butchbiscuit

[butchbiscuit]

Anph

[butchbiscuit]

nothing a little magical girl transformation can't fix

[butchbiscuit]

if i were to change anything about dear brother i would make it so rei is actually really bad at basket ball

[butchbiscuit]

Madoka: I wish to become the Omelas kid!

Only Homura, for some reason: I think that’s kind of fucked idk about that

Everyone else: Christ you are so selfish Homura. Die

[butchbiscuit]

unlikable girls

[butchbiscuit]

[butchbiscuit]

A few notable details when Nanami tries to drown the kitten:

-The box's flaps are taped shut. Nanami is preoccupied with controlling Touga's attention by violently deterring what she sees as the toys, the swarming insects, that distract him. Taping the box shut has two purposes: locking the kitten inside, and keeping herself from looking at it. Why doesn't she want to look at the kitten? Is it because she would have to remember that the cat is not an object and more directly consider the consequences of what she is doing? Or is it self-recognition (she's afraid she's a toy too, and afraid she'll suffer the same consequences eventually)?

-The box floats. Like Juri, Nanami can't successfully drown her problems. In Nanami's case, she tries to strongarm an external threat to Touga's attention away but she doesn't know what she's doing or how to do it-- she doesn't weigh down the box. She is a child, with a childish view of reality and a poor understanding of the laws of nature. When she's older, she has a similar lack of understanding of other people's whims, behaviors, and feelings, even as she attempts to alter them.

-The box floats away, down a river. Nanami's action is more about distancing the cat from Touga than it is about killing the cat. In fact, her initial goal might not have been drowning it at all-- she is a child and doesn't understand how things work. The consequences for the cat upset her (whatever her level of understanding, she at least knows the cat is abandoned and removed from source of love and safety), but as long as it's absent, out of Nanami's sight, she can justify it. She starts to take the combativeness inherent to this strategy for granted as she gets older, seeing it as a necessity of maintaining her tenuous, illusory grasp on Touga as a source of love, safety, and self-worth.

- As the box tips into a black abyss (we can't see the bottom, and neither can Nanami) the tape comes loose and a flap opens up. The kitten can still choose to escape-- can't the kitten jump? Can't it swim? As soon as the flap opens, threatening to make her see-- the shot cuts away, and Nanami gasps. Perhaps she sees the cat jump to the opposite side of the bank, or it's possible that, in seeing the box fall into the abyss, Nanami assumes she is successful. This memory reminds her that violence toward what she sees as her more vulnerable competitors is an inevitable and acceptable consequence for her, as long as it allows her to remain chosen. No matter what Nanami saw, she uses this memory to motivate herself to keep fighting in her duel with Utena.

Bottom line: Nanami's ability to control other people is uncertain and never permanent. Nanami doesn't understand that individuals have the most power over their own actions. Even if she does try to force them to comply, unless she weighs the box down, people are ultimately always going to act according to their own whims. The swarm will swarm, and Touga will treat Nanami however Touga wants to. The only person Nanami can control successfully is herself.

[butchbiscuit]

this sucks so bad i need to [remembers that The Work relies upon my continuance and i may not end my own life through suicide or through carelessness] blow up the saint of duty

[butchbiscuit]

THS Mural Art

Some Mural art for The Heart Stone I posted earlier on Twitter. Bunch of foreshadowing and lore I’m giving away here hehe.

[butchbiscuit]

Oooogh I read a bad fic and now I think fandom is primarily an exercise in eliminating creativity again

[butchbiscuit]

CRINGE: The world is ending and you're in love with your best friend who is a nun. and your roots are showing.

[butchbiscuit]

CALL THE CURTAIN! RAISE THE ROOF!

[butchbiscuit]

Is Juri's problem really idealizing Shiori in some way? The prevailing interpretation I've seen is that Juri should accept she fell for a snake so she can remove Shiori from the pedestal of her love. Incidentally Ruka also shares this opinion. I disagree and I'm here to be a contrarian about it!

A nonzero number of takes base their "Juri idealizes Shiori" conclusion on the "innocently cruel" line, the interpretation being she's percieving Shiori's personality as sweet and innocent. But that's not what the line is getting at. Juri's emphasis here is not innocence as a synonym for purity, it's innocence as a synonym for ignorance and naivety. Both Utena and Shiori are "innocent" because they are unable to anticipate the queer dynamic, the deviant lesbian desire, that Juri is operating from, and "cruel" because, in their misunderstanding, they step on Juri's toes in unintentional ways.

Moreover the "innocently cruel" line does not imply that Juri thinks Shiori is an innocent person because, if anything, Juri does nothing but doubt Shiori throughout the series.

Even though we, the audience, know in retrospect that Shiori meant to fuck Juri up, the exact way she did it was a freak accident, and at this point in the story she has no idea that she managed to hurt her. Shiori is operating from a different understanding, one that assumes Juri's absolute conformity to and supremacy in heteronormative gender roles. Shiori's whole mission is proving her value over Juri on that axis, obviously because as a suppressed homosexual she feels insecure about her continuing obsession with Juri. She assumes "beating Juri" at attracting men will balance the scales-- render Juri's image less appealing, and hers more. And of course that would hurt Juri, who must value her success with boys so much. That lack of awareness is what Juri is referring to, and she's right here actually, about both Shiori and Utena-- they are unable to conceptualize desire for other women as a potential outcome, and in part it's because of this that they end up harming themselves and others.

At no point does Juri say anything positive about Shiori's personality or their friendship. She is unable to frame her ex-bestie's existence outside of the pain she's caused her. The narrative purposefully never tells us why she fell in love with her in the first place, or what their friendship was like. We don't know why she chose Shiori specifically, and that's part of the mystique of Juri's feelings and of their relationship, that the audience will never see who Shiori is outside of Juri's heartbreak. She could have a vibrant personality, but it's thoroughly obscured by the opacity of Juri's despair, and Ohtori 's miasma. Not to mention Shiori's own internalized homophobia, compulsory heterosexuality, and chosen constructed persona-- just like a lot of other bitches trapped in Ohtori. This is what the place does, it chews up queer teenagers and doesn't spit them out so much as it arranges them neatly into a series of possible stage roles.

Juri's current image of Shiori is of a witch. It's possible she used to think of her as a princess, sure, but then she inverted the role once Shiori acted out. If anybody's idolizing anybody, it's Shiori. She is the master of rendering other people into shining beacons!

I have more thoughts forming on how Juri's "casting" of Shiori plays out through her final duel (does Shiori's mistreatment by Ruka briefly return her to her role as a princess to Juri's gallant prince-- but this proves unsustainable or undesirable, because princehood makes her too vulnerable or liable to corruption?) but they're half-baked at this time.

I do think though that Juri's "miracle" might be "making [Shiori] understand [her] feelings" literally-- not necessarily having Shiori return them (though that idea looms over her including in her understanding of what a man could do in her place, thanks to Ruka for the reminder). The miracle may be finding some way for Shiori and others to understand who Juri actually is without making herself vulnerable or diminishing the ease with which she moves through the world. She doesn't want to get stabbed with those swords of hatred. So many people don't seem to understand her, yet Juri is terrified of embodying anything other than an impenetrable image of excellence...! Girl watch out!! You're just embodying the reason why Shiori resents you in the first place!!! Those swords are coming at you no matter what!!!

[butchbiscuit]

Vintage Chandler Sweatshirt/T-shirt

Vintage Chandler Yaoi Sweatshirt/T-shirt...

[butchbiscuit]

It's about time I drew something for the Chipped!DT AU!! Check out @chipped-dt for more content.

Traditional sketch digitized, colored digitally.

[butchbiscuit]

Guys guys guys guys

Look at this

It automatically saves evey fic you visit so you have a backup if the fic is ever erased. No more mysterious bookmarks lost forever.

Also if you go to the page of an erased fic, it not only gives you the option to check on ao3 saver in case you have it saved, but also in archive.org in case someone ever did a backup there.

And! It works on mobile.

[butchbiscuit]

bonus: