cathybird0714

[cathybird0714]

Those drawings I did of them

[cathybird0714]

I want to see Sam and Dean wearing glasses, so I took the initiative to add them☝🏻🤓

[cathybird0714]

i think the funniest part of dean’s recount of the infamous “you brave little soldier” sam moment in tall tales is the bit where he reassures weepy sam at the end of the interaction because he’s somehow conceptualized that not only is sam this overly emotional wreck but one who depends on dean for comfort and that dean provides that like that is literally so fucking funny to me as if early seasons sam wasn’t one bad mood away from taping dean’s mouth shut for peace and quiet at all times like yeah once every five episodes sam has a hard time about his visions but dean provides base level comfort and the way dean is retelling this moment is like he literally sees himself as sam’s mother hen on a day to day basis i love you dean you’re so odd

[cathybird0714]

Tried playing 'Carry On Wayward Son' on piano🎹

[cathybird0714]

[cathybird0714]

Today I discussed with my friend that Dean and Sam are like oysters. They protect themselves with very hard shells. Dean's shell was badly damaged in the early seasons, but Sam's was destroyed more seriously by various things over time and his shell was almost broken. In the end they moved into the same shell...

[cathybird0714]

About Sam and Dean’s relationship, my friend and I discussed a metaphor : It’s clear that they were both incomplete shapes from the start.Sam was slightly better off, his shape a little closer to a circle. But after 15 years of fate’s torment, they clung so tightly to each other that they gradually took on each other’s form, merging into one unbroken, perfectly round shape—a whole that could no longer be separated. They functioned as a single unit, supporting each other and moving forward… until Dean died. Then Sam was left to live out the rest of his days as a broken shape, in a world where no one else could ever understand that missing piece.

[cathybird0714]

Is Tumblr's recommendation algorithm just not sensitive or what? It keeps pushing posts about fandom drama that I'm not interested in. I've clicked "not interested" countless times but it's completely useless.

[cathybird0714]

I once followed a very, very long fanfic where the author loved sharing details of her life in the chapter notes. Chapter by chapter, I watched as she got married, started trying for a baby, struggled with infertility for a long time, went through medical tests that revealed both she and her husband had fertility issues, and how deeply they both sank into depression... Then after what felt like ages, she suddenly announced she was pregnant – with twins! Wow, that moment I genuinely felt so happy for her. It's such a magical experience to witness fragments of a stranger's life journey through their fanfiction.

[cathybird0714]

Congratulations on getting accepted into university for your graduate studies that's awesome!!!!

For art request.. I would love to see j2 being cute together in your art style, it's so good <3

Thank you anon! And I wanted to paint this scene for a long time:3

[cathybird0714]

I got accepted into a prestigious university for graduate studies!! This means I'm now enjoying a wonderfully unstructured break, so does anyone want to drop some art requests? Feel free to send them to my ask box！

ps:I don't take NSFW requests sorryyy

[cathybird0714]

I watched "Dark Side of the Moon" today, and I have to talk about that fight between Sam and Dean. Like, here Dean is, dead and in heaven, and the first thing that happens to him is he relives a favorite memory of his that centers completely around Sammy, happy, young Sammy twirling around under the fireworks on 4th of July 1996. And when Cas gets in touch with Dean right after that, Dean immediately says, "if I'm in heaven, where is Sam?" Then we start marching through Sam's happy memories, and they're ALL without Dean, all moments that signify independence from his family, and Dean starts yelling at Sam, telling him that Sam leaving for Stanford was "one of the worst nights of my life."

Dean: I mean, we’re supposed to be a team. It’s supposed to be you and me against the world, right?

Sam: Dean, it is!

And therein lies the crux of it because it does not matter what Sam does, it doesn't matter that he's been with Dean almost constantly since he left with him in season 1, it doesn't matter how many times Sam has told Dean "I'd do anything for you/I'd die for you," how absolutely unhinged Sam has been when faced with the potential loss of Dean (offering to turn them into immortal Frankenstein monsters, going full Patrick Bateman in "Mystery Spot"), Dean is always hanging onto the fact that Sam experienced happiness with other people in a life that did not include Dean, that he left once and could therefore leave again. Not saying I blame Dean for being extra raw and sensitive at this point in time, given the weight of the apocalypse and his steady loss in faith that he can do anything other than wait for destruction to rain down, but as Sam pointed out, he's not even controlling this memory romp in heaven. He doesn't mean for those particular memories to be sliding by nor does he personally think they're more significant than his life with Dean.

It reminds me of one of the most heart-wrenching parts of The Great Gatsby, when Jay can't get over the fact that Daisy actually loved her husband Tom for a while. He needs her marriage to have been a fake placeholder of a thing while she waited for him.

"I love you now – isn't that enough? I can't help what's past. I did love him once – but I loved you too." is what Daisy says, but it's not enough for Jay. Even knowing she loved him then and loves him now, the fact that she had a whole separate life from him in the middle, one that actually gave her happiness, negates it all for him.

Dean is so all or nothing about Sam in that way, so consumed with black-and-white thinking. The Stanford years are always looming in the background like a growing stain anytime Dean feels like Sam's love isn't genuine or Dean feels unlovable/unwanted/fears abandonment and is looking for confirmation that his fears are true.

This argument between them felt like a sister conversation to the one in "Salvation" where Sam merely suggests that he might go back to Stanford once Azazel is killed, and no matter how many times Sam says "I'd do anything for you, Dean" and swears that not wanting to be a hunter full time doesn't mean he's going to leave Dean again, all Dean hears is, "I'm leaving and never coming back." Ugh... GUTTED I AM.

[cathybird0714]

IS HE THE BEST PERSON TO GET LIFE LESSONS FROM??

[cathybird0714]

my attitude：

[cathybird0714]

girl Sam would literally be masc like as masc as she could get away with and girl Dean would try to teach her how to do mascara and show her cleavage and she'd be like no bc I'm not like other girls I like BOOKS and girl dean would be like ok freak...... you know you could be so hot if you didn't dress like a newsie. And girl Sam would be like. My sister is such a whore. 🙄

[cathybird0714]

big if true

[cathybird0714]

And this scene—Gee, what kind of normal person talks to their brother like that? I couldn’t even say stuff like that to my best friend. One time, my bestie and I tried acting it out, and we both cringed so hard we started screaming.

ok not only are the things Dean says to his brother weird, but Sam’s reaction–or lack thereof–is weird too!! He’s not even fazed by “I get all tingly when you take control” or “shake it up baby” or “do I look like Paris Hilton”–maybe a scoff or bitchface at most. To him it’s just ‘ugh big brother teasing,’ maybe even funny. It doesn’t register as WEIRD. And now I’m imagining someone else witnessing an exchange like that and being like, “so, uh, does your brother always talk to you like that?” and Sam is just, ??? “like what” because Dean’s just being an annoying big brother right?? That’s normal, isn’t it? No, Sam, no it’s not