bookwhurm

[bookwhurm]

The Midnight Feast by Lucy Foley

I have to begin by letting everyone know I have a complete bias to Anything Lucy Foley as she is one of my favorite authors and I have read every one of her books.

It wasn't until the day my family and I left for our beach trip that we were doing last minute shopping and I saw this book sitting on the shelf by checkout, as if it was fate. I was unaware that Lucy Foley had published another book and was so excited to begin reading it.

I'll post less of a synopsis than I usually do since I'm not even sure where to begin as this book has a lot of time hopping just to let the story unfold in a way where we'd be caught unawares. It is also told in a multi-POV way that I didn't have as much of a problem with.

At first, the time skipping around was quite annoying to me. I wasn't sure where we were in the story line at points and had to keep reading the last chapter to see where in the timeline we left off.

It wasn't until some of the reveals started happening that I understood exactly why she did the time skips as she did. It was the only way to tell the story in the order where the reveals would actually be a surprise. They showed that all these people who we thought were unrelated to each other and to this Manor in the little town of Tome (pronounced Tomb by locals) were actually more connected than even the characters themselves thought.

This book was highly British at points, sometimes needing context clues or a quick internet search to figure out what the hell they were talking about. But I was a bit of an Anglophile as a child (and avid Love Island watcher in College) so I understood more than I thought I would.

I definitely caught myself gasping at more than one reveal - leaving those sitting near me at the time to wonder what I was reading (I explained it all to them with the help of a whiteboard once I was finished reading).

It was a fantastic book. Absolutely everything that I expected from a Lucy Foley novel and more (there was a bit of romance and good news at the end this time). I believe both myself and the characters came out at the end of this book a bit changed (some more than others).

Rating: 10/10

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Under the Whispering Door by TJ Klune

The actual story for this book falls a little short to what I thought the book was going to be about based on the description.

*Spoilers Ahead*

We have our protagonist, Wallace, who started off as a completely self-centered lawyer dick. The stereotypes and all. Who dies and is in complete denial, until he learns what it means to be alive after death with the help of Hugo, Mei, Nelson, and their dog Apollo. Apollo and Nelson teach Wallace what it means to be a ghost (and that you don't stop having a life just because you're dead) while Mei and Hugo teach him to be a better person.

By the end of the book, we meet another side of Hugo. One that admits what an awful person he was as he was alive, that is bisexual, that helps those he cares about (he HAS people he cares about now), and that is in Love with Hugo.

But fate doesn't change just because you're in love. The Manager of all the doors used to cross over pops their bubble of bliss by letting Hugo know he only has a week before he is going to be forced to cross over, something that is usually sacred and a choice.

We see a bit of a backslide in Wallace's attitude, until he finally breaks down and communicates to Hugo what's going on. Of course, it isn't until it's too late that they both confess their love for each other.

Wallace isn't going to stop living, though, just because he's been given a deadline. Here is where the story diverges from where I thought it was going to go. First off, from the book description I thought Wallace was going to go on a worldly adventure to find himself, not a spiritual/emotional one. Secondly, this deadline doesn't come until 2/3 of the way through the book, something I thought that was going to happen in the early stages of the book to propel Wallace into being a better person, not the slow burn "we fix each other" story line.

BUT it was still an amazing, if not a bit slow, read (given my initial expectations).

In his final week, something that's been bothering Wallace is the Husks (people that left the homes that they were meant to stay in until they crossed over out of fear and lost their humanity because of it) and he intends to do something about it. He has an inkling that these Husks aren't actually empty. That their humanity is still there due to an encounter that he had with one of them (Cameron).

He figures out a way to bring Cameron back, through his own self-sacrifice, and is determined to make a deal with the Manager to help all the Husks left to wander alone in the world.

This is where the story gets really sad. Since Wallace untethered himself in order to tether Cameron back into the world, he's been a floating mess that keeps floating higher as his week deadline approaches and he hears the door calling to him louder and more often.

It is at this point that the Manager comes back and they surprisingly strike a deal that Mei and Hugo, Nelson, and Apollo will help bring back the Husks at the expense of Wallace crossing over without a fight.

It's a big teary-eyed goodbye, including literally grabbing on and refusing to let go, before they're all stationed in front of the door. The Manager recognizes how fearless Wallace was in that moment and made a death-altering decision.

He gave Wallace his life back in order to be a Reaper for the Husks.

It was such a good book, one that I would definitely recommend to those that want to feel like they're being hugged and then get gut-punched. Though, I guess TJ Klune's books have always been what I thought to be the closest to English slice-of-life that we would get. Gut-wrenching humanity included.

Rating: 9/10

[bookwhurm]

Days at the Morisaki Bookshop by Satoshi Yagisawa

“…but we stayed like that for a long time, at one end of the big bag, holding each other.”

Days at the Morisaki Bookshop is such a nice slice of life book. There was no insane ending where everything fell into place like building blocks. It was just life and we got to see Takako’s life as it was, not as it should have been. We see her rocky beginning of the relationship with her Uncle and the regulars at the bookshop slowly unfurl into something more familiar.

It was such a relaxing and comforting read. Not quite escapism, it’s just life without its deadlines. I would 100% recommend to anyone looking for a quick and comfy read.

Rating: 5/5

[bookwhurm]

The Sapling Cage by Margaret Killjoy

This is one of my favorite books I have read this year!

I really hope they come out with the rest of the series soon!

I found this book at an event my local bookstore was putting on at a local speakeasy which feels like the correct place to find a book like this. I read "trans witch" and got really excited. I don't identify as trans, but do identify as genderqueer (to myself - unouted) so I was excited to see if the internal machinations of the main character were relatable and I love a good witch story.

This story follows Lorel whose best friend Lane was promised to the Order of the Vine. But Lane wanted to be a knight and Lorel has dreamed of being a witch - to make a difference in the world - to do things that mattered. To help people. So they switch places. Lorel says that she is the one that was promised to the order and Lane goes forth and follows her knightly dreams.

As the story continues, Lorel realizes that learning magic is farther off than she hoped while being worried that the order would find out that she was born a boy. The life of a witch has also become more dangerous as a Duchess vies for more power in the kingdom and will cut down anyone she believes may be in her way. Not to mention the blight that is sucking the life out of whole forests that is being blamed on the witches.

So yeah. Maybe being a witch wasn't everything Lorel hoped it would be.

Spoilers Below The Cut

I love the realism of having people that were not accepting, even in a group that was fairly widely accepting of Lorel being trans. And the fact that there was previously a trans witch that had undergone the spell to transform her parts into the parts she wanted.

BUT I ALSO LOVED THAT LOREL WAS LIKE "I'm a girl no matter what parts I have. I shouldn't have to change my parts to fit what other people believe is what a girl should be."

Gender identity is an extremely personal thing that doesn't have to conform to what everyone believes you should look like. Like being genderqueer or nonbinary means you should be a white fairy being. That's not what everyone looks like who identifies a specific way.

So this book was very affirming for me and my genderqueerness.

I also loved the pacing of the book up to a certain point. As we got closer to the climax, I kept looking at the page count and wondering how the climax would be resolved at the same pace as the rest of the book. And the answer is that it wasn't. It felt rushed, but I loved that their lessons of the power of Words and Action came full circle and helped save the day.

Overall, this book was amazing and well written and mostly well paced and I would recommend this a thousand times over. And I hope to god the rest of the series gets published <3

RATING: 9/10

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Fourth Wing by Rebecca Yarros

Rating: 8/10

I went into this book expecting to hate-read it for how badly a book podcast that I enjoy listening to had roasted it, but I actually found that I enjoyed the characters and the world building and the relationship of the main protagonists.

Even having gone into the book knowing the plot from the podcast, I still found myself wondering HOW we'd get to the next plot point. It wasn't the most eloquent or profound book I've ever read in my life, but it was enjoyable. I kept wondering what Violence would do next. I enjoyed the banter between her and Xaden. I loved the relationships they had with their dragons. I loved Andarna and Tairn's relationship.

I liked the idea of the colleges and the fact that they're older protagonists and not young teens.

Spoilers below the cut.

I loved that her brother was actually alive, all her childhood stories were actually real, and that Xaden was the leader of the revolution. I loved the fact that she ACTUALLY felt betrayed and hurt, but still did the right thing when the time came. I love that her scribe brain made her an even better rider. I loved the manifestation of her powers and the lightning sex.

The podcast described the book as a good book for people who haven't read a book which is a bit pretentious (as all good book podcasts are) and I suppose true. But no one really goes into this book expecting Shakespearean soliloquies. We want a good time. And Rebecca Yarros gave that to us. And she also gave us fantasy EDS. Which was interesting for sure.

I'll also note that I "read" this book using the dramatized audio book, which I feel like smoothed over some of the rockier points of the writing. At some point I did buy the book and tried to read along during the audio, but they just fixed a lot of her disjointed writing and glossed over parts they felt were superfluous which was just fascinating.

[bookwhurm]

Daughter of the Moon Goddess

Rating: DNF (Did Not Finish)

I had so much hope for this book. I got it as a hardback birthday gift when it first came out and I just got around to reading it after the hype is mostly over. I felt like there was a lot of telling, not showing, with the narrative of this novel. She explained the scenery and the clothing with great detail, but the character building was severely lacking. I made it 200 pages into the book and learned nothing about the main character. The developing relationship between the main characters happened during a time skip that was glossed over and now we're just supposed to be invested in them kissing? The author hints at many things to come (unspoken about powers, the eventual big goal of saving her mother, the demon realm where the main character is probably from), but doesn't give enough information for us to be invested. I pushed and dragged through these 200 pages trying to find any reason to keep reading. I even borrowed the audio book to read/listen along for it to move faster and it somehow even dragged at 2x speed. There was no reason to be invested when all the development happens during the time skips (yes. multiple. in the first 200 pages) and we don't even learn much about who the character is or much about the world either. We get a taste of different information, but it's quickly taken away from us to hint at more interesting things to come. But they are not coming quickly enough. I wanted to believe the hype and I'm interested in so many different genres of books, but I prefer fantasy fiction and was very disappointed in this read. I did not finish it and will not be returning to it anytime soon. I may just donate the book and if I wanted to continue it later I'll borrow it from the library. It just doesn't seem like an investment worth keeping.

[bookwhurm]

The Measure by Nikki Erlick

I am absolutely in love with this book and I have never felt like something so sci-fi adjacent (if not just actual sci-fi) tackled the political spectrum in the universe so well since the Ender's Game series. But this book answers all the questions I had about how people would react. What would it mean to receive a box that had the literal measure of your life in the form of an indestructible string in an indestructible box? What would it mean for those you loved? What would it mean for you how you planned your life?

Spoilers Ahead...Probably.

Nikki Erlick is very obviously a writer that is a product of her schooling and I mean this in the best way possible. She took her life experience, the things she learned along the way, and political events that occurred throughout time and made it into her debut book that I'm in love with.

I couldn't stop talking about it to my partner and my best friend and my sister and almost anyone who would listen. She addresses the consequences of the policies and social stigmas in America and how it ripples throughout the world. She also addresses the way America doesn't effect the entire world. Italy, for one.

I've definitely seen some articles and reviews talk about how such a broad story that encompassed multiple characters felt like it never addressed the issue of the strings and how it all felt surface level. I disagree with the way that they interpreted the book. I believe they went into this reading hoping for a different outcome that doesn't remain true to the book. It IS written like a documentary on the strings. But I don't believe we don't get enough about each of the characters and storylines.

She starts off the book with all these characters leading very different lives. She sets the precedent that we'll be sitting back and watching how the strings turn everything upside down. And she did that. She let us get to know these characters - the kinds of people they were before the strings - a son that followed begrudgingly in his family footsteps without so much as an ounce of disobedience in his body, a schoolteacher in love with her fantasies more than real life, and interracial lesbian couple at the beginning of their love story, and a lonely man on the brink of being betrayed.

The way that she weaves the story to let us get to know them and to actively see the slow progression of their lives as their stories become more entangled is beautiful. It's real. It's based in reality. It showcases the struggles of women, people of color, and the LGBTQ+ community in a way that might be easier to swallow for those that haven't considered what that perspective may be like.

I read someone once that the anthropomorphism of animals in cartoons make the characters to more people across cultures, genders, and races. It's easier to project our own feelings onto something that doesn't quite look like any of us and I believe Erlick did a great job of an introductory glance into the lives of marginalized groups for those that may not have experienced those kinds of discrimination before. She showcases the sheer helplessness in being judged for something so out of your control and the sense of community you can find with others that are in the same boat as you.

Erlick also shows the importance of community through trying times. Of connection with your fellow human beings that you might not have even given a perfunctory glance before. The beautiful and entrancing way Erlick weaves these stories together reminds me of the natural and mesmerizing way a whirlpool swirls together.

She presented us with a wonderful thought experiment and followed through with a beautiful story about human nature and community and finding comfort in those around you while you can. How losing someone you love isn't the end of them and that there's more to living a long life than how long your body occupies this planet. If you're looking for a book that displays the world as it is and how to find your way through the life you're living now with the people around you, I would 100% recommend this book. If you're looking for the most in depth character development ever known to man, maybe look for a different book. But if you're more interested in the weaving of a story about the world and a group of people, you will not be disappointed.

Rating: 8.8/10

[bookwhurm]

Xenocide by Orson Scott Card

With the FULL disclaimer that the author has said some unacceptable and heinous things, I’m still going to write about the book (from my phone before I forget to write it at all).

This novel was not my favorite of the series so far. It dragged in some places where it got bogged down with technical jargon to the point where I had to listen to the audiobook while doing something else. But the ideas presented in the book were also too intriguing for me to put the book down and not finish it. At the same time, you could tell it was a setup for the next book with the large amount of exposition within it.

I loved the conversations between the hive queen and the father tree (I can’t actively remember if it was Router or Human) at the beginning of each chapter. It gave us a different point of view from the conversations the humans had with each species. It also brought to light the strengths and weaknesses of the species during these discussions. One of my favorites was when the Hive Queen discussed how humans think so many things in so many different ways and perhaps that makes us brilliant even if only 1 out of every 1000 ideas is good because that’s still more ideas than they can come up with for any given problem. Even though THEIR idea is the correct one all along (which seems to not be true, their memory just changes as information changes). I also liked the perspectives of the species towards each other. Like how the Hive Queen said the pequenino mind is more simple than that of a human.

The introduction of the new planet Path was an interesting choice (again probably more setup for the next book) but also was pivotal in the discoveries made about faster than light travel across the universe and the descolada. It’s a shame that Qing-jao did not have a redemption arc like I thought she was going to. She simply wanted her parents and the Gods love so badly she refused to stray from her ways even after everyone else did.

I feel like everyone else has done justice to the Peter and Young Valentine introductions. There really isn’t much to say that hasn’t been said. Although I’m interested to see what Ender is like in the next book without those parts of his aiúa in him or if they ever go back into him.

Rating: 7/10 It wasn’t bad. It just wasn’t as good as the other books in the series that I’ve read so far.

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Animal Farm by George Orwell

I’m rendered almost speechless by the relevancy of this title in the world we live in today that was written and published 78 years ago. It’s historically relevant and apparently one of the most devastating blows to Stalin’s agenda.

The thing that I fear the most is how it is still applicable in so many ways. It shows the tools that can be used to achieve a totalitarian government. The steps that need to be taken. They almost always form an “other” to be against. What was once the humans who indeed were taking advantage of them, it then became Snowball, then the nearby farmers. Whichever suited their agenda. Whichever kept the animals from turning inward with their suspicion and kept their worries outside of the ruling of the farm. The 7 commandments were constantly altered, but the intelligence of the pigs and the inability for many of the animals to read and write left the interpretation of it’s history entirely up to the pigs instead of the other animals they ruled over. The speeches and persuasive nature of Squealer was convincing propaganda that soothed any fears of the animals while the part of the sheep (this analogy was not lost on me) was to constantly chant whatever nonsense that Napoleon chose at times when protest was most imminent. To drown out whatever dissent was possible and confuse the masses. It’s hard to think over the shouting of short, catchy phrases.

The complete hypocrisy of the pigs to defy all the commandments by the end of the novel was astounding and it took me by surprise that none of the animals showed any dissent, though it’s not hard to imagine why when compared to the  many humans have turned the same blind eye for atrocities committed in their own countries. As an American, some that I can think of in the past decade were the imprisonment and separation of children of immigrants (the camps of children that no American did anything worth noting about, including me), the increase of rage against any and all racial/ethnic groups especially in the era of the Trump administration (starting with his campaigning against Mexican-Americans and how they ruin the country to the eventual physical abuse that happened to older Asian-Americans because of Covid-19), the continual divide in the classes to the point where most Americans only own 7% of the capital of the country combined (don’t quote me on that, this is from memory), and the events leading up to the 2020 protests for Black Lives Matter.

The important thing to take away from this novel is that while one person alone can’t take on the entirety of the system that was inherently built against them, it takes one person to stand up and rally while the support from those that believe in that message is the most integral to change. Groups accomplish change, whether it’s slowly or quickly like the rebellion on the farm. It also is a grim reminder to stick to your own guns and come to your own conclusions. To not base your beliefs only on what you are told and whichever statistics and facts are hand fed to you, but to do your own research from many different sources. To protect your beliefs and ideals even when you’re told otherwise.

Rating: 10/10 - How could it be anything else

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Ruinsong by Julia Ember

A YA novel with an interesting magic system in a woman dominated universe.

I purchased this book as a “blind date with a book” and it was described as:

- Childhood friend to enemies to lovers trope

- Bewitching and emotionally devastating in the best way

- Immersive queer fantasy tale

All of which sounded right up my alley so I obviously purchase it.

Spoilers Ahead:

This novels magic system and kingdom are all woman dominated which is amazing. The magic occurs through singing that is granted specifically by the goddess of summer. There are 4 goddesses for all 4 seasons and they give gifts to children born in their months. I wish this was explored more and could read a whole novel written like a history book on the magic system and their goddesses.

I didn’t realize this was a YA book when I bought it as it was a blind date with a book, but it did say that those on that specific shelf were suitable for those 14+, but I didn’t realize that meant it was really YA. You know how some YA is categorized in bookstores at YA, but is actually more New Adult? I thought it was something like that. I was wrong. It is truly written like a normal YA novel which is not a bad thing. I have just personally moved onto novels written in a different kind of way. With more nuance.

I did appreciate, however, how morally grey Candace is written. She’s just doing the best with what she has, though she doesn’t seem to stop and wonder if there could be more that she could be doing against the evil queen since she is fearful and doesn’t think that anything can be done.

Remi is a noblewoman who doesn’t seem to have empathy for the things that Candace has been through despite supposedly liking her. She things Candace is a coward (understandably so), but doesn’t stop to think about what losing things would mean for Candace, even though I understand how Remi puts her family before everything else, she doesn’t seem to have a lot of stock in actually doing things herself.

Neither of the main characters really drive the revolution at all. It seems as if they hopped on the bandwagon towards the latter part of the book and were given a lot more credit than was due. The development of the romance also didn’t make sense to me. I understand falling in love because of proximity, but there didn’t really seem to be a REASON for them to fall in love. They just kind of did. 

Overall, I did enjoy reading for the magic system and I couldn’t have DNR’d it because I did want to know what happened next, but I do wish it could’ve been fleshed out more and had more nuances. I understand this is YA, however, but that doesn’t mean the writing couldn’t have been improved. The characters descriptions also included race which was refreshing because not knowing exactly what characters looked like always kind of frustrates me when I read and having to read about someone with my skin color described as food colored gets annoying after awhile. Although I do feel like it did nothing but highlight the lack of diversity within the main cast. But I liked the book for what it was.

Rating: 5/10

[bookwhurm]

A Touch of Jen by Beth Morgan

It took me two days to finish this book and it is notably the first of the horror genre that I’ve ever read rather than watched so that will definitely influence how I felt about it.

CW/TW: Eating Disorder, Abusive Relationships

Spoilers Ahead:

The book began as rooted in reality, though a very unhinged reality with obviously neurodivergent main characters. Remy comes off as an abusive and narcissistic boyfriend. He literally wanted to be meaner to his girlfriend while they were waiting for the bus/train/whatever, but chose not to because of the people all around them and he didn’t want to be perceived as a bad boyfriend, even though he was. He only uses people throughout the book for what they can give him. Alicia only meant as much to him for how she cleaned the apartment and could judge people with him. After she died, he seemed to appreciate her more than when she was alive. Similar to how he liked Jen more when she was more of an unreachable fantasy than when he got to know her.

Alicia is also suffering from mental health issues, though my mediocre psych minor didn’t really give me the tools to really dissect the things she was going through. She was previously suffering from bulimia and brings this up in front of Jen and her friends at the beach vacation they all took together, even though this event is her first time meeting them. Big mood and definitely something I’ve done before I got help, but she really was a lonely character clinging to the relationships that she did have in any way she could. It wasn’t until she adopted her Alicia-as-Jen attitude towards the end of the book that she seemed less anxious about messing things up by simply breathing. She suffered an unfortunate death within the book and it really felt like a shit thing to do. I know death in the real world happens without pomp and circumstance. Crazy things happen and suddenly someone is gone. This was portrayed well by Alicia’s death and was pivotal to the eventual murder of Jen and Alicia being brought back in Jen’s body, but it still seemed too quick for me. I personally didn’t like how her death was handled, but understand why it was done the way it was.

Jen was the topic of all of Remy and Alicia’s relationship, going so far as to have Alicia roleplay as Jen, and it was super weird and incredibly obsessive. From their descriptions of her, I didn’t even think of her as all that attractive and her personality was absolutely awful. She was a real character though. All of them were. These were people you could know in your day to day life and I appreciated that about this book and probably this genre. The characters were all unlikeable. That was probably the point, but it was interesting to me since I usually read things that involve more romance, thus the people were usually never THIS awful to each other.

This novel ended with a huge suspension of disbelief. The beginning that was rooted in reality was slowly broken apart by weird occurrences happening throughout the book, but the ending of suddenly all the spiritual nonsense that was being talked about through the book actually being true and the existence of ACTUAL MONSTERS was a lot to happen at once and I was not prepared to accept that it was actually occurring. Especially throughout the end when Alicia is resurrected in Jen’s body.

Overall, I enjoyed the read. I don’t know much about horror novels and that’s probably what threw me off from enjoying it entirely. I wasn’t expecting the ending to include actual monsters from other dimensions.

Rating: 7/10

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I just finished Never Ever Getting Back Together by Sophie Gonzales (at 6:50 in the morning, but so worth it).

This novel has so many parts to relate to. It’s an enemies to lovers slow burn on a reality TV show where the girls are pitted against each other for the chance to date their ex (a new heartthrob on the scene because his sister became princess of a European country). To make matters worse, the ex bf actually cheated on them with each other and has just enough charisma to convince everyone that the girl he cheated on was actually a clingy, jealous liar. Cue extreme anger at the first quarter of the book for everyone gaslighting this poor girl.

The author did such a good job with the disaster bi jokes, the biting sarcasm for the ex, everyone coming to terms with how much of a dickbag this ex bf is, the slow burn of the girls falling for each other and the inevitable bi panic of “does she even like women…? If she likes women does she even like ME?” “She said she likes when women do this thing BUT does this mean she likes it aesthetically or like…sexually?”, dealing with past traumas (Skye does NOT like opening up and boy do I relate super hard - also I may have misread it, but I’m pretty sure she has autism which was unexpected. It was awesome though bc I’ve been consuming more romantic stories with autistic main characters - anything written by Helen Hoang who I LOVE - and they’re just super relatable). There’s also a multicultural cast ALL AROUND which was so refreshing (had a difficult time keeping the accents straight in my head but that’s a me problem) and didn’t take away from the narrative but DEFINITELY ADDED TO IT.

There are amazingly quotable one liners that really were a gut punch. One that I’m definitely paraphrasing is about living your life the way you want to instead of in the fear of being perceived as a failure by everyone. Something like that. It really made me take a deep look into myself.

While the characters are all around 18-21 they don’t push the college narrative as the only way like you usually see in books with main characters around that age group (or at least books that aren’t fantasy?).

Overall, I absolutely enjoyed my read and the rollercoaster of emotions it put me through. It ended absolutely satisfactorily where she did the right thing, got the girl AND revenge was still served (just maybe not in the way you thought it would be).

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It’s 2023 and I started off the year with The Southern Book Club’s Guide to Slaying Vampires.

Can I just say that I am impressed? Grady Hendrix did such a wonderful job weaving together this story of Southern Moms in a book club with absolute taste. The way the topics of race, white privilege, and sexism in the south were all tastefully woven in was amazing. I’m not a mother, but I feel like the mindset of a mother was so well written as well. I feel like I can tell this author has a lot of empathy to be able to get into that role so well.

The frustration at being taken for granted while putting in all this tangible AND invisible work around the house while being ignored and straight up belittled by their husbands was so well written. I was fuming. Mixed in with the racial relationships with the white women being able to turn their backs on little black children getting hurt and going missing as long as it wasn’t happening in THEIR town to THEIR kids bc it’s easier to turn their backs and pretend it’s all okay.