bpdaze-blog

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I'm probably not meant to be on tumblr bc it's being so negative for me recently but I'm in hospital atm idk

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I'm sorry I don't post very often on here. I just want y'all to know I'll always have your backs and if you need to talk let me know. I try not to post too much negativity on here because I want to be a positive influence on those around me. At the moment tumblr is a really negative place for me & I'm getting to a really bad and dark point, so I'm going to take a break. This may not mean much considering how rarely I post anyways. Sorry. I'm really struggling at the moment. I love you all though & I'm forever sending positivity to you & hoping your days are peaceful and full of joy. Sorry if I'm not here for a while.

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not sure. about anything. shit.

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when you're sorta steady for a while and then your mood just ¡drops! out of nowhere

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this is a poem i wrote with some little pieces of film! please give it a look and let me know if you like it! <3

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If you’re happy in a dream, does that count?

Arundhati Roy, The God of Small Things (via wordsnquotes)

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I also dk why so many people now follow me but I just want y'all to know that I love you so much and I'm constantly sending positive vibes your way and hoping something good happens for all of you

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I talk shit about how I hate my birthday so much but when it comes down to it I just want attention n love and also it's my birthday

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I hate hate hate! how badly I take criticism. people can offer criticism that's meant to be ~helpful~ and I freak and I can feel my chest tightening and I hate it

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outside judgement of bpd is so hurtful it's so easy to call someone crazy but so so difficult to understand constantly feeling everything so intensely and not knowing how to cope with that. and being stuck by the fear that everyone you love will never love you as much, and thinking the only way to get over that is sabotage relationships or lash out at yourself. and having actual professionals tell you that you need treatment but you're 'not sick enough' for the treatments they offer? and so so much more that will never be understood if you haven't experienced it. it's so easy to judge another person when all you have is an outsiders perspective of them, but it's so difficult living with a disorder that is stigmatised by strangers, people you love, and people who's job is to help you

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me: *has no fp*

also me: *dying*

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no no you don’t get it like yeah they did a lot of shitty things to me but they did that one good thing for me on january 13 2013 so i have to keep them in my life forever now

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someone: *is completely toxic and not worthy of my time or attention* my damaged ass: hey 💖💕💗💓💞💘

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i told my fp i like him and he doesn’t reciprocate and i’m breaking breaking breaking

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My borderline ass: sends a text and then shuts my phone off so I don’t get mad when they don’t answer

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you are wonderful. never forget it

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have fun kiddos