cardigansandteas

[cardigansandteas]

no more little ghost i keep around

[cardigansandteas]

the casual demeaning has to relate to a deep rooted hatred, doesn’t it?

[cardigansandteas]

i don’t know how to trust anymore, they’re all liars and they’re all in it for themselves, somehow i’m shoved between them all and told what to feel

[cardigansandteas]

[cardigansandteas]

“through rough seas and no wind you love endlessly at risk to yourself

it breaks my heart but god it’s like watching the sunrise

you deserve people who take responsibility for their part in the rough seas”

[cardigansandteas]

when cavetown sang “and you made me lose my self-control, keep a place for me,” i thought of you

[cardigansandteas]

i feel that i am laying my head on the guillotine for you, trusting you to swing swiftly, to make it soft. and it isn’t. every time it hurts terribly, and yet i find myself here again, neck resting against wood as you take your stance with axe in hand. does that make me the fool?

[cardigansandteas]

always an angel never a god, always the bridesmaid never the bride, always the lover never the loved, always the needed never the wanted, always the fighter never the fought for

[cardigansandteas]

maybe in another life, you love me. maybe i’m not alone. as for this life, well.

i’ll carry all the love needed to pretend there’s something left to hope for.

[cardigansandteas]

sometimes i fear that i am simply an outlet for you

sometimes i fear that i will lose my usefulness and suddenly my value will be worthless

sometimes i fear that you play the part simply to keep me happy enough to go along

sometimes i fear that im okay with that

sometimes i fear that you don’t like me at all

sometimes i fear that it might be better to have a screen between us so you don’t get sick of me

sometimes i fear that when someone better comes along it will be a swift departure

sometimes i wonder why you like me at all

sometimes i wonder what you’d say if you had the chance to be honest

sometimes i wonder how many times you’ve lied to me

sometimes i wonder if you know when im lying to you

sometimes i wonder if you think im selfish

sometimes i wonder hopelessly what life with you could be like

sometimes i wonder if you know exactly what you’re doing to me

sometimes i wonder if you’ve read this all and laughed

sometimes i know you get sick of me

sometimes i know i can be the absolute worst person in the world

sometimes i know that we will always be intrinsically tied to one another

sometimes i know it’s destined to fall apart someday

sometimes i know that you won’t do it for me

sometimes i know it all far too well

sometimes i know you are going break my heart over and over again

sometimes i fear, sometimes i wonder, sometimes i know

[cardigansandteas]

will wood really was speaking lyrical genius when he goes “apologizing for my life and ever entering yours” because damn FELT my brother felt

[cardigansandteas]

i wish i knew at which point in my life i became too accessible for everyone around me

at which point it was easier to be seen as an asset rather than a person, as a “when needed” instead of an active engagement

i want to understand the moment that they choose to step back each time. have i become too comfortable? have i said too much? pushed too hard?

and each time i ask myself these things and i desperately try to see what ive done wrong. i want them to want me still. ill do whatever it takes for someone just to always want me

let me hack away at the pieces of me that you don’t like. let me curate myself to be perfect so that you’ll stick around. i’ll be exciting, i’ll be quiet, i’ll be happy go lucky or anything else you want

i know that i am boring. i know that i am sad. i know there is so much i lack so please make me a list and ill fix it all for you. i’ll make myself whole with the pieces of me that you hand pick, if you only tell me which to use

i just want someone to stay. please stay

[cardigansandteas]

you want to know THE paige mahoney song? because i promise most people haven’t heard it much less make the connection

once again i do not make the rules im just forcing you all to see the truth as is my duty to this fanbase :)

[cardigansandteas]

The Last Lab Rat CYOA #4

tllr au masterlist | tllr masterlist

content: second person pov, home invasion, manhandling, drugging, gag, restraints, kidnapping, creepy whumper

You chose: Fight! Struggle! There are knives over there on the counter, grab them!

— 

Fuck it. He broke into your home, it only makes sense for you to fight back. Good thing you’re in the kitchen, because a few knives are sitting in the knife block on the counter across from you. You finally have a chance to defend yourself, you have to take it.

You wrench your head to the side, getting away from whatever was about to poke into your neck, and you push away from him with all your strength.

But you get nowhere.

“Feisty one,” he lets out an amused chuckle. “You really don’t know when to quit, do you?”

You ignore his words and elbow him hard in the ribs. You’re flailing and thrashing, moving around too much for whatever he was about to do to you. With a deep breath, you bite the hand covering your mouth and he gasps in surprise, flinching back, giving you just enough room for you to stagger away from him.

He regains his composure quickly. “Hey, I wouldn’t step on that ankle if I were you. It looks bad.”

You don’t care. But you should’ve, because this time, your body can’t ignore the pain any longer. The last step you take, your ankle gives out and sends you collapsing to the floor. You cry out in agony, chest heaving in and out in a panic. You sit there, unable to get up, well aware that your attacker is coming towards you. As you scramble away from him, legs sliding against the floor, your back hits the cabinets. You turn around, vision tunneled. The knives are close. Your phone is close. Get to your phone. Get to the kni—

As you reach towards the counter above you, your wrist is grabbed in a firm but gentle grip.

You whirl around and look up at the man standing over you. Your horrified eyes are wide and panicked as you get a clear view of what the man is holding in his other hand.

It’s a syringe.

There’s nowhere to run. You’re cornered.

He kneels down and before you can react, he takes your other wrist in his hand, firmly holding both your arms away from him. Your struggles lead you nowhere.

Tears burn in your eyes as you feel a sharp sting in your neck, injecting whatever was in there directly into your bloodstream. You let out a pained whine. It hurts. You don’t want this.

You scream for help. It only lasts a second before he drops the now empty syringe and clasps a hand over your mouth.

“Shhhh, be quiet,” the stranger says. “Relax. It’s okay.”

You can’t, you can’t. This can’t be happening! You writhe against him, kicking out, trying to desperately pull your arms free but you can’t. 

“You’re only tiring yourself out. Just relax.”

You shake your head rapidly, getting hit with a wave of dizziness. You don’t care! You need to get away!

But you’re so tired. There’s a foggy feeling in your head. You blink, unable to shake the feeling. Your limbs are suddenly heavier and your movements are growing clumsy and weak.

Before you know it, your struggles die down and your body weakly slumps against him. It’s getting harder and harder to keep your eyes open.

“Good, that’s it. There you go.”

He takes his hand off your mouth and you can’t seem to muster up the energy to use your voice. You stare at him in defeat, looking up at his unnaturally green eyes that are staring down at you. A soft expression crosses his face, and he pets your head gently, hand carding through your hair, before turning around and grabbing something from behind him.

You shift uncomfortably where you lay on the floor, now slouched against the cabinets behind you. Whatever drug that was injected into your system is working fast, and you let out quiet sobs as you feel your body weaken further. Your breathing slows. Your eyelids feel heavy. You can barely move no matter how much you try.

He turns around. It’s too dark to see what he’s holding now; you can barely keep your eyes open. You feel a few strips of duct tape being taped over your mouth and smoothed over with his palm. 

You whimper through the gag, crying out as loud as you can despite the drowsiness overtaking you.

“Shhh. Stay still. It’s okay.”

None of this is okay. You don’t want this. You just wanna hide in your room and curl up in a ball where it’s safe.

He turns you around and your arms are pulled behind your back. Itchy rope rubs against your skin as it’s coiled tightly around your wrists, effectively restraining you. He grabs your legs, careful to avoid touching your sprained ankle, and you’re not strong enough to kick out anymore. He ties up your legs, and you’re completely restrained. You can’t escape.

Suddenly your eyelids are heavier than before. You don’t remember shutting your eyes. You slowly blink them open. But still… darkness. Oh, he’s tying a blindfold around your head. You barely noticed it.

You can’t see what he’s doing anymore, not like you could very well before in the dark anyway. You feel like you’re floating. Since when were you being carried in his arms?

Everything’s foggy, far away. You can’t keep track of the sounds around you, the direction he’s taking you. But you feel the breeze of fresh air on your skin. You’re not in your home anymore.

He gently sets you down somewhere small and enclosed. It almost feels cozy, warm…

Until a loud noise above you knocks you out of your thoughts. The sound of a car door closing. No, a trunk of a car. He stuffed you in the fucking trunk of his car.

You weakly kick out against it with your little remaining strength, crying out through the gag while the engine starts up and you feel the car start driving, gravel rumbling under the tires.

Realization finally sets in. This is it. He got you. The weird stranger who was following you home was now driving you off to who-knows-where, to do who-knows-what to you. You fought so hard, but he didn’t even break a sweat. You never stood a chance. There’s nothing you can do now. He has you.

You’re so tired. You can’t keep your eyes open any longer. You curl up in a ball, ignoring the discomfort, and your eyelids flutter shut. You finally drift off into unconsciousness while the man drives you further and further away from your home and into the unknown.

. . .

Eventually, you stir, waking up to darkness. It takes a little while for you to remember what happened, but you realize as soon as you feel the rumbling of the car all around you, and feel the rope digging into your skin. You’re still in the trunk.

Not for long, though. Only a few moments later, the car comes to a stop, and silence fills the air. It seems like you woke up just in time. Wherever the stranger was taking you, you’ve arrived.

Footsteps echo through the air and the trunk is opened, letting fresh air into the stuffy trunk. You tentatively move your body, but you’re still weak and stiff. You were out cold for longer than you thought you were.

“Ah. You’re awake.”

“Mmmf…” You whimper softly, barely audible. You still feel groggy, lightheaded, somewhere else. You can’t see where the stranger is, as your world is still filled with the darkness of the blindfold. You curl up deeper into a ball, making yourself small seems to be the only thing you can do at this point, and there's no use struggling when your body is weak and restrained.

“Aww,” the stranger coos above you. “It’s okay. Don’t be scared.”

His hands come down to wrap around your body, gently but firmly hefting you up into his arms, and holding you close. You freeze, unable to tell what was happening or what he was going to do to you. You feel the soft breeze in the air flowing through your hair as he starts walking, closing the trunk behind him.

There’s not much you can do now but wait, unable to see or move, you pay attention to what you can hear. He carries you up some steps, and through a door. It shuts behind you both. He shushes you when you cry as you are carried down and down and down more stairs, the air cooling around you. You can’t keep track of where he’s taking you, it all feels like a blur.

A sudden light flows through the fabric of the blindfold. You shiver. More steps, another click of a door shutting behind you, and you’re gently set down on something soft, your body melting into it.

“Okay,” he says, voice rumbling through your ears. “Let’s get you out of all this.”

Gentle fingers peel the blindfold from your eyes, and light fills your vision. You notice you’re in a small room, all white walls and bright fluorescent lights shining above you. The bed you’re sitting on is soft and warm, despite how much it reminds you of a hospital bed. You’re still restrained, your arms held firmly behind your back by the rope that’s now digging into your wrists, and your legs are still tied together. Your head is becoming clearer, and you look up at the stranger standing over you with wide, terrified eyes.

“Hi.” He’s smiling wide, as if he’s giddy with excitement. His hood is down now, and you can finally see him clearly. There’s a white streak through his short, slick black hair that falls out in all directions. His unnaturally bright green eyes bore into you. Despite the situation, his expression almost seems warm, kind.

“Mmh,” you squeak out a broken whimper. How casual he’s being about all this fills you with unease.

He takes a step towards you, and you flinch back violently, yelling through the gag in a panic.

“Shh, calm down, I’m just gonna help you out of this. I’m not going to hurt you.”

You don't believe him, but you do your best to calm down anyway, trying to steady your breathing and think smart about this. You look around the room more closely. There’s really nothing else here but a small nightstand to your left. There’s a door straight ahead, and a surveillance camera above it— the exit, you presume. There’s another door on the left wall, but it’s slightly open. The wall to your right is entirely made out of glass, and looking through it, there seems to be some sort of…

Laboratory?

You look back at him, not sure if you’re more or less calm than you were before, but he seems satisfied. He reaches toward you and you try not to flinch away this time.

He brings a hand to your face and rips the duct tape off, you yelp at the pain, and he winces and murmurs a quick apology.

You glare at him, but can’t hide your obvious fear seeping across your features. You tremble under his gaze.

“If I untie you, you’ll behave, right?”

next

— 

LAB TIMEEE

taglist: @creppersfunpalooza @whumpsday @watermelons-dont-grow-on-trees @inkwell-and-dagger @silly-scroimblo-skrunkl

@vidawhump @bottlecapreader @whumpinthepot @lumpywhump

let me know if you want to be removed or added to the taglist!

[cardigansandteas]

typing into search bar: how to tell someone “settle down” by ricky montgomery is about them

[cardigansandteas]

more fever dialogue cause the worms in my brain demand it:

“let me take your temperature. …oh, honey.”

“103.8? that’s impressive.”

“i can feel your heart pounding. does something hurt?”

feeling lymph nodes for swelling and picking up the febrile heat at the same time

“your fever is breaking. that’s a good thing.”

“drink some more water. i think you’re dehydrated.”

“you had a fever this high and didn’t tell anyone?”

[cardigansandteas]

Whumpee being manhandled into restraints:

Shoved up against a wall and handcuffed.

Pinned to the floor and handcuffed.

Fighting for each limb as they’re forced down on a table, slowly secured by leather restraints.

Overwhelmed by multiple Whumpers, each one working to subdue them.

Yanked back by their hair so a collar or rope can easily be fitted around their throat.

Pinned while in combat (double points for being caged against a wall or trapped in a chokehold)

Improvised restraints like belts, sheets, or clothing when Whumpee won’t be still enough to retrieve proper ones.

Manhandled in a hospital bed, held down for the duration of a procedure.

Injected with a chemical restraint, a sedative or numbing agent that quickly bleeds the fight out of them.

Struggling as a muzzle is wrestled over their head and secured.

A blow to the head that knocks Whumpee out or makes them too dizzy to fight anyone off.