brown-ii

[brown-ii]

It's a sin really

to not stand in the rain like a maniac

and imagine with each and every drop falling on you is washing your doubts away

to not think of it as a sign that everything's gonna be fine , that it's for you only you that universe decided to make it rain today

it knows how much you love it

how much you long it

how much you want to feel touched , so it came down to touch you and make you feel things , make you feel more connected to this world

and not look at the sky and open your arms welcoming the drops as they touch your soul , your face, your darkest parts.

[brown-ii]

we are far from home

the only home we will have

is in the midst of somewhere and nowhere

existing and absent at the same time

home

a place

person

or feeling?

[brown-ii]

woke up to the voice of rains

and sleeping again listening

to rain

my purpose for the days, is thus fulfilled.

( we are far from home )

[brown-ii]

“I feel entirely dehumanised by the sun now and wish for fog, snow, rain, humanity.”

— Virginia Woolf, from a letter to Edward Sackville-West c. September 1926

[brown-ii]

grey , dull

beautiful

despite dark

shadows lurking

that of past

souls long deceased

aghast

leaves of trees

the most alive

empty roads

and clear paths

am i looking at right side of the dark ?

or

something behind , near , above , infront or inside me

[brown-ii]

So many things to be told to

So many are the stories to be recited to

many are the poems to quote to

but none a soul to

tell all these things to

[brown-ii]

I wonder if I'll ever write a poem so sad it wrenches the soul or I'll just remain the spectator who stands still and sees , who observes but never makes something of her own , who recites every poem by heart but never her own , who lives to write but dies as the pen strikes.

forever that girl who can never write something original and beautiful of her own , who can just appreciate the art .

[brown-ii]

Sometimes i get so overwhelmed by life i want to learn every language on the face of earth know every artist , painter , writer and author recite every poem , every quote , every dailouge listen every song ever made , sing each line and master every lyric master every instrument and play it loud , visit places , roam roads , hike forests , walk on sand , swim under waterfalls , jump mountains . sometimes I'm so fascinated by life , i am so alive i do not want to miss out on anything . And yet sometimes I don't feel like getting up only , I don't feel existing anymore , i end up wanting to be a tree or a cloud or a butterfly so i would live to my fullest for few days and then I'd turn back to dust .

[brown-ii]

the monsters under my bed

tries but

doesn't scare me

dreams

daunt me

and my thoughts , they

haunt me

leave me petrified

there after

not a clue which way to go to

which path to choose to

motionless , i remain

staring at nothingness

and in turn engulfed by nothingness

[brown-ii]

some nights i barely sleep

eyes sore and head heavy

soul aching and heart stinging

breath breaking but thoughts parading

haunting and killing me inside

it won't stop , it never stops

it goes on and keeps me awake .