cedarleaves

[cedarleaves]

Cis men are trying to deflect and deny their manifest sexual abuse of women by creating the fictional 'trans women offender'.

Don't trust cis rape culture to protect women.

[cedarleaves]

poem of spotify playlist titles from march - april 2024

yearn yearn yearn

and think about just what is wrong with me

(it’s that i don’t want it!!!! why!!!!!!!)

silken tofu and browned onions, which you don’t even like anyway

and your eyes look like

and your eyes look like a flock of birds in a clear sky

and your eyes look like fish

and YOUR EYES look like if someone pooped in a pool

unfortunately I really care and even more unfortunately I can’t really do anything about that.

[cedarleaves]

the ideal music taste for a man, coming from a teenage lesbian

fontaines dc but ready to accept it when you tell him that romance was mid

wunderhorse - agrees that they’re better than fontaines

a healthy healthy amount of katy perry

doesnt get the elliott smith obsession / doesn’t know who he is

only lightly dabbles in music superiority social media MAX (doesnt have aoty)

NO RADIOHEAD. its fine if he used to listen but its a major red flag if he listens now

REM - the BIGGEST green flag. but only ‘Document’ onwards

the next step soundtrack

used to listen to the smiths a few years ago but doesnt like them anymore and prefers the cure but in all honesty doesnt listen to 80s that much anymore (except for REM and…)

TALKING HEADS and will get a ‘this must be the place (naive melody)’ tattoo at 24 years old

joni mitchell

bob dylan

tracy chapman

doesnt listen to incel music / doesnt get it

frank ocean borderline obsessively but in a healthy way

the beatles - listens to them all the time but pretends that he thinks that theyre overrated

big thief and also he cried when max oleartchik left and he saw adrianne lenker live at the barbican on the 28 april 2024

[cedarleaves]

i am a firm believer that you do not have to forget. why would i waste my time forgetting when i can remember?

[cedarleaves]

[cedarleaves]

it is so cruel how likely it is that some day i will look back on my teenage love as simply that. teenage love.

the rawest thing i know will one day seem trifling and indistinct.

what might ultimately be left unfinished will tear a hole in me until it won’t anymore.

i’ll be expected to move on, and the worst part is, i probably will.

no one is her, there is no one like her. i hate that i’m going to be okay with that.

[cedarleaves]

lesbianism

you were at your ex’s best friend’s birthday party

i saw the pictures on instagram.

she’s friends with my friend. i don’t know how to talk to him.

she’s friends with the girl i used to sit next to in history, thanks to a seating plan. she never said much to me.

i didn’t recognise you, well of course i recognised you.

your face is the same and your hair is the same colour.

but your acne’s gotten worse and your hair has grown, i don’t think you’ve cut it since 2022.

that’s not why i didn’t recognise you.

i’m looking at a cracked photo frame.

i hate you sometimes.

all the time.

never.

i’ll never hate you. not out of love.

like me, you’re not the same anymore.

who expects an eighteen year old to look how they looked at sixteen.

it’s not about the age.

the first time i listened to age of consent by new order i was fifteen and knew you.

i wish we could just make up so that i can go to parties again.

i never want to see you again.

i stalk your spotify every night. i want to look into you.

for the first few weeks i saw but there’s a haze now.

your best friend who i was always worried was into you is dating my girlfriend’s best friend who i kissed to get over you and they kissed me to get over a girl who they loved but she had declared herself straight and i know of her because she’s friends with my best friend’s old straight crush who used to be friends with the girl in my english language class who is e-dating a girl from poland who she met on instagram.

who are you? i don’t think i ever knew you at all. what’s your name?

don’t worry. i know you so well.

only the residue

i hate lesbianism.

[cedarleaves]

my gums swell when i think of you

it’s probably just my wisdom teeth coming through

i don’t feel any wiser

every day i feel more and more naive,

clinging onto you

[cedarleaves]

i want to go out and walk in the sun

but there needs to be ink on paper

ink on hand

headphones on, headphones off

music is distracting you know

music won’t help you revise

headphones off and i hear the birds

these could be the ones that woke me up this morning

every morning for 6 weeks

every morning flying over my bus route

me and a backpack of textbooks

did you make a packed lunch today?

no i’m prioritising sleep

that’s so real

meal deal monday, tuesday, thursday, friday, saturday

hoisin “no duck” wrap

not wednesday though. library opens half an hour later on wednesdays.

not sunday. library is closed and i’m in a cafe anyway.

there are people out boating on the river

i am eating my meal deal

sitting in front of the library

i want to stay out and walk in the sun

[cedarleaves]

me when i hate someone just because they’re smart and kind

[cedarleaves]

summary of act 1

[cedarleaves]

viktor vs cait innit

[cedarleaves]

i love arcane

[cedarleaves]

something something despite the all horrors and tragedies of the world, love was there and that's all that matters

[cedarleaves]

Tump ❤️

[cedarleaves]

[cedarleaves]

I hate work I should be at the (remembers I don't want to go to the club) the imagination