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1 hr studies of London Spy screencaps in ps, with a very poorly chosen brush.

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Just when you thought it can’t get worse, always it does

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i’m losing my mind

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50/50 (2011)

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“Years ago a friend of mine had a dream about a strange invention; a staircase you could descend deep underground, in which you heard recordings of all the things anyone had ever said about you, both good and bad. The catch was, you had to pass through all the worst things people had said before you could get to the highest compliments at the very bottom. There is no way I would ever make it more than two and a half steps down such a staircase, but I understand its terrible logic: if we want the rewards of being loved we have to submit to the mortifying ordeal of being known.”

— I Know What You Think of Me, Tim Kreider for the New York Times

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Find your REAL Angel name

• First two letters of your last name • First vowel of your first name • Third letter of your middle name (or parent’s first name if you don’t have a middle name • Last consonant of your last name • Add IEL or EL to the end!

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IM AT A WORK MEETIBNG AND THIS ABSOLUTE BASTARD OF A MAN IS EATING AN APPLE BOTTOM-DOWN CORE AND ALL. JUST FUCKING CRUNCHING AWAY LIKE THATS HOW HUMANS EAT APPLES.

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Rose and Carnation for the ask thing! :)

CARNATION: If I handed you a concert ticket right now, who would you want to be the performer?

wow this is such a good question frk. definitely my chemical romance 2011 era, i would literally sell my soul to see them perform live. other performers i would choose would be arctic monkeys and the strokes.

ROSE: Are you currently in love with someone?

yes. maybe love is the word replacing a word that means me caring so much about him that the oxygen supply in my lungs feels particularly acute. i worry about him so much that it distracts me from all things rational.  and i know he doesn't reciprocate feelings and i don't think he ever will, but i'm okay with that, i just always want to be there to support him. i want him to rant to me in his car, and to give me hugs whenever he needs them, or lean on my shoulder when his arms get too tired from holding the heavy hands of depression on his back. so yes, i love him.

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what skam did for me and what i learnt from it.

SEASON ONE: EVA

- you have to figure out who you are as a person before you can offer yourself to others

- learn to trust the people you love

- earn the trust of the people you love

- never turn down the chance/the idea of meeting new people (vilde and sana)

- lisa’s laugh is the purest thing in this world and i love her

- MARLON’S EYEBROWS COULD PROVIDE SHADE FOR A SMALL SUBURBAN TOWN

SEASON TWO: NOORA (my favourite season)

- everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. be kind. always.

- if you believe you have been sexually assaulted go to the police straight away

- confide in those you love

- THAT NOORA IS MY FUCKING STYLE ICON

- thomas’ smile. need i say more?

- about halfway through this season, i knew i wanted to learn the language and that i wanted to go to norway, and possibly live there one day.

- that “nei, vilde.” would be part of my everyday vocab (and quite the conversation starter for people who haven’t seen the show!)

- mennesker trenger mennesker. i live by this now. it’s brought me so much closer to the people in my life. 

SEASON THREE: ISAK 

- okay. first. TARJEI. SANDVIK. MOE. 

- never be closed minded towards learning about different mental illnesses

- not being sure of your sexuality is 100% okay

- eskild’s entire speech completely changed my life.  

- all the parallels to romeo + juliet re-sparked my love for filmmaking

-  livet er nå

- MAGNUS. MY SON.

- alt er love

SEASON FOUR: SANA

- jealousy is the most toxic human emotion and it sucks

- made me realise how important faith is to those who have it. before this i was such an asshole towards people who subscribed to a religion, and it makes me sick to look back on it. i’m not religious for many reasons, but i believe those who are are better off than me. 

- MARLON’S ENTIRE CLOSING MONOLOGUE  IS GOING TO BE PERFORMED AT MY FUNERAL I STG.  

- it made me realise that i cannot take my friends and family for granted and i love them all with every fibre of my being.

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matt is a mood

Arctic Monkeys, Oct 11th 2011, @ the Tabernacle , Atlanta GA

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Flower Ask

DAISY:How old were you when you had your first kiss?

CARNATION:If I handed you a concert ticket right now, who would you want to be the performer?

JASMINE:What color looks best on you?

FOXGLOVE:Name three facts about your family?

ALLIUM:What’s the best thing you can cook?

ORANGE BLOSSOM:If you could pick the gender and appearance of your child, would you?

CALLA LILY:If you died right now, what song would you want to play at your funeral?

POINSETTIA:Favorite holiday dish?

OXLIP:Would you ever get into a long distance relationship?

PRIMROSE:Favorite kind of soup?

DAFFODIL:What’s the most thoughtful present you’ve ever received?

ROSE:Are you currently in love with someone?

AMSONIA:Would you ever become a vegan?

PEONY:What’s your favorite hot beverage?

TULIP:For your birthday, what kind of cake do you ask for?

MYRTLE:Do you like going on airplanes?

HIBISCUS:Did you ever play an instrument? If so what?

ZINNIA:Who was your best friend when you were six years old?

POPPY:What color was your childhood home?

HYDRANGEA:Starbucks order?

VIOLET:Do you like where you’re from?

LOCUST:What was your favorite book as a child?

RHODODENDRON:What’s the scariest dream you’ve ever had?

QUEEN ANNE’S LACE:Would you rather carve pumpkins or wrap presents?

MAGNOLIA:Favorite kind of candy?

ASTER:Would you rather be cold or hot?

MARIGOLD:Do you listen to what’s on the radio?

HELICONIA:Do you like when it rains?

AZALEA:What’s a movie you cried while watching?

DANDELION:Do you think you’re important?

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A lot of people ask me what my biggest fear is, or what scares me most. And I know they expect an answer like heights, or closed spaces, or people dressed like animals, but how do I tell them that when I was 17 I took a class called Relationships For Life and I learned that most people fall out of love for the same reasons they fell in it. That their lover’s once endearing stubbornness has now become refusal to compromise and their one track mind is now immaturity and their bad habits that you once adored is now money down the drain. Their spontaneity becomes reckless and irresponsible and their feet up on your dash is no longer sexy, just another distraction in your busy life. Nothing saddens and scares me like the thought that I can become ugly to someone who once thought all the stars were in my eyes.

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MIDSOMMAR (2019) dir. Ari Aster

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Sakura Endo for OVE MAGAZINE

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the mood for today: gee’s little ‘psh-ahh’ sound at the beginning of Kill All Your Friends