caringforlilly-blog

[caringforlilly-blog]

Sick Day

Lilly woke up w a fever today so I took her to the pediatrician. She had a good report on her ears, strep test was negative, and they said it was likely allergies and teething. She also got a vaccine for Hep A. Jessica text at noon wanting to see how Lilly was, I told her about the pediatrician visit and Jessica asked to come see Lilly today. We originally planned for the park, but it was rainy through the evening, so I told Jessica she could come to the house at 6:30. She showed up on time, brought lilly some toys and dress up clothes, and they blew bubbles and played and she gave Lilly a bath and got her ready for bed. The watched some movies. The visit ended at 9:30 and went well compared to Saturday's visit fiasco. However, I was very concerned about Jessica's appearance. She didn't look high and wasn't acting strangely, but she is rail thin and her face, arms, and shoulders are all picked with scabs everywhere. It's very disturbing to witness because she is clearly still on drugs, though she may have been sober for the visit. She is doing all of this to herself. I'm worried that if she doesn't change her behavior and get some help for her disease that she won't live long enough to get Lilly back. It's a shame, but the person who is doing this and the person who can make the change are one and the same. I don't know if she wants it. Later

[caringforlilly-blog]

Late

So, I've been trying to figure out what I wanted to post because the last two visits have been so frustrating. After she left at 11:30 PM on my last post, she was invited to attend my sister's Wedding reception that Barry and I were hosting at our house on the 15th. I told her it was from 2-5:30 so that she could come, be at the party and see Lilly. Jessica showed up at 5. Then proceeded to take Lilly into her room away from the party. I had to ask her twice to let Lilly finish playing with her guests. When the guests left, Jessica gave Lilly a bath and got her ready for bed and left at 8. On Wednesday, which was Jessica's Birthday, she called to check on Lilly and plan for this week's visit. I asked her if she wanted to go to the lake, park, or the pool. She said that she wanted to the pool, so I told her we could do that, that she would need to wear a bathing suit, and that it was $7 for her to get in. I told her we would meet at 10 AM on Saturday and that I would text her the address. Saturday morning, I text her the address and she said her GPS put her arrival at 10:30 AM. No big deal. Lilly and I got to the pool at 10:30, no sign of Jessica, went in and started to swim. At 11:30, Jessica said she was there and asked if it cost anything to get in. I reminded her we discussed that, that it was $7 and she said she didn't have any money and that she would need someone to call her to bring her $7. I told her she was already late, that I would front the $7 for her and to get to the gate. I handed her a $20, told her to bring me my change and went back inside. Once inside, Jessica was in a bedazzled tank top, jeans, and a bikini bottom. I asked her why she hadn't worn a swimsuit since I specifically mentioned the pool had a dress code and she said she didn't have one, which is odd considering I've seen her in at least half a dozen different ones this year. I said whatever, she and Lilly got in the pool and played. At the hourly break, Lilly was fussy because she didn't want to stop swimming, but she was also getting tired. When I went to reapply sunscreen on her, she rubbed it in her eyes and her eyes were burning. Jessica tried to rinse them in the water fountain and when that didn't work I took her into the shower in the locker room and flushed them out. After that, lilly didn't want to get back in the pool. So, we ended up leaving at 12:30, even though Jessica didn't get but an hour with Lilly. When we left, Jessica buckled her in the car and said goodbye for a long time, but didn't say anything to me. She hadn't asked for another time to visit. She hasn't called or texted since. This is all very frustrating because I feel like Lilly isn't a priority to her. She is consistently late to her visits, completely disregards Lilly's schedule, and doesn't come prepared or dressed appropriately. If she doesn't want weekly visits then she should speak to her attorney. I guess I'm just tired of accommodating someone who doesn't want to do this. Hasta luego

[caringforlilly-blog]

Getting Back Into the Swing of Things

So, about 2 weeks ago, Jessica came back to GA from her trip in MO. She has her own car now, her own phone, etc. She called me on Tuesday night asking to see Lilly the following day. I explained to her that week nights are usually no good, because after Lilly gets home from school, she eats, plays a little, takes a bath, and goes to bed. However, I agreed to make it work, and asked her to meet us at a local park at 6 PM. She called me at 6, saying she was 45 min away, and I told her it wasn't a big deal since I picked up nuggets and planned to feed Lilly dinner at the park. She arrived at 7:05 and they played until 8:30, when I deemed that it was time for her to get ready for bed since she had school the following day. Jessica and I agreed to meet at Catch Air on the following Saturday and she and Lilly would play from 2 PM until Lilly had had enough. Jessica arrived at 2:10, they played until 5:30, and Jessica and I agreed that they could visit again on the following Tuesday, since it was the July 4th holiday. That Monday night, I get a call from Leslie, asking if they could take Lilly to a friend of Jessica's for the fireworks the following day. He said that Jessica hadn't wanted to ask me herself because I told her no at Easter and I also told her no when she asked if she could pick Lilly up from school. Leslie also said that Barry and I are invited as well, but if we didn't want to go they would like to take her. I said that we would go and he said that we would talk the next day. 4th of July afternoon, Jessica asked me via text if we could meet at the boat, so we drove over and arrived at 5:30. We hung out with my mom and Leslie for a bit, and Jessica came in from doing her laundry at about 6 PM. We left for the party at 8:15, arrived shortly after, and stayed to socialize and see fireworks until 9:30. Jessica texted on Friday and Sunday to ask how Lilly was doing, and was told that she was fine both times. Later on Sunday (today) she asked if she could see her for a bit, and I said that we would be headed to the park we went to last week after we finished eating dinner. This was at approximately 5:15. Lilly and I finished eating and drove to the park, where Jessica called and said it would be a little while before she got there, and could we try for tomorrow instead. At this point, I told her that this week was out of the question until my sisters wedding reception on Saturday, because I'm hosting it and we have a lot to do. I said we would wait for her and Lilly and I got out to play. Jessica arrived at 7:15 and played with Lilly, also bringing her a ball and an outfit. At 8:30, I told Jessica it was time for Lilly to get ready for bed and that she could either end the visit then, or she had the option of coming back to our home and getting Lilly ready for bed in order to spend more time with her. She came back to our house, gave Lilly a bath, brushed her teeth, dressed her for bed, gave her a snack, read her some stories, and played with her before tucking her into bed at a very late 10 PM. It's nearly 10:30 now as I type this, and I'm going to ask her to leave soon so that Lilly can rest for her week at school. Not too bad really. Just getting back into the swing of things and trying to reestablish the boundaries we have from the court. I've been relaxed about the 24 hour notice rule and gracious about the 4 hour per week minimum. But I cannot give her any lenience when it comes to unsupervised time with Lilly. Those are not my rules to break. Later gators

[caringforlilly-blog]

So Many Things

Sorry for such a huge lapse, but it has been nonstop for us over the last month. Visits at the lake have been good so far. I cooked a big Mother's Day lunch and brought it to the lake and Lilly gave her some art she did at school. Lilly's ENT said that she definitely needed tubes and that her previous ear infection was still going strong. He prescribed another 10 days of oral antibiotics and we scheduled a preop visit for a week before her scheduled surgery date of 05/24. I contacted Lilly's GAL who advised me that Jessica needed to be at the preop appointment to sign the surgical consent forms, and she was there for that. During the last month, I lost my job, so I gave Lilly's school 2 weeks notice and pulled her out of school on May 30. The previous weekend, my mama and Leslie went to Florida, so we held a couple of visits at the lake, but a different part than where they live. Jessica and Lilly played and swam and had a good time. A week or so ago, Jessica left to go to Missouri to be with Lilly's assumed biological father. I say assumed because in this state, if the parents are not married, a DNA test has to be conducted in order to prove the paternity before a child is considered to be legitimately theirs. No shade, just facts. Anyway, we knew in advance of this plan, let Jessica and Lilly have their visit, and I told Jessica I would be happy to do a video visit for her while she was away, since she gave me no timeline for her return. We haven't had a video Visit yet but she did call last night and ask about Lilly. Medically speaking, Lilly's surgery went off without a hitch. She came home, though fussy from anesthesia, and rested for a long while before having some food and drink and going back to bed. The next day, I sent her to school, where they said she was fine all day until about 4, when she got a nosebleed, fever, and her lips and nail beds turned blue. I picked her up and rushed her to the ER, where they gave Lilly a series of tests and x rays and fluids before sending her home with instructions to push fluids, take Motrin for fevers, and follow up with her ENT. I called the ENT the next day and he said that if she seemed ok to just watch her and to bring her in or take her back to the ER if she got worse. She recovered beautifully and I took her back to the ENT on Tuesday this week only because her ears still had a lot of drainage and a foul smell, as well as a bit of blood. He said it was ok, her ears were getting rid of the infection and prescribed 10 days of antibiotic ear drops. After only 2 days, Lilly's ears still smell, but the blood is gone and the drainage had reduced significantly. All in all, these past few weeks have been busy and crazy, but things are going well. Laters!

[caringforlilly-blog]

Pinkeye

After Lilly's visit on Monday, I put her to bed and she slept and all was fine and normal. The next morning when I woke her up to get ready for school and eat, her sweet little face was all puffy, her eyes were matted shut, and when we finally got all the funk out of them, the whites of her eyes had a nice pale pink tinge. Fuck. So, I called out of work, called the pediatrician, and called Lilly's school, who told me the day before that a boy in Lilly's class just had pink eye, and gave Lilly her breakfast. Then we drove to the pediatrician and, get this, she had pinkeye. New drops were prescribed, notes written for school and for work, and we were advised to keep Lilly home for 2 days. My mama had been notified of the situation before the pediatrician visit and I called after to confirm the diagnosis. She said she wanted to see Lilly anyway and that Jessica was there. Lilly snoozed in the car on the way to my moms and I stopped and got us Wendy's for lunch. Once we got there, Jessica, who had been told that Lilly had pinkeye, scooped Lilly up to love her and play with her. We got there at 11:30 and left at 2:45. The visit went well, they had a fun time together, and I got a chance to speak to Jessica about a different Visit arrangement. Because things didn't go so well at the last visit and Jessica heard some things that hurt her feelings, Like Barry referring to himself as "daddy," I had given the situation some thought and decided that if we had the visits earlier, like 12-4 ish, and at a neutral location, like the lake where my mom and Jessica's dad live, then the visits would work out better for everyone. Lilly would be less tired, and therefore less cranky, she could play and swim and get fresh air and exercise, and Barry and I could be there, but give Jessica enough space to have time a bit more privately with Lilly. I mentioned this possibility to Jessica and she seemed to think it was a good idea and subsequently agreed to the new arrangement. I did advise her that it would have to be weather permitting, of course, and that when the weather turned colder again we would have to reevaluate. All in all it worked out. Adios muchachos.

[caringforlilly-blog]

And the Train Never Stops

Sorry about the delayed postings, it's been a hell of a fortnight. So, let's start off with the court hearing. On April 11 we went back to court to have our custody situation reviewed. Lilly's attorney asked about how things are going and visitation etc, and then went back to speak w the judge and Jessica's legal counsel. Then, the GAL came back and asked if we knew where Jessica lives, and I said that I thought she was homeless since she and her BF "Flame" were on again off again. The GAL said that Jessica told her counsel she lived with her daddy and my mama, and I pointed out that my mom hadn't mentioned it, and it's unlikely she wouldn't know, since they live on a houseboat. Then Jessica's attorney pulled her aside and she came out and cried the rest of the time we were there. A little while later, the GAL brought Barry and I back to go over the court order and really nothing changed. We keep custody. Jessica gets at least 4 hours per week of supervised visits. And the judge ordered a 3 month hair follicle test for Jessica that Barry and I had to pay for. Also, she passed her urinalysis. The hair follicle test had to be taken before 04/20/17. Then maybe Thursday after the hearing, Jessica text to see how Lilly was doing and to make plans for Easter. She asked if she and "Flame" could take her to some place like an hour away with someone named Betsy that I'd never met or heard of. I told her that she could come visit before or after, or that I would take her to the get together and they could visit. Then, my mom invited me to a BBQ at the state park and I told her we would go. We showed up to the BBQ on Sunday after not hearing anything from Jessica for the rest of the week, and Jessica was there with "Flame" and his son. Lilly spiked a fever soon after we got there, so Leslie went to get Lilly Tylenol and in the meantime, Lilly came and sat with me and wanted to be held. Jessica then started to complain to another guest at the BBQ that I was keeping her from having the visit and asked them to get Lilly back from me. I sent Lilly back to Jessica and kept my distance for the rest of the visit. The BBQ lasted from 3-6:30 PM. Then, Jessica asked me to take Lilly to "Flame's" baby mama house for an Easter egg hunt, which I agreed to. We stayed until 8, then it was time to go home. Tuesday following Easter, Lilly was up all night, and I knew something wasn't right. So Wednesday I stayed home from work and took her to the pediatrician who diagnosed her with another double ear infection and referred her to an ENT for a surgical consult for tubes. We go to that doctor on May 1st. They have Lilly another round of antibiotics and I stayed home with her Thursday as well, just to make sure she was ok, since it was a new medicine. Friday came and Lilly's eyes were very gunky, so Barry took her back to the pediatrician and she was given a prescription for eye drops and children's Claritin, because she has allergies. I left Friday night to go to Nashville for my cousin's bachelorette weekend. Barry stayed home with Lilly and his mom and stepdad were here also. Lilly was happy and eating and playing and drinking, but Saturday and Sunday were the days she was hit with diarrhea from the antibiotics. My mother in law, being a retired nurse, fed her the BRAT diet (bananas, rice, applesauce, and toast.) Lilly's diarrhea cleared up and when I came home Sunday afternoon she was happy to see me. Jessica texted Saturday night saying she couldn't make visitation that day due to transportation issues and asked to try for Sunday instead. I told her Sunday would be fine and not to worry, since I was unaware of any visit scheduled for Saturday. On Sunday, Jessica texted saying that she couldn't make it and asked to schedule for Monday, today, at 6. I agreed. Jessica showed up at 6 exactly and played with Lilly and gave her a snack and a bath. I supervised most of the visit, until Barry came home and then he took over while I went to the store. When my mom and I came back from the store, we interrupted Lilly's playtime because my mom had bought her some new sandals she wanted to give to her. Lilly loves shoes and was very excited. Throughout the visit, Lilly had called out for Barry saying "dahdah," which is normal, but it upset Jessica. She left at 9:45 after putting Lilly to bed. Later dudes...

[caringforlilly-blog]

Unpacking

Well, we have started to move into our new house and things are going well. I have almost all of Lilly's stuff put away and her furniture is all here and put together. Her room is painted except for the closet and the trim and she has been sleeping in her big girl bed all weekend. We are getting ready to resume potty training as soon as we find her potty in all of these boxes. Jessica texted on Friday to see how lilly was doing and I told her she was doing fine. Today, since naynay and pawpaw were coming to finish putting together Lilly's furniture, Jessica asked to come see lilly. They got here at 8:30 ish and left at 11:15. Lilly was awake for most of the visit. Jessica fed her a snack and played with her and rocked her and read her some stories. Lilly was tired but fighting going to sleep so at 11 I told Jessica to put her in her bed and let her go to sleep on her own. She fell asleep quickly and Jessica and pawpaw left shortly thereafter. We go to court on Tuesday at 1:30. I'll update ya then. Laters...

[caringforlilly-blog]

Crazy Busy

So, here's the run down of the last 2 weeks. Sunday the 26th, we went to Catch Air and Jessica played with lilly from 2:30-4:30, which is when lilly got tired. We brought her home and relaxed the rest of the day. Then on the 27th, Barry was driving Lilly to school and they got into a fender bender on the way. Some lady backed into them in the parking lot. The police and firefighters were called out, it was her fault, and they checked on Lilly at the scene and recommended we take her to the er or Urgicare to be seen just to be sure she was ok, even though she seemed totally fine. We took her to Scottish Rite and she got a clean bill of health. I called Miss Faye, left her a message, and texted Jessica to let her know she was ok. We replaced her car seat and I stayed home with her to keep an eye on her for the rest of the day. Jessica came to see her from 7-8:00 PM. We had a visit scheduled for the 2nd, but Jessica couldn't get a ride and asked for the 3rd instead. Then on the 3rd, she had the same issue so she asked for tonight, the 4th, and we scheduled from 6-10. She showed up at 7 and stayed til 10. She and lilly played and she gave her a bath and rocked her to sleep while I cleaned our new house. We move in officially on the 8th, so it's been a hectic few weeks to say the least. But all is well. Adios muchachos...

[caringforlilly-blog]

Croup

Lilly woke up this am with a fever of 101.2 degrees. She had a barking, dry cough, and sick eyes. I gave her some Tylenol and took her to Children's Urgicare. They diagnosed her with croup, gave her an oral steroid and an epinephrine breathing treatment. We had to hold her and use the mask, so after the treatment I held her until she fell asleep and we stayed for 2 hours for monitoring. She's done well the rest of the day, eating and drinking and sleeping. She played quite a bit with Jessica from 6:30-10:00 PM. She took 2 baths today and watched some Sophia the First. Stories were read and songs were sung and other than her being sick she had a good day. Adios Amigos

[caringforlilly-blog]

Another Week, Another Entry

Evening! This week, lilly has learned to climb on everything and has, unfortunately, had a few mishaps and boo boos because of it. All in all, she did ok. Jessica came to visit tonight from 6:15 to 10:00 PM. She fed Lilly, played with her, read her stories, changed her a few times, watched a movie with her, and gave her a bath. Lilly was having fun, but she's at the age now where she wants to explore everything and she doesn't want to mind when you tell her "no." After redirecting her and telling her not to touch the electrical outlets, which are covered, several times, lilly got a hand spanking. When that did not deter her, she was put in time out for 1 minute. That got her attention and when she came out she did better about minding and not touching the plugs. Jessica called Robbie twice during the visit and they chatted about their stuff and lilly. Overall it was a good visit and everyone had a relaxing evening. Lilly went to bed without issue as soon as Jessica left. Later...

[caringforlilly-blog]

Same Ol' Same

Lilly has been doing ok these past two weeks. Sorry for the lapse in posts, but w day to day life, a sick momma, and trying to buy a house and line up a new job and new school for the kiddo, I've been very busy. After she got sent home with a fever a few days ago, Lilly went to the pediatrician on the 21st w another double ear infection. Her doc said that one more and we are looking at getting tubes in. We did another 10 day cycle of amoxicillin which was ok except she had diarrhea and an awful diaper rash that meant running around bottomless for a few nights to help air it out. Last Sunday, Jessica visited from 7:15-10:00 PM and Leslie came with her. We went to Burger King to play in their play area. Lilly had a good time until some little girl pushed her so we took her back home. Jessica played with her and gave her a bath and read her a story. This week, Jessica asked to visit on Saturday and Sunday and finally today after not being able to make it due to a lack of transportation. Our visit was scheduled tonight from 7-10, and she got here at 7:45 pm. She brought Lilly lots of toys and they played and she gave her a bath and read her some stories. Lilly had a good time. She's been a little trying this week, especially about going into the kitchen and she knows that's a no no. Unfortunately we have had to do quite a few time outs and spankings, but she did really well today. I hate having to discipline her, but I have to teach her to listen and follow the rules so that she will be good and safe. I guess it comes with the territory. Until next time...

[caringforlilly-blog]

Sick Again

Sorry for the delay.... Last week we had family staying with us so things were pretty hectic. My mom had her awake wake on Valentine's Day and Jessica came and spent about an hour and a half playing with Lilly. Lilly spent tons of time this week with my sister and her fiancé and my mom and her boyfriend so she was very happy. Jessica came to visit Lilly tonight from 7-10 PM (visit is going on now) and it was good. Lilly got to hear her biological dad on the phone and Jessica brought her a big stuffed unicorn. She was sent home from daycare today w a fever of 101.9 and I have been giving her Tylenol, Motrin and plenty of fluids. She had been kinda fussy all evening and I'll call the pediatrician tomorrow morning to have her checked out. It's probably either teething or another ear infection but the doctor will let me know. Until next time...

[caringforlilly-blog]

Work the Plan

Jessica visited Lilly from 8-10 on Thursday and that went fine. Then on Sunday, Jessica had a video chat with her mom (who is in prison) during her visit from 2:30-4:00 and that's when things got weird. Jessica's mom was talking about Jessica needing to move to Wyoming with the baby and Jessica decided that's what she would do when her mom gets out next month. She told Leslie her plan and I received a text from my mom. Considering we don't go to court until April, I called Lilly's attorney, Miss Faye. Miss Faye told me that unless Jessica does something there's nothing that can be done other than to closely supervise her visits and to call the police if anything unusual happens. If Jessica tried to get unsupervised visits we would have to testify that she had disclosed plans to take the baby and flee the state. For now, it's going to be business as usual. But miss Faye did say that it seems Jessica is not working her plan. Later gator...

[caringforlilly-blog]

More of the Same

Last night Jessica came to visit from 8:00-10:00 PM. She brought Lilly 3 bracelets to play with. They had a fun time. Jessica wanted to bring a friend w her, but since I was sick and I had a messy house and don't know this person, I asked her not to. I finally got Janet's message so that she can video chat Jessica and Lilly. We are in the middle of trying to coordinate that. My mom and Leslie stopped over for a bit to play w Lilly today after school. As usual, she's a happy girl. Later gator....

[caringforlilly-blog]

Another week

Jessica came by to visit with Lilly tonight from 7:15-9:45 PM. They had a good time other than they both were obviously tired. Jessica brought Lilly a stuffed frog, which was better than the tiny trolls she brought her last week. Lilly has been going to school and coming home, having dinner, playing, having a bath, and going to bed after stories, songs, and prayers. She is always happily jabbering away and has been in a great mood, with the exception of a few tantrums here and there. Her diaper rash cleared up. She still has a runny nose and a cough, which I'm treating with a non pharmaceutical decongestant. Until later...

[caringforlilly-blog]

Follow Up

Lilly had a follow up appointment today w her pediatrician and she has grown, gained weight, and is all better from her double ear infection. They said not to worry about the cough or the runny nose as long as it doesn't have a fever or her picking at her ear, and to let her run around diaper free to clear up the diaper rash. Jessica came over to visit from 7:00-9:15 PM. They played and ate pizza together and I was going to have Jessica bathe her, but she had to leave and Lilly hadn't pooped yet (if I try to bathe her before she poops, she will poop in the tub.) Overall good day. Back to school tomorrow for Lilly and then home for the weekend. Until later...

[caringforlilly-blog]

Smooth Sailing

Lilly has been doing well. She is still teething but her only symptoms have been pain, drooling, and some diarrhea. She has a diaper rash, but it is clearing up with the use of A&D cream. She played at the park on Saturday and Sunday she went to see her naynay and pawpaw and then we went to catch air. Jessica was supposed to come to catch air as well, but she was unable to make it. However, we did have a visit last night from 7:30-10:00 PM. Jessica played and had a snack with Lilly and then she gave Lilly a bath and got her ready for bed. We've scheduled another visit for Thursday after Lilly's check up. Things are going well. There's not been any unnecessary drama. Jessica is working to find a job. It's been smooth sailing this week so far. Until next time...