Ageless, c*rn blogs DO NOT INTERACT!!! (Because I am tired of reporting and blockingā¦)
Note: these are stories that I found here on tumblr, wattpad and ao3. Keep in mind that some may have mature themes!
Invisible String: {Gojo and Reader co-parenting au} ~irisintheafterglow (Tumblr)~ [co-parenting fics are the best and this is one of them]
Open Arms, Open Eyes: { No Curse au} ~ shibaraki (Tumblr) ~ [The best no curse au I've ever read, you won't regret reading it]
Waters Edge: crown prince Gojo Satorū x f.Reader { moder royalty au} ~ sh1nsvke (Tumblr) ~ [This story will get you hooked from the first chapter, also I think it'll be one of the best enemies to lovers fic]
James Dean, Daydream look in your eye:{college au + biker Gojo} ~ irisintheafterglow (Tumblr) ~ [Who doesn't want to have a biker bf especially when he looks like Gojo]
Fear: ~ chuluoyi (Tumblr) [Gojo almost looses you after a fight that makes him realise how important you really are...]
Perfect Copy: {parents au} ~ honeybubblegumpink (Tumblr) ~ [Just some fluffy short fic about Gojos superior genes]
Wanna Be Yours: ~ nezuscribe (Tumblr) ~ [ No words just go read it...and there is part two ;)]
Sakura: {Hanahaki Disease au} ~ arminsumiĀ (Tumblr) ~ [unrequited to requited love sign me up for a good story]
End Game: {volleyball au} ~ irisintheafterglow (Tumblr) ~ [Amazing story about manager and KurÅ Gojo]
To You, My Love: gojoux (Tumblr) ~ [showing Gojo care and love because he deserves it]
I hope you enjoy them, I will probably make another part. Have a nice day/nightš¤
Note: I do sometimes link my reblogs bc there is literally nothing I hate more than clicking on a link only to arrive at the ghost blog page.
Blogs to just read through:
@just-jordie-things
Amazing fluff and hurt/comfort. I especially recommend To Build a Home!!
@romantichomicide95
Toe-curling smut, tooth-rotting fluff, and heart wrenching angst. Just read all of it
@sitarawrites
I love her badass desi reader. Reading her fics make you feel like such an icon
@irisintheafterglow
Really interesting AU's, I absolutely love her fics!!
@ponderingmoonlight
What to even say. Literally any fic you could ever want, she's probably written it, and she has great reader diversity. I promise you won't regret binging her masterlist :)
@mitsies
I love her fics, they never fail to hit me in my feels
@stsgluver-archive
Snapshots (hurt/comfort, fluff)
@mikobeautifulheart
7 Minutes in Panic (hurt/comfort, fluff)
@osaemu
Gojo Streamer AU (fluff, angst, hurt/comfort) (series)
@chuluoyi
Found You (fluff, hurt/comfort)
@kingkonoha
You're a Dad?? (fluff)
@awearywritersworld
Three Times He Thinks He Might be in Love and One Time He Knows for Sure (fluff)
Your marriage to Gojo Satoru lost its initial excitement, since your husband spent all his time either at Jujutsu Tech or on exorcism missions across the world. To ease your loneliness, you picked up your favorite pastime from your student years ā clubbing ā behind his back. Too bad that on Satoruās most recent mission he spots his wife dancing in a nightclub with a bunch of guys in the skimpiest dress he has ever seen on herā¦
š desert rose by @sadistic-kiss (on going)
all jjk men x fem reader š
Toji Fushiguro finds you during one of his hitman jobs. With no idea what to do with you he decides to bring you home to his house of misfits. They werenāt picture perfect but neither were you.
š mascara by @/softstellars (on going)
geto x fem reader
You've never been a particularly good person, you're self-aware enough to know it. It's your only flaw, and recently you've actually been working to better yourself. For example: paying for a 30-dollar Uber so you can take your friend home only for her to ditch you for some guy when it comes down to it. Although youāre pissed, you decide to try and make the best of it instead of get into a screaming match with her. It's an easy thing to do when Getou Suguru is offering you everything to do just that. Everything a party entails: liquor, weed, and sex with a perfect stranger. And Getou knows perfectly well you have a boyfriend, so it's not like he'll want anything serious.
š a pearl by @lemonlover1110 (completed and posted on tumblr!)
toji x fem reader
The Fushiguros needed a nanny, and the pay was too good to not apply, especially since your family needed financial help. You were the perfect nanny for the kids, they loved you as if you were their own mother. Slowly, you built up the perfect relationship with the family. Especially with Mr. Fushiguro. A man who would constantly visit you after dark. A man who you thought had sincere intentions but at the end of the day didn't care about you. A selfish man who just saw you as a tool to make his wife mad. A man who didn't care about you but didn't want you with anyone else. A man that took away your ability to know what a healthy relationship was. You couldn't speak up about it since all the fault would fall at your feet and would be deemed as the "homewrecker".
š you, my angel and my saint by @lemonlover1110 (completed and posted on tumblr!)
toji x fem reader
sequel to a pearl!
After having an affair with your boss, you're left to deal with the consequences, those being: two exhausting new jobs and a child. A child that he never got to know the existence of. Now all you had to do was keep her hidden, which should be an easy task, right?
š rings by @/bungeemum (on going)
toji x fem reader
you divorced the man in front of you for a reason. so why was he standing on your doorstep, guilt plastered on his face, and eyes glinting with hope?
š a dangerous game by @/anaoyuo (completed)
gojo x fem reader
geto x fem reader
Both men agreed to a game about who fucks you first, but they didn't play their cards right. Gojo and Geto changed the course of the game when they decided to keep you around for way longer than intended, making you fall for their sweet way to deprave you, and now you have to face the consequences in a gamble that they call their life.
š fateās gamble by @/anaoyuo (on going)
gojo x fem reader
geto x fem reader
sequel to a dangerous game
ē¼åā a story about predestined affinity, set in a world where the intoxicating thrills of wealth intertwine with amorality.
š him & i by @pharixden (on going)
gojo x fem reader
toji x fem reader
sukuna x fem reader
A cheating husband, a widowed bodyguard and a malevolent fling of the past who owes a favour isnāt a combination for the faint of heart, but not every girl is a damsel in distress.
š changes by @lemonlover1110 (on going also on tumblr!)
gojo x fem reader
From childhood friends to lovers to mere strangers. Your love story with Satoru Gojo was one from a fairy tail, until it wasn't. When you were twenty-one, Satoru left you without an explanation. Five years later, you meet again but nothing is quite the same. Too many things need to be explained, especially the fact that there's another Gojo that Satoru has yet to meet.
š the man in apartment 381 by @lemonlover1110 (completed also on tumblr!)
toji x fem reader
Looking for a new beginning after the death of your husband, you move away from town. That's when you meet him, Toji Fushiguro, a widower with a three-year-old son. You two understand each other, which draws you close. Except you two don't realize that feelings would eventually develop, and neither of you want that. Feelings are the last thing you two want after finding out the great damage that they can cause. When you two discover this, it's too late.
š 4th avenue viewing by @/softstellars (completed)
nanami x fem reader
Nanami Kento is intelligent, serious, reserved and can easily catch someone in a lie. It's his job to do just that, he's renowned for it. So when he comes to your university to offer up an internship, it's quite the opportunity. Anyone would jump at the chance, except for you. But no, you just had to be the one caught in a lie.
š forgotten souls by @/killerpoultry & @/bebobopobo (completed)
sukuna x fem reader
You and Sukuna have been married for years. Even though he is brash, mean, and sadistic, you love him more than anything. While he may not show it much, he truly loves you too. One day you get into a terrible car accident and lose all your memories. You learn to live once more while Sukuna must now get you to fall in love with him all over again.
š love kills by @/sourome (on going)
i actually donāt know š i think toji x fem reader
The wealthy and successful Zenin family, well respected and seemingly perfect. But all that glitters is not gold. Toji Zenin, CEO and face of the Zenin Group acts like a gentleman but is a vile creature that has ruined many lives, such as yours. That married man dared to play with your motherās heart many years ago, destroying her sanity and her life and ultimately killing her. Now years later and being all grown up you decide to seek revenge, he deserves to suffer that same destiny and die of love. With the help of a few friends you plan to become a part of his life and his every thought but you didn't take into account his son, that man had the potential to turn your plans upside down.
š the black swan by @uselesslydamaged (completed)
sukuna x fem reader
Loving someone is easy, but experiencing it is harder.
š bodyguard by @/succybuss (on going)
toji x fem reader
Your Grandfather, a man involved in unsavory businesses that has taken you under his wing, has informed you that you will be under the care of a full-time Bodyguard. Unhappy with your grandfather's decision, you decide to go out for a night of drinking for your last night of freedom. There, you encounter a man you planned on taking home, but life had other plans in store for you...
š violet lights by @septembersummer (completed)
gojo x fem reader
In which you're at a party that you should've skipped when you capture the attention of a boy who looks like an angel and grins like the devil. He looks beautiful in the neon lights, and maybe you just want to make your ex-boyfriend jealous, but trouble with a tongue ring does sound like fun, just for tonight. What's the worst that could happen, you know?
š starboy by @septembersummer (completed)
gojo x fem reader
sequel to violet lights
After your ex-boyfriend gets arrested on national television, you find yourself realizing that you really didnāt know much at all about Gojo Satoru. Well, heās better known in the Yakuza as The Six Eyes, not that he ever told you that.
This is a Toji x Reader x Megumi but the smut is almost exclusively Toji x Reader focusing on their affair.
š the twist of a knife by @darkcat23 (on going)
gojo x fem reader
This world is dull, colourless in your eyes. You are just trying to keep going with your life, not bothering anyone, trying to support your mother and yourself. So what happens when you agree to help your ex one night? And what if you catch the attention of a certain white haired assassin? And he shows you just how colourful this world truly is. or, a story of a girl with a violent mind and a boy with violent tendencies, finding each other, intertwining, and feeding off one another. perhaps it is fate that has brought them together. or perhaps it's something more sinister, something more cold.
š untameable waves by @/circedemedici
(unknown i guess hopefully i can let you know)
has been taken down i dont know if itāll come back but if it does iāll link it! but iām leaving it here because it was most definitely my favourite :(
please let me know any other fics youāve read because i love reading fics with a LOT of plot and also let me know if you end up reading any and you enjoy them as much as i did! :3
oh my goodness, okay, so! I love you guys so much! thank you for following me, I really appreciate it! I'm not a writer of any sort, so I'm extremely shocked at the amount of followers I received from letting you guys know my favourite jjk fics! (and the twitter links ofc :*) but I'm still reading a lot of fics on tumblr and ao3 so I'll try my best to continue letting you know what ones I've loved and let me know some of your favourite fics I'd really love to read them! ā”
also, if you don't like what I recommend that's totally fine everyone has their own preferences when it comes to what they want to read but don't send anything mean to the authors I recommended. they take so much time in producing these fics for us! so please be nice! :3
š silent love by @strbymacaroon sukuna x fem reader (completed)
When moving out of your dorm and leaving your eccentric roommate goes to shit, you're offered by one of her friends to move in with him... for free! That is, if you don't mind living with two completely opposite college boys.
However, life isn't that easy, and there's a hot asshole around the corner to piss you off. Especially when he's always up late at night when you're studying, purposely trying to get on your nerves in the most perverse way possible.
You hate him.
Yet, the tables seem to turn when he comes knocking on your door asking for your help.
Under one agreement, that is.
š it had to be you by @mysteria157 Nanami x fem reader (completed)
Despite your differences and frustrations with one another, you share a drunk but passionate night tangled in the sheets. But now, five weeks later, you and Nanami Kento have no choice but to navigate a rocky relationship while also embracing the new responsibilities of parenthood that lay ahead.
Maneater Toji x fem reader (completed)
Maybe you're single for a reason. Youāre too outspoken and mean to men, too demanding with your expectations, and you refuse to settle for less. For the ones who aren't worth the air they breathe, you chew them up and spit them out. You savor the taste so you know what to avoid the next time. So when he looks down at you with that devilish smirk and calls you 'Princess', you're determined to prove that Toji Fushiguro is no exception.
In Too Deep Toji x fem reader (ongoing)
Toji, a notorious hitman, moves to America for more money and a better life for his son. He didn't expect to sleep with you, let alone want more. When his dangerous life catches up to him, he takes on one final lucrative hit, but realizes this target has unseen connections hitting closer to home. Now he must navigate a perilous job while desperately keeping his criminal double life hidden from you.
š One of the Girls by @/ladyofwhims toji x fem reader (completed)
You want one night of great sex, and you happen to have the one thing Toji finds irresistible: $$$$. But nothing is ever simple.
š Clipped Wings by @/mahithoes sukuna x fem reader (ongoing)
(TW has graphic themes! Sukuna is lowkey scary in this.)
Routine visits to different prisons and psych wards are mainly what your life consists of. Youāve encountered many unique individuals who express differences in their personalities, physical behaviours, and personal attributes. It was your field of study and you excelled at it, one of the best in your workforce in this small city. Forensic psychology was something you were compelled to do from a young age, youāre now 26 years old and pursuing your dream. After your last client had lost his life in a gang-related incident, you were assigned a new inmate. You were warned before you accepted, this prisoner was uncooperative and notoriously violent. It is your goal to break through them obstacles and find out the truth behind all of the gruesome crimes of Ryomen Sukuna once and for all.
š Karma by @spideyyeet Sukuna x fem reader (ongoing)
funny story! they have a different name on ao3 and i didnāt realise and i thought someone stole their work and i was like oh no they did not just do this in broad daylight! but nooo i was wrong š
It was easy tutoring rich university students . They paid you decently, but of course what really brought in the cash was slipping a couple trinkets from their homes into your little bag on your way out. It was all well and fine until Yuuji forgets to tell you his hot older brother is back, and youāre caught red fucking handed.
@c0pkiller Everyoneās Doll Gojo x fem reader (ongoing)
Satoru Gojo, a best-selling erotica author, may know more than most regarding matters of sex, but when it comes to his own sex life things couldnāt be duller. The very moment your face pops up on his computer while utilizing a sugar baby service called The Daddy Network, you catch his eye (something most people fail to do), and his world changes, becoming something he's happy to be a part of for the first time in his life. However, every person has their flaws, and the relationship you form with Satoru is put to the test more times than you can count, forcing the two of you to truly take turns breaking each otherās hearts. Gojo tries more than once to convince himself that he doesnāt need anyone - especially not you, but old habits die hard and, often, not at all.
š Now letās get into fics iāve read on Tumblr! š
I may not add all of them only because I've read so many I genuinely cannot remember some of them š but I have reblogged most of the fics I've read and loved! (also some arenāt long fics more like series? i dont know :D)
@spideyyeet MMA Toji (I be rereading these all the time I wont sit here and lie...)
@tojipie Prison Boyfriend Toji
@saintobio Sincerely Not Gojo x fem reader (completed)
CW: mean!gojo, VERY OOC, adultery/infidelity, profanity, explicit smut, violence, emotional trauma/physical abuse from past experiences, neglect, heavy family drama, illnesses, classism, pregnancy, undertones of masochism, undertones of manipulation, abandonment issues, overall toxic relationships, graphic depictions of self-harm, suicide/murder (and attempts thereof), minor character death, plot loosely based on twotm & tre.
Sincerely Yours Gojo cx fem reader (ongoing)
CW: ooc, profanity, illnesses, toxic relationships, cyberbullying, classism, mentions of abortion, cheating, explicit smut, mentions of suicide (or attempts thereof), mentions of depression + more to be updated. please read with proper discretion.
@xxsabitoxx Pale Blue Geto x fem reader (ongoing)
@lemonlover1110 Literally all of their work.
@tojikai Permanent Mark Gojo x fem reader (completed)
@thehighpriestess1 Scars Don't Fade Gojo x fem reader (completed)
CW:Mentions of death, TW : Suicide (in one chapter)
August (completed)
@sukunastoy Shameful Attraction (ongoingā¦ i think š)
CW: This story has moments of mistreatment and abuse in it. There are references all throughout about this behaviourāHitting, name-calling, degradation, hiding bruises, domestic violence, sexual assault, being drugged/unaware, cheating, unfaithfulness etc. Also, reader is thin/underweight
@lostfracturess Concern and Control (completed)
CW: [18+] this story contains abusive/possessive behaviour, (rough) smut, mature themes, self-destructive behaviour, (heavy) angst, graphic depictions of violence/injury/combat, character death, suicidal thoughts. reader discretion is advised. Reader is 20+ btw!!!
@kamiversee The Fuck List Choso x Gojo x fem reader (i think?) (ongoing)
A tale in which Gojo Satoru blackmails you into seducing a list of people to clear his debt. Sounds easy enough, right?
Let me know if you enjoyed these as much as I did! Also let the Authors know first of course!! And send me some new fics to read I literally spend so much time reading these fics and I genuinely enjoy them so much! If I remember the other fics I've read I promise I'll update this one with them added! ą»ź°ą¾ą½²įµ įµ įµ ź±ą¾ą½²ą§§
hi! ITO was on hiatus for a while and i think it was deleted shortly after(?)
i was subscribed to it and i got updates notifications until ch32. the author is reposting the story from the beginning again :) authorās name is peekamatcha
ohmygosh you are a life saver š„² thank you so much. iām so glad the author aināt gone for good!
iām so sick rn, i had to make a post about it. i was gonna catch up on my ao3 books but i canāt find this story š when i say my heart is to the FLOOORRRR. it feels like someone just stomped on that hoe. if anyone can help me find it iāll marry you like deadass
okay itās a gojo x reader and itās an enemies to lovers. itās really more like reader hates gojo and gojo is just ā¦. gojo lmao
anyways they have to save the world from its impending doom and the only reason why they are reconnected after no contact for YEARS is cuz reader has the connection/sources to save everyone. but itās a journey fr. the slow burn was BURNING
deadass the only reason i know so much is cuz i was keeping track of all my stories like š„¹
love is blind, but it sees all. although satoru should know better, love becomes a lunacy he clings to until he canāt anymore.
š¹ f!reader ā¹ semi-curse, mythology au ā¹ angst/tragedy. semi-fluff. soft smut. strangers to lovers ā lovers to exes ā¹ dc. semi-yandere!satoru; he follows reader around a lot lol ā¹ 18+ heavy making out. soft sexual language. body worship. whiny!satoru for the agenda ā¹ satoru is eros + ares, love/war god. blends aspects of cupid x psyche lore + jjk cts concept. some religious undertones? i kinda stitched different myths together like a quilt ā¹ reader is a museum curator/director ā¹ 15.5k ā¹ footnote. wow canāt believe i finished this after sitting on this idea for like half a year. we ball! ą· header. ą· playlist.
ź° šššš ! ź±
ACT I. UNDER THE GAZE OF LUDUS, BY SONG OF ITS LAUGHTER.
love is blind, but it sees all; love is fickle, love is knowing. it lives and dies a thrilling spectacle.
SATORU.
the delirium bred from gentleness.
it inspires, emboldens, and molds the fiery depths of passion in its hands. but love is a screeching sticky thing, all madness and frenzy nonetheless, coated in complicated and bittersweet nectar that clings to whatever it dares to touch.
love is satoru.
of course, satoru knows of love, embodies everything it both is and has the potential to become if made free and not contained within the divinity of his spirit.
he knows that love is saccharine sweet and he knows the grip it leaves behind in flesh is bloodied, a talon embedded impossibly deep. itās not the type of thing that breathes or expands in languid pulsations; it grasps and digs and pours, flooding you with its delusion.
but a mouthpiece for mania.
love is the world satoru sees through his six eyes, all contained and divided in his left eye and right ā his eros, one called ardor ź°with its three eyes: mania, pragma, and ludus ź±, and ares ź°with its three eyes: alecto, tisiphone, and megaera ź±.
love is the thick, enchanted fabric that serves as a holding for them both.
cupidās quiver, thatās what the other gods taunt ā but still, their breaths catch in their throats if he motions to pull off the sheath, to unleash the world he sees on all of the others in quick and inescapable shots, the tips of blue and red eros mingling and devouring until the world is made hollow by an incendiary purple.
of course, he stops himself and forbids such an outcome.
after all, love is patient; love is kind.
but of course, he rivals with the temptation of it, too.
after all, love is greedy; love is evil.
as long as he loves, there will always exist a degree of love that is something akin to hatred.
truth be told, more than anything, satoru hates the gods and wishes he could leave them all to crumble under the weight of his influence, but he doesnāt want to be stuck with managing the chaos he would create with his otherwise innocent glances. and the old gods would surely try to punish him even more.
he canāt find the adoration in dancing around destruction. thereās no delight in dysfunction. as such, he canāt bring himself to fold in a despicable and foolish fashion.
instead, he both hides and dwells in a comfort zone ā a place thatās more a margin between worlds, crafted just for him by kenjaku the phanes himself, a limbo of sorts he can stretch at will. he calls it his infinity, an endless space where he chooses to gaze upon both the mortal world and the divine. it keeps him out of harmās way, keeps him from being made into a weapon, and keeps him from making grave mistakes like falling prey to the devastation of his own curses again.
heās not immune to a desire and need for love. he tries to satisfy his urges by living vicariously through others and satiates his impulses of distaste through semi-harmless trickery.
sometimes, he tugs the left side of his quiver and lets out a soft call to signal his favorite eros, ardor.
ź° when thereās no will, which of its eyes will peek falls to the whims of the eros. ź±
āred,ā heāll breathe it quietly, eyes locked on a target.
heāll feel the pressure building in the center of his eye for only a moment before a shining strip of red gleams across the space between him and his target, his eros piercing through time and space to reach its mark. when it hits ā depending on the strength of his eros and which of its eyes he wills to gaze ā it gives the mark a burst of affection, a rush of hormones, a flutter in their chest that explodes into unyielding devotion, or perhaps, it merely sows the seeds for love to flourish and ferment ā ardor does have a bias for yearning.
other times, he calls himself distributing āfair misfortuneā by finding individuals undeserving of ardorās loving embrace and instead making them familiar with its cold shadow, his other eros, ares.
āblue,ā heāll whisper as if afraid to be heard in the cube of his eternal silence.
heāll carefully lift the fabric over his right eye, the building of the same pressure but thicker, and heāll watch his spiteful eros seethe and slice through anything to reach its mark. it offers only distaste on the tip of the tongue of your desired, a petulant weapon that embodies all of existence with the smallest degree of love.Ā
all that remains is anger and confusion, disgust and despair, revulsion and repulsion.
neither of his eros ever misses a shot, but these are delights heās only supposed to indulge in sparingly, and harmlessly.
that is, until right now, as he stands in front of yuki the aphrodite, staring at her beautifully crude expression with disdain. he tries to process her odd request.
āyou want me to do what now?ā satoru asks again, face bunching in perplexity.
yuki sighs, evidently agitated by satoruās response and demeanor. sheās always been a peculiar goddess to him, always adored and admired but never understood. no one could ever make sense of her motives, and for being the embodiment of beauty and pleasure, satoru has never seen her act in light of a beautiful spirit or intent.
her poise gleams with a chimerical radiance but satoru knows her heart is a shadowless void.
in front of him, she lies prettily across pearly marble, draped in robes threaded by the shimmer of stars the astraeus personally plucked from the cosmos for her. yukiās light-colored hair flows in fluffy waves that sink to the floor, a perfect golden river to watch flow down.
āyou heard me. find the mortal girl choso dares to claimās beauty can rival mine and shoot her with one of your little eros, make her fall in love with a pig or something ā nothing cute, either, something ugly and brutish, one that smells of grime ā and return to me so i can see for myself.ā
the aphrodite is ruled by her pride, by her demand to be revered and highly regarded, acknowledged for power with only insidiousness to show for it.
satoru believes gods that practice no restraint and show no mercy exemplify the very things he detests about his precious blue eros, his ares. at least ares is contained, albeit forcibly. satoruās eyes are glistening, crystalline prisons each of his eros lives behind.
āi see youāve lost your mind to vanity entirely.ā satoru grumbles. āi wonāt be doing that.ā
āwhat?ā yuki sneers, nose squishing in irritation.
with a sympathetic hum, satoru shakes his head. āi wonāt be doing that and iām insulted youād think to even ask me ā or rather, demand of me. iām not one of your little things, yuki.ā
satoru stands upright, shoulders squared as he sees yuki clearly through the fabric covering his eyes. heās immune to her wiles with his quiver, heās found.
but still, she makes him unbearably nervous.
āsatoru, do you forget who you speak to? i am beauty and pleasure embodied! you would really think to reject my request?ā
he looks around for a moment. āuhā¦yes. do you forget who you speak to? if youāre beauty and all the subsequent notions, why do you even care how a mortal girlās prettiness measures?ā
āwell,ā she huffs, sitting upright, a perfect pout on her lips that any other man would become a pool of liquid over. āchoso believes such a thing. choso.ā
confused, satoru just stares. āand thatās negating your divinely bestowed perfection how?ā
yukiās frustration erupts and a cloudy fluff comes flying at his head. satoru doesnāt flinch and doesnāt move as the object hits the barrier of his infinity, and then the floor, in a soundless heap.
āif you, a literal love god, canāt fathom why i donāt want chosoās eyes to stray from me, then youāre no god but a pitiful fool!ā she wails.
satoru sighs. āi have more important things to do in that realm than help you bully mortal girls at your discretion for taking one of your many loversā attention away from you without knowing you exist.ā
yuki clicks her tongue and rolls her eyes. āyou do nothing there worth mentioning. you merely fooled kenjaku the phanes into making you a precious domain to dwell in. youāre perfectly protected from everything while nothing is protected from you, if you donāt want them to be. donāt mock me when youāre a coward fashioned as a god.ā
satoru didnāt fool kenjaku, per se, but he certainly exploited his favor by exaggerating the peril associated with his capacity, so much so that kenjaku the phanes gave him a prison realm to lock himself in or free himself from at will. he goes into it habitually with a thick will but seldom contains the will to be released.
it is for his safety; it is for the safety of others. but itās more a place he can breathe freely without the fear and disdain others regularly teem with when near him.
he can feel all of it, and does.
being a god does not make him indestructible to the irrational whims of emotion. in fact, satoru would argue that being a creature of loveās spectrum means he is the irrational whims of emotions.
ź° he can never teeter too far in either direction, lest kenjaku take the privilege of his will from infinity; then, heāll only have endless imprisonment. of course, satoru can never let the other gods know of this clause, as heās certain theyāll betray him before geto the heliosās sun sets across the pillowy skies. ź±
the other gods are bitter, but satoruās unusual manifestation of his divine might is deeply concerning.
ź° when he was born, gods gouged out their eyes to be free of his gaze, to be liberated from the understanding that whether his eros of madness or bliss would strike is unknown, but the degree of its damage is devastation and ruin. brilliance followed by a rapid decay. he only controls them with his quiver. should it be taken, it would set all of chaos free in every blink. ź±
so, what yuki says isnāt false, but it isnāt true, either.
any other time, satoru would have left the vain aphrodite unfulfilled and physically shaking with the pain of his rejection, but today, satoruās interest is admittedly piqued.
what mortal could possibly surpass beauty and grace itself?
āiāll go see this girl, and if sheās of threat, iāll indulge your dreadful desires, but if sheās nothing short of a mortal girl who commits no crime against humanity nor divinity by challenging your appearance ā which iām certain of ā thenā¦iāll simply leave you to suffer the same fate as toji the apollo for wasting my time.ā
her eyes go wide at the sight of his nonchalant shrug and she gasps. āyou! you beast of a man! honestly! you preach and prattle about this and that only to threaten to use your eros to make my lover despise me and repel my presence after making me lovesick for them? i can be no worse than you.ā
āobjectively false, you can. and are. but itās irrelevant to argue.ā he grouses with a deep sigh. āi regretfully askā¦what do you know of her?ā
satoruās sickened by both the perfection and menace in her grin, but yuki lulls her head back to bask in the warmth of geto the heliosā sun.
the first time he sees you, it feels a little jarring.
guided by the hands of getoās sun, satoru finds you quickly. his awe ricochets around his spirit, bouncy and delighted, but his gaze on you ā everything about you is pristine, vivid and vibrant. it stirs something in him, makes his chest erupt with fluttering feelings and feathery tickles.
for a being born of the flawed, youāre too close to perfect. youāre the furthest from aphrodite and yet, your own charms are whimsical and songlike, your aura chiming around you in a sweet symphony that falls upon his spirit and strikes him with wonder.
inside of a large building where the art of painters and sculptors alike are displayed, an ode to the apollo no doubt, you wander tirelessly with a chipper smile on your face and a skip in your step.
your joy never falters and neither do you.
your eyes are twinkling like you woke and strung the flickers of dying stars inside them for good measure. giddy, cheeks full with elation like youāre gluttonous for it.
you smile and smile, and everyone smiles with you, for you, because of you. admirably charming, hands sweep around you in a flurry while your mouth makes shapes and babbles out words he canāt make out. satoru gauges your context through rigourous observation: the motions of your arms, the twitch of your smile, the little spark of curiosity in your eyes or the determination that combusts there, too.
for a blink, satoru understands yukiās frustrations with your existence.
he stands there, a dreadful stirring in his heart, emotions twisting and knotting until they squeeze tight in his gut and make his right eye thrum.
all of these people get to speak to you. their ears get to taste the drizzling honey of your voice. they get to receive the unfurling tenderness in their hearts from direct eye contact with you. it makes him feel ill, disgustingly ill.
right away, he hates it. he becomes the pinnacle of what it means to detest.
he does understand that such feelings are unreasonable, but neither love nor war is a source of reason, only madness.
so of course, in self-interest and personal eccentricities ź° with a pinch of spite toward yuki the aphrodite to sate the crueller parts of him ź±, he decides to watch you, to observe you closely and with great focus. for a moment, he becomes your adoring shadow, hiding within infinityās soundless clutch where you canāt hear or see him and heās only able to capture faint murmurs of you.
heās grateful he can see you, that no matter where you go, he can simply follow.
with his limits, of course.
ź° heās no sukuna the zeus and certainly no yuki the aphrodite. ź±
satoru can still admire you like this, enamored and elusive.
well, until heās standing next to you, glancing over your shoulder to read the same words you do and imagining the embosoming sound of your voice as you read them, when you turn to face him.
you jolt and jump, a feathery yelp, then immediately look up at him with a soft smile, blinking to reclaim the loss in your composure. your lips are misshapen by the fright you swallow down as you take notice of him.
āoh goodness! you scared me. d-do you need help with anything?ā
satoru stands there, dazed and stupefied for a few reasons:Ā
one. you can see him, which means he let his will to keep his infinity standing tall waver.
two. your voice is drenched in silky allure, a touch of benevolence over a thick layer of compassion.
three. youāre utterly bewitching, a spellbinding loveliness that lingers.
four. he can sense your saffron ghost seeping into spaces it shouldnāt; he knows the scent of you will be what haunts him.
a small gasp, your words threaded by worry as you cautiously place a hand on his arm. āsir, do you have a visual impairment? did you lose your aid?ā
āno, no,ā satoru breathes. āi see quite clearly. my eyesā¦theyāreā¦sensitive.ā
you blink, riddled with confusion. āsensitive?ā
taking in his words, you hurriedly take a step back from him, a flimsy infinity of your own to keep him out. heās no sukuna, so heāll respect the obvious boundary youāre placing.
āthenā¦ā your voice trails, quieter now, a lullabyās endeavor, cautious but calculating as you observe him. āis there something youāre looking for?ā
and satoru isnāt entirely certain why, but he feels bashful, embarrassed, and ashamed.
the tint of roseate spills across his face, filling the point of his nose and cheeks. then, in an instant, heās gone from your vision, safely tucked behind a thick wall of space and time, watching your eyes go round with astonishment, paralyzed and unable to speak.
he watches you blink at the spot he stood for a few minutes before you slowly reach your hand out and run it through the space. satoru, amused but still flustered, canāt fight the breathy chuckle that tumbles out of him.
he watches the alarm contort your face, finding your deep state of confusion adorable by every perceivable measure.
a beauty that rivals that of the aphrodite? no, one that surpasses it.
ACT II. A GARDEN IN WHICH ONLY MANIA BLOOMS.
love is blind but it sees all; love is protection, love is obsession. it snarls as much as it sings. it bares teeth to smile and to bite down.
love is blind, but it sees all; love is an open palm, love is a tight fist. it clings to only notions that mean it will persist.
SATORU.
satoru feels that keeping his closeness is inevitable.
his presence becomes more like a game he plays with you. you wander around and he matches your every step, a lingering thing that follows you pathetically and waits for you to look for him, waits for your inquisitive, questioning eyes to sweep the span of the room in knowing suspicion, remembering him and his interesting marvels.
his disappearing acts.
aside from that, he can feel the way your heart yearns for an explanation, as desire is a direct line to he and the favor of ardor.
his heart thumps each time heās flooded with the feeling of your meek tug on him. the warmth of you is always everywhere then, filling and shaping around his bones.
he likes to appear before you when he catches you ruminating about him, when you wrestle with your notions in your lonesome as if to breed the thought that he was summoned by you rather than obsessively taking every step with you.
he only does it when youāre at this place where your labor is kindness and assistance, watching you relentlessly. only when youāre here, only when you come to this altar where toji the apollo himself would weep at the worship mortals have made of his artistic devotions. only when you willfully become part of this public spectacle. it feels fair and respectfully intrusive.
since weāre all here to observe you.
thatās his discipline with himself, how he stops his heart from rotting from the pleasures of luxuriating in the sight of you, how he stops ardor or ares from making a mess of his divinity entirely, both monsters but harmless so long as he maintains his sanity.
a smirk as his infinity dissolves. āare you thinking about me again?ā
satoru never tires of the way you squeak when he casually unveils himself. only fondness ferments in his chest when your eyes widen and your hands fly over your mouth to conceal the sound of sharp surprise. you always stare at him in awe for a moment.
āyou,ā you murmur, your hand pointing right at him.
satoru sighs with a smile. āme,ā
he watches you go through the motions of disbelief ā slapping your own face and pinching your cheeks to test the limits of your dreams.
āwhy do you keep doing this?ā you inquire in distress, brows furrowed as you clutch your head in your hands. āare you a ghost?ā
satoru canāt fight the way his lips curl into a smile as he cracks a heart-shimmering laugh. āyou think iām an apparition?ā
āi donāt know what i think!ā you whisper harshly, eyes pointing around the perimeter as you fear being heard talking to yourself. again. āokay? but thereās no way youāre real. iām losing it.ā
āreal or false, you worry about the wrong things, i fear.ā he informs you as he rests in a seat. āi keep telling you exactly who i am.ā
you give him a hard look, one that he adores as much as the smile you reserve for your patrons, and you snort. āas if i believe youāre the love god, cupid.ā
ācupid is such a weak-willed name you mortals have plagued me with. even the other gods spite me over it. itās nowhere near as bolstering as satoru the eros, love and warās divine archer.ā he announces himself in a wistful voice that makes the corner of your mouth subtly twitch.
your face painted in feigned surprise, you ask, āyou? a divine archer?ā
āyes, me. a divine archer. is that amusing?ā his head leans to the side as he notes your biting smile.
āno, no,ā you shake your head. āitās justā¦you donāt seem like the kind with good aim? you know, perpetual blindfold and all.ā
satoru huffs a laugh. ālooks are as deceiving as love and war.ā
āhmā¦ā you look him over critically, a finger resting against your chin before you motion at his body. āif youāre cupid and an archer, whereās your bow? and your arrows? wings? why arenāt you more cherub-like?ā
satoruās lips curl and curve in disgust of your notion. ācherub-like? iād rather die. i donāt need your useless, manmade tools. my eyes are my bow; the eyes of my eyes are my arrows. this perpetual blindfold is a quiver that holds them, lest i douse the world in the devoted delusions of love in its totality and leave it bleeding out war, an endless wound that cannot dissolve until nothing is left. you would never want to see my wings. it would mean the aforementioned.ā
baffled and mortified, thatās how his tactless remarks leave you. you awkwardly squeak and clamp your lips shut tight, looking down as your eyes squint in confusion.
āiā¦forget i asked.ā you jostle your head as if to shake away the memory of his admission. āeven if you actually are cupid, your true titleās too long. carving it in stone and etching it in gold wouldāve been a big hassle for such a morbid freak.ā
satoruās eyes narrow, masked by his quiver. āare you mocking me, pretty thing?ā
āconsidering i think iāve lost my mind, iām mocking myself.ā you grumble and grip your head. āhow do i make you go away? how do i get you out of my mind?ā
he hums, a finger tapping on his chin before he shrugs and chirps, āyou donāt.ā
you pause, cocking your head to the side. āwhat do you mean?ā
āi meanā¦ā he stands and stretches to his full height. āiāve taken an interest in you, and i donāt see myself growing apathetic anytime soon. the scandal of it all is thrilling enough; everyone in the olympus murmurs about the mortal girl that supposedly rivals even aphroditeās beauty, but only myself and two others have actually seen you. i canāt say iāve had my fill of being greedy with you.ā
for a moment youāre quiet, staring at him as you take in his words. then, you clutch your gut as you begin bellowing. you laugh so loudly it startles him. it sends him into the center of a blossoming, though, an abrupt descent. the sound of it makes his heart burst with a fondness so sweet, his head feels airy and light. if you could see his eyes, you would witness the moment he falls into a pool of ensnared devotion and drowns.
instead, you hear him huff as his palms curl into tender fists.
ānow i know youāre lying.ā you say through giggles. āis this an elaborate pick-up scheme? me, a rival of aphroditeās beauty? who says that?ā
even his irritation is polluted by admiration and passion. āitās only the truth. you caught the eye of choso the aether. thatās one of the gods the aphrodite enjoys tinkering with so itās left her feeling embarrassed and looked down on. she wants me to have a look at youā¦and humble you.ā
āh-humble me?ā you sputter nervously, every spark of humor dying on your breath.
it doesnāt take an oracle to determine the conclusion you arrive at.
satoru shakes his head, stepping closer out of instinct. of course, you arenāt aware of how grossly comfortable heās become ingulding in your proximity.
he rests a palm on your head, the weight of it making you groan. āyour pretty head is full of useless worries. iāll never harm you in any way.ā
itās the first time satoru truly touches you.
everything sings; everything shines. all of it shimmers.
your brows bunch and your nose wrinkles, an adorable habit he stores away. āthenā¦are you really just here to watch me?ā
āeh, no,ā he shakes his head, grinning. āiām intended to make you fall in love with something as hideous and unsightly as yukiās bruised perception wishes you were, but iāve decided i wonāt indulge her antics of vanity this time.ā
he pats your head and withdraws, afraid to take too much too soon, afraid for his already consuming desire to become so willfully edacious.
you give him a pointed look but your eyes never leave him. ābut youāll indulge yourself?ā
satoru grins and gives a simple response, one he stuffs to its brim with rhapsody and playfulness as it slips from his lips. āwithout hesitation. i didnāt find you first but iāll be the one to keep you.ā
āwho knew a love god would be so shameless.ā
his response is a recital, an avowal memorized in its every angle by his tongue, without falter, something embedded he exhumes just to dedicate to you.
large hands cradle your face, his voice a poem unraveling, ālove is blind but it sees all; love is pride, love is humility. it stands, stretched to the full height of its glory, and it kneels, sinking into the depths of its reverence.ā
satoru watches your moony expression form and his lips curve.
āyou donāt even know me.ā you murmur, wispy and uncertain but still coated in captivation.
quipped from a clever god, āthen tell me what you want me to know. iāll master you ā mind, body, and spirit. whatever you wish.ā
you stare, concern filling your every breath, tainting every second you spend peering into him. blinking, you watch him before your eyes flicker down. āthisā¦this isnāt real. it canāt be.ā
āso you circle back to doubt?ā satoru snickers, pulling away from you as he observes you with a cocked head. āhave i truly not convinced you of my existence? surely you donāt believe if i were an apparition that you, in all your naivety and mortality, would even have the means to perceive me.ā
your face drops, possibly insulted by truth. āare you calling me weak and stupid?ā
āweak? yes. although, you really canāt help it. you mortals are born a frail people. stupid? i wouldnāt assign such an attribute to you, no.ā
you huff, indignant, and look off to the side. āwhatever youāre implying, i resent it.ā
āyouāre merely human. you have shortcomings you canāt help and sight in which you lack. not to ring the horn of hubris, but should you not show gratitude to a god that chooses you to gaze upon him?ā
you stare at him blankly before asking ā no, sneering, āshould i have to show gratitude for being followed home and watched?ā
a foolish grin. āiāve never followed you home. rest assured, i keep a tight grip on my own vices. i try to behave from time to time.ā
āis that so?ā you grumble, disbelieving.
āit is so.ā satoru sighs, his tone resolute and carved out of his disgust. āiām a god of love, not of perversities. iām no sukuna the zeus. i would rather you think me an apparition, a falsehood, than be thrown into a cast of similarities with him.ā
thereās traces of a laugh bubbling up, but you cough it away, much to satoruās amusement. āisā¦zeus as awful as the myths say?ā
āit depends on what they say, but heās likely worse.ā satoru grouses in disdain.
sukuna the zeus is not one with an ounce of good or mercy in his heart. born a monster of a god with a taste for man, sukuna has shown he only wishes to watch all the realms move to the tune of his malevolent volatility.
you take a breath and plop down to rest in your chair at the small personal table. āi canāt believe this is my life. sitting in my office talking to a love god about the sincere realities of mythology and deities.ā
he hums, perching himself on the corner of the table. ādoes this not make you blessed?ā
ābeing followed around sounds closer to a curse.ā
he lies, because love is honest but love is deceiving. āi have important duties to tend to, iāll have you know. i donāt waste all my spare time observing your precious whims.ā
itās a blatant, seething lie, a vibrant and colorful one heāll parade as the truth to preserve his pride.
he does waste all his spare time observing your every whim.
heās honest in his commutes, not ever following you home outside the walls of this dimly-lit den. although, the desire to eats away at him. ares howls frequently in the night.
thereās force in the pull your passing thoughts have on him, but he can never tell you how you leave indents in his spirit whenever you think of him, whenever you ruminate on your musings of his eyes, your irrepressible thirst to see them and name their pigment, when youāre lost in your wonderings of him, when you yearn for his peculiar presence.
all of it makes him putty. all of it squeezes and stretches him. all of it changes his shape.
āw-well, if youāre going to keep this up, i obviously canāt stop you. i ask that you maintain respectful boundaries, including not appearing so abruptly before me.ā
satoru merely smiles down at you āsmittenā absolutely adoring you in every way. āi willā¦abide by whatever words you wish to use as chains to keep me here.ā
emboldened by your charm and indulging a bit too much in his own ardorās blissful blood, satoru grabs your hands, cradles them in his own as he peers into your glittering eyes.
itās then that he notices the way you look back at him as if you can see right through every barrier heās made, every one that was forced on him, every one he hid behind. right to the core of him.
it feels like although he controls the war brewing in his irises by tucking his weapons behind a sheath, he doesnāt have to hide.
not from you.
he conceals his eyes but you look at him as if they gaze bare.
satoru brings your soft fingers to his lips, supple flesh tingling against your hands with the soothing vibrations of the cosmos.
āi willā¦ā he breathes. āā¦adore you, if you allow me. protect you with my life. make your heart as immortal as mine in the way i only speak eternal devotion over you.ā
enchanted, your lips part and he feels the way yearning passes through first in a soft pant. he feels you pulling on him, tugging on his heartstrings. making his eros tremble. ardorās will to pledge fealty to the flutter of your lashes as you wake; aresā promise to ravage all that oppose or threaten you.
instead of accepting his declaration, you ask, āw-whatās so special about me? what do you do thatās so uninteresting that you wouldā¦adore me, of all things. of all people.ā
what does he do in the time heās away?
a sleepless god, he waits until you leave for rest to find other things to do. he goes where love calls him, where it pulls him closer and begs for his embrace.
āi love, of course. i do my best to keep war from erupting as a result of it by helping others love in doses. i watch, mostly. sometimes i play.ā
you ask, with an airy tone of confusion, āplay?ā
he nods.
āas iām a war god, i have to release my inevitable frustrations somewhere. gently, of course. i wouldnāt want to leave the world in ruinā¦again.ā satoru chuckles, soft lips leaving feathery kisses all along your fingers.
one. two. three blinks. a frantic whisper. āleaveā¦the world in ruin? again?ā
suddenly, you pull your hands from his grasp and he lets them slip through. he isnāt surprised by your reaction. in retrospect, perhaps he should have eased you into that fact. you seem to be in disbelief over his identity already.
āwell, yes. there was a time when i was a young god that traipsed the heavens and below causing all the trouble i could with my eros. iāve matured so donāt concern yourself with my past.ā
itās then that the door swings open to your office. as fast as they push through, satoruās infinite prison is up. the sudden streams of voices become muffled, dull and blurry.
he watches you, a look of deep contempt taking his expression as you keep glancing right where he stands ā when you could see him before these new mortals came to interrupt ā before they bulldozed through to steal your eyes and attention away from him again.
gritted teeth and a clenched fist, this is how heās left to stand.
ares simmers at the slight of it all, the derogative undertones in satoru not having you to himself when he wants and having to accept such a condition without qualms.
satoru adores you, thinks the words you speak make you shine brighter than getoās sun. he thinks the way you smile would make yuki the aphrodite vengeful. but he hates being at the mercy of you and your fragille, mortal dealings. he wants you back right now.
ardor soothes him, reminds him of his commandments while he waits and watches you tensely. like a mantra, he hears it over and over until his breathing steadies.
love is blind but it sees all; love is tender smiles and loosened flesh, love is temperance and tolerance. it is the willingness we make labors of.
it doesnāt take much time before satoru becomes visibly perturbed by the constant intrusions and obligations that stand in the way of the words he wants to hear flutter from your lips, velvet petals of sweet sentiment falling softly over him.
instead, his efforts are often interrupted, often put on hold or silenced to tend to the incompetence of your underlings.
itās becoming tiresome; he makes no move to hide his grievance.
he tells himself to breathe. he can feel something monstrous and thick filling his gut. a sludge of an emotion, weighing on all of him, stickiness slinking up the cavity of his torso, caching all of him.
it takes every modicum of his will not to be petulant and do the same with you, pull you into the walls of his infinity, an extension of the loverās prison, so only he has the privilege of gazing over the object of his affection and obsession.
you ā the one who inspires the poetry in his blood to boil.
ares hums within him, makes his right eye feel heavy, delighted by the envious rush and what it makes satoru envision.
sheāll never have the time i deserve with her, that belongs to me. it would be an easy problem to solve.
sheāll hate me of my own accord.
of course, ardor reminds him of loveās addictive embrace, to loosen his grip to maintain his strong footing. acts of war are easy, but acts of love feel better.
he prefers it.
he prefers you. to all others. he knows what it means to have you and the sacrifice that comes with keeping you. a pretty and sparkling treasure, laden with novelty for him to marvel at and little mechanisms that make him feel content. together.
he takes a deep breath, and finds himself unclenching his hands as he sits, stretching his fingers to loosen the tension. satoru closes his eyes; he meditates on ardorās fervent whispers which usually he subdues to know mental clarity and peace.
love is patient; love is kind. love holds the weight of its temptations.
in contrast, ares seethes.
love is imposing; love is momentum. love holds the weight of its triumphance. it never cowers in the face of restraint.
satoru sighs and drowns out their never-ending bickering.
satoru watches how time trudges on, and stretches itself thin between the two of you. he remains ardent and attached, endlessly and proudly devoted to you.
the sticky feeling comes back one late afternoon when satoru dutifully follows you into the elevator, unseen and unheard. as he does each day to bid you a silent goodbye, squeezing out every second of your presence he can.
all things follow their natural rhythm ā until, the presence of another lingers for no reason. he smiles too endearingly at you, and touches your shoulder too casually.
satoru can feel it rolling off this man, obviously an underling, but has no boundaries in how he approaches you. clearly above him in every facet, satoruās distaste and resentment bubble to life, face scrunching up in disgust.
the man reeks of it, his fondness for you. his longing.
in his infinity, he dwells in swelling silence, his insides in tightly-wound knots. satoruās chest rises and falls ā his stiffened shoulders, too. ares bursts to life when he sneers, angry eyes zoned in on the wretched man.
the audacity to desire her so openly while being so weak and undeserving.
for a moment, satoruās fingers twitch. he shouldnāt do it. he told himself that he wouldnāt with you, never with you.
and yet, satoru canāt help the way he reaches up and pinches the top half of his quiver, the barrier that holds in the rapture his gaze would cause to dawn on all that exists. he does his best to keep the effects small, hardly noticeable but effective. peeling down the cover of his quiver, calling on ares eye of megaera, his eros of disgust, satoru watches a blue stripe swipe across the air, penetrate through all it must, and catch you on the left side of your neck.
you donāt wince, but when it hits you, your eyes blink rapidly, as if just given some injection that you feel shooting into your veins.
as you stand before him, satoru watches with satisfaction as your eyes ā once alight with delight and trading even the faintest drop of desire ā go dark and dull. your facial expression falls, your smile fading and emptiness taking its place. a grin spreads across his face, pleased now.
he isnāt sure what you say but he watches the manās eyes widen slightly before his brows crinkle in confusion and you offer him a professional salutation, your body language straight and alert, then you walk right around the underling, continuing on with a slight roll of your shoulders, shaking off aresā excess, heās sure.
what is one more secret?
and yes, satoru will tuck it away with him, another truth he hides under the pink of his tongue with glee.
love is honest, love is true; love has no need to tremble behind the cowardice of manipulation.
and for a moment, satoru does feel guilty.
but when you exit the building, he waits for a moment and appears right next to you, his infinity down. he doesnāt usually try to pass the boundaries but as you walk away, his feet continue to follow, as if their departure is beyond his will.
āif youāre thinking of following me home, donāt.ā you grumble sharply, picking up the speed in your steps. āthe nerve,ā
satoruās head tilts to the side in wonder.Ā
are you aware?
āiāll stay here, if you wish.ā satoru says, stopping just at the edge of the property. āiāll be here when you return tomorrow.ā
when you hear his voice, you pause and turn to face him. you seem shocked to see him, perhaps regarding his presence as the underling he handcrafted your fresh disgust toward.
you blink, the edge on your voice dissipating as you reply. āiā¦i didnāt think iād see you again today.ā
satoru takes a careful step forward. āi didnāt know you wished to. i only planned to watch you leave, but you seemed particularlyā¦upset.ā
for a moment, you just stand there. satoru takes your contemplation and tilts his head back, basking in the warmth of the heliosā vibrant sun and grins to himself, feeling his insides ablaze with his admittedly orchestrated glory. he can feel you tugging on his heartstrings, of course he can. especially when itās all for him.
ādonāt want me too much or i might start getting the wrong idea, pretty thing.ā
bashful, you shy away, tilting your face with the softest sigh. he doesnāt mean to make you nervous but heās had enough of playing coy and never fully defining the lines of which your boundaries are drawn or willing to stretch.
cautiously, his hands clutch your shoulders, nearly breathless from the warmth in his belly, nearly dizzy from feeling himself grant your desires and resolve your yearning.
you want him to touch you; you want daring fingers to ghost along your skin.
but his touches now are more innocent in fashion, fond at best.
ātell me what you want, pretty.ā he murmurs, his hidden eyes gazing over the features of your face, a thick thumb brushing over your plump lip. āiāve chosen to adore you, so naturally iāll give you anything of which you desire and derive pleasure.ā
you donāt notice when his infinity reaches out to hold you, to cradle your frame. you donāt notice that the sounds of the world around you muffle and go numb, sucked into his embrace that stretched on through eternity.
soft and feathery, your response flutters, āyou can walk home with me, but iā¦i wonāt let you inside.ā
ardorās spirit blazes within him ā emboldened and vivacious, ready to relish in new proximity.
a chuckle rumbles in his chest; a sly grin spreads across his lips. āany time spent in the presence of my beloved is time i deeply cherish.ā
youāre flustered ā hot face and wet lips, side-swiped eyes and a wary glance. but still, you walk alongside him, snug in his infinity, step by step.
ACT III. THE DILIGENCE OF PRAGMAāS EMBRACE.
love is blind, but it sees all; love is expansive, love is all-consuming. it takes even the shape of nothingness, clings to its empty form, and stretches it further.
love is blind, but it sees all; love is faith, love is lingering. it would wait an eternity at an entrance it knows with unearned certainty will open.
SATORU.
time flows on, and satoru weaves himself around adoration with ease, your name a flowering breath on his lips whenever the time permits.
you entertain his senseless notions. you wait for him, more voracious and fervid as days move along, as if itās all you ever have to do. your melodic laughter travels down the beautiful marble-plated halls, the waves of its sound etched into the ridges of intricate designs that decorate the ceiling and line the floors.
he tunes his infinity to your perception, stretching it around the whole of you, making it wider to mold around the specificities of your shape, around the breathiness of your voice.
an endless indention in himself just for you.
all so the symphonic outburst of your elation is only his to hear, his joy to cultivate and claim. all naturally, too. he thinks he adores that most about you.
loving you is a natural reaction to mingling with your existence.
the fondness and affection that seeps out of you when he lets himself freely feel your call remains untouched by his divine eyes. he keeps them securely imprisoned behind his quiver. he swears heāll never let them touch you again since his last provocation.
he doesnāt need to anymore. he has so much of your attention that he no longer reasons the necessities of envy, jealousy, or spite of all things.
but still, indulgent as ever, heāll always take as much of you as youāre willing to give.
gluttony is as fair as war in love, to him.
āare you nearly ready to go?ā satoru grumbles, watching as you make furious clacking noises at your desk. āall this dreadful noise. what are you doing?ā
you snort. āiām typing. iām a museum director. i both receive and deliver emails.ā
āyour typing is tedious and the sound is awful. does it not annoy you in the slightest?ā
shrugging, your eyes never leave your screen. āitās just what iām used to. you should be used to the sound by now, considering you never go away while iām working.ā
āfalse,ā he protests with a pout. āi make myself scarce for your littleā¦conclaves.ā
your typing pauses and your eyes dart up to stare at him for a moment. āmy meetings are fundamental to my position here which, again, is fundaāā
āfundamental to your livelihoodā¦yes, yes, i know. we all know as you only force this mantra on us every chance that presents itself. youāre worse than ardor. are you not tired?ā
āof you? sometimes. of my job? yes.ā a short response as your typing resumes, tormenting him with enforced patience.
he shifts, sitting up in the tufted chair he always drags next to you and sinks down into to sulk about waiting for your attention.
ādo you prefer me over this place?ā is all satoru hears in your sometimes and inquires about. āwhat do you like most about me?ā
you laugh. ālike about you? nothing at all.ā
thereās a quiver in your words; you lie. of course you do, love is pride, after all.
satoru takes your hand, ever brave, ever dauntless. he brings your curved knuckles to his lips. any other time you would shake off his affectionate pestering, but your desire sings as you feel his lips graze over the ridges and dips of your fingers.
āwell, my most beloved, i like everything about you.ā
your body shifts and your head snaps in his direction, eyes lingering on him, curious and probing.
āis that so?ā
a terse nod. āit is so. i adore you. i love you. iāll linger here for as long as you do.ā
today, he hears something new. itās something small and playful, uttered under a meek tone and a thick blanket of apprehension, but he hears it ring true above it all ā the love.
āyou did swear to protect me, after all.ā
satoru smiles, strengthened by all the ways in which you make his heart weak. āof course, iāll commit to my devotions.ā
wispily. fluttering. adoringly you sigh, āas you should.ā
ardor and ares both coat his tone. āfor you, iāll do anything.ā
these days satoru walks you home; these days satoru slips inside quietly after you, your hand laced obligingly in his ā tugging and pulling, all pining and impatience.
closer. you always want him closer.
his hands are always greedy and grabby, taking what he wants in the name of pleasure, but they become gluttonous monsters when the door closes.
your hips are taut to his as he presses you to the wall, your cheek cold against the dull-toned paint and drywall, his warm tongue licking stripes from your collarbone up to your ear.
his pants huff into your ears, steamy and thick; your wet whimpers graze against the wall, all of it enticing him, making him grip you even harder ā one hand with fingers digging into your hips, one gripping your jaw to prep your lips for an engrossing kiss.
itās not enough but he canāt wait on enough.
satoru tugs you along to your bedroom, his muscles flexing and twitching with need. itās taking everything not to spread you wide on the hallway floor. once your bed is in sight, youāre pushed onto your back, your hands gripping the fabrics of his finely stitched robes to pull him down with you.
the thickness of satoruās knee is a median between your legs to keep them pried apart while his large body hovers. one arm above your head, the other gripping your hand and knotting your fingers in his.
ādo you know what youāve done to me?ā he breathes shakily, lips still pillowing over yours as he leans his forehead against your own. ādo you know how hard it was to resist you today?ā
āno, i donāt. tell me.ā playful words woven between passionate kisses.
his lips latch to your neck, grunting as he loses his silent battle with his urge to bite and pinch your skin. ānear impossible. you mortals are different. everything clings to you so perfectly. and all day. all day. all i could think of was getting my hands on you, caressing your curves, kissing every inch of you.ā
satoru wants to love you like this ā obsessively, indulgent to the point of painful, unbridled with need forged from greed. he laps at your neck, impish whines elicited from you with every motion.
āyou controlled yourself well. good boy.ā amusement and arousal blend together on your tongue; he wants to know the taste of it.
ādonāt patronize me like an animal.ā satoru grits, untangling your hands to hike up the fabric of your skirt and part your thighs. āiām a god, not your plaything, not your little pet.ā
wit unrelenting, he can hear the smirk on your lips. āwellā¦you do follow me around like a lost puppy.ā
āif i went anywhere else, my love would surely have a fit.ā he muses, nipping at your neck with playful force, making you yelp underneath him.
lips trail down with ease and your fingers slide into thick, pearly tufts. āthis is true. maybe i should get you a leash.ā
āhush,ā he growls, biting you in spite.
you tug his hair, pulling the god by his nape, granting you a lewd sound, a mewl so slick and pathetic it wets the air. his mouth collides with yours in a sloppy kiss, tongues lapping over the other, a whimpering mess as he tears away at the intricately woven robes that always drown him. it reveals all of him to you: every curve of his build, the long and toned limbs, broad-shouldered and big, every inch of thickness in his muscles, the glaze of lust that glistens in the way all of him flexes with every staggered breath.
you get all of him. leaking length and all.
the fabric of your skirt bundled up the top of your thighs, your legs parted before him ā his hands canāt help but wander in curiosity and delight. ardor compels him to hold you close, to keep your skin flush against his, a warmth he can sigh into. ares compels him to grab and grip and claw the pleasure right out of your body to claim for himself, doomed to the brutality and ferocity of need.
āi donāt mean to be impatient, but i donāt want to wait anymore. i canāt.ā he rasps and whines. āi canāt wait. i need to feel you around me.ā
thatās as much forewarning as he can give before he yanks down your panties and pushes his way between slick folds, a relieved moan as he buries himself inside and grips your thigh for steadiness, releasing it once he establishes a slow but thorough rhythm. each time his thrusts carry him back into you, your moans fill the air and your hands travel needily down his back.
āmy love,ā he breathes shakily.
satoru nuzzles his face into your neck, panting heavily as he moves his hips slowly, enjoying the tepid feeling of your walls and the pleasure of tight embrace. he bites down, needy teeth seeking grounding, and grunts from the feeling of unyielding bliss blossoming in his gut.
a soft mewl, tender and hesitant. ās-satoru,ā
āperfect.ā he sighs, his hips melting into yours. ālet me hear you.ā
and you do. only a language of urgency spoken between your bodies, the bed a culture of devotion and cacoethes. your hands, ever-enthused maunderers, travel through ivory tussocks and tug, oh so innocently, on the knot of fabric tied around the middle of his head.
he stiffens. his movements still but he breathes heavily. ādonāt.ā
he moves his palm from grasping and clutching the meat of your thigh, now reaching to wrangle in the explorations of one of your trespassing hands. he locks his fingers around yours, hips rocking while he brings them to his lips, kitten licks accompanied by a chorus of both your whines.
āwhat? you never remove it. i want to see your eyes. youāre my lover.ā your voice is enchanted by love and inspired.
in love with him. truly and genuinely in love.
he can feel it fluxing and flowing throughout him, starting from his sternum, lotus-like and flowering, each time he pushes in, feeling your yearning explode inside him while you pulse around him.
the taste of adoration is sweet when he kisses you, too.
āi know.ā a tender mumble. ābut my eyes are unlike yours. i can stay by your side for all of time. i can make it so eternity never separates us, but you can never look into my eyes, okay?ā
your fingers squeeze his tight, but your voice is soft and shaky, trembling as you take his slow grinding. āis thisā¦a godās problem?ā
satoruās kisses are erratic and consumingāmixtures of plump pecks, a lapping tongue, and gentle tugs on your lips. the only constant is the ferocity of his panting: in your mouth, on your skin, in the dips and crevices of flesh he finds.
he nods as he keens and whispers, a twinge in his heart, āthis godās curse.ā
āokay.ā your free hand still clutching his hair, you grip and tug until he lifts his head to face you, all to leave a gentle kiss on his lips. āi love you. as long as i can have you by my side, i donāt have to see anything you donāt want me to see. iāll be curious, but i wonāt peek.ā
thereās a swelling in his chest that makes him think he may just burst, a rupture of exaltation and honor. full and clinging to new feelings of closeness. satoru chuckles and pecks your lips again and again, more pressure applied with each kiss to ensure his devotions are sealed by another.
āare you becoming sweet for me?ā
āiād rather die.ā the sneer in your voice becomes a sigh sung to the tune of ecstasy.
a giddy smile. another nip at your bruising flesh, a rush of love in the quickening pace of his hips.Ā
āyou knowā¦iāll never let that happen.ā
he feels it first in the dead of night, sukuna the zeus and his incessantly demanding calls, but he doesnāt leave right away. he canāt. youāre wrapped around him, limbs entangled with his as usual. youāre resting peacefully. your heart is calm.
he canāt ruin that. he wonāt.
your arms are locked around his frame, clutching him with all the strength you can. your breathing is steady and relaxed, head tucked under his chin. youāve been sleeping more, sleeping better, since he started staying. youāre more refreshed upon waking. your smile, already knee-weakening and dazzling in its composite to satoru, is even more brilliant, more authentic.
and truthfully, he isnāt ready to leave your grasp.
your hands are the only things that know how to hold him well.
theyāre calling and calling, reaching and reaching ā all the gods. he can feel the irritation of their desire to see him unfurling throughout his body, tainting the time he wants to spend being foolishly in love with you, and he subdues it.
heās not hiding out so much as heās settling in and making a home.
infinity is only fair if it includes you, too; reality is only full if it includes him. satoru spends a lot of time finding a fair balance between both.
sometimes he gets to hold you in the comfort of your room, his infinity a blanket over you both, spending the night staring into an ether and relishing in the pinnacle of safety he feels while you sleep. ardor fills him with hymns of new avowals, each like a little burst of accomplished joy, in marvel at its new, unique discoveries.
love is security. love is sanctuary. love is an idle season. love is stillness. love is ease. love is rest. love is staying even longer. love is waiting for tomorrow. love is hold me. love is let me.
when your eyes flutter awake, the sorrow cascades and drenches him.
itās harder for him to leave when youāre so committed to doing the things he adores, such as gracing the dawn of day with your waking breath and sleepy eyes, your languid movements, the way you tangle yourself more intricately with him.
āpretty thing,ā he dotes fondly.
satoru leaves a soft kiss on your forehead first. he drinks up your sigh, gentle and drowsy, then presses his next kiss to the tip of your nose. your morning eyes peer; he kisses both cheeks in tender succession.
you hum happily. āgāmorning.ā
āmine,ā hushed and sweet as he finally kisses your lips, lingering. āa gāmorning indeed.ā
you pout and narrow your eyes. āare you making fun of me? iāll kick you out.ā
āi would never.ā he mumbles in amusement. āi have to leave regardless. so take my love while you have the chance. donāt waste time being bratty about it.ā
he says it casually, the privilege of an immortal godās tongue at the prospect of time passing. but you freeze and stare with suddenly widened eyes.
āleaā¦ving?ā you murmur, head tilted as if confused by the word, as if averse to the feeling of it on your tongue. you sit up abruptly, looking at him in shock. āare you leaving me?ā
satoru could have cried from the fear in your voice. the slight quiver, the heightened pitch, and all the anguish swimming around your eyes in anticipation.
they glisten and all of him crumbles to dust.
ānot forever,ā he assures you and rises to embrace you. āiāll be back, but i do have to go and it might be for a while.ā
āwhat? satoru, what are you talking about? you never said anything about leaving.ā your voice is pained and ringing with betrayal. āso youāre just leaving?ā
he sighs deeply, keeping you up against his chest. āiāve been bothered for weeks now by other gods and now the zeus is involved. i canāt exactly ignore him despite wanting to.ā
āyou said you would stay by my side.ā
when satoru hears you sniffle, he tries to make sense of the shame he feels unravelling in his gut. he tries to understand how this might feel for you, insecurely attached to his presence but loving him this much despite it only to be told at random youāre being left for an unforeseeable amount of time.
he finds himself pleading because right now it feels like love is humility and love is kneeling.
āplease,ā he murmurs. āiāll be back. no matter what, iāll be back. donāt be angry with me. i love you so much. please.ā
somehow, it only makes the soft crying become longer and louder. āiām not crying because iām angry at you! iām crying because i wasnāt expecting it and iāll miss you.ā
it takes him one hour to tell you heāll miss you, too, without words and emotion betraying him. it takes two for him to be willing to peel himself away from you long enough to say goodbye.
he wonders if heāll recover from the feeling of you yearning for his return before he even fully departs.
ACT IV. BITE MARKS IN THE SHAPE OF MAGAERAāS DISGUST.
love is blind but it sees all; love is clarity, love is contradiction. it blurs the lines of lunacy and devoutness with intent ā lucid and deliberate ā all to live there.
YOU.
from the dawn of the week, everything is unusual.
first, satoru is called away to the olympus out of the blue and canāt fully disclose why. now gone for the third day with no contact, your anxiety is heightened and lengthened, wondering if it was all an elaborate dream bred of illness. then, your work days are full of random hiccups and hang-ups. all the odds are seemingly against you.
the only thing championing this experience is your ability to long for him.
now, as you arrive home, youāre met with the most peculiar sight.
a tall, paler woman, sparkling with beauty in the glimmer of the sun, with long and flowing locks of gold that reach the ground; the tresses gleam, too. she stands as still as a statue and as beautiful as any artwork, her every feature chiselled to perfection. as you walk up to your door, her eyes catch you and a slow smile stretches across supple lips.
captivating but daunting.
you notice her clothing, light and twisted white fabrics, the familiar and cosmic-looking twinkles woven into the seams. youāre instantly reminded of those intricate twists you watch satoru perform dutifully. you wonder, for a moment, if this is someone satoru knows ā a goddess, perhaps.
āuhā¦hello,ā you chirp sweetly, smiling just as prettily. you watch the womanās face go blank in an instant. all expression vanishes, her star-like eyes flittering with something you canāt quite name. awkwardly, your gaze darts before looking at her once more. āare you looking for someone?ā
for a moment, she merely observes you with a blank expression. but then, a soft tenderness tugs at her features, tugs at your heart to bear witness, and she smiles.
āyou must be the mortal thing thatās kept him hidden all this time.ā her voice is a song, sweet and melodic. so soothing you miss the way she sharply eyes you up and down, sneering. āthis is all?ā
she sounds confused in her asking, quiet for a moment, and then holding her curved waist tightly while her laughter becomes a symphony in the air around you. your heart dives into your gut, enamored by her presence and natural grace.
āhere i was thinking his extended absence was a witness of my disgrace but they were all useless worries. of course! i knew they would be. they must! yuki the aphrodite, the divine vessel of beauty and desire, could never truly be bested by the blemishes of mortalityās weakness to time.ā
you donāt know it right then, but the day you meet this goddess, yuki the aphrodite, the divine vessel of beauty and desire, your life is doomed to descend into a flurry of utter chaos.
āiāsorry, who are you?ā you ask, trying to shake away the foginess of your mental state. āare youā¦is it satoru youāre looking for?ā
she sighs, mumbling to herself. āi suppose i shouldnāt waste the efforts of my venture.ā
āwhat was that?ā you ask, struggling to make sense of her words. your thoughts are muddled by her pristine presence.
āno,ā she finally replies, roseate eyes twinkling and capturing all your wonder. āiām here for you, mortal girl. i have something of great importance to discuss. take me in and prepare your offerings for me.ā
you donāt believe her; you trust him ā you donāt want to believe her; you want to trust him.
doubt creeps in slowly in the dead quiet of the night, a languid steep when youāre sleeping and you canāt go with him, when you realize you can never go with him.Ā
'mortals donāt set foot in the divine realm the same way the living donāt set foot in the underworld.'
heās vague in the details of his disclosure. before, satoru used to be so honest, he became tactless and blunt. now, heās perceivably more calculated.
you notice. it riddles you.
why the abrupt movements and obvious secrecy if he isnāt lying to you about it all, about why he showed up in front of you, why he courted you, who he was supposedly answering to?
in your frantic mind, you continue to hear yuki the aphroditeās song of a voice.Ā
'itās the weight of his consequences; heās cursed to unending solitude.'
'gods donāt love mortals; we use them for fodder.'
satoru says he loves all but heās never been in love, that heās always been alone until you, that heād been certain his immortal life would be doomed to that notion perpetually, but claiming you and making you the center of his devotions made a new god of him.
'he lies. he kills. he unleashed war on all the world in a blink for sport shortly after being born. heās no man. heās a monster thatās supposed to be imprisoned to loneliness. of course, he would not tell the mortal he manipulates heāll squash them in his palm to sate the old gods and lift his curse.'
you remember what he said near the beginning of this unorthodox love: well, as iām a war god, i have to release my inevitable frustrations somewhere. gently, of course. i wouldnāt want to leave the world in ruinā¦again.
your lips purse together.
you want so badly to trust him, to be in his corner without hesitation, but aphrodite pointed out inconsistencies you now question and they canāt all be a result of coincidence.
'his eyes hold the truth, all of it; it is why he wills your ignorance.'
'satoru canāt be trusted, but heāll know i plan to turn him in to the zeus if i attempt to get closer.'
he made you swear that you would never remove his quiver, never look into his eyes but the why of his boundary confuses and frightens you. if he only plans to use your love for him to sacrifice you to the old gods in exchange for true freedom from his infinity, you canāt stay here in a doomed paradise with him, biding your time in feigned bliss and counting down your days.
if satoru is deceiving you, using you to hide from the zeus and plot the initiations of war, then continuing to love him is a willful act of brutality against man.
but if the aphrodite is lying to you, deceiving you, then whatever makes satoru fear your gazes meeting will come true. such odds are poor but youāve made your choice.
the sacrifice for solving must be the comfort of ignorance.
'use this, if you wish to see the truth of him in his eyes. force sleep on him. remove his quiver. wait until he wakes. you will know then, the moment you look into his eyes, all that heās done and will do.'
so when satoru comes home from whatever god-bearing duties of the zeus he claims, you decide to brew him tea.
it takes you a long time to let him go when he first arrives home, a long time to relinquish your hold on unblemished intimacy, but he doesnāt mind and even welcomes it. you do your best to disregard the ardent tone in his greetings, in his soft laments of yearning and claims of the weight of your absence being heavy in his chest.
you do your best to ignore the way he tugs your hand, how he wraps his arms around your waist, how he clings close to you.
it almost makes you hesitant to lead him to your dining table. almost.
he sighs upon sitting, stress heavy in his voice. guilt screams within you. you shouldnāt steep his tea with the scentless liquid, but curiosity drags delicate fingers over the open vial and tips it over the rim of a glass, listening to the soft pour of your coming betrayal.
with a loving kiss to the head, you offer him the wretched tea, and he drinks it without thought ā gripping his cup with trusting fingers ā sealing your fate and his.
āitās good.ā he hums. comfortable. safe. unsuspecting. āthank you, my love.ā
unable to stay and watch the next few minutes unfurl, you spare a soft smile and soundless nod before retreating into your shared bedroom, waiting on bated breath until you hear the abrupt thump of a body slumping onto the table, the shattering sound of a glass breaking as it falls to its death, the patter of laced brew pouring whatās left ot itself from the surface of the table onto tiled floor.
itās ironic that your next step is merely to wait but your impatience is what makes you cling to such drastic methods. pupils blown from aphroditeās influence, heart shaking in fear as it anticipates the coming consequences of your doubt in him, you return to the table.
heās out cold, a sight youāve never seen. although aphrodite assures you heāll feel nothing during his sleeping state, you still unknot the tie of his quiver with careful fingers. the texture is soft on the surface but stiff in structure. you clutch the enchanted fabric in trembling fingers.
you notice the bundle of snowy lashes that line the seam of his eyes.
like angel wings.
you always imagined theyād be beautiful.
now you sit in front of him, diligent and dutiful, muttering useless apologies to the air he canāt hear, cursing yourself for your weak will. but you wait, eyes wide and alert, prepared to peer. you swallow down the thrill of your curiosityās coming satiation, the joy of knowing youāll know the sight of your lover in full. you remind yourself that youāre undeserving of deriving pleasure from this.
this is truth you choose to take with no remorse for the destruction of his established limits.
itās only because i love him; itās only because i donāt want to die.
SATORU.
satoru wakes in a groggy stupor.
when his eyes slowly open, confusion befalls him. has he slept? the first thing he notices is how bright the light pouring in through the window is, how it makes his eyes ache.
the next thing he sees is youā¦staring at him with wide eyes, freshly-blown pupils and parted lips. a thickened black fabric is held tightly in clenched fists. it takes him too long to realize itās his quiver. the fear that stirs in his chest is immediate as he realizes your awe is from the sight of his eyes. he clasps them shut tight, but deep down he knows itās for nought.
dreamily, you sigh his name. ās-satoru,ā
āNO!ā his hands reach out in front of him wildly, until he feels you, until he snatches his quiver from you with frantic, terrified breaths. āwhat have you done?!ā
he doesnāt mean to shout out at you, doesnāt mean for his initial reaction to be rage and fear alone. he stands to his feet, panting wildly as his fingers fumble to retie the knot. fear eats him alive where he stands. agony in full force can take the strength from a godās knees. he stumbles clumsily until his back hits the wall with force. his head hangs while cold thoughts blow into his mind with brute force, a blizzard of sorrow and sorry and spurn and spite.
you speak but you tremble. it seems your mistake dawns on you, lays thick on your brittle voice. nearly a whisper, but still holding all your achings for penance, your yearning for atonement. āsatoruā¦iāmā¦iām sorry.ā
heās sure your regret must be sour the way your face scrunches; vinegary. bitter. hard to taste but impossible to avoid.
treason tastes the same.
satoruās bleeding heart spirals. he laments in anguish, āwhy? you betray me? me? what have i done to make you want to be rid of me?ā
you carve a hole out of his chest. you donāt know it but youāll leave with it, likely die with it clutched in mad hands. so this is what it means to be truly abandoned, to be loved and willingly left.
none of it makes sense to him, how you've changed your mind and turned your back on your own vows to him. you said as long as he would stay by your side, you wouldn't peek. a dark thing lurches in his gut; heartache grips him and makes him feel sick. but love still wails and sings and bellows with jubilance at the sight of you. it overwhelms him. it plucks the bones out of his ribs, one by one.
"you said you loved me. you swore you wouldn't look." perplexed and disbelieving. "why...would you? do you not ā"
do you not want to love me anymore? is that why you want me to leave?
unable to move, unwilling to even speak it, the dark thing rolls over in his body. he bites his lip to stop the way it shakes, but he feels warm liquid start to gather.
ārid of you? no, satoru. never.ā
a desperate cry. āthen why?!ā
āi justā¦i just wanted to know the truth about you. aphrodite saidā¦ā
his breath hitches when yukiās honorific comes softly spilling from your lips. immediately, his lips flatten into a thin line. ares swells, a vengeful beast drawing life from the strength of its loathing.
āthe aphrodite was here?ā his blank tone followed by your careful nod. āand she spoke to you?ā
satoru watches as your body goes shy; you hold your own fingers and look at your feet in shame.Ā when you start to speak, your voice is timid. āyesā¦sheā¦told me about your past. that you plan toā¦to sacrifice me to the old gods. she saidā¦if i looked into your eyesā¦i would see it allā¦and know the truth.ā
an abysmal sigh. robbed of the mundanity heās grown accustomed to and normalcy he adores, all because of the aphrodite. aphrodite and likely the zeus, too.
satoru realizes he's been bested, that this is his punishment for experiencing joy without their consent. after he's so capable of taking everything away, what does he deserve aside nothing? they use his own eros against him. the lover he so desperately desires will grow to look upon him with disgust and seething hatred. just as he did to the apollo, just as he'd done to realms above and below.
alone. because he himself is love but he doesn't deserve it.
crestfallen, he croaks, ādid you find what you were looking for?ā
ānoā¦ā you whisper it regretfully as you fall prey to weakness and sink into your chair, shrouded in defeat. āthere was nothing. it was for nothing. iām such an idiot. i wasā¦i should have trusted you. iām sorry.ā
you donāt know yuki. you couldnāt have. iām a fool, too. loving so freely. tying my hands in devotion. making you a target to them.
his heavy feet drag across the floor until he stands in front of you, a mountain made of his woes with isolation at its peak.
and satoru, poor satoru, drowning in dolor and resentment and love, falls to his knees and wails.
āsatoru, please. iām sorry, love. i didnātā¦i shouldnāt have beenā¦ā tears sputter out of your eyes uselessly. āi was fooledā¦ā
the truth comes out, sniveling and whimpering. āwe wonāt last much longer.ā
he cries quietly, teeming and oozing morose notions. sunk to his knees, he lays his head on your lap, eyes safely guarded again. satoru surrenders to this new, crippling grief he finds. his limbs wobble from the weakness. even his arms shake with the weight of his sobs.
āwhat do you mean, my love? iām right here. iām fine. nothing happened when i saw your eyes.ā he notes the wispiness in your voice, the almost dreamlike murmur when you mention the sight of his eyes. your dagger of betrayal shoves in deeper. āthey were beautiful. soā¦blue. like the sky. like the sea. like love as it wades.ā
like love as it weeps?
your words, dazed and dulcet, are so far away as you speak them. your rakes through his hair, once soothing, now cease as you fall into silence. a moment passes. your loving sigh fills the air.
ālike angel wings,ā you murmur.
satoruās eyes squeeze shut, fat tears spilling from the sides. within him, both his eros grieve. they sing with remorse, apologetic for what theyāve done, for your misfortunate fate they didnāt mean to seal.
ACT V. ALECTO THE UNENDING, ETERNITY'S TORTURE.
love is blind, but it sees all; love is forgiveness, love is resentment. it lingers in fragility and cradles its weaknesses, drenching them in immunity.
love is blind, but it sees all; love is languid, love is impetuous. it exists as an avalanche ā slow and foreboding, and as a volcano ā abrupt and erupting.
SATORU.
day one.
the morning after betrayal finally comes.
he spends the whole night in obsessive cycles of thought about how this will end, how he can stop it once it begins, how he can forgive you for the heartache youāll leave him to cradle, how to love you as heās always done, how to find gratitude somewhere in the trauma, how to spend the last of his time with you in bliss.
you sleep the night away, calm, curled up to his body, because heās angry but at least heās home. time drags him through its thick currents of night and he ruminates on his losses while he wades.
when you wake, the first thing satoru does is smush your cheeks between his palms and carefully examine your eyes for any sign of distress, any evidence of deterioration.
āwhat are you doing?ā you ask softly, careful not to show him your frustration. āi have to go to work.ā
nothing. not a trace. maybe there wasnāt enough time. maybe it trickles. maybe the sight of their eyes wonāt touch you, after all.
satoru huffs defiantly, letting go of your face. āiām coming with you.ā
ādonāt you always?ā a soft giggle. your warm smile.
ardor surges throughout him, an ichor-warming excavation to remind him he knows you. he loves you. he doesnāt have to fear you. quietly, satoru clings to the delusions of his hope that maybeā¦maybe. butā¦he doesnāt dare speak them aloud.
the gods are always listening somehow.Ā
day two.
no changes in your eyes.
no slight detuning of your laughter.
no crooked, misplaced smiles.
nothing.
you kiss him with the same tender lips; you hold his hand just as tightly. nothing changes as you both fall back into the comforts of your habitual movements. satoru keeps his sorrow in a crevice within himself and youā¦now free of aphroditeās wicked touch, he supposesā¦have seemingly forgotten any of it ever occurred.
or perhaps, the feigning is how you hold your grief, too.
the one thing that does change is the extension of his infinity. he keeps it stretched to hold you at all times, especially as you walk around so freely. you talk to him as you always have on your way to your work and home. he notices you always meander around most in the daylight.
you love spending time in the sun.
he listens to the bright bumble of your words; his head tilts up towards the sky, stone-faced. getoās sun has always had its eyes on you, hasnāt it?
geto the helios, even you betray me? my oldest friend.
nothing changes in you, but his heart knows more grief than it can take. ardor closes its eyes in rest, unable to endure the daily exertion of mourning. but ares is fueled by its need for retribution.
day three.
when you leave for work that morning, nothing changes. he just canāt be by your side.
you sometimes have tiresome, elongated meetings that carry on, weaving in and out of an entire day. as much as satoru loves to linger, the waiting while watching them relish in your attention instead of him maddens him. itās best if he stays home where your scent douses everything and he knows for certain youāll return to him with all of your adoration just for him.
each day begins the same: you wake up, he cradles your cheeks, he observes your eyes for even the slightest hint of dilation, he kisses your forehead, he murmurs his devotions over you ā much closer to wrapping someone in prayer, and finally allows you to fully rise.
you leave as you always do but satoru is admittedly uncertain of what to do with himself when matching your steps isnāt the entirety of his day. so he lies in your bed, wrapped inside a chrysalis of saffron and silk, and shrouds himself in the blissful feeling of you yearning for him the moment you leave him. it mollifies ardor for a time.
but.
approximately one hour passes before you come stumbling back in through the front door, kicking your shoes off at the entrance while you call for him.
although confused, he still appears and greets you with an adoring smile. āreturning already, pretty thing?ā
you nod, opening your arms to him. āmhm, i got there andā¦the idea of going the entire morning and afternoon without you made me want to die...so i came back home.ā
āhow dramatic. you just couldnāt stand it, huh?ā he murmurs, wrapping you in his arms, lips against your temple. āpretty thing needs her satoru. i donāt blame you. i wouldnāt want to leave me either.ā
of course, he jests and expects your snippy response in reply but instead, he feels your yearning for him explode in his chest. he feels the way you push closer, clutch tighter; he hears the edge of a whine in your voice as you speak.
simpering, you cling to the fabric of his robes. āyes, all of that. i canāt stand the thought of being without you.ā
he doesnāt let you go but he stills and whispers, āmy love, look at me.ā
the request comes soft and you do look as youāre told, abstracted eyes and a foolish smile. satoruās palms cup your cheeks for the second time that day. he stares intently, observing the shape, noting a new wobble in the roundness, something slightly misshapen and enlarging.
satoru whimpers at the sight.
worry fills him as he stares and stares, praying for his discovery to come out false, just a mirage made of his anxiety. he canāt let you go when he still wants you for longer.
for the second time, satoru hears you ask him, āare you leaving me?ā
and he still says no, but he omits the dreadful thing to protect you from fear.
Ā youāre leaving me.
day six.
satoru feels sickened by himself for enjoying your clinginess.
his heart canāt help it, to chase even falsified bliss. to be filled with the aching of knowing youāre gone but still warm-blooded and yearning in his arms ā how unfair. how cruel. he has no choice but to hold you in the arms of questions that feel more like pleas.
why canāt i have you? why canāt i keep you? youāre mine but why canāt you be mine? why canāt you stay? just a little longer.
the lunacy spreads in the dead of night; you wake up stranger than the days passed. he knows it wonāt last but he relishes in it despite it. you havenāt left in days. a bed is a home you donāt abandon. you leave behind your responsibilities and he leaves the remnants of his hope. you take a seat on his lap and the only thing you move is your hips.
driven to an obsessive need for pleasure. hot with it, a sheen of sweat as you dig your nails in deeper. shaking in the night and longing for him; his body, his length, his murmurs in your ear, his warm tears falling on your back.
he closes his eyes, lets the pleasure he feels shamelessly consume him. youāre on your way to a steep decline. heāll steal these intimate moments for himself. as many as he can.
little somethings to remember you by.
something to remind him, for a time, your mouth tasted like everything love should be.
just in case when the time comes and the sight of your lips curving into disgust starts to make him forget. just in case he canāt remember what itās like to be loved by you.
ACT VI. A SMALL CACOPHONY OF WRATH, TISIPHONEāS ORCHESTRA.
love is blind, but it sees all; love is acceptance, love is denial. it is all screeches of dissonance and a looming madness contained in a warm embrace.
love is blind, but it sees all; love is gluttonous, love is self-serving. it doesnāt savor, only swallows; it never nibbles, it always devours.
SATORU.
day thirteen.
satoru wonāt say it aloud, but heās scared. of so many things. mourning and loving and being alone. his broken heart and the wrath itāll undoubtedly unleash.
ares says everythingās days are numbered if yours are.
every hope he has that he may not lose you, in the end, is squandered by the rapid shift in your behavior over the last weeks. he sees it clearly, the pupils in your eyes growing larger by the day.Ā filling your eyes, filling your mind with delusions, filling your speech with nonsensical strings.
it was a soft cling at first, tender fingertips holding lightly to the flesh, but itās slowly becoming your nails digging into an open wound you made.
you wonāt let him leave your side anymore.
your eyes are wild, blazing with disdain as you grip his arm. āwhere are you going? are you leaving me?ā
āmy love, please,ā satoru murmurs, trying to subdue your suspicions of his attempt to leave. āiām not leaving you. iām not.ā
always frantic. always afraid. satoru knows you canāt help it, knows you donāt mean to, knows he canāt stop your spirals once youāre triggered. hands up in surrender, he sits right back down in your bed and looks at you with wounded eyes you can't see, another wrench in his gut youāll never know of. you settle into his lap, less loving and more possessive.
āi wasnāt leaving. iād never leave you.ā satoru coos, his weakening attempts to make you docile, still true to his tongue. āi love you. youāre my pretty thing. iāll never go anywhere.ā
your head shakes, tears pouring and lips sputtering words in a frenzy. āyou canāt just get up and try to go somewhere without telling me! i donāt know whatās happening! i donāt know whatās happening and you canāt leave me! you canāt leave my side or iāll die! if you walk away, youāll leave me here to die and why would you leave me? you said you love me. donāt you love me, satoru?ā
āof course i do. i love you so much.ā
satoru listens to your whirlwind of teary rambles, watches your sanity dissolve. he holds you in love while you sob in confusion and the overstimulation of sensation makes you shiver.
he glances over the scars littering different parts of your body, mauling yourself to be free of all the feeling that fills you at all times.
all the feelings that say youāll die if youāre not by his side. youāll die if he doesnāt love you back. youāll die if he leaves you. they all burst to life and leave you a wailing mess in his arms. imprisoned by every sliver of love and unable to escape its chaotic swarms. a war in your lungs. a war in your belly. a war on your flesh. all you do is scream.
he doesnāt know how much longer until they tell you that youāll die if you canāt get away from him. youāll die if you donāt kill him first.Ā
day twenty-one.
a blood-curdling scream. the incessant rattle of metal chains.
āEVIL ASSHOLE! I KNEW YOUāD TRY TO KILL ME! I KNEW YOU NEVER LOVED ME! IāLL KILL YOU! IāLL KILL YOU! I HOPE YOU DIE, YOU PIECE OF SHIT I HATE YOU!ā
since day sixteen, the god has lost all semblance of peace.
āSATORU!ā shrieking and sobbing his name descending to loving pleas. āplease, satoru. i love you. i wonāt hurt you. satoru! SATORU! STOP IGNORING ME! SATORU, ANSWER ME. ANSWER ME. TELL ME YOU LOVE ME, SATORU! PLEASE!ā
ares and the strength of its rage is the only thing keeping satoruās body standing. as time passes, ardor accepts the coming days will be your last. whenever satoru has the strength to make a decision that leaves him fractured in every way.
his heart breaks. all of him weeps until whatās left of love is defeat.
youāre no longer yourself. a stranger takes space in your body and all it does is scream. in satoruās mind, youāve already died. youāve already left him. what heās holding is the sight of a person he wants to see, wants to be able to remember and remind himself of in the luxury of passing glances.
he thinks he didnāt love those things enough.
youāre a screeching mess he keeps his infinity perpetually stretched around, whose arms he keeps chained to a wall to stop you from hurting yourself, to stop you from hurting him. he hasnāt seen you smile for some time. all you do is wail and cry and make yourself bleed. a monster made of your own temptation. he still loves you, still adores you in every way. even like this.
for all of time, he will.
love is blind but it sees all; love is eternal, love is unconditional. it is the only thing that owes nothing to space or time.
but he knows this is only torture for you.
satoru has three options:
one. let you kill yourself in a fit of murderous delirium ā both in an effort to escape him and an inability to kill him.
two. let you die trying uselessly to kill him.
three. kill you himself ā quickly. devoutly. with honor and in love. pour enough of how much he adores you over your bones to fill an eternity, someone worthy of ceremony.
Ā youāre still someone who laughs and fills a room with delight.
tears stream freely underneath his quiver when he enters the room heās now holding you prisoner in, a sad fact that makes him hate not only himself but all of them even more. when he enters, you go wild, writhing and pulling at the restraints he keeps you attached to.
āLOOK AT ME, YOU ASSHOLE. LOOK AT WHAT YOU DID TO ME! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! DIE! I HOPE YOU DIE! YOU DISGUST ME! I SHOULD HAVE NEVER TRUSTED YOU!ā
unable to take it anymore, unable to hear you in pain like this, hysteric and senseless, unable to endure the loss of his only home and the betrayal from all sides, he unties the knot of his quiver. he lets it fall to the ground the same way he falls to his knees, and stares at you.
because love is standing but love is kneeling, too.
he hears you go silent as you stare at him in his full glory, watches your body go calm as you see crystals stream down his cheeks, surely shimmering as they fall. your screaming finally ceases, replaced by awe swimming around your crying eyes.
your soft smile; it must be your parting gift to him.
ālike angel wings,ā adoration on your dying breath. āsatoru,ā
all thatās left is your sigh faded into demise, satoruās amethyst tears, and both ardor and ares filling his vision with a loving lilac. so lovely, so alluring and sweet, so undoubtedly yours, you donāt even feel the crack of your neck in his hands.
painless. you fade with pleasure in your sights, with a moment of remembrance. you fade not knowing youāve dissipated into nothing, not knowing youāre cradled lovingly in his arms, not knowing how he cries for you, not knowing how he hurts, not knowing the depths of his adoration for you.
only satoru has to live with the sacrifices of knowing.
but he loves you, so he will live with the sacrifices while the realms live with the consequences of crossing him. any cost of loving you, heāll gladly pay. over and over, until death manages to capture him and take him to meet the hades himself.
when he finally has the strength to leave your side, ardor goes cold within him, paralyzed by grief. one eye blinks in darkness. nothing shown. nothing felt. nothing seen.
but ares is alive with the light of a promise. ardor rests and ares makes satoru keep its word. thus, he finds a way to adore devastation. only when itās dedicated to you.
he burns the quiver to dust, his first declaration of war on all, both above and below.
ššš«š§š¢š§š š¬: Gojo x fem! reader - explicit content; minors DNI - modern + college AU - frenemies to lovers + mutual pining - fluff + angst + misunderstandings - first kiss - virginity loss - Gojo and reader are at least age 20 - secret relationships; implied friends-with-benefits - sex in shared rooms; college dorms + hotel suite - college parties - use of party games (seven minutes in heaven) - confessions - mention of drug/alcohol abuse - humor bc Gojo and college, lol - Gojo is a cocky, tactless sweetheart, nothing new - cameos of other characters + explicit content will be listed in their respective fics (within the contents).
šš®šš”šØš«'š¬ ššØšš: when I say that I had this series planned out, I mean like mid-October last year planned out, lmaoo!! I'm honestly so psyched to do this series, as it's one of my favorite tropes + relatively short as I'll be busy irl, but we'll do what we can!! i was lowkey feeling this concept when i was re-watching Ranma 1/2 and figured it would work great with Gojo. So, here's to hoping i can properly execute my thoughts with this series, hehehe~
reblogs + comments are appreciated wholeheartedly ā¤ļø gif header made by me + fic dividers used are provided by the wonderful @cafekitsune and @animatedglittergraphics-n-more!!
The start of the spring semester is supposed to be fresh and new, not be cramped up in a closet with your frenemy at a party! And what's worse: you actually like the feeling of his lips on yours!?
Is it possible to wish to be in the embrace of someone who makes you want to throw them off a cliff? You seem to think so, and the same goes for Gojo. But alas, good things always come to an end, even when not meant to be...
Going on a date with the guy who broke your heart is something youād never thought would happen ā especially on Valentineās Day! But itās just for him to be in your good graces again, nothing moreā¦Yeah, go ahead and tell yourself that.
hayakawa aki
creatures in the bath - 2 part fox fiend reader, aki, kishibe (18+) part 1 | part 2
kishibe
freshly healed - young!pierced kishibe oneshot (18+)
distractions in the living room - canon age kishibe oldshot (18+)
bites 'n scratches - canon kishibe fluff
jujutsu kaisen --
gojo satoru
shared controllers - multi chapter streamer!gojo au (18+)
chapter 1 | chapter 2 | chapter 3 | chapter 4 | chapter 5 | chapter 6 | chapter 7 | chapter 8 | chapter 9 | chapter 10 (complete)
he has returned - gojo drabble
crying and screaming - gojo request (18+)
the vibrator strikes back - gojo request 2 (18+)
fushiguro toji
release your tension - 2 part gym daddy toji (18+) part 1 | part 2
geto suguru
it's his toy now - geto request (18+)
filthy whispers - ns/fw asmr-tist!geto (18+)
legend of zelda --
ganondorf
the king's entertainment - ganon x gn reader, ganon x female hylian oc (18+)
one piece --
ace
the lover's map - fluffy suggestive drabble (18+)
scream --
billy loomis
the bunny ears stay on - ghostface x reader (18+)
AITA (27M) FOR FUCKING MY BEST FRIEND'S (26M) LITTLE SISTER (22F)? hey reddit. iāll get straight into it. i met my best friend, weāll call him S, when we were kids, as young as five i guess, and weāve been inseparable ever since. he was there for me at my lowest, and right by my side at my highest. iāve never been the greatest personā¦but there isnāt anything he wouldnāt do for me and vice versa. thatās why i feel so bad. heās got this younger sister, i used to find her so annoying, but one dayā¦ she just grew up and i havenāt been able to look at her the same. we started fooling around two years ago around the time sheād settled into college but decided to keep it a secret from her brother. now sheās graduated from college and wants to take the next stepā¦
TLDR: weāve been fucking around for two years but now sheās graduated and is ready to be more serious with our relationship. she wants to tell her brother ā iām unsure. AITA?
coming back home after four years of brutal education, late nights studying and heavy textbooks feelsā¦ almost comforting.Ā
sure, youāve been home for the holidays before, and sometimes between semesters when things got a little bit rough. but this time around, being home feels more like a relief ā an aura of permanency surrounding the occasion. at home, thereās home cooked meals instead of stale take-out and the house youāve been raised in smells of warm spices rather than the unpleasant combination of old beer and dorm parties.Ā
thereās peace in being at home instead of college after four long years. itās rewarding almost, to know that youāre welcomed back into the arms of the people who love you most after years of blood, sweat and tears. youāve made it. youāre on the other side. youāve got a degree under your belt and a bright, prosperous future ahead of you.Ā
letting out a determined huff, you throw your suitcases down onto the end of your bed ā pushed up against the window of your childhood bedroom. the walls are a colour you no longer like (lime greenā¦ what were you thinking?) plastered with posters from groups you no longer listen to and movies you would only watch for comfort now that youāre a little bit older. nostalgia is warm under your skin as you look around at your teenage safe space, until your big doe eyes land on your sticker covered closet.Ā
being home for just the weekend, you thought youād kill two birds with one stone. unpack the clothes you no longer need at your college dorm whilst joining your parents for a celebration. they had wanted you to come down from your university town in order to commemorate the end of your degree, since theyāll be abroad on business for your graduation ceremony in a few months time. not to mention, the outstanding job offer youād received not long after being awardedĀ your final marks.Ā
your brother, suguru, would be joining you for the weekend as well. temporarily taking up space in his own childhood bedroom just across the hall ā the keep out sign with black and yellow restricted tape still hanging from the white wooden door. geto had long since moved out of your parents place, what with him being five years older than you. he now had a job in the city as a big shot lawyer with hardly any time for his little sister anymore. so the fact that he was making the trip down just to celebrate you meant more than you could put into words.
he hadnāt arrived yet, however, and your parents were busy downstairs sorting out your favourite home cooked dinner (oxtail, a favourite) to care about what you were up to ā leaving you to unpack in comfortable solitude. you decide to start with your night clothes, the darkness of the winterās evening starting to bleed into the purple painted sky. youāll be sleepy soon, no doubt.Ā
turning your back on the window, you move to set your toiletries and a fresh pair of pyjamas on the back of your desk chair ā hardly noticing the way the window panes creak open, accompanied by the chill of a light december breeze. the gentle tread of footsteps across your carpeted floor go without attention as well, youāre too occupied with sorting through your things to pay attention to anything. not until itās too late.Ā
āboo!ā
large and possessive hands on your hips make you jump in fright, relaxing only when you hear the familiar teasing baritone against the shell of your ear. ādid you miss me?ā gojo purrs, using his hold on the flesh at your waist to spin you around to face him. your palms settle on the broad spread of his sturdy shoulders while his fingers dip into the back pocket of your low-waist jeans ā leaving very little room between your bodies.
āsatoru!ā you exhale sincerely with the wisps of a smile spreading across your lips and twitching at the corner of your mouth. āwhat are you doing here? when did you get back?ā like butter in a heated pan, you melt into the manās arms, those same arms wrapping around your waist fully to pull you further into him. you feel dumb and lovestruck, tucked into the plushness of gojoās chest as if youād never left.Ā
āi couldn't miss my special girlās special weekend, now could i?ā the toothy smirk satoru gives you is enough to make your knees knock and youāre reminded that youāre lucky enough to be held up in his arms. happiness simmers hotly through your veins at the thought. a million and one girls would kill to be in your position, to have a man as handsome as the satoru gojo in their bedroom, all alone, sapphire blue eyes honed in on you and only you.Ā
heās unlike any man youāve ever met before. heās so beautiful, not just anyone will do if it ever came to replacing him. heās tall enough to tower over you, and make you feel small in a way that isnāt terrible at all. his hair is as white as winter frosts and unfairly soft for someone who probably doesnāt take as much care for it as he should. his lashes flutter against your forehead, long and to die for. satoru gojo is a beauty if you ever saw one ā and you find yourself grateful to keep him all to yourself. in this moment. of course.
the look he gives you itself is enough to keep you alive, make your cheeks tingle with heat just under the skin, make you feel like a schoolgirl about to give a note to her crush. but a million and one girls donāt have to hide their crushes or keep them secret, their relationships probably arenāt as complex or confusing as your own with the man before you.
things with gojo have always been weirdā¦ever since you were young. he found you annoying and whiny, back then, he along with your adoptive brother would pick on you until your eyes were big and shiny and your nose a little snotty. in those times, suguru (who babied you too much for your own good on occasion) often followed his best friendās lead, maybe because satoru was older (despite them both being five years ahead of you in age) and the more dominating personality of the two best friends. it was easy to think that he might have even despised you then, or to imagine that suguru would grow up adoring you. yet, for satoru, it all changed one summer after your eighteenth birthday, when you justā¦ shot up. you filled out, your demeanour changed, you became everything that he ever wanted.Ā
satoru was spoilt. he always had been, even from childhood. the gojo clan had built an empire and he was right at the heart of it as soon as he left college. the white haired man with the dazzling rows of perfect teeth had all the money and power in the world ā right in the palm of his dangerous hands. obtaining what he wanted was as easy as snapping his fingers, and in an instant he could have all the booze and babes he desired. whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted. the issue with being a man of satoru gojoās calibre is the difficulty in drawing a line in the sand and knowing when to stop. men like him have everything, but only desire what they canāt have.Ā
he only desires you.
see, early on in his friendship with your brother, suguru had given satoru one plain and simple rule. one that he could never break so long as he walked godās green earth and breathed fresh air into his lungs.Ā
suguru had made him promise never to go near you, sexually or romantically.Ā
theyād known one another their entire lives, been together through thick and thin, ups and downs. if anyone knew what the real satoru gojo was really likeā¦ it would be your brother. he had seen every arc of gojo like the phases of the moon up above. satoru was a partier, he drank until his veins were 50% alcohol and poured the bourbon until all of his organs were burned black. he smoked away his burdens, numbing his brain with whatever he could get his hands on. people, back in college, were just as disposable to gojo as his fatherās income and even now, with his position at the heart of Gojo Corporations ā satoru was no more stable than a drowning child, struggling to keep his head above the water and air in his scarred lungs.Ā
he was in no position to look out for you like suguru did. to the older geto, you were a prized possession and a treasure to be cherished. his innocent baby sister who was too sweet for the hard liquor gojo drank by the gallons and the papers that knew to tear him apart by name. you needed someone to rely on, someone to look out for you when the world gets tough and the rose tinted glass ceiling shatters down on you. suguru had tried his hardest to shield to growing up, becoming partly responsible for your dependence on him.Ā
he learned how to braid your hair and cook the foods you liked before moving to japan for your adoption. when he wasnāt being mean to you along with satoru, suguru cared for you deeply. he was a good adoptive brother.
so, it was a wonder how you even managed to get into and go to university all on your own ā without your older brotherās watchful eye to keep you safe from the dangers of men, sex and money.
and gojo, being gojo, was never a stickler for the rules. heād innocently reached out to you once youād settled into college, under the guise of checking on his best friendās little sister. much to his amusement, youād already broken out of the safety net your brother had cast over you ā you were more brazen and adventurous, sleeping around between study sessions and partying when youād told your family you were tired from the weekās work.Ā
before anyone knew it, youād become the college girl who liked to be wined and dined by older men ā presenting the perfect opportunity for satoru to sweep you off your feet.Ā
texts to check on you every once in a while became calls to ask about your day and wish each other good morning and good night. these little things, as sweet as they might have seemed, snowballed into something bigger. something more. at least to you. you were falling in love with satoru gojo, and fast. it was the first time youād ever felt like that towards someone, and heād gotten you right where he wanted you.Ā
it wasnāt long before you were paying off your dorm mates to keep quiet about having an older man over, no less gojo. you were naive but not stupid, it wouldnāt take an idiot to know that geto had people keeping an eye on you nor that money was what made the world go round ā people would do anything for a hefty price or designer bag. they kept their lips sealed each and every time gojo swung by your dorm to pin your knees to your ears and fuck you raw until your voice was hoarse and there was a dent in your wall from the force of his thrusts against the bed frame.Ā
satoru had been the one to take your virginity, of course. suguru would have had an aneurism if he ever found out.
and while you loved the thrill of sneaking around with someone older, someone who seemed to know the world better than you ever could, someone who excited you ā there were times where you wished your heart hadnāt chosen the enigma that is satoru gojo. your relationship with him ruined the little time you had to explore yourself in college. he knew all of your friends, he knew all of the boys in your classes and the ones that dared to hang out with you outside of them. he sometimes paid them off to break your heart or cheat on you just so that youād go running back into his arms ā bleary eyed and emotionally drained.
satoru knew about your every move ā the parties you went to and the socials you attended. you were never able to mess around with people, not with the tabs he had on you. silly little you, donāt you know? youāre satoruās property.Ā
the worst thing he could have done to you is fail to put a label on your relationship. you were never his girlfriend and he would always dance around the question like he was avoiding a bullet to the chest. āwhat are we?ā you would ask, and like always, satoru would grin lazily and slowly ā in the way that brews a hazy fog over your mind and respond with. āwhatever you want me to be.ā
what you wanted was something official. not to be satoruās little pet, hidden away from the rest of the world while in private he promises you that youāre the only girl heās ever loved. it hit hardest whenever you would go to visit him, noting anotherās car in the driveway that wasnāt yours or satoruās. you knew that you never meant muchā¦but in actuality it was slowly killing you now. he gave you comfort, gave you warmth but whenever you woke, he was gone by the morning. thatās how it always was.Ā
a piece of you threatened to crumble each and every time your lover was plastered over the tabloids and gossip magazines with another heiress. you wanted to tell the world that you were his and he was yours. you wanted suguru to know too.Ā
oftentimes, satoru would ease your worries with a simple toe curling and mind numbing kiss to your butter-glossed lips, uttering the words ābut, wouldnāt that ruin our little secret?āĀ
the very secret made you feel dirty and used.Ā
if satoru didnāt let you, then you could never bring yourself to tell suguru. it would break his heart, his entire soul to know that his angelic little sister was taking her eyes off of the very expensive prize of her university degree. and so, the track of your fragmented relationship (situationship?) with your mischievous white haired lover replays over and over again like a broken record ā scratched and scathed.Ā
satoru comes over, you fight or cry, and he ends up balls deep inside of you ā creaming your little cunt in a hotel off campus or paying off your friends to spend your night in your dorm again.Ā
when you finally graduated, you remember one of said friends asking. āwill you ever go public with thatā¦ guy youāre always fucking? i meanā¦ he practically lives with you.ā
at the time, youād pressed your lips into a thin and telling line. you couldnāt. you wouldnāt. theyād laughed about it then and you knew what conclusions were running through their minds. what a dumb, naive little rich girl, for thinking she was anything more than a sidechick.Ā
if only you could just show them the lengths satoru would go to be with you in the secrecy of your own little bubble.Ā
like right now.
āsweetheart, whereād you go?ā cocking his head down at you, satoruās sugarcoated, sickly sweet coo runs through your ears like molten sugar and drags you from the depths of deep thought. he clicks his teeth, using a thumb and forefinger to tilt your head up in order to face him ā positioning you like his own marionette doll. ācame all this way to see you, only for you to get lost in that pretty little head of yours.ā
itās patronising, the way he speaks to you as if youāre a child ā but itās all youāve ever known. being babied by your lover and even your brother. ās-sorry! i was justā¦ thinkingā¦ā you supply as a meek excuse, shuddering when gojo slips a thumb over the slightly cracked skin of your bottom lip. the impending winterās cold had been nipping at it in his place.
āabout me?ā
you scoff playfully, begrudgingly pulling yourself from satoruās grip before he makes your brain too overcast to even focus about unpacking. āabout graduation. i canāt believe itās all over.āĀ
returning to unfolding some casual wear left in your bag, your mind begins to wander if satoru misses you as much as you miss him whenever youāre not touching. your skin feels alive, teaming with life, whenever heās nearby ā as if two magnets that couldnāt be more different have attracted one another instead of repelling. itās like you need to be near him in order to breathe, to feel, to exist.Ā
yourā¦boyfriend? makes himself comfortable on your bed, trailing his index finger over the pink patterned sheets.Ā you realise then, that youāll never truly understand whatās going on in his head.Ā
āi am proud of you, yanno.ā gojo comments casually. he man-spreads across the edge of your bed, leaning back against his elbows as if to draw your eyes to the treasure between his thick jean-clad thighs. ānot every day my pretty baby graduates with honours. such a smart little girl, hm?ā itās cruel really, how dumb he makes you out to be ā but in a way, it makes your insides twist and a flutter make its way up to your chest.
you shrug as if itās nothing, hanging your clothes up in the closet before you return to the bedside. āitās a wonder i managed, ātoru. you were always distracting me,ā memories of your illicit activities on nights before papers were due or exams were to be taken flash behind his vibrant azure eyes, and satoru grins mischievously as his strong arms snake around your waist ā his head pressed against your smooth tummy. āi have to unpack.ā you remind him gently.
but then he looks up at you, like a sweet pet that begs for food, dragging you into the shining blue pools of his eyes that you can never seem to escape. and before you know it, youāre drowning in gojoās attention once again.Ā
ādid you miss me?ā
satoru letās his fingers slide under your loose top and gives your hips a possessive squeeze, watching you with baited breath.Ā
āātoru, youāve asked me that already.āĀ
he squeezes again, harder, the rough pads of his fingers sinking into your mid-section, all needy like. heās desperate to know that you havenāt found anyone else. āi missed you,ā satoru quips in place of your silence. āi hate being away from you for so long, work sucks.ā
as if he ever did any real work. satoru was just the pretty poster boy for his dadās company ā it worked out well though, youād seen the amount of zeros in his bank account yourself. āiāll be getting a job too, did you know that? at that big fashion editorial. you know the one, Heavenly Pact magazine. itāll be in the city too so we can be closer together. itās why suguru is taking us to dinner.āĀ
satoru finds your gushing adorable, pulling you to stand between his legs as you go on and on.
āand where dāya think suguru got that idea from?āĀ he coos. āi had him set up a reservation at that place you likeā¦ yanno, the one where we spent our two years. something about the sushi there. you liked it.āĀ
satoru talks about the day as if you were really dating. two years. seven hundred and thirty days spent fawning over him and chasing the white haired male like a lost puppy. you couldnāt even call it an anniversary, not when you werenāt official. though, heād taken the time to spoil you ā he dressed you in diamonds and designer, picked you up in a fancy car that probably cost more than your rent, booked out the whole restaurant and filled it with your favourite flowers. gojo had made you feel like you were special, something special to him, and as usual you fell for the smoke screens and mirrors that masked how he truly felt.Ā
how he wanted to own every part of you.Ā
youād wanted to celebrate two years being tied to one another and he let you, because in order to take ā you have to give a little.Ā
gojo somehow feels closer than before, his lips treading lightly over your supple stomach while his thumbs trace circles over your hips. you preen into his touch, love bristling in your chest and replacing the heaviness that weighs it down. āyouāre coming?āĀ
āwouldnāt miss it for the world, baby.ā comes his husky, breathy whisper ā uttered against your warm skin like a promise of love and support. satoru presses a wet kiss just above your navel all while slyly tugging your shirt further up, distracting you from the task at hand (folding clothes).
something stirs within your lower tummy, a blistering hot sensation spreads from your core to your chest, your mind and all four of your limbs as if someoneās thrown gasoline onto a fire. gojoās curious silver tongue travels further ā tracing over the saltine droplets of sweat on your skin while he licks up to your rib cage. every twist of his pink muscle against you makes your breath catch in the ridges of your throat and your entire body wrack with a case of the shakes.Ā
still, you continue to unpack, struggling with the items in your grip as large palms claw up your back and force you down into satoruās widespread lap, not that you mind ā being pressed up all against him. āoooh, thatās cute,ā satoru taunts you playfully, pulling back from the love marks heās painted where your breasts meet your ribs. he blinks over at the article of clothing between your nimble fingers, white flashes tickling your skin as he does so.
his scent is so overwhelming you canāt even think, not at all what one would expect. itās fresh, almost cold to inhale, like peppermint, pine and cool air from the highest peak of the mountain.Ā
you look down at gojo dumbly, earning yourself the sound of his melodious laughter. in response,Ā he juts his head in the direction of your hand. āyour bra, you gonna wear that for me?ā
shifting your gaze over to the baby blue lace, you grin and toss it aside ā using your free hands to push satoru back against your sheets.Ā
āmaybe, if youāre lucky.āĀ
he growls in reply, predatory and playful all at once, lifting his head, with his pool of silver-moon hair rising from your bed, to capture your lips in a slow, spit-swapping kiss. he allows you to pin his wrists above his head, barely putting up a fight as you swallow him down and devour him whole ā your tongues clash for dominance, slipping and sliding over one another while your hands do the same to the silver roots of his hair.Ā
one of your hands travel down to cup his cheek, tilting gojoās head up just a tad more so that you can pour more of your passion into him. the kiss becomes, in the only way that you can describe it, hurried and hungry ā the more of yourself you give to him, the more satoru becomes filled with your love and innermost parts of your soul. you give and give and give until his glass is full to the brim.
you grow weaker by the second, falling victim to the predatory, hot mouth of your lover and your grip on his wrists loosen just enough for his calloused fingertips to fluidly cascade down your body ā finding purchase in the loops of your pesky jeans, tugging them away from your marred flesh and soft ass. once heās bored with toying with your clothes, the silver haired man uses his reach on your ass to push you closer, kiss you harder, grind his swelling erection into the gap between your plush thighs.
the two of you canāt be closer, noses knocking against one another clumsily and breath becoming scarce as your lungs ache and burn for a fresh in-take of oxygen between drooly lip locks. itās messy, youāre both messy ā your relationship always has been. but in this very moment, you canāt find it in yourself to care, addicted to the weight of gojoās tongue in your mouth and the way his smooth, glossy lips feel against your own. both of your chests heave, your bodies growing hotter and tenser each time you swirl your hips down onto him or he bucks up into you.
ābaby,ā satoru sighs airily, twitching underneath you ā all restless and impatient. āyouāre so pretty like this, onātopāa me,ā his crystal blue eyes have darkened to a midnight blue, almost black with a list that makes his pupils blow wide. youāve seen this change too many times to be unfamiliar with what satoru wants. that very thing being you. āsmoke with me a little?ā his plea barely covers up the low moan that escapes him as your hips jerk against him. his touch scorches through the all-too-tight denim hugging your waist, leaving burn marks at your tail bone. heās desperate for this, desperate for you.Ā
how can you say no.
your face splits into an angelic, agreeable grin. just what satoru likes to see. ācāmon then, whereās your stash?ā in reply, he lifts his hips higher from the bed ā nudging the thick outline of his cock against your sensitive clothed pussy.Ā
āsorry.ā he lies easily. āback pocket.āĀ
moving to dig around in said pocket, you pull out gojoās tiny baggy of weed ā noting the joints heād probably rolled up prior to coming here. sometimes, you had the nagging thought that your man always loved you better when you were a little bit high. you gloss over the idea, however, reaching into your nightstand nearby for your sanrio lighter while you toss gojo the bag. he picks out a blunt for you to share and you trigger the flame.
you take the joint between your lips, plumped up from all the kissing youāve been doing, and let satoru wrap a bulky arm around your middle ā pinning you to his larger-than-yours frame. his chest is plush, warm, and you can feel your heartbeats beginning to sync up beneath your clothes. you hold the lighter to one end, bambi eyes reflecting the orange yellow flame that sets the wrapper alight and hum in content whilst you inhale.Ā
you hold. exhale. and when the smoke clears, gojo is looking up at you as if you hold the entire universe in your gaze.
āyouāre so fuckinā pretty.āĀ
that sweet giggle of yours rings out into the night air. you take a hit before you press your mouth to satoruās ā breathing the smoke into his lungs.Ā
youāre spoiling him. he knows you donāt really like to smoke, but youāre always sweetest when he gets you a little fucked up.Ā
āso youāve said, ātoru.ā
he swipes the blunt from your grip and takes a drag for himself, tapping the ashes out against your sheets as he picks up the salacious motions of his hips again. and like the obedient little thing you are, you grind against him, mewling into his milky skin thatās illuminated by the shy slither of moonlight that peeks on you both through your curtains.Ā
āi mean it, sweet thing,ā another hit, his voice even huskier from the aromatic fumes ā even as he gripes lowly into the shell of your ear. āfuck, youāre so perfect like this. grinding on my lap like a needy little girl, hm?āĀ
whining out for him, you let satoru stick the blunt back in your mouth and sit up ā bucking down on his hard, heavy erection as if youāre riding his cock like you usually do. āsatoru,ā you purr while the weed begins to take residence over your brain, take its effect. you recognise that the supply is from sukuna, the older brother of a boy you knew from college. yuuji itadori, was it? youād always found him cute but he had a girlfriend and gojo told you to stop worrying about him a long time ago. the very thought sparks something in the back of your mind ā at war with giving into satoruās touch and how it makes its way underneath your clothes to thumb at your pebbling nipples. āātoruā¦when are you going to tell sugu about us?āĀ
the mention of your brother should be enough to kill the mood, but youāve been away from gojo far too long. heās already got his sights set on ruining you for some fun tonight, pushing his luck by slipping his fingers past your tight waistband in order to mess with your slick pussy folds against your panties.Ā
ādo i need to?ā he drawls, laughs a little, voice breaking through the thick barrier of ardour built up in his throat. āsānot that important. telling him. weāre having fun, right? things are good the way they are.ā gojo sticks his tongue out in concentration, fumbling between layers of clothes for your cute little clit and grinning ear to ear when he finds it ā watching you quiver and fail to hold yourself up above him as he presses down on the nub, hard. āwhat good would it do, telling him?ā
you could think of a million reasons why, but all of them fail to rush to the forefront of your mind ā blocked by desire and the lingering weed in your system. āiā¦i want to mean somethinā to you,ā comes your babyish voice, hurt and whiny through your pout. satoru takes the blunt from you, rubbing your cunt through your words as they catch in your throat. āwanna be serious with you. want something more. i-iām a proper adult nowā¦ i deserve ā oh fuck!āĀ
you donāt even know why you bring the fact up. that youāre an adult, that youāre grown now. because youāre still a naive little thing who wants so much more from someone older and more experienced. because youāre still suguruās younger sister to satoru, not his girlfriend. just his forbidden plaything.Ā
satoru smiles wickedly again as you fail to express yourself, becoming a pliant sticky mess all over his fingers while their tips graze your clit over and over again in rough circles. āām sure you are, my big girl yeah?ā heās so cruel to you, talking down on you while he plays your sopping mound like a fiddle. pinching and pulling at your folds and your poor little clit. āyouāre so close, arenāt you? think you might cum from a coupleāa fingers ān a bit of weedā¦āĀ
heat brews under the surface of your skin, most hot at the centre of your face where you start to feel humiliated and embarrassed. even more so because you like it, when the silver haired man is mean to you like this. āsatoruā¦t-thatās not what i meantāā you try, gushing and crying. ās-satoru iām g-gonnaā!āĀ
knock, knock, knock.
āhey little one, iām home!āĀ
the pair of you jump apart at the smooth sound of suguruās calm and timbre voice.Ā
itās like a shock to your system, like being doused with cold water or waking up from a hangover after one too many shots. with wild eyes you look from your half-hard boyfriend to the open window ā immediately shoving up and pulling his hands from your pants. āg-get up!ā Ā you seethe, teeth and tongue, all of your syllables rushed.Ā
āwas that suguru?ā gojo asks, voice elevated with panic while he puts the blunt out against your windowsill.Ā
you nod vigorously, using your shaky limbs to push satoru back out the way he came. āyes! now go!āĀ
āhey, little one? itās me, suguru..ā
he scrambles to climb back out the window and you lean over the edge to watch him go ā accepting the chaste kiss he gives you on the way out. the second that gojo is out of view, you chuck the half-smoked joint into your trash can and kick the rest of sukunaās supply underneath your bed to cover up the evidence.
āc-come in!ā you finally squeak, putting on your best smile for your adoptive older brother.Ā
your bedroom door swings open, revealing a tired suguru with tousled clothes and sleepy dark eyes. he looks older, maturer, but heās still the same brother you love and grew up with. āthereās my little princess,ā he cheers, tying back the dark tresses of his (much) longer hair before he opens his arms wide to give you a hug.Ā
you quickly accept, nuzzling your cheek against suguruās firm shoulder (also wiping your tears on him). āsugu! when did you get back?āĀ
ānot too long ago. i tried calling, but you didnāt pick up.ā his voice is laced with suspicion and you swear you hear him sniff the air from above your head ā close to catching the traces of weed on you.Ā
āi wasā¦ unpacking!ā stepping back, you stumble over to your toiletries that youād begun to unpack earlier and eagerly (a little too eagerly) spritz some of your expensive perfume into the air. ās-sorry! iām the thinking of wearing this scent to dinner on sundayā¦any thoughts?ā
you swear you hear gojo groan from outside, no doubt listening in on your conversation with his best friend and your older brother ā no doubt finding your excuse flimsily and unbelievable. suguru, despite it all, takes the bait or chooses not to bite any further ā his eyes no longer narrowed and his face relaxed.Ā
āspeaking of things to wear for sunday nightā¦ā he begins, digging deep into his left pocket for a small red velvet box. āi got you a little something, asā¦congrats for all of your hard work recently.āĀ
suguru reaches forward to take your hand in his, turning it over so that he can place the box in the centre of your palm. you glance up at your older brother hesitantly, but he only gives you a warm reassuring smile ā gesturing for you to open it.
you do we told, the box creaking open at his hinges to reveal a real diamond necklace with a beautiful, dazzling sapphire pendant at its centre. just by looking it at it, you know that the sapphire and silver combination will contrast decadently against the deep, sun-kissed tones of your skin.
āo-oh sugu, you shouldnāt have!ā
ābut i did, think of it as my parting gift to you.ā the older geto sibling explains kindly. āyouāre going out into the world to do something special, to help people. you deserve to be spoiled before you get there.ā his gentle hands close the box for you, setting it aside on your dresser before suguru links your fingers ā staring down at you wistfully. āeverything out there is dangerous. people will try to take advantage of you and your kindness. but like gem stone in hard shell rock, you must preserve that little shine of yoursā¦ā you let him brush at a dry tear mark on your cheek, your fingers slipping down to his wrist to hold them tight. āi will always be here to look out for you, no matter what. but i wonāt always be able to be by your side.āĀ
the seriousness of the conversation overwhelms you with a weighty guilt. suguru has always looked after you and done his best to keep you away from any harm. you imagine that satoru would be right in how destroyed your brother would feel after finding out you ran into the arms of the biggest danger of all.Ā
his best friend.Ā
so you suck it up, mask your guilt and press a kiss to your brotherās cheek ā hoping that heāll forgive you if the truth ever surfaces.Ā
āi know, thank you sugu,ā comes your simple, appreciative reply. āiāll always have you, and satoru too.ā
he laughs and kisses your forehead āthat you will. but donāt get too close to him okay? heās trouble. i wouldnāt want him to mess things up for you.āĀ
āi know, suguru.āĀ
the exchange is left at that, with suguru patting your shoulder as he bids you a goodnight. your entire body sags with relief once heās gone, similar to that of a snake shedding its skin. you canāt keep lying to him like this but you donāt want to break his heart. maybe satoru was right. maybe you were wrong. either way, you feel conflicted and torn between two.
when you go to close the window, satoru is still waiting for you ā safely on the ground below. his blue eyes beg to come back inside, to be with you, but youāve danced with the devil too much tonight. gojo wonāt take you seriously. he might ruin things for you, just like your brother said.Ā
ācall me when you get home safe, okay?ā you murmur to him in order to make sure you donāt get caught.Ā
you latch your window closed right after, not even bothering to wait for gojoās reply.Ā
either youāll keep sneaking around with him or youāll eventually give him up, but for tonight ā you decide that youāll just shut the silver snake out.
āiāve never known you to like the colour blue so much.āĀ
the day before your fancy and celebratory dinner ā suguru geto decided that his spoiled little sister isn't quite spoiled enough. growing up, heād bring you toys from his shitty part time job at the department store on weekends or food from the chefās at satoruās place after hanging out with that loser all day.Ā
in college, it would be magnets or posters or big, surprisingly well-made hoodies from the campus gift shop because suguru would always tell you that his little one would be going to university too ā that youād do him proud and achieve big things. you were destined for so much more and had every ounce of support in your corner. from your brother, your parentsā¦thereās always been a pressure on your shoulder to make something of yourself, become someone worthy of their support.Ā
by the time suguru had graduated and landed his own job ā the little gifts heād gotten you became pricier and more luxurious. your brother had called them items of encouragement, a taste of what was to come once you made it out into the real world. not that he would actually ever let you spend a dime of your own, big brothers were supposed to be there for sweet little sisters like you to fall back on. he wanted you to know that he would always have you covered, have you spoiled with everything youād ever wanted ā mostly to keep your standards high, ensuring that you never settled for anything less than what your older sibling could provide you with.Ā
thatās how days like today first came about ā you called it sibling bonding time.Ā
first on the agenda was breakfast at the humble little bakery your parents often treated you both to after a batch of good grades at school. it wasnāt too far from the house and you use the walk to catch up, bouncing excitedly by your brotherās side while he gushed to you about highly classified information from his line of work. there was always something to admire about suguru, how dedicated he was to keeping you safe and making a name for himself outside of the shelter of your home.Ā
in some ways, you wanted to be just like him. it could've been that you admired suguru too much or leaned on him even more. interdependency as some would call it.Ā
that didnāt matter to you though, your relationship with your brother has always been precious to you and thatās all that matters.Ā
the rest of your early morning was spent with a pampering session, manicures, and pedicures and makeup testing ā even a trip to the hair stylist who happily braided your bountiful curls into your favourite look.Ā
next, was a late afternoon shopping spree. suguru drives you into the fanciest mall he can think of to spend the day. the elitist of the elite. designer stores were plotted at every corner, stocked to the brim with luxury goods that wouldnāt even put a dent in your brotherās salary nowadays. if you wanted it, you got it ā without a word or question against you. suguru let you fill your basket with a purse and bag for the evening ahead, and right now, the last thing on your agenda would be the perfect dress to wear to your dinner.
thatās what had brought you to this very moment, the one where you completely blank on your brother because heās noticed something different about you.Ā
something akin to a nuisance of a crush on gojo satoru.
blinking once, you turn on your heel to face suguru and snap out of your distant thoughts. āi-iām sorry, what was that?ā
the older, raven haired man smiles at you as if youāre being silly ā as though there arenāt any thoughts up in that pretty little head of yours. āi said, youāve grown awfully fond of the colour blue recently.ā he keeps his voice soft and comforting while speaking to you, avoiding any accusatory tones that might set his sensitive younger sister off. āitās not even your favourite colour.ā geto adds, approaching you by the clothes rack in what seems to be your fifth designer fashion store.Ā
you may be spoilt but at least you have taste ā the number of zeroes on the price tag was never an issue for your brother anyway.
he gestures down at the items folded over your crossed arms ā the ones you wanted to take to the back and try on. heat flashes under the surface of your skin when you realise suguru is in fact right. thereās a plethora of fabric bundled in your arms with only one thing in common.Ā
they all share the shade of a baby powder blue.Ā
itās the type of blue that reminds you of the sky on days where the weather is just right ā when the sun is able to pierce through the veil of fluffy white clouds and shine down on you. the type of blue that hides behind lilac and orange when the sun rises at dawn. the type of blue that sometimes reminds you of clear winter skies after snowfall and drawing shapes in your condensed breath on the glass.Ā
itās the type of blue akin to satoru gojoās brilliant eyes ā the ones that look as though they hold unseen stars or undiscovered galaxies, the secrets of the universe yet to be known by mankind. oh those eyes, theyāre so dreamy that you could get lost in them for a milenia and never be bored.Ā
to anyone who knows about the two of you ā it would make sense for blue to have become one of your favourite colours. it is the embodiment of satoru, everything down to loving him is blue, and bleak and beautiful all at once.Ā
yet, suguru could never know that. it would ruin everything.Ā
āi justā¦i just think itās pretty!ā internally, you feel yourself cringe and the weak excuse ā threading your fingers through the dresses in your hold. ādonāt you think the colour would like nice on me, sugu? if not, i can put them backāā
your older brother grabs at your wrist before you can even think to commit such an action ā stopping you from putting anything back onto the clothes rack. āyouād look pretty in anything you wore, little one.ā he lets out a nervous chuckle, moving to pet your head softly. āi just imagined you in something a little moreāā
āblue. itās perfect ā isnāt it? it matches my pendant tooā¦ā spinning around to face your brother, you hold a beautiful cupcake styled tulle dress to suguruās gaze, and dawn over its gemstone sweetheart necklace that has a twinkle bright enough to rival satoruās eyes. you wonder how heāll look at you once he sees it on you, contrasting perfectly with your warm complexion. a secret, not so innocent part of you hopes that satoru will just rip it off of you. the other, wishes youād calm down and behave.
suguru offers you a wavering smile, before relenting. āif thatās what you want, sweetheart.ā he hums, gesturing towards the fitting rooms. āhow about you try it on, see how it looks?āĀ
nodding your head, you shove your discarded choices into his arms and disappear into a booth ā excited to see how the article of clothing looks on you. you strip easily, kicking off your jeans while suguru wanders around impatiently outside.Ā
āsoā¦is it a boy that youāre wearing this for?ā comes his deep voice through the curtains, lifted in tone only by its teasing lilt.Ā
when you were younger, you would always gush to suguru about your crushes ā whether he cared or not, your excited and love-struck musings always struck his ear. you remember being in his room while he studied or gamed, tucked into his side or braiding his luscious black hair while telling him all about how much you loved this one boy in your class. suguru would tell you to mind your heart and keep her safe, a boy who couldnāt buy you diamonds and make you laugh wasnāt the right boy for you.
you would hate to hear what he thinks about gojo then. a man who buys you diamonds, makes you laugh, fucks you good and breaks your heart all at once.
hugging your discarded t-shirt to your chest as if to protect the beating organ, you frown. āit isnāt! why would i dress pretty for some boy?ā
āgood. boys are dangerous,ā clothing ruffles over the sound of suguruās voice as he reminds you of the lesson heās taught you many times over the years. trust no man, except for your brother. āi wonāt always be here to keep an eye on you or keep you out of said danger. so justā¦focus on making a name for yourself. especially after youāve worked so hard to graduate from uni.ā
you scoff and grab the dress ā debating whether or not you should step into it or pull it over your head. āiām not a child anymore, sugu. i donāt need you to watch out for meā¦ iām old enough to make my own choices. iām responsible too.āĀ
he watches your feet peek out from under the curtains as you mess with the dress and attempt to pull it on. getoās senses jump to high alert listening to you struggle and shuffle to pull it over your head, resisting the urge to jump in and help you. ādonāt pull it over your head when youāve just gotten your hair done,ā he grumbles in light annoyance. āstep into it, little one.āĀ
āyeah, i got it!ā comes your snappy voice in return while you readjust and try again.Ā
suguru leans against the nearest wall, crossing his arms over his chest ā he slips into silence as you slip into your dress. āi know you do, youāre a smart girl.ā you get the feeling heās not talking about how you try it on anymore, and your stomach turns as you adjust the skirts. ābut that doesnāt mean i donāt worry. once you lose your focus, everything comes crashing down. thatās what happened to satoru. i wouldnāt want you to end up like him.āĀ
again, your tummy lurches in the worst of ways at the mention of gojo and how much geto hates the idea of the two of you ever getting together. sure, satoru was childish and irresponsible ā refuting the orders of the higher ups in his familyā¦ he could be disappointing at times too, with questionable loyalty. yet sometimesā¦ sometimes satoru could be so good and stable, oftentimes reminding you of why you wanted to be with him in the first place.Ā
he is special to you, in so many ways that is beyond the web of human comprehension. you love satoru gojo so much that your lungs burn with the need for air whenever heās not around for you to breathe in.Ā
the idea of not having him around often because of your brother is like oxygen deprivation itself.
āsatoru isnāt that bad.ā you counter, toying with the beading at your neckline while you inspect yourself in the mirror. he would love it on you. ādonāt you think youāre being a little harsh on him? he is your best friend after all.ā it takes your all not to bust out and tell your brother all about your relationship with said best friend, even if it kills him and ruins the rose tinted glass above his head.
pushing the curtains open you step out just as geto starts to scold you again. āsatoru gojo is lazy and hardly competent, he wouldnāt be right for you and you know thatā oh.ā
he stops speaking when you step out to show him the dress, your eye bright and doe-like, almost pleading ā while the fabric sticks to all the right curves, making you look stunning. making you appear more mature. āhelp me do the zip fāme, suguru? i canāt reach.āĀ
ācome here, iāve got you,ā suguru whispers in quiet awe, turning you gently by the shoulders to do the honours of zipping you in at the low back of the dress. āyou look perfect, give me a twirl, hm, little one?ā
twirling as told, suguru watches proudly as your skirts flail about the place ā itās sparkle catching on the UV light up above. youāre the perfect angelic picture of his little sisterā¦he doesnāt know how heāll ever let you go.Ā
thereās still a pout on your lips undoubtedly from what heās said about gojo and as much as suguru finds your defensiveness for him weird ā he hates seeing you upset just as much. āhey, how about we go pay for your dressā¦ā he calls your name and you tilt your head up just a touch, giving your brother your attention unwillingly. āand since weāre here at the shopping centre, we might as well get dinner. my treat? iāll get you some of your favourites. perhaps boba and weāll stop by the stuffed animal store on the way outāā suguru trails off to see if youāve taken his snare and got stuck in his trap, he knows you canāt resist being spoiled at the end of the day.Ā
you nod faster than your pretty little head can catch up. āsounds like a plan, sugu!āĀ
āi knew youād say yes,ā he snickers proudly, petting your head softly for the second time that late afternoon. then, geto carefully nudges you back into the changing room, patiently waiting for you to remove the dress so he can pay for it while you switch clothes. āi think you made a good choice today. with the dress,ā he adds, drawing the curtains for you kindly. āwho knows, maybe satoru will even take his head out of his ass to pay you a compliment, admire the colour. heāll like it for sure.āĀ
you flinch behind the curtains when they close, trying to keep your voice even. āi-i canāt say iām hoping for it!ā to which suguru laughs heartily, accepting the dress as you chuck it out to him.Ā
but what youāre really hoping for, is for him to not connect the dots.Ā
to not find out about yourself and gojo until youāre ready for him too.
the first rule of a situationship, is to never answer the phone after the first ring. that's rule number one for satoru gojo.
it gives the girl the impression that youāre interested in something more than just fooling around, that you want more than the benefits of a relationship while sticking to the talking stage.
but gojo has never been one to follow the rules, not even ones he sets for himselfā¦because when you call, he answers in a heartbeat ā just to hear your sweet little voice relaying his name over your tongue and the way you giggle like a darling when he compliments you.Ā
satoru gojo likes you a lot more than he lets on, he misses you even more so. thatās why he answers on the first ring, practically kicking his feet in his king sized bedĀ ā he hasnāt heard you say his name since the night you kicked him out, and for good reasons too.Ā
hiding his presence from suguru.Ā
āhi ātoru.ā
āhi gorgeous,ā you can practically hear your loverās smile through the crackling static over the line. āmissed you,ā gojo slurs lightly, of course, is high by no means other than sukunaās supply of the good stuff ā inhaling it leisurely through a nicely rolled joint while he listens to you call out for him. your voice is so invitingā¦ so angelicā¦ and if satoru shuts his pretty eyes and tries hard enough, he can just about imagine the way youād sigh for him as his fingers slip right inside of your sweet little pussyā
āi almost told sugu about us today.āĀ
that makes satoru jump upright, choking on a deep inhale of cannabis tainted smoke. his lungs ache from trying to recover and the pain spreads to his toned thighs when heās realised that heās dropped the roll up in shock, the lit end burning through the grey sweatpants he wears. āfuck. shitā¦ that hurts. idiot.ā the silver haired man curses to himself, forgetting youāre still on the line.
āwho me?ā you simper a little on the sad side, seemingly shifting in your own bed.
satoru instantly picks up on the pouty twinge to your voice and if he hadnāt been burning to death (dramatic much?) he knows that his cock would have twitched to life between his legs at the dulcet sound. āfuck baby, no not you,ā he says, words rushing from his mouth as he reassures you. āwhy would you tell him? did he figure us out?ā
you hesitate with your next words. āw-well, umā¦not exactlyā¦ā
ācome on baby, you can say it. sājust me, satoru,ā gojo goads you with a condescending echo to each of his words, not putting too much pressure on your sweet and empty little head. ādonāt think too much. just be good and tell me.āĀ
while he waits, the man fumbles his way out of bed and stands ā somehow managing to tuck his splif between slightly chapped and pale pink lips. he tugs off his shirt, suddenly feeling too hot under the collar, and stalks his way over to his large, wide windows ā looking down onto the bustling city below.Ā
itās kind of funny, how noisy it is down there, creating almost as much of a ruckus as the racing thoughts in satoruās brain.Ā
āi wanted to tell himā¦because suguru doesnāt think that you deserve me.ā you finally say, submissively telling gojo whatās on your mind. it hurts like a bitch to hear, it stings at every unresolved trauma and open wound that he has ā not because itās a lie, but because gojo doesnāt want to accept that reality.Ā
a reality where he canāt have you, because he could never be someone who meets his best friendās standards and expectations for you.Ā
be someone that you deserve.Ā
gojo exhales the smoke through his nose, letting it sting at his nostrils while he decays from the inside out. if this were any other drug heād have smokers lungs by age twenty-seven. āwell aināt that the truth.ā he mumbles, grim.Ā
ānow satoru, why would you say that?ā you sound like youāre about to cry.
ābecause, itās not far off is it?ā gojo really doesnāt mean to snap. after all, he is high, and this topic could have him spiralling into a really bad trip ā but itās not your fault that you love him, that you want him so bad youād deny all of your brotherās wishes. thatās on him ā he made you that way, and these are simply the consequences of his own action. āfuckā¦ baby. sweetheart, you know you shouldnāt even be with me,ā he starts, tucking his blunt between two fingers while running the same hand through his moonlight-kissed hair. āiām way older than you, iām hardly ever serious about you when i should be like you wantā¦and hell, your brother sure as fuck doesnāt want me near you. you deserve better, and thatās the truth.āĀ
he hates saying all that shit to you, projecting his insecurities and inability to properly love someone onto the girl he lovesā¦but gojo does it anyway, as if he canāt control the acid in his stomach ā throwing it up everywhere or otherwise itāll burn him from the inside out.Ā
ābut i donāt want betterā¦i want you.ā comes your quiet sob, so tiny and pathetic. satoru resents himself for making you that way ā pale white lashes fluttering shut and locking away his murky ocean blue eyes. he tries to picture you happier, instead of crying over the call like you are right now.Ā
āi wantā¦ i want you too.āĀ
āthenā¦then letās tell him! together! heās my brotherā¦ and youāre his best best friend. he might understand, if you prove to him that this is what you want. that iām what you want.ā you're perkier when you speak again, and satoru (still high as a kite) wonders if heād said that just to appease you or if he really meant it.Ā
a drunk manās words are a sober manās thoughts.Ā
except gojo isnāt drunk.Ā
he will admit, heās pictured the day where you both come clean to the older geto sibling almost a million times. in his mind, satoruās seen every reaction and emotion possible play out of his best friendās face ā heās seen them in real life too. yet, the only prevalent expression on suguru getoās face when anyone ever spoke of you in a nasty manner.. was red hot rage.Ā
suguru would become another man, one who wasnāt afraid of murder, whenever it came down to you. countless individuals over the years had tried and failed at winning your favour from suguru ā as if you were a princess in a castle. each one of them would regret trying for the rest of their lives.Ā
and each time you remained none the wiser to how bad suguru really was and the lengths heād go to keep you his innocent little sister.Ā
gojo didnāt want that for himself, to face the wrath of his best friend.Ā
but maybe he could try to withstand it, for you.Ā
the girl he might actually love, after all.Ā
āwe can tryā¦iāll try for you.ā he mutters quietly over the line after sometime. satoru sounds neither hopeful or hopeless, but either way it does the trick for you. you laugh for him, airily and bubbly, it makes the man smile around the blunt resting between his rows of perfect teeth. your happiness is enough to be his happiness.Ā
he wished he allowed himself to feel that way about you more.Ā
āand i for you, ātoru. weāll be together openly someday.ā you gush.Ā
the two of you chat for a little while longer until you adorably fall asleep on gojo and his blunt finally endsā¦but by the end of it, he canāt help but get this sinking feeling. where anxiety fills the cavity in satoruās chest and drowns his optimistic heart in worry ā slowing down its steady beat.
things wonāt be as happy as he wants them to be.Ā
and he doesnāt quite have the heart or guts to tell you that.Ā
satoru gojo has always been afraid of love.Ā
itās not an emotion that comes easy to him ā like the second nature of most human beings. thereās no innate need to love someone for satoru, thereās no urge to be tender or to hold someone in high regard because of the way he feels about them. love is not something thatās bound to his DNA or feeling heās known since his very conception. or perhaps it was the environment in which he was raised, the way that his father was never home and his mother was always crying ā her choked sobs only increasing in severity when she cast her gaze upon her only child.Ā
that white hair and those blue eyes reminded her way too much of the man who couldnāt love her back.Ā
perhaps thatās why heās afraid to open up his heart, bordering up with layers of concrete and brick to protect it from the harsh reality of the world. the organ beats, it pumps blood around his body and keeps satoru alive ā but it doesnāt carry an ounce of love. itās as if heās incapable. all he feels is resentment, towards his father and towards his mother ā towards the people who did nothing but try to show him that he was worthy of warmth and intimacy.Ā
he hates them because he doesnāt deserve it. satoru is nothing but a cold husk of a human being, a shell long since abandoned by its owner or inhabitant. thereās nothing to care for behind the walls of human flesh and tissue, no open heart to hold between oneās fingers with the promise of keeping it safe. satoru gojo doesnāt love because heās afraid and it makes him feel like he canāt.Ā
the people who love you always leave. to gojo, thatās a proven fact. his memories tied the emotion are never fond ā his mother left him for a better life and better family with another man. his father left him for the company and late nights at work, a glass of brandy in his right hand. all satoru knew growing up was the cold, empty silence of his childhood home that should have been filled with happiness, laughter and warmth.Ā
the people who love you are supposed to come back. for gojo, no one ever did. no one cradled him when he cried, no one held his hand through the scariest moments of his life. no one came back for him.Ā
how could a man like that ever learn to love someone outside of himself?Ā
how could a man like him make anyone happy?Ā
satoru thinks that he would be a miserable addition to anyoneās life, a thick smog that hides the brightness from the world and blocks out any sunshine. no one around him deserves to be happy, itās why he so selfishly and recklessly tears them apart in front of the media or acts rebellious to tarnish his familyās infamous reputation. his actions have no consequences, he hurts no one he loves because he loves no one.Ā
no one except forā¦Ā
āmaster satoru,ā the matured voice of his personal driver interrupts the deep pool of thoughts gojo drowns in. āwe may be slightly late for dinner with the getos. with your permission, perhaps i can make a detour? itās not the safest route in town but it would get us there fasterāāĀ
no one except for you.
satoru sits up straight in the back seat of his expensive, sleek black car as if heās been hit with the realisation that you exist. that youāre still here and still made to be loved. the man doesnāt believe in soulmates, or red strings of fate or happily ever afterās, yet ā in the short two years that heās been fooling around with you, satoru has somehow managed to fall deeply and irrevocably in love with you.Ā
by all means, it doesnāt show ā hell, you probably donāt even know how satoru really feels about you. heās terrible at being genuine and hides behind a porcelain mask that only shows you the worst parts of him, that the entire world takes pleasure in seeingā¦but itās true. he loves you. against all odds, the very feeling has managed to take root in the white haired rich boyās chest, like the smallest flower blooming in the harshest of tundras. thereās something satoru didnāt know, that love has resistance, and no matter how hard he tries to act like he doesnāt ā it will always find a way to thrive.
satoru might love you so much it makes him physically sick ā one look at you and heās rendered weak in the knees and short of breath. youāve got a smile full of sunshine that warms satoru even with the bone chilling air outside. your eyes are enticing, deep pools of chocolate and hazel notes that drag him in like a fish on a line. your lashes are always soft against his skin, long enough to rival his even though you comment about how much you adore his every time youāre together.Ā
youāve got the man under a fucking spell and heās not sure he ever wants it to be broken. at first, you were just something sweet to snack on, someone that gojo couldnāt have which only made him want you more. youād be his pet ā nothing more. heād keep you at arms length until he was bored and could toss you away. however, over time, gojoās want grew to love and even now, youāve no clue how much you affect him, he regrets not showing that to you more.
he still treats you like youāre a child, a naive little thing because heās terrified of opening up to you, frightened by the mere thought of you running for the high hills once you see what the man who loves you is really like.Ā
satoru takes to adjusting his tie as the car switches lanes into a less polluted route ā avoiding the evening traffic so that he can get to the destination faster. for some reason, anxiety spikes gojoās blood stream with nervous hormones clinging to each red cell. the car becomes too enclosed, too compacted and the dark night outside doesnāt help him much either ā itās as if heās lost in the void of space trapped with his own feelings.Ā
his tongue darts out to wet the seal of his pink lips and his twitching fingers pull at the stupid necktie his PA had picked out for him tonight. thereās one thing that heās forgetting, one thing thatās worse than loving you ā a guilt that sneaks up on gojo when heās truly alone with his riveting thoughts.
the man lets out a shuddering breath. āfuck. me.ā he says quietly, the two words colourful on his tongue.
thereās suguru too.
and the betrayal heāll feel when he finally realises that satoru gojo is fucking his little sister.
gojo loves getou. though itās a different kind of love in comparison to what he wants to share with you. itās brotherly. friendly. and it goes back years beyond the situationship the white haired man has trapped you in. it would absolutely kill your brother if he ever found out, ruining the supposedly unbreakable bond theyāve developed over the time that theyāve known each other.Ā
a flash of pain flashes across gojoās chest as if heās been slashed with a knife ā he grips the car handle tight, his knuckles turning white with how forceful his grip is. you and suguru are all that he has. the only family who ever truly cared for him and treated him like their own. of course his selfish actions and self-centred mindset would find a way to come between you both. he would be sure to kill the delicate sibling bond you have, satoru is an asshole like that.
itās why he can never tell suguru about the fooling around youāve done over the last two years ā he would lose his one and only best friend. in the same breath, he could lose you too. youāre a smart girl, youāll learn to leave him eventually and spread your own wings with pride.
the both of you were better off without him.Ā
satoru was nothing but a chaotic storm that left nothing but wreck and destruction in its wake. it was an absolute guarantee that he would tear the two of you apart, create more than surface level crack in the crust of the world you two have created together. heās just no good, nothing good ever comes of him.Ā
but the love he has for you, building in slow stacks between the gaps in his rib cage, is addictive ā much like that buzz from weed or the stale taste of a cigarette on his tongue. heāll never have enough of you, and that very fact is what makes satoru gojo the most vile human heās ever known.Ā
heād rather die than give you up. rather tear you apart from your brother than let you go.
the admission to himself makes the play boyās stomach turn and twist wrongly, the air in his lungs turning bitter and clogging up his throat. gojoās hand slams against the door of his car, fumbling to wind down the window and feel the cool bite of cold against his skin.Ā
āp-pull over,āĀ satoru whispers, more so to himself in the back of the vehicle than to anyone else. his nails dig into the rough skin on his palms, and the blood rushes through his ears ā louder and louder. painfully so.Ā
the driver looks to his master in the rear view mirror ā concern sketched upon his features. ābut master satoru, weāre just a few minutes awayāāĀ
āi said, fucking pull over!ā gojo damn near screams in reply, throwing a piercing blue gaze at his poor driver. his head throbs heavily with guilt so by the time the car comes to a screeching halt, satoruās close to throwing up on the sidewalk. ās-shit.ā
the bile tastes like soured guilt in his mouth ā but nothing comes. heās sure he looks like a fool, half hanging out of his mercedes, pale as the silvering moon with the indication thatĀ heās going to be sick.Ā
āsatoru,ā his driver speaks to him tenderly, like a loving father would to his child. a comfort gojo never had the luxury of. āitās not too late to go back home, i can have one of the maids ring suguru to let him know you wonāt be in attendance. you donāt look your best.āĀ
the white haired manās ragged breaths as he stands hands on knees in the middle of the road accompany the late night ambience ā rushing cars and sirens, heels clattering against concrete pavement and groups of people laughing away. the sounds ring loud in his ear, overloading gojo and his guilty conscience until thereās a warm hand on his shoulder.Ā
his driver, reassuring him once again.Ā
āitās okay, satoru. just breathe.āĀ
the statement somehow brings him back to present day, along with a heavy breath of frosty air. his driver rubs his back in smooth circles until satoru is able to stand to his full height ā less queasy looking than he was before.Ā
āiād like to go,ā he clears his throat, replacing his woozy expression with his signature bright eyed, sparkly-white toothy grin. āi made a promise, to the people i love.āĀ
with a firm nod and gentle smile, satoruās driver gives his employer one last firm pat on the back before returning to his position behind the wheel ā ready to make the rest of the commute to the restaurant.Ā
it takes a moment for satoru to slip back into the car ā and during that time, he reflects. he may be selfish, he may be an asshole, he may be sick and twisted right down to the core. but at the centre of all that, is his compassionate love for you and he would do anything to prove it.Ā
even if it means losing it all, just to be with you in the way youāve always wanted.
satoru gojo is not as brave as he thought.Ā
the rest of his car ride to the restaurant is uneventful ā aside from the silver haired playboyās random musings. the pep talk he gives to himself while tugging at the tight loop of his neck tie. everything will be okay.
itās just dinner with you, and dinner with the getos. an event that heās attended dozens of times over the years because suguru is his best friend and your parents love him.Ā
except this isnāt just dinner.Ā
this is make or break.Ā
should he choose to make things official with you, it would shatter the very foundation of his relationship with suguru. the same if satoru chooses to ignore what youāre asking of him.Ā
the nerves unload on satoru as he jogs up the smooth marbled steps at the forefront of the restaurant ā hesitating when the concierge on duty holds open the mahogany framed and glass panelled door. he canāt bring himself to go inside and face the consequences of his own actions over the last two years.Ā
just as he spins on his heels to run away, chelsea boots clicking against with every step ā the sky starts to rumble and unleashes its heavenly tears upon the land below. rain.
gojoās car has long since vacated the fancy premises ā leaving him with no true escape home. he could just call a cab, call his driver, but duty and respect for his family away from family, for you, roots him to his spot outside of the restaurant.Ā
he spends the next twenty minutes with a rolled up joint between his ever glossy, plush pink lips.
the weed does nothing to mollify gale force winds and torrential downpour set heavy over gojoās mind. his entire body is tense with apprehension, spreading cold from the top of his head to the tips of his toes. the weather itself causes gojoās fingers to go stiff as he inhales the addictive fumes, a burnt amber crowning the other end of his blunt.
āsince when did you smoke, satoru?ā
satoru coughs and the smoke goes down wrong, he looks up at his intruder with bleary eyes that soften once his gaze lands. āstarted two years ago,ā he says to suguru as his smile turns wistful. ācouldnāt find a real reason to quit.āĀ
the reality of his words are masked by the sound of heavy rain hitting the ground, the tops of cars and the restaurantās outer steps. itās you, that satoru canāt seem to quit.Ā
if he dares to stop, heāll go mad with withdrawals and a nicotine patch wonāt fix him.Ā
āyou really should stop getting addicted to the things that are bad for you.ā suguru scolds his best friend, sidling up beside him.Ā
like you, his sister?Ā
satoru doesnāt deserve the aura of his warmth as they stand with one another. āyeah? no shit.āĀ
the younger of the pair holds his hand out for the joint, which gojo passes easily. the city bustle fills up the silence between them ā occupying every particle of air that buzzes with kinetic energy in that very same space. silences shared between gojo and geto were not uncommon, they were the type of friends who could communicate a million words to one another in a blink of an eye. but tonightās soundlessness feels tense, thick with an uncomfortable awkwardness that neither of them know the source of.Ā
be that as it may, satoru has always been able to mask his true feelings from the world and so he turns to his old friend slyly, giving him a casual punch to the shoulder while they smoke their worries away.Ā
āwhatās got you so wound up, suguru?ā satoru asks, playing coy and covering up.Ā
beady, blackened and tired eyes settle on his taller frame ā trying to read the small print that codes each and every one of satoru gojoās actions and behaviours. to the untrained eye (or anyone who hadnāt been practically raised by his side) gojoās being his normal and cocky, maybe even obnoxious, self. though, to suguru ā a man whoās been beside gojo through it allā¦ thereās something missing.Ā
a puzzle piece that doesnāt quite fit.
suguru plays along, moving his chess piece along the board of the game satoru is playing. heāll figure it out eventually.Ā
letting out a puff of glacier grey fumes ā the older geto sibling shrugs and taps the ashes onto the floor. narrowly missing gojoās expensive patent boots.
āsheās grown up so fast,ā he admits slowly, with a husky chuckle ā probably from the smoke. āiām scared she wonāt need me anymore.ā suguruās voice is usually so full of endearment and pride when he speaks of you but this time, all dazzling and pure emotion seems to be lost on him.Ā
the very notion scares satoru.Ā
he swipes the splif back to relieve the queasy feeling stirring deep in his gut once again. āshe can take care of herself.ā gojo mutters, coolly.
āi know that.ā suguru replies, smoothly and icily. ābut if she doesnāt need me anymore, she wonāt listen to me anymore. thereāll be no one to warn her of the people whoāll take advantage of that. her ability to care for herself. i set a high standard for her, i donāt want anyone to claim they can do a better job than me.ā
your brother is protective above all things, heād rather kill a man than let you get hurt. satoru finds the sentiment both admirable and terrifying all at once.Ā
āyouāve done enough, man, how about you let her go?ā
suguru turns snarky in response, teeth bared like a wild animal protecting its young. āmaybe youāll never understand the fickle connections of loveā¦but adopted or not she is my little sister.ā he asserts, glaring daggers into satoruās skull as he smokes with a hand covering his mouth nonchalantly. hiding the quiver of his lip that shows how much he cares about this. about possibly screwing your life up. āiād rip the heavens apart for her if she asked, i love her that much. i often wonder if any person would do the same for her.ā
little does suguru knowā¦satoru would do the absolute same for you and more. he would kill, he would die, he would destroy all for you. until he was bloody and raw. anything it took for you to keep on smiling up at him like that, he would do. and suguru would never know, because heād end the world if he knew it was satoru that had defiled you.Ā
satoru is such a coward.Ā
neither of the men most important in your life speak after that, though, they continue sharing the joint until itās nothing but burt orange ashes and fumes laying across their minds. the concierge does butt in at some point, kindly (and with a tight lipped smile) pointing out that the restaurant is three michelin stars and that smoking isnāt preferred.Ā
satoru hates rules, so he spits on the steps and chucks the blunt to the floor ā stomping it out.
suguru only chuckles at his best friendās antics, smacking him upside the head as he jogs up to the grand entrance ā gojoās hands in his pockets, his once crisp tuxedo messy with burnt ash and rain water. gojo stops just shy at of the sleek, pearlescent moulded handles and throws his mop of silver hair back over his shoulder.
āare we doing this thing or what, suguru?ā
they share a familiar, all knowing smile.Ā
āyeah, satoru. letās do this.āĀ
without even knowing, that everything is about to change.
youāve always been a little nervous, especially without a grounding presence beside you.
for many yearsā¦ your brother, suguru, was that presence. he knew all the best ways to keep you calm ā like that little tune he taught you to tap onto your desk during quiet exam hauls, or that method of breathing so your lungs were so full of air and you stopped holding it before public speaking. suguru always knew best.Ā
but nowadays, you donāt find yourself seeking serenity in him. as if you were at a crossroads, your head always turns in the direction of someone you love with almost every corner of your heart. that someone being satoru. he may use you, he may fuck you and fling you to the side when heās done but he grounds you. even when he isnāt trying to. in the subtle way that he toys with the beads braided into the ends of your hair while you sleep over at his place, or grabs at your waist in public spaces so that you donāt get lost or bullied by paparazzi. in the way that gojo makes you breakfast after bruising you and breaking your back beyond belief the night before ā just to make it up to you.
satoru cares, even if it doesnāt look like it, he does.
and it almost makes you sick to your stomach ā the thought of you craving his attention to that level.
your dainty fingers and blush-tone acrylic nails toy with the heavy pendant draped around your neck ā the one that suguru gifted you. he had told you it shines under every light at every angle possible and youāre sure with the crystal chandeliers above, itās blinding.Ā
āstop that,ā your mother scolds you warmly, in her own charming way of easing your nerves. āyouāll break that big expensive gift from your brother.ā you cast a glance upwards from its fixation on the pearl white tablecloths and glinting silver table settings to focus on your parents. as per usual, your father is too engrossed in reading every detail of the menu to notice your discomfort and nerves, while your mother canāt seem to look away. reading you to filth, much like suguru does.Ā
her efforts do nothing to help calm you down.Ā
your hand shifts, taking to twirling the cutlery instead. she sighs, and you shrink in on yourself ā trying to take up as little space as possible. āām sorry,ā comes your hushed little bleat.
ānever you mind.ā she comments, giving you a once over before digging through her purse for a napkin ā no doubt to dab at the corner of your mouth like a mother usually does. āi donāt know why youāre so skittish. your exams are over and youāve graduated! tonight is about celebrating you! itās just your brother, his friend, and us.āĀ
thatās just it. itās your brother and his friend. neither of them are aware of what might go down tonight.Ā
you wished you hadnāt told satoru that you want his commitment ā maybe then you wouldnāt be scared shitless in a tight dress at an upscale restaurant downtown. maybe then you wouldnāt be dreading satoruās decision or suguruās reaction to that decision.Ā
you only wished you werenāt so selfish, to crave love from more than one person in two completely different ways.Ā
the love from your brother should be enough, heās only gone and done so much for you.Ā
but it isnāt. and that makes you feel sick.Ā
you want to be loved in the way that plays out in movies. where the guy chases the girl through an airport just to confess how much he needs her. or stands in the thunderous rain to tell her how sorry he is.Ā
you want that from satoru. deep down, you know he wants it too.Ā
the only thing that stands in your way is the affection that radiates so strongly off of your brother ā like an umbrella protecting you from heavenās downpours.Ā
itās been almost twenty minutes since your brother left his seat at your side to retrieve satoru fromā¦well, wherever he is ā like a stray cat picked up by a caring and kind-hearted stranger. you donāt know howāll act when you see them together, side by side but you do know that ever second ticks by has you angstier and angstier.Ā
the waiter has come by at least four times, asking if youāre ready to order, ready for drinks, ready to be served. āno,ā you mumble politely on his fifth return ā anxious to the point where your grip on your sterling silver fork has your knuckles turning white. āweāre waiting for two others, weāre waiting forāā
āthere you two are! we were starting to think the wind had swept you up!ā your mother coos as she always does whenever she sets her sights on her favourite two boys. she stands, immediately moving to wrap her arms around suguruās taller, broad frame as if she hasnāt seen him in a millennia. āsuguru! you had your poor family worried sick.āĀ
your father doesnāt look up from the menu and youāre sure that you look a frazzled mess ā but all your brother does is offer up his signature, delightful closed-eye smile, squeezing your mother back in reply. āsorry, ma. i got caught up with looking for this one.ā he says warmly, jabbing a thumb into satoruās side.Ā
satoru hasnāt looked away from you since heād arrived at the table. his gaze even follows you as you stand.
he canāt help it, youāre beautiful.Ā
the dress that you wear hugs every dip and curve of your body, the satin material of your corset and tulle of your skirt in a shade of baby blue to rival his eyes contrasting perfectly against your deep skin. youāve done your hair in the way that he likes, curled the ends of your braids with loose ones framing the roundness of your youthful face. if you were the last thing satoru gojo ever saw, surrounded by angelic light, he would be happy. he would be content.Ā
for you, satoru looks like a god amongst mankind. even though his clothes are askew and lightly washed with rain, heās still perfect to you. pearlescent droplets coat is luxurious white lashes as they flutter against his pale ivory cheeks. his air, all the same, is pushed back from his forehead ā exposing those dreamy eyes to you. they hold so much love, interwoven between each greyish-navy fleck dotted against his pupils. love that is all saved up for you.
a bright and angelic grin breaks out across your hot chocolate fenty glossed lips ā almost blinding to the regular man but the most beautiful thing to satoru. the waiter prompts you, asking if youāre ready to order once more, to which you respond without looking āyes, thank you.ā in a breathy, wispy tone.
jumping between both yours and gojoās line of sight, your mother pops the bubble that youāre both in. āsatoru gojo! is that you?ā she squeals with a fond tone. āwhy do you look so skinny? have you been eating properly?ā
your lover squirms like a child being picked apart as your mother reaches up to pinch his cheeks.Ā
āleave the boy alone, dear, iām sure heās been eating just fine.ā comes your dadās uninterested quip. āsatoru my boy, how have you been?āĀ
you sink back into your seat patiently while satoru greets your parents ā the charm rolling off of him in radiating heat waves. āiāve been eating ma, though i think youād have a fit if you saw what i was eating,ā he kisses your motherās cheek softly while she laughs so hard you think she might pop, and sets a firm hand on your fatherās shoulder. āiām good old man, thanks for askinā! hope youāre cutting back on the liquor.āĀ
āoh son, you know i donāt do any of that anymore!ā
satoru scoffs kittenishly, gesturing between your dad and himself. āyeah, and iāve stopped being the family disappointment!ā
your parents love satoru. you can tell by the way they helplessly fall for his bravado and charisma. heās magnetising ā itās hard not to fall for satoru in all of the ways possible to mankind. if he wasnāt so afraid of taking you seriously, you canāt help but think that heād fit right into your family unit of four. it would be perfect, he would be perfectā¦as your boyfriend. your man. always by your side without hiding in and calling for you from the shadows.Ā
if only you werenāt such a coward.Ā
if only he werenāt so afraid.
if onlyā¦
suguru clears his throat in faux annoyance, pushing his best friend down by his wide-spanning into an unoccupied seat at the round table so that heāll stop making a scene ā despite how cheery it is. ābehave yourself satoru! at least until i order the drinks.ā your brother laughs, ruffling the moonlight locs on gojoās head. he turns to you, face so bright and full of love. āany preferences, little sister?ā
āmoscato!ā you nod without hesitation. you like things on the sweeter side.
āi knew youād say that,ā suguru affirms, taking his leave from the table. āiāll see if the staff have anything special for you in the back.ā
if only suguru wasnāt your older brother.Ā
maybe then you wouldnāt feel such nauseating levels of guilt as gojo swaps chairs to be one closer to you. maybe then you wouldnāt have to keep your face plain and your body rigid as familiar, pale and slender fingers danced up the inner thigh of your dress ā beneath the cupcake skirt, to settle comfortingly and dangerously on itās apex. maybe then you wouldnāt have to try so hard to control yourself around satoru and especially in front of your parents ā who have taken to digging through the fancy menu together while the buzz of the table dies down in suguruās absence.
youāre so nervous that you fear someone might hear the loud thump of your heart against its cage and the blood rushing through your ears ā you donāt even want to look at satoru because you know that with how close he is, youāll fall apart the minute that you do.
but then he squeezes your thigh, in a tender and affectionate gesture ā tracing a heart over the blistering hot patch of your beautiful brown skin just to calm you down. because satoru gojo knows you like no other man. better than anyone, better than your brother even.
āyou lookā¦ā he starts, his usually husky voice barely above a whisper. the words coagulate in his throat ā held back by tethers of spinelessness and debilitating fear. āyouāre stunning, sweetheart.ā gojo compliments you quietly, the sweet string of words nipping at your ears softly ā his long, lavish lashes tickling at the crown of your head from how close heās gotten by leaning down.
if you turn your head now, you might even kiss him and every fibre of your being prickles with anticipation ā desperate to do so. āyouāre not so bad yourself, satoru.āĀ
his laugh fills your lower tummy with warmth. your heart rate picks up too.
āi mean it,ā gojo reiterates. heās desperate for you to look at him, for you to touch him. instead you bury your nose in an Ć la cart menu that youāre not even truly reading because the circumstances donāt allow for kissing, and holding and touching. not until satoru grows a pair and tells suguru the truth about your relationship and his feelings for you. āiāve never seen anyone more beautiful.ā
you can feel the heat from his breath coast across the surface of your cheek like a condensed mist over the warmed layer of seawater. it caresses you softly, sending shivers down your spine. āyou look rather handsome too, satoru.ā you joke, poking the hungry bear in its den by tilting your head ever so slightly in his direction.Ā
he smiles like he always does right before he kisses you, slow and sexy, but the sweet moment is interrupted by the sound of heavy glass borderline slammed on the table ā right into the crevice between yourself and gojo.Ā
you dart apart, hearts racing and mind frazzled, only to find that suguru has returned with the wine he requested specifically for you. his face is hard set when you look up at him, his obsidian eyes darkened with suspicion and fear strikes you in the chest ā he knows something, he suspects even more.
āsugu what are youā!ā
your older brother lifts his chin with narrowed, cat like eyes. āi want to make a toast.ā he announces, slicing through your words with a butcher's knife so sharp it makes both you and gojo squirm uncontrollably. like children being scolded for breaking the rules.
both of your parents put down their menus, excited, happy to be with the children they raised (including gojo) ā they mistake your brotherās interruption for enthusiasm to celebrate your achievements.Ā
āsuguru, weāve hardly ordered anything!āĀ
āitās never too late to start the festivities, ma.ā he responds with a sly tone and slips into gojoās previously empty seat to open the bottle of pink moscato. the cork popping makes you jump skittishly, and gojoās hand slips away from your thigh underneath the table.Ā
the loss of his touch reminds you that as long as your brother is around, youāll never be anything more than a little secret to satoru.
liquid gold in the shade of dusted rose pink is passed around the table in crystal glasses ā raised in honour of you. suguru says your name, the bulk of his voice full of pride.
āa toast to you, my little sister.āĀ
you smile, tight lipped but warm ā the guilt rushing back you.Ā
but then gojoās hand returns to the apex of your thigh, smoothing over the skin under your dress to calm you down once more.
āand everything that you have achieved. congrats on graduating, squirt.ā satoru finishes suguruās toast lovingly, approved by your parents who break out into a round of applause before flagging down a waiter to get the real celebrations underway. they tell you to order whatever you would like, but you take to downing the crisp, sweet flavours of your wine first.
you chug the beverage like itās cheaply made beer from the college parties youād been to ā the ones satoru stopped you from going to, the ones that you avoided out of loyalty to him where you sought out the commitment he wasnāt ready to give you, a light buzz simmers over your brain, dulling down your high-alert senses and you hope that the alcohol makes you feel anything but present in the moment so that you miss the tense look that gojo and geto share beside you.Ā
suguru is politely seething and satoru is playing pretend ā acting as if thereās nothing wrong or nothing between you. your lover swirls his wine around in his glass, the pink tinted elixir sloshing over its edges before he takes a casual slip, ignoring your brotherās obvious dissatisfaction with satoruās little addition to his toast.
āsatoru.ā
you gulp and fixate your gaze on other happenings deeper into the restaurant. your parents make their order. satoru squeezes your thigh once more.
āsuguru.āĀ
could this be it? the moment that gojo tells the truth and the moment that your eldest sibling accepts what you have with his best friend? you twitch in your seat as the confrontation brews and the thunder of their clashing personalities and morals begin to strike. all suguru has to do is ask if he suspects something, and all satoru has to do is confirm the truth. say that he loves you, that youāre his girlfriend while your brother accepts it and is happy for you.Ā
you wish. that would be an ideal world.Ā
āyouāre in my seat, satoru,āĀ is what geto settles on, the crescendo of their confrontation falling flat ā missing a key note. āyouāre sitting next to my sister. i was supposed to sit there.ā
āreally?ā all satoru does is grin, and if you looked close enough, you could see the mischief dancing between the navy flecks in his stunning eyes.Ā
the waiter comes to take yours, your brotherās and your loverās orders (after tending to your parents for most of the interaction) ā not giving suguru any time to protest his best friendās faux confusion.
gojo takes to swirling his moscato once more ā daring to look your brother in his eye over the rim of his crystal glass.Ā
āi hadnāt even noticed.āĀ
the rest of the actual dinner seems to go smoothly after that.
your boys tone down their bickering in favour for scaring down tiny Michelin star starters ā micro herbs and all. theyāre still so childish, even as they sit either side of you, picking from one anotherās plates in the same way that they did back when you were kids. you find yourself relaxing as the night progresses too ā maybe this isnāt so bad and things could work out between the three of you. suguru and satoru have been joined at the hip for as long as you can remember, a girl (one that they both knew), let alone suguruās sister wouldnāt come between the bond that they had.Ā
by the time the main dishes are served, you have enough alcohol in your system to feel nothing but a pleasant buzz in place of the nerves that once contaminated your bloodstream. you had nothing to be worried about, everyone was getting along, laughing and smiling while your parents indulged the three of you in drunken repeats of famed moments from your childhood.Ā
you do your best to listen in, though the story about how suguru and satoru pulled out one of your wobbly teeth in third grade is one that youāve heard too many times to count. itās sweet though, that your parents are able to reminisce like this while youāre all togetherā¦especially since suguru works long hours so far from home and youāll be off to a new city by the time the month ends.Ā
even just having satoru there makes the night feel complete. thereās so much love to go around.Ā
there would be even more love if suguru knew about how you and satoru truly felt for one another.Ā
youāre only sucked back into the bustling conversation when geto pinches your side ā jutting his head in the direction of your mother so that you can give your attention to her next story. āoh honey!ā she coos and you cringe, chugging back your latest glass of wine in order to prepare yourself for whatever embarrassment is about to come next. ādo you remember when your poor brother threw his white laundry in with those cute red undies you brought ā suguru was wearing pink for months!āĀ
the whole table bursts into obnoxious laughter, and you sink down into your seat.Ā
āmom! oh my god!āĀ
āi remember that,ā your brother comments casually, gaze slinking over to his best friend in amusement. āsatoru wouldnāt let me hear the end of it, told me i looked like a barbie doll. what were you even doing with underwear like that anyways.āĀ
āsugu, not you too!ā
ānow i remember the pink shirts butā¦ the underwear? i would have loved to see the culprit.ā safely says with a voice as sultry as it is silky smooth ā sending a jolt of electricity down your spine until it fizzles out at your tailbone. he gets scolded by your parents (more so by mom) and earns himself a harmless glare from geto whoās been loosened up by alcohol but from you ā youāre furiously humiliated.Ā
under the table, you lift a foot to stamp down hard on his own with your heel, but gojo is quick to react ā instead dragging his foot up the length of your calf, inciting you to join him in an enticing game of footsie.
you slam your hands down on the table in surprise causing everyone to look your way before you sheepishly wave them off. āstop it, gojo.ā you snarl through the cage of your gritted teeth.Ā
he clicks his tongue, delighted by how flustered you are. āiām not doing anything, pretty girl,ā he purrs shallowly into your ear. ācāmon now, pay attention to the story.āĀ
āit was a frilly little thing, far too inappropriate for someone her age.ā your dad chimes in and gojo nods ā lifting his foot higher and higher until youāre shuddering all over. you donāt even think to stop him.Ā
āmom, dad. please stop before i end it all.ā you struggle to place your words in the correct order, distracted by gojoās touch. you place your hands under your thighs, keen on controlling your squirming as they squish together ever so slightly. you just know that satoru is enjoying this and if you looked at him youād see satisfaction evident all over his stupidly handsome face. he likes knowing how much of an effect he has on you, that itās easy to make you writhe all for him.Ā
āsorry sweetheart, but they really were cute! i know you were just trying out new things. starting to act mature for your age.āĀ
satoru chimes in again, leaning in a little closer so that his breath just tickles the shell of your ear. ābet they looked even cuter on her.āĀ
squeaking in embarrassment, you kick your chair back until it screeches loudly across the floor in a weak attempt to put some distance between yourself and the man whoās practically torturing you. of course, your escape plan doesnāt work, because satoru keeps a strong grip on the bottom of your seat ā dragging it forward, back under the table, and closer to him, that same hand now resting on the wooden frame beneath your locked knees.Ā
coughing to cut up the tension growing between the two of you, suguru cuts in. ānot as cute as her diaper phase!ā from there, everyone is distracted by gushing over even more embarrassing childhood memories of you as a baby. obviously, leading to some tears from your parentsā end ā youāve grown so much, come so far. itās only natural that theyād be emotional on a night like this, one meant to celebrate your achievements.
what isnāt natural, is the fact that youāre three seconds away from jumping satoru gojoās bones right in front of them.Ā
god, he drives you fucking insane. just from messing with you under expensive linen tablecloths too ā his thumbs brush over your knees, your feet tangled together and if he leans over you anymore you might just turn your head and kiss him.Ā
you fight that urge to do so by grasping at the cool silver pendant around your neck ā tapping your acrylic jelly nails against the fat sapphire gem at its centre. the jewellery feels like ice against the temperate surface of your skin, a dirty need starting to bubble and brew beneath it hotly. one that can only be satisfied by satoru gojo.Ā
the heat spreads to the back of your neck and under the collar of your dress, even warming the chain that hangs loosely around it. it could just be the alcohol, but you know itās something more. itās an itch you canāt scratch on your own and a fire you canāt put out without help. suddenly the metal of your pendent is warm to the touch and slippery between your fingers whilst you continue to play with it in newfound sweaty hands.Ā
a subtle gasp slips past your chocolate glossed lips when the chain snaps somewhere and the rest of the metal slides between your buttery fingers, your pendant gathers at your bosom before dropping to the floor with a clatter. feeling around your neck for your precious gift, you let out a louder whine upon realising where itās gone. suguru spares you a moment of his attention, concern drawn against the gentle slopes of his features.Ā
āyou okay, little one?āĀ
āy-yeah,ā you exhale slowly, trying to calm the anxiety that fires across your neurons. āi think i umā¦ i dropped my necklace under the table.āĀ
an award winning beam slots itself perfectly on your brotherās lips as he chuckles under his breath. āyouāre so clumsy, need my help?ā
ājust keep mom and dad distracted for me? itās just under the table, iāll be back for their next story before anyone notices.ā you attempt to joke in order to appease him, you donāt need suguru to get a closer look at how wildly turned on you are nor the fact that gojo is sitting comfortably with his hand between your knees ā inches away from where you need him most, where heās been so many times behind your brotherās back.Ā
not to mention the fact that youāre still fucking playing footsie.
suguru shrugs and drops the subject, tuning back into your fatherās rendition of your first skatepark experience. the one where youād tried to copy satoru and suguru and attempted a trick on your chunky bratz scooter and went flying off the ramp. ouch.
you dip beneath the table cloth like youāre diving back under the surface of water, fishing around for your lost and precious pirateās treasure. you canāt tell if satoruās moved his hand, you donāt feel it slyly ghosting over the insides of your thighs while you lean forward and search for your necklaceā¦ not that it should matter, itād be far from appropriate to have his long, slender fingers brushing up against your panties from under your skirts. it wouldnāt be right for that to escalate, for said fingers to push past your entrance and brush up against the spot satoru knows is guaranteed to make you scream. it would be immoral for you to even think about him sliding his cock into your wet, needy cunt too. somewhere secret, somewhereā
oh!
you giggle with triumph when your fingertips graze the cold metal decor of your necklaceā¦ however, when you move to grab it, you touch something else. something warmer. you touch him.Ā
with baited breath, you let your bambi eyes carefully trail up to gojoās face ā drinking in the hazy look that he gives you, the swirl of desire taking a flame in his brilliant, cerulean eyes. just by being under his gaze you feel as though youāre drowning and burning alive all at once. satoru is the one who moves first, taking your smaller hand in his large one before he turns it over ā palm facing the sky and places your sapphire pendant inside of it.Ā
then, one by one, he closes your fingers around your brotherās gift and then brings your closed fist up to his plush lips, pressing a wet kiss to your knuckles as you gasp. āquiet, baby. wouldnāt want anyone to know what youāre up to down hereā¦āĀ
his words die off, licking his lips slowly, stare predatory while it trails all over your body. ābut ātoru,ā you mewl enticingly, keeping your tones hushed under the table. the sweet, dulcet sound makes his eyes flutter shut and body quiver with a wave of hunger, his sexual appetite for you growing by a tenth fold . āi need you.ā you never make this easy for him. if someone were to take a peek beneath the table cloth, they would see the tension brewing between you both and put two and two together.Ā
youād be discovered before having the chance to tell everyone yourself.Ā
time is ticking, your guests might start to grow suspicious if you donāt make a move and goad satoru into solving the ache between your thighs. so you jump the gun, grabbing his collar and tug him forward for a sly, sloppy yet quick kiss. āi wonāt say it again after this, ātoru,ā comes your cheeky pant. āi need you.ā
satoru chokes.
with that, you withdraw from your scared little bubble below the table and stand straight up ā a dazzling and guiltless gin on display for your entire family to see. āiām going to the bathroom,ā you explain sweetly. āneed to fix my pendant ān powder my nose. iāll be back.āĀ
your family stops chattering briefly to acknowledge your wish, but as you leave ā suguru stands too and grabs your wrist. āneed me to help? i know the clasp can be finicky. i should have gotten you something easier to useāā
god bless suguru, your loveable brother, ever the cockblock.Ā
āthatās alright man, iāve got her covered,ā satoru suddenly appears behind you, the sweltering heat of his heaving chest singeing through the fabric of your dress. he places a hand on the small of your back, grinning with a charming spark to his eyes ā deliberately masking āyou should keep an eye on your parents, you know how they get when theyāve had too much to drink.āĀ
now, itās not that geto doesnāt trust his best friendā¦ after all, gojo has been a constant presence in your life ever since the three of you were kids. itās just that sometimes, a feeling of unease stirs within suguru at the mere thought of you being alone together ā itās like one of those gut feelings you get before something goes terribly wrong.Ā
yet, as usual, satoru is right. if no one keeps an eye on getoās parents, who knows what trouble theyāll get into on their own.Ā
āalright, fine. just donāt take too long, thereās only so many stories they can tell before dessert.ā suguru reminds you plainly, as if not to assume the worst. he gives you both an approving nod, before letting you go. āand satoru, wait outside for her?āĀ
the white haired man snickers, a languid and jeering smirk slowly tugging on the corners of his mouth. āyou got it, suguru!āĀ
he even adds a salute for effect, allowing you to lead him away from the table and towards your gateway of sin.
the uneasy feeling in suguruās stomach intensifies as he watches you both walk further and further away.Ā
they say that a mirror is the window to your soul, reflecting how you truly feel on the inside.Ā
the girl staring back at you in the squeaky clean glass looks nothing like the little girl suguru helped to raise. her soul is impure, blackened by sin and the dark desire for human contact ā the salacious dance and ritual between scorching hot bodies and saliva tainted tongues. she laughs at you over rushing tap water from the bathroom sink and calls to you like a sirenās song, inviting you to give into her ā let her take the lead on the temptations plaguing your mind.Ā
why did you even suggest this?Ā
youād been bold, hinted to satoru that you wanted him to devour you, ruin you in the bathroom of the restaurant your loving, kind older brother had picked especially to celebrate you. you knew better than this, you wanted better than this. you no longer wanted to be just a quick fuck to satoru gojo.Ā
you wanted to be his girlfriend.Ā
thatās what youād asked him to do tonight. to make you his in front of everyone who loved you. but here you were, slutting yourself out for him like you always do.Ā
over the water pouring down the drain, you pick up on the sound of knocking at the bathroom door ā prompting you to twist the tap and cut off the flow of water. unlike the flow of lustful hormones that shoot through your bloodstream and straight to your clit.
a new kind of excitement blossoms in your chest once you turn around to unlock the door ā suguru would hate to see you so thrilled at the concept of doing something so wrong. you return to your position in front of the bathroom sink before your lover enters, toying with the silver chain on your pendant again ā ignoring the burning feeling you get as it weighs down your palm.
the burn of underlying guilt.
āi can help with that.ā
satoru purrs seductively as he enters the bathroom, gesturing to your pendant. you donāt turn to look at him but keep your eyes trained in his movements in the mirror. even when he isnāt touching you, you feel like you canāt breathe. his presence overshadows your own, shrinking you down into a tiny toy that sings oh so pretty for him whenever he wants.
you hear the lock click shut behind you. anticipation hums through the air like an electric current.
āthe clasp is a little tricky,ā comes your dreamy sigh, high pitched and needy ā earning you a choked groan from your lover. āi canāt do it on my own, not without help.ā
the next time gojo speaks, heās right behind you ā chest pressed to your back, arms either side of your hips and large hands on the bathroom counter, his head practically nestled into the junction between your shoulder and your neck. wisps of snowfall like hair tickle at your bare skin while warm breath causes goosebumps to rise across its surface.Ā
āthen let me fix it for you,ā satoru suggests enticingly ā keeping up this little act, pretending to be raunchy strangers, while your fingers brush against one another and he takes the jewellery from you. you straighten your back, hold your breath and nod cautiously as he brings it up to your neck from behind. your eyes catch each otherās in the mirror, his darkened with devoir all while he offers you a enthralling, toothy smirk. ārelax, pretty girl. i donāt biteā¦ā
except he does. if satoru is a hunter, a lion, then you are nothing but a sacrificial lamb that serves to be his prey. if he really wanted you, he could take your dainty neck between his vicious jaws and snap it ā you wouldnāt even mindā¦because youād let satoru do anything to you so long as it meant having all his focus be on you.Ā
ālift your chin for me.ā he commands you huskily, nipping at the shell of your ear. āgood girl.ā satoru continues to drawl, extending the āoā sound in his words when you follow his instructions obediently ā tilting your head back so that he can adjust your necklace to sit perfectly in place. āsuch a good girl fāme.āĀ
when his fingers fix the clasp and touch teasingly at the nape of your neck ā you find yourself instinctively pushing back against gojoās lap, the curve of your fleshy ass sweeping over the slight tent beginning to form in his expensive designer slacks. slacks that you know youāre going to destroy before the night meets its end.Ā
āt-there we go,ā gojo doesnāt dare step back after finishing up with your necklace, enjoying the sight of you slightly bent over the counter as you grind your hips back on him painfully slow ā testing the waters. āfuck lilā ladyā¦whatās this all about, hm? tryna thank me for doinā such a good job, helpinā you out?ā his hands slip over your own as they rest by the sink, lacing your fingers together while satoru puts some weight on you ā looming over you as he starts to rut forward and meet you in the middle of this raunchy bump and grind. ās-shitā¦keepā¦keep throwinā it back on me like that.ā
āwe donātā¦we donāt have long, satoru. hah, fuck!ā you sigh breathlessly, rocking back and forth on your man eagerly and clenching around nothing when his erection catches on your budding clit. satoruās lips ascend on your neck with careful thought, using their plumpness to shift the strap of your dress to the side and reveal more of you to his greedy, deep blue eyes. theyāre wet on your skin, perhaps heās been licking them in anticipation, hot at the very tip of your cervical spine ā but he canāt leave marks, not unless he wants your brother to see.
satoru trembles behind you, lazily dragging his tongue to the sweet spot just behind your ear ā leaving a shimmering trail of possession across your skin. āi know baby, i know,ā he says almost instantly, delayed by tasting you on his tongue. suddenly, you feel a wetness against your cunt that isnāt your own ā youāre already so wet that the seat of your panties are practically glued to your fonts, but thisā¦ this is satoru. his dick dribbles pathetically with precum, gearing up to fuck. to breed. satoru grows angstier by the second, one hand letting go of yours to manhandle you back onto his stiff hard on, his breath much heavier against you than before. ābut it feels so good doesnāt it? just wanna keepā¦my cockā¦nestled against you like this.āĀ
pride flutters through all four chambers of your heart simply because you know that youāre the only one who can get satoru gojo to act like such a slut. heās so desperate for your pussy it doesnāt even matter how he takes it, just as long as itās his.Ā
only you get to reduce gojo to a needy mess, soft pink fanning across his nose and cheeks as he humps you from behind like a wet, mangy dog in rut. he circles his hips, pushing them forward so that his throbbing length meets your sticky, fat panty clad folds in a constant motion ā his needy moans like music to your ears.Ā
āi wanna fuck you,ā you huff impatiently, using your strength to push gojo away from you just long enough to turn around. he follows your lead, hiking you up to sit on the bathroom counter before you wrap your legs around his tiny waist and squeeze him close. āgonna fuck me, ātoru? or do i have to ā fuckā¦do it myself.ā
now that youāre facing each other, you can see just how wrecked the man is. his eyelids grow heavy, long and lavish white lashes weighed down by mirth. gojo pants, his tongue doused with spit lolled over his bottom lip with a hankering urge to kiss you. ājeez,ā he simpers in awe, impressed with how controlling youāre being this time around ā squeezing your hips to control the flow of you grinding back and forth on him. āat least kiss a guy first.āĀ
grinning, your fingers surge upwards from the counter and into the depths of white rooted hair. you tug gojo down to meet you halfway and before he can even register it ā your lips are roughly slotted together, bruisingly close and your tongue laps tracks into the hot cavern of his mouth. the kiss quickly turns sloppy, needy, spit is easily exchanged between synchronised moving lips while your noses become neighbours and your lungs burn from how desperately they need oxygen.
you donāt want it, you think. you donāt need it, you say to yourself ā hardly pulling away from gojo as you both suck in a much needed breath. youāre back on one another in a heartbeat, drowning in one another while his practised hands traverse up the curves and dips of your body. they settle at your throat, a thumb gently pushing against its centre just to test you. a dark chuckle reverberates in satoruās chest when you whine, back arching up to meet him and your eyes growing misty.
āhowās that for a kiss?ā you whine against his wet mouth, yanking at gojoās roots again. the action earns you a grunt in response ā blissful, low and predatory. his hips jump up too, tucking his swelling cock into the snug pocket of your puffy folds.
āthink i want another,ā he muses out loud, the chocolaty octaves of satoruās voice making you shudder ā liquid gold beginning to gather between your ravaged pussy lips. using his grip on your throat, the silver haired man pulls you closer ā his perfect white teeth sinking into the delicious swell of your bottom lip before he tugs it away from you salaciously. itās barely enough to quell the spark of hunger spreading throughout all four limbs of his body, hardly calming down the blood that rushes to his achingly hard dick as he rubs it against your increasingly soaked mound.
when your lips find each other again, theyāre swollen, cherry red and raw ā smacking against one another loudly over the sound of rustling clothes while you buck into one another. everything is so hot and heavy, youāre so wet and so sticky for satoru and your little rendezvous has barely begun. the way he sucks on your tongue, letās you push it down his throat while his clothed seedy tip nudges your clit over and over again has you bouncing off the walls in your mind. you canāt think without thinking of all the ways to fuck satoru gojo.Ā
heās on your mind all the time and youāre not sure if you want that to change.Ā
ācanā¦oh manācan feel how wet you are through your fuckinā clothesā¦ā satoru hums in astonishment, releasing you from the prison of his lip lock with pretty pink swollen lips, allowing his head to drop to your shoulder in favour for sucking on it to pacify himself. he keeps his tip on your pleasure bud, revelling in the way you keenly pulse at the sensation. āoh fuckā¦so sticky.āĀ Ā
your pussy flutters at his observation, even more so with how cute satoru sounds when heās so needy for you. āsatoruā¦ā you mewl, stroking back tufts of his sweaty pale hair ā though it hardly distracts him from feverishly fucking you over layers of fabric. āwanna suck you off, gojo. can i? wanna have you in my mouth.āĀ
satoru pauses, his breathing uneven and pulls away from his safe spot in your neck. āfuckā¦really? now?āĀ
you nod, tiny hands forcing their way between your heated bodies to toy with his belt, unbuckling it with practised ease. āright now.āĀ
āokayā¦fuck, okay.ā satoru steps back and uses a grip on your hips to help you down onto your feet, watching with pride as you slowly descend to your knees in front of him. āoh baby. youāre so dirty. such a dirty little girl, mmm?ā he grins, a little twisted. āshow me how pretty you look on your knees for me.āĀ
you sit back on your haunches as satoru adjusts himself to lean back on the counter ā looking up at him with sweet shiny eyes which occasionally shoot down to his throbbing hard cock as he manspreads in place. the sight makes your mouth water andĀ
āyouāre staring, baby. go ahead and open your present.ā he tilts his head with an air of condescension about him ā teasing and taunting you through a faux pout, making you simper out for satoru. ācome on now, what happened to my brave little girl? you wanted to suck me off so bad, whereās all that big talk now, huh?ā satoru continues to leer down at you, his eyes darkening malignantly ā the sapphire shine within them dimming with a raging storm cloud as if to block out the sun. āopen that cute little mouth, lemme see it. donāt disappoint.ā he cups your cheek, entire body bristling with joy and underlying pleasure when you keen into satoruās touch like a good girl.
obediently, your lips part and mouth falls open ā revealing ropes of saliva that tie your tongue to the roof of your mouth. it does something to satoru, itās like a power trip to have you on your knees for him. youāve got love in your eyes taking the form of heart-shaped pupils, as you admire him like heās your god. and you want that godās cock stuffed into your waiting, drooling mouth.Ā
you shouldnāt adore satoru, treat him as if heās your lifeline. heās the whole reason your family might fall apart, he keeps you hidden as if youāre a treasure only he is worthy of seeing. he doesnāt show you off, he chooses to use you for his own gain, he chooses you when thereās no one else left to turn to. your relationship with satoru has never been stable, but even now when heās hanging above you ā rosy cheeked and starry eyed about to fuck you in some bathroom, you still want him. you still love him.Ā
ādonāt get lost in that pretty little head of yours baby,ā gojo leans forward and brushes his thumb under the well of your wet lips and over your Cupidās bow ā smudging what's left of your gloss. āām gonna need you to think for a little while. only ābout me ān my cock. yeah?ā his free hand that once had been abandoned on the countertop takes yours ā guiding it over the bulge in his crisp dress pants, hissing when you start to rub at it on your own, your mouth still wide open for him. āyouāre so pretty. feel that? you make me so hard that it hurts.ā
you find yourself dazed and enchanted ā panting, chest heaving as your hunger for him grows. āfeel it, want you, ātoru.ā satoru thinks youāre so cute, cupcake dress poofing up against the cold floor as your tiny hand paws at him back and forth, back and forth and the little smile you give him when he pulsates beneath your talented little fingertips would be nearly enough to make him explode.Ā
āof course you do, baby. you want your reward.ā gojo relents, giving in to you. he swoops down to give you one last kiss, barely ghosting his lips over your swollen ones to keep you on the edge ā craving just a little bit more. he dangles the static pleasure of a kiss that you get over your brain in front of you like a carrot in front of a horse. he knows that if he keeps you that way, youāll stay desperately in love with him, malleable into the perfect girl for him.Ā
itās selfish and both of you know that.
you rub harder and harder at the outline of satoruās shaft and scoot closer to rest your chubby cheek on his firm thigh. he sees the way your own squeeze together from under your dress, probably in an attempt to keep your arousal at bay while your hole slicks itself up ā but he can smell you, sweet and potent like a flower in bloom. if he were to pull you up to his height and take you now, satoru is sure your panties would be soiled, ass cheeks and pussy lips coated in a layer of your opaque, honey-like arousal while it oozes directly from you.
thatās just how you are, a candied little mess for satoru gojo. itās almost a fact and the very notion should be humiliating for you, should be shameful to you. if your brother were to ever find out how weak your resolve is when it comes to satoru, how you fall to your knees so easily for himĀ ā then you might never be able to look him in the eye again.Ā
but isnāt that what you want?Ā
to have suguru know just how badly youād fallen for his best friend?Ā
how you might fail to live without him?Ā
all night all youāve been thinking about is satoru telling your brother the truth ā but here you are, locked in a bathroom ready to worship this man while you hide from your entire family. from reality.Ā
because youāre happiest in this bubble with gojo and youāre sure he is too ā he can have you in all the ways heās ever wanted and youād let him do it all to you too. yet again, you remain entirely unaware that from gojoās point of view, youāre more than a pretty girl about to suck his pretty cock. youāre everything to him.
ācome on baby, stop playinā with me. baby please.ā satoru whines petulantly into the sex tainted air that fizzles with suspense. his skin buzzes with every touch you give and a wicked chuckle resonates deep within his chest when you scoot closer on your knees ā dragging the tip of your tongue over his dick print hesitantly. though the sound is cut short when you give his hard-on a tentative squeeze to text the waters, opaque and runny white smearing against the inside of satoruās underwear.Ā
you adore how much he trembles, gripping your shoulder to steady himself since knows that you donāt like the idea of your head being pushed down on. even if itās torture for him to be so patient ā heād never do anything you didnāt like.Ā
but it really is killing him, and youāre fully aware. he deserves to be punished like this, after everything heās put you through ā it doesnāt mean youāre not suffering yourself. circling your hips into the cold bathroom floor to get some friction yourself, beyond turned on at the sight of a breathless satoru gojo above you.Ā
āsay that again.ā you moan.
gojoās head drops and he lets out a shaky breath as if heās about to cry. āw-what?āĀ
ābeg me again, then iāll suck your cock.ā you sneer up at your silver haired lover evilly just as your mouth meets his sticky clothed cockhead, the spit and heat from your mouth seeping through the layers of fabric in your way. āi wanna hear you moan for me, ātoru. like you love me.ā you press, switching to taking the manās zipper between the rows of your teeth.Ā
satoru gojo has never been a stickler for the rules, whatever he does is usually for his own personal gainā¦but when you command him like that, he canāt help but to blindly stumble after you, hanging onto your every sugar-coated word. āfucking hell, please baby. need to feel your mouth on meā¦fuck, your tongue,ā gojo rambles on weakly. āplease, please, want it so bad i might fucking die.ā he does some of the work for you, shedding his belt and causing itās buckle to clink satisfyingly against your ears.Ā
satoruās eagerness sends a shockwave of pleasure straight to your clit. your patience seems to be wearing thinner than his, for you jump forward like a cat on the prowl and peel back the remaining layers of satoruās clothes without mercy for any of the fabrics. his gasps and muttered pleas coax you into the dark, addictive enigma that is satoru gojo ā clouding your mind whilst setting your body on fire with hell flames.
you kiss at satoruās slender hips the more his pants and boxers come down, twirling your tongue into the tufts of silver hair that form his happy trail too. a soft, honeysuckle chuckle from you resounds in the bathroomās echoing chamber when you finally reveal enough of gojoās cock for it to spring free ā twitching as itās exposed to fresh air. satoru is longer where he might lack thickness, though heās chubby enough to keep you plugged full of his cum usually. his balls are plump and pink, heavy with a load thatās just waiting to be spent on you ā evidence of his arousal taking the form of opaque pearls set at the tip of his dick.
speaking of, gojoās cockhead burns bright red and shines as if itās glossed and sticky like your lips ā blue pulsating veins spiral around his flushed shaft, rivalling the shade of his eyes as he observes your next moves. youāre sure to make your touch tender as you take his entire length between your fingers, smoothing the supple pad of your thumb over his sensitive tip and rubbing the precum into it sweetly.
he smells so good, the musky scent of satoruās cock and his arousal act like the fumes of a drug you know all too well ā it takes over your consciousness and stream of thought, controlling your actions from then on. you feel everything all at once, your tongue writhing in place at the bottom of your mouth, satoruās thighs trembling lightly and his cock throbbing while blood rushes through it. a haughty moan scratches at the ridges in his throat when you finally grip him properly ā soft little hands dwarfed by his sheer length, palm brushing over the flushed forked veins that separate at the base. āj-jesus, beautiful,ā satoru hisses, lips between his sharp white teeth. āyou gotta give a littleā¦drivinā me insane with these little touches. please just suck itā¦please iām begginā youāāĀ
the air in his lungs grows thin like that at the peak of a mountain when you finally give in, dragging your lips over the cream gathering at his mushroomed cockhead before kitten-licking through its seedy slit in order to tease him a little more. opening up your mouth, you prepare to swallow satoru down, just as you have done many times before. you know everything he likes, what makes him tick, what has him cumming in secondsā¦however, just as your warm breath coasts along his shaft ā he pulls back from your hold.Ā
āwait,ā he says through a shudder. āyou wanna smoke?ā satoru pulls a joint from his crumpled pocket, licking his lips as he searches for its partner in crime ā a lighter.
you frown, choosing to palm him instead of taking him into your mouth just yet. his cock jumps at the simple movement, leaking milky white against your knuckles, tainting your skin. āweāll get into trouble, ātoru.ā you state like itās obvious, speaking over the slick sound of your hand gently pumping satoru. your movements are aided by just how wet his cock is, fingers slipping and sliding up and down his girth whilst being guided by the thick globs of precum beading at his tip.
ās-since when did you care about the rules? youāre fucking me here, arenāt you?ā his breathing falters as he shakily attempts to set the end of his joint alight. you donāt dare stop pleasuring your brother's best friend, even if thereās a nagging voice at the back of your head telling you that this is bad, that itās all too much. āhelp me out for a sec, beautiful? hold this in your mouth while i light it.ā satoruās voice drops an octave as he shoves the splif between your arousal glossed lips (replacing the fenty that once spread their shine across them)Ā ā he stares you down through his long, white lashes as he flicks the lighter at the end, setting fire to the rizzler. āthank you, little one.āĀ
the pet name makes your skin crawl and the weed in your mouth only amplifies that voice in your head. you should quit while you still can, you might be able to cope with the withdrawals then, and spend the rest of your life making it up to suguru for leading him astray. little one. the nickname heād so fondly called you quickly becomes something you hate. itās meaning changed easily by none other than satoru gojo.Ā
his power over you is still so strong despite his cock being at the mercy of your feather light grip and plush lips. once you set a steady rhythm to jerking gojo off and the joint burns dangerously close to your nose, he takes it from you and lovingly pats your cheek ā placing it between his own lips before blowing a ring of smoke into the humid air.
satoruās head collapses back against the mirror, his moonshine hair perfectly tousled despite being out of place. his locks stick to the icy surface of the glass, brought on by the cold sweat from your temperate mouth. the pair of you share a harmonious tune of wet whimpers and gargled gripes when you take your lover down your throat, sinking down on him until your nose nudges the prickliness of his happy trail.Ā
you flex your tongue, letting it swirl around satoruās girth from the base to the tip. āo-oh fuck, baby!ā he exclaims through a hybrid sound, a cross mix between a raspy chuckle and high pitched moan. shakily; satoru takes a puff of his joint as if to calm himself down. he looks down at you with a lustful, love laden gaze, dropping a hand to the top of your head ā careful not to push on it as you work your mouth down on him. ādonāt worryā¦ ām not gonna fuck your mouth. know you donāt like that, just wannaā¦touch you.ā it nearly kills him as well, the way you look up, with shiny eyes and full cheeks. āgod, you take it so well, huh?ā
of course, satoru had been the one to teach you how to suck dick back when you first started messing around two years ago. heād coaxed you through it, teaching you step by step so you could get him off just how he liked. he made it so that you wouldnāt ever want to please a man the same way you pleased him ā rewiring all the nerves in your brain to make sure it was only gojo that you wanted to deep throat.Ā
so you nod diligently in reply, swallowing down on gojo and letting out a gentle hum that causes dopamine to crackle along the insides of his skull.Ā hollowing your cheeks, your throat contracts around his thick length until you feel his bulbous tip dragging over your uvula ā testing your own talented mouth. heās so glad that he taught you how to do that, you down on your knees, entrapping him in the searing heat of your hellfire mouth. if suguru could see you now, heād only be able to picture the spawn of the devil and itās cruel how you donāt even care. after everything heās done for you.Ā
your eyes flutter shut at the heaviness of satoruās dick on your tongue, forcing you to taste the viscous precum that oozes down your throat in slow waves. the flavour is just as addictive as the scent of weed tangling with sex in the air ā you donāt see yourself going to rehab either.Ā
eventually, you decide to pull off of satoru with a lewd pop, filling your lungs with the oxygen they so dearly missed. you find yourself light headed for deep-throating him for that long but you also find it to be completely worth it ā especially because of the look of pride satoru gives you. āsuch a pretty little cockslut,ā he sucks his teeth, petting your head and brushing his hand over the square partings of your braids. āyou look so happy sucking on my cock, baby. didnāt think you were gonna come up for air.ā
in place of your mouth, your palm starts to stroke satoru at a steady pace ā slickening up the centre of your hand. heās so big between your hands you can only imagine how heāll feel stretching you out later tonight, causing drool to pool in your mouth like a hot flash flood as you catch your breath. vivid azure eyes flutter at the salacious mix of pain and pleasure when you give satoruās shaft a teasing squeeze, using your other hand to give the same treatment to his plump, sore balls.
somehow, he manages to continue on muttering taunting you. ācause iām the only thing you need, right? who needs air to breathe when you have me feeding my cock into that hot, wet open mouth.ā he drags a thumb over your bottom lip, pulling it down as he looms over you ā breathing a cloud of cannabis smoke into you. shot-gunning you while you continue to jerk him off, it tastes of him and the alcohol in his breath and the weed on his tongue. he looks so good above you like this, hooded eyes and rose tinted cheeks. satoru is the perfect picture of godās work and youād be foolish to pretend that the sight of him didnāt make your cunt throb and a familiar feeling begin to stem in the pit of your stomach. āgood fucking girl.ā
he thrusts shallowly through your closed fist matching his rhythm to the tune in which you flick your wrist. you waste no time in working up a pace fast enough to have your lover melting like putty in your hands ā literally. you miss his cock in your mouth, how heavy it makes your tongue feel and paw at his spit slicked erection like a puppy begging for treats.Ā
āwhen you t-touch me like thatā¦ā satoru drawls, notes of praise layered over his whiny voice makes your own juices gather at the crotch of your panties, makes your head spin but that might just be the weed. āi could fucking cum, baby.ā
sweat beads in large, fat droplets at gojoās hairline, darkening the bright colour of his hair. the liquid soaks through his white shirt too, showcasing how fucked out he truly is. he thrusts again, and again, and again, chasing the high your hand gives his creamy aching cock. āthen let me make you cum,ā you giggle, dropping your head slightly to make out with the sloppy tip of satoruās dick, lapping happily at whatever he gives you. ālet me taste you.āĀ
a dirty laugh rings in the buzzing air and gojo throws the burly arm that holds his joint over his wet face, wiping it clean of all the sweat. in the next moment, he cups the youthful roundness to your pretty face ā calloused fingertips digging into your baby fat cheeks and sun-kissed skin. āthatās cute, but iām not quite done with you yet, gorgeous.ā still hunched over you, gojo finds the milky trail his cock has left over the seam of your lips and kisses you ā dangerously slow. he simpers at the taste of himself on your lips, tangling with the plastic-like taste from the remainders of your gloss. he licks the sweat from your Cupidās bow as well.Ā
he sucks the precum from your tongue and licks harsh stripes into your mouth ā reaching further back to cup the back of your head, keeping you pressed against him. the both of you moan like idiots into one anotherās mouths, drinking down the song of blissful laments and greedy gripes. the kiss seems to last forever, going on and on until you wince at the slight burn of satoruās joint against your cheek, but you never stop jerking him off ā slick and dewy sounds of skin meeting skin providing the adlibs to your nasty, sex song.Ā
only then does satoru let you go, though, his hips continue to dart forward and ram into your closed fist ā they contradict with his words. while gojo wants so much more, they chase his innate desire to cum. paint your pretty face or your talented tongue. their rhythm is assaulting and aberrant.Ā
ābut youāre so closeā¦ā you tempt him with your silky voice, dipping your head and bobbing it once more to encompass his lengthy girth into your heated mouth again. dopamine sparks like explosions across the synapses in his brain when he witnesses your cheek bulge from the force of taking his tip in, his slit rubbing deliciously against the soft epithelium there. gojo doesnāt know how heāll survive after tonight, when you force him to confess to your family and everything blows up in his face.Ā
oh how heāll miss your cute little mouth sucking down his cock like your life depends on it.
āyouāre right, shitā¦youāre right, princess,ā satoru pants avidly, taking another drag of the joint nestled between his shaky fingers ā he throws his head back as the grey smoke hits the fresh hair, tainting it with the scents and flavours from the kiss heād given to your sinful mouth. āi think i mightā¦ohhhh ohhh. i really wannaāā he throws his head back and you can tell that your lover is really trying to stave off his orgasm to make this last forever.Ā
you still in surprise when he jams a boot between your soaked thighs from underneath your dress. āātoru!ā comes your little gasp, grinding down on the cold leather if his shoe instinctively. he used the toe of his chelsea boot to pull back the hood of your clit, pressing down on the swollen bud to stimulate you. w-what are you doing?ā
āg-gotta make you cum before i do,ā he offers as a weak explanation all while spreading your puffy pussy lips apart.Ā
you lavishly run your tongue through the opening of satoruās cockhead, moaning at the taste and texture but continuing to hump his foot happily. āsāa bit late for that, baby.ā you say with a sultry voice, low and sexy. āyou can just eat me out afterwards.āĀ
ādo we evenā¦? o-oh, okay. ām thereā¦ i-iām close,ā he trips and stumbles through his words, losing control of his taut hips that batter your poor, dripping fist while you spit down onto him. the frothy mix slides down and catches on the prominent veins spiralling around his dick to the base. which you give a squeeze. ādo we even have time for that?ā gojo asks, struggling to breathe through the smoke from his joint.
āi guess youāll just have to hurry up ān cum for me. be quick, and weāll see.ā you glance up at him, so debauched yet so innocent. like a pretty flower tended to and cared for (by suguru) except you have prickly, threatening thorns.Ā
gojoās release starts to sneak up on him, senses heightened by the recreational drug coursing through the healthy blood in his veins. āy-youāre so bad. h-how the fuck did i get involved with you?ā he laughs loud and menacingly, whilst looking completely and utterly deranged. gojo doesnāt let up on stimulating your pussy, humming around the spliff tucked between his perfect lips when you gush in response to him. dirty, depraved little girl. āgāna cum. gāna cum! let me cum. fuck, where do you want it?āĀ
āi can swallow, satoru. give it to me.ā your mouth and wrist begin to hurt ā but you find it all worth it to have satoru collapse above you, lose to the snap of the thin thread of his sanity. he grabs ahold of his own dick, taking over from you, and smiles brilliantly when you stick out your tongue just for him. it rolls over your pretty lower lip, cherry red from your ministrations and slightly swollen from it all.Ā
one. two. three.Ā
he taps his soiled cockhead against the slobbery palette of your tongue ā feeding you the last stream of his precum right before his big release. you press a hand to gojoās tummy, feeling it fight and contact against your touch. he canāt hold back anymore, everything is too hot and too tight and too much. the roll up of weed between his teeth is gone, his beautiful eyes are hidden away from the world and before either of you know it ā his high is hitting him like a tonne of bricks.Ā
just like that, gojo loses the steady stream of his hips and his orgasm rips through him, warm and viscous seed floods your mouth ā even seeping out at the corner of your bruised lips. it spurts copiously from his ravaged cock, painting your throat a shade of white too.Ā
āh-holy shit!ā satoru cries out loudly, tears springing to his eyes and gathering in his lashes. you donāt stop pumping at his dick until heās done cumming, catching any misfires of his arousal with your tongue. you swallow in satisfaction and take to leaving small kisses against his tummy and hip bones until he stops trembling and returns to earth from the bright, silver moon that blessed his hair.Ā
he quickly abandons his joint.
even though his legs are shaky and he can hardly breathe, static ringing loudly in his ears ā satoru finds the strength within himself to pick you up from the floor and manhandles you against the bathroom door. a streak of excitement courses through you while you set your palms flat on the surface, allowing satoru to squish your left cheek against it too.Ā
youāre barely able to turn your head back to look at him, a shy and coy smile spreading across your lips when you catch a glimpse of the dark expression coasting over satoruās handsome features. āoh? whatās gotten into you?ā
āyou think iām just gonna let you make me cum like that, and iām not gonna get you off?ā he answers your question with a question, growling out the syllables of each word impatiently. āi wish i could just rip this damn dress offāa you. itās such a shame we have to go out there and say hi to your family afterwards.ā using his foot, gojo kicks your ankles apart so that youāre nice and spread open for him ā he inhales nastily while pushing your skirts up to sit at your hips, breathing in the scent of your gooey cunt as it cries for him. cries to be filled up by him. if asked, he could recognise the sweet aroma from your sex like a bloodhound chasing after a target. heās got you committed to memory, he loves you that much.
the tulle of your dress rivals the colour of his eyes even when darkened with debauchery ā it turns him on to know you wear his colour so proudly even in front of suguru. his hands shake as he messes with the fabric and you can just tell heās fighting off the urge to tear it away from your body. if only you had the time. if only you were the only two people in the world.Ā
without suguru, he could love up on you for hours with no issues. without suguru, you could perhaps be together without having to hide. without suguru ā well, you hate yourself for even thinking that way. heās your brotherā¦ and you need him. but clearly not as much as you need satoru to fill you up with something ā tongue, fingers, cock. youād take it all right now. take all of him.Ā
youāre distracted by the feel of your loverās searing lips against your naked shoulders, swooping down to place kisses on them tenderly. theyāre more fluid, softer as satoruās fingertips trickle over your breasts and pinch your pebbling nipples from over the bust of your dress. they cascade down to your waist next and suddenly your dress feels all too tight around your hips. your panties too sticky between your folds. you want them both off, and fast.Ā
ās-satoru,ā you murmur needily, arching your back into his broad chest ā shivering at the roughness of his shirt on your skin. āsatoru, please.ā you add, hissing when his curious fingers delve beneath your skirts to press into the seam of your underwear, getting a feel for your wetness and how ready you are for him.
he shifts his fingers upwards, working them up to massage your clit in warm and rough circles ā distracting you from giving gojo a proper answer so he can play with you a little more. āhmm?ā comes gojoās lazy reply. his head drops to your neck again and his tongue leaves a snails trail of saliva over the path of kisses heās left on your skin āwhatās the matter, baby? what do you need?ā he mumbles in a lower octave right into your ear, tufts of white hair tickle your skin, only causing goosebumps to rise across it in a ripple effect.Ā Ā
pouting, your hips rise enough for him to possibly stick his hands down your panties to touch you properly ā but satoru chooses to be mean, moving up to rub your tummy teasingly. āfor you toā¦ mph, please.āĀ
ācome on now little one. what is it that youāre after?ā he scolds you playfully, toying with the little ribbon on the scalloped edge of your panties. you hate that him teasing you only serves to make you hush and turn you on more, a small trickle of your arousal running down your inner thigh. āuse your words, be my good little girl,ā pinging your waistband against your stomach, satoru adds to the seed of desire growing there ā helping it to grow and nurturing it. āmy fingers? my tongue?āĀ
āt-tongue!ā you squeal at the painful sting, not in pain ā because you like it when gojo hurts you a little bit. itās like a punishment for betraying your older brother.Ā
āthank you for telling me, baby, your wish is my command.ā at first, satoru doesnāt make a move to eat you out ā instead, forces his hand deep into your panties to touch your clit, nice and raw. the silver haired man grins at the way you clench around nothing as he circles your tight little entrance and squirt small dribbles of your juices for him. āfuck, youāre so fucking wet for me, even now. even after sucking my cock and grinding on my shoe. if only suguru could see how nasty you are right now.ā he could, at any moment geto could knock on that door and see you dripping on his best friendās hand. the sentiment shouldnāt make you more aroused, you should make you feel horrified.Ā
but as gojo dips a finger into your greedy little pussy, you realise that youāre just as depraved as him and that in the moment ā you really donāt care.Ā
because all you feel is ecstasy.Ā
pushing back onto the sole finger squirming about against your squishy insides, you decide that youāll deal with geto and the consequences of fucking his best friend later ā rather, choosing to focus on how satoru immediately finds your g-spot because he knows your gummy, rippling walls like the backs of his masterful hands. the same hands and digits that skilfully trace the letters of his name into your pulsating clit.
āmmphā¦ oh fuck. f-fuck you!ā reaching between your soiled thighs and underneath a plethora of tulle, you grip gojoās wrist to keep him in place, locked between your legs with his fingers stuffed in your cunt.
āfuck me, baby?ā he coos to you in a patronising tone. āoh, sweetheart. iām about to fuck you. gonna make you cum so hard. make you see starsā¦no, galaxies.ā satoru pulls his finger out and nudges your sticky thighs apart again just to make sure that he has the space, enough room to cup the entirety of your sopping mound from over the fabric. so hot and filthy and sappy for him. satoru laments in satisfaction, yanking your panties down in one fail swoop and watching with perverted cobalt eyes as strings of your slick tie your honeyed sex to the material.Ā
sniffling, you turn your head back as far as itāll go to stare down your boyfriend with big, wet eyes and a blubbering voice. āplease... i canāt wait anymoreā¦ā you hiccup like a petulant child who had their favourite toy stolen. pleading for something, anything to alleviate the unbearable yearning twisting in your gut.
your lover tsks in response, slowly descending to his knees behind you while his fingers coated in your succulent nectar grasp and knead at your fleshy ass ā streaking it with clear marks. āokay, okayā¦poor baby.ā gojo says airly in an attempt to console you like a mother would her crying infant. āyouāre so needy, pretty girl. if anyone walking by could hear you, theyād think i werenāt fucking you right.ā thatās far from true and the both of you know it, satoru is the only one who could appease you, take care of all your sexual needs ā outside of thatā¦youāre not so sure. youāre then reminded that suguru wouldnāt want satoru taking care of you ever. it makes your stomach flip with a confusing mix of lust and guilt.Ā
āyou want it that bad, donāt ya? you wanna feel good.ā the man purrs from behind you, salacious voice a breathās width away from your cunt while he licks a trail up your inner thigh. the vibrations reverberate through your skin, dancing right up to your swollen, unattended clit. āpromise iāll make you feel so, so good.ā youāre almost embarrassed at how much you throb against gojoās lips when he shoves his face into your pussy from behind, nudging his nose over your pleasure bud in circles until you open up for him like a flower in bloom.Ā
you grind back against him passionately, rubbing your luscious and drenched folds all over his handsome face in an attempt to tame the itch of bliss that spreads through each and every one of your limbs. youāre tempting him but your sweet little whimpers and circling hips hardly coax satoru away from what heās planning. his tongue doesnāt fuck itās way past your quivering entrance like heād said, but instead is replaced by a heavy hand smacking down hard on your pussy.Ā
āsatoru!ā you cry out in an awful mix of delight and shock, sounding a little unhinged. āy-you promised!ā
āyeah, yeah. i knowā¦ couldnāt help it. i just love it when you cry for me.ā juices run down his forearm as if heās bitten into a ripened peach and satoru gets the perfect view of your juicy ass jiggling for him too. he amorously slurps up the trail, leaning forward with an appetite to eat you out for real this time and nestled his tongue between your twitching, titillating folds.Ā
he repeats the process again and again and again, smacking your poor pussy until you really are crying ā chest heaving while you sob from both ends, tears ruining your perfect baby blue eyeshadow for the night. not having gojoās mouth on you is like hell on earth, being spanked until youāre raw is torture too, especially when youāve been holding back an orgasm for at least fifteen minutes. nevertheless, it all feels so fucking heavenly.Ā
you search for a vice, something you can ground yourself with and settle for scraping your nails along the doors. satoru chuckles, tapping your sticky ass lovingly and even going as far as to kiss you there. āalright, iāve had my fun and iām done messing with you baby,ā he hums sweetly, ālean back for me, put it on me baby. let your man eat you out.āĀ
wrapping a strong arm around your middle, gojo pulls you back onto his awaiting, eager mouth. the first thing he does is slot his mouth against the entirety of your soaked slit, moaning loud and tugging at your heartstrings while the vibrations send you spiralling. the very tip of his tongue slips past your entrance with slight resistance from how thick it is, wriggling about in order to search for that special spot that makes you see stars. he press kisses, wet and sloppy, miscalculated, between your swollen folds and slurps up whatever you leak as if youāre drooling valuable liquid gold.Ā
not a drop can be or will be wasted on satoru gojo.Ā
keenly, your hips canter back onto gojoās face ā your plush ass cheeks jiggle with each thrust onto his tongue as though youāre reverse riding his cock. it fills you up just as nice too, warm and slippery against ecstasy inducing pinpoints along the ridges of your sluice walls. he canāt help but whine loudly at every roll of your pussy over his face, you taste so fucking good and heāll drink you in as though youāre a tall glass of water. between sucks and slurps, your lover kitten licks at your core animalistically ā lascivious sounds from between your thighs topping off the air in the bathroom.
your cute little clit, prominent and hard because of blood rush and itās burning desire, is next on satoruās bucket list. the sharpness of his teeth latch onto it, rolling it between their two sets roughly until youāre clawing at your own throat for air ā trying your hardest not to scream and frighten the poor passers by. youāve become such a mess and it pleases the white haired man, to see you gushing like a fruitful stream straight into his thirsty mouth, down his chin and cheeks ā even over his bobbing adamās apple.
your hands leave a track of sweat as they slip down the door youāre plastered on and your chest rises and falls rapidly while youāre tongue fucked by your boyfriend. thereās no room to breathe or to cope, satoruās tongue pinned to your clit like a moth to candle flame ā drawing rough shapes on your clit before sweeping downwards just beneath your clenching hole to catch what oozes from it before it can hit the ground. oh, if only you could see him, his bright blue eyes just as watery and lovesick as your own and his face pink with a sun-burn type of blush from how hot he is for you.
if you tried hard enough, to listen in over the sounds of your wet pussy being sucked on for dear life as well as satoruās content gripes and laments ā you can just about make out the vehement and delectable noises of him avariciously jerking off his pre-cum flowing cock while he prepares it to fuck you later on.
āy-yeahā¦oh my god, satoru. satoru donāt stop!ā the words feel tacky in your mouth as you try to get them out, communicate to gojo how good he makes you feel. he likes it when youāre vocal with him, and you the same, it makes you both feel heard and happy to know that youāre pleasing your partner. though, itās a little difficult for you, when youāre so dizzy you donāt know whatās up or downĀ and you canāt help but to cream around the base of gojoās tongue while it twists against your lush and gushy inner walls.Ā Ā
briefly, your brotherās best friend pulls away from your cunt ā remaining connected to you by a rope of clear elixir leaked from your tight hole. āwouldnāt dream of it, pretty girl. godā¦ i just wanna fuck you up. make you scream a little moreā¦ā he snarls like a beast, his big hands roughly grabbing your ass as he spreads them ā watching the webs of arousal form while he peels each cheek away from one another. āfucking hellā¦ youāre drenched. but we canāt be too loud, donāt want someone to hear.ā thereās a higher pitched lilt to gojoās sacchariferous mithers as he delves back under your skirts, bobbing his entire head to drag his tongue between your fat pussy folds.Ā
jolting at the sensation, which provides a welcome distraction from the fact that your familyā¦your brother, are waiting obviously just metres away, your hips begin to chase the high youāve been holding back for what seems like hours now. viciously, you ride satoruās tongue like itās a perfectly plump cock made to plug you full. āuhuh, ohā¦fuck yeah. ride it for me, pretty girl, ride my t-tongue. m-make yourself feel good. fuck my faceā¦please, please, please.ā gojo begs you, even though most of his speech is muffled and youāre the one at his mercy.Ā
shame should be running through you, not hunger for gojo, you shouldnāt want to drive your hips down onto his face so hard that his nose prods your clit over and over again. youāre so dirty, filthy and nasty for doing thisā¦here of all places. but you canāt help the way gojo fucks you nor the way gojo feels. you donāt think you want to give that up for your brother. even if it costs you.
you canāt imagine a life without hearing satoruās needy groans between your legs, the ones that set fireworks off at your tailbone ā where all of that unreleased pleasure builds up.Ā
āyouāre gonna cumā¦ā he sighs dreamily. āwant you to cum for me. let it go, let it all out fāme.ā gojo adds and from then on ā his mouth stays married to your needy cunt, focused on working you right to the edge and pushing you over. he licks you up and down, anchors you to his face with that same arm snaking its way around your waist again ā mostly to hold you up because youāre so shaky from the ecstasy in your veins that you canāt do it on your own.Ā Ā
the whole ordeal is sickening and beautiful all at the same time ā no one knows your body like satoru does. no other man has any idea how to please you in the way that he does. they donāt know that you like it when he flicks his tongue against your sluice and sweet sex with an open mouth just so you can hear him eat you out. they have no idea about how sensitive you are when youāre close, that brushing up against your g-spot with the tip of gojoās tongue is enough to have you spewing a fresh wave of your essence from your pathetic hole.
the delirium and rapture that mounts within you, like bricks stacked in bricks, becomes too much for you to bear ā some of your release already starting to trickle out of you in clear streams. āām cumming, ātoru!ā you warn him in a high pitched squeal before itās too late, white noise filling your ears as you succumb to a powerful orgasm.Ā
satoru gojo thinks that if he died right here, right now, he would be happy ā he wouldnāt even care. what, with the way you gush into his mouth like tidal waves of a wild tsunami, guilt flushed out of your system by tonnes of arousal. you clamp down on his tongue and practically suffocate the man, humping weakly at gojoās face until your entire body is limp and you have absolutely nothing left to give.Ā
once youāve made it through the aftershocks of your high, satoru slowly retreats from between your thighs and makes his way to your body, spinning you around and capturing your lips in a delicately placed kiss before your brain has the sense to wake up. the night should end here, you should push him away and fix yourself up in a good enough state to return to suguru and the rest of your family to enjoy dinnerā¦stop the guilt from bubbling up.Ā
but satoru has always had a way about charming you.Ā
āweāre not finished yetā¦ā he whispers to you passionately, his own hips pinning you to the bathroom door so you can feel his second erection rub against your tummy. āthereās more of you to ruin.ā he continued to lament, his lips stained with your arousal grazing your own before he licks into your mouth so you can taste what he tastes too. automatically, your body bows into his ā ready to have what heās got waiting for you.Ā
perhaps your mind is still lagging, because you feel it before you see it ā the tacky love taps of your loverās cock against your stimulated sex, the lewd squelch that comes from gojoās cockhead poised and ready to jut forward past your fluttering entrance. āi want you so fucking badly, i gottaā¦ need to be inside youā¦ā he moves to hike your thigh up against his slender hips ā preparing to bottom out inside of you, but you stop him just before then with your nails digging into his sweat laden dress shirt.Ā
ācan i ride you?ā you ask him hazily.
āwhat?ā gojo bleats, confused and enamoured all at once.
swallowing thickly, you repeat your words ā leisurely rolling your hips back and forth in a premature pussy job. being sure to rub yourself back and forth against the length of satoru. ācan i ride you?āĀ
āfuck me,ā he sniggers breathlessly and says your name. āarenāt you just full of surprises tonight? you can do whatever you want to me, baby. i can take it.āĀ
with his permission, you undo the last of gojoās buttons and smooth over the expanse of his place flesh, thumb at his budding pink nipples and then, form a necklace around his unmarred throat with your hands. he coughs and splutters in surprise but allows you to walk him backwards until the backs of his knees hit the toilet and he topples onto its seat in a sitting position.Ā
your hand moves swiftly to cup gojoās jaw as you look above him and stand between his thighs that instantly manspread to make room for his pretty little baby between them. one of your perfectly manicured nails drags down his bottom lip, then becomes a finger that delves deep into the heat of his mouth. āyouāreā¦ youāre beautiful,ā he gargles around the digit, staring deep into your soulful brown eyes. āand i adore you.ā Ā itās true. youāre the most perfect thing heās ever seen even if your braids are askew and your dress is ruffled and your makeup is almost entirely gone.Ā
even when you have satoru gojo in a choke hold like this youāre still stunning to him. not one thing could tarnish such rare beauty that you posses. if the end of his life came in this moment, he wouldnāt even mind. he wonders if youāre aware of that fact or still believe the little voice in your mind telling you that heās just using you.
gojo was bad with words, he knows that. he often got timings wrong and said things at the wrong time (like now when he tries to tell you that he loves you but in his own words, hence āadoreā) but he always means them. he can tell that youāre getting in your head right now, standing above him ā trying to decipher if heās telling the truth. if he wanted you, you wished heād say he wanted you. explicitly.Ā
he wished that he could tell you explicitly, but heās so fucked up in the head that he struggles.Ā
so instead, satoru takes your hand in his (the one in his mouth) and moves it far back enough so that he can kiss your knuckles sweetly. a gesture to prove his truth to you. one to prove how much he loves you.Ā
the hard expression on your face softens and you drop to satoruās lap ā straddling him so that his girth presses directly against your juicy cunt like before and your thighs are either side of his. āthen make love to me,ā you goad him, circling your hips and chasing the delicious burn of his dick pressing into you ā a feeling that you miss all the time but can never get used to. ālove me like you mean it.āĀ
itās not long before satoru is at your neck again, leaving a trail of gentle kisses along its plaines. āi can do that. i can give that to you. do you think youāll be able to take it?ā he questions lightly, a large hand splaying across your back ā prepared to guide your movements.
āy-yeahā¦ ām ready.ā you exhale carefully, your mind pleasantly fuzzy as gojo grabs onto your ass and encourages you to raise your hips for him. the other hand now holds onto his dripping dick to position it at your entrance ā he runs it through your soaked folds a couple times and dips in and out of your hole. you make such a cute little noise when satoru starts to push into you, sucking him in so well and clenching around the circumference of his bulbous tip as if to trap him inside before youāve managed to sink down on him. it continues like that for a little while, satoru holding you up by your ass or your thighs while he patiently waits for you to take him the rest of the way.Ā
he fucks you gently with the tip at first, getting you used to the delicious stretch to your pussy ā despite the resistance he meets from how tight you are.
āthere you go babyā¦you can take over now. sink down on me when youāre able to, kay?ā satoru peppers your face in amusement while he watches you try to stabilise your breathing. thereās a long way to go and youāre still so sensitive from your last orgasm. āhm, youāre so fuckinā cute.ā he muses, nipping at your cheek without any real bite.
ās-shut up,ā you state through a pout, controlling your tears which only make your love snort affectionately. crescent moons from your nails take their shape in satoruās milky shoulders, leaving pink indents in place as you slide further down his cock, taking inch by inch until youāre comfortably nestled at his balls. āsatoruā¦whyās there so much of you?ā in reality, youāre not actually complainingĀ ā content with your ribbed walls kissing the prominent veins on his shaft. you clench around him experimentally, sending a ripple of desire through the man at your mercy and finally let him bottom out inside of you as your juices run down him.Ā
he does nothing but smile lazily up at you, taking your wrists and coordinating them to rest on his chest for you to use as more comfortable leverage. as much as you like the way heās pressed up against your insides ā you find the strength to peel your hips away from satoruās clothed thighs and thrust back down with a resounding, wet slap that echoes throughout the restaurant bathroom.Ā
it should be criminal, maybe even illegal, how warm, tight and wet you are ā as if youāre a virgin whoās never been fucked before. he splutters and stammers as his overstimulated cockhead nudges against your silken walls and they quiver around him feverishly. he could charge you with a life sentence, keeping him jailed in your pretty pussy for life. āi know i said iād let you ride me but god,ā he whispers, trailing his fingers up the front of your dress. just as ice cold and ringed fingers circle your areolas from over the fabric, satoru thrusts up into you ā driven insane by lust and desire, his eyes disappear onto the dark night of his skull. ācant help itā¦ i wanna make you feel good. wanna fuck you.āĀ
thereās no time for you to respond, no chance to wrack your brain for a witty comeback because youāre too busy focusing on trying to keep yourself seated in gojoās lap. your eyes become misty and satoruās voice becomes murky, breaths of exertion coasting over your lips and your skin as he sets a constant, almost bullying, pace to his slender hips as they barrage into your sex. itās hard enough to pull squelching sounds from your messy pussy, and enough for the sound of his breederās balls to reverberate between your working bodies.
in this position, satoru is able to hit deep ā churn your gummy insides up and hit every pleasure spot your tiny fingers canāt reach. youāre a slumped and helpless mess in his lap, pathetic, since you were the one who wanted to be on top in the first place. but neither of you mind it, satoru likes being able to take care of you like this, watch every contortion of your angelic face and twitch of your lips and flutter of your lashes as he pounds into you from below.Ā
āthatās itā¦ thatās it pretty girl,ā he coos to you so softly, glancing up at you with massive silvery-blue eyes holding pure fixation for you. āyou want it so bad, letting me have you like this. i love it, i love yoāā he cuts himself off with a deep growl and reaches around the meat at your waist, your soft tummy as well as your plentiful skirts to graze your clit as arousal pearls over it ā each brush at the swelling nub is calculated and catered exactly how you like, especially after falling into sheets with him so many times over the last two years. his touch treads softly on your body while he takes it slow, passionately ruining your insides.Ā
you hiccup and a light sparks behind the sapphire frame of your loverās eyes. he repeats the action, only this time pinching your clit before he carefully pulls you close and angles his hips into your g-spot a little more ā worshipping your body like a queen on her throne. ālisten to that baby, your pussy sounds so pretty taking all of me.ā gojo punctuates his words with deep, purposeful movements that have his achingly hot cock repeatedly jamming against that one particular spot. āyou need it like this, need me to always take the lead, hm? you act like youāre such a big girl, but really youāre just my needy little one.āĀ
satoru feeds you a mix of praise and light condescending remarks, keeping you under his spell just like always has. as if he were a pied piper using his darling moans to draw you in. he keeps you pacified like a baby with languid thrusts and sloppy kisses all over ā barely giving you a moment to think independently. the hand wrapped around your waist keeps you anchored to gojo, teaching you dance in a sensual sticky grind that only lovers know how to do.
dropping your forehead to rest against his, you let out a blissful whimper. āsānot fair, you alwaysā¦ ah f-fuck! you always take control from me,ā youāre supposed to be the one using satoru. using him to take your mind off of suguru while you remind the man of all the reasons he should love you openly and publicly. but, like always, you fall victim to the touch which causes you to blossom above satoru and the candied voice he uses that make sweet nectar pour from your abused little hole.
āitās cause you adore me,ā gojo tells you in a rough voice. states it like itās fact written in a history book for lovers. you canāt and donāt have time to deny him ā managing a weak whine of annoyance when his lips attach to the cliffs of your collar bones. his tongue rolls saliva over the area where he canāt leave a physical mark, knowing that the white hot sensation will stick with you all night ā making it just as good as any other forbidden hickey or stolen love bite. āyou love me, donāt you?āĀ
āg-god yes!ā neither of you have any idea what exactly it is youāre saying yes to ā whether it be the way he pounds at your puffy, swollen mound or saying that you love him, it doesnāt really matter. youāre both too far gone. you finally start to grind down on him again, using all of your strength to push past your overstimulation and match satoruās toe-curling stream of thrusts, syncing up your cantering hips. every stroke of his cock within the depths of your silken, pulsating cunt earns you a muffled whine from him.Ā
a fresh red tint begins to glow under the surface of your loverās pale skin, the blood coursing through his veins and coagulating at his cheeks is dotted with love and lust hormones just like your own. the fact that heās barely able to pull out of your selfish pussy means that thereās a shine to his polyester clad thighs from your juices ā the glisten barely catching under the artificial light in the bathroom.Ā
everything overwhelms you, you feel like youāre drowning. fat beads of precum between your sore thighs begin to form because youāre clenching down on gojo so hard, his cock even fights itās way to pull out of your addictive heat. you canāt let him go, your body wonāt let him go, dragging him into the routine of crazy intense and creamy sex ā bulbous and purpling cockhead consistently digging into your g-spot. everything is so wrong but it feels so right ā it doesnāt make any sense but you feel so nice.Ā
āyannoā¦ā satoru slurs over the heavy weight of saliva spreading through his mouth while he runs it. āām so fucking luckyā¦ to be the only man who gets to see you like this. whining so sweetly, legs all shaky, pussy so fucking wet.ā appreciatively, his cruel cerulean gaze drops to where his milky cock disappears into your fat pussy and his digits move from your clit to spread your netherlips apart, putting the glaze of your essence that coats his rock hard girth on display.Ā
gojo truly is so very lucky, to be the only man with the pleasure of jackhammering into you to his hearts content. heās so lucky that there isnāt anyone else you want aside from him, that all you want his for him to be better for you. he really should work on that. especially if he wants to be the only one who lives and breathes you for the rest of forever. on the contrary, you hate that he only sees your worth to him while fucking you ā it makes bitterness simmer underneath the absolute depraved ecstasy you feel.Ā
but youāre not giving satoru gojo up. not in this lifetime.Ā
taking advantage of your hands planted firmly against gojoās broad chest ā you peel your sweaty thighs away from gojoās trembling ones, his cock being tugged away from the snugness of your oozing, sopping mound. an incredulous gasp lays wet on the seam of the silver haired manās lips. he misses you. he wants you so bad and thereās no greater relief than when you slam back down onto his cock, hips cantering down so fast that he easily hits your womb. the force makes you both drool and you throw yourself forward to capture gojo in a messianic kiss between two lovers.Ā
euphoria chillingly slips into your veins while you rock yourself against gojo feverishly, both of your chests heaving erratically from your love making. āyouā¦you talk too much,ā you mumble into his mouth, tongue rolling over his as if to swipe the words from his tongue. if he says anymore you wonāt last any longer. you lick the salt from his lips, an obsessive glint in your eye ā because satoru gojo is all that you want. ātalk way too muchā¦just love me, just fuck me.āĀ
satoru wants to love you, itās like heās genetically coded to. he canāt imagine being this in love with anyone else aside from you ā but thereās a selfish mental block on his mind that stops him from giving you the commitment you need. right now, in this moment, heāll give you the pieces of himself that he can. heāll make love to you, heāll make you see stars and galaxies, heāll do whatever he can to make you happy right here, right now.Ā
sweat from the exertion of rutting into you pins his silvering locks to his forehead ā it drips down the side of gojoās face which you lovingly lick. your lover wraps both of his arms around your waist and pulls you in so that you nestle on his chest ā giving you the leverage you need to pound yourself on curve of his cock, seeping viscous honey down his shaft. the scene is obscene, but thereās love and adoration buzzing between your tangled limbs.Ā
hearts sprinkle themselves amongst the flecks in your eyes as you look up at gojo and your pupils dilate at the chorus of skin slapping on skin, the pap pap pap of your swollen mound while your lover buries himself deep in your warmth ā pulling unholy sounds from your angelic body. the toilet he sits on creaks beneath the force of your ministrations, threatening to break just like you might on top of your lover.Ā
āiād do anything for you, a-anything you wanted,ā gojo counters, quivering beneath you with his hair sticking to your sweltering skin. itās true, heād rip stars from the sky and skyscrapers to the ground. his heart chases after your every desire. between frenzied bucks and mismatched smooches, the man swipes his fingertips over your pulsating clit ā rubbing fat droplets of creamy precum into your folds and the sensitive nub. the whole time, he keeps you stuffed full of his cock, hardly pulling out each time you lift and drop yourself on his dick.Ā
mewling like a pornstar, your hands shoot upwards and wring themselves in moonlight hair ā a tell tale sign that youāre getting closer and closer to reaching cloud nine. āy-yeah? then make me cum, l-let me make a mess on your cock. please.ā you plead, the back and forth of your cunt over gojoās lap tampering with your system by sending orgasmic shockwaves through you.Ā
āi gotcha, anything for you, beautiful. s-shit!ā using his free hand, gojo grabs at the fat of your ass and pulls you up and down on his girth ā giving him the room to pummel your pussy hard and fast. āyou squeeze me real tight when i act all desperate for you.āĀ
āa-arenāt you? o-oh ātoru, right there!ā you exclaim and ask all at once in one high pitched moan, failing to press for an answer while gojo bullies his way through your walls and right up to your womb. your clit smears over his hipbone, painting him with tube dulcet juices.Ā
gojo builds up momentum inside of you, dragging his seedy tip along your ravaged walls from how deep heās able to get inside of you. āi amā¦ only god knows that i am. fuck, i wanna be yours, want this to last forever,ā white starts to froth at the base of his dick, streaking all over your soiled folds as your cunt squirts copious amounts of essence each time his balls clap against you. āthink iām gonna fuckinā cum, might be inside.āĀ
āsatoru pleaseā¦ā your hips stutter above his, choking out gojoās cock for fear life in an attempt to get him to fill you up to the brim with his seed. you tear up and he barely lets you off his twitching erection.Ā
āi know baby, i fucking know ā iām right there with you. hold onto me. my fucking baby.ā with the last of his energy, satoru assaults your pussy with a barrage of desperate thrusts, jerking you about in his lap. thatās all either of you need before youāre thrown over the edge, rendering you limp, cum soaked messes in one anotherās arms. the ropes in your lower tummy, that have been burning this entire time, finally begins to unravel.
the world around you blurs, your brain fucking lags and you actually fucking squirt. a scream rips through you and burns at the edges of your voice, following through your uncontrollable shakes. clear streams of arousal shoot from your sloppy, dirty cunt and pool in satoruās dress pants ā soaking him to the bone.Ā
āthatās it baby, give it to me. all of it, make a mess ā want it all over me.ā satoru goads hoarsely, losing control of his thrusts until they become uncoordinated and lackadaisical. āa-ah! oh! holy shit, mmm ām cumming baby. f-for youā¦ā the aftershocks of your high and little twitches from your heavenly hole trigger the white haired manās orgasm. right before his release, his hand reaches up from toying with your sex to grab at your sapphire pendant ā using the chain to yank you up into a sensual lip lock that seals his fate, practically pulling it off of you while you make out through his high.
hot, sticky and thick ropes of white seed spill into you ā thereās even so much of it that it overflows from your tiny entrance and oozes against your raw mound. youāre still cumming, forcing satoru out of you while he continues to flood your womb ā what doesnāt make it is left to smear over your thighs and poofy dress, glazing you in viscous cum.Ā
still releasing in spurts, satoru carefully pulls out of you and leans back against the cool tile of the bathroom wall so that you slump against his chest ā relaxed. warm content simmers in the air between your maze of limbs and you leak against one another sweetly.Ā
āso much for fixing your necklace,ā satoru jests over the static itching at your brain while you come down from your earth-shattering high.
you offer him up a dopey smile, all of the tension from earlier on in the night melting away when you look at him. āweāll have to hide it from suguru, so he doesnāt notice. weāve been gone for a while too.ā no matter what gojo puts you through, itās always worth it for the way he makes you feel after sex.Ā
warm, cherished and cared for.Ā
just like suguru would want you to be.Ā
āwell, whose fault is that, little one?ā a chaste kiss is pressed against your hairline as satoru helps you to sit up in his lap ā drawing back slightly to give you a once over and mirroring the way you grin at him with a toothy smirk. ālittle miss āwe donāt have time.ā ā iāll have to fix your make up, canāt have you walking back out there like iāve just rocked your shit.āĀ
despite his crude words, satoruās gesture makes your chest bristle with happiness. āyouāre an idiot, satoru gojo.āĀ
āan idiot that you adore. an idiot who you like way too much,āĀ he fires back childishly. ācāmere, let me get rid of the mess i made of you.āĀ
you do, like him too much, a little too much for your own good.Ā
itās twisted, the mere fact that satoru has such a hold on your heart that you canāt seem to escape no matter how hard you tryā and it only worsens when heās good to you like this. so good with the way he helps you clean up, tends to your ruffled dress, redoes your smudged makeup and jokes with you while he dries his sex stained pants under the hand drier before you go back out to meet your family.Ā
youāre a love sick fool when it comes to him.Ā
and you have no idea how much thatās going to change.Ā
suguru geto was not an idiot.Ā
his numerous academic accolades are enough evidence of that. in highschol he graduated with a GPA of 4.0% which only escalated by the time he got to college ā which was like a breeze to him.Ā by the time heād finished his four year degree, there was an industry opportunity waiting for geto on the other side of all of his hard work and efforts.Ā
it pleased him to know that people thought highly of his skills, appreciated the knit and grit and blood, sweat and tears he put into his work. he had a passion for seeking the truth, discovering the reasons and meanings for peopleās actions ā it was suguruās calling. thatās why he became a criminal defence lawyer.Ā
why do people do what they do? why do people lie? why do people run and hide?Ā
with all of suguru getoās smarts and analytical skills ā his ability it to think critically, you would think heād have it all figured out by now.Ā
suguru geto was not stupid.
so why is it that he canāt figure out whatās wrong with you? why youāve been so skittish and why this entire night? he knows you, his baby sister, like you were his own flesh and blood. like you were the back of his slightly calloused and hard working hand. you may have been adopted, you may not share the same DNA but suguru has lived with you and been raised with you long enough to know how your genetic code reacts to certain pressures and scenarios and situations.
youāre his little sister for christās sake.Ā
as you make your way back to your familyās designated table, weaving between pedigree bred children and their families, waiters and waitresses working tired on their feet ā he notices how the tension youād been experiencing the whole night has suddenly dissipated from your body as if it were never there. your shoulders have dropped, your movements flow as loosely as your baby blue cupcake dress does, your eyes are bright and full of an energy suguru has only seen once in someone else.Ā
another soul heās grown up with.Ā
the very idea makes him feel ill, the food on his plate suddenly becoming unappealing and bitter against the insides of his mouth. youāre notā¦ you would neverā¦Ā
āhi,ā you greet the table tentatively, the corners of your cocoa painted lips quirking up into a small smile. ādid i miss anything?āĀ
suguru forgoes answering you to ask his own question. āwhere have you been?āĀ
the chatter at your table dies down only just as your parents register your presence with the group once more ā joining in on your conversation with your brother like a car merging lanes.Ā
āoh! i was just in the bathroomā¦ you know, girl stuff. powdering my nose.ā you offer up as an excuse, twirling the end of your curled braids between your gentle fingers. a habit your brother knows youāve picked up when youāre shy, yet, content. āyou know how it goes.āĀ
his dark eyes sweep over your face. suguru doesnāt know much about make-up, just that you like doing it. he had been the one to get you your first eyeshadow palette in your teen years but thatās as far as he goes. everything seems to be in place, perfect, youāre beautiful as you always have been.
but thereās a slight smudge to your lip combo that bleeds just past the curve of your cupidās bow ā out of place enough for geto to notice. the colour is different too. black instead of brown, as if youāve mixed up the lipsticks in a rush.
suguru tries not to dwell. he really does. dropping the topic and retreating to his dinner plate while you idly chat to your parents about your new job but something in his gut stirs ā he remembers something.Ā
gojo is nowhere to be seen and your pendent is missing.
you canāt. youād neverā¦
as if on cue, the moonlight man returns to the party, loudly pulling out his seat and taking his place next to you once again. gojoās hair is a mess, much messier than it was beforeā¦ as if someone had roughed it up with desperate fingers. your chocolaty lip colour is smeared along his neck in deconstructed lip prints as if heād tried to wash them away, dotted along the collar of his crisp white shirt too. the contrast of the colours make it blatantly obvious whatās been going on too. the silver chain of your necklace hangs freely from his pocket.
ādid i miss anything?ā he asks casually, despite how not-put-together he looks ā much less in comparison to you, whoād returned to dinner first.Ā
it makes getoās skin itch and crawl, the similarity between your words and gojoās. he canāt even think to reply, yet the words come tumbling out before he can stop them.
āwouldnāt you like to know,ā suguru snaps callously. āwhere have you been?ā
āwanted to see if the little miss made it back to the table alright.ā gojo lies smoothly, resting a large hand on your shoulder. geto notes the way he strokes your neck with his thumb. āyou know how she is, clueless without suguru, right?āĀ
your parents and gojo burst out into charmed laughter, adding to the bustle and ambience of the restaurant. suguruās face only sours as your father chimeās in next. āthis one probably raised her better than i did. he was so excited to have a little sister, wouldnāt go anywhere without her.ā itās the alcohol that causes your father to blurt out the embarrassing memory ā itās sweet and cherished, but does nothing to help ease your brotherās boiling fury as heās patted on the back by his dad.
pet like a dog getting a treat.
a reward for taking care of you all these years.
āyeah, raised her to be smart and proper. thatās why sheās a graduate and not mooching off of us anymore.ā geto seethes from your left.
from your right, satoru reaches for his crystal glass for a drink ā only to realise that itās empty. he next reaches for the bottle of moscato ordered for the table, and pours some for himself until it levels out at the rim of his glass. āouch suguru, way to hit a man where it hurts,ā your āboyfriendā whines petulantly, sipping the surface of his drink. āyou know i work for dad now, youād be so proud. still making money, not mooching off of his.āĀ
you fiddle with your cutlery, the silverware awkwardly clattering against your plate while you finish off the steak youād ordered. then, your mother breaks the tension.
ādoes anybody want to order dessert?ā
satoru is quick to jump on her distraction train ā enthusiastically nodding his head with silver locks flying about the place. āoh you know me, ma. i love a sweet lilā thing, got a huge sweet tooth.ā satoru chirps excitedly ā as chipper as can be.
āthat you do dear boy, pick out anything youād like.ā your dad says in turn.
the silver haired stray at your table pretends to ponder before clapping his hands together ā causing both you and geto to jerk at the sound.Ā
ādaifuku!āĀ
āoh, thatās been a recent favourite of our little girlās, hasn't it darling?ā mum gushes proudly. āreminds me so much of her.ā
the anxiety in the back of your mind spikes to an all time high as your dragged into the conversation once more ā suguru hot on your trail, close to uncovering it all. you shrink under the burning gazes of everyone at the table ā your lover, your parents and your brother. satoru, of course, takes amusement in knowing you crave his favourite sweet even when youāre apart. geto is less than impressed.Ā
you nod and gojo lets out a laugh that sets your soul alight and sends a shiver down your spine. āthatās right, our girl is just the sweetest little thing.ā he praises you, resting his cheek on a closed fist, gojoās elbow sitting comfortably on the table while he stares over at you dreamily.
suguru geto was not a fool.
he could see right through the happenings before his very eyes. the way you looked up at satoru, your expression docile and pure, dark eyes glimmering and brimming with so much idolisation and worship for satoru, it was a look suguru had seen many times before. it was a look previously saved only for him ā from little sister to older brother.Ā
you stare up at gojo like he holds all of the worldās secrets, like he could keep you safe from any and all types of harm, like you love him.
āiāll have what heās having,ā geto hears you murmuring airily, but thereās static ringing in his ears and red flashing before his eyes ā heās that pissed off at his sudden realisation.Ā
itās only when his gaze flits to his best friend, his one and only, satoru gojo that the dam breaks and all of suguruās emotions and epiphanies from the night come bursting out in shades of white hot fury. because satoru matches your expression, his blue ocean eyes drown you in love and he looks as though heās won the fucking lottery. hazily and smugly grinning at you while the table discusses desserts.
the final puzzle piece that suguru has been looking for clicks into place.Ā
it all hits him like a truck.
āoh you slick motherfuckerā¦ā suguru growls slowly, his words fighting through their prison of his gritted pearly white teeth. the syllables and their sound contrast heavily with the abrupt way in which your darker haired sibling stands from his chair ā almost sending it flying to the floor as he slams a fist down onto the table. his other hand points accusingly towards your lover, and everyoneās attention falls on him.Ā
āsuguru what are youā?ā
āyou fucked her. didnāt you?ā
expressions of incredulousness morph on the faces of your dinner guests ( yourself included ), shocked by getoās bellowing voice and stone cold glare. not to mention the callousness of his words. he knows. and itās like youāve been doused in a bucket of ice water. he knows what you and satoru have been up to, the smoke has cleared and you can no longer hide from him.Ā
āsuguru geto, mind your manners!ā one of your parents snaps, but you canāt quite place the voice ā every sound in the restaurant blurs into one and your head swims with a dangerous mix of panic and alcohol. he knows. your mind screams, the pink and squishy organ dully thumping against itās calcium cage ā your skull.Ā
āfuck manners,ā he barks, suguruās mouth beginning to froth like a dog rabid with rabies. his face hardens as if itās been set in stone, while a storm clouds getoās previously welcoming eyes. āanswer my question, satoru.ā
innocently, yet with an air of confidence and patronisation, gojo tilts his head to the side like that of a puppy ā his bright white teeth put on display as he smiles slow and softly as if to diffuse the situation with his charm. āi donāt know what youāre talking aboutāā
ābullshit!ā suguru fires back, his wrath beginning to boil over the edge like the restaurantās signature slow cooked stew. he begins to roll up the white sleeves of his dress shirt ā as if heās preparing for a fight. one with his best friend. once the material is snug around the bulge in his bicep, your brother slams his hands down on the table once again, causing heads to turn and cutlery to clatter about the place. āthatās fucking bullshit satoru and you know it. i can see it on you. i can smell it on you.ā
in all your years of living with the geto family, becoming a part of it and finding your sense of belonging with them ā youāve never seen your brother this angry, let alone see such red hot rage directed at someone he cares about. someone you care about too.Ā
āsugu,ā you whimper and stand, trying to direct his attention away from your lover boy. āsuguru itās okay. itās not what it looks likeā!āĀ
another slam of his hands on the table slices through your meek words ā causing you to jump out of your skin.Ā
swirling black eyes hideous with anger and upset switch their attention to you ā tearing you apart underneath their judgemental gaze. suguru has never looked at you like that. heās always been so good to you, never been mad at you without cause or at least let you seen so. that was until today.
āi wasnāt fucking talking to you. sit down and keep quiet. let your big brother handle this.ā geto spits, the pain of his worded venom shooting painfully to your heart ā causing tears to sting at your waterline.Ā
ādonāt fucking talk to her like that.ā satoru keeps his voice low, in a tone youāve only ever heard him use with the guys hitting on you at college. itās dark and threatening, but most of all, protective. protective over you. you never thought it would be thrown at suguru. he stands up too while you sink back down, catching a glimpse of your parentsā worried stares from across the table.
onlookers in the restaurant are no different.Ā
āso, you think you can speak for her now? since when did you two get so close, hm? did you two fuck? did i hit a sore spot, gojo? ā a rich, sarcastic laugh reverberates from getoās vocal chords. the whole scenario isā¦entertaining to him. his best friend, his brother of all people, fucking with his little sister ā knowing how it would make him feel.Ā
thereās a beat of silence across the dinner table, consisting of nothing but death glares and heaving chests.
but then all of a sudden, satoru leans forward with his palms pressed flat against the tableās surface ā a sick smile twisting on his ever-soft and glossy pink lips as he jeers back at the younger male, taunting suguru.Ā
āoh iāve been hitting her spots alright.ā
you feel like youāve been doused in cold once again, the blood that had been flushing to your face, now freezing in your veins. the fact that satoru would reveal intimate details of your love or sex life to the light of day (let alone your older brother) should make you fall ill. yet, in some sick and twisted way it makes butterflies flap their dainty wings in your lower tummy.Ā
because heās admitting it, that he wants to be with you, to suguruās face.Ā
āweāve been closer than you could have ever imagined, suguru. nice and close, she outta have been swallowing me down.ā satoru doubles down, because once he starts running his mouth, he can never stop.Ā
stopping them both now would be futile. but your parents are watching, other guests and staff are watching. itās humiliating. having the two men you care about most go at each other like this. āsatoru!ā you squeal, desperate.
āoh you nasty motherfucker. so you did sleep with my sister.ā geto growls before turning to you, furious. āhow long? and donāt you dare lie to me.āĀ
ās-sugu, please. not here.ā you start with a trembling voice, tears slipping down your cheeks freely while you look between the two men.Ā
āi said how long!āĀ
the way your brother raises his voice at you causes you to flinch back into your shell and for satoru to push his way between you both protectively. he would never let you get hurt, he had promised you that. even if he had done so himself. he wasnāt about to let suguru wound you too.Ā
āyāgot cotton between your ears or something, suguru?ā satoru makes himself tall and intimidating, towering over suguru. it was something that worked with everyone, scared them off from the person that was his and the one that he loved ā you. but suguru wasnāt buying that act. āi said. stop. fucking. talking to her like that.ā each of his menacing words are punctuated by a shove to your brotherās chest, each one taking a swing at your heart. you hate to see them hurting each other, you hate being in the middle of it all. suguru takes it all, as if heās numb from the news, staggering back into another familyās table ā causing their glasses and dishes to collide and clatter about until it stops and gojo grabs at the collar of getoās shirt. āif youāre gonna be mad and yell at someone, be mad at me.āĀ
satoru adjusts his grip on your brother, but his blue eyes beg for him to let it go. for you to all go home and figure this out somewhere else.Ā
suguru just canāt. his mind canāt wrap around the idea that youāve been leaning on someone else this whole time ā using someone else. sleeping with his best friend all this time. itās not in his nature to be violent, geto has been perfect all his life and never veered from the correct path. he would never hit anyone. heās never felt the urge to put his hands on someone, unlike satoru. but in that moment, looking at his best friend and feeling the blood pour from the open wound in his chest.Ā
exasperated by the stab wound to the back, from both you and satoru.
āyouāre right,ā the words taste like acid on suguruās tongue as he grasps at gojoās own collar with his green hand. never in a million years did he picture himself hating someone he loved with his whole heart. it physically pains him to even think about resenting you. it makes his vision shake and bleed with a dark red, he feels so irrevocably angry that he might hurt someone.Ā āitās you i should be pissed with.ā
geto moves without thinking, every fibre of his being reverting back to manās natural instinct as his fist connects harshly with the underside of gojoās chin. the taller of the two stumbles back in shock ā thick and temperate scarlet coating his pearly white teeth from where heās bitten down on his tongue along with the force. satoru barely has time to react not before suguru is on him again; landing another punch square in his face ā accompanied by a sickening crack.
your brother grabs at your lover, shaking him by the lapels of his now bloodied suit and you scream loud enough to lower the temperature of the dining hall and fill it with chills because suguru has always told you to look away from violence. and this time you couldnāt.
you couldnāt bare to look away from those beautiful blue eyes as they took a hit for you.Ā
satoru sways backwards and forwards, clearly stunned at the force behind his best friendās fists. he damn near collapses into the table behind him, causing the onlookers to yelp and cry out at his injured state. heās got a busted lip, bruised cheeks and nose and heās still the most beautiful man youāve ever seen.Ā
āfuck, suguru!ā gojoās voice wobbles, he sounds wounded. both inside and out. āwhat the fuck?ā eventually, he grounds himself, tongue darting out to lick the patch of crimson at the corner of his lip. he swipes his bloody nose on the back of his hand too ā steeling his already hard, azure eyes.Ā
āyou deserved it. pulling this shit with my sister? are you fucking insane? you could have had anyone elseāā suguru cracks his knuckles, shaking them out.Ā
you feel as though youāre in the middle of a battle ā one for your honour. words that leave battle scars are thrown from both gojo and geto on each side, swords of male ego clash at the centre and youāre nothing but a defenceless damsel in distress. what could you possibly do against the both of them? you think to throw yourself in between the two men as gojo stalks his way over to your brother in three scarily short stridesā¦but your mother quickly wraps her arms around your shoulders and hugs you to her chest ā keeping you away from the fight.Ā
your father takes a stance in front of you both ā he would interfere, but heās not as young and as agile as he used to be. heād get his teeth knocked in if he did.Ā
āstop it! p-please! satoru donātā!ā you screech and wail to him over the commotion of the gathering crowds. he ignores your calls, acting on his free will as satoruās throws his own punch ā another scream tears through the chamber of your chest just from witnessing suguruās head snap to the side from its power. āsuguru!ā
āfuck. you, gojo.ā your brother slurs, wiping his own bleeding nose on the sleeve of his white shirt.
āfuck you right back, geto.āĀ
you did this. you caused this. if you had just heeded your brotherās advice, he wouldnāt be losing a friend. you wouldnāt be losing someone you loved. you should have stayed away, you should haveā
āi should have never trusted you!ā comes your brotherās vicious snarl, somehow managing to squirm free of satoruās grip and using the last of his strength to push the silver haired male to the smooth marble.
satoru doesnāt move, just barely managing to protect his head from the fall. heās still bleeding, light headed but powered by his desire to protect you. kill for you. āi know! but we couldnāt help it! it just happened!āĀ
suguru turns to you. ādid he take advantage of you? ever? how long has this been a thing?ā
ān-no! never! s-satoru would never!ā you gulp back a choked sob, hoping to put an end to the madness. stop the shattered glass and the people staring and the punches being thrown. youāre a terrible liar, geto knows that. he can see right through your thinly veiled lies ā satoru isnāt the type to just want someone. it comes with a price, the pieces of your heart worth more than gold to your brother. of courseā¦ at first it had been that way, satoru took what he wanted. but nowadays it feels different. feels like more.Ā
āt-two years. it wasā¦it was all me. i-im the one who said i liked him first. i always have.ā you continue slowly, hoping for the smallest twinkle of mercy in getoās eyes. āplease suguā¦please. thisā¦ this is enough. just leave him alone. iāll never talk to him again justā¦stop.āĀ
throughout your whole speech, tears and all, suguru remains towering over your boyfriend with both of their chests heaving, both of their shirts ripped and bloody. you think, for a moment, he might leave it at that ā suguru will take your hand, lead you out of the restaurant and thatāll be it. satoru will be spared and youāll have sacrificed your feelings for him to save their friendship.Ā
however, the tears that drip down the apples if your cheeks and streak through your makeup arenāt enough. theyāre not enough to provide a barrier to gojoās selfishness ā even at his lowest, quite literally (lying weakly underneath suguru), he still thinks he can have it all. both you and his friend.Ā
āt-that shitās not true. she was a game to me at firstāā he begins to say, causing hurt to flash across your chest and for you to fall to your knees despite being in your motherās unsteady grip.Ā
he doesnāt get to finish for geto takes the opportunity to straddle gojo ā unleashing hit after hit on him like a meteor shower of pain. you donāt think heāll stop until his knuckles are split.
āsuguru! s-stop it!ā you cry.Ā
people scream just like you but donāt interfere. you donāt even care that theyāre staring, you donāt care what they think, all you care about are their well-being.Ā
to your relief, satoru finds an interval ā latching onto his āexā best friendās wrists with the last of his energy, effectively stopping him from landing anymore punches. āc-christ suguru, let me fucking finish,ā satoru gargles on the blood pooling in his perfect, chatty mouth ā using his grasp on suguru to push him into sitting on the floor too. āmaybe if you did, you wouldnāt have missed this part,ā the older of the two, gojo, spits the nasty mix of spit and blood at the youngerās feet ā using a second to regain his breath. he spares a second to look at you, shaking on your knees desperate to touch him and see if heās okay. you donāt know. you still donāt know just how much satoru gojo is willing to sacrifice for you. you have no idea how much he loves you. so he says it. profoundly and loudly.Ā
āā¦ missed the part where i fell in love with her. hard and fast. couldnāt even tell i was falling.ā
geto slumps back on his knees, dropping his bruised and cut up knuckles between them with defeat. your entire body sags in relief, until youāre a mess of crumpled clothes, bones and tears.Ā
heās never told you that before. that he loves you.Ā
āgod, satoruā¦fuck!ā suguru exclaims, clearly exasperated. his rage has simmered to a stop,Ā with only angst and anguish filling the air in his lungs. heās realised now what this means. heāll never look at you or the satoru the same. the two people he loves most on this god forsaken earth. āsheās my little sister!ā
he sounds like heās about to cry.
āi know.āĀ
āyou watched her grow up! we grew up together!ā
āi know.āĀ
āyouāre five years older than her!āĀ
āi know, goddamn it!ā satoru finally breaks the loop, his voice heavy with pain and exhaustion. ābut i love her and i canāt help that. neither of us can.ā
in the moment of silence that passes, where the audience calms down and suguru steps away from a bloody and beaten satoru ā you rush to his side, sliding across the marble floor in your pretty dress to help your lover sit up properly. suguru looks down at you in desolation, his brows creased in the centre of his forehead unhappily. the expression makes you hug gojoās head to your shoulder tightly in your own protective stance ā crimson bleeding across blue fabric like ink in water, forming a hollow shade of purple.
āsheās my little sisterā¦ā geto repeats solemnly, as if heās watching your child-like innocence fade away in real time. heās been looking out for you for so long that heās failed to see what an adult youāve become. it doesnāt make the betrayal hurt any less, though. āsheāsā¦sheās still a kid.ā he adds, swallowing the lump in his throat. āand now youāre fucking her?ā
satoru shakes his head, easing himself from your grip as though to show you that heās strong. strong enough for the both of you. āitās not like that, and sheās not a kid anymore. sheās twenty two, suguru! she doesnāt need you watching over her like some fucking hawk anymore. she can fuck me or whoever the fuck she wants.āĀ
and even though satoru is right ā you hate that they both talk about you as if youāre not even there or autonomous enough to defend yourself.Ā
ābut you know better.ā geto goes on, his own defence becoming weaker and weaker ā disintegrating like paper in water.Ā
āwe both do!ā finally finding your voice, you stand up from your position on the floor cradling satoru and move to stand in front of your brother ā grabbing his hands with pleading doe eyes and tears on your cheeks. āw-weāre both adults who made the mistake of getting involved with each other behind your back. but we donāt have to fight this out like childrenā¦please just give us a chance, sugu. talk to him. talk to me. y-your little sisterā¦ā
geto sags again, he looks tired, but accepts your affection without a trace of doubt or hatred. he thumbs the backs of your hands, dark obsidian eyes gazing into your soul like a galaxy of black holes. your deep chocolatey eyes are met with a stare full of trust and admiration ā something familiar, something that fills you with temporary relief.
you like to think that you know suguru geto.Ā
heās the smartest and most rational man youāve ever met. your brother has always been kind and tender, takes the time to really listen to people and think things through step by step. he never acts on instinct or brashness. those are all things you know about him.Ā
you like to think that your older sibling knows you too.Ā
that he would look at you and see your truth, how much you care for gojo and how you didnāt mean for anyone to get hurt.Ā
clearly, neither of you know each other as well as you once thought.Ā
he sees gojo from over your shoulder, and the same sense of white hot betrayal washes over the dark haired man like an acid bath. he rips his hands away from yours as if heās touched molten lava and youāve scalded the palms of his hands in which he used to love you, care for you and raise you.Ā
a pained sound gargles in your throat as geto pulls away from you ā his own mature, handsome face, equally as distraught. āi canāt,ā he mumbles quietly. ānot right now. iām sorry.ā his warmth is gone before you know it and heās grabbing his belongings from your dinner table, bowing in apology to guests and staff and your parents.Ā
āsuguru!ā you gasp, tears stinging at your eyes once again. āsuguru wait!ā
geto presses his thick, black leather wallet to your motherās chest as he passes your parents, his suit coat half slung over his shoulder. āuse the black card to cover the bill for dinner and pay for the meals of the families whoās tables we destroyed. iāll take care of any damages too ā the owner was a client of mine.ā he tells her softly, kissing her forehead.Ā
āsuguruā your sister!ā
he doesnāt turn back as he pushes his way through the crowd in order to reach the exit. āsheās old enough to look after herself, right?ā
āsuguru please.āĀ
you will yourself to chase after him, every cell in your body screaming at you to move while your heart and mind long for you to stay by satoruās side.Ā
youāre conflicted, you donāt know who to choose.Ā
and maybe itās satoruās selfishness, maybe heās the one to blame for the rift in yours and suguruās relationship ā because when he succumbs to the bleeding and the injuries, and someone aside from you screams for an ambulance, you canāt bring yourself to leave him.Ā
like a bird in a cage, youāre trapped by satoruās love.
or perhaps he was just taking advantage of your weak little heart like always.Ā
being at home is supposed to bring you comfort, thereās nothing like it.Ā
your home is like a safe, full of precious memories locked away with a key that only you possess. if you push through the door youāre met with a gust of nostalgia ā the sounds of childlike laughter as undertones to scolding parental voices. as you drift down the halls thereās works of art made with crayola ink on the walls, and sometimes thereās tears in that one little spot at the top of your stairs.Ā
spices from your favourite home cooked meal burning on the stove top usually waft throughout the place, calming you down and filling you with warmth. you canāt remember a time where the smells and aromatics of your home have failed to bring you back down to earth. they trigger waves of fondness and flashbulb memories of your father teaching you and suguru as siblings how to cook whenever your mother fell ill.
your home not only hosts heartfelt conversations between four people who love each other, but it speaks too. it would creak and groan and squeak with every step you took deeper inside, with each time you ran through it while being chased by your brother.Ā
every single one of these moments, these sounds and scents theyāre all part of a precious network that make up the foundation of your home. plaster made of love and bricks born from happiness, all glued together by layers of forgiveness in the form of concrete. itās a house full of happiness, your home is. made by your parents, suguru and you.Ā
but right now you feel as if the roof of your home has caved in.
youāve been sitting outside of suguruās bedroom for hours now. your pretty dress soaked in blood and your face in your own tears. you can hear him on the other side of the door ā heās talking to someone, no doubt looking for last minute flights or begging for one of his clientās private jets. and youāre terrified because if he leaves like this you might never speak to one another again.Ā
you donāt want that, you canāt have that.Ā Ā
you wonder where he might go ā if itāll be some place you always planned to visit together when you were old enough. a trip abroad was something geto had promised you if you graduated. now here you were. graduated but without your big brother by your side. Paris, London, New York ā all places you were meant to explore with your eldest sibling by your side.Ā
though at this very moment, he was all the way on the other side of a door he had no intention of opening.
itās like the entire world has collapsed and caved in on you ā thereās a hole starting to form in your heart that only suguru can fill and until today, as he begins to pull away from you, you hadnāt realised how much space in your life he had occupied. you leaned heavily on your brother, he shielded you from experiences like this time and time again, and all you could do in return is fuck his best friend.Ā
some grateful little sister you are.
your face burns with a fresh set of tears, hot at the centre and underneath the fat of your eye bags. youāre so dependent on him, you wonder how youāll cope when you move cities and start a real life outside of the shelter your brother had worked so hard to build for you. the very idea makes your insides twist and stomach turn. youāre not even sure if geto will want to keep in touch with you once either of you are gone.
leaning against his door, you paw at your wet face ā hoping and praying that heāll hear you out. that he wonāt leave you, because without suguru you have no one.Ā
waitā¦ thatās not true.
thereās still satoru. if he even wants you after all of this. if you even want him.
why is it that he chose this way to confess his love for you? why is it that he dragged you away from a family dinner to fuck you instead of just being honest? why was satoru so selfish?Ā
he hurt you over and over again ā left mental scars on you and treated them like open wounds, adding salt and citrus and whatever would sting just to make sure you kept on needing him and only him. he hurt you to make sure you loved him back and youāre sure he had no idea. thereās an underlying guilt coursing through the blood in your system ā guilt in letting satoru take all of the blame for falling out with suguru. especially when he defended you against your brotherās switch up and acidic, toxic words. especially when heās posted up in a hospital bed for his battle wounds ā split lip, possible concussion, bruised eye sockets.Ā
your white haired lover had tried to be brave for you when youād left him at the hospital to come home and change. there was terror evident in each dark blue fleck in his baby blue eyes, anxiety wrapping around his heart at the idea of you just leaving him there. he thought you would be leaving him forever.
fuck. gojo was good to you, in so many bad ways. you wished that youād never met him, that youād never fallen for him either.Ā
before your mind is fully able to slip away to your lover boy, the door to suguruās bedroom clicks open softly ā forcing you to scoot away from him so that he has room to step out. neither of you move ā frozen in time like marble statues carved millennia ago. you look a mess and suguru looks like a clean slate. where your dress is blood and snot stained, your makeup smeared and eyes puffy ā your older brother has been washed free of tonightās grime, his cuts are plastered over and his knuckles bandaged. not a single dark, obsidian tendril of his hair is out of place either ā perfectly tied back into his signature bun.
most importantly, thereās not a trace of bitterness on his face ā almost as if the events of tonight never even happened.Ā
as if you never ruined his friendship with gojo or ruined his perception of you ā his little sister.Ā
yet, thereās a glum sort of gleam to his dark eyes, heās tired ā heās been thinking too hard, going through every step over and over again trying to piece together what he missed. why would you hide this from him? you hate how lost suguru looks. that you did this to him too.
he doesnāt want to fight, not with you. not after satoru.
āiām sorry,ā you whisper, shifting to sit on your knees in front of him ā as if youāre about to bow for getoās forgiveness. āi should have neverā¦ i didnāt mean toāā you pick at stray pieces of skin by the bed of your nails, flailing for words as you slip under the surface of your painstaking emotions. āiāmā¦iāmā¦ā
geto crouches down to your height, using one hand to wipe the tears from your big bambi eyes and another to tilt your chin up towards him gently. āsorry.ā he finishes for you, flashing you his classic, loving smile. āitās okayā¦just give me time.āĀ
you nod shortly, your features twitching as you fight back the urge to cry again.Ā
the older male clicks his tongue and shakes his head, the pad of his thumb swiping under your eyes gently. āoh no, none of that, donāt cry for me.ā as always, suguru comforts you and tends to you like a flower in need of nurture. āiām sorry too, little one.āĀ
āa-are you leaving?āĀ
āfor a little while.ā
your face crumples once again. āsuguruāā comes your childish huff as he stands ā but before the elder geto can get very far, you latch onto his wrist in one last clingy attempt.Ā
suguru shakes his head one more time, more vigorously as if heās trying to get rid of his own tears ā knowing that if he lets you continue and beg him to stay, he wonāt have the chance he needs to heal.Ā āi canāt. i need time,ā your brother says firmly, almost as if heās scolding you. āyou canāt expect me to get over it just like that. itās not fair.ā
youāre fully aware of that, selfishly choosing to ignore the fact ā just like satoru would. life isnāt fair, so you suppose this is lifeās own way of punishing you for hurting your brother and causing him grief.Ā
āsugu, please donāt go.āĀ
āgive me a few weeks, a few months even, and iāll come back. i promise.ā he sighs in response, practically begging you at this point. it kills him to leave his younger sibling just as much as it kills you to see him go. however, every time suguru lays his eyes upon you, all he feels is betrayal and loss. all he can see is his best friendās hands ruining you. corrupting you. it almost makes suguru resent you, for taking a bite of an apple from the snake heād warned you about. hating you is the last thing suguru wants. āi can do that for you because youāre my little sister. because i love you and deep down, youāre everything to me. but i just need to get over this first.āĀ
itās because youāre his little sister that heās even able to look at you. if you were anyone else, if you were satoru, dinner would have been it.Ā
āām sorry,ā you whimper for the millionth time, in defeat, weakly allowing suguru to help you onto your feet. every fibre of your being tingles with the need to hug him, soothe him in the ways he would do for you ā though you know better. thatās not what he needs right now. geto needs you to let him go.
āi know,ā geto hums sadly. he tucks your braids behind your ear, thumbing your cheek affectionately āyou should go to bed, itās getting late.āĀ
he presses a lingering kiss into the baby hairs on the crown of your head as he softly grips your arms ā using them to rotate you both until his back is to the door and yours is to the looming hallway.Ā
suguru smiles again, disappearing into his room with a whispered. āgoodnight, little one.āĀ
and with that, heās gone.Ā
you only hope that heāll make good on his promise, forgive you and come back.Ā
because as the saying goes ā if you love someone let them go.Ā
and if they come back to you, then theyāre yours.Ā Ā
after a hot shower, you find yourself taking heed of suguruās advice and retreat back to the confines of your bedroom.Ā
childlike walls covered in ugly green no longer make you laugh or provide you with an uplifting and evocative solace. instead, you feel more cold and alone, desperate to leave this life behind and move on to bigger and better things.Ā
things that suguru had helped you to achieve.
while the scalding hot water had washed away any bloody stains from the night, any tears left on your cheeks ā it did nothing to get rid of the slimy, gross feeling that you couldnāt seem to reach. it spread underneath the surface of your skin like wildfire through a forest, over each crack and crevice in your mind, slipped through the gaps in your rib cage to target your lungs like a respiratory attack. it was the shame, the guilt and the grief for someone youād lost who was still alive. all three emotions plagued you.Ā
once safely behind your own bedroom door, shutting out your feelings about the night (after only half of them had swirled down the drain), you rest against its wooden frame ā watching the droplets that were clinging to your supple skin drop to the ground as if they were the tears you didnāt feel like crying anymore.Ā
the towel around your exhausted frame drops to your ankles as you lethargically search your dresser for your favourite cocoa butter moisturiser. you work in silence, soothing the nightās wounds as you prepare for bed like your bother had said. you slip on a set of pyjamas, tie your braids back with silk scrunchies and just as you hit the lights ā thereās a knock at your window.
you donāt move, waiting to see if itās your imagination or your mind playing tricks on you again.Ā
but then, thereās another dull thud and you whip around from your dresser to meet a pair of clear-sky blue eyes that catch light under the shining moon does enough to illuminate every curve and slope to his dainty features. gojo looks a little compared to when you left him in the hospital ā whatever fluids theyāve given him have helped with the hollow, purple-ish dark circles under his eyes. a few cuts still litter the angelic curve to satoruās face,Ā
clutching the centre of your chest from under your sweatshirt (in an attempt to calm your beating heart) ā you rush towards the source of the noise, tugging the latches of your window open. āsatoru,ā you breathe, your entire body going lax once you realise who it is.
āhey you,ā he grins, holding onto the upper body panel of the window while he waits for your permission to come in. even though your room is dark, painted with tendrils of pitch black, the silvering moon does enough to highlight each cut or slash across his pretty face. āmissed you.āĀ
slowly, you reach out to touch him. a single fingertip slides across gojoās sharp jaw, so sharp that it could cut diamonds, before you angle his head from side to side ā inspecting the injuries that hardly do anything to dampen his beauty.
ācan i come inside?ā gojo asks cautiously. āitās kinda cold out here.āĀ
blinking, you snap out of your reverie and shift backwards on your bed to make space for satoru to come through. he crawls into your room quietly like heās done many times before, sneaking over to see you during your breaks from university, and shuts the window behind him.
the both of you stand still in the dark, hardly able to see each other, hardly able to tell what the other is thinking. satoru wonders if you hate him, if this is it for you and he. should he touch you? would you let him?
and as for you, youāre stuck between a rock and hard place. your body, as always, calls for gojo ā yearns to be near him as if you havenāt seen one another in a millennia. you know that heās right there, you can hear his shallow and ragged breathing (probably from climbing up to your window) just centimetres away. heās done so much to hurt you, ruin youā¦ and yet you canāt seem to resist him or stay away from him when you know that you should.Ā
āi figured youād want this back, thatās why i came.ā gojo mumbles, dangling the chain of your necklace in front of you. you reach out to take it and your boyfriend lets go, but the jewellery hits the ground and you ignore itās metallic clatter.
āsatoru gojoā¦ā you whimper, instead, taking a step forward into the void ā your hands touch on his tiny waist before travelling upwards over his creased button up shirt to settle at the silver haired manās broad shoulders. he groans low at the feeling of your nails raking across them from over the fabric, reaching higher to scratch at his scalp through the baby hairs on his neck. even though satoru remains stiff and hesitant at first, itās an intimate moment, youāre hardly able to see each other while being pressed so close together ā desperate and longing. gojo finally relaxes and grabs the fat at your waist, pulling your hips flush against his own.Ā
you stand on your tiptoes and use your grip on his hair to tug gojo down to your height ā your lips a breathās width away from each other. heās so close that you can feel his breath coast along the seams of your lips.Ā
āwhat have you done to me?ā you finish, whispering.
god, satoru wishes that he knew. he has no idea himself, the kind of power and hold that he has over you. āi donāt fucking know,ā he finds himself saying, meeting you the rest of the way as he leans down to capture your mouth in a messy, searing hot kiss. āi donāt wanna know. just let me kiss you.āĀ
āmhm,ā you all but whine in reply, wrapping your arms around satoruās neck as he feverishly licks into the hot, wet cavern of your mouth. he feeds you his moans, one by one, pouring his apologies and unspoken words past your lips and into your soul. gojo canāt speak with your tongue in his mouth, heās spent all night plagued by thoughts of you ā wondering if heād done the right thing by telling suguru, if he should have kept his mouth shut and his hands off you. if he should have done it properly.
he fucks everything up ā especially the things that he loves. gojo wouldnāt be surprised if you were done with his bullshit now. heād make the most of what youāre willing to give him for the moment.Ā
your lips grow sticky with the layers of spit swapped between you and you can taste him on you. in your mouth, on your tongue. he tastes like cold peppermint and wisps of pink wine. he feels like heaven under your fingers, his hair soft like the feathers of godās favourite angel. you inhale the hint of his aftershave from his clothes, let it drift over your mind as well. heās toxic, bad for your lungs like a vape or the chemicals from something else addictive. perhaps youāre smelling gasoline, the kind that satoru uses to start a fire in your lower belly.Ā
you shouldnāt be doing this, not again, not here, not with suguru across the hall about to leave you. but you canāt help it, satoruās become your everything and you feel that you might not be able to live without him too. āsatoru,ā your arm shoots to wrap around his neck, hardly allowing the man to pull away from you and breathe. your movements are so fast that gojo stumbles and holds you tighter to catch his balance. though it might be because heās afraid youāll disappear. āsatoru, satoru, satoru pleaseā¦ā
youāve no idea what youāre even begging for, just chanting his name between bruising kisses, his tongue sloppily gliding over yours while he fights to pull away from your intoxicating lip locks. ādonāt beg, baby,ā he grunts hot and heavy, dragging a thumb over your swollen lips. āgod, please donāt fuckinā beg. you have no idea what it does to me.āĀ
ābut i need you,ā closing your lips around the tip of his thumb, you suck gently and it causes satoru to grow weak in the knees ā dizzy from the sensation. āand i love youā¦ā
āfuck, iāā gojo swallows thickly, watching you like a hawk as you suck on him salaciously. āiām right hereā¦love you too. now jump for me, baby.ā comes his loving command, pulling the digit from the prison of your hot mouth. if he could, heād take a life sentence to stay between your lips.Ā
following gojoās lead, you leap upwards into his hold ā allowing satoru to grope at your fleshy ass as he hoists you up. a pathetic bleat escapes his saliva laden lips when your thighs wrap securely around his waist, pussy slotting against satoruās crotch while he carries you to sit on your dresser.Ā
after setting you down, satoru places a palm on the mirror above your head, steadying himself as lust and love for you and only you overwhelms him until heās nothing but a shaky mess. a man that could be brought to his knees with just one look from you. his head drops to your neck, breath balmy against the surface of your skin, long white lashes tickling you there too.Ā
he grows enchanted by your steady pulse, pulled in my each of your little whimpers. a mop of silver hair descends upon your flesh, the taste buds on satoruās pink, eager tongue mapping out your taste to commit to memory. he wants to remember your flavour forever ā treating this as if itās the last time heāll ever touch you.Ā
āyouā¦you asked me what it is that iāve done to you. ān i told you that iā¦ fuck, that i didnāt know,ā gojo pants, a rosy blush spreading across the bridge of his nose and cheeks. one ābut i can tell you exactly what it is that you do to me...ā your lover looks down at you like a man drunk or high, facing an addiction he wonāt be able to quit. it does something to you, drags crazed sex hormones from your brain right down to your pulsating clit.Ā
the temperature in the room rises, boiling and bubbling ā the particles in the air teaming with so much desire, buzzing around with an equal amount of kinetic energy. āyouāve ruined me,ā he mumbles wistfully, a man charmed. gojo leaves a wet trail over your pulse point, slowly sinking his teeth into the area. thereās a gentleness to the way that he leaves his mark on you ā panting like a wet dog as he does so. āyou make me want to take care of you. youāve got me so fucked up that i canāt tell whatās up or downā¦.ā he moans into the sweltering ambience of the room.
satoru forces himself against you and you gasp, head hitting the mirror because you can feel how hard he is against the crotch of your night shorts. āi want to be your everything,ā his selfish tendencies seep through into his actions, love bites gojo works against your neck become more prominent and harsher ā as if to get his point across or through your head. he wants you to know how much he wants you. ājust like i know that iām yours.āĀ
itās true. he is.Ā
the very phrase make your hips buck up into his, a wave of slick pooling between your folds as they catch on the print of gojoās dick. āf-fuckā¦ā the tail end of your words end in a lost whine, too turned on by gojoās desperation for you. only you.Ā
āi love you,ā he whispers, voice silky smooth while continuing to ravish your neck and collar bones with shades of deep purple and blue. gojoās large hands sneak down to your waistband to pull your shorts off and on instinct, you do the same ā a nagging craving for more of him taking over you once again. ālike no one before. dunno why i didnāt say it earlier, donāt know why i didnāt wanna show you off.āĀ
satoru tugs your panties to one side, wedging them behind your swollen pussy lips and exposing your quivering mound to the night air. even though the room is dark, he can still see the glisten of your arousal and whines wildly from deep within his chest at the sight ā urging you to yank down his boxers too.Ā
circling your hips up to meet his, the both of you hiss in unison as your leaky, sopping sexes come into contact for the second time that night. it feels right. just having the length of gojoās heavy shaft nestled between your sticky folds ā itās natural, as if youāre made for one another despite fate not wanting you to be together. his tip spurts early traces of precum against your slit in another form of marking, hot and creamy against you while the scent of sex begins to waft through the air.Ā
itāll never matter how much you try to resist satoru, for as long as heās around, youāll fall into this twisted little routine ā a repeat offence of betraying your brother. your nails come up to dig crescent moons into his milky toned and strong arms, gritting your teeth at the pleasure beginning to wash over and drown you. ās-shit babyāā gojo mewls through a pout, finally giving up on biting and sucking at your neck to rest his sweaty forehead against your own. ājust wanna be good to youā¦wanna be enough for you. p-promise iāll give my everything just tābe the one takinā care of you.āĀ
satoru slurs his words but the very promise sounds like a dream for you. itāll be everything youāve ever wanted out of the man, all youāve ever asked for in all these two years of fucking around. to be equals, to be his partner for the world to see. although, a tiny seed of doubt begins to sprout in the back of your mind ā youāre not even sure if itās true, if satoruās just making empty promises to get you like this, to manipulate you into staying after messing everything up with your brother.Ā
could he take care of you like suguru did? could you trust him to do that?Ā
your jaw goes slack as gojo drags his hips back and forth, back and forth, the pretty blue veins wrapped around his cock running over your clit ā stimulating you into a weakened stupor. milky droplets of pre glaze the length of your dripping cunt, satoru rubbing it in the more he grinds into you.Ā
the dance of your bodies is toxic and never ending, the way you rock into each other in perfect harmony causing your dresser to delicately thud against your bedroom walls. ād-do you promise, ātoru?ā you gasp, biting down on your lower lip hard enough to draw blood, as though to stop yourself from crying out loud from the electric current of pleasure he gives you. āy-you have to promise me.āĀ
silvery white brows knit together in the centre of satoruās forehead, making him look pathetic. his hand forces itās way between both of your tight and tangled limbs to grab hold of his bright red an, bulbous cockhead and circle it against your pulsating clit ā dragging it up and down until it grazes your hole.
he damn near chokes on a glob of spit when you unconsciously clench around him ā a loud simper bubbling up on the edge of his pretty pink lips. youāre quick to lean forward, practically slamming a hand over satoruās eager mouth to keep him quiet.Ā
āp-promise me.ā you repeat wetly, panting out the syllables as his dick slots perfectly against your wetness ā both of you move with vigour and hushed whimpers and moans, satoru chasing after your soused sex like a hungry animal. you feel like youāre going fucking insane beneath him, watching as his tie to sanity starts to dissolve into thin air just from the way your pissy drips all over him with treacle-like juices.
no one on this earth could make satoru gojo give this up. give you up. not your parents, not his, not your brother. heād rather die than let another person have you in the way that he does right now, where you rut your hips into his in one fluid motion. even if his heart breaks and his muscles ache ā he canātā¦he wonāt stop giving you his all, wonāt stop making you see fucking stars.Ā
a pressure begins to build just above your pelvis ā brought forth by gojo bullying your pleasure nub with his sopping dick. itās obvious how close youāre getting, your puckered hole gushing all over him and clenching on nothing. but itās not like the man above you is in a better state ā youāve wrecked gojo, sent the man to high heavens and brought him back down to earth all at once. youāve shown satoru that heās worthy of being loved, that heās capable of doing the same. the realisation only adds to the intensity of your sinful movements underneath the watchful eye of the moon.Ā
tears spring to his brilliant blue eyes, another clamorous sob breaking free from your hands over his mouth ā making you clasp him tighter. everything is so intense and emotional, pleasure mounting like bricks for both of you. youāre shaky in one anotherās hold, sticky against each other while your arousals lube everything up and make the whole ordeal wetter. it really does feel like a crescendo, the highest point of an orchestraās song ā where your bodies are the instruments played by one another.Ā
āsatoru,ā you repeat his name, warning him, begging him to focus through the thick fog of love, lust and desire clouding his brain.Ā
āi-iāā gojo chokes down his feelings, slamming his other hand on the dresser behind you to trap you in underneath him ā his hips never let up, however, roughly snapping into yours. āi promise. i promise, baby ā always will, fuckinā swear it.ā he mumbles under his breath against the palm of your hand.Ā
and thatās all either of you need to hear for the dam to break.Ā
gojoās rhythm falters, his hips stuttering as he succumbs to you and he hits his high. he lets out a cry of your name so genuine it pulls at your heart strings and you slip under the surface of ecstasyās ocean ā letting it fill your lungs as you cum too. you screw your eyes shut with the white light that blinds you through your orgasm ā afraid of what may lie on the other side of this world-ending sensation. you donāt want the reality that awaits you. you donāt want to have to wake up from this little dream youāve created with satoru.Ā
speaking of, the white haired man collapses over you in a fit of shakes and shivers ā ropes of his white seed coating your aching mound. thereās so much for it, all caused by and for you. he doesnāt stop rutting into you, even though itās sensitive, but wraps his arms around your head just to comfort you through it. hugging you to him while you both come down.Ā
heās good to you, so good in this moment, but you have no idea if this will translate past tonight.Ā
ācan i fuck you?ā he asks through ragged breathing. ājust a little bit, wonāt be long. just wanna make you feel good again, youāre so pretty when youāre moaning and feeling so fucking good on my cock.āĀ
you wince with overstimulation as satoru starts to rub his shaft against you all over again, working it up to another ripe and pulsating erection just for you. earlier, you had wished the night would last a little longer, so you could love him a little harder and here satoru gojo was ā making all but one of your dreams come true. āh-hurry,ā you whinge into his shoulder, your teeth sinking into the milky flesh as though to keep yourself quiet. ādonāt make me wait.ā
ānever baby, youāre too pretty for me to be patient,ā in one fail swoop, satoru nudges his tip inside of you ā instantly filling you to the brim with sticky, sloppy cock and drawing a needy gasp from you. āyanno, youāre so cute when you take my dick, such a beautiful baby. no one compares to you.āĀ
you know that he might just be running his mouth to fuck you sweet again, telling you all of the things you want to hear ā but you canāt help but want gojo closer and wrap your legs around his waist, using the heels of your feet to push him closer to the point where his cum-covered cockhead is brushing against your womb.
with fluttering eyelashes, your mouth falls into an āoā shape and a silent mewl escapes you ā it doesnāt take long for your partner to fall into the perfect pace, fuelled by his desire to make you both cum again and his need to chase the stinging, delicious pain he gets from chasing overstimulation. ād-did you get tighter baby? youāre fuckinā choking me out here,ā satoru grunts against your sweaty hairline, ramming his hips into your clenching cunt that practically squirts a crude mix of your remaining orgasms. āyou gonna milk me? make me fill you up again?ā
āy-yes! please satoruā¦donāt stop!ā you whine in harmony with his moans as they rise in pitch ā higher and higher until theyāre whistle tone, scratching tigers marks down his muscled back. the touch drives gojo insane, activating something primal in him to the point where you once again have to cover his mouth with wet kisses. if he didnāt love you, then the simple gesture wouldnāt cause him lose his tether to the real world fucking you like this.Ā
if it was only a touch, why did it ruin him?
juices and thick waves of cum that had once coated your throbbing cunt now slosh over your dresser that dully thuds against your bedroom wall ā over and over again the faster gojoās hips pound into yours. the sound of skin on skin overwhelms all of your senses, youāre stimulated beyond belief and youāre crying from multiple placesā¦itās almost too much for your poor ravaged body to handle.Ā
āiāll n-never stopā¦fuuuck baby, as long as iāve got you. ām never stoppināā¦never stoppināā¦ n-neverāā your man chants, crying into your mouth and the hot lustful buzzing hair between you when grab his ass so that he can fuck you deeper. the slit at his cockhead is overloaded with viscous precum, smearing it along your inner and gushing ribbed walls ā claiming your insides for the second time that night.Ā
your hips run from the pleasure that you crave and that satoru gives to you ā cross eyed and panting from above you like a wet dog. thereās no need for him to run from you though, you wonāt let him, not when he needs to be loved by you. someone who cares for satoru gojo despite all of his mistakes.Ā Ā
a creamy ring begins to form at the base of satoruās swelling cock, all white and frothy from where heās been churning your guts up lovingly ā pounding his earlier orgasm inside of you as if to make it stick. your clit grinds against his smooth pelvis, dragging you by the ankle to another world-altering orgasm and his balls slap wetly against the curve of your fleshy ass.Ā
satoru adjusts your body against the dresser so that the curve of your spine rests on the table and heās able to hike your legs over his shoulders so he can bully that one special spot only he can reach. your knees meet your chest, breasts bouncing beneath them from the force of the white haired manās chest. āg-god, youāreā¦youāre fucking me too good,ā you gargle, hands in his sweaty mass of silver hair as you tug gojo implausibly closer. āi wanna cumā¦are you there? c-can i cum, ātoru?ā
pressing his forehead to yours, satoru nods feverishly. āright behind you, baby. where do you want it?ā thereās a fluid roll to your manās hips, his cock dipping in and out of your fluttering entrance so fast and so good that youāre sure youāre about to lose consciousness. āhow about inside? how ābout you lemme leave somethinā with you?ā clear, thick strings tie your clenching pussy to satoruās cum glazed shaft ā glistening under the nightās natural light. you canāt wait for there to be more of him inside you. ātouch your clit for me baby, make yourself cum on my dick.āĀ
you do as your told, fumbling between your salt-licked entangled limbs for the little nub between your swollen folds. immediately pressing down on it, you find yourself tightening around gojo while he grinds harshly against your g-spot and moans breathily against your Cupidās bow since your foreheads are still pressed together.Ā
ās-saā¦satoru! āmā¦iām cumming!ā one look at him, completely destroyed by you, is all it takes to send you flying to cloud nine ā your stomach lurches and your eyes roll back into the dark depths of your skull as you cum one more time for your lover. clear streams of your essence squirt steadily from your cunt, bathing satoru in your orgasm while you succumb to overstimulation.Ā
his tummy and thighs are doused in your precious liquid as you quietly scream his name ā all of these senses serve to trigger his own orgasm. ācāmon, thatās it little one. give it to me, i gotcha. want it all over me,ā gojo smirks against your lips, peppering them with soft kisses while he wrecks and bullies your insides in an attempt to cum himself. āoooh, fuck. i love you, i love you, i love you.ā
just like he promised, satoru gives you another hot load ā failing to stop fucking you through either of your highs. he loses control of his hips, allowing them to languidly and uncoordinatedly rut into you ā pushing his seed further up your silken walls until your cunt is covered in a layer of white. thereās so much of it that white drips his balls and inner thighs, as well as down to your puckered asshole. maybe itās a little crude if him, but satoruās lengthy fingers gather what you leak and smears it against your lips ā kissing you there, sucking your mixed flavours from your eager mouth.
itās only while you calm down from your orgasms that things start to changeā¦drastically.Ā
even as satoru kisses your hairline and whispers praises against it, rocking you back and forth as you twitch with the aftershocks of your orgasm ā the fear comes rushing back.Ā
the post-orgasmic clarity hits.
the tears start flowing once more and you realise that youāre so, so tired of it all.
yellow and artificial light from down the hall seeps through the gap underneath your door, accompanied by footsteps. youāve no doubt that someone in your home is awake, maybe your mum going for her late night glass of water, your dad for the loo or maybe even suguru. for his flight. the light is glaring and illuminates your room ā highlighting the nightās mistake. satoru.Ā
when the footsteps recede and the light dims down, you let out a breath you hadnāt realised you were holding ā your silent tears blooming into quiet hiccups that you have no control over. āh-hey,ā he cups your face, wiping at your eyes just like your brother had done before shutting you out. āhey pretty girl, whatās the matter? did i hurt you? was that too muchā?ā
slicing through gojoās words, you find the strength to speak even if it hurts to reveal the truth. itās like ripping off a bandaid, āhow do i know that you really mean all this? that youāre going to keep your promise, ātoru?ā
āw-what?āĀ
āi canāt do this!ā you snap as loudly as your voice will allow you to. you donāt want to wake anyone else up nor get caught by your brother with your pants down for the man who betrayed his trust. not to mention, nearly getting him to hate you. āyou promised to take care of me. just like suguru would, while we were basically having sex ā how am i supposed to trust that?ā it sounds crazy coming from your mouth, doubting satoru even after the intimate moments that youāve just shared. however, youāve been around this block with him too many times, you know the signs off by heart, youāve memorised the cracks in his resolve as if theyāre those in the pavement. the ones people tell you not to step on to avoid bad luck.Ā
you feel unlucky, you feel played and naive. you saw all the warnings and wilfully ignored them because you liked the way satoru loved before he knew the weight of the word. āhow am i supposed to trust you?ā you add, voice wavering.
satoru canāt seem to find an excuse ā maybe because his brain is too fucked out or maybe because heās shocked that youāre not just blindly trusting him anymore. he always thought things would be easy with you, that this nightmare would be over quickā¦ and youād take him back just like that. perhaps the dinner was your wake up call. āi donātā¦ i donāt know, i justā¦ā he selfishly expects you to believe him. āyou know me. you love me and i love you, canāt that be enough?āĀ
āyouāve never given me enough, satoru! itās only now that youāre realising you want me as more than just yourā¦ your plaything! when iām all you have left and suguru is gone with the wind!ā you want to push him away but satoru is rooted in front of you, his presence sturdy unlike before. āyou say that you love me, and i think i believe itā¦but itās so hard to trust you. to not think that this is just an impulse.āĀ
āiād wanna be with you even if suguru stayed, i always do. it kills me to be away from you!ā satoru fires back, scrambling for somethingā¦anything thatāll make you see just how badly he means it when he says he loves you and wants you. that itās not because heās afraid of being alone. āi fucked this up, with you and with suguru. but iāve known for a long time that iāve wanted you, needed you to be mine and more than just a fling!āĀ
you look away, face twisting with pain. āiā¦i donāt believe that.āĀ
āthen let me prove it,ā the words rush right out of gojoās mouth, faster than his brain can catch up ā his anxiety spiking at the thought of you abandoning what you have together. abandoning him. āmove in with me, come with me. iāll get us a place in the city where your new job is, iāll get my dad to transfer me to a closer branch of Gojo Corpā¦ just let me show you how much i want to make this work ā even if it means losing suguru.āĀ
satoru grabs your chin and tilts your gaze back over to him ā but you canāt even look him in the eye.Ā
instead, your face burns, hot as your vision swims with another wave of tears. āi need your honesty, satoru. no more empty promises, no more false hopes.ā he can see it in you now, how exhausted you are with the game of cat and mouse youāve been playing all this time. you just want to be loved without constraint and satoru comes with so much baggage heāll only weigh you down when you try to fly from the nest. it wouldnāt be fair. āi need you to choose. would you really give it all up for me? your reputation, your lifestyle, your best friend?āĀ
satoruās wants to be selfish, desperately so. itās all heās ever known. taking and taking until his partner at the time is nothing but a husk of the person they once were. the difference this time is that he actually loves you, cares for you and would kill for you. heās already taken so much from your youthful bright eyes.Ā
he would hate to take your spark too.
so satoru gojo decides to weigh up his options.Ā
either lose it all and keep you as his or lose you while the wounds heās inflicted on everyone else heal.Ā
if you love someone, then let them go. if they come back to you, theyāre yours.Ā
āthenā¦ then iām sorry. for not being more honest. youāre right in every sense of the wordā¦i canāt give this up,ā gojo says simply, watching the light and hope in your eyes die out. āi think itās best if we end it here and i let you go.āĀ
so reddit, AITA?Ā
UPDATE - AITA (27M) FOR FUCKING MY BEST FRIEND'S (26M) LITTLE SISTER (22F)? hey reddit. long time no see, i got a lot of attention on this post and undoubtedly you all decided that i was the asshole. iāve done some work on myself and now i see that i was 100% in the wrong. iāll spare you the boring details, because i know thatās not what youāre here for. i didn't want to leave anyone hanging, so hereās a quick update on where the three of us are at, one year later. iāll start by saying ā we broke up. i made the call so now sheās seeing someone else, and itās serious.Ā
in another lifetime, satoru would have chosen to be with you.Ā
heās certain that in another wonderfully weird and wacky universe ā nothing would have stopped you from being that happy couple you wanted to be so badly. suguru might have even accepted your relationship, or maybe he would have died and his final wish would have been for the white haired man to make you happy.Ā
that is something satoru will never know. the idea comforts him whenever heās left alone with his thoughts for a little too long.
however, this isnāt another lifetime. this isnāt a different universe. this is the reality where satoru gojo had broken up with you right after your graduation.Ā
he did it so that he wouldnāt come off as selfish ā so that you had a chance to fix things with his ex best friend (and your brother) before it was too late. it was the least he could do after taking advantage of you, corrupting you against all of suguruās wishes ā but that didnāt make gojo any better of a man nor a knight in shining armour. he was still a shifty guy.Ā
still selfish, though, the decision was made with satoru still in mind.Ā
the night heād broken up with you obviously ended in tears. to you, it was the end of your life ā losing your first love, and you couldnāt even be blamed. you were only twenty two, your reaction was justified. suguru had been right in that sense, you were innocent and your heart needed to be protected, satoru had definitely taken advantage of that.Ā
you were kind enough to let your then ex stay the night ā as long as he was back in the hospital and gone by the morning. satoru never knew what transpired the next day, as you were quick to block him on everything, and you had every right.Ā
he made his choice and his bed, now he had to lie in it too.
geto did leave, gojo knows that much, having seen his best friend take up work at a law firm in the US. geto had since been low contact with him. as did the rest of your family. again, it was for the best ā even if it did hurt and cause gojo to bury himself within his fatherās company, working himself to the bone every day just as a distraction.
through the grapevine of CEOs and higher ups, satoru learns that youāve followed in your brotherās footsteps and made your way over to the land of the free. the magazine you worked for, Heavenly Pact, was getting ready to start an american edition and word had travelled that you were going to be the head of their new office on that side of the pond. gojo was proud, excited for you ā you were excelling in your career all on your own, he was glad that he hadnāt ruined that for you too.
being in the states from time to time, satoru often wondered if there would ever be a time where he ran into you. would you be happy to see him? would you even want to talk? what would he even say?
āiām sorry for fucking you for fun and fumbling the bag ā almost destroying your relationship with your brother when i caught feelingsā wouldnāt exactly fly well with you, he was sure.
it didnāt end up mattering anyways, because when gojo does eventually bump into you during business hours ā he almost doesnāt recognise you. heās in New York for some big, fancy corporate meeting about mergers and acquisitions, whatever his father had put into the file gojo was skim reading on his phone at the last minute, right before making his way up to the conference room.Ā
the elevator taking him there stood about six floors shy of satoruās destination and a young woman enters like a hurricane ā bringing with her a whirlwind of paperwork and notebooks. āi-iām sorry.ā the young woman stutters from behind her pile of belongings, out of breath from seemingly running for the elevator. ācould you press the button for my floor? i would do it myself, butā¦āĀ
thereās a strain in her voice that makes gojo chuckle to himself, reaching past her so that his fingertips brush over the cool and luminous buttons for each floor. āare you going up?āĀ
ādown actuallyā¦ you?āĀ
āup ām afraid, but headed to the top floor. so this elevatorās probably going to head straight down to wherever you need to be afterwards.ā he offers up apologetically. he swears the tonation to her voice sounds familiar, itās soft and sugarcoated notes stirring up a warm feeling in gojoās tummy.
āthatās fine by me, iām running ahead of schedule anyway. floor eleven for me, please.āĀ
gojo does as heās told, pressing the button for the eleventh floor ā he has to reach past the woman in order to do so. his vigilant blue eyes catch a glimpse of the fashion photography stacked in her arms amongst sketches and other designs while the scent of her perfume strikes a dizzying recognition within the white haired man. undertones of vanilla with subtle floral scents make gojoās stomach turn and light bulb memories of those precious two years flash behind tired cerulean eyes.Ā
he knows you, he thinks, all too well.
he says your name under his breath as though heās keeping a secret and you freeze ā no longer sorting through the papers flying about the place. when you look up and your eyes meet, you feel like the world has stopped spinning and that itās just the two of you, frozen in time.
āsatoru,ā you breathe and quite plainly, as if youāre holding back any emotion you feel towards your exā¦but then you smile, and itās so vibrant satoru feels like he might go blind. not a trace of resentment in those big, beautiful brown eyes. āitās been a while.āĀ
youāve changed a lot in only a year. while your face still holds its youthful innocence, except your eyes reflect growth and maturity ā perhaps a little bit of exhaustion from how hard youāve been working on your new job. youāre still as beautiful as the day gojo left you, but perhaps even more so. your lightĀ glows instead of dulls, most likely because youāre free. heās no longer holding you back with a jail sentence of his selfishness. youāve been able to live your life properly, just as someone your age should.Ā
it would be wrong for him to interfere with your newfound happiness.
turning on his heel, satoru faces forward and avoids your gaze ā continually repeating the mantra āsheād be better off without you.ā to stop himself from reaching out and touching you like he so desperately wants to. he misses you, that much is a fact, but that doesnāt mean he no longer craves to be with you, breathe you in, be by our side.
satoru had let you go three-hundred and sixty-five days ago with the hopes of you coming back to him.Ā Ā
maybe this was it.
you donāt take kindly to being ignored, leaning forward with your papers and files tucked securely against your chest in order to garner his attention. satoru adjusts his dress shirt, plays with his cuffs, inspects his surroundings ā anything to avoid you and make a fool out of himself. or worse, mess everything up for you. his therapist had called his previous and past behaviours a self-destructive tornado ā destroying everything in its path without regard.
he couldnāt go back to that.
āgojo, donāt pretend like i donāt exist,ā you pout in annoyance ā reminding your ex all too much of the times you spent together at your dorms. āi see you and you see me. weāre adults, surely you can handle a conversation.ā itās your teasing tone that finally makes gojo cave, sparing you a starry, blue eyed glance.Ā
he canāt help the cocky chuckle that escapes him, almost slipping back into his old and familiar ways with you. āyou wanna talk to me that bad, huh? did you miss me or somethinā?ā itās a condescending and patronising thing to say ā almost as if heās treating you like a child.Ā
that makes you stand up right, heat rising to your cheeks at the familiar feeling ā youāre not mad though. āi see youāre still as full of yourself as ever.āĀ
itās satoruās turn to pout this time, shifting his focus to a corner of the rising elevator . āh-hey! iām working on it!ā youāve never seen him so nervous, not in your entire life of knowing himā¦but you suppose a lot can change in a year. youāre sure heās different, just like you are. āyannoā¦therapy ān stuff. it helps. helped.āĀ
āoh yeah?ā you hum curiously, knowing that heās making reference to your break up, losing suguru. you donāt dare to press further, though. āme too.ā the pair of you fall silent for a moment, sitting with the unaddressed awkwardness, the tension and unresolved feelings. āhowā¦how are you? howās things?āĀ
heās surprised that youāve even asked, let alone want to talk to him after everything heād put you through. itās weird but also clear that youād been working on healing too ā whatās a conversation between two adults then? āgood,ā satoru starts, though heās being far from honest. he misses you. āiāve been working to finally take over dadās company. old manās retiring, so i thought iād play my part and be responsible for once.āĀ
you grin warmly at the news. āit sounds like youāre doing well, toru.ā he nearly jumps at the familiar nickname, choosing not to respond. ānot that you asked, but iām kind of in the same boat? theyāre putting me at a deputy managerās position for my magazineās new branch. iām excited.ā
āiāve heard,ā the words rush from satoruās mouth before he can stop them, feeling sheepish as you raise a brow at him. ānot that iāve been stalking you or anything! you hear things when youāre at the top!āĀ
āyeah, sure.ā you tease, enjoying watching gojo squirm.
a question heās not sure heās allowed to ask sits on the tip of his tongue and satoru pushes it around in his mouth hesitantly. āhowā¦howās suguru?ā
you perk up, tentatively choosing what to say next. āo-ohā¦heās good? weāreā¦our relationship is better now. it took a lot of work, but heās healthy and happy. iā¦ i think he misses you sometimes but, heās still not ready yet.āĀ
gojo nods once and chooses not to press about his ex best friend further. āand how are you?āĀ
ām-me? i thought weād just went over thatāā
your ex turns to face you fully, a pleading look on his face that shocks you out of your casual stance. you can still see how much he adores you and cares for you, as if it never left his nature to want the best for you.Ā
āare you happy?āĀ
he asks the loaded question like itās easy to answer and you do have to think about it. are you happy? youāve been putting in the work to feel like that again, after breaking it off with satoru you were low. almost rock bottom. it was your first ever break up and it hit hard ā not to mention you didnāt have your older brother to fall back on at the time. you knew it was time to stop depending on others, it was time to grow your own spine. you took to therapy, you learned your triggers and icks and red flags. it took time and patience with yourself, but here you were, a year later and a little happier than when you saw satoru last.Ā
āyeah,ā you confirm with a shy nod, taking interest in your feet while you hide your smile. āiām happy. with myself, my work and my partnerāāĀ
partner?Ā
āāyouāre dating someone?ā gojo quips as the elevator dings for the floor just before his.Ā
āahh yes! itās still new butā¦ he makes me happy. yuuta okkotsu, you might have seen him around? i hear his familyās company and yours have done some work together.ā you seem bashful as you talk about yuuta, someone you met through work, someone your age. a sense of pride in being together taking over you. you show him off and boast about him in a way that you wished gojo would have done for you.Ā
the revelation nearly kills satoru ā itās like a bullet to the chest or a knife to his heart. envy bleeds from the open wound, pours down his front and taints his blood stream. it fucking hurts to know that youāve moved on to someone who treats you better than he ever couldā¦but you deserve it. you were so good to him and to the world that it would seem like a crime for you to end up with someone who didnāt love and appreciate you in the ways that they should.Ā
that doesnāt make him feel any better though, it makes him feel as though he might die.Ā
when the elevator reaches the gojoās floorĀ ā he falters in stepping out without saying goodbye or replying to you. he would be doing it to hurt you, and to be spiteful or petty. just like back then.Ā
thereās still so much that he wants to say to you ā so many things he wants to fix but he canāt shake the feeling that this was it. this was closure for the both of you.Ā
as he exits, he whirls around with enough time to spare before the doors close on you, and this chapter of both of your lives ā just catching your bewildered expression. āthank you, for everything,ā gojo calls to you fondly, watching your previous expressions morph into something soft and appreciative. āiā¦i really did love you, and if i could go back and do those two years over again. iād be better, for you. iād love you, properly.āĀ
the doors to the elevator slowly begin to close and satoru steps forward at the same time as you ā it feels like youāre sharing one last goodbye.Ā
āi know,ā you say without a trace of malice, a wistfulness in your voice. āiām thankful to have been with you, because you taught me so much in such little time. iād do it again, if we were better.ā
a sad smile tugs at the cornerās of gojoās pink lips. āin another life?ā
āin another life.ā you confirm, mirroring his smile as the elevator finally seals itself shut ā leaving him with his reflection on itās cool, metal doors.
itās a shame that you only have one life, and that there arenāt any do overs. that way, everyone could live a life without regret ā because gojo has his regrets, where he wishes that he loved you better, harder, moreā¦so that youād come back to him and you would be his.
Ā always.
so redditors and other losers lurking on this thread. thatās my update. i already know a lot of you are going to say that i deserve this ā and i do. but iām happy for her, for both of them and i wish them both all the best. whaddya say, am i still the asshole?Ā
pairing: fem!reader x satoru gojo
tags: smau/partially written; actor/actress!au, fuckboy!gojo, jjk is a live-action show in this au, fluff/angst/humor/eventual smut
length: 1/??
note: AAAAAAAAA im a sucker for fake dating, actor au trope. enjoy besties! <3
[disclaimer: the way the reader is portrayed is just for the reason of style/posing! this is not what the reader looks like (she should look like however youād like her to!) just wanted to clarify!! <3]
PROFILES
ā³ y/n's besties
ā³ gojo's group
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