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[bobosbillionsknives]

AUTISTIC TRIGUN IS SO REAL AND TRUE I WILL SCREAM IT FROM THE ROOFTOPS !!!!!!!!!!!!

HORAAAYYY !!! I'm so glad I've been any kind of influence at all. This is too sweet :'D !!! ahhh !! <3<3

I do have some thoughts about the masking in particular tho..🤔

I see it less as Knives actively accepting his autistic traits, and more as him not being able to control them. He desperately craves control over himself. He's even been shown as self-critical of his past outbursts, referring to it as a "sin". I thought this scene was very interesting, especially with how much Knives is projecting here. "Without self control" "unable to think of anything but themselves"

sounds like someone we know, girl. ✋🙄

100% agree that Vash was the favorite child tho. Lol. Vash and Knives had very different needs as children, and Rem was way more equipped to help Vash. I actually headcanon kid Vash as very shy and reserved, wanting to always follow the rules. While Knives was very loud, outgoing, and opinionated. Knives' meltdowns have always been explosive, I don't think he'd have much of an outlet outside of violence, and Rem definitely didn't have the experience to give him the tools that he needed. Rem really did love him, but that preferential treatment for sure caused him to feel very unloved and isolated. He hates feeling like a burden, (Vash is similar in that way) he's afraid he's going to be chewed up and spit back out if he's not useful enough. "Do you think i'll be eaten some day?"

He grew to resent Vash for his ability to control himself. To mask and be "normal." For being easier to love. He is SO jealous of Vash it's not even funny. He's losing the idgaf war so badly. This is why he keeps trying to make Vash lash out at him (like in July). It's a petty attempt to get him to understand Knives' suffering first hand. He self victimizes so bad y'all. When he sends the Gung ho guns after Vash, he seems to have no worry of his safety at all. Likely cause he sees Vash as such a perfect angel golden child, any pain actually inflicted is because Vash let it happen. He has the utmost faith in Vashes ability to fight, and is very quick to blame Vash for getting hurt in the fights that HE caused. He probably doesn't think Vash struggles in life at all. That's why he's compelled to make him suffer. (Not that any of these thoughts are very conscious, just deeply rooted insecurities he picked up from childhood. Lol.) Knives feels so fundamentally broken, unlovable, and alienated that he's essentially made it his entire personality. His superiority complex is just as much of a mask as Vashes smile. They do it to protect themselves.

Also. The Vash internalized ableism point is SOOOO true and correct☝️. Vash is completely numb. He's dissociative, and doesn't even remember half of his own life or likely his childhood. He continues to mask because it's all he knows. The only coping mechanism he's used his whole life, it's comforting now. He doesn't really know who he is outside of that mask and he definitely doesn't want to find out. He's terrified of losing control and hurting someone. He's scared of ending up like Knives. To go back to the childhood headcanons for a sec, I think in a way, they were both neglected. Because of how much more attention Knives needed to mitigate his meltdowns, Vashes needs were essentially ignored. He learned at an early age that his problems were not as important. He learned to completely depend on himself and value others as inherently above him. He loved Rem, the last thing he wanted was for her to be any more overworked. So he did whatever she said, never complained, and everyone assumed he was fine. He doesn't need help like Knives does. Knives can't take care of himself like Vash can. He felt solely responsible for Knives when Rem was gone, and crushingly guilty for (rightfully) leaving him, "don't leave Knives on his own." He does view Knives as a burden, and that makes him feel even guiltier. But this would also make Vash feel pretty entitled, I'm suffering too. But I don't bitch about it. What's his excuse?

There's a lot of disabilities that could be read into with Knives specifically, I even project my own experiences with physical disability onto him !! Knives is weaker than Vash is, both in plant powers and probably in general tbh. Knives is definitely the one getting noogied in the sibling fights. (Also why he chopped his arm off...even the playing field a bit lmfao.) Theres no way Knives had any clue Vash was going to blast an entire city and half of his body with it. If Knives was capable of leveling entire cities, he would've done it by now. All the displays of his power are more of a flashy "don't get close I'm dangerous I'll get ya" message than anything world ending. He's just not strong enough. He uses his big brain a lot more for that stuff, like taking all the plants away so the humans starve lol. I headcanon Knives as pretty sickly in general, what with his fainting spells and what not. I feel like Knives' insecurities are his absolute biggest motivator.

Knives has always deeply craved acceptance. But he's convinced himself that he'll never get it. So he lashes out instead, letting his emotions consume him, because that's all he knows how to do.

Trigun is a very autism media to me. The twins themselves are full of amazing metaphors for autism!!

The plants wings are a physical metaphor for autism! To me Rem’s and other humans fear of seeing Vash’s overtly autistic traits is shown in their reactions to his wings. We see Knives isn’t afraid of showing off his plant powers ever. The twins have a very cool dichotomy about masking. I see Vash was favored because he masked, while Knives never cared to.

When Vash and Knives see Tesla Rem goes to comfort Vash first. This seems to be slightly on favoritism, but also because she’s shocked that Vash is having a large emotional reaction. I think the fandom sees Vash as hyper-emotinal and Knives as hypo-emotional, but to me it’s switched.

Knives does not hide his emotions. And absolutely does not hide his outbursts! He has meltdowns all the time and is not ashamed of his autistic traits. He doesn’t care about being unsettling or being accepted by humans/neurotypical society. (Even more interesting to consider that all of the Gung-Ho Guns are disabled/neurodiverse in some way). Knives allows his emotions to control him, where Vash is guided by his obligations. He does what he wants, based on his wants. And what he wants is to be with the only other autistic person he knows-his brother. He also desperately wants his brother to be free from his internalized ableism and the pain of masking.

Vash on the otherhand spends all his time masking and denying his autistic traits so he can fit in with “normal“ humans. He also again, in contrast to Knives, acts based on how his mother told him to behave. He hates acting out/standing out. He still operates on Rem’s instructions to be “normal“ and unnoticeable. He does occasionally show strong emotions but they’re not his positive emotions. To be these are less examples of Vash being over emotional, but instead are examples of outbursts. The overflow of negative emotions reminds me of my meltdowns! As well most of the emotions we do see Vash show are also parts of his masking. They are deeply constructed displays of emotion. All set to Vash‘s derived sense of what’s normal. It’s what he thinks positive emotions look like. His mask is baked into everything he does. And only one person sees through it-Wolfwood!!

Wolfwood is also set apart by the narrative. He has been modified. In my view this is the story portraying that Wolfwood is also neurodivergent in some way. He is capable of seeing through Vash‘s mask, and from Vash‘s reaction is the first one to call him out on it. He also goes from being afraid of Vash‘s autistic traits-his wings-to supporting him. His last words are him encouraging Vash to express his emotions genuinely(to not worry about his “unsettling“ autism smile).

Trigun as a media deals to deeply with disability and autism(if someone remind me I’ll make another little essay thing about Meryl and Milly‘s autism). I hope this is coherent!!

Anyways! Happy Autism Month!!

[bobosbillionsknives]

Millions must waste their lives chasing after an unattainable delusioned reality

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mama's boy

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support womens wrongs

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// Trigun Archives Book Artwork //

Trigun and Nightow Archives Collection

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Family business

[bobosbillionsknives]

finished trimax too so sketch collection yippee. my favorite gung-ho gun is elendira by far and all i truly care about is all the women + SEEDS family drama. subscribe now for my “jokes” about how i heard some vague things about the twins backstory before getting into trigun and expected them to be like kuja zidane and mikoto ffix but theyre actually like the perfect reverse i love it

[bobosbillionsknives]

i think i really perfected the shit twins in these sketches from right after finishing 98 before getting anywhere in maximum

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hi guys i finally finished a trigun amv i started (pushes aside the four unfinished ones)

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vash is like a beautiful goth girl to me if a beautiful goth girl was also a transmasc plant

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A selection of my favorite Vash the Stampede-themed backgrounds from MiniTokyo.

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I've had Theophobia by ROAR on loop in my brain with images of Knives for days now and I needed to beam some of it out or I was gonna explode ok thanks

[bobosbillionsknives]

Nooooo don't cope with the sudden annihilation of the implicit trust that you built your sense of identity and belonging around by chasing after an impossible goal of absolute control over your life!!! your so silly aha.......

[bobosbillionsknives]

redraw of my new worstie

[bobosbillionsknives]

I know people say Rem's name comes from rem sleep cuz of the cold sleep on the ships and stuff, and I really liked that interpretation.

But I always thought it stood for REM-ember, because of Vashes attempts to keep her alive in his memory by unquestioningly following her ideology (or at least his childhood interpretation of it)

[bobosbillionsknives]

The panel of Rem in a messy bedroom after Alex’s death and her talk with Vash has me wrecked. The subtle and not so subtle messaging. Ooof.

[bobosbillionsknives]

Useless enemy of the state millions knives needs to grow up and get a job.