bri-anne-not-neville - Tumblr blog

[bri-anne-not-neville]

i never noticed that they won the golden onion... this ginger mf’s weak “it’s the flourescents” has distracted me for twelve whole years 😭

[bri-anne-not-neville]

i do really be in my feelings because someone put paul in the lowest tier of the rate thingy mabob and didn’t even explain why, like please don’t disrespect the love of my life thx.

[bri-anne-not-neville]

Reblog This If You're A Twilight Blog in 2020 You Sick Fucks

i need more people to follow

[bri-anne-not-neville]

smeyer’s biggest mistake was not emphasising the dumbassery of the cullens excluding carlisle and esme. their kids were messes and it wouldve been glorious

like we know that jasper completely shit talks his history teacher when theyre going over the civil war unit and when the teacher finally kicks him out jasper goes “well that just dills my pickle”

edward’s not allowed to attend sex ed anymore after the incident in another town where he completely broke down in front of two sophomore girls bc they were talking about wanting to plow their boyfriends and he just wants everyone to stay pure

emmett threw jasper across the locker room once in front of the football team that were coming back from practice

alice likes to see into the futures of some of the students and tells them which boys or girls to go for and which not to. one time she congratulated a girl on her pregnancy two weeks before she realized she was

like these are dumbass vamps smeyer get your shit together

[bri-anne-not-neville]

bella talks about how she‘s always felt out of place in the world but in new moon there’s a scene that really hits me. quil and embry come in to see jake and they joke around then jake starts wrestling with quil and embry walks over to bella saying “I’ve got five bucks on quil” and she smiles and says “you’re on.” and you can just see how comfortable and relaxed she feels like she fits right in with jake’s friend group and I just

[bri-anne-not-neville]

id like to imagine that Alice had an imaginary rivalry with Angela since Ang was Bella’s close friend, but Angela had no clue. So she’s sitting there like “hey bella? Wanna help me with my graduation cards?” And Bella’s like “yeah cool. I’ll be over tonight.” AND ALICE JUST SNAPS A METAL FORK IN HALF AT HER SPOT ACROSS LUNCH ROOM JUST LIKE

Jasper: “chill, Ali.”

Alice: “Bella never offers to help me with my graduation cards.”

Emmett: “WE DONT DO THEM BECAUSE WE HAVE NO ONE TO SEND THEM TOO, YOU PSYCHOPATH.”

[bri-anne-not-neville]

so are we in agreement when a certain pdf file drops on August 5th theres gonna be a communal mutual share of this long..fanfiction?

I love sharing...fanfiction

[bri-anne-not-neville]

paul lahote needs to be talked about more.

[bri-anne-not-neville]

current mood

[bri-anne-not-neville]

[bri-anne-not-neville]

look, i am not saying i ship bella and jacob, okay. i’m just saying that this was really cute and i ship bella and jacob.

sometimes i sit and think about how jake and bella’s wedding would have been.

- bella would have gotten what she wanted - a small, personal ceremony, with only the people she held most dear. 

- i think emily would help her plan it, but she would have the final say on everything. 

- i think she would wear a similar dress - something flowy, vintage, with lace, but since the ceremony and reception would both be held on the beach, she would forego the shoes.

- shoes would actually be banned for everyone

- all the decorations would be handmade with the help of emily, leah, embry, quil, and seth.

- jacob is given the special assignment of carving the arch (as a surprise for bella)

- the arch is set in front of their tree - the one they sit at all the time, just talking. the tree they sat on when jake first told her about the legends, where he told her the legends were real, and where he proposed to her.

- he intricately carves wolves and fir trees into the arch, adding a cute ‘J+B’ at the top.

- the flowers are native to the woods they’ve spent so many days walking through together, like dogwood, bluebells, wild blue flax, and purple geraniums, mixed with fern fronds.

- sam is jake’s best man and in charge of his bachelor party, and he really wanted to get a stripper, but jake insisted on just a “night in with his boys” because they never really got to have anything like that too often, so they stay up late playing board games

- angela and leah are both bella’s maids of honor. leah insisted on taking bella and the bridesmaids out to a bar, but, like jake, partying isn’t really her thing. they have a girls night at bella’s house, where they order pizza and watch magic mike (”it’s the closest thing to a stripper we can get bella to approve”)

- the morning of the wedding, the angela, leah, and emily help bella get ready

- their bridesmaids dresses are pale purple

- jake and bella don’t see each other until the ceremony

- charlie walks her up the aisle

- jake and his groomsmen wear dress pants and white button up shirts with the same pale purple color ties

- jake starts crying immediately after he sees bella coming down the aisly

- her hair is in a loose braid, with lavender weaved through it, and a few loose pieces framing her face

- and she’s the most beautiful person he’s ever seen

- bella doesn’t cry until she notices the arch and jake’s signature carvings on it

- the kiss lasts longer than anticipated, but it gets a few ‘whoop whoooop’s from the pack

- the reception continues on the beach

- the guys change into their Denim Shorts and bella and bridesmaids change into cute sundresses

- bella and jake’s first dance is to la vie en rose by daniela andrade

- they also have a dance choreographed to africa by toto

- the pack are the background dancers

- a bonfire is made and the small reception group made up of only about 30 people sits/stands around the fire listening and telling stories, laughing, crying, and everything in between

- afterwards, bella insists on taking the arch home and keeping it - she puts it in her garden in their backyard and keeps it there 

- sometimes she sits underneath it and reminisces on one of the best nights of her life

[bri-anne-not-neville]

bree and seth !!!!!!!

Here we go again! Part 1, Part 2 

Part 3 Moar Non-Canon Cullen pairings

 Alice x Rosalie

Your ideal relationship dynamic is femme4femme.

 Bella x Angela

You just want good things for Angela. And honestly, I can’t blame you.

 Bella x Jessica

You think Jessica deserves better than Mike. And you’re absolutely right.

 Bella x Victoria

You are a monsterfucker.

 Maria x Jasper

You’re a slut for angst.  And emotional manipulation.

Bree Tanner ( Bree is a cullen fight me) x Diego

You read The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner and want better things for Bree. And honestly, I can’t blame you.

Bree x Seth

You also went better things for Bree. But you’re Team Wolf Pack.

Bree x Alec

You also want better things for Bree. But you’re Team Volturi.

 Carlisle x Charlie

You’re always a slut for that hot, dad-on-dad action.  

Carlisle x Charlie x Billy

What’s better than two dads? THREE DADS!

[bri-anne-not-neville]

yas

Sometimes self care is marathoning the twilight saga but only the bits with the wolf pack and skipping everything else

[bri-anne-not-neville]

me: i like deep songs with meaningful lyrics

the front bottoms: oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah im just a tie dye dragon

me:

[bri-anne-not-neville]

[bri-anne-not-neville]

the signs as things from The Twilight Saga

aries: alice flinging herself over the stair railing to give bella her birthday gift

taurus: “no bed?” “uh, no, i don’t sleep”

gemini: the fake fight scene at the end of breaking dawn part 2

cancer: emily’s muffins

leo: rosalie stepping on the broken glass from the salad bowl

virgo: bella beating emmett at arm wrestling

libra: bella’s cactus

scorpio: victoria letting her hair down at the end of the prom scene

sagittarius: Face Punch (the movie)

capricorn: edward making a CD mixtape of his own songs

aquarius: jessica’s zombie capitalism speech

pisces: the dream catcher jacob gives bella for her 18th birthday

[bri-anne-not-neville]

thinkin about jasper and rose always quietly being in each other’s corner. the depth of their mutual respect. their wordless understanding that they are the ones who protect, the ones who make impossible choices, the ones who get their hands dirty so their loved ones never have to. how strange it is that two people born 70 years and a thousand miles apart truly are twins deep down