bob--the--hamster

[bob--the--hamster]

Yep! Next month I will be at Word On The Street in Toronto. If any of y'all are there, stop by and say hello.

[bob--the--hamster]

Yay! The Narratess Indie August sale is happening this weekend, and my book Flying Eye Goddess very on-sale right now. So are a ton of other great fantasy and sci-fi books. Go look here: https://indiebook.sale/ -- And if you find anything you enjoy, consider leaving a review. Good reviews are a really big deal for indie authors!

[bob--the--hamster]

The real cover is great, but the sketch is PERFECT ♥️

im on a quest to find a science fiction book i saw years ago. on the cover was a green centaur man & he had tiny green centaur men instead of hands. it was painted in that classic 60s psychedelic sci-fi book cover style that may or may not have had anything to do with the actual contents of the book

this is all the information i have & im not 100% sure it wasnt a dream. who is brave enough to help me find this book

[bob--the--hamster]

This is a fantastic list of questions to ask your characters ♥️

basic things you should know about your main characters

how is their relationship with their family

what are their beliefs, if they have any

what is their motivation (preferably something unrelated to their love interest/romantic feelings)

who were they raised to be vs. who they became/are becoming

what are their plans for the future, if they have any

how they feel about themselves and how it affects their behaviour

how do they feel about things they cannot control

and last but not least: Why is This Character the Protagonist??

[bob--the--hamster]

My heart is bursting with love for the sweetest evil-god-of-destruction

new tigers!!!!!

[bob--the--hamster]

The unicorn rhinoceros hybrid has two horns, so many people feel that defeats the purpose

“The first thing you need to know,” the stable master announced loudly to the gaggle of school children trailing behind her, “is that these are not unicorns.”

Eleven-year-olds tended to be loud. Their silent scepticism was deafening.

“You cannot keep unicorns in captivity,” she continued. “These are all crossbreeds, mostly with specific breeds of horses.”

There was a small murmur of curiosity and a gangly arm shot up into the air.

“Yes?”

“Only mostly horses?”

It was always fun when some of them paid close attention. “Only mostly horses. I only deal with European breeds, and they tend to cross well with horses. See this here is a cross between a grey Thoroughbred and an English Unicorn. They’re large, and reasonably docile.” They also had that champagne sheen most showy folk preferred. “For people who come here looking for a steed, this is their best bet. Although I've only ever seen it done by people who personally broke them as yearlings.”

By now she definitely had the whole class’s full attention.

“But this French Licorne cross is actually half fallow deer.” She gestured to the pasture beyond the fence. “Look at them. Slight build, slender legs, built for speed and agility. They need a lot of space but they are beautiful to look at, and they’re relatively easy to tame for the pure of heart.” There was still something distinctly deer-like about them and they were all so beautifully cream coloured that they almost took on a silver hue.

“What’s those hairy ones?” a voice piped up.

“That’s a Unicorno/Shetland mix, from central Italy. Traditionally they tend to be crossed with Monterufolino, but they are hard to come by and make their coats even darker.” Unicorni were naturally built more like ponies, some with considerably shorter horns, and their coats were often a much darker gold, or even brown. They were less flighty than the French breeds though, even if they showed blatant favouritism towards certain caretakers. They would even pull a carriage if properly motivated.

“Do you have any bigger ones?”

The stable master turned around. “What was that?”

One of the boys was standing behind her with a determined look on his face. “Do you have any like that but bigger. With the beards and the furry hooves.”

“Feathering,” she corrected automatically and the boy nodded eagerly. She frowned. “What exactly do you mean?”

“There’s really big unicorns,” he pressed. “With wild manes and tails and split hooves like the French ones but hair like those ones!”

“Buddy,” she laughed, “what you’re describing there is a Scottish unicorn and let me tell you, they cannot even be crossbred into domestication.”

The little face fell.

“Any offspring of an Aon-adharcach will be as wild as they are no one can capture them with their horn still intact, not on your life. You go near one of them with a halter and it will skewer you.”

She smiled at the boy, who still looked rather taken aback, despite this proof of his favourites superiority.

“Tell you what. If you want to see something unhinged and imposing, I’ll take you to see the Unicorn/Friesian cross we’ve just got in from the Netherlands.”

[bob--the--hamster]

Things my characters eat and drink in my new novel

Cheap beer, Anise tea, Lunch-on-a-stick, Berry grog, Flop bread & sausages, Fried lancelets on a bed of fuzzy grain with tart drupes, Honey brine pickled cactus heart strudels with anthill spice, Milk's cake, Triple sugar fish

[bob--the--hamster]

Fantasy Murder Mystery

Whodunit? Was it the retired executioner with an axe to grind? Was it the woman who claims to be a god? Was it the wizard who insists that the living doll that he carries around isn't a daemon? Or was it their host– a kindly man of excellent hospitality who absolutely never takes off his copper skull mask for any reason?

[bob--the--hamster]

My book

Have you read and enjoyed my book? Please leave a review or share it with a friend. Independent authors rely on word-of-mouth!

[bob--the--hamster]

Inadvisably Applied Magic, with a minor in Slood Dynamics.

Hogwarts houses are out. Unseen University disciplines are in. Choose your side

Indefinite studies

Recent Runes

Inadvisably Applied Magic

Cruel and Unusual Geography

Post Morthem Communications

Applied Astrology

Approximate Accuracy

Applied Anthropics

Extreme Horticulture

Liberal studies

Illiberal Studies

Morbid Bibliomamcy

Recondite Architecture and Origami Map Folding‎

Recondite Phenomena

Slood Dynamics

Esoteric Studies

Wooly Thinking

Op you forgot-

[bob--the--hamster]

It's just been a Pikachu kinda day

[bob--the--hamster]

Author &Artisan Market

This is how I am enjoying my day

[bob--the--hamster]

books!

I had fun selling books today!

[bob--the--hamster]

audiobook

Hello to the one human and the rotating cast of half a dozen bots who follow me! My first novel is not available as an audiobook. It makes me so very happy to listen to it.

[bob--the--hamster]

This comic is so good! I absolutely love that the frog witch's price for the magic spell is "scrub my filthy gator"

"Princess Goldfish", a 4 page fairytale for Micro-Comic Summer by @amrynth and myself!

This comic, y'all. I haven't finished a comic page in months but the script my wife wrote for this was so cute it summoned me out of my hermit cave and demanded I draw it just so it could exist in the world.

Enjoy!

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patreon

[bob--the--hamster]

listen I ended up regretting saying anything about this on my old blog because people will interpret literally any and every statement maliciously on this hellsite but I want to start like. a helpline for people who are like “hey I pretty much only read YA but I’m like 22 now and don’t relate to teenagers as much, it’s such a shame that there are no fun books written for adults :(” because boy HOWDY are there some fun books for adults 

[bob--the--hamster]

guess who baked cookies for the book fair?