buuuuuuuutttttsssss

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Not going to lie I can feel myself getting bad again and I don’t know what to do about it

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I am going to put this out into the universe- I would love to work with BTS one day as a makeup artist or stylist or something 🙏🏻

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Honestly doing all of this research into ways to travel and maybe teach in Korea has made me feel so good. Even just thinking about leaving is such a positive thing- I can’t wait to be out of here lol. I know it will be a long time coming (if I want to go to Korea to teach I need a bachelors) but it will be completely worth it. Also Chellaman and Mary V are probably the most beautiful couple I have ever seen and I hope one day to have something like that.

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Kristin (Claudia’s mom) came to visit today with her father. It was kind of weird seeing her. Not in a bad way, but it’s just strange to be around her and Claudia not be there. My relationship with Kristin pretty much revolves completely around my friendship with Claudia. Idk dude it was nice to see her, but I just feel kind of off.

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Okay but like how am I so FuCKiNg CuTE?

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I am seriously considering one day getting a stranger things themed sleeve like I just love the show so much and it has some beautiful imagery that would make for some great tattoos

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I have silver glitter all over my face because a stripper motor boated me and she has silver glitter all over her chest.... best moment of my life

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I love myself more than I hate you

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So surprise turns out Micah is more of an awful, lying, piece of shit than I already thought he was so that’s not fun. But I’m too fucking good for him and he didn’t deserve everything I gave him so I’m going to be alright and find someone fucking better than him.

[buuuuuuuutttttsssss]

Update: We went to the movie and got taco bell and I had a good time. He didn’t make any moves or anything so I think he gets that we’re just friends. I had a really fun time actually.

Also I went into Planned Parenthood with Crissy today and it felt really good to have her supporting me through all of this. She really is an amazing friend.

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Honestly having a coworker who is interested in me is kind of stressful and annoying. Like he’s a nice dude and all, but we’re just friends! And I’m pretty sure he doesn’t have like a crush on me or anything- he just wants someone to fool around with casually. WELL IM NOT THAT BITCH SO FUCK THAT SHIT. We’re going to a movie tonight and I really really hope it’s not awkward.

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Holy fucking shit I really miss not having to worry about anyone being interested in me cuz I was in a relationship, but now that I'm single I JUST WANT Y'ALL TO LEAVE ME ALONE LIKE SHIT UNLESS YOU WANT TO BE MY FRIEND IM GONNA HAVE TO ASK YOU TO BACK THE FUCK OFF

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So Micah is a cheating piece of shit..... but I'm going to be okay. I'm going to get tested and treated and I'm going to be okay.

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So while Micah is a piece of shit and my may have cheated on me and given me an std, Sierra and Crissy have been awesome. They are so supportive of me and Sierra even shared her experiences with stds. I don't feel like I'm alone which makes this whole process a little easier.

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I like that “good morning, princess” / “morning baby” kinda relationship. The no games, great communication, lots of sex, lots of kissing, lots of cuddling, lots of flirting, lots of being goofy kind of relationship. The kind that makes you want to run 100 miles, read books, clean up your bad habits kind of love.

[buuuuuuuutttttsssss]

I gotta admit even though I really miss talking to Micah and I really want to see him, I'm actually feeling pretty good lately. I still get upset sometimes talking about the break up, but I feel good about myself and have become okay with the idea of him not being in my life like he was before. I still love him very much and I know that can't go away overnight so in the meantime I'm just enjoying not feeling miserable.

[buuuuuuuutttttsssss]

I gotta admit even with greasy hair and a giant sweater I have been feeling really good about myself lately