buffyrants

[buffyrants]

                                        “Innocence”  | “Dear Boy” “Innocence” the episode after Buffy slept with Angel for the first time and he lost his soul because of the curse of true happiness reverting him back to his soulless Angelus ways, so Buffy had no clue (in this scene) why “Angel” was acting so cold towards her like their time together meant nothing.

“Dear Boy” the episode where Angel and Darla reunited yet again, and she felt betrayed because in the past they shared everything together and they spent 150 years together, however, Angel is brushing off their relationship (when he was Angelus) as unimportant because he didn’t have the soul during it.  

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Chapters: 11/? Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel: the Series Rating: Mature Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: Angel/Buffy Summers, Rupert Giles & Buffy Summers, Angel & Cordelia Chase & Wesley Wyndam-Pryce, Angel & Cordelia Chase, Angel & Wesley Wyndam-Pryce Characters: Buffy Summers, Angel (BtVS), Rupert Giles, Cordelia Chase, Willow Rosenberg, Wesley Wyndam-Pryce, Joyce Summers, Xander Harris, Spike Additional Tags: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Teen Pregnancy, relationship drama, and Not Just of the Romantic Kind, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Depression, Episode: s01e08 I Will Remember You, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Giles is Buffy’s Dad, Domestic Bliss, Or as Close as Buffy and Angel are Going to Get to It Summary: In which, Adam fails before he ever gets a chance to get off the ground. Right around the time of the reveal of the suddenly not-so-mythical Slayer, giving Professor Walsh a very sinister Plan B. Meanwhile, our intrepid heroine is dealing with some serious developments of her own, to which everyone’s favorite Friendly Neighborhood Vampire might hold some much-needed clues

Hey you know what sucked? Today. You know what doesn’t suck? Comments!! You know what would make me feel better about this suckfest day? YOUR COMMENTS!!! 

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can everyone just let it sink in and fully appreciate the fact that Angel used to be a fuckboy.

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Fred: Now that she’s alive again, will they get back together? Angel and that girl with a goofy name?

Wesley: Fred, that’s a difficult question. I think it’s fair to say no. Not a chance. Never. No way. Not in a million years. And also nuh-uh.

Fred: You said he loved her. Of course she loves him back…because he’s strong and handsome and he really listens when you talk. If you go for that sort of thing, why wouldn’t it work?

[buffyrants]

Bangel Alphabet ∟ B • Blood 

[buffyrants]

Proof that Miss Edith is Drusilla:

-anticipates Buffy bringing trouble to her and Spike because she can’t “see her” (2x03, School Hard). Later on in the episode Miss Edith is seen with a blindfold on and punished, symbolizing her blindness to the future and being frustrated with herself. Why can’t Drusilla “see” Buffy?

-“Miss Edith speaks out of turn. She’s a bad example, and will have no cakes today. Shhhh.“ (2x03, School Hard) Drusilla promptly then refuses to eat the “cake” Spike brought her, punishing herself.

-”Miss Edith needs her tea.” (2x06, Halloween) After saying this, Drusilla immediately seeks validation and attention (the “tea”) from her boyfriend, seemingly in need of it (probably because he’s focusing a lot of it on Buffy now). Spike seems to recognize this on some level because after she says this line Spike instantly offers his hand and tells her that he is “helping her” by studying the Slayer. 

-”I need to change Miss Edith.” (2x09, What’s My Line Part 2) Spike snaps at Drusilla wanting to dance when he’s trying to work, and Drusilla feels horrible, going off to attempt to “change herself”.

-”You don’t want to kill her, do you? You want to hurt her. (pokes Miss Edith’s eyes) Just like you hurt me.” (2x14, Innocence) The poking of Miss Edith’s eyes can symbolize both Miss Edith being hurt, and because she goes for the eyes, hurt because of her visions, which were used by Angelus against her.

[buffyrants]

Welcome to The Sunnydale Fanfic Club

We are your hosts, JforJenny and QuinciWho!

Join us as we read and discuss the best in Buffy fanfiction!! Starting 2018, JforJenny and QuinciWho will post their podcast episodes where they plan to interview fanfiction authors and talk to them about their work every week! Currently this podcast is shooting their first couple episodes but plans to have them posted by 2018!

IF YOU READ BUFFY FANFICTION OR WRITE BUFFY FANFICTION, this is the podcast for you!!! We will post the stories we will be discussing in advance and allow the audience to send in their questions for these authors.

If you would like for us to talk about a specific fanfiction on our podcast, make sure to send us the link in our “ask” section of our tumblr page!

We are open and excited to discuss ALL PAIRINGS that you have written about. Everything from Buffy & Angel to Xander & Spike! If it’s a great fanfic, we want to talk to you about it!!!

Make sure to follow this tumblr page for more updates on our podcast!

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Buffy: They also do pieces from ballets and operas. Brian Boitano, in Carmen, it’s a life changer. Angel: I saw their production of Giselle in 1890. I cried like a baby. And I was evil!

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1x06 | 1x10 & 1x22 she didn’t lie, y’all :’)

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*tries to hug Buffy through the screen*

I really wish someone had taken Buffy aside during the whole Angelus saga and made it clear that none of it was in any way her fault. I know Giles kind of did, and I appreciate him for that, but there was still that whole ‘you acted rashly’ part of the speech and no, she actually didn’t.

She had sex with her longterm boyfriend (who could not get her pregnant or pass on any diseases) after talking it over with a trusted friend and deciding she felt ready. There is absolutely no way she could have known Angel losing his soul was even a possibility, let alone that having sex with him would be the thing to cause it. This isn’t like she was driving too fast and hit something but we all drive too fast sometimes and it could have happened to anyone. It’s like she was going the speed limit with her hands at ten and two and then a sinkhole opened up underneath her and swallowed her car.

She did absolutely nothing wrong and yet there are several instances where she blames herself in front of her friends and they’re sympathetic but they don’t disagree. I don’t blame them for that, because they’re teenagers too and it’s not like there’s a handbook for what to do when your friend’s boyfriend loses his soul and goes all serial killer-y. I just wish it could have been different and that someone could have taken a little of that guilt off her shoulders, because really the whole thing was tragic enough without Buffy hating herself on top of it.

[buffyrants]

[buffyrants]

Diabetes Challenge: Day 4

Pros and Cons of Being Diabetic

Pros:

If I go to someone’s house and I really don’t like something on the menu, I can truthfully tell them “ I don’t know the carb count for that. I’m sorry, but I’ll have to pass.”

You gain a greater appreciation for the tiny amounts of chips and chocolate you allow yourself to eat. Scarcity, as they say, increases value. 

Cons:

You have to plan your entire life. It’s hard to be spontaneous when any unexpected exercise requires ex-carbs, or insulin adjustment at various mealtimes. 

Explaining to your Lab TA that you have to leave a delicate experiment because you need to eat some sugar tablets, because you’re low. I’ll only be gone about ten minutes, it’s just boiling, couldn’t you just watch it, please? 

Explaining to your Ancient Greek professor that you’re going to have to make-up that quiz, because you have an appointment with your endocrinologist you can’t put off. How about I do it a day early? That way I’m not getting “special treatment?” 

Waking up with your heart racing, and thinking illogically at 3 am because you’re low, and trying to remember where you are or what to do. Alternatively, being up with a massive high, and waiting for it to come down. It can be exhausting to go to class after all that.

Not being able to eat what you want. 

Not being able to eat at all if you forget your insulin, or run out.

These are the ones that affect me on a weekly basis, I dare say. 

[buffyrants]

Diabetes Challenge: Day 3

Selfies/Swag

Selfie from Halloween Mummy Competition: I Came in First ;)

As for swag, I’m not sure about that, but this is the coolest thing ever, in my opinion, that I have for Diabetes:

It’s what I put my Lantus, which is long-lasting insulin I inject myself with before bed, and Apidra, which is fast-acting insulin I inject myself with every time I eat, in when I travel. I just think it’s awesome: It’s sleek, compact, organised. I love it.

[buffyrants]

Diabetes Challenge: Day 2

My Diagnosis Story

I’m one of those rare diabetics who were too foolish, blind, or hopeless to go to the doctor within a sensible length of time. I’m told that to get diagnosed through DKA as bad as mine is uncommon. I’ve actually been told there’s no medical explanation I’m alive. I walked into the ER under my own power with an ABG of 6.38, and a blood glucose level of 32.4.

I first noticed the symptoms of diabetes when I was a week or so into a brutal accelerated calculus course. I was studying something like eight hours a day, and thought that symptoms like blurred vision, and fatigue were just me pushing myself too hard. Also, I drink a lot of water as a rule, since I once passed a kidney stone, so I didn’t even notice I was drinking more than usual, and just attributed the frequent urination to my drinking habits. *sigh*  I always drank more than most people in my life anyway. 

In any case, I finished my exam, and went to by grandparents house the next day to celebrate my nineteenth birthday. We indulged in lots of stuff that was particularly bad for me: milkshakes, cake, cookies, chocolate, chips, sprite, coke, and orange juice. As you can imagine, I felt terrible the next day. I assumed this was because I hadn’t seen the sun in about a month, so I decided to go swimming. On the way, I used my birthday money to buy myself an Orange Julius from Dairy Queen: Not good. I drank it all, and it was, naturally, the largest size, then took the bus to the pool. As I jumped into the water, I experienced extreme chest pain, and rapid breathing. I honestly assumed it was an asthma attack, since, for me, it can be stimulated by exercise and cold, and that water had been freezing. I was scared, but I really didn’t think it could be that bad.

After about an hour just lying down, I realised that I didn’t have the energy to even get up and walk to the bus stop, so I called my cousin to pick me up, and he took me home. He said I looked really bad, and maybe I should go to the ER. However, in all of my non-existent wisdom, I insisted I just needed to take my puffers, and it would be fine. I’d been hospitalized for asthma once when I was a kid, and this wasn’t nearly so bad. It was bad, but not that bad. 

I changed my mind when I threw up all over my sheets as I headed to bed. I thought that was strange, because, to my knowledge, vomiting was not a typical symptom of asthma. I wasn’t thinking very clearly either way, as DKA tends to have that effect. I just put my sheets in the laundry, and drank a lot of juice, milk, and water, because I was so thirsty, and if I was sick, I needed to keep hydrated. Hindsight being 20/20 the milk, and especially the juice was a bad idea. I spent most of the night trying to focus, because I felt so tired. I remember thinking I could pass out from exhaustion. I still didn’t call an ambulance though; I thought it would get better, but it didn’t. Eventually, in the wee hours of the morning, with my laundry all done, and pulling an all-nighter, (I am so glad I didn’t go to sleep, because I doubt I would have woken up, and no one would have missed me for days with my parents out of the country, and my friends overseas; they would have just found my corpse probably a week later…), I called my grandparents, and asked them if they would mind driving me to the ER.

They drove me there, and all I remember is pain. My memory comes in flashes. I remember just focusing on the goal, on the next step of the mission. Walk to the elevator. Walk to the van. There’s a lot I don’t remember if it wasn’t to do with anything outside of my very deliberate and determined focus. I don’t remember, for instance, but I’ve been told my grandfather actually wiped saliva off my mouth, because it was hanging there in strands. I guess it was from the rapid breathing. Likewise, I didn’t notice, but my grandmother told me that when I walked my knees visibly shook trying to support my weight. Both of them told me I was pale as a sheet. All I remember though is pain, and forcing myself to stay awake, and push through it all. I could feel every individual muscle in my rib cage strain with each rapid, shallow breath, and I felt like a knife had been stabbed into my sternum. When we were in the elevator, I curled up into the fetal position, and when our floor came, I would force myself to stand right back up. My vision was blurring so much the memories now come in flashings of light and incoherent images.

When we got to the ER, I looked so bad they brought me up to the front of triage immediately, and I honestly didn’t have to wait at all. I still thought it might be asthma, so they put me on Ventolin, but I knew immediately that it wasn’t working. I remember trying to explain that it wasn’t working, that clearly this wasn’t an asthma attack, it was something else. I recall the process of communication felt so difficult, like talking to someone on the phone, but there’s a bad connection. You just can’t quite get the message across. You’re mixing things up, getting things wrong, and repeating yourself a lot. You wonder why they just can’t get it. Why don’t they understand you? There was significant frustration of simply trying to articulate what I meant when my thoughts were hard to string together, let alone my words. I think my speech was slurred. Eventually, I got the nurse to believe me that I wasn’t panicking, and they went to get the doctor who was at a complete loss. Maybe, it’s anxiety? No, I’m not an anxious person. Maybe you’re pregnant? Impossible, I’m a virgin. Maybe you’re…? So on, so forth. They gave me EKGs. They took X-Rays of my chest. All results came back, and lead to nowhere. Finally, another nurse noticed that I kept asking for more water, and she went up to doctor and said, “Maybe, she’s diabetic?” Then, everything clicked.

The doctor explained to me that the chest pain was coming from my heart struggling to pump my blood, because it was so thick with sugar. I remember almost seeing a light-bulb go off above her head, and almost hearing something click into place in mine. You see, my paternal grandmother, who passed from complications seven years before I was born, was Type I. Ironically enough, I was named after her, and I remember by father telling me a story that she had told him once: She’d said when she was about sixteen, she and her friends had gone out, and they’d all gotten milkshakes. She’d been so frustrated that she couldn’t eat and drink what she wanted, she drank the milkshake with them against her better judgement. She went into a coma, but she remembered waking up once, and feeling her heart strain to pump the viscous blood, and that was when she vowed to take better care of herself. I remember having that flashback, and going Oh! That’s me now!

After that, I was placed on a gurney, and rushed to ICU. I remember letting myself pass out, since I figured now that they knew what to do with me, I was entitled. The last thing I remember before the black was one nurse taking my blood sugar, and another trying to find an artery to get my ABG. The last thing I saw was the shocked look on their faces when they saw what the results were…

I was unconscious for about twenty hours during which they took my blood every four hours, but I remember waking up briefly in the wee hours of the next day, and being so hungry. I asked for something to eat, but the nurses looked shocked I was even up. They looked at one another skeptically before saying that I could eat if I could hold down some juice. I tried, but I threw it up immediately. I remember saying, “I’m willing to try again,” but they told me no. The gravity of the moment settled on me, when one of the nurses said, “Your blood is poison, honey, you can’t keep anything down right now.” I nodded blearily, and passed out again.

I woke up the next morning strung up on 6-8 IVs. This is not an exaggeration. I had four needles in me: Two at my wrists, and two in the crooks of my elbow, and they had double outlets. Hence, 6-8 IVs. My forearms were just massive bruises. I was attached to the IVs for two days, with some gradually getting removed as I got better, until they were all gone: some were insulin, some were electrolytes, some were saline solution. The magnesium was particularly bad. It burned as it went in, and all the nurses could give me for it was an ice pack. (Also, thank you to all the nurses out there. The ones who were assigned to me were all just so kind, and I can’t thank you enough for all you do to take care of us. It’s really very humbling, and I quite appreciated it.)

I slept for most of the first two days I was in ICU, and the first day is mostly just blur. I do recall needing to use the bedpan, and how it registered to me that I wasn’t remotely embarrassed about someone else being there to help me use the bathroom. I just felt so helpless, and exhausted I didn’t even care I needed help with basic bodily functions. I realized then I must really be bad off if I just didn’t care. I was so tired, sooooo tired…

The nurse came to explain that I was diabetic, and I just took it all in. She didn’t have to explain much, because I already knew a lot about it a) because I took an advanced biology course, and b) because it was in the family. I remember feeling like there was a certain inevitability to it. My grandmother had it. Now I have it. I was named after her. It just seemed so poetic. All the nurses said they were impressed that I was taking it so well. I didn’t know what to make of that statement. In many ways, it wasn’t real. I was diabetic now, and that was it. Shrug your shoulders. How was I supposed to take it? I had my diagnosis, and that was it. I didn’t understand why they thought I was doing so well. Was there a way that I was expected to take it…? Was I supposed to pitch a fit? Freak out? Have a tantrum? I said thank you, when they told me I was taking it well, but I honestly didn’t understand where they were coming from. I felt lost, but I did what I was told, and was as good a patient as I could be.

It started to become more real when I was discharged. I went home and I was still quite insulin resistant, and weak, but they needed the bed at the hospital, and I was able enough to manage, so I went. They gave me needle tips, insulin pens, test strips, and lancets, a massive sharps container, and told me to expect the nurse to call. Looking at the size of the sharps container was when my head knowledge began to become my heart knowledge. It was huge, and I realized that was because this was the rest of my life. That container was going to be filled with needles, and loads more would be filled besides. It started to feel more real, and it didn’t stop. It continued as I called the nurse with my numbers when she asked me to, when I started planning meals, when I started taking care of my blood sugar all by myself, when I started rearranging the rhythms of my life, but it was still so strange, and so much to remember. I staved a lot of how I felt off, and looking back, I think a lot of it was just me dissociating, because I needed to take care of myself, and be strong. Everything else could wait.

I finally broke down three days or so after I got out of the hospital. My mom, who had been out of the country, came back as soon as she heard the news, and as we were driving home from the airport, I finally felt safe enough to cry. Now, it was real. I cried, and I cried, because this was the rest of my life. I cried because I felt trapped. I cried because a whole future I had planned out where I took being healthy for granted just died. I cried because I was scared. I told my mom, “I feel like I’ve got a bomb strapped to me and any day it might go off.” I cried because I’d almost died. I cried because I knew that if I ever stopped taking care of myself, I was dead. I cried because eventually no matter how well I took care of myself, there would be complications. I cried because my grandfather told me I was released on the anniversary of my grandmother’s death. It was just too much. I cried. I just cried. 

[buffyrants]

Diabetes Challenge 2k17

As many of you know November is Diabetes awareness month, and myself and amazing people in the Skype/ Snapchat group (send @insulingetsmelow a message if you would like to join)  have thought up some awesome daily prompts for a Tumblr challenge.You can message me with any questions.

Use #diabeteschallenge2k17. Have fun!

Personal Introduction (age, hobbies, ice breakers, etc)

Diagnosis Story/First systems

Selfies/Swag

Pros and Cons of Being Diabetic

Management (Pump/Pens/Syringes, diets, etc.)

What is your favorite or go-to low treatment?

What are things that you do while you’re waiting for a high to come down?

Things Non-Diabetics Say™

Diabetic versus Person with Diabetes

Day in the Life of a Diabetic

What would you do in an apocalypse/doomsday scenario?

Endocrinologist/Doctor Horror Stories

3 emojis that Describe Your Diabetes

What does good representation in the media look like? (Happy Birthday Fredrick Banting!)

Headcanons

How likely do you think it is for there to be a cure within the next 3-5 years?

What is the first thing that you would do with a cure?

Diabetic role model(s)

How do you explain diabetes to non-diabetics?

Common misconceptions

How has diabetes affected you emotionally/physically/mentally?

If diagnosed young: what was it like growing up diabetic. If diagnosed later in life: what did you think diabetes was before you were diagnosed?

Protips (ie. eat their pancreas)

Diabetes and School/Diabetes and Work

Talk about burnout

Do you know any other diabetics/general diabetes support systems?

Hopes for future of diabetes/diabetes community

Thoughts on the tension between T1Ds and T2Ds?

Future plans/goals (camp, fundraisers, tattoos, etc.)

Free space, talk about what about something that hasn’t been prompted

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The Life and Times of the Diabetic

Okay, I’ve just been made aware that November is Diabetes Awareness Month. I feel like I have a sacred duty. For all of you possibly pre-diabetic folk out there here are the warning signs that you might have just joined the Diabetes Club:

Blurred Vision

Drowsiness/Lack of Energy

Frequent Urination-Especially at Night

Increased Thirst

Increased Hunger (Although sometimes it can manifest as diminished appetite)

Weight Change

Tingling in Hand and Feet

Frequent or Recurring Infections

Cuts and Bruises That are Slow to Heal

If you are a new diabetic, you may not get all of the above symptoms, but if you have enough you should start to go: Hey, maybe I’m diabetic?! Don’t do what I did, folks. I was studying an intense summer accelrated calculus course, so I thought: blurred vision? I’m studying too much. Tired? I’m studying to much. Frequent urination? It’s because I always have a glass of water with me since I once passed a kidney stone! It never even occured to me to, you know, go to the doctor and get myself checked out. It’s even more stupid in my case because my paternal grandmother was Type I. I just figured, heck, I’m 19, average age of onset is 14, if I haven’t gotten it by now… Well, no. Listen guys, YOU’RE NOT INVINCIBLE!!!

What if You Ignore the Symptoms?

If you are like me though, too dense, or unlucky, or whatever to get your diagnosis in a sensible length of time. The consequences will be DKA which could lead to your diagnosis in the ER, like me, or death, which fortunately did not happen to me-but it almost did!

DKA, diabetic ketoacidosis is when you have excessive sugar in your blood, since you have little to no insulin to break it down, and as a result your blood gets filled up with ketones which turn your blood acidic. It’s highly painful, very dangerous, and if not treated: You will slip into a coma and die! To avoid this, if you have been late figuring things out, these are your Red-Alert-go-to-the-ER warning signs

Vomiting

Chest Pain

Rapid Breathing

Abdominal Pain

Extreme Fatigue-you can barely bring yourself to move

Extreme Difficulty Concentrating

Unbelievable thirst

Flushed Face

Breath That Smells “Fruity”

Headache

If you receive these symptoms GO TO THE ER. Please, dear reader, do NOT do what I did, and assume that the rapid breathing, and chest pain is because you are having an asthma attack, and go home to sleep it off. YOU MIGHT NOT WAKE UP!!! Fortunately, I didn’t fall asleep, as I suddenly threw up, that was my first clue, (I am such an idiot), that something was wrong. If this happens to you, do not wait until morning to call your grandparents to drive you to the ER. CALL 911. I know. I know. It’s strange to think of calling an ambulance for yourself, but trust me: Better safe than sorry, and you are far from safe if you have the above symptoms.

I walked into the ER under my own power, and was told I was a medical miracle. My blood sugar was 32.4 and my ABG, (blood pH basically, no pun intended), was 6.38. For those of you who are not in the medical field, a blood sugar level of 30 is basically give up and die, you’re dead, territory, and a blood pH of 7.3-7.4 is normal, with 7.2 being already an emergency, and 6.38 being the lowest a comatose patient has ever been known to survive, (or so the medical community has told me at any rate). I let myself pass out in the ER, after I got my diagnosis; I was unconscious for sixteen hours. I had three nurses working on me the whole time; I was on so many IVs, my forearms were bruises, and I was in ICU for three days, which was actually rather short for how bad I was when I came in. DO NOT DO WHAT I DID. Be safe, and sensible. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure, or several pounds really, or dollars: You’ll be paying for insulin now, but, hey, at least you’re alive!

What to Know if You Have a Diabetic Acquaintance

Alright, for those of you lucky ones who do not have diabetes, here’s a really nice do not: DO NOT TELL THEM YOLO, at least not in the context of “have that cookie.” You see, we are already struggling with the temptation; we don’t need that kind of encouragement. These one time moments build up, and if you don’t take proper care of yourself as a diabetic here’s what’ll happen:

Kidney Failure

Blindness

Nerve Damage

Amputation of Limbs

A Slow Painful Death

Please don’t be like my step-grandmother who tells me to live my best life now, and eat whatever the h*ll I like, because if I do that, I won’t have a best life to live! I will be on kidney dialysis, best case scenario. I’ll be honest, guys, it sucks to be diabetic, and we need people in our life to say, are you sure about that cookie? Or just to accept that we can’t eat as much of your birthday cake as we would like to, that we can’t eat ice cream, and we may have to turn down that beer. It sucks, but that’s life: and we want to have it even if it’s sucky.

For those of you who are diabetic though: Look at the one bright side!!! I’m sure I’m not the only one who’s gone to a friends house, seen something truly vomit-inducing on the menu, and said, “I’m so sorry; I’ll have to pass on that; I’m not sure how many carbs are in it..” It’s our one perk, we can’t eat junk food like we want, but at least we don’t have to eat other people’s gross food!!! (Oh no, I made you non-diabetics wise to us! lol ;)

Here’s another thing to be aware of. As dangerous as hyperglycemia (high blood sugar is) the opposite hypoglycemia can be just as deadly. Lows are often taken care of by getting some quick sugar. (Yes! I can finally drink that glass of Apple Juice!!!) However, sometimes we diabetics can get “hypoglycemia unawareness.” This is very rare, but happens when our body doesn’t catch the signs of low blood sugar; we don’t realise we have it, and we pass out. If you have a diabetic friend who has slurred speech, shaking extremities, sudden mood swings, is acting a bit high or drunk, ask them to check their blood sugar: You may save their life. If they do pass out though, call 911, and get some sugar into them if you can. Something viscous like honey can be placed in their mouth, so that they don’t choke on it, and may help bring them around. Check their bags first though, they may have sugar gel, or a glucagon injection (the opposite of insulin, it raises blood sugar) in their bag for emergencies like hypoglycemia unawareness. Trust me, they will have a bag or a briefcase with them. We need to to carry all our junk: Insulin pens, needle tips, lancets, a glucometer, test strips, sugar tablets, etc. 

If You’re Actually Quite Close to a Diabetic

We may try to hide it from you, and oftentimes we are so used to it ourselves that we don’t even think of it, but it really is hard to live with a chronic illness. We will have a bad day sometimes. That day where our blood sugar just won’t cooperate and we feel awful, and we remember that we are literally staving off death everyday. If we don’t check our blood sugar, if we don’t take our injections, drink our juice when needed, we don’t get to live. We die: Plain and simple. I know we can make it look easy, and you can get used to anything. Sometimes I can’t remember what it’s like not to be diabetic, but, boy, is it hard when I do remember. I’m a few missed injections away from a coma. I have cried over it. It’s a tough pill to swallow sometimes.

Sometimes we’re going to envy you. Most of us won’t bring it up; we don’t want to ruin your joy, but it can be hard to go to a movie, and everyone buys pop, and you remember the glory days when you could have drunk a bottle, and not risked your life. It’s tough. It’s human. We want what we can’t have. Don’t take this the wrong way: we want you to enjoy your bottle of pop, da*nit, if we can’t enjoy it, you’d better enjoy it double! but there are days when it is hard for us. So if you don’t have diabetes, next time you drink some juice, or eat anything, take a moment to savour the fact that you don’t have to worry about how your body will cope with it. It is a blessing you will take for granted until you’ve lost it. 

For those of us who are diabetic. Be proud. We fight death everyday. We defy it. Look into the mirror and know that you are a survivor. We all are. We are our own pancreas, and that takes grit. We savour life in a way that most don’t, because they don’t live everyday with the knowledge of how fragile it is. Remember that when you have to jab yourself with that needle. You survived. You still survive: You go live on your borrowed time to the fullest!

Government Policy

For those of you against tax credits for diabetics, or better health care, you know, that sort of thing. Please remember that I am in no way responsible for my health condition, and that it isn’t preventable. Please remember that I am a struggling student, and I have to pay for my test strips, needle tips, lancets, batteries, insulin etc. out of pocket, as I don’t receive full coverage. Please be aware that I have to worry about my future career, because I am unlikely to get coverage, and I need to be sure I can make enough to keep myself alive. It isn’t my fault, but I suffer for it enough without that kind of added pressure. Kindly understand that if I cannot afford to buy my medication, and equipment my disease will go from chronic to terminal. Without my insulin, I will be dead in a month. Just something for you to consider…

And on that happy note: Happy Diabetic Awareness Month. I hope this was helpful to you! :D

[buffyrants]

Alphabetized Meta Masterlist

Angel and Angelus

An Irish Childhood: Implications of Angel’s Past

The Affect of Long-Term Isolation on Angel

Angel and Martial Arts

Angel and the Master

Angel’s Perfect Happiness

Angel’s Inspiration

Angel, Prohibition, and Chicago

Angel’s Recovery

Angelus vs. Angel and Bangel vs Dangel: How it all Comes Together

Connor’s Name

How Buffy Affected Angel

How Did Angel Get Blood Before Blood Banks?

Just Random Thoughts: Angel’s Finances

Just Random Thoughts: Angelus and the Master

Just Random Thoughts: Connor and the Curse

Just Random Thoughts: Psalm 23

Just Random Thoughts: How the World Wars Affected Angel

The “Notorious” Angelus

Passion: An Analysis of the Discovery of Jenny’s Body

Pistols and Dueling

Problems With Angel’s Curse

Angel and Spike

I Got a Soul: No Fair!

Bangel

The Concept of First Love

The Importance of Listening

Buffy

Buffy and a Fear of Abandonment

Buffy’s Selfless Strength

Just Random Thoughts: Platt and Counselling

Cangel

Angel and Cordelia: The Relationship

Dangel

Darla’s Relationship With her “Dear Boy”

Darla

Why I Think Darla is the Most Tragic of the Whirlwind

Faith

Just Random Thoughts: Faith’s Atrophy

The Initiative

Just Random Thoughts: Foreshadowing the Initiative

Riley and Buffy

Foreshadowing the Fall

Into the Woods: Why it’s so Disturbing

The Scooby Gang

Just Random Thoughts: Training to Fight

“Find the Fun: How the Scoobies Treated Buffy After Sending Angel to Hell

Spike

Spike and Stockholm Syndrome

Why it May Not be Terribly Likely That he Had Stockholm Syndrome

Vampire Biology

Cold-Blooded Killers

Just Random Thoughts: Vampire Circulation

The Vampire Diet