boogersandslime

[boogersandslime]

May 2024

Currently in a 5-year relationship.

Currently working as a Customer Care Representative for a property management company based in Chicago. Working hours are 9am-6pm CST. Started last March 13, 2023.

Casual hangouts with old co-workers.

Occasional meet-ups with high school friends.

Slowly stretching my ears. Currently at 9.5mm. The goal is 20mm or 13/16". Edrei's is currently at 28mm which is disgustingly gnarly.

We're at 8 dogs - Coco, Scamp, Teddy, Jump, Bootsie, Happy, Cow, and Chicken.

Saving up for a Dumaguete Trip with friends in August and Coron trip with family and boyfriends in September.

Aside from the ear-stretching goal, I'm planning on taking a bi-lingual course and hopefully upskill that way. I just need the motivation and discipline. I can't imagine going to classes while working. I need my sleep. I've burnt myself out while I was in school that I don't have the energy to do multiple jobs anymore.

I'm not as happy as I hoped I'd be.

But I'm doing okay. Better than before, financially. Still kinda bored and unhappy, emotionally.

The butterflies in my stomach were long gone and I'm trying to fool myself into thinking that stable and healthy relationships are boring compared to toxic ones.

But I can't stop feeling like I know this one's gonna end too. I just don't know when yet.

Pretty sure when it happens, I'll write about it.

[boogersandslime]

[boogersandslime]

New Year

Started the year by giving in and taking a risk in letting someone in my life.

To be fair, he asked me to be his girlfriend around mid April last year and I got around to saying yes last January 6.

Aside from his attempts to cut down on the smoking, he hasn’t changed much. He still hasn’t written a long prose on how much he loves me, he enjoys the little victories he gets from the small nonsensical arguments we have, he’s always perpetually hungry, he tries (and fails) at guessing if he made me feel romantically excited with his words and gestures and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

We’ve only been a month into the relationship but I guess fate has it’s way of checking if he was the real deal or not.

I can’t fully disclose what happened but I’m glad we’re forging on.

[boogersandslime]

Me, my fear of getting pregnant and my best friend's deluded sense of me having my shit together. The year's almost over and although I am happy to be detached from the physically, mentally and emotionally draining Front Office work I was in last year, I think I've taken way too much time being blank and unproductive. I don't know. Being an emotional support to my sister and to a depressed friend for almost three months wore me out. Coming home and trying to regain control with my emotions and goals got me ....spacing out and unmotivated. And although I'm slightly happy that somebody has taken an interest in me and is on the same page with what I think is a good foundation for a great relationship, I can't help but think it's not enough. I can't tell how much he likes me. I can't tell how serious he is. And I'm giving him the same mixed signals as well which is probably why I deserve all this. I should probably get around to telling him how I really feel but I want him to say it first. I've been through one hell of a relationship where I fell for sweet words and long ass paragraphs about how I'm appreciated. It hurt when I looked back on saved text messages knowing how much of a fool I was to even believe them. Don't date a writer. They can hurt you without even trying. This guy sucks at words and is not the poetic type. As much as I appreciate hearing/reading professions of love through the English language, I'd rather have him speak to me in Bisaya and get the words out clumsily; like a badly written essay that needs a crap ton of proofreading. If there's one thing I like about him is that he trusts me. My gut tells me that he does and I trust him as much back that I don't feel like I'm about to get dropped off at the curb at any moment (unlike last time...). I don't feel like I'm walking on eggshells whenever I'm around him. I could be wrong and I could be bringing myself into another messy relationship but I'll never know until I let my guard down. Wish me luck.

[boogersandslime]

[boogersandslime]

[boogersandslime]

by Hot Paper Comics

[boogersandslime]

Does my happiness even matter?

[boogersandslime]

Subtweeting because I suck at confrontations.

Dios mio, Zena. It's like you never graduated high school.

[boogersandslime]

Bring Me The Horizon - Oh No

Follow me for more lyrics like this!

[boogersandslime]

Boy

Do you even know what you're getting yourself into?

[boogersandslime]

Just some things I shouldn't forget. I tell Saisai about these things because she's somebody I know who has/had issues regarding body image, eating and weight. She's somebody who I look up to when it comes to fashion, skin care, make-up and all things feminine. I've got good friends. I just need to remind myself that I do have a bunch I'd regret not growing old with if I went away too soon.

[boogersandslime]

One day,

I won't feel guilty telling people I don't feel like seeing them.

That I don't want to socialize.

That it's nothing personal.

I just don't feel like being good company.

[boogersandslime]

One day, I'll get around to traveling by myself and seeking inner zen by just being away from people.

I'll take myself out on a vacation.

[boogersandslime]

Hey

Maybe, just maybe

Learn how to deal your own shit for a change.

Thanks.

[boogersandslime]

becoming an adult is essentially having all your friends in different cities and permanently missing someone

[boogersandslime]

It’s so quiet. I wonder where our friends the little kodama went.