bxnespeachy - Tumblr blog

[bxnespeachy]

Any Inconvenience At All:

My Eating Disorder Brain: This wouldn’t have happened if you were skinnier. just saying

[bxnespeachy]

i’m just disgusting

wow, look at you, crawling back to tumblr.. how’s that gunna help, huh? b i n g e e a t i n g - you’re honestly just a mistake at this point, if you can’t even control yourself to not eat what do you think browsing this platform is gunna do, huh? you’re such a disappointment man, your friend.. you told her about your binge eating issue, she’s apparently worried about you- worried? about a f a t g i r l

yeah, you heard me- fat girl. boys thighs don’t sag like a christmas tree doll, wake up. she’s only doing it out of pity, if she actually cared about you maybe she’d help you? instead of encouraging you to eat... filthy liars, they just don’t want more competition.. don’t they now? wanna make her worry? wanna make her scream and beg for you to get help? prove it.. give her something to worry about, starve yourself doll, become the boy you always wanted to be, deathly skinny, ghostly pale... don’t you want others to care about you? to admire how beautiful you actually are?

what are you waiting for then? and don’t you dare

don’t

you

fucking

dare

even think about eating after you’ve finished writing this-

you know it won’t help, go work out- of course you won’t though

because you’re just a fat girl, fat girls are lazy, fat girls are just disgusting and prove to have no space in this tiny tiny world. well, ms tubs- why not go back to the ocean where you belong? the whales will welcome you surely.. i mean, it’ll be quite easy to blend in, so no issue there.

why- why even bother calling me to help you anymore? you just don’t care do you? you have a problem? no.. your problem is binge eating! that’s the only eating disorder fat people can have, remember love, fat girls don’t have eating disorders. good, now repeat that several times in your head- do you get it now? do you finally understand that you’re fat?

no more hiding what you eat from your parents... from your friends.. from your own self.

you are in control

and until you stop all the crap

stop all the bullshit

you’ll never make it to where you wanna be, fat forever my dude

once a fat girl always a fat girl

guess you like how your thighs sag as you stand, extend as you sit down- your arm fat swaying around as if it were a leaf blowing in the wind, but no, it’s just your own body weight shifting it as you breath heavily from walking a few minutes in your class- everyone looking at you with disgust, the stares, piercing into your back, into your fat, snickering, picking piece by piece- destroying the little sanity you had left, had left to breath... don’t you hate it? don’t you want to make it change? don’t you want to do something besides sitting on your fat ass waiting as if you’ll magically become skinny?

ha... i would pity you, but that’s just gross- how could i pity a fat girl? someone who doesn’t even try to be skinny? try and w o r k- try to get there- what were you at last time we checked? 196lbs..? 1 9 6 lbs???

what a joke- you’re probably all the way back up to 210lbs, actually wait! probably much more- so stop lying to yourself, accept me- embrace me

i can help you, i can save you- i can make you the person you want to be, the sexy hiding beneath all that fat and flab

you only have to embrace me, take control; and work your ass off day after day- hungry to bed hungry to rise makes a girl a smaller size?

not, bloated to bed bloated to rise- just gives you bigger thighs..

you got it all wrong missy, just ask yourself this-

are you happy being fat?

or would you prefer to be skinny?

talk to me when you’ve made up your mind doll

[bxnespeachy]

mood af

[bxnespeachy]

[did i just call myself out? yes. yes I did]

[bxnespeachy]

guess who binged on fuCKING APPLES

[bxnespeachy]

the way my thighs jiggle whenever i walk makes me want to fucking kill myself

[bxnespeachy]

waking up to stars on the ceiling and bruises on pale skin and battered feet on & off the scale and almonds in ziploc baggies and bite marks on fingers and hair down the drain and measuring crunches by the spots left on the spine and enough water to drown organs and eating an apple with a knife and fork and battered feet on & off the scale and desperate hands clutching ribs and standing up & the world goes dark and carrying an emergency rice cake in your purse for weak spells and enough green tea to drown organs and how many calories are in toothpaste and whatever nail polish color covers yellow and battered feet on & off the scale and is today the day my heart gives out and how many calories do you burn when you sneeze and pillows squeezed between thighs and waking up in a new body everyday and fingers clasped around wrists and notebooks filled with numbers and purple crescents below the eyes and accidentally knocking your elbow on your hip bone and being afraid of your own reflection and i’m not hungry or i already ate or i’ll eat later or i don’t feel well and oxygen that tastes like splenda and battered feet on & off the scale

[bxnespeachy]

My mum just said “STOP FUCKING EATING!” “STARVE YOURSELF!” and people wonder why I have an eating disorder

[bxnespeachy]

*TW* NO MORE EXCUSES *TW*

the end of a school year has finally come so it’s the best time lose a lot of weight bc i can no longer look at myself. i’m done with constant binge eating but i still have bad days from time to time. i’ve already lost some kilos but i wanna reach my goal weight by the end of the holiday (i get back to school in September 1). so let’s start this amazing journey of restrictions and fasting! i do not promote any ed. this is just my motivation.

WHY TO BE SKINNY:

to wear tight or loose-fitting clothes and always look amazing

to be asked how i did it

to shock others and prove them i can be skinny

to feel confident

not to be ashamed to eat in public

to look good on the beach

to have a flat stomach and not to see it when i look down

to look like a model

to feel envious looks whenever I enter a class

to hear i look good

to have amazing collar bones, fingers, small waist, thigh gap and hip bones

PLAN:

daily limit: 600 calories

exercise: 2 km run, whole body workouts

water: at least 3 liters

vitamins

KEEP MYSELF MOTIVATED:

pain is temporary.

don’t do anything to regret it at the end of the day

remember how much you have achieved so far

imagine the surprised faces when they see you

DON’T BINGE!

count to 100 really slow

is it worth all the effort you put in losing weight?

drink water and herbal tea

chew gum

talk with someone

clean the house

do something in the garden

look at some thinspo

go outside and take a walk/ go running

sleep

listen to the music/ podcasts/ audiobooks

watch films/ series

take a shower

clean face and brush your teeth

do maths tasks

read something

eat ice

eventually choose safe food like: cucumbers, pickles, lettuce, tomatoes, cherries or grapefruits

SW: 159lbs/ 72kg

CW: 137lbs/ 62kg

GW: 110lbs / 50kg

[bxnespeachy]

🌹no jumping/silent workout list🌹

︶︶ ⸝⸝ 🍑

hello! 🌸 i wanted to make a workout list that you can do without jumping since a lot of people live in apartments or want to be quiet in general. you can add/remove anything if you’d like to! this one is for my personal use and preference.

100 crunches

40 squats

40 russian twists {20 each side}

25 butt bridges

20 mountain climbers

25 leg raises {laying on your back}

40 side lunges {20 each side}

45 second wall sit

45 second plank

30 second cobra stretch

{the pic isn’t me}

stay safe lovely.💕

[bxnespeachy]

I’m 99 pounds again fuckers 🎉

Rb for good luck loosing any regained weight

[bxnespeachy]

someone: have you eaten today

me, in the corner with my 53rd cup of green tea, knowing full well i’ve been fasting for so long all time has blended together and my body has started turning to dark matter as energy

me: uhhhhhhhhh

[bxnespeachy]

When people start to like you more after losing weight

[bxnespeachy]

I’m starting this 10 week challenge. Whose with me?

I’m starting this and going to try my hardest to continue this for the next 10 weeks. I’m starting today (August 19, 2019) and will do this workout everyday after school. I will eat only dinner (and maybe a small lowkey snack if I feel faint). I will check in every Monday and update you on my consistency, weight, mesurements (when I get a measuring ribbon) and anything else that Id like to. Stay safe, love you :)

August 19 - Weight: 119.4

[bxnespeachy]

GUESS WHOS DOWN 11 LBS IN A WEEK??

Anyways this is a good luck spell, from your friendly neighborhood Satan. Lose 11 lbs in a week, like to charge reblog to cast.

[bxnespeachy]

2020

New year new me, say it every year but this year it’s different. Why? Because there’s one person who decides that and it’s you. Only you can choose to make it reality. Say it with me

I

Am

In

Control.

[bxnespeachy]

Some tips/ideas

An americano is only 15cals for a venti and is a great energy boost

My fitness pal is an great app and tracks your steps with your phone minusing cals you burn as you walk

Need a snack? skinny pop is popcorn that tastes so good and is 150cals for 3 3/4 cup. Great substitute for chips!

Your body needs time to digest food properly so try to finish eating three hours before bed

Drink a full glass of water before eating and sip one one inbetween bites, remember the brain needs 20mins to register that you’re full

Fiber!!! It’s great for digestive health and low cals

Eat higher calorie foods earlier in the day so you have more time to burn them off

For motivation save $1 for every meal you don’t have, then reward yourself with a non food present (like those new cute clothes that finally fit you)

To keep suspicion off your ed, don’t eat in secret!! Eat what you do in front of people

When you have stomach pangs picture your stomach eating away at your fat, picture it that’s what you’re feeling

Stay safe✨✨