canarys-call

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Joint hurt hreat loud beat beat feel hot upset upset upsett

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i love you nonspeakers. i love you nonverbal people.

i love you nonverbal people who prefer to be called nonverbal. i love you nonspeaking people who prefer to be called nonspeaking. i love you nonspeaking nonverbal people who tired of debate about terminology or can’t keep up with it and just want be heard and communication rights respected.

i love you people who not speak ever since birth ( hi! ). i love you people who use to speak but experience regression / catatonia / burnout or with degenerative physical disabilities. i love you nonspeaking nonverbal people with acquired disabilities.

i love you multimodal communicators. i love you people with complex communication needs. i love you apraxic people who are unreliably speaking. i love you minimally verbal people. i love you semiverbal people. i love you speaking people with selective mutism with speech loss who listen to us and not speak over us.

I love you nonspeaking nonverbal autistic people. i love you nonspeaking / nonverbal people with other intellectual & developmental disabilities. i love you nonspeaking / nonverbal people with apraxia / dyspraxia ( full body or apraxia of speech ) . I love you nonspeaking nonverbal people with brain injury with stroke with aphasia with genetic disorders. i love you nonspeaking / nonverbal people with mental health disabilities that affect language ( eg schizophrenia ) .

I love you AAC users. I love you users of text based AAC. I love you users of picture based AAC. I love you users of low tech AAC. I love you people who can’t afford the big expensive robust systems and rely on free apps or low tech for that reason. I love you people who need small grid size. I love you people who need visual accommodations to AAC like high contrast. I love you people who need alternate access like switch , eye gaze , head track , joystick , partner assisted scanning to make AAC accessible. I love you nonspeaking / nonverbal people who use sign languages. I love you PECS users. I love you letter board users. I love you people who need human support to use AAC , people who use methods like FC and RPM and S2C and all the “ discredited ” method that are constant at risk of being take away from you.

I love you nonspeaking nonverbal people who haven’t found a way to functional communicate that works for them yet. i love you people who communicate mostly or entirely with behavior with gesture with pointing with vocal sounds not words. i love you people who only way communicate is what the system calls “challenging behavior.” I love you people who communicate through violent meltdown, who SIB and hurt others , run away unsafely , destroy property etc and who are punish institutionalize incarcerate or other abused oppressed instead of helped find other way to communicate. i love you nonverbal nonspeaking people who won’t ever see this post, who under institution control or informal more subtle control and don’t have access to social media , or who disability make social media hard , or who just don't like / have interest in being on here (was me for a while !)

I love you nonverbal and nonspeaking people who have found a home in the nonverbal / high support need community on here and who feel like experience is represent. i love you nonverbal and nonspeaking people who have found a home in offline AAC / nonspeaking world like CommunicationFirst and the spellling to communicate conferences. i love you nonverbal and nonspeaking people who tired of and criticize things in these communities , who alienated by respectability politics and " our mind is fine " language and insisting that most nonspeaking people don't have ID (and other issues can't think of right now) . I love you nonverbal and nonspeaking people who not find their " home " in the disability / nonverbal nonspeaking community yet , who not see own experience represent anywhere.

i love you nonspeakers of color. i love you nonspeaking nonverbal queer and trans people. i love you physically disabled nonspeaking / nonverbal people. i love you mentally ill / Mad nonspeaking nonverbal people. i love you poor nonspeaking nonverbal people. i love you nonspeaking / nonverbal people not from global north.

i love you nonverbal people. i love you nonspeaking people. we are great and we deserve to be heard.

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Is NOT SAME! Lose speech small time not same as NEVER HAVE not same as no speech years and years months and months whole life most life no same at all. You no speak short time we never speak. Nonverbal people say over over over not same don't call no listen STOP. There words for you say loss speech, speech lost, verbal shutdown demi-verbal. If speak most time all time not nonverbal not for you, other word community for you. Please read listen nonverbal people, they write big long post explain much better than Sol

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Want plant green wheelchair with flower stickers or fake flower on if can do or yellow orange sun chair or blue sky chair cloud sticker... maybe one those for walker? Love walker friend want pretty!!

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AND KNOW NO UNDERSTAND THINGS MOST TIME. KNOW TAKE HOURS DAYS PROCESSING THINGS. SOL KNOW STILL BE MAD BECAUSE CHANGE SCARY NEW SCARY BUT, STILL WANT TOLD THINGS. NO LIKE DRAGGED ALONG NO LIKE NO KNOW. BUT NO ONE TAKE TIME TEACH UNDERSTAND. TEACHER PARENT EVERYONE GIVE UP SAY CAN'T LEARN SAY BABY FOREVER SAY TOO MUCH WORK TOO DISABLED. GET MAD AT SOL NO UNDERSTAND GET MAD SOL SLOW SOL NO WANT DO BUT DON'T TELL SOL WHAT DO, JUST MAD NO DO. SOL KNOW WILL NOT UNDERSTAND BUT STILL WANT TRY. TRY LEARN TRY TRY PLEASE LET TRY!

Pt: and know no understand things most time. Know take hours days process things. Sol know still be mad because change scary new scary but, still want told things no like dragged along no like no know. But no one take time teach understand. Teacher parent everyone give up say can't learn say baby forever say too much work too disabled get mad at Sol no understand get mad Sol slow Sol no want do but don't tell Sol what do, just mad no do. Sol know will not understand but still want try. Try learn try try please let try! Pt end

HATE HATE HATE NO ONE TELL SOL THINGS!! LEFT DARK ALL TIME MOVE PLACES TOUCH BODY MOVE STUFF TAKE PLACE NO TELL SOL. SCARY SCARY HURT LOST THING LOST SELF NO TRUST. SOL WHOLE WHOLE ROOM CHANGE CLEAN ALL STUFF GONE BOXES GONE NO ONE SAY. IMPORTANT STUFF GONE, NO ONE SAY WHEN DOCTOR APPOINTMENTS JUST GO NEW PEOPLE PLACE SCARY LOUD RUN RUN HIDE MELTDOWN SHUTDOWN SAY BAD SOL BUT NO SAY GOING!! GRAB SOL PULL PUSH SOL TOUCH MOVE MOBILITY AID PHONE STUFFIE NO SAY CAN CAN'T SAY CAN'T TALK NO ASK NO CARE MAD MAD MAD. SOL NO PERSON OBJECT PLAY THING MOVE TAKE TAKE TAKE YELL AT HIT WHEN DO THING NO LIKE UPSET

Pt: Hate hate hate no one tell Sol things!! Left dark all time move places touch body move stuff take place no tell Sol. Scary scary hurt lost thing lost self no trust. Whole whole room change clean all gone boxes gone no one say. Important stuff gone, no one say when doctors appointments just go new people place scary loud run run hide meltdown shutdown say bad Sol but no say going!! Grab Sol pull push Sol touch move mobility aid phone stuffie no say can can't talk no ask no care mad mad mad. Sol no person object play thing move take take take yell at hit when do thing no like upset. Pt end

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HATE HATE HATE NO ONE TELL SOL THINGS!! LEFT DARK ALL TIME MOVE PLACES TOUCH BODY MOVE STUFF TAKE PLACE NO TELL SOL. SCARY SCARY HURT LOST THING LOST SELF NO TRUST. SOL WHOLE WHOLE ROOM CHANGE CLEAN ALL STUFF GONE BOXES GONE NO ONE SAY. IMPORTANT STUFF GONE, NO ONE SAY WHEN DOCTOR APPOINTMENTS JUST GO NEW PEOPLE PLACE SCARY LOUD RUN RUN HIDE MELTDOWN SHUTDOWN SAY BAD SOL BUT NO SAY GOING!! GRAB SOL PULL PUSH SOL TOUCH MOVE MOBILITY AID PHONE STUFFIE NO SAY CAN CAN'T SAY CAN'T TALK NO ASK NO CARE MAD MAD MAD. SOL NO PERSON OBJECT PLAY THING MOVE TAKE TAKE TAKE YELL AT HIT WHEN DO THING NO LIKE UPSET

Pt: Hate hate hate no one tell Sol things!! Left dark all time move places touch body move stuff take place no tell Sol. Scary scary hurt lost thing lost self no trust. Whole whole room change clean all gone boxes gone no one say. Important stuff gone, no one say when doctors appointments just go new people place scary loud run run hide meltdown shutdown say bad Sol but no say going!! Grab Sol pull push Sol touch move mobility aid phone stuffie no say can can't talk no ask no care mad mad mad. Sol no person object play thing move take take take yell at hit when do thing no like upset. Pt end

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Minecraft big interest long long time recently more more people use proxy vc talk in game. So cool remind Sol sit discord vc. But sad remind also cause can't talk. Love listen friends but want add more, little things like they chat and move around in game Sol can't no stop move move move hard respond. No know how aac computer to mc or vc either. Tried watch video long confuse too many big tech talk. And aac app website spend so so long try learn cboard free trial gone no copy paste stupid stupid. Again and again stuck slow type while everyone else speak. Love friends love listen but sad when leave vc because no one else talk with. Sad no try new mod want try. Maybe in future when aac device can have with microphone do that way. Or someone help do computer stuff!

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29 April: Was your hand-eye coordination delayed or maybe is still impaired? This includes things like throwing and catching a ball, putting a key into a lock without missing it, etc. Everything where your brain needs to process what your eyes see so that your hands can adjust what they do. If you're blind, tell us if you think your autism made it harder for you to estimate where things are, using your hands.

Sol don't know too well but told problems throwing and catching and not good at games. Splatoon love play but not good at so sad especially sniper. Body no listen and no connect to mind

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23 April: Do you have balance issues? If not, was it different when you were younger?

Bad balance Sol almost falls every other step! Feel like baby deer stumbling. Doctor said Sol catch self no worries but mess up day stop from doing much. Once barely catches self almost hit head on wall! Scary

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17 April: If you can't perceive the facial expression of others (for example because you focus too much on details, struggle to perceive people in general, or because you're blind), do you pay attention to the tone of their voice? Can you hear if someone is angry if they don't tell you? - if this question doesn't apply to you, you have a day off! :)

Sol don't understand tone of voice usually and take long time to learn but can! Know when mom mad, when people do baby puppy voice and when happy sibling. All know tho

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13 April: How important are routines to you? Are your routines more based on time ("I always do this at 6pm!"), on habits ("I always drink from this cup!") or both?

Routines very important need follow little change cause stress meltdown sick feel. All habit based Sol think too hard tell time.

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Missed many days D: gonna speedrun autism acceptance won't answer everything pick wich

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Sol type so hard sorry. Autism acceptance post when better hope

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10 April: Can you understand speech when there is background noise? If you're deaf: Could you understand speech when you were younger? If your hearing is aided: Does the sound make listening to speech uncomfortable to you?

Nope! Hehe not well anyway, background noise even if far away messes Sol up no longer understand what people say.

11 April: If you learned to speak as a child (definition for this post: the ability to use spontaneous speech (mouth words) to communicate in at least two-word sentences), did your ability to speak improve after that, stayed the same, decrease, or did something happen that you can't speak at all anymore now?

Sol assume echolalia scripting cont as spontaneous since it's mouth words? If not ignore, anyway speech mostly stay same until few months ago now it's fully gone. No idea if catatonia or autism or what cause decline doctors can't figure it out.

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9 April: Did an interest ever turn into an "obsession" for you? If not, do you regularly experience hyperfocus when you engage in your special interest? If nothing applies, tell us about your longest interest, no matter if it's a special interest or not!

Not sure? Sol rarely has interest that are normal and short, have either for years or weeks but can't think anything else.

Special interest/hyper fixation can be upsetting cause will meltdown if not thinking of them. But Sol love interest with all it heart helped Sol a lot, current interest welcome home arg and qsmp been hyper focusing on it hehe.

Longest interest Sol have is wolves had since very little! 🐺

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8 April: Do you struggle to read long texts or are you one of those people who can read everything with ease (Braille counts too of course)? If you're blind, do you struggle to pay attention when a screen reader reads a long text, or is it ok?

Sol usually avoid long text cause read slow and must reread understand. When Sol use screen reader can pay attention pretty well but HATE (hate) using screen reader so annoying to use rather read 3 times than try figure out phone reader.

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6 April: Can you understand what people say when they talk fast, or do you lose track after a while? Was it different when you were younger? Additional question if your hearing is aided: If your hearing is aided, does that trigger sensory overloads sometimes?

Sol can't understand if talk fast no process what say nothing but noise. Or brain stuck one part of talk won't move on so don't understand rest

7 April: Do you have other diagnoses? What are they? Do you think that some could be incorrect?

Sol has lotta health problems but diagnose anxiety schizophrenia fnd catatonia. Very on edge fnd diagnose cause mh used right off pain or give not helpful advice (being told mindful breath when don't help at all 😑)