bpd-will-kill-me

[bpd-will-kill-me]

[bpd-will-kill-me]

I can't do anything right so prolly killing myself tonight

[bpd-will-kill-me]

Just a reminder

If you're "pro ana" and you pressure someone into anorexia or glorify it, I hope you fucking die, because you're a disgusting piece of shit.

[bpd-will-kill-me]

October 19th, 2017, 9:37 P.M.

Haven't updated this is a long while. Haven't cared enough to update it but this is significant enough. My dad left today. My mom kicked him out because she's a bitch. He happily left. Ive treated him like shit since 6th grade. He deserves better. I genuinely love him. I don't deserve him though. Yeah, he wasn't a good dad for a while. He hit me, verbally abused me.but he changed. He worked through it. My mom and I treated him like a fucking dog. But Ive beated him twice. Literally beated. I fucking hate myself. I'm worried he's going to hurt himself. I fucked up so bad. I rucking hate me.

[bpd-will-kill-me]

If she leaves me I'll die. Simple as that. It won't be her fault. I don't want to force her to stay.

[bpd-will-kill-me]

August 12th, 2017, 3:47 A.M

The thought of my FP with this girl that still likes them makes me sick to the stomach. She still loves you. How do you not see it? It makes me angry. It makes me feel guilty. I trust you, so why should I feel this way? Please don’t let her touch you. Please don’t let her feel your body and grab your hips. Plrase let me dance with you tomorrow, don’t let her ask you to the first dance. I love you so much, so please don’t hurt me. How could she go from drawing you, buying you flowers, and harassing you every day about how much she loves you, to not loving you at all? How can you forgive her for hanging out and befriending the people who hurt you and me? Remember how those people made me attempt suicide multiple times? Remember when she didn’t speak to us for weeks after we told her we were dating? Remember how she told us she understands K’s point of view? When I see you putting you head on her shoulder it hurts. When I don’t get a text back for hours, knowing your with her, it hurts. It makes me cry. It makes me punch myself and the walls until I bleed. It makes me snip my skin away on my arms. It makes me break into pieces. I trust you, but I don’t trust her. I love you more than anything. I feel like I’m being manipulative, but she’s been so shitty and if the roles were reversed I think you’d feel the same way. I miss you so much. I haven’t seen you for days, so I’m glas I get to see you today. I hope you genuinely want to see me today.

[bpd-will-kill-me]

August 11th, 2017, 9:57 P.M

I haven’t been this awful in a long time. I feel awful. I started self harming again today after being clean for months. School is right around the corner. My fp/s.o hasn’t been texting me back today even though they’ve posted things on their Snapchat story. They’ve called me once for a few minutes but other than that, nothing. They promised to text me when they hung up, but it's been hours. I even texted them. They’re at a practice thingy for a wedding but they’ve been active on things, plus they've said everyone has been chilling for a few hours now. They’re with someone who has liked them for a long time and posted a picture with then resting their head on the person’s shoulder. My fp would never cheat on me, but it hurts. I’m hurting.

[bpd-will-kill-me]

Newblog.

I don’t really expect to get any traffic here. I’ll reblog things here and post things here relating to my mental illnesses. If you need anything tagged, send me an ask.