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[butteerfly]

just reading some sanitobio fic to take notes of what kind of boyfriend I do NOT want 🫴

[butteerfly]

Boys don't cry

he shouldn't cry

It was one of the first things he learned growing up in the underground. No one would listen to him, no one would comfort him, no one would care, they would beat him and destroy him for being so weak. Boys don't cry uncle Kenny said.

When he went up to the city, being surrounded by rich people and walls that protected him because he was prodigious, he thought that he would not have to swallow the lump in his throat anymore because there would be no reason to cry. He would have a house, a job, money and his friends, he did not aspire to anything else. But he was unlucky from the start, life hit him harder than ever, stabbing him and leaving him with a permanent bleeding wound. At least he had a job and a purpose to follow, he thought.

That was the last time he cried that he could remember, standing in the fresh blood of his friends, mixed with mud, bones and flesh from other cadets. It was nauseating just thinking about it. It wasn't even that he could cry like a child, the tears came out as he unleashed his colossal anger against the inhuman beast that took away everything that mattered to him. By the time he finished, he had just one tear left.

Now a long time had passed since that, he had matured, the battlefield had hardened him more than his childhood had. Even so, he had learned other things, he had begun to empathize with the people around him, he did not hate them for crying senseless deaths, he understood them, his heart softened for those people, yet not a tear came out of his eyes. Soldiers were soldiers, soldiers died, it was the main reason for being a soldier, to give your life for the sake of your land. That's why he understood Erwin perfectly when he asked them to give up their hearts, that's why he asked Erwin to give up on his dreams.

He wonders, would anyone mourn his death? Would anyone take the time to cry for him?

When Hange left to save him, he understood her and a part of him wanted to take her place, leave everything for the rest, but there was still a promise that tied him fiercely to the world, a promise that boiled his blood and gave him all the strength that also prevented him from crying. A desire that burned his flesh and filled him with enough rage to push himself forward and fulfill his promise, even when his body protested, mutilated and aching.

So when his sword slid cutting with the last strength he had, the lump he had pushed so hard returned to his throat, reminding him that he had a pending purpose, an act from which he could not escape. He no longer lived in the underworld, he had no friends left to protect, his promise had been fulfilled and the mission he carried on his back, the one that belonged to the survey corp from the beginning, It was successfully completed after so many years and deaths, under his name and that of the children he trained himself. pride? It wasn't the word he was looking for, not after all the blood spilled, it was a feeling that teetered between excitement and sadness, one that Levi recognized as a new kind of tiredness.

finally his body gave in to the passage of time

"boy's don't cry"

— fuck you Kenny

soon he found himself crying like a child

[butteerfly]

Gojo telling Geto before Geto’s death “We’ll see each other soon, right?” and then dying exactly a year later will be my villain origin story.

[butteerfly]

Levi's mind

Levi desperately needed sleep.

He was so tired, so exhausted that his body moved by the inertia of surviving, fainting seemed imminent, yet it never came, his spirit refused to give in, he assumed. As a soldier, if he could avoid being squashed by a titan or getting a bullet between his eyebrows by an enemy soldier, he didn't have probably not much more than a year, alive by the will to live… well it was uncertain.

Levi felt deep down that if he continued at the pace he was taking he was going to die. the cause? It wasn't his problem, he would be dead before he realized that the last strength of his body was fading, the consequences? it was a totally different story. He hated to be aware of it, but he knew the responsibility he carried on his shoulders, he knew that at a certain point he was essential, he was one of the sharpest knives in Paradis, . If he died so suddenly, everyone would be just as bewildered as he had been many years before when Kenny left him to fend for himself. He didn't like to think about it.

Besides, you were never going to forgive him and that was more than a big problem for his moral conscience.

Two years had passed since, due to your health, you left the army without looking back, trying to bury next to the bodies of your comrades all the memories that you had left of the survey corp. You made a decision that privately Levi envied because stopping cutting was not a luxury that he could afford being the knife of the nation, A decision for which Levi resented you as much as he understood you. You never talked about why you did it, although both he and Hange suspected that Erwin's death had affected you a little more than you openly expressed. You couldn't look Armin in the eye even years later, that was enough evidence they needed to confirm it.

Levi understood it more than anyone, because with each passing day the remorse he had for himself increased every time he thought he had made a mistake in choosing the idealistic young man over the experienced commander, his friend, your fiancé.

till the present day he still cannot close his eyes and not see you completely defeated, begging him to please save the man who was so close to fulfilling his dream. Little did you know of the last conversation that the most important men in your life had, little did you know that Levi had killed Erwin before the man stopped breathing, it wasn't as if he was going to confess it anyways, paradoxically he couldn't find the strength to face you.

Life had been so unfair, so cruel and merciless. From time to time Levi thinks about what would have happened if both of you had settled for the city underground, if you had not been ambitious to see the starry sky, little did he know that the price of a such clear sky was the blood of your friends,

Maybe Levi should have insisted on staying down there. That way now he wouldn't have to suffer for not being able to get the guilt off his chest, if he had insisted maybe now you'd be happily married, running the illegal business or being a bounty hunters. Perhaps, if only he had insisted a little more, Farlan and Isabel would still be alive.

maybe he could sleep.

Maybe he would have the one he needs most by his side.

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I have the feeling that I am wrong in some tenses. anyways I hope you liked it :D

[butteerfly]

Happy anniversary to the best hack n slash series ever!!

[butteerfly]

[butteerfly]

Levi's Heart prt. 2

The void melts into his soul when one of his comrades dies. Everything seems to lose meaning, sleeping is impossible, food seems tasteless, breathing is tedious, and even living doesn't seem right. Levi falls into a contradiction, because his mind knows that he has to move on, it won't be the last time, he repeats himself over and over again , but his heart falls, it breaks, it hurts. He hates himself for this weakness that he does not control and he vows never to show it.

he is fully aware that he can't be hopeless.

Life doesn't allow him to be vulnerable. Levi doesn't say anything, but he feels the weight on his shoulders, he knows that everyone leans on him, everyone has him in their sights, everyone treats him like he's the last hope, everyone expects something from him and always expects more. But he begins to crumble, begins to drown, he is chained to a responsibility that is in his blood, just as Kenny once warned him "the good man's life doesn't benefit us brat, in the end they will always squeeze your brains out with that body of yours".

Sometimes he wonders how Erwin can accept a responsibility he was not born with, but chose instead. And above all he wonders, where is the strength that everyone exclaims that he has? because he feels totally abandoned by that virtue.

is levi the person or is levi the force?

Does he even have the right to step aside when the weight of humanity on his back begins to break his bones?

he begins to lose himself, even though he never had the chance to find out who he was.

But something curious eases this circle of pain from which he can't escape. Something that he never thought he deserved and still came into his life without him noticing. Levi knows enough about the world to understand that magic is a lie created for children, but you seem to defy all that logic, because when you enter the scene it's as if everything around him paused, only for his eyes to focus on you, to look at you, to adore you. Levi describes it as a magnetism, a force stronger than him that inevitably draws him to you and he surrenders completely. Just by looking into your eyes, Levi feels his heart and mind make a truce of peace, an agreement to completely surrender to your soul, your body, your arms.

There is no safer place for him than in your hands, his heart only relaxes in your held and all the strength that represents him seems to be insignificant. because he knows every time he doesn't find himself in his strength, he finds himself in you.

[butteerfly]

taylor swift’s sad songs but it’s attack on titan.

just something that I have going around in my mind, hope you like, quite angst.

the lyrics belong to taylor 🫶

levi-eren-reiner-ymir-mikasa-bertolt-erwin

Levi Ackerman: "Peace"

"I never had the courage of my convictions, as long as danger is near, and it's just around the corner, darling, 'Cause it lives in me"

"All these people think love's for show, but I would die for you in secret"

"Your integrity makes me seem small"

"Give you the silence that only comes when two people understand each other"

"I'm a fire, and I'll keep your brittle heart warm"

"But the rain is always gonna come if you're standing with me"

"Would it be enough if I could never give you peace?"

Eren Jeager: "my tears ricochet"

" I loved you, I swear I loved you, 'till my diying day"

"And you're the hero flying around, saving face"

"I didn't have it in myself to go with grace"

"if I'm dead to you, why are you at the wake? cursing my name, whishing i stayed"

"when I'd fight, you used to tell me I was brave"

"And I can go anywhere I want, anywhere i want just not home"

"You had to kill me, but it killed you just the same"

Reiner Braun: "Hoax"

"My sleepless night, my win-less fight, this has frozen my ground"

"Your faithless love's the only hoax I believe in"

"You know I left a part of me back in New York, you knew the hero died, so what's the movie for? you knew it still hurts underneath my scars from when they pulled me apart"

"My only one, my kingdom come undone, my broken drum, you have beaten my heart"

Ymir: "Sad Beautiful Tragic"

"Long handwritten note deep in your pocket"

"Words, how little they mean, when you're a little too late"

"In dreams i meet you in warm conversation, we both wake, in lonely beds, in different cities"

"you've got your demons and darlin' they all look like me"

"Hang up, give up, for the life of us we can't get back"

"We had a beautiful magic love there, what a sad beautiful tragic love affair"

Mikasa Ackerman: "This is me trying"

"I've been having a hard time adjusting, I had the shiniest wheels, now they're rusting"

"I didn't know if you'd care if I came back, I have a lot of regrets about that"

"Could've followed my fears all the way down and maybe I don't quite know what to say, but I'm here in your doorway"

"They told me all of my cages were mental, so I got wasted like all my potential"

"I ended up here pouring out my heart to a stranger, but I didn't pour the whiskey"

"I just wanted you to know that this is me trying, at least I'm trying"

Erwin Smith: "Coney Island"

"If I can't relate to you anymore then who am i related to?"

"Did i shatter you?"

"Lost again with no surprises, disappointments, close your eyes and it gets colder and colder when the sun goes down"'

"The question pounds my head 'What's a lifetime of achievement?'"

"will you forgive my soul when you're too wise to trust me and too old to care?"

"Did I paint your bluest skies the darkest gray?"

"And when I got into the accident the sight that flashed before me was your face"

"The fast times, the bright lights, the merry go, sorry for not making you my centerfold"

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when i hear "my tears ricochet" eren jumps in my mind 😭 i have cried a lot

[butteerfly]

I like to think that Levi cares about Mikasa because he knows that she is the only family he has left. 😔🤍

[butteerfly]

Every time I listen Taylor Swift's "would've could've should've" I always imagine a scenario where you fall in love with Erwin Smith, but there's a big age difference and your relationship isn't the best, and when he doesn't come back it's hard for you to let go of that love. It's even harder when you think about what would have happened if you hadn't done certain things that led you to fall in love with him

It's like a mix between that song and all to well because I can imagine him saying "if it we had been closer in age, maybe it would've been fine"

also "would've could've should've" reminds me of mikasa's relationship with eren 💀

[butteerfly]

DATING SNK BOYS

just going back to customs <3 actually this headcanon is more like your love story was with each one, i hope you appreciate it

¡¡ mayor spoilers !! s1/2/3

levi ackerman, erwin smith, eren jeager

LEVI ACKERMAN

He thought he was made for a lonely life, but meeting you changed many of his perspectives.

your love story began with a forced coexistence

he was frustrated at having to work alongside a new recruit from the military police

but your quick efficiency quite surprised him

the way you protected everyone during the expeditions caught his attention

then spontaneously you started having midnight talks

he never imagined coinciding with a person as much as he does with you

appreciates that you have left the military police to contribute to humanity through your bravery

He is a very reserved man so discovering his feelings was not an easy task, and making him talk about it was even more difficult

One of the things he likes about you is your ability to surprise him in the most unexpected ways.

you always look flawless according to him

tea tastes different if he shares it with you

He secretly enjoys when you come to his office to complete paperwork with him, sometimes loneliness tires him

He is not a man of words, his love language is acts of service and simple gifts

he is too independent in practically every aspect of his life except with you

He is very overprotective, he does not do it in a possessive way, the world in which you live forces him to take care of you

he partially disagree with you being in the survey corp, but he knows that if he met you there he won't be able to convince you to leave.

he is scared of you because you make him feel vulnerable without any explanation

not into pda, but in the privacy of your room he always prefers you to be on top of him

In terms of sex, I think Levi would agree with whatever you want to do as long as you guys are out of duty.

he is quite shy about that topic due to his lack of experience

when you sleep next to him he could look at your face for hours without getting tired

he really likes how you smell

he's actually your squad captain

your relationship caused an interesting gossip in paradis when it was discovered

hange always asks you when you are going to have children because she wants to meet her nephews and levi always looks at her horrified

he trains you personally and mercilessly because he doesn't want to lose you for anything in the world

when the female titan appearedthe fear he had for you still sends shivers down his spine

whispers I love you

one of his most intimate moments was when he had a panic attack in the middle of a storm, you witnessed his pain and helped him overcome it that day.

It was very difficult for him but he confessed to you what the memory of the death of his best friends made him feel and you comforted him like no one else

he cannot afford to be weak with humanity, he is the strongest soldier of humanity, he has a duty, but with you... your side is the only place where he feels that he is Levi Ackerman and not a soldier

dating Levi is constantly comforting each other, in order to cope with your existence in the world that you lived in

EREN JEAGER

you met when you were just babies, you grew up together those peaceful years

Eren thought you were the cutest girl/boy in Paradis and he continue to think the same for the rest of his life

when your life was turned upside down in a split second you both found peace in each other's embrace.

you share a deep hatred for those who took away your freedom

the devotion you feel for him is immeasurable

from the beginning you always thought like him, the survey corp was your path before he too decided he wanted to go there

Eren confessed his love to you during training, your first kiss was adorable and awkward

dating him back then was a volatile experience, watching him die and come back as a titan stressed you out too much.

you supported him in all his decisions when he found out he was a titan

you swore loyalty..

the latent fear that he will die again haunts you

I think Eren is one of the passionate kisses

he is a hormonal teenager, has a lot of energy

He didn't mind showing you love in public

lots of kisses on the back of your hand

would be a jealous man

when you broke three ribs fighting the female titan he almost went crazy.

He is the type of boyfriend who when you get sick does not leave your side

the shiganshina operation was a before and after in your relationship

when you came back you knew something was wrong just by looking at his eyes

dating him used to be fun, dangerous adventure, you laughed and hugged

But now dating him is a permanent state of alert

he started to be more distant and aggressive towards you progressively, suddenly he no longer kisses you in public and you no longer remember when he said I love you for the last time

he broke up with you but refuses to let you go, you became so dependent on each other

There's a growing anxiety between you that you can't fix and he doesn't seem to care

suddenly he asks you to leave the army and stay away from your friends... and you listen to him because you love him more than your life

Before leaving you forever, he made sure to leave you in the safest place in the world and kiss you for the last time, without giving you any explanation.

dating eren is to miss what his love once was

ERWIN SMITH

Erwin remembers being instantly attracted to your rebelliousness

the way you questioned your superiors to keep your comrades safe made him want to talk to you, you look interesting.

He started filling out paperwork with you, then walking next to you, "accidentally" bumping into you, then inviting you for tea.

when he asked you what you thought about what lay beyond the wall your answer amazed him

he knew you were the one at that moment, but his head refused to accept it as a defense mechanism

the tension that existed between both of you was overwhelming

you initiated your first kiss, making him totally lose himself with you

It didn't take you long to formalize and start walking hand in hand in public.

It was certainly inappropriate but when your superiors asked for an explanation Erwin said that working together in this way was more beneficial for the team and consequently for humanity, everyone fell for his speech

you are the couple that talks about totally strange topics that the rest don't even think about

he taught you to play chess

you taught him a card game that your family had taught you

you recommend books to each other

in fact on your days off you go to a small park to read together, usually you end up sleeping on top of him

he thinks you would be a lovely bride ...

he gave you a ring but never asked the question

you understood why

When you are on duty, you are not distracted much because your obligation is serious, but as soon as night comes...

before he was the commander you used to sneak into his room to sleep next to him

passionate kisses against the wall

In terms of sex, your greatest activity is when you return from the expeditions...you relieve stress that way

believes that red roses are the perfect flowers for you

your heart almost jumped out of your mouth when he lost his arm

he could listen to you talk all day, no matter if he is tired, badly hurt or stressed, your voice is his ground wire

you never questioned him as a commander, after all he was your superior, his speeches left you teary-eyed

you were so proud of the man you fell in love with and dreamed of marrying

until the shiganshina operation came

he ordered you as commander to stay in the rose wall, in case no one of the survey corps is left alive, but you knew that was an excuse, you couldn't believe that he was doing that to you

you begged him on your knees to let you go whit them, he didn't give in but you didn't listen to him either, after all you always had a rebellious spirit

he was speechless when he saw you among the troops, but he couldn't be mad at you on the possible day of his death, he assigned you to armin arlert's group anyway

"this could be the end of everything so why don't we go somewhere only we know" 😭

The last time you saw him in the eyes will always stay in your head.

you felt your world fall when he finally left

dating erwin is having his spirit and courage tattooed on your heart for the rest of your life

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I hope you liked my vision <3 I accept any ideas and opinions

[butteerfly]

crying, sobbing and throwing up 🤧❤️‍🩹

My big three in attack on Titan ❤️❤️❤️

🌻Twitter 🌻

[butteerfly]

“my six eyes tell me you’re suguru geto but my soul knows otherwise” is such a raw line that you’d think it’s from a satosugu fanfiction but it’s actually from satosugu canon

[butteerfly]

mood

every photo of me is proof that I have a physical form, which I reject. I am a concept

[butteerfly]

levi heart

Something unknown inside Levi was transformed from the day he met you. He used to be stoic, tough and serious because the circumstances of his life compelled him. He used to be indifferent when things did not concern him, that was his way of surviving.

but you..

He couldn't even explain it, he wasn't even able to recognize what it was. The only thing he understood about his feelings was that he didn't want to let go of your hand.

The only thing he had was the certainty that he would protect humanity to protect you and the memory of those he lost.

Because you forced him to seek the peace that his heart lacked.

[butteerfly]

I just want to CRY

“‘Cause it’s a good time when I’m with you.”

Pairing: Tōru Oikawa x Reader

Word Count: 587

Warnings: Toxic relationship and ideals, Possessiveness, SlightYandere!Oikawa, A small bit of smut if you squint, I also think misogyny

Introduction: Did you have any other choice but to dance with the devil?

How could anything stop him from getting what he wants?

He was the perfect guy in everyone’s eyes. Keeping his reputation clean and flawless is his specialty and nobody in the audience dares to point out how unnervingly great he was or how fake it all seemed when he was the master of the show.

Tōru Oikawa was the most arrogantly insecure person and everyone bought the tickets to his act and danced to the beat he played.

“Nobody can love you like me, (Y/n)-chan.”

“You’ll never be good enough. You must’ve hit the jackpot to have someone like me with you.”

“Maybe they’re right. You’re just...so average, (Y/n)-chan. Try a little more to be prettier next time!”

The little jabs and judgments from someone who supposedly loved you left you hollowed and shattered. His sour compliments were as bitter as the sugary insults, which made you want to vomit as you laid awake to think about how it all ended like this.

There was no escape from his social climb.

His insecurities projected into his paranoid mindset of how everyone seemed to be the better match for you yet his arrogance refused to let you go.

Oikawa promised to marry you, going as far as declaring it to anyone who asked about your relationship. He vowed he would make you his little wifey, his adorable spouse who would wait for his return with a clean house and warm meals. They laughed and called it cute and funny, but they failed to see the subtle seriousness in his voice or how fearful your smile became.

Some people saw little through the veil and, bless their souls, tried to warn you. They were weirded out when you laughed in their face as they told you their concerns.

You couldn’t help it. Was the act of an innocent and naive partner you put up so convincing? Did they really not think that you know all of this? Did they think you were so dumb you didn’t see through his manipulation?

You knew everything. You saw everything. Yet you entertained the crowd with Oikawa. You played the show alongside him cause what else could you do when even the lights couldn’t stop him?

He swore to you when he was fucking you he would kill before he let you go. The gruffness of his voice and the weight of his words crushed you, soon the dull pleasure you felt a moment ago became numb.

That night, you cried. Your usual quiet shell cracked as your broken voice asked him why. He can have everything he wants so why did he choose you to torture?

Oikawa scoffed, his pace not faltering. Your tears spurred him on. He went harder and harder and your sobs grew louder.

He didn’t answer you that night. Or the next. Or even a week later. Oikawa ignored you each time and twisted your body and mind to fit his needs.

But one time when he thought you were asleep, as his fingers gently stroked your hair and the other hand wiped the remnant of tears, he whispered his reason.

And it was so foul and horrid, the gods above so appalling for creating someone like him.

You started to cry in the arms of the boy who crushed you and loved you in the most poisonous way as the very same fingers that never cared about your well-being comforted you.

“Because I have a wonderfully good time when I’m with you.”

[butteerfly]

freedom

Hawks does not remember his childhood with a smile.

Growing up in an unstable family, with a troubled father and depressed mother, on the brink of extreme and unhealthy poverty, there were few reasons why Keigo smiled long ago. As a child he always believed that he was going to be a villain, a bad guy, like his father, it was something he took for granted, his soul was going to be corrupted like his parents.

But ... maybe then he would be free.

And for a moment, he almost tastes freedom on the tip of his tongue, but that stormy night, in which his little heart decided to save those people from their catastrophic end like the heroes he saw on television, changed everything.

The destiny that approached the life of the little winged child, after having carried out that little heroic deed, became completely dark. And without wanting or realizing it, little Keigo had locked himself in a golden cage.