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Read in 2023:

Destiny could also be a choice, she realized. To believe or not, to be vulnerable or not, to go all in or not.

THE SOULMATE EQUATION by Christina Lauren ★★★★½

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Read in 2023:

Lily couldn't see anything, couldn't think of anything except maybe this was how she died. I hope Leo finds the money, she thought. I hope he finds it and buys the ranch in my honor and lives there alone with the horses and Nicole. I hope he never fucking gets over me.

SOMETHING WILDER by Christina Lauren ★★★★★

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SHARP OBJECTS; gillian flynn

"you're so hateful." "i learned at your feet."

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Read in 2023:

Even if neither of us ever did anything interesting in our entire lives, it wouldn’t matter. You don’t need to be special or significant to have value. You’re just important, always, and people either see that or they don’t. They either love you, or they don’t.

HIGHLY SUSPICIOUS AND UNFAIRLY CUTE by Talia Hibbert ★★★★

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POSTERS: Emma Carstairs

❝Emma looked at the ocean and felt what she always felt; a mixture of yearning and terror, a desire to throw herself into the green cold that was like the desire to drive too fast, jump too high, leap into battle unarmed.❞

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LITERATURE SERIES: H.P. Lovecraft

“The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents. We live on a placid island of ignorance in the midst of black seas of infinity, and it was not meant that we should voyage far. The sciences, each straining in its own direction, have hitherto harmed us little; but some day the piecing together of dissociated knowledge will open up such terrifying vistas of reality, and of our frightful position therein, that we shall either go mad from the revelation or flee from the light into the peace and safety of a new dark age.” ― H.P. Lovecraft

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Read in 2023:

There are hurts. I feel them all over, like stab wounds: the distance that we both allowed to settle in, ruining what should have been the happiest year of our lives. The ring that makes me feel like a fraud because it’s so huge. As ridiculous as it might sound, in my mind he gave me such a big diamond as a way of saying I love you THIS much!; but how could he have loved me THAT much when we still didn’t completely know each other? When we’d never argued before and didn’t live together and it was such smooth sailing. Way too good to be true.

YOU DESERVE EACH OTHER by Sarah Hogle ★★★★

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Read in 2023:

She is in all of his spaces and all of his thoughts. He contemplates formulas and degrees of rationality and they all turn into her. He thinks about time, which has only recently begun, or at least now feels different. He thinks: the Babylonians were wrong; time is made of her.

ALONE WITH YOU IN THE ETHER by Olivie Blake ★★★★

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LITERATURE SERIES: Edgar Allan Poe

“The boundaries which divide Life from Death are at best shadowy and vague. Who shall say where the one ends, and where the other begins?" ― Edgar Allan Poe

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I know everything. I thought and whispered my way through it all while lying on my own in the dark back then ... Argued my way through every point, down to the last little mark, the last little jot, and I know everything, everything! How sick and tired I was of all this empty talk! I wanted to forget it all and start again, Sonya, and stop wittering! Surely you don't think I went there like some idiot, without a moment's thought? I went there like a man with brains, and that was my downfall! Can't you see that I must have know that if I'd already started asking myself the question, "Do I have a right to power?", then it already meant I didn't. Or that if I asked, "Is a human being a louse?", then man was certainly no louse for me, only for someone to whom the question never occurs, and who sets off without asking questions ... And if I'd already tormented myself for so many days wondering, "Would Napoleon have gone or wouldn't he?", then I obviously knew that I was no Napoleon ... I endured all the agony of the empty talk, Sonya, all of it, and now I just wanted to shake it off. I wanted to kill without casuistry, Sonya, to kill for myself, for myself alone! I didn't want to lie about it, not even to myself! It wasn't to help mother that I killed — nonsense! It wasn't to acquire funds and power that I killed, so as to make myself a benefactor of humanity. Nonsense! I just killed. I killed for myself, for myself alone; and whether I'd become anyone's benefactor or spend my entire life as a spider, catching everyone in my web and sucking out their vital juices, shouldn't have mattered to me one jot at that moment! ... And it wasn't so much money I needed, Sonya, when I killed; not so much money as something else ... I know all this now ... Try to understand: taking that same road again, I might never have repeated the murder. There was something else I needed to find out then, something else was nudging me along: what I needed to find out, and find out quickly, was whether I was a louse, like everyone else, or a human being. Could I take that step or couldn't I? Would I dare to stoop and grab or wouldn't I? Was I a quivering creature or did I have the right...?

— Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoyevsky (tr. Oliver Ready)

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Tell me, my daughters,— Since now we will divest us both of rule, Interest of territory, cares of state,— Which of you shall we say doth love us most?

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book cover redesigns (3/?) ⪢ babel ↳ concepts/themes: paper, light, tower of babel, oxford

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every sapphic book i love → this is how you lose the time war by amal el-mohtar and max gladstone

love is what we have, against time and death, against all the powers ranged to crush us down.

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who could determine what counted as theft when museums and countries and civilisations saw the spoils of conquest as rightfully earned?

— PORTRAIT OF A THIEF by grace d. li

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Read in 2023:

I know you can take of yourself. You've been doing that as long as I've known you. But let me hold your hand while you do it, okay?

LOVELIGHT FARMS by B.K. Borison ★★★½

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AN ABC OF ASOIAF WOMEN: C FOR CERSEI LANNISTER

Cersei is as gentle as King Maegor, as selfless as Aegon the Unworthy, as wise as Mad Aerys. She never forgets a slight, real or imagined. She takes caution for cowardice and dissent for defiance. And she is greedy. Greedy for power, for honor, for love.

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LITERATURE SERIES: Stephen King

“The three types of terror: The Gross-out: the sight of a severed head tumbling down a flight of stairs, it's when the lights go out and something green and slimy splatters against your arm. The Horror: the unnatural, spiders the size of bears, the dead waking up and walking around, it's when the lights go out and something with claws grabs you by the arm. And the last and worse one: Terror, when you come home and notice everything you own had been taken away and replaced by an exact substitute. It's when the lights go out and you feel something behind you, you hear it, you feel its breath against your ear, but when you turn around, there's nothing there." ― Stephen King