bluenettevelyn

[bluenettevelyn]

Men in college: I was so edgy in high school. Not like other boys. I don’t conform. No-one understands me.

Me: So what I’m hearing is actually, you listened to XXXTentacion, smoked weed, jerked off to hentai, and decided women didn’t like nice guys because you felt entitled to an attractive girl’s attention?

[bluenettevelyn]

Mr. Vague might be a murderer.

So there’s this guy in my dorm I like to call, “Mr. Vague”. This is because he is suspiciously, irritatingly, unnecessarily vague. All the time.

Last semester, he asked to borrow my knife, twice. Wouldn’t tell me why. Said he needed it for “stuff”.

Today he asked me if I had hydrogen peroxide??

TL;DR I think my friend might be a murderer.

[bluenettevelyn]

Beach Narrative Poem

One night, I dreamt I played upon a beach -

A beach behind a school I used to know.

The sky was grey, and wind blew through my hair.

My barefoot toes were curling in the sand.

I wore a pair of worn blue jeans.

My turtleneck was shuddering against my skin.

 Everyone I ever knew in all my life

Played peacefully; there was no strife.

The waves fell soft without a sound,

Quiet grass grew from the ground,

And laughter rang with silence there -

There was no noise but rushing air.

 I looked out across the ocean black,

Where not a sign of life is found.

I knew the closer that I got,

The easier I would be drowned.

Overwhelmed with morbid curiosity,

I couldn’t help but try to see.

 It’s funny how my mind gets the better of me.

 I took a step in paradise,

And I left my footprint in the sand.

The next I took filled instantly,

Leaving only lines in memory of me.

My feet were wrapped in sticky mud,

When finally, I heard the screams.

 “Save me!”, “Don’t walk too far!”,

“Run away!”, “Don’t follow your heart!”  

For this is where the curious go.

“Follow me if you want to know!”

The clouds grew darker; the waves grew higher.

Lightning struck – madness and fire.

 Those on the beach were running in fear,

And still I took another step,

For even then I felt no fear.

A swarm of birds from every side,

Black as night, without a face,

Came deadly down on panicked people whom I knew.

 Still I hadn’t learned my lesson.

 I kept stepping out too far.

First my knees in icy water froze;

A few more steps and my chin was boiling.

The water scraped away my skin;

My clothes weighed me down,

And I drowned, never feeling a thing.

 I took a step in paradise,

And left nothing but a footprint in the sand.

Now, somewhere in my mind,

There’s an empty seashore

Clouded in grey, with calm waters,

Never to be disturbed again.

 I left nothing but a footprint in the sand.

[bluenettevelyn]

My sister asked me to make this for her. She’s an avid Harry Potter fan.

[bluenettevelyn]

I wonder if a piano almost fell out of a window onto me once, but I never noticed, because I had my earbuds in and was rocking out to loud music with my eyes closed.

[bluenettevelyn]

Have a Knife Day

Me: *Tries to steal strawberry from sister surreptitiously* 

Sister: “Does that really seem like a smart idea when I’m holding a knife?” (implying she will cut off my fingers if I try such a stunt again

Two minutes later....

Me: *Doing the dishes*

Sister: *Shows up suddenly and silently from behind me holding a knife.”

Me: “Ah!” *Jumps*

Sister: “I didn’t know how you wanted to put this knife in the dishwasher, so I’ll just give it to you.” *Walks away*

Me: *Feels creeped out*

Me: *Moves one fork from a stack of dishes*

Sister: *Walks past a few feet away*

Large quantity of knives: *Come flying through the air towards me*

Me: “AHH!”

Large quantity of knives: *Lands safely without breaking or injuring anything*

Me: “Phew.” *Glances anxiously at sister*

[bluenettevelyn]

Dentists

Me *brushes teeth twice a day, carefully, for two minutes, and flosses every other night*

Dentist: “You need to work harder at brushing and flossing your teeth. You don’t want to get cavities.”

Me *brushes teeth REALLY carefully for two minutes and flosses every night*

Dentist: “You need to work harder at brushing and flossing your teeth. You don’t want to get cavities.”

Me *doesn’t brush teeth three nights in a row before appointment, but still brushes in mornings. Only flosses once every couple weeks*

Dentist: “Wow! Your teeth are amazing and in such good condition! It’s rare to see teeth like that! You are doing a great job of brushing and flossing! Keep up with what you’re doing!”

Me: *What?*

[bluenettevelyn]

Serial Killers... Again

My sister got a book on the most successful/historical serial killers at dinner today. Fifteen minutes later...

Her: “Why are you doing that over here while I have a knife?”

Me: “I’m practicing walking weird. What’s wrong with that?”

Her: “Nothing.” long pause. “You’d be walking a lot funnier if you had a knife. In you.”

Me: “Oh.” makes slightly nervous expression. “Yay.”

Her: “What? Did I say something?”

[bluenettevelyn]

YES. This is me.

Calculations. Patreon | Store | Web | Twitter | Facebook | Instagram

[bluenettevelyn]

Physics - What I’m Really Learning:

-How to help petty thieves escape from jail if they weigh more than 58 kilograms and have an abnormally large amount of sheets

-Fuzzy dice is the technical term

-Don’t use rope to lift a car vertically

-People like weighing themselves in elevators

-People care more about Bob’s acceleration than why he jumped off the roof

-Don’t make train floors slippery

-If your driveway is icy, park in your neighbor’s driveway

-”Piles of snow on slippery roofs can become dangerous projectiles as they melt.”

-Don’t put your drink on the dashboard

-Climbing chimneys is hard

-Before you get in a car crash, you should calculate the precise deceleration, or you might die 

-People care about chairs sliding during earthquakes

-Don’t try to replicate Galileo’s experiment by dropping your purse over the side of the leaning tower of Pisa

-Francesca can recognize a precisely 25 degree angle, and she really wants to do math on a plane flight

-Treat children like particles

-Don’t use a static rope while pro climbing.

-If you’re tied to your friends while climbing an icy mountain, and one of them slips, you’d better be able to hold all their weight, or you’re all going to die.

[bluenettevelyn]

This is adorable!

In celebration of gaining 100 followers on this blog, I give you the lake scene!

More Scorbus posts of mine

[bluenettevelyn]

Compliments

Okay, so I realized something. I know it’s probably a little stupid that it took me this long. 

Some people don’t get compliments. Ever. They might say stuff like “I appreciate criticism because it helps me improve,”  but this is something they’ve been taught to believe. These people are just as desperate for compliments as we are, but they never say anything. 

I met someone. My dream guy. He seems so amazing in every way. That’s why it amazes me to find out he’s surprised when I compliment him on his chivalry or his smile or his sense of humor. He’s embarrassed. He doesn’t get a lot of compliments. He’s surprised to learn anyone would think about him all day, or accidentally call other people by his name, or talk about him so frequently people invent a drinking game around it. 

Compliments are really important. Without compliments, people don’t feel important. They only hear criticism, and that is all they can accept about themselves, because they never hear about how amazing they are.

That’s why I have resolved to try to give as many people compliments as I can.

Because you never know when someone you think is perfect is actually dying inside because they don’t believe in themself. You never know when the pretty girl with lots of friends wants to die because she feels worthless and alone. You never know when the quiet guy who does everything right is trapped in his own personal Hell. 

You never know what’s going on in someone else’s head. A compliment could save someone’s life.

If you notice that that dress looks awesome on so-and-so, tell her.

If your worst enemy did really well in that soccer game, congratulate her. 

If that guy held the door for you when you tripped and dropped everything, tell him how much it meant to you.

If your friend means a lot to you, tell him.

If you really appreciate your mom’s help on your homework, tell her.

It’s often the people who deserve it the most who don’t get compliments. You might think, “Oh, he’s been told again and again that he’s helpful; I don’t need to repeat it.” But you do. Because he feels like he hasn’t done enough.

People need to know that they matter. People need to know that they are loved. People need to know that they are appreciated. It doesn’t matter who they are. Everyone has insecurities, but only some people get compliments. 

This needs to be the most important thing. Forget about who hates who for a minute, and just give out free hugs. Don’t treat people how you are treated - treat them better. If someone needs a compliment, forget about whether or not you think they deserve it. The truth is, every person needs a compliment every once in a while.

[bluenettevelyn]

Vote now for Ship of the Year by liking and reblogging your OTP here on Tumblr! Remember, notes = votes, so  be sure to show your favorite ship some love and tune into the 2016 @mtvfandom​ Awards on July 24th at 8/7c to see who wins!

Art by @samkatdiz

[bluenettevelyn]

my sociopathic sister can’t spell

So we were talking about Captain America Civil War over dinner. My sister was complaining that she didn’t like that particular movie because “Their behavior was too erotic and I couldn’t tell what was going on.”

I bet you can imagine how the rest of my family reacted.

In case you can’t, here’s how it all went down. 

Me: “[Sister’s Name], I think you meant to use a different word.”

Her: “What do you mean?”

Me: “The word you’re looking for is ‘erratic’. It means something completely different.”

Stepmom (mumbling to self): “Ha! Erotic.”

Her: “You know I can’t spell. What does erotic mean then?”

Dad: “What was there in the movie that was even erotic anyway?”

Me (thinking): This is where fandom knowledge can come in handy...

Me: “Well... There is the whole Steve Rogers/Bucky thing. The fandom calls it Stucky...” 

Dad (mumbling): “Stucky? Wow. I’m leaving the table now.”

Her: “What’s a fandom? And why would anyone think Captain America and Bucky were dating?”

Me (thinking): Ooh boy.

Me: “I keep forgetting I have insider fanfiction knowledge and know all the lingo.”

Her: “You mean language?”

Me: “Yeah, so -”

Her: “It’s language, not lingo.”

Me: “Apparently ‘lingo’ is insider lingo too. Anyway, They think Steve and Bucky are together because of their close friendsh-”

Her: “[...] totally inaccurate [...] can’t believe [...] don’t understand [...]” ETC.

This, folks, is why spelling, pronunciation, and dictionary.com are so important.

[bluenettevelyn]

And then the last chapter up is “postponed until further notice” and you are back where you started and want to write a fanfiction for the fanfiction.

when you find a really good fanfic that has correct grammar and a plot that makes sense and the author wrote really long chapters

[bluenettevelyn]

Why do people hate?

It’s absolutely pointless. Hate is not good. Hate does not result in good. Hate does not come from anything good. Why do people hate?

Basically, Hate is a desire to avoid something and a feeling of hostility – essentially, anger and fear.

People fear things:

-They don’t understand

-That have power over them

-That threaten their lives, happiness, or property

-That they are taught to fear

-That are different

People are angry when:

-They feel powerless / a loss of control

-They are afraid

-They lose something / are scared of losing something

-They feel circumstances are unjust

-They feel betrayed / embarrassed

-They are surprised

People tend to hate people who

-They don’t understand

-Have power over them

-Threaten their lives, happiness or property

-Make them feel inadequate

-Treat them unjustly

-They are taught to fear

-Are different

-Hurt them

It is okay to be angry at people who

-Hurt you or someone else

-Threaten yours or someone else’s well-being

-Treat you or someone else unjustly

It’s okay to be scared of

-Anything

It’s not okay to hate (in no particular order)

-Yourself

-Men

-Women

-Black people

-White people

-Hispanic people

-Asian people

-Tall people

-Short people

-Straight people

-Gay people

-Bisexual people

-Transgender people

-Asexual people

-Smart people

-Stupid people

-Happy people

-Sad people

-Attractive people

-Unattractive people

-Rich people

-Poor people

-Powerless people

-Powerful people

-Average people

-Exceptional people

-Christian people

-Atheist people

-Muslim people

-Jewish people

-Buddhist people

-Baby people

-Young people

-Old people

-Skinny people

-Fat people

-Sick people

-Healthy people

-Crazy people

-Sane people

-Normal people

-Goth people

-Similar people

-Different people

-Weird people

-Foreign people

-Dead people

-Living people

-Famous people

-Infamous people

-Virtually unknown people

-Familiar people

-Mysterious people

-People in general

THIS SHOULD BE SIMPLE

[bluenettevelyn]

Tracing my ancestry... back to BC.

Do you ever have those days where you just keep researching your ancestors all the way back to the 4th century BC? No? I guess that’s just me. Ἀντίοχος father of Σέλευκος Α΄ Νικάτωρ is one of my ancestors! Yay!