cbellows2020-blog
Mehhh Life!!!!!Written as a memoir
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Have you ever thought that you would want to make a difference in the world. Well.....I do and this is what I want to do, and I want to make a diddeeence by showing people how suicide affected me. When I was a little girl I lost my uncle to suicide., and as of today it still hurts me.
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A life story about me!!!!! :-)
When I was a little girl, I found my uncle on the couch dead, and that hurt, and it was always a close bond between me and my uncle. I still feel like a part of me is missing, and I know that he is always in my heart and that he is always looking over me wherever I am. The hardest part for me is that he overdosed on pills and alcohol, and he was really depressed, and I know that depression is the hardest to deal with in life.
My own self has depression, but I am handling my depression very well. I remember the good and the bad with my uncle, and the funny thing I remember is that he always wanted a daughter like me, and we had a relationship that was like a father and daughter relationship. To have depression it is the hardest, but you can always get help, and you don’t have to commit suicide and hurt the ones that love you.
When you use the depression as a weapon, and you try to hurt yourself, you aren’t just hurting yourself, you are hurting your family and the people that care about you. When you have the way to prevent suicide, you can help the ones that are struggling with depression by talking to them.
By you be there for the ones that you love that are struggling with their depression and are thinking about committing suicide, and you need to make sure that their ok, and they are getting the help and the support that they need. In my opinion, you need to give the loved ones that have and are suffering from depression needs the love and support from us, because they are suffering, and you don’t want to lose them to suicide.
When you have the love and the support when you have depression and thinking about suicide. When you have the thought of suicide it is hard to live with the thought each day, by yourself. When you have the support to get help, and you know that you aren’t alone. You can always contact those that professional, but sometimes you must make sure that you have the right one to help you.
Always remember that there are the ones that are in the mood to help you, and those that want to judge you and make the money off your suffering. When I was a little girl I didn’t get the help that I needed, and I had to live with the fact that I found my uncle, when he committed suicide, and he was like a father to me, and it still hurts and I always have the memories of me and him spending time together.
Growing up with knowing and the memory of him laying on the couch like that it hurts, and then I realize that there are so many memories of him and I smile at the memories that I am remembering. When I think of my uncle, I remember the memories of me and him and his first girlfriend Jennifer would playhouse and hang out and my uncle was always the sweetest person out there. He loved to write and that is where I get my love of reading and writing, and I remember the way he loved to read too.
My uncle he was the light of the room, and he always knew how to make everyone laugh. This is dedicated to my uncle Stewart Edersheim, and I love you and miss you and you are remembered every single day.
To the family and my friends that knew my uncle: I hope that you love what I wrote, and if you want to give me more stuff to add to it, please feel free to let me know what you would like to add.
Growing up in a small town of Waverly, New York, and when I say a small town it is on the border of New York and Pennsylvania. Our High School football stadium is right across the street from my house. When I sit in my bedroom and look outside and see the football games on Friday nights. Being a right near the stadium, I would go to the games on Friday nights in high school, and in my senior year, I would call into the radio station WINK 106, and vote for the team of the week for my high school football team. I was voted most school spirit at the awards banquet.
Life in a small town was awesome, and you would think that I was popular in school, and that wasn’t the case I was quiet and stayed to myself, and no boyfriends in high school. I may have had high school crushes, but that was all. When you have the other students picking on you are calling you fat, that was not cool, and I was bullied in school.
I remember one time a boy in elementary school spit on me, and I defended myself. Students in school were cruel, and I just ignored them after that incident. There was this one boy in high school, that would always ask me out and laugh, and now as of today I feel bad, because he died after high school, and may he rest in peace.
After high school, I got into dating and had a lot of problems boyfriends, and there was one that was in the army and my best friend from high school introduced us, and that was a mistake he was a cheater. Then, there was a guy from Akron, Ohio that literally had so many issues himself, and he literally proposed to me, and that was my first fiancée and that was a long and worst mistake I made in a fiancée.
The guy from Akron, Ohio, well he was cute, funny, and I met him through a friend that I met through Myspace, when Myspace was a popular social media site. The guy from Akron, Ohio was how you say the funny at the end I find out all this truth about him. Then, I started talking to his roommate after he introduced us, and we talked every day and things were going good until I just didn’t want to see or hear from him again.
Then, I met my ex-husband online, and we started talking, and he sounded perfect, and then after months of talking online I moved to New Jersey to be with him. Then, after two years I married him, and things went downhill, I was in a domestic violence relationship, and I couldn’t go nowhere unless he went with me, and in 2016 I left him. I then went to stay with my friends’ fiancée and then he had a stroke so I stayed with him and helped him with the daily activities that he couldn’t do by himself. I was basically a caregiver and helped him out with the things that he couldn’t do by himself.
Then, I met this one guy, and we going to call him a low-life thief, and he was way to sneaky, and he would steal things from me and my brother. He was kicked to the curb, and never seen again. There was another guy, and let’s call him another low-life painter, and he only cared for the attention that he was getting, and then he was kicked to the curb.
, Then, I met my fiancée now, and we are still together, and we are going on almost 3 years. When you find the right person, you will know who that person is, and always follow your heart. The advice that I will give you is that when you are in a relationship, and you know that the relationship is not the relationship that you want, then you should get out of the relationship, and not stay in the relationship, because that means that you want to stay in the relationship, because you don’t want to stay in a toxic relationship.
I was in a toxic relationship, and that I was in that type of toxic relationship with my ex-husband, and I was in that relationship for six years, and he wouldn’t let me go no where by myself and he had to be there everywhere I was going, and he was always emotionally, physically, and mentally abusing me. That type of relationship isn’t the type of relationship that I would want anyone in, and ladies take my advice if you are in that type of relationship, please get out of that relationship, and there is someone out there for everyone that is not an abuser.
Domestic violence is the worst for everyone to be in, and I don’t recommend anyone to go into a relationship that has domestic violence. My goal in life is to help those that need help to get out of a relationship that involves domestic violence, and make people realize that getting out of domestic violence is easy with the right people by your side. When you have the support system to get out of the relationship that involves domestic violence, then you can easily get out of the relationship. It took me six years to escape the relationship, and I eventually did escape.
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When life gives you lemons make lemonade, and show people that you can do anything that you can put your mind to. I was a little girl and I always dreamed about being a writer, but i stopped writing years ago, and now i want to start back up writing. My Uncle Stewart loved writing, and if he was still alive, I believe that he would be a successful writer.
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Life gives you the amount of special purpose to make things better. Just know that you have the right to be happy in anyway you have
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When you see yourself as the one that you have to depend on. Make sure that you have the positive attitude to make sure that you have the right attitude to make your life easier and better.
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By you be there for the ones that you love that are struggling with their depression and are thinking about committing suicide, and you need to make sure that their ok, and they are getting the help and the support that they need. In my opinion, you need to give the loved ones that have and are suffering from depression needs the love and support from us , because they are suffering and you don’t want to lose them to suicide.
When you have the love and the support when you have depression and thinking about suicide. When you have the thought of suicide it is hard to live with the thought each and every day, by yourself. When you have the support to get help, and you know that you aren’t alone.
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mehhh life!!!!
When I was a little girl, I found my uncle on the couch dead, and that hurt and it was always a close bond between me and my uncle. I still feel like a part of me is missing, and I know that he is always in my heart and that he is always looking over me wherever I am. The hardest part for me is that he overdosed on pills and alcohol, and he was really depressed, and I know that depression is the hardest to deal with in life.
My own self has depression, but I am handling my depression very well. I remember the good and the bad with my uncle, and the funny thing I remember is that he always wanted a daughter like me, and we had a relationship that was like a father and daughter relationship. To have depression it is the hardest, but you can always get help, and you don’t have to commit suicide and hurt the ones that love you.
When you use the depression as a weapon, and you try to hurt yourself, you aren’t just hurting yourself, you are hurting your family and the people that care about you. When you have the way to prevent suicide, you can help the ones that are struggling with depression by talking to them.
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As a Little Girl!
When I was a little girl, I found my uncle dead, and he committed suicide. My uncle and me were really close, and I was 4 or 5 years old, when he killed himself. It always hurts around the time that he killed himself. He killed himself on the 1 of january. We always had so much fun together, and that hurts really bad. So, in my opinion, you should always think about your family, and who takes care of what if you want to hurt yourself, because you are hurting the ones that love you.
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As a little girl
When you see the me now you would think that I'm outgoing bit when I was a little girl I was shy and stayed to myself
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Suicide Awareness
Suicide Awareness is a good thing to learn, because when you know the signs of suicide. When you know the warning signs of the suicide, you can help someone save their lives.
The warning signs of suicides are:
Talking about wanting to die or to kill oneself;
Looking for a way to kill oneself;
Talking about feeling hopeless or having no purpose;
Talking about feeling trapped or being in unbearable pain;
Talking about being a burden to others;
Increasing the use of alcohol or drugs;
Acting anxious, agitated, or reckless;
Sleeping too little or too much;
Withdrawing or feeling isolated;
Showing rage or talking about seeking revenge; and
Displaying extreme mood swings
Let’s do this and help those that feel like they want to end their lives, and if you know a family that went through suicide of a loved one. help them guide them!
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As a Little Girl
When I was a little girl
i had the experience that was bad, and it was that me and my grandma found my uncle on the couch, he committed suicide. i was 5 when i found him, and i was terrified, because he was my favorite uncle and we were very close. He would always say that i was the daughter that he always wanted, and i remember a memory with him that we would play house and i would be the parent and he was the kid.
He is close in my heart, and i can not believe that he is gone, and no matter what he will always be in my heart, and in my life. i am writing this to spread awareness about suicide awareness. when you commit suicide you are hurting the people that love you.
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