canaryalpaca

[canaryalpaca]

well they both did it right

[ based on this ]

[canaryalpaca]

i dont know what possessed me to do this but i suddenly really wanted to try making a comic out of a scene from this fanfiction:

Therapy but it's just Zooble interrogating Caine by @spark-hearts2

i really liked the monster metaphor, though i had more trouble conveying it visually than i thought. i hope it works well enough though!

[canaryalpaca]

The thing that angers me

About the submas fandom,

Is how a man breaks down

At the lost of another

His twin brother in black.

Because, of course-

(of course!)

Two brothers = one man

and not

Two twins = two men

----

I am angry at submas

For determining that a worth of a man

Is dependant on another person

And not your own self.

(Revision of old poem, written 2/2025)

[canaryalpaca]

#56

The wave smashes against the levy again.

again

and Again

and AGAIN

(Settle down, why are you so angry?

Everything will be fine, you'll see.

Come on, can't you do this little thing for me?

It's not hard.)

The water doesn't listen.

It can't listen anymore.

Can you hear it scream as it hits the walls?

again

and AGain

and AGAIN???

(It doesn't matter.

it never matters

your feelings HAVE NEVER MATTERED)

(the people inside-

they matter, don't they?

they'll lose their homes

they'll lose their lives

their sense of direction

won't you just-)

calm down

calm down

calm down

It tried.

it's been trying

It's bottled itself for you to drink

its stopped moving so you can fish

it plays along so you can surf

but enough is enough.

IT'S DONE.

AND YOU NEVER NOTICED THE DAMAGE YOU CAUSE.

the waves smash the levy

AGAIN

AND AGAIN

AND AGAIN

(But there's people behind that levy. There's life and love.)

(Please stop fighting.)

(The levy can't take much more.)

The levy can't take much more.

(written sometime in 2023)

[canaryalpaca]

#23 (LET ME GO)

I hit you today

I know it was wrong.

It was only a pillow, but-

I felt no shock, only anger.

A tiredness seeps into me.

Shouldn't you have known better?

Shouldn't I have known better?

I can't go

I can't breathe

I can't think

Trapped like rats in a cage

we could never leave

Unt-

(Written 2/2023)

[canaryalpaca]

#96

There is a man who wakes up today

and drowns is sorrow and grief as the sun rises and sets,

there is a part of him that wants to die

but he still rises, with effort and makes it to another night

To sleep until the morning

where he rises again and repeats the same.

And that-

That means something.

And there is another who wakes up

And sees the sunshine and dew,

The craven rocks and trails of frost,

Thinks of the beauty of the world.

And if the day spoils as if rotten new fruit,

He dreams of a happier tomorrow

that he tucks under his arm

as he falls asleep.

I hope they find each other.

I hope they find their happy ending.

(Written 8/2022)

[canaryalpaca]

#23

The gummy worms are soft now

Not a bit toughness to 'em

I don't ask for much from them -

my gummy worms.

A bit of give to to every bite

A requirement for sure

To never be covered with the tang of no-stick powder

And to taste as bright as halluctinations,

as the sun,

of the rainbow,

of endless fun

But now

it tastes of

a sad child's attempt

Except thats an insult to sad children too.

The beloved gas station has failed me

And their gummy worms with it.

Fuck you gas station, you didnt need to change.

(Written 8/2022)

[canaryalpaca]

Sorry I've been gone for so long, but that doesn't mean I'm done with poetry. I'll post some I've made recently, and some I had in my drafts...Hope ya'll have fun with them :)

[canaryalpaca]

The sleepy smeemy blepper tucked in oh so cozy dreaming smeeming.

[canaryalpaca]

“Staying quiet doesn’t mean I have nothing to say, it means I don’t think you’re ready to hear my thoughts.”

— Unknown

[canaryalpaca]

PokeMas is doing a giveaway on their twitter for cards and gems and whatever and one of the ways to enter is to do a "whos your favorite character" poll

what even is this list

[canaryalpaca]

ngl the "im white so i dont talk abt any characters' race ever bc im afraid of accidentally saying something racist" approach to fandom is like. very weak. imo.

like first of all: i get that "i dont incorporate race into my media analysis because i'm afraid of messing up" comes from a different place than "i don't incorporate race into my media analysis because I Don't See Race 😊 there is only The Human Race." but it has the same functional effect, right? that effect being that your analysis of [INSERT MEDIA HERE] ignores the very real way that race impacts people.

second of all: it feels kinda lazy! like ur saying "i dont know enough abt race to feel comfortable commenting on how race affects this show and i dont care enough to learn." the only way to become more comfortable discussing race is to actually practice discussing race. but when i see people saying this it feels like they're saying "i'm white, which means i don't know how to talk about race, and i don't have to know how to talk about race, and i don't ever have to know how to talk about race, so i'm choosing to never learn how to talk about race."

third of all: just because you don't openly talk about race doesn't mean you're any less likely to accidentally say or do something racist. implicit biases run deep, y'all. it's probably already there in your interpretation of the show. but the "i don't want to accidentally say something racist" implies that you are positive that your interpretation of the show isn't racist. and i'm not saying you're wrong. but i'm saying that if a person of color tells you that something you said about [INSERT MEDIA HERE] was racist, you better be prepared to actually listen and not just brush them off because "i can't be racist! i purposefully never talk about race just to make sure i'm not racist!"

which brings me to my final point: if you do accidentally say something racist... literally just apologize. if someone says you've been doing something racist, apologize and stop doing that thing. it's literally not that hard. i've done it. i've seen other people do it. "i'm scared of being called racist!" is such a weak excuse im tired of it. getting called racist is not the end of the fucking world. calm the fuck down and grow a spine. jesus.

[canaryalpaca]

The tragedy of missing someone who’s no longer there

Keep reading

[canaryalpaca]

A general cane guide for writers and artists (from a cane user, writer, and artist!)

Disclaimer: Though I have been using a cane for 6 years, I am not a doctor, nor am I by any means an expert. This guide is true to my experience, but there are as many ways to use a cane as there are cane users!

This guide will not include: White canes for blindness, crutches, walkers, or wheelchairs as I have no personal experience with these.

This is meant to be a general guide to get you started and avoid some common mishaps/misconceptions, but you absolutely should continue to do your own research outside of this guide!

The biggest recurring problem I've seen is using the cane on the wrong side. The cane goes on the opposite side of the pain! If your character has even-sided pain or needs it for balance/weakness, then use the cane in the non-dominant hand to keep the dominant hand free. Some cane users also switch sides to give their arm a rest!

A cane takes about 20% of your weight off the opposite leg. It should fit within your natural gait and become something of an extension of your body. If you need more weight off than 20%, then crutches, a walker, or a wheelchair is needed.

Putting more pressure on the cane, using it on the wrong side, or having it at the wrong height will make it less effective, and can cause long term damage to your body from improper pressure and posture. (Hugh Laurie genuinely hurt his body from years of using a cane wrong on House!)

(an animated GIF of a cane matching the natural walking gait. It turns red when pressure is placed on it.)

When going up and down stairs, there is an ideal standard: You want to use the handrail and the cane at the same time, or prioritize the handrail if it's only on one side. When going up stairs you lead with your good leg and follow with the cane and hurt leg together. When going down stairs you lead with the cane and the bad leg and follow with the good leg!

Realistically though, many people don't move out of the way for cane users to access the railing, many stairs don't have railings, and many are wet, rusty, or generally not ideal to grip.

In these cases, if you have a friend nearby, holding on to them is a good idea. Or, take it one step at a time carefully if you're alone.

Now we come to a very common mistake I see... Using fashion canes for medical use!

(These are 4 broad shapes, but there is INCREDIBLE variation in cane handles. Research heavily what will be best for your character's specific needs!)

The handle is the contact point for all the weight you're putting on your cane, and that pressure is being put onto your hand, wrist, and shoulder. So the shape is very important for long term use!

Knob handles (and very decorative handles) are not used for medical use for this reason. It adds extra stress to the body and can damage your hand to put constant pressure onto these painful shapes.

The weight of a cane is also incredibly important, as a heavier cane will cause wear on your body much faster. When you're using it all day, it gets heavy fast! If your character struggles with weakness, then they won't want a heavy cane if they can help it!

This is also part of why sword canes aren't usually very viable for medical use (along with them usually being knob handles) is that swords are extra weight!

However, a small knife or perhaps a retractable blade hidden within the base might be viable even for weak characters.

Bases have a lot of variability as well, and the modern standard is generally adjustable bases. Adjustable canes are very handy if your character regularly changes shoe height, for instance (gotta keep the height at your hip!)

Canes help on most terrain with their standard base and structure. But for some terrain, you might want a different base, or to forego the cane entirely! This article covers it pretty well.

Many cane users decorate their canes! Stickers are incredibly common, and painting canes is relatively common as well! You'll also see people replacing the standard wrist strap with a personalized one, or even adding a small charm to the ring the strap connects to. (nothing too large, or it gets annoying as the cane is swinging around everywhere)

(my canes, for reference)

If your character uses a cane full time, then they might also have multiple canes that look different aesthetically to match their outfits!

When it comes to practical things outside of the cane, you reasonably only have one hand available while it's being used. Many people will hook their cane onto their arm or let it dangle on the strap (if they have one) while using their cane arm, but it's often significantly less convenient than 2 hands. But, if you need 2 hands, then it's either setting the cane down or letting it hang!

For this reason, optimizing one handed use is ideal! Keeping bags/items on the side of your free hand helps keep your items accessible.

When sitting, the cane either leans against a wall or table, goes under the chair, or hooks onto the back of the chair. (It often falls when hanging off of a chair, in my experience)

When getting up, the user will either use their cane to help them balance/support as they stand, or get up and then grab their cane. This depends on what it's being used for (balance vs pain when walking, for instance!)

That's everything I can think of for now. Thank you for reading my long-but-absolutely-not-comprehensive list of things to keep in mind when writing or drawing a cane user!

Happy disability pride month! Go forth and make more characters use canes!!!

[canaryalpaca]

– Bianca Sparacino, Instagram account "rainbowsalt"

[TEXT ID: Little things that aren't little at all — Eye contact. "I admire the way you see the world." Comfortable silence. "This made me think of you." Sharing music (a love language) "You make me feel less alone." Kept promises. Chosen family. "Text me when you get home." When someone remembers a small detail about you, or a story you care about told. The way someone you says your name. "Go look at the sky right now." Reciprocity. "See you soon." Finding human beings who care just as deeply as you. "I like the way I feel when I am with you." Feeling like you've known someone forever, even though you just met. "I'm proud of you." END ID]

[canaryalpaca]

[canaryalpaca]