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y’all remember when otohan asked imogen if laudna was her favourite person and then skewered her on a sword and killed her? because i do. i remember that. i think about it every day.

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[2/4] Bells Hells: LAUDNA →

I pick it up. Just press my forearms and my cheek against the Sun Tree as it's the first warmth she's felt in some time. And she closes her eyes and starts to embody her Form of Dread. But this time, you see her normal mourning veil you see her normal mourning veil cracks and crumbles and falls in the same way that the leaf does. She takes the Sun Tree and embodies it. From onlookers, it looks like branches start sprouting from her shoulders. You see an entire life cycle season's worth. You see an entire life cycle season's worth. Or years worth of seasons as the branches bloom and then wither and then fall. Until eventually, she drops it.

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Missing them hour

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Heya, it's been an age. Can't say things are perfect at the moment, kinda in the middle of a big move after a messy situation but I'm finally getting some down time, kinda, sorta... I really missed drawing Imodna and drawing in general so here we are! This piece is far from good and it's messy as hell despite the heavy use of a reference but I don't hate it so, yeah, have some Imodna and I'll try to draw something a little better next time. I'm open to suggestions if you want to see something specific for those two!

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"I've had more than enough time in this lingering uncertainty."

This is one way to make a come back, eh? Hi!

This was heavily inspired by this artwork by Riza Peker and I couldn't get the idea of Laudna in a similar style out of my head until I sat down and drew it. It's messy and busy as hell but it felt fitting for her considering everything she's been through.

Anyway, I feel like I keep saying this but I'm slowly getting back to the grind so, hopefully I'll be able to draw some Imodna while it's still Pride Month, fingers crossed!

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waudna wednesday thinking about her

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“The history of Exandria is altered in the wake of great and terrible people touched by the will of the gods. Prove to me why you feel you are worthy to be among them. Right now? Feels a little braggy, doesn't it?”-The Matron of Ravens/Imogen

Campaign 3 Episode 109: A Test of Fate

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Happy Pride critty role friends I want to talk about Laudna gender.

Is this a weird choice? I don’t know. I have a lot of feelings about her approach to gender that feel clear in my heart, but I haven’t been able to fully voice them outside of rabid growling in my friend’s dm’s so here we go.

Is she cis? No. But also yes. I think Matilda Bradbury was a cis woman when she died, but Laudna is something different. And I think she feels like she doesn’t quite meet the criteria for woman, the same way she doesn’t quite meet the criteria for person in the world of Exandria. When she was confronted with an angry mob in What Doesn’t Break, and Imogen tells the mob “she’s not a thing” Laudna agrees simply with “I’m a Laudna.”

Laudna’s gender is very based in performance. She wants to dress like a lady, she wants to go to fancy balls and be seen as one. There was of course the time that Orym asked her to disguise herself in white robes and she was very uncomfortable, but there was also that night when Fearne switched everyone’s clothes as a prank, and while the rest of the group laughed about it, even though Laudna didn’t say anything, Marisha acted deeply uncomfortable, holding herself like she had some core part of herself stolen.

Laudna wants to be beautiful. She worries over her smell (with Orym growing flowers on her on the travel to the hartmoore, Deni$e with the makeup outside that small town, asking Imogen if she still smelled after the raven queen tied their souls together) and when she is feeling at her worst, she’s disparaging of her looks. (It doesn’t show in the transcript but I know when they reunited after the solstice, Fearne stumbled her way into saying maybe we can put lipstick on a pig and get the Issylra group new outfits too so they can feel a little better and Laudna grumbled that the pig would look better than her.)

When she meets powerful women, she seems in awe, and when she dares to speak to them, she starts with calling them beautiful. (meeting Vex and Kiki. Also her view on the women in the woods in What Doesn’t Break, and the paladin were all admiring) And the most powerful woman in Laudna’s life, the one with her thumb on Laudna’s brain, has divided the world neatly into Maidens or Monsters. Laudna knows which one of those she is.

She’s not the cis plus that comes with interrogating gender binaries. She has a blunt understanding of gender and knows that she does not meet the criteria. She’s cis minus, and she knows she’s missing the pieces needed to construct a whole woman.

What I’m trying to say here is, there’s a trans story that can’t happen outside of the fantasy genre. (I love these.) A woman who isn’t quite, who had to build herself out of disparate pieces, and she has so few of them that even the wrong clothes might break the careful balance she made. And best of all, over the course of campaign three, she was loved by her friends, accepted by them even when she got ugly. She was desired, a happy ending was made for her, and I think, given time, she’ll find an understanding of gender that includes her.

Laudna spent a long time as a monster, but I think, removed from the societal pressures to fit in, Laudna would be happy with she/it pronouns. And like maybe down the line old lady Laudna is happy to be defined more like a creature but i don't know for sure because 30 years is a long time to build trauma. It’s nice to think about.

I’m old. When I was young, “it” was a cudgel wielded against women who didn’t conform well enough. I mean, it still is, but man the ninties and early aughts were fucking Rough for queers. (It’s bad now, too, friends, and I’m sorry. We march on.) In my non fanfic writing, I’ve been writing characters that use it pronouns, and giving focus to stories for it/shes has felt… well it’s felt good. I love a monster story, and I really love when the monster gets to be a hero.

Laudna’s gender is important to me. Her gender might boil down simply to “I’m a Laudna” and hell, name/name’s a very valid gender. But yeah. It felt very good to watch a monstrous woman, who doesn’t always fit her gender, who’s afraid sometimes of fucking it up get to be the love interest, and the hero with the hail-mary spells, and a part of a community that loves her.

Happy Pride.

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Hey don’t cry. It’s okay. Just remember. You know you saved my life, right? If you hadn’t come into town when you did, I don’t know how long I would’ve lasted. These last few years have been everything. And through it all, through all the laughter and all the hardships, she was with you. She was choking you. If you come back, I don’t know how you’re going to feel. I don’t know if you’ll feel free, or if you’ll feel empty. But I want you to know, whatever… whatever hole she’s leaving, I’ll be there to help fill it, all right? I’ll be there for you. I’m not going to tell you to come back, I’m not going to try to compel you to come back, because that choice, Laudna, is yours now. No one gets to control you anymore, all right? Just know that I love you, and I’m here. 

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Heart-To-Heartmoor

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Let’s do terrible and beautiful things.

photo edit done by @bjarkanart

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The symbolism of Gambol Shroud

Ruby says early on in the series that: "weapons are an extension of ourselves, they're a part of us".

Which made me think of what happend with Gambol Shroud in V6.

It's broken in half by Adam. Shattered, not functioning properly anymore, and if the weapon is an extension of the owner, this symbolizes how Adam broke Blake.

His shadow is what's looming over Blake from V1 until the end of V6. He poisoned her self image, she thinks she's not worthy of love, that she should be alone, that she's a coward. But none of that is true, and Blake is constantly reminded of that through Sun, Weiss, Ruby, her parents, Ilia, and especially Yang.

Yang is there to bring some levity and honesty into the dark corners of her mind. She's open, bright and she's easing Blake out of her shell in her own pace, never forcing anything.

They defeat Adam, liberating the both of them, and then it's time to heal properly - together.

Now, we know Blake is practically a ninja, so having her weapon repaired using kintsugi is logical, but this show is notorious for planting seeds here and there and using symbolism as a powerful tool of storytelling.

Gambol Shroud is put back together and we're intentionally shown that the joint is gold/yellow. And that's a colour that is representing Yang. Adam might've been the one who broke Blake, but Yang is here to mend her soul in any way she can. 💛💜

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Page 109

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(Author's notes)

Panel 1: Laudna surfaces with a gasp.

Panel 2: Sighting the boat, she begins determinedly swimming towards it, pushing against the cold and the current.

Imogen: You okay out there?

Laudna: Yes. Yes, I'm fine. It's all right, the cold doesn't get to me, much. I'm almost there.

Panel 3: But inexorably, the current begins to carry her away downstream.

Imogen: Laudna. Laudna, no. Come back! Forget about the damn boat!

Panel 4: Further down the riverbank, Imogen leans out over the water in an effort to reach her, holding onto a tree branch.

Panel 5: As Laudna starts to slip beneath the surface of the water again, they reach out their hands to each other, but they can't quite reach. The scars on Imogen's hand begin to glow as the lightning stretches further along her skin to the tips of her fingers.

Panel 6: Imogen makes a last attempt to grab her with her mage hand as the water closes over Laudna’s head.

Panel 7: Then, with a telekinetic pull stronger than any she has exhibited before, Imogen yanks her out of the river and into her arms.

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Short Mythology AU comic

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a peaceful repose 🍃

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Death and life embrace