calissarowan

[calissarowan]

We found out who Bob was!

They were all so mean about Bob…

Chloe: I finally worked out what’s wrong with society!

Adi: Men?

Emily: War?

Francis: People?

Yelena: Bob?

Mary: I’d say humanity, but it’s probably Bob.

Chloe: Who tf is Bob?!

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I realized that the trix never questioned valtor how did he come back (assuming the trix know the winx "killed" him off) in season 8?

Ps: I'm sorry that I used the word killed

That’s completely fine. Of course you can use the word killed, it’s the correct word.

And that’s a very good point…they just kinda…slot back into being his henchmen. Do an evil smile when they get freed, as opposed to going, “Wait, what the hell?! Weren’t you dead?! It was on the news, we rewatched it like seven times with popcorn- wait, nevermind, no we didn’t.’ I think they must have known, since they were freed following his death, and presumably they checked the news. I imagine every time Icy gets freed from prison, she checks the news in case Bloom’s died, with equal amounts hope and dread, because yay, Bloom’s gone, but also that was her job, how dare this other person. So they’d have seen Valtor was dead.

The entire way he comes back is very confusing, honestly. Argen is lumen royalty, so he must be strong, but…that strong? Strong enough to revive Valtor? If he’s that strong, I feel like he should be able to solo the Winx. Also, Bloom should have sensed it. She knew when he was alive last time. Also, if Valtor’s essence is just floating around in the universe, then I’m amazed it didn’t get found by, like, a cult or something first. That’s what I’d expect.

Two ways I have to make Valtor’s return less strange that I’m writing down because I just thought of the second one and I love it:

Bloom can sense him, she’s still been able to sense him since he died, and kept looking for him, but after a long while, she told herself she was traumatised and paranoid, and let it drop. That explains away the dragon flame connection, though, the flame in and of itself makes it odd, because where is Valtor’s dragon flame?? He wants star power now? Which leads me onto the idea I just had…

Valtor is still dead. Super dead, very dead. Hence why Bloom can’t sense him. But he’s still also a powerful figure feared by the whole dimension, and that carries a pre-made fear-factor. So the Valtor trying to steal the light from all the stars is actually Argen, or Obscurum, he might have still changed his name, in a very complicated disguise. It makes a lot more sense. Argen has star, thus light, powers, so illusions are an easy assumption, he wants respect, so how better to get it than by becoming the most feared sorcerer in the universe, and stealing the light from stars would make perfect sense from an evil lumen. Plus, then we’re getting a whole new main villain. He’d probably get figured out by Bloom and Darcy. Bloom cause she can’t sense the flame, Darcy because she knows illusions and that guy is dripping with them. And he gave very, very vague answers to how he came back to life.

Thank you for the ask, it was a really good point!

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Griselda: Faragonda, I have some concerns about our reputation…a lot of people are starting to realise that weaponising students against an army of terrorist bugs was actually highly illegal.

Faragonda: Don’t worry, Griselda…I have a fix for it all. Come, come see.

Griselda: …We are now a hedgehog-friendly campus?

Faragonda: Yes. We won an official award and everything. Look.

Griselda: …We won bronze for hedgehog-friendly campus??? That- that’s not an award, that’s basically just saying we don’t actively kill hedgehogs!

Faragonda: This online certificate begs to differ.

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You can put five characters from any media together on a team. Who do you pick?

I was just thinking about this and got curious. I’d pick:

Loki (Marvel)

Callum (The Dragon Prince)

Ogron (My blog is mostly about him so you all know where he’s from but Winx Club)

Eda (The Owl House)

Uzi (Murder Drones)

(I wanted to add Alastor, but he just felt too risky. And this is coming from someone that put Loki on this team.)

[calissarowan]

Host: And joining us tonight on “Talking about the Private Lives of People You Don’t Know”, we’d like to welcome Stella Allbright!

Stella: Thanks for having me, Steve.

Host: My name is Jerry.

Stella: It’s not about you, Jerry-Steve. Let’s jump right into why I’m here. To address to rumours, yes, I drew a watermelon with abs, no, I don’t regret it-

Jerry-Steve: Wha- no, you’re here to talk about the trial you just represented Tritannus in.

Stella: Aw, what? Really? Why do I bother drawing saucy fruit pictures and leaking them to the internet if nobody is ever going to turn it into a scandal?

Jerry-Steve: So you really pulled it outta the bag there! Everyone thought you had no idea what you were doing.

Stella: Of course I knew what I was doing. Representing Tritannus in a trial. Duh.

Jerry-Steve: What are your feelings on a dimensional criminal being let go and allowed to move into an apartment on Magix with his sister, despite his crimes?

Stella: Well, Jerry-Steve, I’m just horrified. I don’t know who was in charge of overseeing this, but they’ve let them both paint all the walls in the wrong shade, and they’re buying all their furniture from Argos. Argos! It’s like Amazon, but you have to leave your house, which…there’s no point, then!

Jerry-Steve: …What about the very real and present threat he poses?

Stella: He has a jellyfish named Phil that lives in a clock and yesterday he played with a stray puppy that lives with them now. I’m terrified, Jerry-Steve.

Stella: No, I’ll tell you who should be terrified. *grabs the camera and glares into it* Neptune, you neglectful son of a bitch, I know everything, and by the time I’m done suing you, you’ll be lucky if you still have that little cape thingy. Stella, out.

Stella: …So, anyway, you wanna see a picture of Tressa with puppies?

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If the devil were real and had an Amazon Prime subscription, and watched Hazbin Hotel, and he shipped Radioapple…

Would it count as selfshipping?

[calissarowan]

Stella: Well, Neptune? Does the prosecution stand by its assertion that Tritannus did all that that Nereus never has because he probably can’t? Or is the prosecution so focused on his own favouritism that he’s going to outright ignore all facts to cling to it?

Neptune: I…well…this…this is irrelevant! Objection!

Teredor: eating popcorn No, no, answer, I want to hear.

Stella: So, is Tritannus better than Nereus at evil multitasking?

Nereus: Tritannus could never be better than Nereus at anything! Not even being worse than Nereus, Nereus is the best at being worse than himself!

Stella: So Tritannus couldn’t have tried to take over the dimension?!

Neptune: No!

Stella: So the prosecution drops all charges and Nereus is great, all one question?!?!

Neptune: YES!!!

Stella: Well there we go then. Dusts her hands off This has been fun - who’s up for pancakes?

Neptune: …Wait, what-

Stella: All charges were dropped, Tritannus, you’re free to go!

Aisha: Wait, Dad, is that legal?

Teredor: Aisha, if you think anyone over the age of twenty-six has the energy to keep going with this…we don’t.

Tritannus: …Wait, so…we won?

Stella: Yep! I just trusted my instincts. Just like Griselda always told me not to. Ignoring her advice has served me well so far!

Tressa: That- that’s amazing! Wooooo!

Tressa: Let’s get an apartment as far away from Dad as physically possible.

Tritannus: Oh my god, that sounds amazing.

Aisha: …So…are we just…forgetting all the serious crimes?

Stella: I mean…we do it for Bloom all the time.

Aisha: …Oh, dang, yeah.

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This is one of the most impressive pieces I’ve ever seen from you! Gorgeous!

[calissarowan]

Absolutely gorgeous! And no black lines! I’m so impressed!

[calissarowan]

Yes! My beautiful gay spiders! Nobody can tell me they didn’t have a thing for each other, nothing is more romantic than sharing trail mix with a guy that accused you of treason twenty minutes ago. I love this so much!

I ship Flash with Ben in Ultimate SpiderMan, so have some cute ship art.

(I’ma work on a kiss, but I dunno how to draw kisses properly yet)

[calissarowan]

Stella: Your honour, ladies, gentlemen and assorted crustaceans of the jury…that random guy that isn’t involved but just showed up for the drama…

Guy: Hey, whattup, I’m Pete.

Stella: You sure are, Pete. Anyway. My client could not possibly have attempted dimensional conquest; he has an airtight alibi! He was busy kidnapping Princess Daphne, it’s true, she can attest to it.

Tritannus: *facepalms*

Neptune: Yes! Yes, he was doing that, that’s what we’ve been trying to prove!

Stella: So we’re all agreed he can’t have been taking over the dimension at the same time, right?

Neptune: No, of course not! He was doing both at the same time!

Stella: Sir, pulling off a royal kidnapping and taking over the dimension at the same time? Who has the skills to juggle that kind of multitasking? Unless you have Generic Sponsored Phone App, the sponsor of this trial, who I’m just casually plugging in a way you’d never notice.

Neptune: Tritannus! Tritannus did, he did both! And he destabilised the pillars, why can you not accept that?!

Stella: Your highness, just so we’re clear, you are telling me that your son Tritannus, was capable of multitasking not one, not two, but three evil plots all at once? And almost pull them all off in a deadly enough way to warrant Oblivion?

Neptune: Yes!

Stella: …Nereus ever done all that?

Neptune: …Well, no.

Stella: So you’re telling me there’s an area in which Tritannus greatly outstrips Nereus in terms of skill and talent?

Entire courtroom: shocked gasp

Musa: …Damn. Shit just got real.

Tecna: …What has it been up to this point??

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Stella: Your honour…I’m aware that some members of this court are possibly less than pleased with my case.

Teredor: You’ve spent the last twenty minutes singing songs from Barbie movies, Stella.

Stella: …Not…sure what relevance that has to anything, everyone loved those. But, anyway! I have conclusive proof that Tritannus cannot have tried to take over the dimension!

Tressa: *whispering* Stella…we all know he did, I don’t think-

Stella: It’s cool, don’t worry, I got a plan.

Tritannus: …Well, that’s…good…

Aisha: Stella’s once made a plan to find Valtor by just ‘following the creepy emo vibes’.

Aisha: We ended up at an all-night waffle place.

Tritannus: …Yeah, you can all just go ahead take whatever you want from my room when I get sent to Oblivion.

Aisha: …I mean, in the end, Valtor was there, so…

Tritannus: …Okay, hold off on the stuff-taking.

Tressa: Let’s not get ahead of ourselves here…I really wanted that glow in the dark clock.

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Teredor: The court is now in session. Stella, if you would like to present your case-

Stella: First, your honour, I’d like to take a solid half an hour just to really go over our very subjective views on “good”, “evil”, and “what constitutes a biscuit” because really, how much longer can Jaffa Cakes go on pretending to be something they’re not-

Teredor: Ms Allbright. When you type my name into a keyboard, it autocorrects to “Tired”. My own keyboard has me dead to rights, and I think that tells you everything you need to know about whether or not I want to hear you talk about Jaffa Cakes. If you have nothing helpful to say, I will hear from the prosecution. Neptune?

Neptune: Well, I was planning to write up a case, but then I realised Nereus wasn’t involved at all, so…here’s a slideshow of pictures of Nereus’s face.

Teredor: …Where…where did you get a slide projector?

Neptune: Shush, we’re looking at Nereus.

Tressa: …You know, Tritannus, backup plan, hear me out: I kill him, and we can both go to prison together. I bet I’d be great at prison. And I happen to have this knife on me…

Aisha: Tressa, no.

Tressa: Fine, fine, we’ll do it your way and hope we don’t all die from Nereus overdose. That can happen, you know. One guy listened to Dad talk about him for three straight hours, and he died.

Tressa: I mean, a beam fell on him cause of construction negligence, but still.

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I don’t know if anyone remembers when I made a poll between these two to see who’d win most charismatic manipulator, but I did a sketch of this at the time, then found it a week or so ago when I was scrolling through my photos, so I decided to redraw and colour it! I loved drawing sassy Aaravos.

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Tressa: Stella, do you have a real legal defence in place here?

Stella: Oh, totally! So, we point out that Neptune is totally a jerk with terrible parenting, and that this is all basically his fault for being such a tool.

Aisha: …So you have no actual legal defence.

Stella: We won’t need one! With the amount of ire we can get directed at Neptune, we can at least get him cancelled on social media.

Tritannus: He doesn’t use social media except to like Nereus’s posts. That…won’t accomplish much. …Stella, you do remember what you’re actually trying to accomplish here, right?

Stella: Sorta? I watched Legally Blonde 2 to prepare for this, but it was only okay while the first was amazing, and Brandon and I made out through the second half, so I’m not fully trained. This was all I got in terms of notes. *holds up a notepad that just says, “Chihuahua and pink”*

Aisha: Stella, watching Legally Blonde isn’t training.

Stella: Then how do you explain this lawyer certificate I have, hmm?

Aisha: …This is written in crayon.

Stella: None of my pencils were sharp enough!

Aisha: *summons a pencil sharpener* Then use a pencil sharpener!

Stella: What in the name of the second sun is that thing?!?!

Tressa: …Huh. This generation really can’t identify basic stationary supplies.

Tritannus: I can.

Aisha: You’re also on trial for kidnapping, so maybe don’t pat yourself on the back too much.

[calissarowan]

Happy pride!

Happy pride month.

[calissarowan]

Stella: Oh thank goodness- Tritannus! See, Aisha, I told you we’d find him.

Aisha: I…also told you we’d find him. Here. At the Starbucks. Where you get coffee. That you told him to get. Which is why it’s so weird that you made us check the library, the deli, and the cobbler first! We’re underwater! There are no shoes, what are they cobbling?!

Stella: You’re just too much of an inside the box thinker, Aisha. There’s plenty of shoes, look, there’s four right now, on our feet. What if I’d needed an emergency cobbling job done, and been inadvertently discriminated against due to my feet-having status?!

Tressa: …Tritannus, not that I don’t have the utmost faith in her as a lawyer…but do you have a backup plan of some kind?

Tritannus: So far it’s just to hope an intoxicated whale falls on the courtroom and crushes me before the verdict.

Tressa: …Tritannus…that was your backup plan at your and Nereus’s birthday party in case people forgot your name.

Tritannus: Coming up with plans is time-consuming, I like to reduce, reuse, recycle.

Tressa: That’s very eco-friendly, coming from you.

Tritannus: I’m very eco-friendly - I turned an island of floating trash into a non-specific goop monster, clearing tonnes of trash out of the ocean.

Tressa: It tried to kill people.

Tritannus: I said it was eco-friendly, not people-friendly.