caryss25

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“Find ecstasy within yourself. It is not out there. It is in your innermost flowering. The one you are looking for is you.”

—

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I might think I can't take it any more, that I can't go on any more, but one way or another I get past that.

— Haruki Murakami, After Dark

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“Every day I discover more and more beautiful things. It’s enough to drive one mad. I have such a desire to do everything, my head is bursting with it.”

—

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Wherever I go, whenever I see the places all the bad memories comes back like a huge waves-it drowns me.

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The back part of my head didn't hurt the same like the last time but I'm afraid of possible things might happen.

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Hi,

Can someone beep me.... or have a moment to just i dunno? Talk? Hayssst

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How I wish it was just real.

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Hey, morning .

Its 4:11 I wake up feeling something. I dream of you and your face is so vivid. Everything is so real.

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Another day, another hope

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I may not be the right one, but I never left you.

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I wrote this last April 18, 2020 this is dedicated for my first love who had a big impact to my life. I do hope someday she can read all the stuffs I made. I really wanted her to know that this is no longer a sad poem which she doesnt like at all.

“Wise man say only fools rushed things” maybe I was a fool back then when I said I want to be your girlfriend just for a kiss and then I asked you without a single doubt about us. I was full of lust looking at your eyes that I can remember the color of it; it was brown.

“But I can’t help, falling in love with you” it seems like I was uncertain entering your life like it was just a peek of a privilege, but I was wrong. I saw different, your moves how you stand still, how you care for me like everybody else, the excitement. I thought it was fun not until my heart finally knows how to calm and how peace I am with you.

“shall I stay? Wouldn’t be a sin? If I can’t help, falling in love with you.” After that I wasn’t thinking of everybody else except for my friends to like you for me. I wasn’t hesitant for my feelings for you and for the rest of my life I was expecting you felt the same. Both of us sync and what we do, knowing it’s already a sin but we can’t help it, just continuing what our feelings trying to let out in our bodies. I was already in love and I can’t hide it when I held your hand when we walk together in the hall and cafeteria.

“darling, so it goes some things are meant to be” a night full of people there was you standing in the crowd. Colorful lights and became dimmed, I was holding your phone and recording you. I whispered, ‘I will marry this girl’.

“take my hand, take my whole life too” I was so sure and never been so sure my whole life, I love you.