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blueberrykizz · 3 days ago

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!Teen! Bob Reynolds x !fem teen! Reader

Back story of Let me be selfish

Summery: Bob and Readers last time seeing each other was chaotic and hurt, Bob made a promise to reader just for her graduation, but Bob had to be butt hurt seeing some of his old high school friends again as they return either from college for summer. And can’t help but to make stupid choices that push Reader to her limit.

Warnings: will go into Bob’s pov for a little, under age smoking, buying drugs, underage drinking, fluff (only small amount), arguing, angst, accusing of cheating, Bob is low key a dick while intoxicated. Reader says mean things, !!!LET ME KNOW IF I MISSED ANY!!!

Note: I would just like to say I think teen Bob would be way more confident, and not be as shy. Because in my head I would like to think Reader brings out another side of Bob especially him as teen and teenagers are really stupid at times and will say and do stupid shit

!!NOT PROOF REREAD!! So I’m sorry if this is ass (Also I got A LOT of these ideas are from my ex high school boyfriend)

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This was nice, laying here together in the grass while the leftover pizza Bob ate slowly was still in the pizza box, he smiled down at me as he gave me the crust knowing the cheese crust was my favorite part.

I sat up eating the crust as I looked around the park with all the kids running around and parents talking as I sighed with a smile. Bob gently rubbing my back as he laid down his arm covering his eyes from the sun, it was humid and warm but the breeze was so refreshing.

I looked back at Bob, “The graduation is tomorrow, you’re still going right?” I said turning back to Bob as he lazily nods his head, “I’ll be there, I’ll be the one cheering almost losing my voice.” He smiled as I laughed softly.

I laid back down looking up at Bob “I still can’t believe it.” I sigh as Bob shrugged, I knew the whole graduation thing was a sore topic for Bob since he dropped out.

Of course his parents never knew until it was time for graduation and he wasn’t graduating, that summer Bob lived with friends and with me for a while, my parents didn’t support the whole Bob dropping out, but they understood Bob’s home life, and didn’t want their daughter dating a guy living at a motel or something.

At least they could watch us and make sure we were ‘behaving’ and not giving them any grandkids just yet, my mom words not mine.

I was lost on thought when Bob blurted out, “We should run away together, over the summer. Just you and me, who knows maybe we’ll get to New York like you always wanted.” I laughed a little at his words but Bob looked up at me and I realized he was being serious.

I looked at Bob confused, “Don’t you and your band have gigs over the summer? You know at those shitty bars, we’re most of the…you know drunks go too?” I say as i shake a little at the thought of Bob going with his band to a place where a bunch of drunk fools could easily throw a beer at Bob or yell something harsh and violence was so easy to get into.

I also knew that’s where Bob found some dealers for weed and cigarettes. I didn’t agree with the smoking but I knew it helped relax Bob.

He let out a sigh and did a lazy shrug “They can handle themselves, and besides when we get to New York, I already have money saved, and you’ll get that scholarship, I can get a job…probably as a waiter or barista, just a paying job, and we’ll figure it all out.”

Bob said gently as he moved a piece of my hair out of my face. I wanted to believe him, believe it would be that easy for us, for him.

No matter how much Bob said he hated Florida, I knew apart of him loved it here, the beaches, and the warm weather everything.

Bob sighed “ Get away from all these rich folks.” He smiled as I rolled my eyes “Why to be surrounded by more?” I laugh gently

We laid in silence Bob of course had a pack of cigarettes on him lit one as we looked down at me as I sighed turning to my stomach as I looked up at Bob

“Promise me you’ll at least not smell like cigarettes at my graduation.” I asked as Bob nods his head in agreement. “I’ll be good tomorrow.” He blew out some smoke.

I played with Bob hand as I twisted the finger he had on, before i took it off his finger and put it on mine, it was to big for me as I showed Bob as I shook his head, I gave him back his ring but denied it before he had me sit up as he took off the necklace I always wore and slid down the to locket, before clipping the necklace on again

I looked down at the necklace as I held it in my hand, before I turned around to give Bob a kiss as he wrapped his arms around me pushing me down to lay on his chest.

Bob put out his cigarette and tossed it into the pizza box we had to throw out,

I played with the ring as I looked up at Bob “So when would you want it back?” I smiled as Bob gave me his dorky grin “When I give you a new ring that you can keep on forever.” He leaned back in for a gentle kiss.

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We start walk away back to the car, as we walked passed by some flowers before I picked one to show Bob. But when I put the flower to close to his nose he looked like he was about to sneeze “Cucumber!” I yelled Bob looked at me taken back “What?” He looked shocked and confused as I started laughing,

“My grandpa told me when I was younger, you can stop a sneeze by confusing your brain.” I shrugged playfully, Bob began to shake his head “And you decided to yell ‘cucumber’” he said as I kissed his cheek

“It caught you off guard, and it can be an inside thing now. So whenever I see a cucumber I’ll think of you.” I smile before Bob raises his eyebrow at me before I softly jammed my elbows in his side.

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Later on we were back in my bedroom Bob had brought some CDs of music, he was playing one of his favorite band Radiohead, Bob laid on my bed as I finished setting up my graduation outfit and putting all the cords and sashes on, I was also adding last minute things to my cap.

It was just some gems made into a star with pictures of my parents, me and Bob, and some of my friends from school, it was simple but cute.

I was at my desk, when my mom walked in to see Bob laying on my bed reading some comic and me finishing my cap, she gave me a look since my door was fully closed “This door needs to stay at least 5 inches open” she said before giving me a small smile as Bob looked up “Sorry Mrs. (Last name) completely forgot.” He said as my mom gave Bob a small nod “It’s okay just remember next time.”

My mom looked at me as I hummed to the music as she looked at my necklace, I looked up at her confused why she was still in my room but she just smiled and shut the door leaving it slightly open.

“If you could have any superpower, what would it be?” Bob asked as he rolled over on the bed as I turned around “You asked me that already.” I smile as Bob rolled his eyes “Ya but when we were like 10 or something, come on what would it be now?” He smiled as I rolled my eyes “We were 13 and I said Black widow…now I think it would be between doctor strange or spider man.” I smiled

Bob nods his head “I haven’t changed, I would want to be like Thor, but with the strength of the hulk.” He smiled “So you want to be a god like, but the strength of the hulk, but I know you also like Hawkeye, so with his skills too.” I say as Bob immediately nods his head “Yup basically, you get it.” He said before going back to his comic.

We went back to what we were doing it was comfortable, me and Bob never had to talk much we just understood each other, enjoyed being around each other. He would come over just to be around and I would go to his, he would play his video games while I did homework.

My parents would say we had this connection, we would act as if we hadn’t seen each other for years even if it was just two days without seeing each other even when we were younger and kids our friendship was even like that, when I would leave during winter break or during the fall to go visit my grandparents.

Bob would see our car and run to our house so when I opened the door he was right there, my mom found it adorable my dad he thought it was cute until Bob was fifteen and I was fourteen , and over that summer because during that summer Bob would write me letters since my parents refused to get me a phone just yet and those letters were friendly, until it became innocent love letters that my mom had found because I left one out on my bed.

So when Bob hugged me, my dad had given Bob this look that he’s still hunted by, he never showed me the look but he say my dad still gives it to him every so often

Bob hummed to the music as he acted the drum parts with his fingers, I didn’t say much as I finished hot gluing the final parts to my cap, before I put it on and turned to Bob, “So what do you think.” I smiled as I posed myself, he didn’t say anything for a moment’s but gave me a smile “It’s adorable, you’re adorable.” He smiled as I got up to give him a kiss “You’re just saying that.” Bob hummed “Maybe.” He gave me a goofy smile.

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The next day, I was sit in my bedroom doing last minute makeup touches and my mom had added a bow to my hair, as she smiled so happily at me as I add a little bit shimmer to my eyes.

My mom had looked at my jewelry box before pulling out a bracelet for me.

I put on the bracelet and fix the locket on my necklace before I start playing with bobs ring, my mom was about to say something before we heard a knock on the door as we looked up to see Bob at my door holding my favorite flowers for me, I got up and gave him a hug, I could smell some pot on him but I didn’t say anything.

My mother smiled “Thank you bob for using the front door.” She smiled teasing Bob on how she found him one time sneaking in through my window.

My mom was quick to pull out her phone and take a picture of me a bob as he looked down at me and looked up at him smiling, to her the cutest pictures she could get of us were the ones where me and bob weren’t paying attention to the camera but to each other.

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My parents took their car as they went to go pick up some thing before my graduation, me and Bob took his car, we didn’t say much, the car smelled like smoke and pot, I let out a sigh.

Bob didn’t say much as if he knew he fucked up, “I’m not that high right now…okay. I just had some early today.” He confessed as I shake my head

“I can smell in Bobby, I smelled it earlier when we were at the house, I just…I did want you to smell like it today, hell I didn’t want you getting high today.” I shake my head as I lean against the window

Bob rolled his eyes “Oh whatever, sorry I can’t please you, it’s just a shitty day, and I needed to do something.” He said annoyed

I shook my head I didn’t want to argue with him today, not right now.

I stayed silent for the rest of the ride as Bob dropped me off before going to park

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Bobs pov

Once I found a parking spot it wasn’t ideal but it was still a good walking distance.

The ceremony didn’t start for another hour, I had time to kill, I went into my glove compartment to pull out a pack and my lighter, I got out the car and leaned against it as I lit the cigarette as I looked around the parking lot, many of the graduates walking away from their cars rushing to check in.

“Robert?” I took out my cigarette quickly as I spun around to see John and some other guys I went to school with, “Hey there.” I said as tried to fan away the smoke as they looked at me shock

“Dude it’s good to see ya, I mean it’s been awhile you left during junior year.” John said as I nod my head, god I hated John, he use to make fun of me and was on the varsity baseball team. He had a thing for (reader) use to tell her to leave me for him.

“Ya you know. Had something’s that I needed to do.” I shrugged as John nods “I mean ya dude, I’m guessing you’re here for (reader) you guys are still going strong. You’re real lucky, she’s smart and has a good future, pretty as hell too…sorry over stepping.” He let out a cocky laugh before snapping his finger as one of his little minions got him a beer from the back on the trucks cooler.

“Ya want one? It’s ment for the grads after all this, we’re heading down to the beach.” I stood up straighter (reader) didn’t bring up going to the beach after the ceremony

I shrugged “ya sure I’ll have one.” John tossed me and beer as I caught it with one hand before put my cigarette in my mouth as I opened the beer, before taking a drink.

“So you still smoking huh? Figured (reader) would have wanted you to quit after you know the whole thing at Alfredo's Bail Bonds.” John laughed as did his friends, (reader) didn’t know about that summer job I refused to tell her since she was away that summer seeing her grandmother, also I would have to tell her I wasn’t just smoking and doing’s pot, that I was on myth.

I took a swing of the beer before taking a smoke “How everything for you John?” I didn’t give to fucks about John and his life I just didn’t want the attention on me.

“I’m at U.M. it’s nice, nearly full ride, I would still be in Miami if I didn’t have to come to my sisters graduation. But you know we all gotta make sacrifices.” He smirked as I gave him a hum.

John let out a laugh “I mean you were literally one of the top ten in our grade, I payed you to do half my work for me…you could have probably gotten into any college you wanted.” John shook his head as he took a drink of his beer. I couldn’t help but shutter a little at the thought, sure I hated school but I didn’t realize till now how close I was to achieving something I could be proud of.

I was quite for a moment before I felt John pat my back “Maybe I’ll see ya around, who knows maybe I’ll hire you as a janitor or something when I my dads company.” He said with a stupid smirk before walking away towards the stadium.

I couldn’t help but let my thoughts wonder at the life I could of had, I stayed by my car until I looked at phone to see the time,

Shit the ceremony was about to start, I put out the cigarette before dumping the rest of the beer and tossing it in the trash as I rushed to get to the ceremony and find (readers) family,

Fuck I smelled like cigarettes and beer, I hurried to the stadium and found a seat near where (readers) family was.

During the graduation I couldn’t help but have self loathing, watching people on went to school with and where younger then me walk the stage and get their diploma. I was so far deep I didn’t even notice when they called (reader) name.

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(Readers) pov

I heard my family cheer for me as I looked up to find the as I waved, I looked around and didn’t see Bob as I looked around until I found him as I walked to my seat, he seemed to not be paying attention as I let out a sigh and sat back down.

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The ceremony had ended and I was making my way to my parents as my mom and dad gave me a hug, we took pictures they gave a congratulations. I smiled but I was looking around for Bob as my dad let out a sigh and pointed towards the wall where Bob was leaning against.

I walked over as Bob saw me and stood up give a smile that I could tell fake but I didn’t want to make a scene as Bob gave me a quick kiss, his lips tasted like beer and he smelled even more like cigarettes.

He didn’t say anything but give me a quick hug as I let out a sigh before eventually pulling away, my parents asked if I was riding with Bob or with them.

I knew I should have went with them but I told them I would see them at the house as me and Bob walked to his car, Bob lead us until we got to the car and I took the keys “You’re not driving.” Bob rolled his eyes “I’m even drunk, I only had like half the can.” He said annoyed as I shook my head getting in the drivers seat

“You shouldn’t have had any at all.” I said irritated as Bob got in the car before I left reversed and began leaving the parking lot,

We drove in silence before I couldn’t help but ask “Why are you being like this today? I mean i just...out of all the day I would like my boyfriend to be completely sober and cheer for me at my graduation.” I was hurt and it seemed like Bob couldn’t give two flying fucks

It felt like every thing I was saying was going in one ear and out the other, I sighed. I was done, I didn’t want to argue with Bob, I wanted to go home and have dinner with my parents and Bob and I wasn’t gonna go to the beach party.

I wasn’t gonna go for the sake of Bob and how he felt, but I didn’t care anymore.

I turned to Bob “Why are you…what happened?” I asked softly not wanting to sound irritated as Bob let out an irritated sigh “I’m just…I ran into John and his stupid friends and of course he had to bring you up. And of course he had to bring up the fact I dropped out, and how i didn’t get me fucking diploma.”

I looked at Bob as I gave him a smile “You could always get you GED.” I shrugged try to give some hope “And who gives a shit what John said, he’s just some dough bag who still thinks he’s in high school.” I roll my eyes

Bob looked annoyed “I give a fuck (reader) I was so close to graduating and in the top of my class, and I just dropped out!” He yelled as if it was my fault as I couldn’t help but yell back

“And whose fucking fault is that? huh Bob? I told you to think about it, I warned you.” I said as Bob rolled he’s eye “Ya because you always know (reader) you always have to be right. Hey I don’t know how about for once you maybe feel bad for me, maybe show that you actually care how I feel!” He yelled as I pulled to a sidewalk

I turned to Bob “I do care, I care so much! But you’re acting like this is my fault, that getting my diploma is the worst thing I could do because it makes you feel like shit.” I sigh trying to get Bob to understand my point of view

Bob didn’t say anything as I looked at him before took breath and went back to driving as I took Bob home as he looked at me confused but I didn’t say anything when we got to his house and got out the car.

I walked Bob to his door before giving him a kiss on the cheek “I’ll see you tomorrow at the party!” I asked hopeful Bob only gave me a quick nod as he turned and walked to the house as I stayed in the spot he left me.

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When I finally got home, my parents looked confused since I was home alone and Bob wasn’t anywhere to be seen, my mom was about to start dinner as I told her I wasn’t hungry and I was gonna go out with some friends.

My parents looked at each other then me before nodding in agreement as I let out a sigh and went to my room to change into a swimsuit, with a crew neck over my swim suit and shorts before grabbing my keys and leaving my room as I said bye to my parents before head to my car and driving to the beach.

When I pulled up I saw some of my classmates and friends drinking and talking to some people, as I made my way over I saw the couples either making out in the car or arguing over something as I let out a sigh walking towards my friends before I almost trip over in the sand before I felt someone catch me as I looked up to see John.

“Careful there, lucky I caught ya.” He smirked as I stood back back up “Ya thanks.” I said not in the mood for John

He looked around “Ya boyfriend ain’t here with ya? I saw him earlier.” He said with cocky “Had a drink with him.” I shook my head “No he didn’t come, hand to get home.” I shrugged trying to walk away from John before head grabbed my wrist before nodding to a cooler “Well why not get a drink, you know just some two old friends chitchat.” He smirked as I rolled my eyes “We were never friends John.” I said looking up at him

“Well then just two old classmates getting a drink.” He said pulling me towards the cooler and grabbing two beers and handing me one, before guiding us to a towel area and we sat down, John waisted no time to chug his beer as I hadn’t even opened mine.

I was uncomfortable to say the least as I looked around trying to find anyone I knew to go and start a conversation with and leave John but all my friends were talking to some guy or girl, or making out with a stranger, and some were playing a game of volleyball.

I didn’t say anything until I felt an arm around me as I looked to see John right up next to me as immediately pushed him off, “I have a boyfriend.”‘I said annoyed about to get up when he grabbed my wrist before nodding “You’re right, I’m sorry.” John seemed genuine as pulled my wrist away before he gave me a small pout “I’ll make it up, come on. Theirs this area with literally the best place to see the stars…and just because I know how you are, a bunch of pear over there.”

I hesitated for a moment looking around then up at the stars that you could hardly see from the light pollution. I let out a sigh “Fine” I said as John immediately got up and lead us to the area,

On our walk I didn’t say anything to John as he saw my locket “That’s pretty.” He pointed at it as I gave him a quick thank you before looking away.

“Where did ya get it? If you don’t mind me asking.” He looked at me as I looked around “It was a gift from Bob for my 16th birthday, he just gave me his ring.” I said not really bothered to have a conversation with John as he nodded his head

We walked in silence until John finally stopped “Here we are.” He smiled as I looked at him confused before he pointed up and wow you could see almost every single star it was beautiful.

But before I could react or say anything I felt a John wrap an arm around me as he stood over me, as if he would kiss me. I immediately pushed him “What the hell John, fuck this.” I said annoyed walking away as John laughed

I walked back to everyone, but as I passed by couples I let out a sigh missing Bob, as I mumbled to myself “This was a mistake.”

I went to my car not bothering to say by to anybody as I just drove, not caring where just needed to drive. As the music played and I drove I couldn’t help but cry a little.

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That weekend my parents had insisted on having a graduation party for me, family has came over, and so did some of my friends but I couldn’t help but look for Bob, I had told him about the party weeks ago and texted him about it but he never replied.

I was having a conversation with a cousin as they congratulated me and we chatted over stupid family drama, until I felt a hand on back as I instantly looked back to see Bob giving me a smile as he kissed my cheek.

My cousin excused themselves as they walked away leaving me and Bob.

He didn’t say much but move a hair out of me face with a soft smile, “Hi.” I looked up at him “Hi.”

Bob had given me a small bouquet of my favorite flowers as I couldn’t help but give him a kiss, for the rest of the night Bob and I didn’t talk much about want happened before.

He stayed near me as I talked to guest and danced with me for a little while.

I was in a middle of a conversation with an uncle and aunt who were going on and on about my cousin who was in law school and why she couldn’t come, Bob had gotten a text, I didn’t pay much attention but when I looked back him, he looked irritated and hurt.

I raised an eyebrow asking if he was okay as he just gave me a short nod and took a sip from his soda. As I continued my conversation Bob eventually got up to make a call, giving me a kiss on the cheek before leaving.

An hour had passed and I hadn’t seen Bob anywhere as I looked for him asking friends where he was and even some of my family, they all shrugged not knowing until I finally walked towards the front to see if he was out there.

I saw to people on the sidewalk across my driveway as I noticed one, I called out “Bobby?” He immediately turned around with wide eyes as I started walking towards him, he gave the guy some cash real quick before walking towards me to the side walk as I looked at him confused

“W-what are you doing out here? I was looking for you.” I say as I looked up at Bob before look him over, it wasn’t until was about to talk I smelled the pot in his breath I didn’t say anything until he looked down in sham.

“Are you for real Bobby?! You’re fucking high right now, great.” I said annoyed as Bob rolled his eyes “I just needed to let out some steam. It not that big of a deal.” He sounded unbothered as I shook my head

“Bobby my parents are here, my family, if I can smell it they sure as hell will too. And what were you doing over there huh?” I said point to the sidewalk on the other side of the street.

“Non of your business, and so who give a damn if you can smell it! They already don’t like me.” I shook my head at him and his words

“I give a damn! I want my family to like you eventually! And you’re not helping me.” I said looking up at him. I didn’t notice how loud we were being that my family had heard and my family and friends were overhearing us.

“Well it’s not like we’re gonna be forever together! You made that very clear at the beach, when you were kissing John! So why should I care what your family thinks?” I looked at Bob confused “What are you talking about?” I asked when Bob pulled out his phone and it was a picture of me and John from the beach, from the angle it looked like we were kissing.

I looked at the picture in disgust “We didn’t kiss, he put his arm around me and was standing above me, I was looking up at the stars. Bobby I pushed him away immediately, I would never do that.” I said trying to get Bob to understand but all he did was shrug me off

“Ya definitely, what he talks about getting you and how pretty you are at the graduation and literally that same night you just happened to be with him? Fuck off (reader)” he yelled as he stumbled a little as I grabbed him

“Bobby you’re high, please let’s just get you inside you can sleep on my bed and we’ll talk tomorrow.” I said nearly pleading with Bob.

But all he did was push me off him “Get the fuck off me, you fucking bitch!” He yelled as I stepped back and I saw the bag of weed fall on the ground along with a bag with white stuff

I couldn’t help but feel angry, “You bought fucking drugs in front of my house?!” I yelled as Bob waved me off and attempted to pick them up but I beat him to it.

I held the bags as he stood up stumbling “Give me the damn bags (reader).” He said in a command but I shake my head “Chose, me or the damn drugs.” I said sternly as Bob looked at me shocked

“your choice Bobby, because I’m done.” I couldn’t do it anymore Bob on drugs, he needed to get better. I stood there hoping he would pick me as a tear ran down my cheek.

Bob hesitated before grabbing the bags from me slowly as I felt more tears run down, he didn’t say anything as I yelled “Fuck you Robert! Get the hell out of my sight, out of my life. I never want to see you again! You’re nothing but a piece of shit and pothead. We’re done!” I yelled through tears

He took a step back looking down before he mumbled “I love you.” Before walking toward his house as I cried.

My mom instantly ran to me as did my best friend as they held me, and took me inside the house, my father told everyone the party was over and the guest took off mumbling and whispering to each other.

I was in my room crying in my bed my friend sat next to me running their hands threw my hair as my mom came back with tea.

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Bob’s pov

“Your choice..” her words ran through my head, I was a piece of shit, she said it herself, I was nothing but a pice of shit and pothead according to her and she’s right.

I looked at the bags in my hand regret and sadness took over me, it felt like a void as I walked home,

When I finally got home mom was already asleep in her room, she slept more peacefully since my dad got blipped.

As I got to my room I sat on the edge of my bed my head in my hands as I felt sad and angry at the same time. How could she say those things? Was she saying the truth about her and John? Why did I tell her I still loved her?

Thought ran threw my brain as I finally looked up and at my bed stand where a picture of me and her at the beach stood, I couldn’t help but toss it in the floor as the glass shattered then I found more on my walls as I toss them on the floor and glass shattered.

As I looked over the mess I couldn’t help but cry, I had to get the hell out of this town. She never wanted to see me? I’ll go she’ll never see me again, I rushed to pick a bag and packed my clothes and whatever I could, brought a bus ticket online.

But I needed cash, I looked around and threw my drug money, I spent it all already. I looked around as I saw it, the New York jar. I kept it full of cash, enough for me and (reader) to get to New York probably rent a shitty apartment, and still some left over.

I made a promise to myself that no matter what I never took from it, it was for her and me. But was their a her anymore? Was (reader) actually done with me? I hesitated as I reached for the jar.

She said it herself, “we’re done.” I opened the jar and took all the cash, I put it in my wallet, it had a wallet picture of (reader), I couldn’t bring myself to take it out.

I took a look around my room, it was a mess but I didn’t care. The bus was leaving soon and I needed to leave before I could regret it and never leave.

I left my room and headed for the door when I heard my mom in the kitchen probably getting some water, I looked back at her as she took a sip still half asleep.

I let out a sigh and opened the door quietly leaving the best I could, leaving my car keys in the house, and started walking to the bus stop.

I passed by (reader’s) as I looked at it, the party was over the lights were off, but not hers. I could see her window the curtains opened the window cracked a little, it was funny to think how that was her sign for me ti sneak in through her window.

It had me thinking maybe she wanted me to go by, I wanted to, say goodbye, maybe kiss her one last time.

But as I stood there across the street, her mother walked towards the window and closed it, I think she saw me because when I raised my hand a little to her, she nodded and closed the curtains before eventually the lights went out.

Darkness was left, it was almost like it was symbolic to the end of out relationship, the lightness was gone.

When I finally paid for my ticket and got on a bus I couldn’t help but lean my head against the window, I didn’t know where the hell I was going, but I knew it was for the better.

Memories of me and (reader) ran threw my mind.

Her smile and laugh, those little quirks she had, the sound of her voice and when she sang to music, when she would talk about her dreams and our life together.

I would miss her and forever love her…

❀┈┈┈❀┈┈┈❀┈┈┈❀┈┈┈❀┈┈┈❀┈┈┈❀

A/n: YALL THIS TOOK FOREVER IM SORRY SO MUCH SHIT HAS HAPPENED HOLY COW! anyways this was low key sad my bad, um anyways this was heavily used by my ex in high school, real interesting story there. But ya how y’all feel? Any thoughts, I did get lazy in certain parts and lost on what to write in areas. But hope you guys liked this back story, much love! <3

Part three will be out maybe June 26-June 29 haven’t decided!

#bob reynolds #lewis pullman #fanfic #thunderbolts bob #thunderbolts #bob reynolds x reader #bob reynolds fanfic #bob reynolds x you #bob thunderbolts #cutie bob #lewis pullman characters #lewis pullman fanfic #let me be selfish #bob reynolds angst #fluff #light angst

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ichorai · 2 months ago

Text

xerox ; robert reynolds ; part one.

part two. | part three.

pairing ; robert (bob) reynolds x reader, thunderbolts & reader

synopsis ; you had one last job before you were free. no more splitting, no more deaths. unfortunately, that job seemed to rope in four other assassins and a... a man in hospital-wear?

words ; 7.8k

themes ; action, angst, slowburn, the beginnings of romance

warnings / includes ; violence/gore/death, human experimentation, reader has the ability to split into multiple bodies (think dupli-kate from invincible), foul language, walker is an asshole, everyone's mental health sucks!

a/n ; this is part one !!! a second part is already in the works :) this was written all today so apologies if there are any mistakes!

main masterlist. read on ao3!

It didn’t seem a hard task. One kill. One more. Then you could go. Quit the clean-up business for good. You could practically hear Valentina’s sickly sweet smile through the phone.

“You’ll be in and out of there in no time,” her voice crooned. “And I wouldn’t worry too much about your target. After all, you’re rather… disposable, aren’t you?”

You frowned at that. “My self-copies aren’t disposable. I feel it every time one of me dies.”

Valentina laughed—a high-pitched keening noise. You assumed she was waving her hand about in a dismissive manner, as she usually did with you. “You’ll get back up. That’s kind of your thing, isn’t it? Good luck. Try to have some fun. It’ll be your last one, anyway—make the most of it.”

“Yeah,” you said. Your free hand wound around your midriff, almost as if you were cradling yourself. “I’ll take care of it.”

You hung up before you could hear Valentina say one more word.

There were ringing gunshots, muffled grunts, and resounding thuds when you arrived. Who else was here? Your target was only one person—an untouchable woman. A Ghost. Would a thousand of you be able to tackle one of her?

Or perhaps the better question was… were you willing to sacrifice yourself a thousand times to kill one woman? You definitely have before, on previous missions. Over and over again, the bitter taste of death was stuffed into your mouth, dry as a sock, tainting your innards like black tar.

You waited outside the junk room’s entrance, counting the voices you heard. One man, for sure. One unidentifiable. Two women. You split yourself into two, then three. With a begrudging sigh, you spliced once more to make four.

Three copies ran in. One stayed out.

You spotted the ghost immediately. She was phasing between the shield of another masked assassin. Were they also here to kill her? Another copy spotted a woman being pinned down by another man, a blade inches away from her throat. Not your mission, not your problem.

Though, it certainly became your problem when the woman croaked, “There you are!” upon seeing you. “Holy shit, there’s three of you.”

She bucked the man off after tasing him, scrambling towards her gun. A click, a point, a shot. Your copy dove behind a pile of sturdy cases, but clearly not fast enough. You felt the bullet pierce your chest, the warmth of the blood pool across your ribs—and then you were dead.

“Fuck,” you winced, feeling the resounding ache of the gunshot in your own body, eyeing your dead self. Without a second thought, you split once more. Your copies scattered from your assailant, off to find the ghost.

You tackled your white-masked target as soon as she materialized once more, managing to get only one powerful strike in before you fell to the ground, the ghost phasing away and disappearing once more. Then your head pierced with the terrible, agonizing pain of a bullet fracturing your skull, and you were dead. Again. And again, and again. Impaled by a shield, stabbed by the ghost.

You gasped from outside the room, crumpling to your knees. How many more times were you willing to die? How many times could you?

Then there came a nauseous, gagging sound from inside the room. For a moment, you wondered if one of your copies had miraculously survived and was making that sound. You split yourself and crawled inside. Maybe you could save yourself. Spotting you coming in, the man with the shield seemed to realize there was one of you waiting outside. He sent the shield—already covered with your blood—arcing outside and striking you clean across the throat before you could react. Your decapitated head hit the metal floors with a disgusting, bloody noise, lolling to the foot of the entrance.

That left one copy inside the room. You gasped for breath, air painfully dragging within your esophogas as you clutched at your neck, the veins beneath your skin popping. For safety, you duplicated yourself once more.

“Woah,” came a voice beside you. There was a man in… hospital clothes? You scrambled away from him. He watched you with an open mouth, blinking in a manner not unsimilar to an owl.

One of the assassins was dead already, bullet wound in the head, not unsimilar to one of your deaths here. You could see your own bodies scattered about, in varying states of mutilation. The three assassins left were all pointing their guns at each other, then you and your copy, then to the man gagging next to you.

“Which one of you is the real you?” said the blonde woman.

“I’m all me,” the both of you said at the same time.

She shuddered. “Well, that’s not creepy at all.”

The man on the ground made a disoriented noise, as if realizing that he really shouldn’t be in a room full of people with guns trying to kill each other. “Actually, I—” He struggled to his feet, then turned to run. Thick metal shutters fell down over all the entrances before he could leave. It crushed your decapitated head as if it were a grape, your blood splattering all over you, your copy, and the hospital-man.

Shit. If you were still outside, you could have gotten away.

The assassins all trained their guns at the man, spooked by his skittish movements.

“No, no!” he exclaimed, raising his hands in surrender. “I’m—I’m Bob.”

It didn’t look like he had any place to hide weapons. Still, just to be safe, you split yourself again, now three of you. The faux Captain America flinched. “Fuck!”

“Who?” said the ghost, eyes trained on Bob.

“Bob,” said Bob, shrugging.

“Who sent you, Bob?” asked the blonde woman.

“Nobody, why would I be sent?” he said, hands trembling. He was afraid. “You were all… you guys were all sent?”

His question went largely ignored. The woman’s eyes, lined with hazy blue makeup, darted to you. “You—how am I meant to kill you if you can’t die?”

You raised your hands in surrender now, mimicking Bob. “I can die. It’s the one thing I’m really good at.”

Something flickered in her gaze. She lowered her gun just slightly. “Who sent you?”

The ghost rolled her eyes and lowered her gun. “I’m not sure what’s happening here, but my job is done.” She gestured to the dead assassin on the ground and stepped forward to go.

One of your copies blocked her way. “My job isn’t.”

She scoffed, then phased straight through you. You felt a cold chill traverse down your spine.

“Neither is mine,” said the blonde woman, turning the barrel of her gun to you.

“Don’t waste your time,” you snarled. “I have infinite lives. You have finite bullets—do the math.”

The man with the shield tilted his head at the woman. “Convenient cover for someone stealing weapons from O.X.E.”

“I’m not stealing, Copy-Cat here is ste—” She paused, and realization came over her bloodied face. Then, she raised her hands in the same way you did. “Okay. It’s clear we have all worked for Valentina in some sort of shadow ops capacity.”

“Yeah, so?” said the man.

“So all of this shit is O.X.E’s secrets. And so are we.” She gestured to the mountainous stacks of boxes and crates.

You felt your heart sink to your stomach. You should’ve known Valentina would pull something like this with you. It should’ve been suspicious how easily she accepted your request to leave. How could you be so stupid? So naive?

“We’re liabilities no one would miss,” said Ghost.

The man scoffed. “Speak for yourself. I was sent here on a mission.”

“Look around!” said the blonde. “We are the evidence, and this is the shredder! She wants us gone.”

The three began to bicker over who was in the right. From their argument, you learned that the man with the shield was John Walker, officially Captain America for about three seconds before he had murdered a man in public. And the blonde woman—tasked with the impossible mission of eliminating you—was Yelena. Former Red Room assassin.

Bob began to shuffle closer to you, and you tensed.

“Hey—” he said, reaching out a hand to help you up. “Are you okay? I watched you die, like, fifty times or something.” He fidgeted when you hesitantly accepted his hand, pulling yourself up with his help. Bob took turns smiling at you and your clones, all lopsided. He was so… off-putting. You scrutinized him with a narrowed gaze.

“What are you doing here, Bob? You clearly aren’t… like us.”

“Wh… Why not?”

“You’re in a patient uniform. It’s the kind of shit I always wore as a kid,” you said, beckoning to his pants.

Bob was about to respond, but clammed up when John Walker began stalking closer to the two of you. Subconsciously, Bob edged behind you, almost as if he were using you as a shield. You sure as hell didn’t know who Bob was, or what he was doing here, but he certainly didn’t seem deserving of the piercing glare Walker was sending his way.

“I’m not leaving here without completing my mission,” said the man. “Valentina gave me a clean slate, guaranteed—I’m not screwing that up.”

“And you believe her?” you said in disbelief, almost a whisper. You stepped back, bumping into Bob in the process. He felt strangely solid behind you. “She promised to let me go. A rogue, powered assassin let loose out of the cage. I was stupid for letting myself believe her. And you are, too.”

Walker’s face crumpled with anger. “Listen here, you freak. You multiply like… like bacteria. Obviously Valentina doesn’t trust you. She may be lying to you, but she trusts me. And you—” He rounded on Bob. “You were part of my job, so I gotta know. How’d you get in?”

You shifted so you’d be able to see Bob. He seemed to shift with you slightly, unhappy that you were no longer between him and John. Fidgeting with the cuff of his sleeve, Bob shrugged. “I don’t… Pfft. I don’t know. I don’t remember.”

One of Walker’s eyes twitched. “Terrific answer. Great. Well, alright!” He beckoned to you, Yelena, and Ghost. “Tie yourselves up. I’m sure there’s rope in here somewhere.”

“Wow,” said Ghost—Ava, you remembered reading her name from your mission casefile. “No.”

“Hey,” whispered Bob, tugging on one of your copy’s utility belts. “I just realized I don’t—I don’t know your name.”

“Now’s probably not the time for niceties,” you said. After staring at him for a moment longer, you sighed. It was pitiful how lost he looked. “I’m known as Xerox.”

“Xerox—that’s a… that’s a cool name. Way better than Bob.”

To your surprise, you found yourself giving him a small twitch of a smile. “Bob’s a palindrome. Same backwards as it is forwards. That earns it at least half a point on the cool scale.”

Bob paused, regarding you with an equally twitchy, uncertain grin. “I never thought about it that way. Yeah, that’s… thanks.” He let out a nervous laugh that was obviously forced—and yet still somehow endearing.

As you spoke with Bob, Ghost walked on ahead, intent on leaving. She phased out of tangibility, so you knew there was no way you could stop her even if you tried. You watched her go passively—you no longer cared if you failed your mission. It was clear it wasn’t a real mission, anyway. You were glad that Yelena had come to the same conclusion. She didn’t seem intent on wasting any more bullets in your copies’ skulls.

When Ghost drew within an inch from the door, a piercing sound echoed throughout the chambers. You and your copies keeled over in pain. The noise made violent shudders ripple through your body. It reminded you of all those times you had to be strapped down when you were a child before you could control your powers, riding out your seizures with a belt across your mouth to muffle your screaming.

You could feel shaking hands drift to cover your ears for you. Bob’s. Your head snapped up, meeting his worried gaze.

Eventually the noise subsided, and his touch fell away.

“You didn’t have to do that,” you said, eyeing him cautiously. What did he want from you?

“You were hurting,” was all he said in response, tone hesitant and soft, as if worried he’d done something wrong.

You felt your face soften and you let out a weak exhale, suddenly feeling as if your heart was going to fall out of your chest. Why was he making you so flustered?

The five of you were left sitting around for the next ten minutes. Walker and Ava took to raiding the dead assassin, Taskmaster’s body. Yelena didn’t seem too happy with that, snapping at them to respect the dead, job or not.

“You knew her?” you quietly asked the blonde as she paced to and fro like a caged tiger, watching as Ava took a gun off the corpse.

“I did,” she said, nodding solemnly. Then, she gestured to your own dead bodies strewn about. “Sorry about—”

“It’s fine. Comes with the job,” you mumbled, voice soft.

Yelena nodded grimly. “You live and you die, right? You more than most, I suppose.”

You blinked at her. Before you could say anything back, a siren blared across the room. The lights turned an angry shade of red that made the blood on your hands look black as tar. You felt your stomach roil.

Ghost looked upward. “It’s not a shredder,” she said. “It’s an incinerator.”

There was a large timer by one of the entrances that started to count down from two minutes. “Two minutes before Valentina’s slate is wiped clean,” said Yelena.

“Don’t know that for sure!” John protested. “Could be for when they come to pick me up.”

You could only barely withhold yourself from driving your fist into the smug look on his face. It did, however, make you feel slightly better that you weren’t the most stupid, delusional one in the room.

“Do you not feel that? The temperature rising dramatically, as if heat were involved?” Ghost pointed up at the gaps in the ceiling, where heat was filtering in, so strong that space warped and wobbled looking through the columns of air.

“Oh, boy, that is no way to go,” said Bob, nervously wringing his hands.

Walker scowled. “Well, how would you like to go, Bob? With a hand around your throat choking the life out of you or a bullet to the head? Either could certainly be arranged!”

“Stop,” you barked. “You really want to spend your last moments alive being a complete asshole?”

The man clicked his tongue to the roof of his mouth. Yelena stepped in before another fight could start. “Listen, Ghost-lady—”

“Ava.”

“Sure, whatever. We need to get you through one of the walls so you can open the door.”

“She tried that already,” said John, eyes rolling up to the pipes on the ceiling.

“I know she did, but we haven’t tried shutting off the sound barrier!”

“If they built a barrier specifically for her,” you said, recalling your casefile. Her weakness was high-frequency sounds that caused interference with her suit’s technology. “The emitter must be in close-range. Somewhere inside the room. Outside would be too weak and dampened to work.”

Immediately, you spliced a few dozen times and scattered, looking for some sort of power source.

“What—what exactly are we looking for?” asked Bob, hurrying alongside one of your copies.

“Not stupid questions, Bob!” John said.

“Ignore him. Look for something with circuitry. Wires, a battery cell, that kind of stuff.” You tore through a few crates, feeling up the nooks and crannies of the walls.

Fifty seconds left on the clock, rapidly ticking down. You were no stranger to dying, but this was strangely a different experience altogether. True, complete death. It sounded like both a blessing and the most terrifying thing possible. You could feel the panic rise up like bile in your throat.

To your relief, Ava found the power source, and John immediately hacked away at it without thinking, orange sparks flying with the power of his strike. You would’ve been angry with his impulsive behavior if it hadn’t worked—Ghost successfully phased through the walls and disappeared.

Twenty seconds.

She was going to come back, right?

Ten.

The furnaces above grew hotter and brighter.

Nine.

One of your copies pushed Bob forward, since he was loitering directly beneath one of them. “Don’t stand under there.”

Five.

One of you caught sight of Yelena shutting her eyes in solemn acceptance.

Four.

You heard Walker curse under his breath.

Three.

You braced yourself. Would death be kind to you this time, despite all of its ugly cruelty before?

Two.

And then—a blaring siren. The slabs of metal began to shirk upwards. The four of you dashed out just as the columns of fire began to spew out.

Bob was slow. You split yourself multiple times to keep shoving him forward. You could feel fire engulf your body, shrieking as the searing flames tore through your suit, into your skin, eating at your flesh, burning you to a crisp.

Some of you escaped, thrown by the explosion. One died instantly with a broken spine. Others clung to the walls, injured but alive.

You watched in horror as many of your selves wailed in agony, dying a slow, agonizing death. You curled up into yourself, a few tears silently rolling down your cheeks. You supposed that was another one of your talents—you were very good at crying quietly.

“Thanks for coming back,” you heard Walker say to Ava.

“I had to use someone. They cut the power to the elevator.”

“Hey,” the ghost said, reaching out a hand to you. You looked up at her, furiously wiping the tears away with the back of your hand, trying your best to ignore the pain. “Come on. Up you get. We need to find a way out of here.”

When she helped you up, she noticed that you were shaking violently. “Are you okay?”

“I’ve never been set on fire before,” you murmured. “Burned alive is a new one to add to the books.” You kneeled down to close the eyes of one of your corpses. You caught sight of Bob on the other side of the room, having just woken up from being knocked unconscious beside Yelena. He was uninjured, to your relief.

“You helped me out,” he said, once you neared him. “Why did… Why did you do that? You died for me—so many times. I’m not…” He fidgeted uncomfortably. You could see the guilt weighing heavy in his eyes. “I’m not worthy enough for that.”

You didn’t know what to say. You were never good with sentimentalities.

To your dismay, John cut you to the chase. “I won’t disagree with you on that,” he told Bob. He stormed forward until he was nearly nose-to-nose with Bob, who cowered away just slightly before straightening himself to his full height. “I’m tired of your bullshit! Tell me how you got in here right goddamn now!”

“I swear I just woke up in this place,” he said, placating, as if he were talking to a spooked mare. “One minute I’m having my blood drawn for this medical study, and the next I’m here. I don’t know what’s happening, I really don’t.”

“Okay, then show me where you woke up!”

Bob hesitated, then pointed into the incinerated room. “In—in there.”

“Where everything’s on fire,” John deadpanned. “That’s real convenient.”

“Walker, relax,” said Yelena.

“You don’t remember anything?” asked Ava. “Bag over your head, a needle in your neck?”

“Chokehold? Nerve pinch?” Walker asked. It was beginning to feel terribly like an interrogation of sorts.

Bob stepped back again. “No, none of those.”

“I think he’s just a civilian,” said Yelena, eyeing Bob carefully.

With an edge to his tone, John hissed, “Okay, well, if he’s a civilian, he knows too much and if he’s an agent he sucks. Either way I say we throw him back into the fire!”

“No,” you said, glaring daggers at the man. “I died multiple times just to get him out. We’re not murdering an innocent man.”

“What do you want, a medal? And we don’t know he’s innocent!” Walker fired back.

Suddenly, Bob started to laugh. It was a wheezy, chuckling noise. You looked at him in surprise.

“You said you’re… Captain America?” he said, smiling incredulously.

John’s countenance grew even stonier than before. “What’s funny about that?”

“It’s just, heh, you’re… you’re an asshole,” Bob said between his peals of laughter.

There was a beat of tense silence. Then John smiled, wolfish. It didn’t quite reach his eyes. In an instant, he was an arm’s length away from you and Bob, grabbing Bob by the throat and shoving him back so hard his back crashed into the wall behind him. You scrambled forward, multiplying twice to place enough hands on Walker’s chestplace to shove him back. Yelena also came to help, physically placing herself between the two men.

“Okay, woah!” said Yelena, shooting a warning glare at John. “We swung our tiny dicks—it was a lot of fun, but we need to have some space now. Walker, you go over there. Bob, come with me.”

You watched the blonde woman whisk Bob off to the side, who followed her with no complaint. When you looked back at John, he was toeing one of your burnt corpses with his boot. He caught you staring at him and stopped.

“Sorry,” he said. Even he knew that crossed a line.

“Force of habit?” you taunted him with a tilt of your head.

John apparently had nothing to say to that. He turned away from you. Then, he began hacking at one of the walls with the shield. “There has to be a way out of here if we go in one direction for long enough, right?”

You shrugged. “Go right ahead. Be my guest.”

After a few more pummels, the solid concrete gave in and revealed metal doors. He pried them open, grunting with exertion, revealing an empty elevator shaft. There were no wires or indented surfaces to climb. Just sheer, smooth metal walls for as far as the eye could see. Likely even further than that. You gulped as you stared up.

“Hey, are you guys done with your therapy session yet?” John snarked to Yelena and Bob.

Yelena, after saying a final few words to Bob, let him go. Bob made his way to you. Whatever it was that Yelena said to him, Bob didn’t seem particularly settled. You decided not to dwell on it for too long.

“So, this is—our way out?”

“Looks like it. No way to climb, though,” you said. You glanced at his head. “You okay? That looked like it hurt.”

Bob glanced at you strangely, not used to others being concerned over his well-being. First Yelena, and now you. “Yeah, I’m fine. Can’t have been as bad as you.”

“It’s no competition,” you said, pursing your lips. Then, to the rest of the group, you asked, “Should we all get in there? Maybe we’ll figure something out once we scope it out.”

All of you crowded into the bottom of the elevator shaft, staring up at the endless void above.

“So… none of us fly? All of us just… punch and shoot?” Yelena asked, looking around.

“Don’t worry,” said Walker. “I got this.”

He pushed you and Ava to make more space for himself, ignoring both of your startled noises. Then, he leaped up. An insane distance for a regular human, and what you assumed was just above average for one pumped with super serum. You watched him disappear into the darkness for all about four seconds. And then you heard screaming as he came back down. Bob tugged you back just in time not to get crushed beneath John crashing back down on his shield.

“You should try that again,” Ava suggested, grinning down at him as he struggled back to his feet with a pained groan.

John looked at you and you clones expectantly. “You can multiply. Why don’t you, I don’t know, make enough copies for us to climb up there?”

“You want me to form a human ladder for you guys?” you asked, horrified.

“Well, yes—”

“My clones have limited range,” you interrupted, voice curt. “We’re a collective mind. If we don’t all stick within a few meters of each other, I get seizures and lose control.”

Walker frowned down his nose at you. “Is it not worth a shot?”

“Not unless you want to risk me spazzing out mid-climb and all of us falling to our deaths,” you retorted. “We need to think of something else.”

Then, Walker turned his gaze to Ava. “Can’t you just phase up there and throw down a rope for us, or something?”

“First of all, someone other than you would have to ask me,” she hissed. You had to admit, you were starting to warm up to her. “Second, I’ve only ever been able to hold it for a minute, and who knows how long it would take to get up there—I’d be crushed under the weight of it before I could phase back.”

“Just a minute?” Walker deadpanned. “What is it with you lab rats and your limitations?”

“Shut up!” both you and Ava exclaimed at the same time.

“I… have an idea,” said Bob, raising a tentative hand.

All of you turned to him expectantly.

Your backs were pressed up together, your legs splayed out onto the metal wall as the group slowly inched upward. For the plan to work, there was only space for one of you, so you reabsorbed your copies into one body again. The rest of the group watched you do it in a mix of muted curiosity and horror. Bob gave you an awkward thumbs up, which made you smile despite the ridiculousness of the entire situation.

A part of you wanted to leave a copy down on the ground in case something happened, but you couldn’t risk having a seizure if you got too far away, and with everyone else on the line, too.

“Ew,” said Yelena. “Which one of you is wet?”

“Sorry,” Bob winced. “I run hot.”

You shifted the arm looped around his, grimacing at the sweat dripping down your own face. “I get it. It’s fucking sweltering in here.”

“Someone’s got a weird, hard butt,” Walker groaned.

“That’s not my butt, that’s my suit,” Ava hissed in return. “Pardon me for the inconvenience—I only spent my entire life in labs, hooked up to machines so I could create this physical cage to keep my material body from disintegrating at all times!”

You heard Yelena let out a bark of a laugh. “You don’t want to start the whole sob story game. I’d win. Enslaved child assassin over here.”

For some reason, John said, “Well, you were just a kid, so—”

“Oh!” said Yelena. “Does that make it better? Gee, I wish someone had told me that earlier! That makes me feel so much better.”

“Not that it’s a competition, but I’ve spent my whole life quite literally dying over and over again,” you said.

“Oh, really?” said Walker. “Sounds like you’re making it a competition.”

You fell silent, not wanting to waste your breath arguing. The group, panting in ragged, short breaths, simultaneously decided to fall silent. You were so high up now that you couldn’t see the bottom of the shaft anymore.

After what felt like eons, Walker finally gasped out, “I see a door!”

“Now what?” Yelena asked.

“Uhm—I guess one of us should… go first…” said Ava from your other side, uncertainty weighing her words.

“No, then the rest of us would immediately fall!” protested Yelena, breath trembling with the strain of holding herself up.

“Shit… sorry guys, I guess I didn’t really think this through,” Bob muttered.

“Genius fuckin’ plan, Bob!” Walker exclaimed.

“Always making things worse,” the man on your right muttered.

Your brows furrowed. “Bob, we’re all the way up here because of you. Come on, we’re so close. I can duplicate and—”

“We can’t risk your additional weight,” Walker barked out. “One slip and we all come tumbling down!”

“Then what do you want to do?” you asked.

“Hand me a baton, I can reach it!” he said.

Immediate protesting ensued. “No way, you’re just going to leave us!” Yelena gritted out.

“We have to hurry, I don’t know how much longer I can keep my bloody boots from slipping!” Ghost said. True to her word, you caught sight of her shoes slowly gravitating downward.

Yelena inched upward. “Spin us around and we’ll—”

“No! Are you crazy?”

Bob shook beside you.

“Bob, are you alright?” you asked, wondering why he was tossing his head from side to side like a dog shaking off excess water.

“Cucumber—cucumber, cucumber!” he said, scrunching up his face.

“What the hell is happening?” Yelena asked.

“Growing up, somebody told me if you have to sneeze, you yell out cucumber to confuse your brain. I have to sneeze, but if I do, I’ll lose control and we’ll—”

“This is insane!” Walker bit out. “I can get us all out of here, I just need to go first!”

“NO!” Ava said. “There must be another way!”

Bob tilted his head back, knocking against yours. “Oh, no,” he said.

“Oh—” You began to panic. “Cucumber! Cucumber, cucumber! Bob!”

Yelena and Ava both began chanting with you. John, his patience worn thin, reached behind and grabbed Yelena’s baton. Then, he jumped out of formation.

You felt yourself falling, your heart dropping to the balls of your feet in sheer horror, trying your best to grip onto the slippery metal walls. In your panic, you duplicated yourself in an attempt to slow down your descent. Just above you, Ava punctured the walls with her dagger, braking to a halt.

Then, to your shock, you were abruptly smacked against the wall when Ava grabbed hold of your wrist. But only one of you.

“No!” you exclaimed, watching as your copy plummeted downwards with a blood-curdling shriek. After several seconds, you could feel your mind grow hazy, dizzy with the distance. “No, I’m—”

Your pupils rolled into the back of your head and you began to convulse. You didn’t register that Yelena had grabbed a hold of your ankle as she fell, and she sent a grappling hook down to catch Bob.

He tried his best to catch your copy, but you had streaked past so fast that you slipped right through his arms, and fell into the darkness below.

The rest of the group, minus Walker, who had climbed through the opening, watched as you shook about violently. After several agonizing seconds, there was a resounding thud and splattering noise. It seemed a twisted sort of blessing that the fall had killed your copy immediately. You broke free of your seizure but immediately fell into a bout of pain, doubling over. It felt as if you were on fire all over again, and someone had carved you open, poured honey all over your innards, and released a thousand fire-ants to crawl over you.

You were so out of it that you only barely realized Ava was pulling you through the entrance with John’s help. Yelena hauled herself up after that, Bob shortly following her.

The ghost kneeled down beside you, gently tapping your face as you came in and out of consciousness. “Hey. Don’t fall asleep on me.”

With slow, painful movements, you nodded, sitting back up. It took you another moment to realize that the entire group was huddled around you. “Oh, God. I felt my brains spill out down there.”

“What did you go doing that for?” Walker said in an irritating I-told-you-so tone, kneeling down beside you. “I told you not to duplicate yourself, didn’t I?”

“I really don’t think a lecture is needed right now, thank you,” Yelena told him.

“I’m sorry,” said Bob, looking wearing yet another expression of guilt. “I tried catching you, but—”

“Thanks, Bob,” you said, nothing but sincerity in your eyes. “I felt you. Thank you. And thanks for holding onto me, Ava. Even though I tried to kill you.”

The woman averted her gaze, clearly embarrassed. “Yeah, well. Would have been a terrible weight on my consciousness. So really, I did it for my own benefit.”

“Alright,” you said, not believing her in the slightest, but you decided not to comment on it.

With the help of Ava and Yelena, you stood up on your own two feet, albeit a little wobbly, and completely exhausted from the climb up.

“You selfish prick,” Ava spat at Walker. “If you had just waited for one goddamn second—”

“I made a tactical decision to secure my own safety before ensuring all of yours,” he said, rolling his eyes. “Pretty ungrateful, if you ask me.”

Then, something strange happened. Bob placed a hand on John’s shoulder, saying, “Thanks for saving us, Captain.”

Instead of making a snarky comment, John’s face grew dazed. Unfocused. He turned and stepped closer to the elevator shaft, feet just a few inches away from joining your dead clone on the ground.

“Walker?” Yelena asked, wondering what on earth he was doing. Both she and Ava stepped closer to check him out.

You looked to Bob, one of your brows arched. “What’s up with him?”

Bob spared you a cursory glance. “I don’t know,” he said. You chose to believe him, but frowned nonetheless. “Are you okay, though? You were—you were shaking really badly in there.”

“A seizure,” you whispered. “Sorry I scared you guys. I panicked and duplicated. It wasn’t very smart on my end.”

“No, I get it,” he muttered. “The only one you can truly trust is yourself. I get it.”

You tilted your head, regarding him curiously. As much as you thought Bob was a perfectly ordinary civilian, he said some very cryptic things sometimes. “Right… yeah.”

“I know I haven’t given you any reason to, but… you can trust me,” he offered. His hand trembled, and you could read the anxiety plainly across his features. When you took a second too long to respond, he retracted slightly. “But, I mean, you don’t have to if you don’t—”

“I trust you,” you said, cutting him off. You spared him a downturned smile, which made him relax just a smidge. “You haven’t given me any reason not to, Palindrome.”

The mellow blue of his eyes shone with mild amusement. He chewed on the inside of his cheek. “Is that my nickname now? Palindrome?”

“If you want it to be,” you said, shrugging. “It is a bit catchier than just Bob. The same forwards as it is backwards.”

Bob looked back to John, who still wouldn’t move away from the shaft's sheer drop. “I guess that’s fitting,” he whispered. “Nothing changes even if I want it to.”

Before you could ask him what he meant by that, John finally seemed to snap out of it. He stumbled back from the edge of the shaft.

“Jesus Christ,” Yelena said, completely bewildered. “Are you crazy? What did you do that for?”

“Do what for?” John grouched, waving her away as if she was a fly. “I wasn’t doing anything.”

“Ugh, nevermind, then,” said Ava. “It’s time we all get out of here.”

Once Ava pressed a button for the exit to slide open, light spilled in from outside. But—it was nighttime. You knew because you arrived at 10 PM on the dot, and you also knew for certain that not enough time had passed for the sun already to be rising. The lights were coming from cars. Multiple of them, at least three dozen. There was chatter as well. Boots. Guns. Tactical armor.

It was an entire squadron out there. No doubt sent by Valentina.

Ava, John, and Yelena then started bickering about a plan and who was in charge.

“I think I might just surrender, probably,” said Bob.

“I suppose she won’t hurt you if you’re just a citizen,” you said. “Maybe it’s for the best.”

“Okay, fine,” John said, shrugging. “Every man for themself, then.”

“Why should you be in charge?” snarked Yelena. “You almost killed all of us right there!”

John propped his fists onto his hips. “Well, let’s see—I’ve been in the trenches of every war-torn country there is, rescued God knows how many hostages, and shook the hands of two US presidents!”

“And how, pray tell, does any of that help us in the slightest way?” you hissed.

Walker ignored you. “What else—oh! High school state football champs, back to back to back. Go bears!”

You stared at him incredulously. You never met Steve Rogers, but you wished you had that Captain America rather than this one in front of you right now. You were sure Steve was infinitely more tolerable than Walker.

Yelena rolled her eyes. “Oh, wow. When I was five, I was in a peewee soccer team named the West Chesapeake Valley Thunderbolts, sponsored by Shane’s Tyre Shop. We won zero games, and one time one of my teammates did a poo midfield! Anyone else have any pointless stories to share?”

Exasperated, Ava pointed to herself. “Grew up in a lab prison.”

Bob scratched the back of his neck. “Meth-addicted sign twirling chicken. Was a… summer job.” He cleared his throat awkwardly.

“Had my entire skeleton pulled out of my body once. Took me twelve minutes to die,” you said, bouncing on the balls of your feet. The rest of them turned to you, horrified. “What?”

“... Great,” said Yelena. “Now that we’re all done sharing, here’s the plan…”

It wasn’t a great plan, but it was the only one on the table. You and Walker take out the first wave of soldiers coming through, wait for Yelena (and Bob) to turn the lights off and back on once the second wave of soldiers came in with night vision goggles, effectively blinding them, all while Ava went out to find an escape vehicle.

Naturally, Walker didn’t wait. He went barreling into the wave of second soldiers, knocking them all down with his shield and picking them off one by one. You hadn’t even bothered to step in, watching him punch through all of them on his own.

“Thanks for the help,” he spat at you once he was done.

“Didn’t want to get in your way,” you snarked in return. “Now come on. Let’s get their gear on and head out.”

Eventually, Yelena and Bob came back, the former angry that the two of you hadn’t waited for her. John was quick to defend themself, but you merely tossed Yelena and Bob their own sets of tactical wear.

“No time to argue. We can’t keep Ava waiting.”

Walker sneered. “If she’s even waiting for us at all.”

Once everyone was changed, the four of you walked out, dragging Bob as if he were a fallen soldier.

“I don’t think I want to be carried anymore,” Bob groaned, arms stiff and aching from where they were grabbing him.

“Shut up, Bob. You’re injured, remember?” Walker gruffed, which made Bob fall silent.

“Just a little further. Ava should be here somewhere,” came your gritted mutter.

“We don’t know where she is. She could be halfway to Mexico for all we know,” Walker retaliated. Behind your visor, you rolled your eyes.

And then, from the corner of your vision, you spotted Valentina. Pristine as always, sipping a warm cup of coffee. Envy and white hot rage scratched within your chest, but you swallowed down your anger. It took everything you had in you not to storm right up to her, chug down her coffee, and punch a hole straight through her pearly whites. You had a cover to keep up, after all.

Finally, after a few minutes of dragging Bob, a truck pulled up to the four of you. Ava materialized in the driver’s seat. “Get in,” she said.

You smiled. A small part of you really did think she was going to abandon you. You were glad she came back.

Yelena and John clambered into the front while you and Bob sat in the back of the tactical vehicle, where there was nothing inside but two wooden benches for seats. “Will you be okay back there?” Ava asked, and the two of you sent her tired thumbs-ups.

Both you and Bob swayed back and forth as the truck began to purr to life and rumble ahead. “I wonder what they’ll think once they see all my bodies down there. Can’t be a pretty sight,” you whispered.

Bob gave you a sympathetic grimace. “Do you still feel them? After they…?” He motioned vaguely with his hands.

“After they die?” you finished, sucking on the back of your teeth in thought. “I don’t feel them, no. I feel the pain right before they die, though.”

Bob slumped into the truck’s wall across from you. “Sorry,” he said, to which you just shook your head.

“So…” You started, eager to change the subject. “What did Yelena say to you back in the incinerator after your little argument with Walker? You seemed a bit… downcast.”

Bob squinted in thought, trying to jog his memory. “Oh… that. Well, I told her that sometimes I have… really high highs… and then really low lows… and it’s hard to remember things in the middle.”

“Must be a really low low right now, hm?” you said, a laugh lacing your words.

“Hah… yeah. No, I mean… right now I’m fine, I think. Compared to other times, now is… much better.”

“Yikes,” you said, now only half-laughing. “Glad you’re having a relatively good day, then.”

Bob laughed along with you, awkward as ever, then cleared his throat. “Ahem. And then I, uh, to Yelena I said there’s this… darkness… inside me. Never-ending. Like, uhm, I called it a void. Anyways, she said she felt the same way, so I asked her how she dealt with it.”

You motioned for him to keep going, leaning forward. “And?”

“She—she just said she pushes it down. Deep, deep down. Heh. I mean, i-it makes sense, I guess,” Bob said, stumbling over his words a little. “Like, what else is there to do, even?”

Judging from the way your brows knitted together, Bob came to the conclusion that you didn’t seem to think it made much sense. The thought crossed his mind that you looked rather endearing the way your nose wrinkled in thought. You would be a terrible poker player—the cards were written all across your face. Bob liked how easy it was to read you. It made him feel safer to be around you. But these thoughts were quick to wash away when he remembered that you were just—another bump in the road. You would pass, and everything would go back to being… nothing. A void.

“It makes sense for an ex-red room assassin,” you told him, not unkindly, roping him out of his drifting thoughts. “Doesn’t mean you should take the same advice, seeing as you’re not an assassin. Right?”

Bob itched at his wrist. “Right.”

The truck slowed to a grueling halt when a few soldiers stopped the group. Walker, to no one’s surprise and everybody’s dismay, insisted on being the one to talk. They asked for identification and a reason for leaving the base, since the medbay was northside, and they were currently heading southward. Walker tried to bluff his way through, but it was clear that the soldiers were not buying his story.

Bob’s expression twisted as if he had swallowed something sour.

“I’m sorry for this,” he said.

“What?” you asked, watching in confusion as he softly took your hand.

And then, strangely, you were no longer in the truck.

You were in a hospital. The air smelled distinctly of sterilizing chemicals with the sharp twinge of copper—blood. There was a belt in your mouth. Screaming muffled around the stale leather as they hacked away at your leg. Your copy stood off to the side, also bound, but whole. There were tears streaking down both of your faces. You looked younger then—your hair was longer, your face rounder. The years had weathered you.

“Again,” said one of the surgeons. Your younger, whole self trembled, then split into another copy. It took longer back then. An entire minute of straining yourself just for one duplicate. Now, you could make hundreds of yourself in an instant if you wanted. Nurses came in and took the other copy away. Off for more screenings, more tests, more surgeries, more experiments. That’s what you were to them—an experiment.

“Please stop,” you croaked. You weren’t sure whether that came from the younger you or just—you. “Please… I don’t want to die again.”

“Oh, sweetie,” said the surgeon, coming around the dissecting table to push sweaty strands of hair away from your head. “You’re not actually dying, though. Not really. None of these—xeroxes of you are actually you.”

You broke down into silent, heaving sobs when he returned to the other you, and began hacking away more parts of you. “For science,” they’d always told you.

Present-you turned, desperate to leave. Only, you were met with… Bob?

You searched his face, completely dumbfounded. “Palindrome?” you whispered.

“That’s where Xerox comes from?” he asked, clearly perturbed by the scene he was watching. You didn’t spare him a response.

His lips pursed and he reached out to take your hand again. In this strange, hazy world that you knew not to be real, his touch was cold. You rather liked how it felt against the warmth of your own palms, sticky with blood. Was that yours or one of your copies? You couldn’t remember. Was there any difference at all?

You held onto him tighter, shutting your eyes. Bob’s free hand raised to cradle the back of your head, shielding you from your own memories.

“I’m sorry this happened to you,” he murmured. “I’ll fix it. Leave it to me.”

Then, he pulled away from you despite your protests, and the nightmare realm seemed to spin and spin and spin, caving in on itself—

By the time you came to, Ava was shaking your shoulders and calling your name, as you were passed out on the floor of the truck. You glanced around with glassy eyes, confirming what you already knew to be true.

Bob was gone.

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