if youd still like to follow and see a bit of me feeling it out some more, please feel free to head over and take a look! if you like what you see and want to write, a.) hell yeah, b.) please feel free to send a message if youd like to plot anything out! im here im about it im down for it }}

[bitterbelphie]

post nap stretches...

[bitterbelphie]

{{ additionally; hey! promise im not Disinterested or never coming back or anything, but i almost have all of my things packed up and moved to a unit. the closest to finished ive been the whole time tangibly haha, and then, soon.... the big trip. }}

{{ its been going very well!!! im sorry of course that being the silly little sour man has not been my priority but buckling down has been so good. once im a little more settled and things are moving a little more smoothly, hopefully he'll be snarking across the dash again more regularly. }}

{{ thanks for the patience! and if you ever wanna talk or anything, you can DM me, send asks, ask for discord(if weve talked a little fjdj) and id be happy to hear! }}

[bitterbelphie]

{{ recommending that people check their mobile blurbs at the top of their blogs if they havent in a minute; was noticing it on other blogs, only to come over and see it has happened to ME O:< my condolences if your mobile description's been got like mine! }}

[bitterbelphie]

{{ these are some notes for myself mostly dont mind them fjdjfj

that said, i am still alive! blogs not dead i am just throttled irl but i am out here. i am out here. im just very overwhelmed. i am thinking about belphie but have bumbled my goofy ass into some writing issues i want to put down somewhere that wont get lost fjdj so. so. }}

point one;

belphie is one of the most socially involved characters i've ever had in my hands wherein his relationships are so close and impactful on him, and that's considerable! he doesnt know or deal with a billion people all at the same time, but he DOES live with six brothers and a human, and has to worry about others (two angels, one other human, two other Very Big Deal demons) at least occasionally. i have an understanding why the writing team sometimes feels really very rushed the further they go on with obey me im going to be real with you NGJSJF

again, it isn't just the number or proximity; belphies brothers are really very impactful on him, not just in past tense but in the ways they interact with each other, the ways they bicker or support each other or even the human, how belphie perceives these things. he's a more introverted character, but just as he's notorious for his introversion (sometimes levi calls him a fellow shut-in, and hes declined outings several times unless they suited his own needs and interests specifically [before being forced anyway usually]) he's also notorious for watching and listening to the ways the others talk about what's going on, each other, TO each other, how their bonds strengthen or weaken. he's very sensitive to being replaced or forgotten about, or treated as though he's dangerous or like someone doesn't know how to interact with him anymore after the attic incident.

all this to say, to write a rich and satisfying belphie, takes shaking off a lot more rust and getting used to writing several characters in a situation all at the sams time, which i've for some reason been very squirrely to do??? like i'm not allowed or something???? up to the challenge, if only for breaking this very strange sensation of 'oh thats not allowed ):' ON WHAT PLANET. WHEN AND WHY DID THAT HAPPEN

point two;

winter.... oh winter. precious MC stand in. what am i going to do with you.

obviously the mc in a romancey otome game is supposed to move the story along in a way that's as generic and projectable as possible. there's still some personality there; a character that drives an entire family of fallen angels who've had repeated fallings out and coming together again moments and unites them is going to be a sort that's strong in mind and in heart, sure. this is a protagonist in a mushy gushy love game with some edge paint slapped over the top; something i love quite a bit, mind you, but... there's so much blank slate, and so much freedom.

what. am i going to do with you. somehow i did not anticipate The Main Character being something so potentially useful, but also requiring their own good bit of attention. so i should think about where they've been yoinked from and how that helps them adapt to the environment they're in. the mc also has quite the unique relationship with belphie, given the whole murder thing, and subsequent "oh btw the entire reason you did that? built on a lie. yeah everything you justified that with wasn't real. yeah now you both have to cope with that. and each other. yeah."

so winter being a big deal is sort of a big deal in itself. they both have made huge impacts on each other, and belphie's forfeited to them some of his JUST-FOUND FREEDOM to START his apology and that's. i mean god damn. winter knows he'd been trapped a long time, winter knows he'd been lied to, but that his feelings of neglect and betrayal aren't gone... but that also doesn't mean they're just fine now, either. he murdered their ass and he tried to do it again until he was told the truth and broke down as it sunk in fjdj not even immediately.

they have a lot of questions for one another, but also a lot of tension. delicious mix. how much i would love to really do something with that.

very good to get this out of my brain and somewhere i'll find it again fjdjgj

maybe ill noodle around with this??? try to practice some things and lean into that early canon feel i liked so much and base some things off canon events. augh please understand how much this sleepy freak lives rent free in my brain space even though i am so so quiet. trying to get unfrozen in so many ways

[bitterbelphie]

[bitterbelphie]

[bitterbelphie]

The Monster Manual but it's blatantly written by the monsters

[bitterbelphie]

t shirt that says “i used to be worse”

[bitterbelphie]

black mage.

stubborn, stubborn! you do things your way and no other, and people who try to get you to change often find themselves frustrated. you are a person who finds that their way is working, so there's no need to change it. "if it's not broke, don't fix it" taken to an extreme. you're enchanted by the belief that madness is what you get when you try the same thing over and over again without changing anything. after all, trying again and again is what's worked for you before! you embrace the prospect of madness, and you love the thought of doing more for less. be careful it doesn't break you.

... i don't know what else i expected... i was sort of a shoo-in for that one.

[bitterbelphie]

Belphie was once missing out at sea for a week… he fell asleep on a floatie and a rip current took him away!

[bitterbelphie]

nailbastion on ig

[bitterbelphie]

[bitterbelphie]

if you're so sick of something, it's probably gotten old already. i'd argue it's more important, then- complaining, i mean. even if the novelty gets lost, it's better to get some steam off where you can.

appreciate having the choice while you can. sometimes the blowout doesn't wait for permission.

no, we haven't. but i've seen you here and there. you seem like you have a lot going on. i'd be tired if i were you too, but that isn't saying much... i'm tired as a rule as it is.

i'm belphie.

@bitterbelphie: think it's anyone's right to complain. whine. bemoan, even. go off. i think i'd explode if i didn't complain a few times a day.

....Maybe. Just feel like.. It's a lot.

Been told it's okay to be upset about it, but.. For how long. How long until it gets old...

.... Don't think we talked. Hello. Hearts.. Or Ren.

[bitterbelphie]

Here’s a video so you can hear the water and the thrushes. I took it for you because you couldn’t be there. <3