blackforrestpunk - Tumblr blog

[blackforrestpunk]

Happy Birthday! 🎉🎈🎁🎂

AWWW thank you my dear! <3

[blackforrestpunk]

It is my Birthday, and I've got the blues again.

So, here is my present to you. A full bonus chapter. Have fun :-) https://tapas.io/episode/3093156

[blackforrestpunk]

And in the background sounds "Say you want me with you here, beside you Anywhere you go, let me go too That's all I ask of you"

Modern AU where Christine watches ALW’s musical and gets some ideas:

Well you can’t have everything.

[blackforrestpunk]

Party Hard with AuDHD

Yesterday I went to our company's spring party. The company itself has 11 sub-companies and a total of over 1000 employees. About 700 were present at the party. Some of my work colleagues, the younger ones, greeted me warmly as always and invited me to their table. The younger members of my team are queer or POC, I don't know if it's because of that or because of age, but I felt very comfortable around them. They kept asking me how long my vacation would last. And that I would be missing after just 2 days. I thought that was really sweet. There was beer. Radler. Wine. Since I had taken my ADHD medication - Elvanse, in the morning, I stuck with Radler in the evening. I'm still not good at assessing the effects of the medication, so I played it safe. What can 10 Radler do to you. On an empty stomach. Spoiler: I stayed sober. Damn.

The others in my team, some of whom are around my age or older. Are simply different. I keep realizing how this generation has grown up with patriarchal structures, homophobia and racist expressions. Most of them, at least I assume, don't even mean any harm. Because they're used to it, and they think it's “funny”. I, on the other hand, just find it exhausting. And if I could, and if the work context would allow it, I would have less to do with these people. It was one of the few evenings where I realized that I simply don't belong in such social events. Not because I'm a better person. No. Simply because I don't fit in. Never have fitted in.

I used to be the guy who used to party really hard at these events. I was the guy who played beer pong, strip poker or whatever with you. I built towers with shot glasses or made things with beer mats. I was everywhere and nowhere. I was completely burnt out the next day. Overloaded. Still had some alcohol left in me. I was always in a bad mood the days after. I argued on purpose just to dump the bad energy. Just to get dopamine somehow. Now, 1 year of therapy and 2 important life-changing diagnoses later, I know: I treated myself so badly at parties like that because I wouldn't have got through it in any other way. And to be honest, I don't need that anymore. The party, and the non-effects of alcohol, have shown me that I simply don't need it anymore.

I heard everything at the same time, concentrating on conversations was so exhausting. The stupid penis jokes of my older work colleagues were just exhausting and at the level of my secondary school days. In the village. Somewhere in the forest. I didn't feel safe or comfortable all the time. I smoked, although I no longer smoke. I drank 10 Radler that didn't get me drunk. Apparently Elvanse has the property of making alcohol work differently, sometimes worse. Which of course doesn't erase the blood alcohol level. The effect is simply different. At the end of the evening, I had a little shutdown in the back seat of the car for a few minutes. We were sitting in the back seat with 3 of us unbuckled. We were speeding down the highway at 120 km/h just to get a work colleague to the train station who was drunk as a skunk.

What did I take away from it? I no longer go to such events. And when I do go, I go with the younger ones. They don't get so disgusting with alcohol. And maybe I'll drive by myself and can go when I want. I'll wait quite a while to share my new name. Even though it stings every time I hear my dead name. Sometimes I admire the old me because I just didn't find it as stressful back then as it was for me in the end. If there are any autistic people with ADHD here, do you have any tips on how I can avoid this next time? Do you simply cancel such appointments as a rule? Do your coworkers know about your diagnoses? Mine don't and I still don't know whether that's good or bad. I would really appreciate an exchange or tips.

[blackforrestpunk]

damn you hyperfixations

Usually it’s video games instead of music but this is pretty much accurate hehe

[blackforrestpunk]

Gave prince Adam from Beauty and The Beast a well deserved remake, beard and all. Its an outrage hes baby faced honestly....

Thoughts?

[blackforrestpunk]

A while ago, I had my coming out as non-binary to my family and my most important friends. At the same time, I let go of my old birth name. It has happened so so so soooo much in the last 2 months. I made this meet the artist not only for you, but also for me. To see who I am. Unfortunately, the picture won't end up on Instagram for now. I'm afraid my work colleagues will make fun of me. Bad enough that a few of them found the art account. And one of them is already making fun of me anyway and calling me "manga mouse". No idea what will happen when they find out my diagnoses or new name. Ok 2 of them are totally adorable, one keeps saying "gosh Aiiiii, you're so talented! I can't do that!" and the other "I don't understand why you work for us and not for Disney or someplace" Well, I'm too bad for Disney :-D That's just the way it is. By the way, in Germany the self-identification law will soon come into force. I'm going to register my name there too. Then it'll be ready to be said at work. Hopefully I won't have to change jobs ;-D

[blackforrestpunk]

Hello everyone, first, I was lost in doctor's appointments. Then I had the flu. And for some mysterious reason, I drew a total of 17 comic pages during the feverish days.

What I wanted to say, chapter 03 is now completely online on Tapas and DeviantArt. If you want to binge reading, have fun.

By the way, I read The Extraordinaries by TJ Klune in one day. I love it.

Chapter 03 on DeviantArt - hit me

Chapter 03 on Tapas - hit me one more time

I don't earn any money with this hobby. And since I'm also afraid of the finance office, I probably won't earn any money with it either. But Likes would be great. Just so I know that you like what I do.

[blackforrestpunk]

Heyyyy, I am still alive.

The last days are very strange. I've got the autism diagnose confirmed. And also an Adenomyosis diagnose. Genetic check pot. :'D Well, just if you wonder. The Fanfic Dandelion got since yesterday 3 new chapters. And my Comic is also uploaded.

Just check it out:

Dandelion Chapter 17 - https://archiveofourown.org/works/53360005/chapters/138789505

Dandelion Kapitel 17 - https://www.fanfiktion.de/s/65b69138000f007a29e847c9/18/Dandelion

You've got the watches, we've got the time Chapter 02 Part - https://tapas.io/episode/3079793

And a few words to this pic. This is brother Erik with his younger brother Reza :-) Hope I didn't post this earlier. :-D

[blackforrestpunk]

Well. What can I say?

[blackforrestpunk]

It is done! Since yesterday Chapter 02 is finished uploaded!

If you are interested in a Phantom of the Opera Modern Punk AU, just click the link for Chapter 01.

Chapter 01 - just start here if you are new https://tapas.io/episode/3067743

So? You already know the Comic? Did you read the last episode of Chapter 02? https://tapas.io/episode/3070422

And big sorry that I am not as much online here. Work and family stuff is hitting me hard in the last days.

[blackforrestpunk]

This is a never ending story with these games, oh boy :-D Thanks for the tag @jennyfair7

Egg: ehm scrambled, soft-boiled, soy-egg (it is soft-boiled egg, marinaded in soy sauce for 12h), fried-egg

Steak: no meat eater, i am sorry i guess

Milk: Oat Milk, Soy Milk, sometimes Lactose free Milk

Alcohol: Beer, Gin-Tonic, Coffee with Rum (but only at work ;D)

Warm drink: Coffee, Milk tea

Tagging (no pressure): @jadeite-art @levi0delight @rumpletrumple

I was tagged by @conjuring-ghouls thank you!!! <3

Eggs: sunny side up~ (do you also know this feeling when you suddenly reach the point of too much egg??)

Steak: i rarely ever eat steak tbh i think the few ones i had were medium

Milk: Oat milk!!

Alcohol: none!

Warm drink: my fav turkish apple tea or latte macchiato !!

tagging: @hyperobsession @hypnoneghoul & @creeplet if youd like to!!

[blackforrestpunk]

Thanks for the Tag @jennyfair7 I just forgot to respond :-D

Last Song: Poison - Hazbin Hotel

Currently Reading: Fanfic - Gustave Daae's Daughter by Mertens And Fanfic - All the Young Dudes by MsKingBean89 And rereading The House on the Cerulean Sea by TJ Klune

Currently Watching: Rewatching She-Ra after a House of Owls binge-watching and Hazbin Hotel binge-watching

Currently Obsessed With: POTO, sometimes there is a flickering from Lore Olympus or something that I binge-watching...but...well...

Tagging: @levi0delight @jadeite-art @elli-mmm @frommarshtheycome

well if you have fun to join :-)

tagged by @glassprism

Last song:

You Don’t Bring Me Flowers, performed by the London Philharmonic (I know none of you saw this coming)

Currently reading: it is going to take me years to finish reading any of these because they are all so boring/I am constantly distracted by things that are more fun

Hamlet

Once and Future King

Golden Compass

The Time Machine

Jewel of the Seven Stars

Currently watching:

Clone Wars series

Moon Girl and Devil Dinosaur

Currently obsessed with:

Phantom of the Opera (always)

Argylle

tagging @nerdywriter36 I am too tired to figure out who else has been tagged, and I know you’ll tag lots of people so

[blackforrestpunk]

Everything is shattered. It will never heal properly. Everything will change.

[blackforrestpunk]

Well now that he's fallen he needs an ice pack for his head. And another kiss to make it all better

Still fallen, still can't get up.

[blackforrestpunk]

Life is good... I guess

Dude, it's been a weird week.

My leg is giving me problems again, and I'm having numbness again, the physiotherapy was also rather modest. And although I have a walking stick just for these moments, I refuse to use it.

A close colleague was hospitalized twice because of his lungs…

Instead, therapy is better again. My therapist and I have worked through our low point.

My psychiatrist has signed me up for autism diagnostics.

I'm in chapter 11 of the "You've got the watches, we've got the time" comic and it breaks my heart to see Erik suffering so much…

The wonderful Valentine's Day card from Jenny arrived.

And I came out to my boyfriend after 4.5 years of being in a relationship. He always knew I was bisexual, that was always fine with him. What he didn't know what anybody knew, and what I repressed for a long time, was that I never felt like a woman. Even when I draw myself, I look androgynous. Oh boy, this morning we had about a 4-hour conversation about me being non-binary. And it's ok. He said he loved me before, and just because I name it now doesn't change anything.

And in 15 minutes I'm getting picked up and going to the Electric Callboy concert in Stuttgart with friends.

Döp dö dö dö dö döp

[blackforrestpunk]

Yeah Yeah I know, still no Erik. Christine is in this story the center :-D end yeah i know, nothing special happens in 08 chapters... but if you read between the lines, shit is getting real...