bluebyrd-screaming

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Not all venom fans are monster fuckers 😞 some of us are just aroace disasters who like the idea of a platonic soulmate who likes to murder annoying people for you, is that so bad?

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PATTERN: Great Diving Beetle by JennaWingateDesigns

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Missionary? Sorry, I only do it in the Heretic position. It's a very similar position, except you do it in direct defiance of god. Whichever one you feel like defying. I frequently pick Zeus.

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"You wearing a collar in public is bad cuz I didn't consent" you wearing a bracelet in public is bad cuz I didn't consent to it.

Yall don't really have a right to consent to other peoples clothes.

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ultimately the truth about frankenstein is that we are all grotesque amalgamations of the best and worst parts of everyone who came before us. and sometimes the people who are supposed to love us because of and in spite of this will not. and we can kill them with hammers for that. and i think that’s beautiful

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I will never fucking understand grown ass gay men who are ONLY attracted to really muscular men or ONLY attracted to big dicks or any other unrealistic gay porn stereotype like… you have the sexuality of a 15 year old. How are you at this big age and you haven’t evolved at all. How are you not just turned on by the vast majority of men or am I the broken one

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It is your sworn duty, when you're in your 30's, to do something every day that would have gotten you viciously bullied in high school.

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On the phone at work with the woman born in '37 and she was apologizing for complaining about her pain and I was like oh no worries I got fibro I get it and she was like "oh we're in this together then" and as we were laughing about it she unprompted said "so who are we gonna kill about it" and because this is exactly the energy I wish every customer had i instantly replied "well I can't plan that on a line my bosses can hear" which she got a real kick out of. Anyway go grandma

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I just accidentally made un-tea?????

I made green tea, but I forgot there was an old bag of chai in the kettle, so I mixed chai water with decaf green tea, then I mixed in like a half table spoon or something of that honey from the dollar store that they aren't legally allowed to call honey because there's too much corn syrup in it and some almond milk and a single drop of coffee creamer because we ran out and???? It tastes like??? Nothing????

It has LESS flavor than my tap water! HOW do you EVEN-

I think I made a flavor that's only perceptible to shrimp, that's the only explanation

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quiz: why do lobsters have one claw bigger

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observation: among a certain subset of tumblr users, the term “blorbo” has become unchic, but the concept it describes is still important; and so it has been replaced with “The Character”

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There is still time by @/luvnotee

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Playing the fun game: am I depressed because I'm tired or am I tired because I'm depressed

Because both involved taking care of myself and treating myself kindly but one will actually be solved by sleeping more and the other one won't

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There's something about the Kirby plush in the background that really sells this

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mr migraine. my me a grain

make it the hurtest of my stupid brain

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stoned and autistic at a party trying to make conversation: I find the comparative lifespan of organisms so interesting. Spiders are comparatively long lived animals. Female black widows can live up to 3 years but their male counterparts rarely live four months. Some tarantulas live upwards of 20 years. The longest lived spider was around 43 years old when she was cruelly assassinated by a parasitic wasp. Domestic rats have a lifespan comparable to female black widows. To put things into perspective, there are spiders that remember a pre-pandemic world but it is likely every rat on earth was born post-COVID. There could be a spider out there born when Reagan was in office.