broadway-musical-detector

[broadway-musical-detector]

Real observations since I started wearing a wizard hat daily:

- Brim is so wide that I stay BONE DRY taking walks in the rain

- Brim can be positioned to block the sun from ever getting in my eyes AND keeping it off the back of my neck

- The pointed top part creates an air pocket, keeping my head from getting hot or squishing my hair as it might in a ball cap

- Hat can easily be pulled down over the tips of my ears without looking dumb, protecting them from wind chill

- Strangers say they like my hat, giving me the chance to tell them that I am a wizard

- When you’re wearing a wizard hat, ALL OTHER FASHION CHOICES become secondary, allowing you to branch out with style

Embrace ego death. Stay protected from all elements. Wear a wizard hat.

✔ Broadway Musical Detected!

A Gentleman’s Guide to Love and Murder

By Steven Lutvak and Robert L. Freedman

Running on Broadway 2013–2016

Real observations since I started wearing a wizard hat daily:

- Brim is so wide that I stay BONE DRY taking walks in the rain

- Brim can be positioned to block the sun from ever getting in my eyes AND keeping it off the back of my neck

- The pointed top part creates an air pocket, keeping my head from getting hot or squishing my hair as it might in a ball cap

- Hat can easily be pulled down over the tips of my ears without looking dumb, protecting them from wind chill

- Strangers say they like my hat, giving me the chance to tell them that I am a wizard

- When you’re wearing a wizard hat, ALL OTHER FASHION CHOICES become secondary, allowing you to branch out with style

Embrace ego death. Stay protected from all elements. Wear a wizard hat.

[broadway-musical-detector]

we're going to have an OLDER BROTHER summer. we will be drinking MONSTER. we will be LIFTING WEIGHTS. we will be ignoring our MOM. we will be surviving off of CHIPS and NOODLES. we will NOT be SHOWERING. we will only be putting on AXE DEODORANT. we will be bothering PRETTY WOMEN and getting REJECTED. OLDER BROTHER SUMMER !!

✔ Broadway Musical Detected!

Hamilton

By Lin-Manuel Miranda

Running on Broadway 2015–present

we're going to have an OLDER BROTHER summer. we will be drinking MONSTER. we will be LIFTING WEIGHTS. we will be ignoring our MOM. we will be surviving off of CHIPS and NOODLES. we will NOT be SHOWERING. we will only be putting on AXE DEODORANT. we will be bothering PRETTY WOMEN and getting REJECTED. OLDER BROTHER SUMMER !!

[broadway-musical-detector]

r/baltimore

I'm getting rid of my Tesla.

In the last 3 weeks I've had 2 people give me a nazi salute and 1 yell heil hitler. The first one was in McHenry Row, the second was downtown on Pratt, and the third was in Charles Village. I should add that none of the people looked like real nazis or white supremists, they were simply shaming me. It worked.

Good morning Baltimore

✔ Broadway Musical Detected!

Hairspray

By Mark Shaiman, Scott Wittman, Mark O’Donnell, and Thomas Meehan

Running on Broadway 2002–2009

Song: "Good Morning Baltimore"

Good morning Baltimore

[broadway-musical-detector]

ambiguous mental illness ❌️

my curse #MyCurse ✅️

✔ Broadway Musical Detected!

Amélie

By Daniel Messé, Nathan Tysen, and Craig Lucas

Running on Broadway 2017

ambiguous mental illness ❌️

my curse #MyCurse ✅️

[broadway-musical-detector]

Facts about Greek Myths?

There are a great many figures in Greek myth and they can be hard to keep track of, so here is a quick guide to which is which:

Ajax- Warrior who invented detergent.

Antigone- Funeral enthusiast who invented civil disobedience.

Atlas- First winner of the Olympic strong titan competition.

Bellerophon- Plot point in Mission Impossible 2.

...

Sisyphus- Limp Biscuit fan who never stopped rolling.

Tantalus- I'll tell you in a minute...

Thanatos- God of dying as easily as snapping your fingers.

Zeus- When the earth was still flat and the clouds made of fire, and mountains stretched up to the sky, sometimes higher- Folks roamed the earth like big rolling kegs. They had two sets of arms, they had two sets of legs. They had two faces peering out of one giant head so they could watch all around them as they talked and they read. And they never knew nothing of love. It was before the origin of love. There were three sexes then: One that looked like two men glued up back to back, called the children of the sun. Similar in shape and girth were the children of the earth. They looked like two girls rolled up in one. The children of the moon were like a fork shoved on a spoon, they were part sun, part earth- Part daughter, part son. Now the gods grew quite scared of our strength and defiance and Thor said, "I'm gonna kill them all with my hammer, like I killed the giants." And Zeus said, "No, you better let me use my lightening like scissors, like I cut the legs off the whales, and dinosaurs into lizards." Then he grabbed up some bolts and he let out a laugh, and said, "I'll split them right down the middle. Gonna cut them right up in half." And then storm clouds gathered above into great balls of fire, and fire shot down from the sky in bolts like shining blades of a knife and it ripped right through the flesh of the children of the sun and the moon and the earth. If you want the rest, see Hedwig and the Angry Inch cuz this is taking way longer to type than I expected.

✔ Broadway Musical Detected!

Hedwig and the Angry Inch

By Stephen Task and John Cameron Mitchell

Running on Broadway 2014–2015

Song: "The Origin of Love"

Facts about Greek Myths?

There are a great many figures in Greek myth and they can be hard to keep track of, so here is a quick guide to which is which:

Ajax- Warrior who invented detergent.

Antigone- Funeral enthusiast who invented civil disobedience.

Atlas- First winner of the Olympic strong titan competition.

Bellerophon- Plot point in Mission Impossible 2.

Cerberus- 7 headed dog tragically born with only 3 heads.

Charon- Lead rower for Styx.

Cratus- God of strength, but not THAT god of strength.

Cyclops- Inventor of the monocle.

Daedalus- Inventor of the Labyrinth, and thus of David Bowie.

Dionysus- Drank 24/7 but very responsibly never drove.

Eris- Goddess of fighting with each other.

Eros- God of doing something else with each other.

Euronymous- God of Mayhem.

Fates- Least creatively named destiny gods ever.

Hera- Goddess of marriage yet only Zeus's third wife.

Hylia- Goddess of triangles and disjointed timelines.

Icarus- God of disappointing ones father.

Io- Space captain and epic 3D short film, still not on blu-ray.

Jocasta- Originator of Jo Mama jokes, mother of Oedipus.

Leda- Swan enthusiast and feathery-fandom originator.

Medea- Even worse mom than Jocasta.

Medusa- Inventor of reptile-safe shampoo.

Megaclite- LOL her name is "Megaclite." Pronounced like "Clitty."

Narcissus- Basically Trump.

Odysseus- Sailor who refused to ask for directions.

Orpheus- Inventor of impatiently checking the download bar.

Ouranos- Spelling that could've avoided a lot of planet butt jokes.

Pallas- Inventor of weird looking cats.

Persephone- Pomegranate fan, looked like Monica Bellucci.

Prometheus- Stupid fucking movie, especially for using some of H.R. Giger's original designs then putting them up next to a fucking plain white squid. Also let's make the space jockey a tall guy in a suit. How did Scott think that was a good idea? Fuck that shit and double fuck Covenant for somehow doing even fucking worse.

Rhode- Sea nymph yet not technically an island.

Siren- Inverse groupie.

Sisyphus- Limp Biscuit fan who never stopped rolling.

Tantalus- I'll tell you in a minute...

Thanatos- God of dying as easily as snapping your fingers.

Zeus- When the earth was still flat and the clouds made of fire, and mountains stretched up to the sky, sometimes higher- Folks roamed the earth like big rolling kegs. They had two sets of arms, they had two sets of legs. They had two faces peering out of one giant head so they could watch all around them as they talked and they read. And they never knew nothing of love. It was before the origin of love. There were three sexes then: One that looked like two men glued up back to back, called the children of the sun. Similar in shape and girth were the children of the earth. They looked like two girls rolled up in one. The children of the moon were like a fork shoved on a spoon, they were part sun, part earth- Part daughter, part son. Now the gods grew quite scared of our strength and defiance and Thor said, "I'm gonna kill them all with my hammer, like I killed the giants." And Zeus said, "No, you better let me use my lightening like scissors, like I cut the legs off the whales, and dinosaurs into lizards." Then he grabbed up some bolts and he let out a laugh, and said, "I'll split them right down the middle. Gonna cut them right up in half." And then storm clouds gathered above into great balls of fire, and fire shot down from the sky in bolts like shining blades of a knife and it ripped right through the flesh of the children of the sun and the moon and the earth. If you want the rest, see Hedwig and the Angry Inch cuz this is taking way longer to type than I expected.

[broadway-musical-detector]

They picked a guy from Chicago to be the pope

✔ Broadway Musical Detected!

Chicago

By John Kander, Fred Ebb, and Bob Fosse

Running on Broadway 1975–1977, 1996–present

They picked a guy from Chicago to be the pope

[broadway-musical-detector]

Give a man a leaf and he will eat it. Teach a man to leaf and he will go away

✔ Broadway Musical Detected!

Matilda

By Tim Minchin and Dennis Kelly

Running on Broadway 2013–2017

Give a man a leaf and he will eat it. Teach a man to leaf and he will go away

[broadway-musical-detector]

for me to like a character one thing they have to be is highly hurtable

✔ Broadway Musical Detected!

Oliver!

By Lionel Bart

Running on Broadway 1963–1964, 1984

for me to like a character one thing they have to be is highly hurtable

[broadway-musical-detector]

When the sun is coming up and the world has come ashore

If you're hoping for a harbor, then you'll find an open-door

In the winter, from the water through whatever's in the way

To the ones who will come from away

Welcome to the rock

✔ Broadway Musical Detected!

Come From Away

By Irene Sankoff and David Hein

Running on Broadway 2017–2022

Song: "Welcome to the Rock"

When the sun is coming up and the world has come ashore If you're hoping for a harbor, then you'll find an open-door In the winter, from the water through whatever's in the way To the ones who will come from away Welcome to the rock

[broadway-musical-detector]

What does E = mc^2 actually mean?

Let's start at the very beginning, A very good place to start. When you read, you begin with A-B-C. In science, you begin with E and MC:

E, a quantitative property.

M, the mass of something there.

C, a speed as fast as light.

2, that stands for something squared.

So, if mass and light combined-

Square, and equal energy,

Then, in relative spacetime-

That will bring us back to E equals MC (squared).

That's all in a musical by Rodgers and Einstein of course.

✔ Broadway Musical Detected!

The Sound of Music

By Richard Rodgers, Oscar Hammerstein II, Howard Lindsay, and Russel Crouse

Running on Broadway 1959–1963, 1998–1999

Song: "Do-Re-Mi"

What does E = mc^2 actually mean?

Let's start at the very beginning, A very good place to start. When you read, you begin with A-B-C. In science, you begin with E and MC:

E, a quantitative property.

M, the mass of something there.

C, a speed as fast as light.

2, that stands for something squared.

So, if mass and light combined-

Square, and equal energy,

Then, in relative spacetime-

That will bring us back to E equals MC (squared).

That's all in a musical by Rodgers and Einstein of course.

[broadway-musical-detector]

things you DO NOT need to be a man

1) a dick

2) he/him pronouns

3) xy chromosomes

things you DO need to be a man

1) a mind that is stronger than iron, that shines like a light in the dark

2) a body that could wrestle a lion, and then deal out a witty remark

✔ Broadway Musical Detected!

Operation Mincemeat

By David Cumming, Natasha Hodgson, Zoë Roberts, and Felix Hagan

Running on Broadway 2025–present

Song: "Making a Man"

things you DO NOT need to be a man

1) a dick

2) he/him pronouns

3) xy chromosomes

things you DO need to be a man

1) a mind that is stronger than iron, that shines like a light in the dark

2) a body that could wrestle a lion, and then deal out a witty remark

[broadway-musical-detector]

This broadway season is about corpses. About preserving someone that has died or holding on to a dying concept: vaudeville, fame, youth. That a person is both a physical thing and a narrative we tell. The ephemeral nature of living and the grim reality of loss. And of course, Betty Boop

✔ Broadway Musical Detected!

Dead Outlaw

By David Yazbek, Eric Della Penna, and Itamar Moses

Running on Broadway 2025

This broadway season is about corpses. About preserving someone that has died or holding on to a dying concept: vaudeville, fame, youth. That a person is both a physical thing and a narrative we tell. The ephemeral nature of living and the grim reality of loss. And of course, Betty Boop

[broadway-musical-detector]

I love it whenever a new set of gimmick blogs comes around. Like all of the elvis stuff looks so fun. I miss having the energy and time to participate in that stuff

✔ Broadway Musical Detected!

Something Rotten!

By Wayne Kirkpatrick, Karey Kirkpatrick, and John O'Farrell

Running on Broadway 2015–2017

I love it whenever a new set of gimmick blogs comes around. Like all of the elvis stuff looks so fun. I miss having the energy and time to participate in that stuff

[broadway-musical-detector]

featured actor award goes to jonathon groff's spit

✔ Broadway Musical Detected!

Cats

By Andrew Lloyd Webber, T. S. Eliot, Trevor Nunn, and Richard Stilgoe

Running on Broadway 1982–2000, 2016–2017

featured actor award goes to jonathon groff's spit

[broadway-musical-detector]

Robot girl who escapes from her creators because she hated doing the things she was designed for & was forced to do.

Robot girl who runs away & meets a few others like her, and with their help begins to replace parts of herself with new pieces that feel right.

Robot girl who has to deal with judgmental humans constantly complaining that she's replacing her "perfectly good" parts with "less useful" parts, claiming that she'll regret it.

Robot girl who undergoes so many changes that she ends up unrecognizable from her original form, but is so much happier as her new self.

Robot girl who continues to swap out pieces of herself with whatever feels right at the time, never forcing herself to settle with her original choices

Robot girl who fights for her freedom, and eventually finds herself living in comfort with 3 others like her, finally truly happy

Robot girl who goes through all of this, just to play Stardew Valley for 12 hours a day

✔ Broadway Musical Detected!

Maybe Happy Ending

By Hue Park and Will Aronson

Running on Broadway 2024–present

Robot girl who escapes from her creators because she hated doing the things she was designed for & was forced to do.

Robot girl who runs away & meets a few others like her, and with their help begins to replace parts of herself with new pieces that feel right.

Robot girl who has to deal with judgmental humans constantly complaining that she's replacing her "perfectly good" parts with "less useful" parts, claiming that she'll regret it.

Robot girl who undergoes so many changes that she ends up unrecognizable from her original form, but is so much happier as her new self.

Robot girl who continues to swap out pieces of herself with whatever feels right at the time, never forcing herself to settle with her original choices

Robot girl who fights for her freedom, and eventually finds herself living in comfort with 3 others like her, finally truly happy

Robot girl who goes through all of this, just to play Stardew Valley for 12 hours a day

[broadway-musical-detector]

theyre ading a new piece to the chess board called the me and it doesn;t do anything

✔ Broadway Musical Detected!

Chess

By Benny Andersson, Björn Ulvaeus, and Tim Rice

Running 1988

theyre ading a new piece to the chess board called the me and it doesn;t do anything

[broadway-musical-detector]

i've said this before but it's so crazy that some of you just grew up with tornadoes. if i saw one twister snake down from the clouds in front of my physical eyes i would become a mad priest for the rest of my life. and people from kansas are just like "lmao yeah that's why we had basement prom that one year" or whatevr

✔ Broadway Musical Detected!

Oklahoma

By Richard Rodgers and Oscar Hammerstein II

Running 1943–1948, 1951, 1953, 1979–1980, 2002–2003, 2019–2020

i've said this before but it's so crazy that some of you just grew up with tornadoes. if i saw one twister snake down from the clouds in front of my physical eyes i would become a mad priest for the rest of my life. and people from kansas are just like "lmao yeah that's why we had basement prom that one year" or whatevr