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"If decapitations were nuns, you'd be the Katy Perry of our party!"

Reminiscing about violent sessions

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TUSK LOVE at Gilmore’s Glorious Goods. in THE LEGEND OF VOX MACHINA

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Haha oops

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You're just gonna steal a man's bodily fluids at breakfast?

Redemption paladin questioning the Wizard’s theft of a stranger’s tears

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"Do you ask for hallucinogens?"

— DM asking for clarification before the 9 year old birdfolk goes on to buy a potion of shit yourself from an alchemist/glass artist

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How much does one hit point of a ship weigh??

Our ship’s captain, taking inventory.

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This talk between Grog and craven edge will never not be funny to me.

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Gonna try another huge catch-up!

I’m ~20 episodes behind, so I definitely won’t make it by tomorrow... but maybe I’ll be ready when the new episode hits youtube. Not like I’d be able to stay up for the live episode...

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Our adventurers are in a recently abandoned mine, they’ve found the bodies of miners dead with no wounds, and saw a figure mysteriously vanish down a dead-end tunnel. They are discussing ways of figuring out what’s going on, and the paladin is talking about the negative energy of the place, but reminding the party that he’s not an expert in the undead.

Artificer:  Are you using this convoluted nonsense to explain why your paladin is not trained in religion??

Paladin:  First off, good vibes are not convoluted nonsense! Secondly... yes.

Paladin after a moment of silence:  Anyway, I cast Vibe Check.... aka divine sense.

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Sometimes I worry about balancing my game regarding what magic items I give my players, but Matt Colville said it best

"The reason we play D&D is to do stuff like [cast wish] ... I think there's a tendency to avoid giving out too many magic items 'cause theres an expectation that we're gonna play D&D forever so it's too early to give this out! But how often are you gonna play? You never know! This campaign could end next week. So I tend to want to be generous with magic items because I want my players to have a good time and I want them to experience the some things unique to D&D."

So fuck it. Multiple legendary items and maybe an artifact or two! They're probably gonna die in Hell anyway, I might as well give them some cool toys to mess with first.

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Marisha Ray hate?? In the year of our lord 2020? Grow up.

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A gift I made for a friend

Jester print by Tess Fowler

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Grog Strongjaw was the most loving member of Vox Machina. I will not elaborate.

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just saying you missed a chance to call you blog A Sucker Fjor Warlocks

Well Fjuck

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I wanna talk about Keyleth and Vilya, and just how crucial Keyleth getting her mother back is.

I understand that many CR fans came in from the beginning of Campaign 2 so are probably either A) unfamiliar with Keyleth or B) still making their way through Campaign 1. So there will be Campaign 1 spoilers ahead (ye have been warned) but I’ll try to make it followable for y’all. 

See, Keyleth, more than any character from Campaign 1 I think, has a tragic story, or at least definitely a heartbreaking ending. Yes, you read that right, maybe even more heartbreaking than Vax. 

Let’s start with the simple fact that, as an Archdruid, Keyleth’s lifespan is increased by a factor of 10. According to the 5e handbook, the average lifespan of a Half-Elf is 180 years (provided they die of Old Age). This means that Keyleth’s new lifespan is 1,800 YEARS. This is FAR BEYOND any of Vox Machina, even the Gnomes who have a lifespan of 500 years. On average, she will outlive the last of Vox Machina by 3x their lifespan. So she’s staring down the barrel of being on her own (or at least without her Found Family) for the majority of her lifetime. 

Okay, let’s add to that the fact that Leadership is Lonely. She is the leader of the Air Ashari, and as we see in the epilogue, has also taken a larger role in all the Ashari clans and Tal’Dorei. Yes, of course, she will have the support of Korrin and other tribespeople, but ultimately, she is the Tempest. She makes the final decisions, and Keyleth has always been acutely aware of that weight and responsibility.  

Finally (and here be MAJOR spoilers for Campaign 1), the love of her life has died. She will not be able to have Vax by her side as she learns how to be a leader of the Air Ashari. The singular person who was well-placed to bridge the gap between Keyleth of Vox Machina and Keyleth Voice of the Tempest is gone. And there’s nothing she can do about that. 

She’s just. Alone. 

So here’s where Vilya comes in. Vilya, is obviously Keyleth’s mother. She’s ALSO a badass High-Level Druid. Which MEANS that Vilya might also have the increased lifespan Keyleth has. So not only could Keyleth have her MOTHER BACK but she could potentially have her mother around for her ENTIRE LIFETIME. 

Suddenly, with Vilya around, Keyleth’s life doesn’t look so bleak. Yes, they would have a lot of catching up to do. Yes. there is a ton of relationship repairs and work that needs to be done. 

But I really, truly think that the most heartbreaking aspect of Campaign 1 could have a bright spot now. 

And all because of fucking Travellercon.

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Magic and tea 🍵