bubblykaitlin

[bubblykaitlin]

[bubblykaitlin]

Look at what I saw today

[bubblykaitlin]

Knights are just inherently, immensely sexy... it's all about the devotion, the ideals, the cool weapons and armor AND the muscles to wield them...

[bubblykaitlin]

The other day I watched a little boy get knocked to the ground by an older kid who was running by. He burst into tears as his mother hurried over.

“Here’s a bandaid for ya,” I said, producing one from my vest pocket.

“Oh, he’s not bleeding, thank you though!”

I lowered my voice and leaned in. “Kids think bandaids are health magic,” I said. “Ask him where it hurts and exploit that placebo effect.”

She did just that, and instantly the kid stopped crying and thanked her. “I’ll have to remember that,” she said.

Children: #HACKED

[bubblykaitlin]

Oh my god

[bubblykaitlin]

[bubblykaitlin]

[bubblykaitlin]

How can ants have farms? They’re too small to control the chickens and the pigs

[bubblykaitlin]

These are some of my favourites

[bubblykaitlin]

Honestly I love ironically ugly clothes. Like. Hideous in a special way. If it’s not inherently hideous I’ll match it until it is.

[bubblykaitlin]

No one is allowed to use the word “postmodernism” because none of you know what it fucking means

[bubblykaitlin]

me at parties like

[bubblykaitlin]

"accidental co-parents of the found family group to lovers" is an underrated trope that i really want to see more of

[bubblykaitlin]

can i jsut say… isnt it insane that polar bears go underground like imagine just walking along with a shovel and u start digging a hole and a bear is in there

[bubblykaitlin]

one of my favorite d&d podcasts is doing a one-shot based on the friday the 13th movies. except the DM hasn’t told any of the players that it’s based on friday the 13th. he has them convinced it’s based on a sex-comedy coming-of-age film they’ve never heard of (that he made up). which is so fucking genius. because the characters in a slasher flick don’t know they’re in a slasher flick, why should the players? if you’re going for genre accuracy, make your players think they’re acting out animal house or something, or else they’ll end up weirdly genre savvy. it’s perfect. 

and like, throughout the whole session, to keep the players convinced that the fake not-horror movie is real, the DM keeps mentioning weird, specific details about the fake movie, like, “oh yeah, didn’t i mention? your character is played by crispin glover before he was famous” or “so in the actual movie, you got lost and had a nice scene in an orchard, but so-and-so succeeded on his navigation roll”

and this has the players lulled into a false sense of security for the most part. but over the course of the game they get more and more suspicious of all the weird, doom-harbinging horror-movie details the DM keeps sprinkling in. every once in a while a player will be like, “okay so these identical hitchhiking twins are hot, right? wait, why are they speaking in unison” 

it’s so genius. the DM introduces a small child who creates and collects ultra-realistic, cinema-quality latex monster masks, and none of the players even bat an eye. they don’t clock this creepy horror movie child at all. they’re too busy trying to hit on his older sister, just like their characters would be. 

at one point one of the players gets weirdly, genuinely angry, and is like, “WHY DO I CARE??? so this old couple is talking about a tragedy at the local hospital, SO WHAT????? aren’t i just supposed to want to get laid right now?! why did you put this in the story, man?!?! was this couple even in the original movie? i don’t know, because you won’t let us look it up on IMDB, even! what is going on?!” and i know it’s an auditory medium, but fuck, i could SMELL the shit-eating grin the DM must’ve had on. that’s so fucking awesome

[bubblykaitlin]

choosing where to live in america really do be like “what kind of natural disaster do you want to die in”

[bubblykaitlin]

How sexy do you think Pride should be? And how should it be enforced? Sometimes I feel like it’s a tug of war between excluding the Folsom Street Fair stuff and excluding young queer kids and queer parents with their little kids, all of which are important parts of Pride.

It’s September.  We’ve already had months of Pride discourse, and now the gayhog has seen its shadow and we can have Halloween discourse instead.

…Okay, anyway I think Pride (at least where I’ve attended, i.e., large liberal US cities) has currently gotten so family-friendly that it’s disgusting and wildly exclusive of anyone whose experience of queer sexuality isn’t “marketing teams handing out coupons while wearing Mardi Gras beads,” and some dick-sucking would really shake that up.

It’s been so long since I’ve seen anything in a Pride parade that made me even worry about “kids are seeing this.”  Honestly it’s a weird mix of vindicating and depressing to see queerness being made into something so boring and conventional.  Like, it’s cool that big companies and mainstream institutions want our business and aren’t ashamed to be seen with us–I’m old enough to remember when that was very much not the case–but it also means that the parade and even a lot of the other Pride events are all about as radically sexual as Disneyworld.

I don’t know if I really want dick-sucking in the streets.  (Actually I’m 100% sure I do.  But I’m not sure if it’s really a good thing in a broader sense.)  If I were making rules I guess I’d say “no actual sex, no exposed genitals,” but that rule would be about 500 lines down from rule 1, which would be “genuine community organizations front and center; corporations give us your money and we’ll let you field 2 people and a little placard at the very back of the parade, after the dude selling rainbow novelty headgear out of a Radio Flyer wagon.”

No, I don’t want to exclude families and people who aren’t comfortable with overt public sex, but right now I feel like we’re so far away from having that problem.  (The last Pride I want to had almost no one even shirtless, and more bothersomely, no one handing out or promoting condoms.)  Right now I’m more concerned about excluding people who feel like their sexuality and their continuing struggles have completely ceased to be represented by “the St. Patrick’s Day Parade, but rainbow instead of green.”