by-moondown

[by-moondown]

i daydream stupid things like. a life i want to live. dinner nights with friends. warmth. the crinkle your eyes do when you smile. a life in which ive not known loneliness. dried lavender. belongingness. smudged kohl.

[by-moondown]

when will they ask me if im fine? when will they ever text me first? when will i be the one to leave first? when will they be the one to wait? when will they be the curious one? when will it be their turn to reach out again and again and again? im tired too. im sick too. look at me too.

[by-moondown]

and im so deeply lonely that there is a hollow where my heart should be and i yearn and yearn

[by-moondown]

amd what I'll remember of this summer is the imprint of lychee skin on my palm, my finger wrapped around the fruits and the bitter-sweet-sour of peppery lemonade and armfuls of ice candies and the shots of cheap vodka we took quietly giggling as her parents slept in the next room and passing peri peri fries to my mom as she drives us home and making pasta and pasta and pasta again and mangoes - both raw and ripe, juice running down my chin and bhel in the biggest bowl i could lay my hands, our eyes tearing up from the spicy chutney and a burger so big i had one half for lunch and the other for dinner and squids fried golden and crisp and chhas delicately spiced with crushed chillies, coriander, garlic and salt and an orea mcflurry for old times sake and cheese omelets i made for my brother and frozen watermelon topped with lemon juice and chilli powder and hands sticky from peeling jackfruit

[by-moondown]

i asked my parents for a psych appointment because i had a breakdown and was so tired of my brain not working and then i forgot about it for 1.5 years and if that's not adhd i dont even know what is

[by-moondown]

hey has anyone figured out why is it that when you're on the bed trying to sleep, every way you've fucked your life up comes to mind, and you want to change the world, but when you wake up, you go right back to doing nothing and the cycle continues.

[by-moondown]

teenage friendships are so real like i absolutely hate your parents too and you would kill my middle school bully no questions asked. ♡

[by-moondown]

okay what is it about eating fruits that make it seem so royal and suddenly I'm a prince with a basket of the best figs in the kingdom with juice running down my chin in a meadow in the mellow heat

[by-moondown]

gifted kids with undiagnosed adhd who never learned how to study cuz they never needed to but now they're failing say ayo