bonkersbon

[bonkersbon]

Life is a mirror

Life is our karma

I do and say what ill get

And I deserve it so

I lie I deserve all the bad that comes with such a decision

Every action has a reaction

I use to live guilt-free when in reality I was just naive to my own reality

Delusional to believe that “happiness,” is something we can obtain just by simply wanting it

Happiness isnt a place or thing

It's a way to be

And not many are

Like I am, we are weak, scared, prideful, in denial, hurt, broken and seek something and nothing is ever good enough because

Happiness comes with your good moral life and karma

That mirror we spoke of

Its real

And what you see in it

Is what you'll get

And the power of mirrors us being able to see anything you put in front of it

Silly face

Scary face

Mad! Happy! Hey ill help someone today

That is the mirror

Your life is nothing more then what you make it and nothing more then what you deserve

You don't deserve anything bad to happen to you but one thing or mirrors and karma do is reflect and align

So if it's all going to poo! Look in that mirror and see why

And your morals, intuition , conscience will help you make decisions to change your life accordingly

I use to hate life or be disappointed in people or things when it was me I was disappointed in

Me doing things

And like I tell four year olds

Every action has a reaction and I’m still coping with learning what self guilt is like

I use to think I was incapable of it until I released you are not living right if you’re not guilty in life

Doesn’t have to mean go cheat and you’re guilty what I mean is doing something before the reaction happens — change cycles and don’t do it

Make Better decisions and actions

And that is how I keep living to stay away from toxic people and situations

I get what I give

I give what I get

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Random rants because I couldn't sleep all night

Insomnia is a bitch

But here it goes (and yes I'm sober just prob crazy🤔)

Teenagers are not TEENS 13 and Adults are not grown adults at 18

It is wild to me that this world expects so much from literal CHILDREN! children

They question why they are trialing kids are adults as early as 12 years old

Because they're making adult decisions and expected to as early as 13

Thirteen is not a damn teen

They're children and no one is treating them so

I used to get offended at the reference “it all starts at home” Or blaming the parents

It isn't 100 on the parents, let's face it! This world and social media now play a massive role in our children's minds and all the medications they're on for this or that

But the problem is the parenting and then society

We're an oxymoron

If you are raising your kids right then, at 13, they're still playing with Barbies and board games and monster trucks and making slime and playing hide and seek

That is what children do

And people are raising their kids so messed up that 12 year old ARE OUT COMMITTING crimes, having the deed and doing things they can't comprehend

They're combative and fight and get abusive with the officers and society as they do at home because of how they're being taught

They're skipping school and not knowing how to make decisions and then end up homeless

The statistics are all there, and history after history, people are repeating the same shit messing up their kids, and now the issue with kids is technology and being overstimulated

Take that technology away and see how long they can sit still

How many kids mimic everything they see

Idolization and profound misconception of what is socially acceptable or morally right. See it on TV. They mimic it

Even hurting others

There are so many hidden agendas everywhere you go

With what people sell wear and advertise

Ten year olds wearing makeup and not believing they are pretty how do they even know to talk like that or be like that

Their innocence is robbed, but parents can play a huge role

They slip away from you and grow up no matter how much you try to shelter or protect them

It'll happen

But a teen is not a teen, and an 18 isn't an adult

Protect your damn kids from this world

Raise them teach them and damn educate them

Protect them, shelter them, and do whatever you must as a parent to raise your kid to be a good kid! And a morally good one, too! Who helps others not be damn delulu babies and filled with weird jealousy and malice — always trying to compete — for what? Your spot quicker to the ultimate destination?

So many parents fail their kids, and they fail them so early on

But what I'm mad at right now is society as a whole expecting kids to grow up too fast and know too much too fast. And then, on top of it, not raising them with proper discipline so when they're “adults,” they're out there tearing up this world. And then you all question why?! I wonder why so many kids out there doing petty crimes then acting out like four-year-olds in the judicial system and getting slaps on the wrist and sent back out for the parents to take no responsibility and blame it on the system

It starts at home

And anyone who believes differently is delusional and can fight me over it

They need to bring back old school butt whoppings and for the love of god ladies and gentleman stop kicking your kids out at 18! They ain't grown

They can't afford to live on their let alone make grown decisions. Let them live at home and push for them to get an education and or an excellent job

Push for kids to help parents more. We don't help elderly and that is because we haven't taught our kids to

We in America kick our kids out at 18 and put our family into nursing homes

Live at home take care of each other and help each other and learn right do right and be right

Be kind

The selfishness and malice and generational dysfunction will always make me mad

And trust me I'm not speaking from a glass house

How I grew up and how I've chose to parent hasnt been a walk in the park

But I communicate

My kids are KIDS, and they have hearts and souls, and feelings beyond what society even gives them time for, and raising good kids in this fucked up world isn't easy. But seeing it all come to shit sucks! Navigating thru it sucks and having to teach my kids about ignoring certain people in life is so sad

To teach them all the dangers and reality is already sad

Why would I want to push them on their own to face that already at only 18

It starts at home, with parenting

Love your kids! And they are kids! Children! Tiny innocent beings with huge imaginations that want love and to discover

We'd have many better people if parenting styles and dysfunction weren't so THERE! Like just why does it even have to be a thing anymore

When will we do better

Abuse or drugs or addiction or mental illness will never be a reason to be a shitty person or a shitty parent, and I fear for my children ever to feel unloved or get hurt by this world, but it'll happen, but why would I actively treat them like an adult or teen way beyond the appropriate time

I just don't understand it anymore and I don't want to

I'm just going to keep mentally fighting to stay strong thru the Bullshit

Cuz parenting with other parents is hard

Adulting with other adults is even harder

[bonkersbon]

Since BEFORE covid, it's made me mad when people are sick and don't tell you until you're already ill. It's normal for them not to tell someone, hey, I woke up sick a day or so ago, or Hey, I'm feeling off today, and warn people. Or people who send their sick kids or toddlers to school like usual. Oh, I have to work so you're going to school sick. Oh, so we all get sick. It's pissed me off since my firstborn! Then came covid, and it makes me even more mad that no one cares. Openly coughing and sick and not giving people a heads up or ruffian it off that they got us sick! Not keeping in consideration, some of us have to keep our partners safe! Mine has terminal cancer, and now I'm sick, and a jackass told me After three days of our family hanging out that they felt “tickles,” or symptoms before we left!

Like, what the hell were you sick BEFORE!? And their typical response is, “I just thought it was my allergies.” no, you daft bitch! Science! You're the most contagious when? As soon as symptoms start or the day before, you silly ass! I can't stand people! Please give us a heads-up so we can decide not to be around you! You don't have to stay home when sick because it's unbelievable how you will anyway! But least for me, the opportunity to be away from you! I'm wearing a mask and dead ass, staying away from people, especially other people's children. Mine have gotten sick significantly less than any kid I've ever met, and I want to keep it that way! Every time other kids have colds, I'll catch it! Immediately! So I'm always Hewitt for them to be around kids! They go months and months without being sick, and then there are other kids I know who are constantly sick

I don't understand it, but cancer and people who don't stay the F away from me when they're sick piss me off more than anything in this world

People Suck on so many levels

And I'm having a hard time accepting the fact that there is nothing I can do about it

I wish I could smack the cold right out of their head

[bonkersbon]

Another year

Another page in my book

This is my story

When one door opens another closes

My heart is still hurting

Anticipatory grief is real

But time is short

And life is still moving

I may feel frozen at times

Like no one is around and I’m drowning with the confusion

But the page of 2024 includes peace

A barn

A horse

And doing something I’ve always put into existence

Sunsets

Horses

This is my year 2024

#bringonthischapter #Fuckcancer #horselife #mountains #keepmealive #ptsd #canceristhedevil #livingeverydaylikeitsyourlast #Cancer #live

[bonkersbon]

If I could of talked to the person who I was 5 years ago,

I’d tell that version of me to slow down

Id tell myself everything will be ok. Stop rushing life

Trust in who you truly are and forgive yourself

I never understood what self love was 5 years ago. But I’d tell myself not to give up

Because you’ll get there (I did)

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Fuck cancer! So badly🖕🤞🖖🤞🖕🤞🖖

[bonkersbon]

Is the point in this to blog? Make friends? Is it like a social media ? Or what? I seen it very difficult to find the pt because it’s sending me to weird pages of ppl who don’t even seem real. Or hard to find real groups. How are ppl adding friends and real ppl? And having “real,” conversations? Outside of bots or trolls or creeps! I can see this as being a good outlet to vent and blog to write about things we enjoy etc., is that the point? Tumblr has been out for so long yet I’m not understanding the point in it. Maybe I’m too old for this site to understand it

[bonkersbon]

4:00am seems to be my go-to time to be online! Hm. Guess it’s better than 3am!

An hour before I have to physically be out of bed! Another blessed day 💜

[bonkersbon]

Why do I feel like an idiot for this being my first time EVER using this! I have no idea what I’m doing y’all! 🤪🤭👀😜

Anyone care to tell me the point ? I can’t find any real ppl or groups so I’m not sure what I’m doing…..