boidoula

[boidoula]

this is what happens when i’m playing on the internet instead of doing my homework, and going to sleep like i have some damn sense. @femme_n_blk challenged me with a riddle, and i got it wrong. so as per the rules, she got to choose a photo for me to repost. and bc i’m a good sport even when i lose, i’m doing it. . i think it’s funny that this is the one she chose. 1. bc i posted this during a previous mercury in retrograde. and although mercury was mostly gentle with me this time, this is still often how i feel about mercury retrogrades. 2. this is how i feel about the correct answer to the riddle, which is just stupid. 3. this is how i felt this morning after i stayed up late playing with my friends, and still had to get up at 5:30am. . i’m not posting the riddle bc it’s just not worth it, and i’m doing myself and y’all a favor. #thisboislife #thatswhatigetforfoolingaroundontheinternet #nexttimesaynotostupidriddles (at Tulum, Quintana Roo) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bvmi2g6BzgRVP_dQl-6iBMUoMeYFjnkH4fJDHs0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=18mu0jul4bnt5

[boidoula]

it’s been a real journey. i’ve had moments of feeling like spirit was just determined to kick my ass at every turn, and moments of the most beautiful blessings. that’s life. yesterday i turned 45 (i know, black don’t crack 🤷🏾‍♂️). i am grateful for all that i have learned, and received in this lifetime. i hope i’ve done my work to break the karmic patterns and learn these soul lessons, so that the next time i come here i’ll be ret to go. until then i’m looking forward to what the next 45 rotations will bring, and i plan on enjoying every moment, even when it’s hard. 🙏🏾💜 #thisboislife (at Oakland, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bt3lCIehV3_7IVNSQEzBg315q-dic6mouu6dXc0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=h7xxvr8l3nfw

[boidoula]

happy day after my birthday y’all! feeling blessed, grateful, and ready. 💜🦋✨ [ID: pictures of rhiana in a sparkly dress and wearing sparkle sunglasses. text above says: “when you spent all of 2018 facing your shadow self, healing past trauma, and taking out the garbage that stank up your life. you in 2019:”. text inside image says: “if you not lit from the inside, keep walking friend”.] (at Oakland, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bt3kd8QhKcufu0tK21zDV9_RTU-2Yk7xnzhzaE0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1u04i6k70x83y

[boidoula]

my first post of 2019. it’s already been an adventure. i don’t even know how to articulate it all just yet. this pretty much describes what i’m over here quietly doing though. it’s a 9 year for me in numerology. all about completion, closing, clearing, and letting go. how exciting. and sometimes terrifying. mostly exciting though. so you’ll still be hearing from me, however, probably less than before. my full time job of healing myself takes up a lot of my time, and i’m a commitment to letting it. #gratefulforitall #thisboislife [ID: text reads: what you’ve been up to? Just redesigning my DNA. Freeing self of ancestral trauma. Mastering my soul lessons. You know, cultivating space for the abundance flow that i am. Grateful for it all.] (at Tulum, Quintana Roo) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bsb38tAh8L1HmRE-vaq2lK3zapq6CfmwOMBKEw0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=2zr9t45ch5el

[boidoula]

Brag. Gratitude. Desire Practice 12.10.18 Brag: i recently made a joy list and committed to doing one thing from the list each day. today’s was coloring. my little loves to color. growing up with an artist mom i wasn’t really allowed to scribble or color outside the lines. but now i can do what i want and nobody gets upset or yells. ... Gratitude: i’m learning how to re-parent my little, and give her some of the things she didn’t get the first time around. ... Desire: a pencil sharpener 🤣 ... #BragGratitudeDesirePractice #ThisBoisLife #JesusBeAPencilSharpener #ReparentingMyself #HealingThroughColoring #JoyIsNecessary #SimpleThings ... [ID: coloring book opened to an image of a butterfly. butterfly is partially colored with orange, blue, purple, and black pencil. to the right are 12 colored pencils of various colors. above is empty crayola colored pencil box.] (at Tulum, Quintana Roo) https://www.instagram.com/p/BrOgYz2BI_J6M1Nmk-D6Tdxu0pvurDT0Uefbx40/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=73t47lswoutw

[boidoula]

Brag. Gratitude. Desire Practice 12.8.18 y’all i been over here quietly manifesting my dreams. this energy is potent right now. Brag: i’m being patient with things, myself, and others. and surrendering to not knowing. this is huge for me. as an aquarius i like/need to know things, and i’m not patient. not in an instant gratification kind of way. more of a alright if we gon do this let’s get it moving already kinda way. whoever said patience is a virtue is not an air sign. probably an earth sign with their slow moving asses 🤣 ... Gratitude: for my ancestors and spirit guides, and how the chill my ass out and tell me to sit the fuck down when i need that. ... Desire: to continue building capacity for patience and holding the unknown without anxiety or fear. ... #BragGratitudeDesirePractice #ThisBoisLife #NewMoonManifestations #PatiencePractice #AreWeThereYet #MercuryDirect #SagittariusFireEnergy #LetsDoThis ... [ID: text on white background. says: when manifesting. 1. always stay positive. 2. say it like it’s already done. 3. do not spend time thinking about anything opposite to what you want. 4. meditate on what you want. 5. see it, smell it, feel it, hear it. 6. if it’s real in your brain, it will be real in the physical.] (at Tulum, Quintana Roo) https://www.instagram.com/p/BrJZ3YgBv8SIQXKEKMUN1Bbu1fbVxDZfTLGz7s0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1ceuw48w07ofy

[boidoula]

Brag. Gratitude. Desire 12.2.18 #mood Brag: spent a restful sunday gardening, napping, listening to music and eating. ... Gratitude: for moments of downtime and days where i can just tune out the world. ... Desire: an easeful week with a good balance between work and play. ... #BragGratitudeDesirePractice #ThisBoisLife #EasySundays #AuntieMaxineKnows #SundayMood ... [ID: maxine waters wearing a green blazer standing at a podium speaking. she has her left hand up in a stop gesture.] (at Tulum, Quintana Roo) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bq58CgOBFj0Q5X4zesovO1lqPXBi_VAKK5Ld9I0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=10r5jrthbwuss

[boidoula]

Brag. Gratitude. Desire Challenge Day 30 this one made me laugh out loud bc it’s so fucking true. my birth name is “angele” which means angel in french. so i literally am an angel walking on earth to serve mankind. and still i’ve spent the week dealing with fuck shit from a client saying i’m not doing enough and doing it wrong. so...yea 🤷🏾‍♂️ Brag: i was fired by a client bc i had boundaries, and self respect. and bc i wouldn’t let her treat me like shit, and talk to me all kinds of crazy. ... Gratitude: for the boundaries and self respect i hold for myself, even with clients that are “paying” me. ... Desire: for this person to receive the help and healing that she needs. and for her to realize that she doesn’t get to treat people any o kinda way bc she’s a trauma survivor. ... BragGratitudeDesireChallenge #ThisBoisLife #UmmmYeaNo #YouDontGetToTreatPeopleLikeShit #TraumaIsNotAnExcuse #HaveABlessedDay #NotEnoughMoneyInTheWorld #FuckShitFriday ... [ID: text on white background that says: you can literally be an angel walking on earth to serve mankind and someone will say you’re not doing enough and you’re doing wrong. - maryam hasnaa] (at Tulum, Quintana Roo) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bq02746h_CSj8NL9QanjWlYiGpQ7X2Va1H6si80/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=2wt5bawqbbq7

[boidoula]

Brag. Gratitude. Desire Challenge Day 22 Brag: two years ago today i got to be part of a badass caravan of qt/poc folks that drove over 16 hours from the bay to standing rock. despite the freezing cold, we were determined to answer the call to stand in solidarity with hundreds of indigenous tribes in protecting the sacred water, the land, and the sovereignty of the standing rock sioux tribe. ... Gratitude: for this group of loving badasses. and for all the organizers, healers, warriors, and magic makers that came from all over to stand united as water protectors. and to @___sagas___ for reminding me of this very special time that impacted me deeply. ... Desire: for all indigenous peoples/tribes to have their sovereignty respected, return of stolen lands, and protection of the sacred waters. ... #BragGratitudeDesireChallenge #ThisBoisLife #WaterProtectors #FromTheBayToStandingRock #ReturnStolenLands #IndigenousSovereignty #Family #ItWasSoFuckingCold #BeautifulMemories #SacredWater #SpecialTimes ... [ID: 9 qt/poc people and one small dog, bundled in winter coats, hats, scarves, gloves. smiling and standing/kneeling in front of a white van.] (at Standing Rock Indian Reservation) https://www.instagram.com/p/BqgmZz3hMKvD6zxeV3HooCJFXhlvXL4oFvKPMk0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=wrqwrqcuui7i

[boidoula]

Brag. Gratitude. Desire Challenge Day 21 Brag: i had a lovely first meeting with a potential new client. a friend referred them to me which is my favorite way to receive new clients. ... Gratitude: people who believe in me and my work enough to refer their folks to me. ... Desire: to continue to be trusted in my work, so that people keep my name on their referral list. ... #BragGratitudeDesireChallenge #ThisBoisLife #ReferralsAreSpecial #ILoveMyWork #DoWhatYouLove #MaryamHasnaaBrilliance #DoYouAlways #BeWhoYouAre ... [ID: text on white background that says “the vibration of being who you are and doing what you love is magnetic. you will align everything you need in your life with that energy. - maryam hasnaa” (at Tulum, Quintana Roo) https://www.instagram.com/p/BqdvM-hhkrF8jK9cB2uh5M2UNOs7gzziue4f2s0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=z10epmeo4ee0

[boidoula]

Brag. Gratitude. Desire Challenge Day 19 Brag: i had the honor of being interviewed for an article for teen vogue magazine about transformative justice! teen vogue magazine y’all! https://www.teenvogue.com/story/transformative-justice-explained (link also in bio) ... Gratitude: for the many folks, primarily women of color, that i had the honor of working with for years to develop transformative justice and community accountability models/principles/practices. and for those that have also dedicated their lives to doing this work in their communities and the world. ... Desire: for transformative justice/community accountability models/processes to become more well known and more widely used in seeking accountability and justice for incidents of harm and violence. and for people to realize that there are viable alternatives to the criminal legal system, a system that was never meant to protect us (bipoc, bipocqt communities) or provide real justice for us. ... #BragGratitudeDesireChallenge #ThisBoisLife #TeenVogue #TransformativeJustice #CommunityAccountability #TransformNotRestore #TheCriminalLegalSystemWasntDesignedForUs #NoOneIsDisposable #TransformationIsPossible #DreamAndPracticeTheWorldYouWant #CreativeInterventions #TheBayAreaTransformativeJusticeCollective ... [ID: picture is of a magazine article first page. text on white background that says teenvogue.com at the very top, then says transformative justice explained in the middle. underneath that it says it is a movement based on “the belief that all people are valuable”. under that is the author’s name: kim tran, and the date/time november 15, 2018 7:00 am. at the bottom of image are social media share buttons for email, fb, twitter, and pintrest. a picture of a blue sky with clouds is peaking in at the very bottom.] (at Tulum, Quintana Roo) https://www.instagram.com/p/BqYpj0QBUWekeG1N__fPiFHEeHyW68nTFIhRB80/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1f8t7uf1a7p1p

[boidoula]

Brag. Gratitude. Desire Challenge Day 18 Brag: spent a quiet sunday gardening and napping with this little peanut. ... Gratitude: opportunities to play in the earth and then cuddle up on the couch. ... Desire: many more years of cuddles with this ball of cuteness. ... #BragGratitudeDesireChallenge #ThisBoisLife #AdventuresOfJasperFlyHunter #ItsNotEvenCold #DogBorrito #SundayVibes #HowIsHeSoCute ... [ID: small black, brown and white dog wrapped in a blue blanket. he’s laying on a couch with his head on a blue pillow. only his face/head is showing out of the blanket. behind him is white wall.] (at Tulum, Quintana Roo) https://www.instagram.com/p/BqWMGWth9vUhmaVlIzZ0p98S_Z9wIpYjRAtqgo0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1hhfubycqr3ms

[boidoula]

Brag. Gratitude. Desire Challenge Day 17 Brag: gifted myself a new septum piercing which i’ve wanted for awhile. and although that shit hurt i didn’t die. i did tear up a little which is okay. ... Gratitude: for the ability and freedom to change and decorate my body however i want. and for pain as a reminder that i’m alive and can feel. ... Desire: everyone to have the ability and freedom to control, and do what they want with their own body. ... #BragGratitudeDesireChallenge #ThisBoisLife #NewPeircingWhoDis #PainMakesMeKnowImAlive #ThatShitHurt #BodyFreedom #MyDadWillHateThis #GoodThingIDontCare ... [ID: picture of me, a Black queer boi, with multiple facial and ear piercings. my hair in locs pulled back and shaved on the sides. wearing a grey tank top with a grey and black sports bra underneath.2 black necklace cords and 1 silver chain around my neck. behind me are couch pillows, 2 green and 1 brown/white/blue on the left. and 1 bigger blue pillow on the right. behind those is a white wall.] (at Tulum, Quintana Roo) https://www.instagram.com/p/BqTj3zihPLCt8bP_Hq2whdaMSydgvou83MuxAY0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=9z23b7r9e1bs

[boidoula]

Failure Project Day 15 greetings loves. today is the last day of this challenge for me, however, i didn’t want to just stop without saying why. i am grateful for this challenge because it’s helped me to think about how i/we define failure, and what it really means to fail. so i’ve been in a conversation with myself about what are actual failures, and how are what i/we sometimes name as failures, actually maybe reinforcing ableist and capitalist ways of thinking/being. for example, today i didn’t get my laundry done which has been on my to do list for a week. because instead i chose to rest after my client session, listen to free recordings of a conference on dreaming before they expire, and get a haircut which makes me feel good in my body. so did i “fail” at getting my laundry done, or complete all the tasks on my list? or did i “succeed” at taking care of myself and doing things that bring me joy? or both? 🤔 so i need to take a pause on this challenge to contemplate these things more. also i’m curious how y’all think about and define failure because i don’t just want to keep talking to myself about this 🤣. seriously though, what are your thoughts about failure? how do you define it? what does it mean to you to fail? and while you think about all of that, here is my last post for this challenge: ... 1. i failed to fail enough for a daily challenge about failure 🤣. ... #KingYaaFailureProject #ThisBoisLife #FailureisImportant #WhatDoesItMeanToFail #HowDoYouDefineFailure #ProductivityDoesntEqualWorth #DoesNotGettingSomethingDoneEqualFailure ... [ID: text on white background that says: at some point you literally won’t be able to shrink yourself to fit back into the old spaces, even if you wanted to.”] (at Tulum, Quintana Roo) https://www.instagram.com/p/BqN-vapBiUKzkf9jLf6lgXA6Bt8DM493DFEnhM0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1mgyo95xfdtov

[boidoula]

Brag. Gratitude. Desire Challenge Day 14 Brag: after working on a difficult accountability process i’m facilitating, i took a nap in the sun for resilience and self care. ... Gratitude: naps in the sun as resilience. and all the ways i’m able to care for myself after doing work around trauma. ... Desire: an end to rape culture and sexual assault. ... #BragGratitudeDesireChallenge #ThisBoisLife #EndRapeCulture #NapsAreResilient #SunPlease ... [ID: mural of a multi colored eagle on a green wall. eagle is mostly yellow and green with touches of blue and red in the feathers. there is an yellow and green eye on the wall to the right, surrounded by orange] (at Tulum, Quintana Roo) https://www.instagram.com/p/BqL-ZTCBS2ID5tifQirUVRbBJI8oVA_JzONruE0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=191s8rqs412bo

[boidoula]

Brag. Gratitude. Desire Challenge Day 13 Brag: took the day off to celebrate my mom’s birthday, and only do things that connected me with her and brought me joy. ... Gratitude: my mom and how she loved me so much in the ways that she knew how. Desire: to continue to connect with her as an ancestor. she’s really funny and present with me. and it’s nice to feel her so happy and free. ... #BragGratitudeDesireChallenge #ThisBoisLife #HappyBirthdayMommy #AncestorConnections ... [ID: sun peaking through clouds as it’s about to set over the jungle in tulum mexico. palm tree branches at the right side of picture, green jungle at the bottom] (at Tulum, Quintana Roo) https://www.instagram.com/p/BqJTvQ8hnxbSCAWqxKCiAkhB5SydSBaljjHSDQ0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=8cw5v2ankjw6

[boidoula]

Failure Project Day 12 the last few days have been great. so it’s hard to think about failures. in fact i was having a difficult time actually thinking of any, so i only have two today. ... 1. i failed to breathe, take a moment, and recenter before responding to a text message that triggered me. ... 2. i failed to remember the correct time of a client call. ... #KingYaaFailureProject #ThisBoisLife #IsFailureToFailAFailure ... [ID: a mural painting of a brown girl with long brown hair wearing a yellow dress on a blue wall. there are multicolored butterflies of different sizes on both sides of her.] (at Akumal) https://www.instagram.com/p/BqGxcQZhkWg0v4fHn7-C8oyazi1KYMBisnxkmo0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1x971hx02eqqq