bobiscool95

[bobiscool95]

Hey so I have made a YouTube channel where I'm going to upload me playing piano I would appreciate if this got shared, the link to my channel is below :)

@abiethewizardduck @carrotsinnovember @hammyham-o-o @discoveredreality @thecrazyalchemist @binvibin @ashlamsms @deetealeaf @justafanbutcurious @youtube

[bobiscool95]

TURN ON YOUR BOOOPPPPSSSS!!

Howwwwww

[bobiscool95]

😁♥️

tag game!

Your last emojis are your gender

🇺🇲👍

Uh

@erikaskblog @fymo-blogs

[bobiscool95]

♥️

[bobiscool95]

Playlist Shuffle Poll!

Thank you @owlsandwich for the tag :D

rules: shuffle your On Repeat playlist and list the first five songs in a poll, then have your followers choose their favorite.

I'm just going with my liked songs because I don't particularly have a playlist i put on repeat

Damn that's varied, for some reason every other song that was showing up was a Kpop one, even though it's been months since i've last listened to some of them(asshole, whenever i shuffle my playlist none of these play but now that I'm doing this Spotify has decided to pull songs from the very depth of my listening history)

@zeherili-ankhein @chichihuahua1413 @no-idea-where-i-am-lost

@ineffable-basted @bookisposts and whoever wants to join

[bobiscool95]

to anyone who self harms (or used to)

i finally reached one year without cutting myself, and i didnt get the chance to tell people because life just got in the way, which made me sad because i want people to be proud of me. but i realised that when i say 'oh i managed to go a year without cutting myself', people tend to assume that i stopped self harming. and that isnt really how it works. you cant go from self harming every other day, to just nothing. so i wanted to make a list of the things i realised about self harm and recovery, as a celebration for myself about what i achieved and to let anyone who is struggling know that it isnt just them. if noone reads this then thats fine, at least its out in the world just in case.

things people dont tell you about self harm:

i think alot of people assume that if you want to badly enough, you can just stop self harming. and you do have to want to to be able to stop, you can't quit if your heart isnt in it. but its also so difficult to go completely cold-turkey, and stop all at once. and if/when you relapse, its going to feel awful. what you have to remember is, as long as you want to stop then you can stop. but...

IT IS NOT LINEAR! i tried 3 or 4 times to stop before my final try, i once managed 3 months before i relapsed. and it made me feel like a failure, of course it did. because i had spent months, maybe years, self harming without the energy to stop. and when i finally started to want to, it was so so hard. you might manage days or weeks or months without ever touching a blade, and suddenly itll all get too much and youll be back on square one. and thats ok. you have to keep going, because you left square one before you can do it again

you can stop cutting, and still self harm. i wont pretend that i havent self harmed in the last year - i have. . because sometimes that urge to hurt yourself does get too much, sometimes you feel like you cant help it. but i havent cut myself, i havent used a blade, i havent left a scar. part of recovery is realising that as long as its better or its an improvement, then it is recovering. to scratch instead of cut, to hit instead of scratch, until suddenly you arent breaking your skin anymore. thats part of healing

when is a relapse not a relapse? in the last year, i would say ive self harmed maybe 4 or 5 times (which is incredible considering how i was before). i called it a relapse at first, until i decided i didnt like that. because it isnt a relapse really, it was one off reactions to things happening, not because it was part of my habit. so i called them blips, a small mistake which did not take away my overall progress. see it as a blip thatll happen once, not a relapse.

having a rewards system can really help. i dont mean like going and buying yourself a present every time you dont self harm (although that is good too sometimes, you deserve it). i used marbles in a jar. every day i didnt self harm, i got to put a marble in my jar. but if i did self harm, i had to take them all out and start again. and trust me, you get attached to those marbles pretty damn fast. something like that can be really helpful as an incentive to stop (although i cant claim credit for this idea, it came from a video on instagram, which was found for me by my incredible boyfriend)

relapsing or having a blip does not make you a failure. it shows your strength, it shows your resilliance, and it shows that you are still here. stay here, and keep going, one blip does not take away your progress

noone tells you how much self harming hurts. i know that sounds silly, but when its your habit or you do it regularly, you can become desensitised to the pain, and you can forget. to have a blip, and self harm after a period of being sober - oh my god it hurts, and its often easy to forget that pain. dont forget it. knowing how much it hurts can help to steer you away from it.

please tell someone. i know its scary, but dont suffer alone. that being said, dont put everything on one person, especially if you're young. we're kids, we cant deal with everything. ive dealt with my own self harm, and ive helped to deal with other peoples too. its too much for one person to bare, dont suffer alone but dont make someone else suffer with you. let them support you, and let them help you find someone else who can properly help you

IT IS OK TO WANT ATTENTION! it is ok to want people to notice, and give you sympathy and try and help you. it is ok to want those things!!! try not to let it harm others, you dont want someone to take on too much of your problems, but wanting attention is completely ok and completely normal. you are allowed to want help and sympthy

with that last point in mind, heres your reminder that self harm IS a way of coping. it is an incredibly unhealthy coping mechanism, but it is your way of coping. healing is not just about stopping self harm, it is about finding better ways to deal with your emotions and cope with stress and thingd around you. dont just focus on stopping, try to focus on how you can evolve it into something that helps you

and lastly, everyone finds those helplines and chatwebsites awkward. please use them, they can be so helpful. but. i did not use a helpline, or an online chat. i did get a therapist, towards the end, but for over a year i was on my own. you can stop on your own, it is possible. but you could end up putting to much pressure on yourself or someone else. there is so much help and support waiting for you at the click of a button, dont hesitiate to reach out. if you want to stop, or know you need to, they're there to help you. theres no shame in it. use the help avaliable to you

here are some UK based helplines, although the word document is from another post on tumblr (ive forgotten who the post is by, so if anyone knows please tell me. THE WORD DOCUMENT IS NOT MY OWN WORK, I CANNOT TAKE CREDIT FOR IT)

Alternatives to Self Harm.docx

and last. im really proud of you. you're doing so well, no matter if you self harmed years ago, or you still are right now. you have so many things to keep going for, and i know you can get better. you've got this, i believe in you. stay safe.

[bobiscool95]

Hey everyone that sees this I just want to say how proud I am of @carrotsinnovember ik she's all I ever talk about on here but she deserves the recognition like omg when I first met her she was so shy and had hardly any confidence and now about 2 years later she has so much more confidence and she has just grown as a human and my god she's grown into such a beautiful person I am so so so proud of how far she has come and I just wanted to let everyone else know how proud I am of her. @carrotsinnovember I love you <3

[bobiscool95]

❤️ even tho we have met 💜 ❤️‍🔥💌♥️💓🥰👩‍❤️‍👨🖤

That send a heart emoji game, but it better encompasses the complex feelings between queer mutuals/followers:

❤️~ I’m deeply in love with you even though we’ve never met Irl

🧡~ I have feelings for you but will never tell you that off anon

💛~ We’re just friends… unless?

💚~ I want to be you

💙~ We’re actually just good friends, but I would die for you

💜~ You’re hot and you intimidate me

🩵~ You’re so cool, and I genuinely want to be besties

🤎~Me, you, and a U-Haul?

❣️~ I don’t know if I hate you or if I’m attracted to you

❤️‍🔥~ Oil up

❤️‍🩹~ Please get help

💌~ Why do you live so far away? 😭

💔~ If we were married we’d get divorced in less than a year

🫀~ You make me go feral

♥️~ You’re my type

💘~ I would fight you in a Wendy’s parking lot

💞~ Enemies to lovers?

💗~ I want to start an intense platonic friendship with you

💓~ We would destroy each other

💕~ You’re my dear old friend (homosexual undertones)

💖~ I’m judging you ☕️

🫶~ We’re bros/besties, but if you asked me out, I wouldn’t necessarily say no…

🫰~ I antagonize you because I care <3

😘~ I have a crush on you, AND I want to be you

🥰~ Pay attention to me 🥺

💑~ Let’s be roommates 😉

🤍~ You scare me, and not in a hot way

🩶~ We would not get along

🖤~ I’m outside your window 😀

💟~ I’m afraid of messaging you first

[bobiscool95]

Just wait for tomorrow your better than a 10/10

ARE YOU TODAY’S DATE?

BECAUSE YOURE 10/10

[bobiscool95]

🌹 🍄 🌿 👋 🎧 🍒 🌎 🌶️ 🌻 💐 🍂 ✌️ 🌸🌞 🌚 🌈

Confession time

🌷- you have a super sweet smile

🍄- Let’s hold hands & explore for hours

🌿- you don’t realise how beautiful you are

👋🏻- I wanna be your friend

🎧- you have great taste in music

🍒- you’re such a tease

🌎- why are you so far away?!?!?

🌶- I find you verrrry sexy

🌻- I could talk to you for hours

💐- you’re a total cutie

🍂- I wanna lay in bed and cuddle you

✌🏻- Netflix n chill?

🌸- I think about you a fair bit

🌞- I wanna make out with you

🌚- I’d totally fuck you

💫- I wanna talk to you but i’m too shy

🌈- we have lots in common

☂️-we have nothing in common

💥- you’re really damn annoying

🌧- I find your blog boring

🥀- you’re dead to me

👻- I wish I never met you

[bobiscool95]

Innittt

[bobiscool95]

Please do not send me asks for donations

Here's why:

I have NO money to give you

I'm not a popular enough blog that I will give you any reach

I am a minor, and most of my followers are too

It makes me feel extremely guilty

Seeing pictures of injuries or hospitals etc are triggering for me (which are in most intro posts for this sort of thing)

They are always worded in a way that makes me feel like I am a murderer if I don't donate

It makes me feel uncomfortable

I said I don't want them, and my boundaries should be respected

I can't tell what is a bot and what isn't

I get a lot of spam from this. It is disappointing to see 10 new asks in my inbox just to be the same ask for donations over and over

Please, just respect the fact that I have said this.

[bobiscool95]

Don't start watching it without me >:3

just finished season threee of heartstoppers bells (help me) @carrotsinnovember AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[bobiscool95]

For you all of them but the 3rd one not in a platonic way :3

other ask games are too sexual or romantic and i dont like that so im making my own, bitch

🫂 - i wanna hug you

🧠- i love hearing you talk. you should ramble to me more often

🫀- i love you in a deeply concerning platonic way

💿- i wanna listen to music with you in a treehouse in a summer night

🌷- i wanna shittalk people with you and just be haters together. it would be fun

🪻- you are so so cool and awesome oh my god

🌻- im proud of you

🍄- you didn't deserve what happened to you

🌵- you could stab me and i wouldnt mind as long as its you

💧- you are an important presence in my life

🍬- id go to a candy store with you and steal all the candy

🕹️- i wanna go to an arcade with you

🕰️- ill love you until the end of time, dear friend

🥊- id beat someone up with you

🌑- you worry me sometimes. just remember im here if you ever wanna talk about anything <2

♟️- you, me, board games.

🍁- im so glad you're my friend

🐚- our souls are linked in ways i cant put to words

[bobiscool95]

Reblog if you have the best mutuals.

[bobiscool95]

Heheh

happy @bobiscool95 appreciation day everyone!!!

[bobiscool95]

It is aswell

sneaking in a quick snog before being called to dinner