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borderlinepositivity · 6 years ago

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Alternative Coping Mechanisms To Help Avoid Or Reduce Self-Harming

This post is going to be very long so I apologize in advance but it is going to be worth the read. I got this 8 page handout from my psychiatrist so I figured I would share it with you guys. Credit goes to whoever originally came up with this.

Alternatives for when you’re feeling angry or restless:

Scribble on photos of people in magazines

Viciously stab an orange

Throw a pair of socks against the wall

Have a pillow fight with the wall

Scream very loudly

Tear apart newspapers, photos, or magazines

Go to the gym, dance, exercise

Listen to music and sing along loudly

Draw a picture of what is making you angry

Beat up a stuffed bear

Pop bubble rap

Pop balloons

Splatter paint

Scribble on a piece of paper until the whole page is black

Throwing darts at a dartboard

Go for a run

Write your feelings on paper then rip it up

Use stress relievers

Build a fort of pillows and then destroy it

Throw ice cubes at the bathtub wall, at a tree, etc

Brush the fur of a stuffed animal or real animal

Slash an empty plastic soda bottle or a piece of heavy cardboard or an old shirt or sock

Make a soft cloth doll to represent the things you are angry at; cut and tear it instead of yourself

Flatten aluminum cans for recycling, seeing how fast you can go

On a sketch or photo of yourself, mark in red ink what you want to do. Cut and tear the picture.

Break sticks

Cut up fruits

Make yourself as comfortable as possible

Stomp around in heavy shoes

Play handball or tennis

Yell at what you are breaking and tell it why you are angry, hurt, upset, etc.

Buy a cheap plate and decorate it with markers, stickers, cut outs from magazines, words, images, whatever that expresses your pain and sadness and when you are done, smash it. (Please be careful when doing this)

Alternatives that will give you a sensation (other than pain) without harming yourself:

Hold ice in your hands, against your arm, or in your mouth

Run your hands under freezing cold water

Snap a rubber band or hair band against your wrist

Clap your hands until it stings

Wax your legs

Drink freezing cold water

Splash your face with cold water

Put glue on your hands and then peel it off

Massage where you want to hurt yourself

Take a hot shower/bath

Jump up and down to get some sensation in your feet

Write or paint on yourself

Arm wrestle with a friend or family member

Take a cold bath

Bite into a hot pepper

Alternatives that will distract you or take up your time:

Say “I will self-harm in fifteen minutes if I want to” and keep going for periods of fifteen minutes until the urge fades

Color your hair

Count to ten getting louder until you are screaming

Sing on the karaoke machine

Complete something you’ve been putting off

Take up a new hobby

Make a cup of tea

Tell and laugh at jokes

Play solitaire

Count up to 500

Surf the net

Make as many words out of your full name as possible

Count ceiling tiles or lights

Search ridiculous things on the web

Color coordinate your wardrobe

Play with toys, such as a slinky

Go to the park and play on the swings

Call up an old friend

Do school work

Play a music instrument

Watch TV or a movie

Paint your nails

Alphabetize your CDs or books

Cook

Make origami to occupy your hands

Dress up and try on old clothes

Doodle on sheets of paper

Play computer games or painting programs, such as photoshop.

Write out lyrics to your favorite song

Play a sport

Read a book/magazine

Do a crossword

Draw a comic strip

Make a chain link out of paper counting the hours or days you’ve been self-harm free using pretty colored paper

Knit, sew, or make a necklace

Hunt for things on eBay or Amazon

Go shopping

Memorize a poem with meaning

Learn to swear in another language

Look up words in a dictionary

Play hide-and-seek with your siblings

Go outside and watch the clouds roll by

Plan a party

Find out if any concerts will be in your area

Make your own dance routine

Trace your hand on a piece of paper; on your thumb, write something you like to look at; on your index finger, write something you like to touch; on your middle finger, write your favorite scent; on your ring finger, write something you like the taste of; on your pinky finger, write something you like to listen to; on your palm, write something you like about yourself

Plan regular activities for your mot difficult time of day

Finish homework before it’s due

Take break from mental processing

Notice black and white thinking

Get out on your own, get away from the stress

Go on YouTube

Make a scrapbook

Color in a picture or coloring book

Make a phone list of people you can call for support. Allow yourself to use it.

Pay attention to your breathing. (breath slowly, in through your nose and out through your mouth)

Pay attention to the rhythmic motions of your body (walking, stretching, etc.)

Choose a random object and try to list 30 different uses for it

Pick a subject and research it on the web - alternatively, pick something to research and then keep clicking on links, trying to get as far away from the original topic as you can

Take a small step towards a goal you have

Alternatives that are completely bizarre. At the least, you’ll have a laugh:

Crawl on all fours and bark like a dog or another animal

Run around outside screaming

Laugh for no reason whatsoever

Make funny faces in a mirror

Without turning orange, self-tan

Pluck your eyebrows

Put faces on apples, oranges, other sorts of food

Go to the zoo and name all of the animals

Color on the walls

Blow bubbles

Pull weeds in the garden

Alternatives for when you’re feeling guilty, sad, or lonely:

Congratulate yourself on each minute you go without self-harming

Draw or paint

Look at the sky

Instead of punishing yourself by self-harming, punish yourself by not self-harming

Call a friend and ask for company

Buy a cuddly toy

Give someone a hug with a smile

Put a face mask on

Watch a favorite TV show or movie

Eat something ridiculously sweet

Remember a happy moment and relive it for awhile in your heard

Treat yourself to some chocolate

Try to imagine the future and plan things you want to do

Look at things that are special to you

Compliment someone else

Make sculptures

Watch fish

Let yourself cry

Play with a pet

Have or give a massage

Imagine yourself living in a perfect home and describe it in your mind

If you’re religious, read the bible or pray

Light a candle and watch the flame (but please be careful)

Go chat in a chat room

Allow yourself to cry; crying is a healthy release of emotions

Accept a gift from a friend

Carry tokens to remind you of peaceful comforting things/people

Take a hot bath with bath oil or bubbles

Curl up under a comforter with hot cocoa and good book

Make a tray of special treats and tuck yourself into bed with and watch TV or read

Alternatives for when you’re feeling panicky or scared:

“See, hear and feel” - 5 things, then 4, then 3, and count down to one which make you focus on your surroundings and will calm you down

Listen to soothing music; have a CD with motivational songs that you can listen to

Meditate or do yoga

Name all your soft toys

Do a “reality check list” - write down all the things you can list about where you are now

With permission, give someone a hug

Drink herbal tea

Crunch ice

Hug a tree

Go for a walk if it’s safe to do so

Feel your pulse to prove you’re alive

Go outside attempt to catch butterflies

Put your feet firmly on the floor

Accept where you are in the process. Beating yourself u p, only makes it worse

Touch something familiar/ safe. Leave the room.

Lay on your back comfortably (eyes closed), and breathe in for 4, hold for 2, out for 4, hold for 2. Make sure to fill your belly up with air, not your chest.

Give yourself permission to….(Keep it safe)

Alternatives that will hopefully make you think twice about harming yourself:

Think about how you don’t want scars

Treat yourself nicely

Remember that you don’t have to hurt yourself just because you’re thinking about self-harm

Create a safe place to go

Acknowledge that self-harm is harmful behavior: say “I want to hurt myself” rather than “I want to cut (or anything else)”

Repeat to yourself “I don’t deserve to be hurt” even if you don’t believe it

Remember that you always have the choice not to cut: it’s up to you what you do

Think about how you may feel guilty after self-harming

Remind yourself that the urge to self-harm is impulsive: you will only feel like self-harming for short bursts of time

Avoid temptation

Get your friends to make you friendship bracelets: wear them around your wrists to remind you of them when you want to cut

Be with other people

Make your own list of thing to do instead of self-harm

Make a list of your positive character traits

Put a Band-Aid on the area where you’d like to self-harm

Recognize and acknowledge the choices you have NOW

Pay attention to the changes needed to make you feel safe

Notice “choices” versus “dilemmas”

Lose the “should-could-have-to” words. Try…. “What if”

Kiss the places you want to SH or kiss the places you have healing wounds. It can be a reminder that you about yourself and that you don’t want this

Choose your way of thinking, try to resist following old thinking patterns

The Butterfly project - draw a butterfly on the place(s) that you would self-harm and if the butterfly fades without self-harming, it means it has lived and flown away, given a sense of achievement. Whereas if you do self-harm with the butterfly there; you will have to wash it off. If that does happen, you can start again by drawing a new one on. You can name the butterfly after someone you love

Write the name of a loved one, or anyone else who cares about you where you want to self-harm. When you go to self harm remember how much they care and wouldn’t want you to harm yourself

Think about what you would say to a friend who was struggling with the same things you are and try to be a good friend to yourself

Make a bracelet out of duct tape, and put lines on it every day you go without self-harm. When it’s full of lines, take it off and make a chain out of all the bracelets and hang it up somewhere where you can be reminded of your great progress

Alternatives that give the illusion of seeing something similar to blood:

Draw on yourself with a red pen or body paint, or go to a site such as this where you ‘cut’ the screen (be aware that some people may find this triggering, so view with caution)

Cover yourself with plasters where you want to self-harm

Give yourself a henna or fake tattoo

Draw on the areas you want to self-harm using ice

Alternatives to help you sort through your feelings:

Phone a friend and talk to them

Make a collage of how you feel

Negotiate with yourself

Identify what is hurting so bad you need to express it in this way

Write your feelings in a diary

Free write

Make lists of everything such as blessings in your life

Make a notebook of song lyrics that you can relate to

Call a hotline

Write a letter to someone telling them how you feel (but you don’t have to send it if you don’t want to)

Start a grateful journal where everyday you write down three: good things that happened/ things that you accomplished/ are grateful for/ made you smile. Make sure the journal is strictly positive things. Then when you feel down you can go back and look at it

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