cannachillblog

[cannachillblog]

[cannachillblog]

[cannachillblog]

details of ‘david’.

by, michelangelo.

[cannachillblog]

[cannachillblog]

[cannachillblog]

Letters to My Dead Lover 01

Days don’t work like that you see. From morning to noon I can be compiling the days events in my mind, all perfectly aligned and within reach, but when my eyes open and I cast them through the window, no longer does my mind participate with the illusion that I am fine. For I am not fine, as much as I may feel I am in the vicinity of my therapist office, I am not fine. All that I do to justify my emotions fade away into darkness for when they are truly present there is no justification that will cause them to dissipate. When I am fully present I am aware of the pain that not only I suffer but those across the world as well. The coffee shops I wish to go are viewed through a veil and seem so far out of reach. So far I cannot possibly get to them now, even when they were just a mere 15 minute drive from me. I recall sitting on the outdoor furniture, smoking as I have so many evenings before, and being told, gently, that you are gone, you are not coming back, and it is time for me to move on. No longer can I cry for you with someone near me, but instead my pain and my tears have already been internalized to be let out when I am met with the solitude I crave daily but also despise. For when I am alone all the memories come out to play. They are snowflakes falling from the blackest of skies and landing all around me, submerging me completely in a blanket of past, present and future.

[cannachillblog]

it’s called self sabotage baby and i do it so well

[cannachillblog]

“I used to love getting drunk. Then I tried drugs.”

— (via drugsruleeverythingaroundme)

[cannachillblog]

[cannachillblog]

[cannachillblog]

[cannachillblog]

Once upon a time I found fever dreams to be romantic. The mere words, the desperation the words held. Then they wouldn’t stop. The dreams, they fall upon me every night. Every night you seem to find your way into my mind, again, and again. Oh how tired I have become but you have not it seems. The sheets soaked in sweat leave me restless throughout the day.

Heat Wave

[cannachillblog]

I didn’t think I would recover. The darkness reached new layers I did not know existed, and I didn’t have a handbook to reference in my own mind. I had never been to this level, how could I know how it would turn out?

Blue Monday

[cannachillblog]

i’ll try 💘

Don’t. Fuck. This. Up.