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~*~* casphanie rabbit dates *~*~ ( listed in no particular order, may be incomplete! )

high school musical 3

whisper of the heart

bushes of love

tangled

enchanted

google feud

mulan

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~*~* casphanie *~*~

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misc. 008 / WHEN IT’S OUR ANNIVERSARY.

open when... it’s our anniversary!

i think by the number you should be able to tell what this is for. i’d put this under an open when, except i just felt like it. heheh. it’s the eighth miscellaneous letter i’m writing for you, and this is to be read on the eighth of the eighth month. at this point, isn’t casphanie synonymous with infinity? i’ll be taking a long way down memory lane for this, so expect a long long post ahead! ( maybe i’ll even divide it into two parts, who knows. ) without further ado, here’s my version of the casphanie story! disclaimer note, this account only has some of what i consider the ~* iconic *~ moments, and may be incomplete! feel free to tell me if you want anything added! heh. ( dates are based on my timezone! )

on july 30th, 2016, i came on to a conversation where you jokingly say you’re open to a polyamorous relationship. you should be taking note that this was just a day or two after we met, so i was not fully aware of who you are and what your views are! i wasn’t about to be judgmental about a man who i might or might not be crushing on! so i asked, to confirm, whether or not dating you meant having to share and be shared. you held me possessively in response ( isn’t it cute how you’d react the same way if i asked you this even now? ) and i asked you what dating you meant. 

"i want to write about you, but how could any combination of the 26 letters really accurately describe the ethereal being that is you. but god- i would spend my time writing poems about the crinkle by your eyes as you smile, or the way you hold my hand is one of my frames of reference. i suppose dating me isn’t a simple equation but i want you to know that your smile is like sunshine to me and i savor each moment we spend together because there’s just something about you- i can’t fully explain. but for some reason, i want to hold you, and take care of you.” 

on july 31st, 2016, you were the first to wish me a happy birthday! you’ve referred to me as your princess even before we got together, and though the nickname still does make me blush up to this day, you should be able to tell why i was so convinced you were a flirt! not only did you claim me, you even referred to me as royalty. call me easy, but anyone would fall for a cheesy and great smelling man who calls them a princess!! you couldn’t even tell me you loved me, yet, and only told me you adored me. i remembered vividly waking up to a bouquet of beautiful pink roses, together with a glass of coffee and some very cute ( and very delicious ) cupcakes!

“happiest birthday, my princess! 21 years old and kicking ass, heh. i adore you, and wish you an opulent year ahead of happiness and love, and home. i’ll make sure of it! let’s celebrate. p.s. my heart is full of love for you.”

on august 1st, 2016, you accused me of liking you! this is one of the most adorable conversations i can recall us having! i couldn’t admit to liking you just yet, but you were already so sure about it, pffft. 

- “cheeseball cheeseball cheeseball.” - “you like cheese!!!” - “i do!! a whole lot!!” - “and you like me!” - “. . . . . well.” - “you . . . more than like me.” - “isn’t that you towards me. pft.” - “then how do you feel about me?” - “a lot of emotions at once! it’s a cozy balance of relief, happiness, excitement and elation! i thought i told you this.” - “ngh, yes. thank you, baby.” - “why the sudden thank you? aw.” - “because i’m happy that you feel the same way, ehe.” - “what did i do to deserve you again?” - “you’re being yourself, that’s all you have to do.”

on august 4th, 2016, i made a kakao account for you! eheh. your first message to me was asking whether or not i was the person you were looking for, eheh, and i responded by asking who you were in return!

“OH. WELL I’M YOUR OPPA AND YOUR CAS AND JUST GENERALLY YOURS!”

on august 7th, 2016, we used our first couple dp! and we’ve been using couple dp’s since then, haven’t we?

> feel free to redirect yourself! <

on august 8th, 2016, you became mine as i became yours, also the first time you’ve directly told me that you loved me instead of adoring me, yes yes? hehe. thank you, sweetheart, for making me the happiest ever since. ♡

“my heart beat is a song about you, and i’m just following the music. your hands in mine is my frame of reference. the best of you, the worst of you; i choose both. i am only yours, and i will always be yours. i love you.

truth be told, it’s taken me hours to finish this letter. perhaps it’s the nerves, or the anticipation? no matter what it is, my heart is racing as i type all of this down.

usually, words are my forte. i love writing and poetry but for some reason my mind is spinning so fast that i can’t formulate the sentences; there are so many thoughts in my head, but they’re all about you.

about your smile, and laugh, and the way you look so beautiful naturally as you sleep; how you just fit perfectly in my arms, and how we kiss like we have all the time in the world. i see forever with you, stephanie. it’s scary to say so but god- you make me brave. you are worth all the risks.

i really am so in love with you.

i love coming home to you, and falling asleep with you, and waking up with you in my arms. i adore the way you smile, and laugh, and hold my hand. and i can’t get enough of our playful arguments, and all the cuddles in between.

i love you, stephanie. and i’m asking you to be mine, officially; only mine as i am only yours.”

on august 11th, 2016, we had our first movie date! high school musical 3, yes yes? and that was only the beginning of our many movie dates! thank you for singing along with me and letting me hide in your arms whenever i get all sad or scared, hn. 

> feel free to redirect yourself! <

on august 13th, 2016, we got ourselves our first pup! i remember not being home with you during the entire adoption process, and the story of how flynn was the only one left still makes me sniffle, but i’m glad we got our second pup together! flynn’s presence not only makes me one of the happiest, because he’s so so adorable hn, but is only a blessing to the both of us, isn’t he? whenever one of us isn’t around for the other, we always have an accountable pup to cheer us up! 

- “COME HOME SOON, HE’S BEEN PAWING AT MY CHEST- AND YET SO SHY.” - “ARE YOU TREATING MY BABY WELL.” - “HE’S ALSO MY BABY, HUSH. AND YES, OF COURSE.” - “WHY ARE WE CONSTANTLY ARGUING ABOUT OWNERSHIP.” - “I’M NOT ARGUING. I’M SAYING HE’S OURS.”

on december 8th, 2016, we reached our fourth month together! now, i’d put every monthsary we’ve had here, except, like i always mention, everyday feels like an anniversary with you! the fourth would probably be the one put up here because it’s on december, also the month of our first christmas together! i find it extremely amusing and interesting how you still sound the same whenever you talk to me, despite this being four months ago! just shows how little you’ve changed, right? still the same person i fell for, and am constantly falling for. you were already referring to be as your future wife though, ehe ~*

“you told me that every day feels like a monthsary, that each day is a celebration of this love. and i couldn’t agree more. however, this is a special day! and you always, always deserve the best, my love. on the night we met, i already saw how the moonlight kissed your skin and i had realized clearly, that i am meant to do the same. you are the weirdest person i have ever met and i really love that about you, y’know? you’re SO DORKY. and you’re my dork. i would go on my knees and whisper hymns to your skin, not because you are a holy temple. but because you’re you. i have honestly never felt this secure. my past self was always so doubtful but then i met you and you- you keep me safe. this isn’t much, but i really hope this makes you smile, baby! i still have my christmas gift to you, hehe. to my stephanie, my princess, my mochi bun, my baby (future) wife. happy four months! forever to go.”

on april 8th, 2017, you gave me one of my biggest moments of disbelief and laughter! this day also made me realize just how much and why you enjoy naked cuddles. pfffft. also, it was our 8th monthsary! 8 was always my favorite number, and you’re giving me more reasons to love it. hn. award of the most extra hubby goes to you!

“topic proposal: why steph should let me nuzzle her boobs i. in regards to our eighth monthsary      a. to celebrate our eighth month, it is only fitting that you allow me to nuzzle your boobs in the process.      b. it complements the cuddles we’ll have tonight, considering that we’ll most likely be:           1. naked as we cuddle           2. more sentimental (because our celebration will heighten our emotions)           3. in a teasing mood ii. to enhance my motivation      a. your boobs are divine           1. because of this, being able to nuzzle my face against them will somehow bless me with the capacity to finish all the work i need to do           2. i will worship and adore them, and kiss them as i should. hehe.      b. with my motivation enhanced further, this guarantees more overall productivity. iii. how this benefits you as well      a. i will do my best in ensuring it is a pleasurable experience for the both of us           1. being aware of how your body reacts to stimula, i will use my hands, lips and tongue to make you feel good           2. if we were to cuddle naked, even more so      b. i will be giving you even more kishes in compensation of your permission.”

on may 25th, 2017, the butterflies in my stomach were exercising to their extreme! this is the day i woke up as your girlfriend, and went to sleep as your wife. the day i got to see my beloved in a tux looking as dashing as ever. the day the ring on my finger first settled in. the day it was okay for me to be the center of attention. the day i allowed you to keep staring. the day of many magical moments! thank you for making me the even happier than happiest, my darling. thank you for letting me be the privileged one to receive your beautifully written vows. 

“here’s to my stephanie; my best friend, my darling, my princess, the love of my life, my soulmate, my everything, and soon- my wife. where to even begin, really. you often call me a poet, but you’re the one who can make any word sound so beautiful that you leave me speechless.

i remember the first night we met. we started off talking about our similar interests: from greek mythology to oriental food and comic books. it was so mundane yet little did we know that this instant connection we had grew into so much more. suddenly, i couldn’t help but keep thinking of you, but keep talking to you. perhaps it wasn’t love at first sight, but in just one night, i already knew you’d be important to me.

it was scary at first. my past relationships didn’t really end that nicely and things like those leave scars and i honestly was thinking no relationship i’d get in would work out; that it would always end with broken vases and abandon. but you appeared and i can’t describe it but you began to change my mind and my heart little by little. how else can i say it but that, whenever i was going to see you, i felt like i was going home. i’ve never felt as safe and as secure until you entered my life, sweetheart. you show me miracles every single day. 

you let me into your heart, and always make me feel loved in return, just as much as i love you. i’ve never had that, and it makes me realize that we must have met at that time in our lives because we were finally ready for the real thing, y’know? that we had to go through all those challenges so we know how to love when the real thing happens. we really are each other’s right person, baby. there is no doubt in my mind, there never has been, when it comes to you.

i promise to take care of you, to always love you and keep you safe. i have once felt like each thing i’d hold would break but you let yourself be vulnerable in my hands, you always trust me and i will always keep this trust. let’s continue building this home together.

i promise to love you when you are happy, and when you are sad. when you are in perfect health, and when you are sick. from this moment until we meet again in another universe, and onwards from then.

i promise to love you even when you don’t feel like you can love yourself. i promise to love you even more when that happens. i will pick up any broken piece and we’ll put it all back together. no love is perfect, but that is why i admire it. people are messy, and love is messy. but it is love that makes us see that it will always be worth it.

you are worth everything, my baby. i cannot give you the world, but i am giving you everything of me. i am all yours, my love. infinitely. i am so very in love with you, and i cannot wait to finally become your husband.”

this may not be what you expected for an anniversary gift, but i thought it would be adorable to remind you of some of the moments of our relationship that makes me really really think about how lucky i got with you! happy anniversary, my love, my best friend, my darling, my sweetest, my soulmate, my husband, my life! here’s to many many more anniversaries ahead of us, yes yes? more shared moments, more christmas’ and halloween’s! new year’s and even valentine’s! you make me look forward towards the future, you always have. we’re slowly accomplishing an idea we talked about almost a year ago about traveling around the world together, and i can’t wait to visit the most beautiful places with the most beautiful person. i love you! 

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misc. 007

- “Patrick Moore told viewers that they could experience the phenomenon by jumping in the air at the exact moment the alignment occurred. If they did, they would feel weightless, like they were floating…At 9:47 am, he told everyone, ‘Jump now!’ Then he waited. One minute passed, and the BBC switchboard lit up with hundreds of people calling in to say they’d felt it. One woman phoned from Holland to say she and her husband had swum around the room together. A man called from Italy to say he and his friends had been seated at a table, and all of them - including the table - rose into the air. Another man called from the States to say he and his children had flown like kites in their backyard.”

- “Did those things actually happen?”

- “Of course not. It was an April Fool’s joke…But I bring it up to let you know that this is the way I feel right now. Like Pluto and Jupiter are aligned with the earth and I’m floating.”

— Theodore Finch to Violet Markey on ‘The Jovian Plutonian Effect’ (this is exactly how I feel around you all the time, if you’re wondering)

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WHEN IT’S YOUR BIRTHDAY.

open when... it’s your birthday!

you know, while writing these, i start thinking whether or not i should put a disclaimer note on top saying to not open the messages until the situation is necessary, considering i know how curious you can get as a person, but then again, this site in its entirety is created for you, so i shouldn’t be telling you what and what not to do. eheh.

just a good two decades ago, the world heard the most beautiful cry on a friday, and the adorable baby was to be named after the angel of friday’s, castiel. he grew up to be a, self-proclaimed i might add, rebellious teen. i don’t know about you, but i like to think that you’ve had your fair share of thirsty girls, and guys, after you, during your years of school. this links to me being half grateful and half sad that we didn’t attend the same school. i mean, hey, we could have started dating since then! ( though i’m never going to be sure about how you would view me then. yikes. ) but at the same time, i’d hate seeing you with another person in your arms, but equally love the smile you’d be having if s/he surprises you with something you like! maybe satay! maybe a marathon of disney movies! you know, things we have and do for our dates. it’d be a constant internal conflict. grr.

and then came the day when the both of us decided we’d walk into each other in a park. and the rest was history, wasn’t it?

heh, just kidding. i’d write you a casphanie story from phanie’s point of view except that’s going to be saved for another post so good luck looking for that post! the intention for this post is to, after all, wish you a happy happy birthday! ( can you believe it took me a few paragraphs to get to the point? talk about rambling. )

this is the second time we’re spending your birthday together, isn’t it? i admit i was being extremely hopeful when i told you i wanted to spend more birthday’s together a year ago. i knew i loved you a lot, but, like i told you, an anniversary seemed so far from reach, especially judging from how all my past relationships worked out. but here we are, you, standing before me, looking as beautiful as i remember, even more beautiful, in fact, as you grow into a better person each day. thank you for letting me spend yet another year with you, my love! thank you for letting me watch you grow, and thank you for letting my annoying self still stay next to you ( despite how whiny and clingy i can get ). i suppose this is a lot to ask, but maybe let me stay for another year? i’ll stop asking when i’ve spent enough birthday’s together, promise! (read:never)

i wish you nothing but another amazing year ahead, preferably one as amazing as you are, except i don’t think anything can be rationally compared to how bright my starlight shines. i can’t promise you only the greatest of days ahead, but like i’ve always said, and like what you’ve always reminded me, i’ll be next to you through thick and thin, hands in yours, fingers tightly intertwined.

happy birthday, cas! i love you! 

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misc. 006

i was so convinced that i would be updating this site often, and apologies because you had to come back to such a poorly updated happy box! ( that is, if you do come by from time to time. hnn. )

i hope you’re aware ( i’m sure you are ) that when i start writing letters, like this one, i don’t actually start with any topic in mind, which means that i am in no way exaggerating when i say that thinking about you makes me write a lot, and it happens quite automatically. i could start thinking of the way you’d stare at me, and i’d already start rambling about why i’m shy about it and how i wouldn’t stop, and well. so you see why these miscellaneous messages would never end, do you not?

i haven’t been visiting this site often, and as soon i did log in, i was greeted with a letter i wrote for you during our six monthsary! can you believe that that’s been six months ago? back when we were dating, and not married? reading it instantly made me feel fuzzy, especially because our love towards each other has not really changed compared to yesterday, a week ago, a month ago, six months ago, even dating back to eighth of august, 2016. if anything, it’s only grown stronger, isn’t it?

i’d start saying my thank you’s for everything you’ve done, and will probably keep doing, except that would be a little too long for a little miscellaneous message like this. heh. so for now, thank you for wasting your precious time to see what’s inside steph’s mind! now on to the other posts! eheh.

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misc. 005

did i have this all planned? maybe. did i keep procrastinating to make this? yes. heh. i was thinking of what to give you during valentines’ ( in line with the entire milkis event ), and i came up with anything a big dork like you can come up with. without further ado, here’s a list of impersonations of the love of my life!

my cute lil baby princess! 

my baby wife. my cutie baby. my everything baby.

;   ;

grr.

ngh.

* insert list of things to remind steph to bring *

stay safe!!

aaaaah

fuzzy fuzzy

u // u 

hehe

:o

o,

i missed you!!

* insert dorky puns *

come here often, beautiful? * winks *

>:’(

* peeks whenever i shower *

sleeping time!!

mark me.

f8

n n noona.

it’s possible with the power of loooOOOoOOoove

rent is my favorite musical of all time!!

A L L T H E S A T A Y

* fights steph on who loves who more *

kishes

nhh

> // <

and this isn’t really a lot compared to what you’ve given me for all these months but i hope it makes you smile! ehe. happy valentines’, my sweet. 

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in honor of yet another pun of your name, here’s some custard pie. ehe.

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misc. 004

surprise, surprise! i sure hope that you didn’t forget about the existence of this site, oh my. if you’re reading this, happy six months! in case you did remember this site, were you surprised when you noticed it was gone? eheh. there’s honestly no point in writing this except to tell you the meaning behind the new url! 

as you have noticed, i’ve been trying to come up with puns with your name when it comes to a gift every now and then, and i happened to think of this one! a casket is a noun, ( or maybe it isn’t, idk, blame google. heh. ) which means a small ornamental box or chest for holding jewels, letters, or other valuable objects. i personally think it serves as a great symbolism for you, don’t you think? you fit the image of a little container full of wonderful things - your looks, your view on things, your personality, your reactions, your mindset, your smile, your laugh, your smile, your personality, your smile, and the list goes on! 

similarly, i love how i can confide into you when it comes into telling things i used to have a hard time telling people, and i assure you that you have what i see as one of the most valuable things i used to own ( especially from a biological point of view ehehe ) which happens to be my heart! i gave it to you ( despite always accusing you of stealing it ehehe ) and you’ve been doing a very great job at keeping it safe thus far, and i’m sure you’ll continue doing the same, if not a greater, job in the future. you make me look forward towards our future together, and there’s no better feeling than to wake up next to you and remind myself of the fact that i’m engaged to the most amazing person in the entire universe. 

i love you, and happy six months!