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business yuri

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Odysseus: I am different, I am no longer the man you married, it's been 20 long years but if you could just fall in love with me again?

Penelope: if you can do something for me

Odysseus: anything

Penelope: move my wedding bed.

Odysseus: I can't, it's made out of a living tree, to move it I would have to destroy it. How can yo-

Penelope: oh, I thought we were asking each other stupid questions?

Odysseus:

Penelope: 'FaLl iN lOvE wItH mE aGaiN' to do that I would have had to stop loving you.

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Happy Valentine's Day from the record holder of 'best long distance relationship'!!

That reunion is gonna be so lit, I can feel it😩😩

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In honor of the Ithaca Saga and Epic the Musical in general🫡🫡

Ody and Penelope have my heart🖤🖤

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I have delivered🫡

Based on my HC from… literally half a day ago blasting 600 strikes on repeat can do wonders apparently

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“Would fall in love with me again if you knew all I’ve done?”

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"I'll become the monster."

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If ur in the epic discord you've seen this dumb thing already but here it is again

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I'd like to share a few pre-odyssey stories from Odysseus's life that I think are fun.

He didn't choose to go to war. He was drafted into the war as a general. He tried to get out of it by pretending he was crazy because he didn't want to leave Telemachus and Penelope. So, when the guys came to his castle, he was out in the field pulling a plow, with the horse behind it like the horse was driving him. And most of the guys were like, "Wow, he's totally crazy!" but the head dude was like, "No, he's tricky. We gotta see if he's actually crazy. Bring out his newborn son!" So they brought Telemachus out, and put him in the path of the plow being like "If the king is actually crazy he'll run over his son!" Odysseus didn't do it, he swerved around Telemachus, and his cover was blown, so he had to go to war.

There was a prophecy that the first soldier who set foot on the beaches of Troy during the attack would die first, so when Odysseus's army were on the boats about to attack, none of them wanted to get off, in fear of dying. Odysseus was like "okay we need to get this show on the road." so he made a big show of talking about how ridiculous prophecies were, while secretly throwing his shield down on the sand. Then he was all "I'll jump down first, to prove that it's silly!" So he jumped off the boat onto his shield, and his army was like "Wow! he landed on the sand first! We've got nothing to worry about now!" So they all jumped off, and sure enough the first dude that landed was the first to die.

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he's so real

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The King has returned

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Can i also point out how freaking funny is that Telemachus went on a "diplomatic" mission, only to return cosplaying as Athena to kill the suitors?

Telemachus: "im going to kill those bastards"

Athena: "no not dressed like that"

Telemachus: "ok better?"

Athena: "yes bitch slay"

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A little reminder that Telemachus JUST got back from his diplomatic mission, found his home destroyed with bodies in the halls, got ATTACKED.

MET HIS FATHER THAT'S BEEN GONE FOR 20 YEARS?? HIS FATHER STARTS SPOUTING OUT THAT THE SUITORS WANTED TO KILL HIM AND VIOLATE HIS MOTHER??

HIS FATHER DECAPITATES A MAN. HIS FATHER DECAPITATES MULTIPLE MEN. HIS FATHER IS BACK :(((

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New Challenge!! Is the man on my dashboard

a) Jesus Christ

b) Odysseus

c) Jayce Talis

d) Jonathan Sims

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Rumour has it, although the King of Ithaca had returned to his shores, his throne remained empty for the better part of a year.