bluejay-mc

[bluejay-mc]

Delusion.

            I’ll steal ‘til you’re 𝕓𝕝𝕚𝕟𝕕                                and 𝘥𝘦𝘧𝘦𝘢𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 from inside your mind.

[bluejay-mc]

RP Tropes

tagged by: I yoinked it like two weeks ago and it's been sitting in my drafts lmao

tagging: YOU!!!!

[bluejay-mc]

Hi hey hello! I’ve got an announcement! I’ve started a Patreon! There, you’ll have access to my WIPs, speedpaints, and drabbles you won’t find anywhere else! I hope you’ll consider pledging!

[bluejay-mc]

"OOPS... I HAVE A CRUSH ON YOU" PROMPTS *  assorted dialogue, adjust as necessary

maybe i've developed feelings.

did you just expect me to keep my distance?

i'm afraid you'll break my heart.

i've had feelings for you all this time.

consider it a crush. just a crush.

i've been meaning to tell you the truth about my feelings.

i can't really help how i feel, now can i?

have you noticed the way i stare at you?

i can't keep lying to myself about my feelings.

it's all right if you don't feel the same.

it's difficult to be around you and not feel this way.

you make it easy to catch feelings.

you showed me kindness when no one else would.

how long have you felt this way about me?

i'm not very good at concealing a crush.

would you consider it a crush, or would you consider it... more?

i knew you had feelings for me.

why did you lie about how you felt?

you make me dizzy just by looking at me.

i can't keep myself together when you're near me.

i didn't think you'd ever feel the same way about me.

it's only a crush. it's harmless. it'll go away.

we're not supposed to feel this way.

from the moment we met, i knew.

you're rather cute, you know.

i can't exactly control my heart!

this isn't some thing i can just turn on and off at whim!

these are feelings! real feelings!

do you feel the same or not?

do i even have a chance with you?

could you ever see me as more than a friend?

do you feel anything when you look at me?

i've had a crush on you ever since i can remember.

i'm not blushing!

that was really sweet of you.

no wonder everyone gets so flustered around you.

i don't blame them for staring. i mean, look at you!

you're a very beautiful person.

anyone would be lucky to have you in their life.

was that kiss too much?

maybe i never should have told you how i feel.

forget i said anything to you at all.

you're not like the others. you're special.

you just made my heart skip a beat.

am i blushing?

you have a tendency to make things more difficult... yet more fun.

i'm at quite a loss for words.

you really don't know your effect on people, do you?

i think of you very fondly.

if it were possible, yes. i'd be with you.

if only we could make this work between us.

i'm afraid to feel more than just an innocent crush.

who told you i had a crush?

you're still trying to make me blush.

i'm really infatuated with you.

[bluejay-mc]

Luz cha cha real smoothing to her and then spins around and does this:

“Um…. Thank you….?” What the fuck.

[bluejay-mc]

Suggest romantic candidates for my muse.

it doesn't have to be definite but lets see some ideas. extra points for a dynamic

[bluejay-mc]

FIIIIINE I GUESS I’LL PLAY SUNNY DAY JACK

[bluejay-mc]

“Everyone will understand because you’re a menace. Also, I’m sure folks won’t be deterred from coming in once they see my broken window.” She wasn’t being entirely serious with her frustration, obviously the window can be fixed with a quick spell. But it’s probably take a day at most to restock the displays he broke…

Asra won’t be happy about that.

“What’re you doing here, anyway? Were you looking for me or something? Again, you literally could’ve just waited.”

❛  ah, but it's better than the alternative, i promise you that.  ❜ a widened smile and irresponsible laughter; he lacks any regret over such a situation, her obvious complaints processed — only to become disregarded, his interest far more piqued on the final few items on the counters ... he might not understand it, she might not want to him to understand it, but still is curiosity piqued. for now at least. ❛  'city famous doctor queuing up outside a store all day'! just how can anyone believe you're open if i'm looting about and not being allowed in? ❜

[bluejay-mc]

resident evil: 4 remake starters

❝ man, that stinks. ❞ ❝ this just keeps getting worse. ❞ ❝ you’re still a kid holding onto fantasies of what’s right and wrong. ❞ ❝ i’m gonna let you in on a little secret. just between us. ❞ ❝ the hell is going on? ❞ ❝ hey, we’re a team, right? ❞ ❝ where’s everyone going? bingo? ❞ ❝ you and me are two sides of the same coin. ❞ ❝ that’s just like you. you always had poor judgement. ❞ ❝ ah, so you aren’t heartless after all. ❞ ❝ like i told you, i’m gonna get you home safe. ❞ ❝ i’m not falling for your mind games. ❞ ❝ you proved you can handle yourself. ❞ ❝ you haven’t changed a damn bit. ❞ ❝ you look like you’ve got something to say. ❞ ❝ gotta fix everything myself. ❞ ❝ you can’t run. you got to keep moving forward. ❞ ❝ you’re nothing but an extra in my script. ❞ ❝ i thought you were gonna die. ❞ ❝ i don’t pay you to ask questions. ❞ ❝ there’s no time for resting. ❞ ❝ revenge? you think i’m doing all this…for revenge? ❞ ❝ i need you to trust me, and do exactly as i say. ❞ ❝ you’re too soft to do what’s necessary. ❞ ❝ i know your potential better than anyone. ❞ ❝ you’ve made it all this way, but you haven’t learned a thing. ❞ ❝ maybe you’ll live to meet me again. ❞ ❝ the most important thing in this world is pure, unadulterated power. ❞ ❝ i’ve something to ask you…but i don’t think i’ll get a straight answer. ❞ ❝ you didn’t answer my question. what’re you after? ❞ ❝ you know, you were always an asshole. ❞ ❝ you have a strange sense of humor. ❞ ❝ you are nothing if not unyielding. ❞ ❝ i just wanna feel good about myself. make amends. or something like that. ❞ ❝ just give me a heads-up before you stab me next time, okay? ❞ ❝ it’s okay to be afraid, you know. ❞ ❝ what do you think? people can change, right? ❞ ❝ not looking good, eh, my friend? ❞ ❝ you try to save one person; a hundred others die. ❞ ❝ was that an act of defiance? against me? ❞ ❝ a well-tuned weapon can make up for a lack of skill. ❞ ❝ i’ll let myself out. ❞ ❝ you won’t get away with this. ❞ ❝ be a shame to live the rest of your life wondering ‘what if’ - am i right? ❞ ❝ you have the stench of battle on you. ❞ ❝ so, tell me, why did you come to this horrible place? ❞ ❝ you wanna help? cause i could use it. ❞ ❝ if i could just forget what happened that night, the pain - even for a second… ❞ ❝ i knew i could count on you. ❞ ❝ i think you’d be pretty dashing in it. ❞ ❝ i’m not used to having such good company. ❞ ❝ hey. it’s dangerous outside. ❞ ❝ god damn…i was almost a pancake. ❞ ❝ a lot of people have gone missing around here. and it’s been like that for a while now. ❞ ❝ sorry. i, uh, screwed up. ❞ ❝ i’m so scared. when that happened…i wasn’t myself any more. ❞ ❝ well done. you’ve proven yourself reliable. ❞ ❝ won’t be going anywhere in this thing. ❞ ❝ sorry, didn’t realize that was yours. ❞ ❝ this time, it can be different. it has to. ❞ ❝ everything will work out just fine. ❞ ❝ you missed. that’s not like you. ❞ ❝ come to my rescue, prince charming! ❞ ❝ sometimes it’s more fun not knowing. ❞ ❝ if you do well, i’ll make it worth your while. ❞ ❝ that hurts, you know. ❞ ❝ this is one hell of a gloomy place. ❞ ❝ why help me, though? what’s in it for you? ❞ ❝ oh, well, maybe just untie me then? ❞ ❝ knowledge is power. remember that. ❞ ❝ i can’t tell if that’s meant to be a compliment. ❞ ❝ i’m sure you’ll do your best to help me. ❞ ❝ bill me for the repairs later. ❞ ❝ it seemed like you really wanted to talk. ❞ ❝ you know, those things will kill you. ❞ ❝ you haven’t changed. you just think you have. ❞ ❝ don’t let the smallfry distract you from the big fish. ❞ ❝ quiet type, eh? ❞ ❝ guess you picked the wrong spot to vacation. ❞ ❝ a most warm welcome to my castle. ❞ ❝ bet you’ve been in spots like this before. ❞ ❝ to think you could be this foolish. ❞ ❝ give me a break already. ❞ ❝ i’m sorry. i wish i could do more to help. ❞ ❝ i don’t want to recall what happened down there. ❞ ❝ years haven’t been kind to us, i suppose. ❞ ❝ finally, some peace and quiet. ❞ ❝ who are you? and what are you doing here? ❞ ❝ i’m just an average guy who happens to be quite the ladies’ man. ❞ ❝ you should really be telling me what a good job i did. ❞ ❝ is this the first time you coughed up blood like this? ❞ ❝ so much for helping me. ❞ ❝ so, who are you working for this time? ❞ ❝ you think i’m gonna give up that easily? ❞ ❝ hey, are you sure you’re good? ❞ ❝ i’m gonna get you home safe. ❞ ❝ i have a plan. but you’re going to have to trust me. ❞ ❝ gimme some space. ❞ ❝ i don’t get you. why risk your life like this? ❞ ❝ it’s a little over-the-top, don’t you think? ❞ ❝ they’re coming! get behind me. ❞ ❝ does that hurt? are you in pain? distressed? ❞ ❝ you are really starting to become a giant pain in my ass. ❞ ❝ you know i don’t work and tell. ❞ ❝ you’ve done well to make it this far. ❞ ❝ tell someone who gives a shit. ❞ ❝ happy to help. now you owe me. ❞ ❝ are you just trying to use me again? ❞ ❝ what’re you, my mother? ❞ ❝ i’m definitely gonna catch a cold. ❞ ❝ this artwork…doesn’t it look like it’s telling some kind of story? ❞ ❝ what do we do? there’s no way out. ❞ ❝ what’s wrong with wanting the same for myself? ❞ ❝ it’s a little old fashioned for my taste. ❞ ❝ you’re losing your cool. making mistakes. ❞ ❝ don’t scare me like that. ❞ ❝ you’re slow. and so goddamn weak. ❞ ❝ wow, you’ve really gone all out for me! you shouldn’t have. ❞ ❝ i will send you back to the hell you came from. ❞ ❝ heheh, having a rough day? ❞ ❝ the reaper comes for cowards and the careless alike. which are you? ❞ ❝ i’ve got to think. need to get my head straight. ❞ ❝ i shall leave tomorrow. go far away. ❞ ❝ here’s my question…have you changed? ❞ ❝ we will beat this. together. ❞ ❝ what’s wrong? show no mercy! ❞ ❝ i admit - you’ve done well to stay alive this long. ❞ ❝ this means death. a slow, miserable death. ❞

[bluejay-mc]

GONE GIRL (2014) SENTENCE STARTERS

❛ What have we done to each other? ❜

❛ I’m the guy to save you from all this awesomeness. ❜

❛ I think it’s your chin. Yeah, it’s quite villainous. ❜

❛ I have to kiss you now. ❜

❛ Life. I don’t remember the point. ❜

❛ Go home, fuck her brains out, slap her with your penis. “There’s some wood for you, bitch.” ❜

❛ Now, I don’t panic easily…but it’s weird, right? ❜

❛ Should I be concerned? ❜

❛ I love your parents…but they really can be assholes. ❜

❛ I love having strangers pick at my scabs. ❜

❛ You have a world-class vagina. ❜

❛ We are gonna take this very, very seriously. ❜

❛ I feel like I’m on a Law & Order episode. ❜

❛ Should I know my wife’s blood type? ❜

❛ Marriage is hard work, and compromise, and more work. ❜

❛ You naughty minx. ❜

❛ We’re so cute. I wanna punch us in the face. ❜

❛ Everyone knows “complicated” is code for “bitch.” ❜

❛ It seems like the kind of thing that would happen to [name]. ❜

❛ Just because I don’t like to be around [name] doesn’t mean I don’t care about her. ❜

❛ Anyway, whoever took her is bound to bring her back. ❜

❛ Well, we have our first clue. ❜

❛ You’ve been up all night. You wanna look like you’ve been up all night. ❜

❛ Hey, be careful today, okay? ❜

❛ I’ll balance on the exact fucking edge of your emotional razor. ❜

❛ I knew you never should have moved back here. ❜

❛ We are all worried. We are all scared. ❜

❛ We had to file a restraining order. ❜

❛ I’m hoping you can tell me what this means. ❜

❛ Hello, stranger. Fancy meeting you here. ❜

❛ Are you following me? ❜

❛ Promise me we’ll never be like them. ❜

❛ If it happens, we’ll deal with it. ❜

❛ We have each other. Everything else is background noise. ❜

❛ You don’t trust me. You don’t trust my judgment. ❜

❛ I don’t get why you’re daring me to be someone I don’t wanna be. ❜

❛ You look like hammered shit. ❜

❛ You really don’t like him, do you? ❜

❛ Could you please not share that with anyone? ❜

❛ It’s like you’re the goddamn Homecoming King. ❜

❛ It looked like you were having fun. ❜

❛ I am in a nightmare! ❜

❛ My God, this place literally smells like feces. ❜

❛ Hey…have you told me everything? ❜

❛ All I want is to come over here, have a beer with you, and not be judged. Can we do that? ❜

❛ I’m gonna go Benadryl myself to sleep. ❜

❛ I feel like I could disappear. ❜

❛ I called you a hundred times. You gotta pick up your phone! ❜

❛ I needed to see you. I know this is a bad idea. ❜

❛ Can you at least tell me you love me? ❜

❛ Did you, by any chance, tell anybody anything about us? ❜

❛ Did you leave a pair of red panties in my office? ❜

❛ Never say that out loud again. ❜

❛ It’s our last time together. Let’s make the most of it. ❜

❛ Last night, I went from desperate to pathetic. I became someone I don’t even like. ❜

❛ We could have had this fight four hours ago. I’m late. ❜

❛ You’re a fucking coward. ❜

❛ For Valentine’s Day, I thought I’d buy a gun. ❜

❛ I’m being paranoid. Crazy. It’s just… I’d sleep better with a gun. ❜

❛ You fucking idiot. You fucking asshole! You fucking lied to my fucking face! ❜

❛ If anybody finds out, you’re totally fucked. ❜

❛ I was scared for you before, and now, I’m fucking petrified. ❜

❛ But the truth is, you’d have to be a sociopath to behave normally in this situation because it’s the most abnormal situation in the world. ❜

❛ I’m so sick of being picked apart by women. ❜

❛ I have nothing to hide. ❜

❛ You have to fucking talk to me! ❜

❛ Why have you kept this stuff? It’s like a little box of hate. ❜

❛ I love you no matter what. But you need to tell me. ❜

❛ Are you asking me if I killed my wife? ❜

❛ Because sometimes the way he looks at me I think…He may truly kill me. ❜

❛ I am so much happier now that I’m dead. ❜

❛ Let the punishment fit the crime. ❜

❛ You need to bleed. A lot. A lot, a lot. ❜

❛ But, then, we never really existed. ❜

❛ He loved a girl I was pretending to be. ❜

❛ "Cool Girl. “ Men always use that as their defining compliment. ❜

❛ I was fucking game. ❜

❛ What’s the point of being together if you’re not the happiest? ❜

❛ You think I’d let him destroy me and end up happier than ever? No fucking way. ❜

❛ I need 20 seconds where you don’t judge me, interrupt me or get angry. ❜

❛ You married a complete psychopath. ❜

❛ Part of me was relieved when I thought she was gone. ❜

❛ As long as you don’t own a python and blast death metal at 4 AM, we’re gonna be best friends. ❜

❛ Least you could do is not keep his secrets for him. ❜

❛ I believe you. It’s just the craziest thing I’ve ever heard. ❜

❛ I always wondered why you kept in touch after…everything. ❜

❛ The whole thing just feels hinky. ❜

❛ Whatever they found, I think it’s safe to assume that it’s very bad. ❜

❛ Don’t take it personally. ❜

❛ I thought we were steering clear of men for a while. ❜

❛ I’m not sad. I’m angry. ❜

❛ Why should I die? I’m not the asshole. ❜

❛ That sounds like a very bad idea. ❜

❛ This is a ticking time bomb. You’ve gotta throw yourself on it. ❜

❛ Where is the money, sweetheart? ❜

❛ You’re hiding. I don’t know why, and I don’t really care. ❜

❛ There are a lot of people out there a lot worse than we are. ❜

❛ Every time you look smug or annoyed or tense, I’m gonna hit you with a gummy bear. ❜

❛ Knowing you were out there was the only thing that’s kept me going these past few years. ❜

❛ Why are you so good to me? ❜

❛ Why is she dressed like a babysitter? ❜

❛ Come on, you’re staring at ghosts. ❜

❛ Not that I don’t appreciate Bait Shop Chic. ❜

❛ There are cameras everywhere. ❜

❛ You are more than safe, and I am not letting you get away again. ❜

❛ You’re probably the most hated man in America right now. ❜

❛ Just because I am not a murderer doesn’t make me a good guy. I’m not a good guy. ❜

❛ And if you come back, I promise I will spend every day making it up to you. ❜

❛ They disliked me, they liked me, they hated me. And now they love me. ❜

❛ I gave you the benefit of the doubt over and over. Every time you said something stupid, I thought, "Maybe he’s just stupid.” ❜

❛ I’ve forgotten how to behave. ❜

❛ Fire doesn’t erase blood. ❜

❛ Come home. I dare you. ❜

❛ You fucking bitch. ❜

❛ She slit his throat with a box cutter. ❜

❛ All right, you can stop pretending now. ❜

❛ You do know I was just telling you what you wanted to hear, right? ❜

❛ You know me in your marrow. ❜

❛ Take off your clothes. I need to make sure you’re not wearing a wire. ❜

❛ You killed someone. You’re a murderer. ❜

❛ I’m a fighter. I fought my way back to you. ❜

❛ I’ll make sure that no one forgets the pain you caused me. ❜

❛ When two people love each other and can’t make that work…that’s the real tragedy. ❜

❛ I swear, you two are the most fucked-up people I’ve ever known. ❜

❛ I would never, ever hurt you. ❜

❛ I don’t care. I am leaving you. ❜

❛ I won’t have to teach your child to hate you. He’ll do that all by himself. ❜

❛ You fucking cunt! ❜

❛ The only time you liked yourself was when you were trying to be someone this cunt might like. ❜

❛ I’ve killed for you. Who else can say that? ❜

❛ Yes, I loved you. And then all we did was resent each other, and try to control each other. And cause each other pain. ❜

❛ You’re breaking my heart. ❜

❛ You’re my voice of reason. I need you with me on this. ❜

❛ Of course I’m with you. I was with you before we were even born. ❜

❛ We’ve been through the darkness. We’ve come out, united. ❜

[bluejay-mc]

game grumps ask meme.

“Dude, just… just pity laugh, at least!” “I don’t wanna kill anybody, I’m a pacifist. Ooops, killed six people.” “Six is the number of Def Leppard members, almost.” “Did you know I’m a professional joke? My life is a joke.” “Why do you enjoy watching me suffer so?” “Remember kids, if you wanna defeat the evil power, you better fucking find the nearest sharpest sword and run as fast as you can.” “I don’t judge you when you steal children, so I’ll thank you to show me that same courtesy.” “Having a great time being in immeasurable pain.” “Yes, have you ever heard of brapnel? That’s baby shrapnel.” “Wait, mechanical bird is plane. I just realized.” “Crazy how dead you are, I mean like, wow.” “I didn’t have any problem at all after I died twice.” “Such a nice man we ripped off there.” “I’ll never put on pants.” “Checkers would be better with badgers.” “HEY LADIES. I’M TOM JONES. LEADER OF THE TOM JONES CULT. MY NAME’S TOM JONES. GIMME THIRTY APPLES. …TWENTY-FIVE APPLES” “She’s adorable! Until she turns into a hideous undead monster creature, then ya gotta hit her with the lead pipe.” “Stop dancing at me!” “I have some very important masturbating to do.” “You make me have to pee, always.” “Whales are just Earth’s way of taking a shit.” “I like it when Luigi’s happy. It makes me smile.” “You know when you get high, and you start floating five feet off the ground, and gain a Spanish accent?” “Whenever you talk about being high, it always just shows how much you’ve clearly never gotten high before.” “Dude, what if hell was up?!” “I will raise that chicken as if it were my own daughter… who I turned into chicken fingers.” “‘Becky with the good hair’ sounds too much like ‘caramel corn’?” “I! WANT! MURDER!” “Even 90s rock won’t make me feel good about this!” “This might be the drugs talking, but I love drugs.” “That’s one boopity you shouldn’t have shmoopled.” “Am I nude right now?” “It’d be weird to sleep amongst your dead friends.” “Are you here to repent for your chins?” “Why am I not eating ice cream for every meal?” “This taxi is bae.” “The world is full of magic. Horrible, horrible magic.” “Jesus is my drug.” “I don’t know anything about memes.” “You would say that, no matter what, me from another dimension that runs a porn ring.” “I’m a milk-based life form.” “I fucked a cantaloupe once.” “Awww babe, look at us, we have our own cam girl operation.” “Everyone who works for us gradually becomes more gay in their interactions because… we are always getting… weirdly gay with each other.” “Shut up, ya tweezer!” “And Half-Life 3, I don’t know anything about Half-Life 3, other than that everyone says it’s confirmed.” “Good thing you’ve got fingers and wrists of steel, from that straight jacking.” “I’ve learned the importance of being cuddled.” “Hi, I’m a musician with a huge penis. Do you know where I can find guitars and Magnum condoms?” “Baths are amazing, especially when you bring a friend.” “Jesus, you gotta wine and dine me first. You can’t just open up with that shit.” “We’ve broken several laws.” “What, you wanna try diplomacy? He’s a fucking crab!” “I’M READY TO BREED!” “‘Bonfire’ is made up of two words: ‘bonf’ and ‘ire.’” “These balls are coming at me fast and furious. It’s like that movie, ‘Speed.’” “As I was about to say, revenge is a dish best served fuck you.” “When someone says ‘just fuck me up’ on the internet that means have sex with me in a rough, passionate manner, correct?” “If there’s one thing I can be totally honest about, it’s that I would happily lie to your face.” “Just get abducted! We are your saviors, we’re flying in the sky- treat us as your new gods.” “If I can’t be the best, I sure as hell can be the worst!” “Water is just… air juice.” “Uh… Doctor, could you put tits on my thumbs?” “We hang out… we touch each other…” “Does anyone have a paper bag I can hyperventilate into?” “2016 is the year of the butt.” “If I took pole-dancing, I would be worried that it would be too erotic for everybody else.” “You make another joke like that, and I’m gonna have to beat you to death with your own shoes.” “Whoa, look at this trapezoid-headed Funyon ring!” “I have to take off my jacket because I’m getting hot because this sucks so bad.” “He died as he lived: covered in mayonnaise.” “Who wears pants anymore? So 2015.” “What took you so long, you butt plug?!” “Look, you tell a couple jokes as a dad and suddenly everyone’s like ‘you’re making dad jokes.’” “Could you imagine if you unlocked outfits in real life? Like, “Congratulations you wiped your ass, here’s a new shirt.”” “As long as I live, I will never stop loving your random bursts of outrage.” “Like I would kill a friend… without watching.” “With your Phd and my also being here, we can solve any problem.” “I love watching you guys suffer.” “Man, the void of nothingness is kinda lame.” “Sometimes you gotta take time and smell the roses. And sometimes you’re gonna be a guy jacking yourself off while you’re rubbing a girl in a video game.” “I can’t prove that someone ISN’T a reptilian.” “Oh my god, do we have to kill him while he’s asleep?” “I feel dead inside, but at least I had pie.” “This is nice. We’re all bathing in the warm glow of murder.” “The tears are bittersweet but the pie is delicious.” “Murder is a spectator sport.” “Today’s been a day. A day full of tasty, tasty murder.” “Man, I wish anime was human history.” “99 red balloons… Something- something- German song.” “If you wanna have sex you don’t have to make a little song about it, like just come right out and ask.” “If only I could have sex with my own brain. That would be a mind-fuck.” “I am not nature. I am nurture.” “Wouldn’t it be hilarious if they died?” “Tell me what you’re gonna do to me.” “Taco Bell cures diabetes.” “Rule number one of babysitting? DON’T STEP ON THE BABY!” “Play for my amusement, child.” “How does a ghost enter a skeleton? And I don’t mean that in a sexy way.” “You’re locked the closet with the dildo!” “Yeah, I’ve been drunk on pot before. What of it?” “You are the worst son ever.” “Shut up, this is my moment of time shine!” “Bro, can I be honest with you guys right now? I love defiling things.” “I wanna touch everything with my boner, including my boner!” “When you’re married, you can announce your boners everywhere.” “I am enjoying my pot! Take that out of context.” “Dude, what if you were next to a supernova when it supernovaed?” “…and she’s like COVERED in butter.” “I do apologize for my actions, even though they were totally and completely justified.” “What are the animals crossing, exactly?” “I’m a firm believer in ‘if you’re going to fail, you might as well fail spectacularly.’” “And you know what? We’re tied right now, like brothers… only one brother is significantly smarter and more handsome than the other and has like 15 years more life experience.” “Frick to the 30th power!” “My eyebrows are slippery and slimy. I grease them.” “This is literally just elementary hydrodynamics, I can’t believe you can’t grasp this.” “Well look the important thing that I’m having fun and other people aren’t.” “I would fuck everything on the screen including the animals and the bicycle.” “How dare you know stuff about things. I’m gonna beat you up with my fists… that are made of stuff and things.” “Spyyyder Loops™ cereal…. made with… spiders.” “I’m a bottom kind of guy.” “Can you see my labia in this fucking costume?” “Just bros bein’ bros…” “I never feel quite as alone as I do when I play Burger Time.” “If you do this… I’m gonna be mildly impressed with you.” “I don’t know how to be interesting, could you give me advice?” “I BIRTHED YOU FROM MY BRAIN VAGINA.” “I’m kind of amazing at everything I do.” “I’LL FUCKING STAB YOUR PARENTS!” “I would get a photo-realistic tattoo of your face on my inner thigh.” “Do you think I came out the pussy drawing fucking Mozart?!” “Follow your stupid fucking dreams.” “Everyone does crack at some point in their lives. It’s pretty much a rite of passage.” “I wanna know where Luigi is!” “Nothin’ wrong with that. Get clean, get clean with the lord.” “You’re on page 2, and I’m on page…uh, furiously concentrating on not throwing up from this Nutella situation.” “I wish you could jump inside my skin and know what I know, and feel what I feel.” “I’m feeling fly for a caucasian man.” “I will actually strangle you with my bare hands and feet.” “Don’t call me “bro” in an accusatory tone!” “This is a good yiff right here.” “My friends! I love killing my friends.” “Now I am the one who is bitch.” “He died as he lived: eating chicken McNuggets.” “Well, thank you so much, that’s so nice of you to say, but I don’t believe you and you’re a liar.” “DIE! DIE YOU SICK SON OF A BITCH!” “I could tell by his briefly angry eyebrows that he’s someone we should be stabbing.” “A blunt is a maridujuana.” “If you can’t beat em, Shoot ‘em with a gun!” “Getting kicked in the nuts is not an event, it’s a process.” “My goal is to pee in every major body of water on earth.” “Man, Club Penguin’s gotten weird.” “Aw jimminey-jillakers. Gee-whiz Batman. Aw frick. Oh jeezum.” “And you have ten thousand and seven hundred grams of mardujuana.” “My style is old, nasty t-shirt and rapidly disintegrating pants.” “If you ever run into me in the wild, we’ll hug it out.” “I think the noodles are going to kill me!” “I’m sorry, your son is an anthropomorphic cheese melt.” “Wait, but, also shut up.”

[bluejay-mc]

Hear me out.

[bluejay-mc]

Romantic First Meeting Rp Meme

“Hey, don’t worry about it. I’ll take care of the rest of that for you.❜ 

Do you mind if i sit here?❜ 

“As sad as it is, misery loves company. I’m glad I am not the only person who was stood up.❜ 

“I think I know your sister/brother,❜ 

“Sorry about that, let me help you feel that.❜ 

“I have a lot of secs- Time, I mean time.❜ 

“God, your beautiful. Wonderful, that was my inside voice.❜ 

“Do you mind if I draw you or this school project?❜ 

“is this seat taken?❜ 

”you must be new! i didn’t catch your name! “

hey. do you need some help with that ﹖❜ 

hey i’ve got extra time on the dryer; you’re welcome to it. ❜ 

excuse me, could you hand me that–❜ 

it’s your first time too, huh? ❜ 

usually this isn’t a place to meet new people, but here we are! ❜ 

hey you! being a wallflower won’t gain you friends, come say hi! ❜ 

wait can we start over, i prefer to leave a good impression. ❜ 

❛  i know we only just met but i already feel like i’ve known you my whole life.  ❜ 

 ❛  umm, is this seat taken ?  ❜ 

❛  don’t be alarmed now but there’s someone following you. pretend you know me and come with me. i’ll get you somewhere safe.  ❜

 ❛  my friends ditched me here and now i could really use a ride home.  ❜ 

❛  i don’t think we’ve met yet but you looked like you needed someone to talk to.  ❜

 ❛  can you please pretend to be my boyfriend / girlfriend for a moment so my ex will leave me alone ?   ❜ 

❛  are you always this straightforward with strangers ?  ❜

 ❛  here, i noticed you lost this earlier.  ❜ 

❛  i’m sorry, i must’ve mistaken you for somebody else.  ❜ 

❛  so, what brings you here today ?  ❜

 ❛  hi, my name is [name]. it’s nice meeting you.  ❜ ❛  you’re cute. how about i buy you a drink ?  ❜

 ❛  can’t you watch where you are going ?!  ❜ 

❛  i just moved into the apartment next to you, so i guess we’re gonna be neighbors now.  ❜ ❛  oh god, you’re [name], aren’t you ?  ❜ 

❛  here, let me help you.  ❜ 

❛  is there a reasons you’re here on your own ?  ❜ 

❛  apparently we’re going to be working on this together now.  ❜

 ❛  you look like you could use a hand with that.  ❜ 

❛  what do people around here do to have some fun ?  ❜ 

❛  looks like this will take a while, huh ?  ❜

 ❛  oh god. please tell me you haven’t just heard me talk to myself.  ❜

 ❛  excuse me, i think i’m lost.  ❜ 

❛  i just wanted to say that i really like your outfit.  ❜

 ❛  do you come here often ?  ❜

 ❛  do you mind if i join you for a bit ?  ❜ 

❛  you looked lonely so i got you a drink.  ❜

 ❛  i don’t think we’ve met, i’m [name].  ❜

 ❛  what the hell just happened there ?  ❜

 ❛  have you seen this anywhere ? i must’ve lost it.  ❜ 

❛  can i please use your phone ? i have to call someone to get me out of here.  ❜ 

❛  seems like we’re gonna be spending a lot of time together.  ❜

 ❛  come with me, and don’t ask any questions. it’s urgent.  ❜ 

❛  i heard strange noises coming from your apartment and just wanted to make sure everything is alright.  ❜

 ❛  i have a spare ticket, you wanna come in with me ?  ❜ 

❛  you don’t know me but will you be my date for tonight ?  ❜ 

❛  we’ve got some time to kill so why don’t you tell me a little about yourself ?  ❜ 

❛  i don’t usually just walk up to strangers but my friends set me up to it.  ❜ 

❛  i think our orders may have gotten mixed up.  ❜ 

❛  do i have something on my face or why do you keep looking at me like that ?  ❜

[bluejay-mc]

🐝  *  ―  𝐅𝐈𝐑𝐒𝐓 𝐌𝐄𝐄𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒.   (  random assortment of sentences that can but don’t have to be used for muses meeting each other for the first time. feel free to adjust to better fit your muses.  )

❛  i know we only just met but i already feel like i’ve known you my whole life.  ❜ ❛  umm, is this seat taken ?  ❜ ❛  don’t be alarmed now but there’s someone following you. pretend you know me and come with me. i’ll get you somewhere safe.  ❜ ❛  my friends ditched me here and now i could really use a ride home.  ❜ ❛  i don’t think we’ve met yet but you looked like you needed someone to talk to.  ❜ ❛  can you please pretend to be my boyfriend / girlfriend for a moment so my ex will leave me alone ?   ❜ ❛  are you always this straightforward with strangers ?  ❜ ❛  here, i noticed you lost this earlier.  ❜ ❛  i’m sorry, i must’ve mistaken you for somebody else.  ❜ ❛  so, what brings you here today ?  ❜ ❛  hi, my name is [name]. it’s nice meeting you.  ❜ ❛  you’re cute. how about i buy you a drink ?  ❜ ❛  can’t you watch where you are going ?!  ❜ ❛  i just moved into the apartment next to you, so i guess we’re gonna be neighbors now.  ❜ ❛  oh god, you’re [name], aren’t you ?  ❜ ❛  here, let me help you.  ❜ ❛  is there a reasons you’re here on your own ?  ❜ ❛  apparently we’re going to be working on this together now.  ❜ ❛  you look like you could use a hand with that.  ❜ ❛  what do people around here do to have some fun ?  ❜ ❛  looks like this will take a while, huh ?  ❜ ❛  oh god. please tell me you haven’t just heard me talk to myself.  ❜ ❛  excuse me, i think i’m lost.  ❜ ❛  i just wanted to say that i really like your outfit.  ❜ ❛  do you come here often ?  ❜ ❛  do you mind if i join you for a bit ?  ❜ ❛  you looked lonely so i got you a drink.  ❜ ❛  i don’t think we’ve met, i’m [name].  ❜ ❛  what the hell just happened there ?  ❜ ❛  have you seen this anywhere ? i must’ve lost it.  ❜ ❛  can i please use your phone ? i have to call someone to get me out of here.  ❜ ❛  seems like we’re gonna be spending a lot of time together.  ❜ ❛  come with me, and don’t ask any questions. it’s urgent.  ❜ ❛  i heard strange noises coming from your apartment and just wanted to make sure everything is alright.  ❜ ❛  i have a spare ticket, you wanna come in with me ?  ❜ ❛  you don’t know me but will you be my date for tonight ?  ❜ ❛  we’ve got some time to kill so why don’t you tell me a little about yourself ?  ❜ ❛  i don’t usually just walk up to strangers but my friends set me up to it.  ❜ ❛  i think our orders may have gotten mixed up.  ❜ ❛  do i have something on my face or why do you keep looking at me like that ?  ❜

[bluejay-mc]

Alright the doc for Maddie’s Arcana verse is up! Go check it out in her bio!

[bluejay-mc]

*doing Maddie’s arcana verse bio*

“god dammit what was the lore again”

[bluejay-mc]

Oh.