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Journal: 2/20/2019 - Thursday

I wake up at around 9

Shower until 9:30

head out to work at 9:45am

drive to UC, go to 7-11 to get my bart parking money.

Hit the Bart at 10:11

Code on bart

Arrive at my stop 10:54

In the office by 11:10

Start work

Lunch at 12:30

Call my bank about my fraud charges

get back at 1:30

work until 5pm

Go on bart

Take a nap then look at my phone.

Get in my car

Chinese dude starts singing all out in chinese while i’m walking to my car.

Drive to Silliman Center

Try to swim, pool is full

Get switch, go on treadmill for an hour

Get home, eat some twako, then play league

Back to work

Notes:

I’m trying to fit in running and 5 minute breaks into my work schedule

I’m starting to dread being in the office without anyone close to talk to.

so I think i’ll remedy this by just heading out and doing stuff. 

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The feels

I think this is a combination of things, but I get the feeling of loneliness probably due to my closest coworkers leaving for another job and my sister finally getting a house. I’m super proud of both, but it’s going to be lonely. The house is going to be really quiet without my sister her husband and the kids. Something I really enjoyed was waking up and seeing them run around. I could move in with them, but atm my financial situation is unknown with me being an indefinite contractor at my job, and figuring out my next move. 

I think atm my situation is short-term. The discord is slowly shrinking, it’s been lasting for years, but idk we’re all getting older and relationships and marriage is becoming a real thing. My college friends are going into their relationships, and my high school and community college friends are basically in a rut trying to figure out bay area life. I think as my coworker said, that he was looking for another job before he finally left, that I should also actually look for my reset. 

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My Mission

I’ve been thinking of all my inabilities as a person, but from reading Extreme Ownership, I have to check my ego. OMG, I’m such a terrible person for XXX, but what does it lead to? Distractions. From learning game, I’m putting people on pedestals. Yes, I respect and appreciate the effort they put into a friendship, but why am I telling myself I’m a terrible friend and I don’t deserve them? 

Hah, when I was focusing on my mission, that was the last thing on my mind. Was I happy focusing on my mission? Fuck yeah. So, that leads to the question, what is my mission? Worrying about the people that cut me from my life? Why, didn’t I do something about it? I was focusing on my mission. I wanted to dive into game and seduction, I found that I had the ability to connect and be happy with lots of women, which resulted in the person who made me want to do it being gone from my life.

I already knew the path I’m laying myself is tough and often times I’ll look back and see what I left behind, and lose sight of what would I have gotten from them if I kept them around. I didn’t word that right, how much more have I gained for myself compared to what would i have gained from keeping them around? 

Focus on the mission. 

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Approach Anxiety

I tell myself, wait until the summer you can game all you want when the summer hits and you are working in SF. The thing is though, it’s like a fucking caged animal. My heart tells me to get sets in, but my brain tells me, no because it’s almost the end of the semester and you already know what happened when you put game first. My judgement is kinda clouded. Yes, I next a lot of girls, but it’s like is it because they don’t fit what I want, or is it because I subconsciously am scared and I make excuses oh I have to focus on school, I can’t make approaches. 

It’s extremely frustrating for me because I was in the game, and I know that I can do it, but after 2 years, are my claws still sharp. While my mindset is like fuck yeah, I won the battle against fear, but here it is AA, coming back when I thought I won.

Blog Updates: I don’t have thoughts I want to write about everyday, nor do I want to spend even a few minutes jotting it down. I already know my blog inconsistency, so all i can promise is that I haven’t stopped indefinitely, I just have long breaks between posts.

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It’s been a while since my last blog post. I have been coding this entire time, but progress is slow. This is a an update to my personal site. This page is going to be for my gaming section of my site. What it’s going to include are games that I play and statistics for those games pulled from their API. 

Far from done, but I’m going to post often so you can see my progress as I develop. I might even do daily updates because I’m working on 4 pages at the same time, which is a good amount of different content to post about. 

I’m not going to guarantee daily blog posts because that failed. I honestly was lost as to what to post and it was not something I want to stress over. 

This blog is going to be about my journey through coding, I should stick with that.

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Feel free to ignore this, also updates

For people that have blogged before or are currently blogging, could understand how I feel right now about how hard it is to maintain a daily blog. I’m not just shit posting just to extend my streak, but it is a reason. I’m just posting this update to let you know I’m trying to create content for this blog, but it’s a lot harder than i expected. I’m drafting a few posts atm, but they are no where near being done. I’m going to power through it during the weekend, but for now I’m going to have to come up with a game plan as to how to provide daily updates.

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Reading

There is a saying that good programmers at one point had the always be coding mantra. For myself to be honest I’m not always coding, but I never go a day without trying to learn about something coding related. Whether it’s a new technology, browsing the /r/cscareerquestions, reading my coding books, or just looking at answers for coding interview questions. 

There is a balance that I want to take for developing myself as a person, and I feel reading is a shortcut to learning about many perspectives and experiences of individuals. Reading is something that I do after I am unable to code anymore, but I always have an obsession of wanting to learn and improve myself. So I started to read. It doesn’t really matter how much you read, but as long as you read and do it consistently I found that reading books isn’t hard at all. The hundreds of pages isn’t really intimidating if you just work on it consistently. This is something that you can apply to everything such as training for a marathon, losing weight, or prepping for interviews. Consistency is the key to success which is the point of this blog post. 

While this blog post isn’t the best, through my experiences with working towards my goals, they’ll be ups and downs, but what I know for sure is if I stop working towards my goals I’ll never experience the up swing, so I’m keeping the blog streak rolling. 

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Bought the domain name chrisnavy.website and updates

My previous blog entry was about not wanting to spend money on cloud hosting and a domain name...well i was on slickdeals and namecheap had a deal on cloud hosting and a domain name for a dollar. It’s only a dollar, so of course I would purchase it.

I’m not sure what I’ll do with it right now. It’ll probably be a personal portfolio page. I wanted to purchase another domain name, but I’m not willing to shell out $100+ dollars atm. 

Another goal I wanted to add is that I want to try making this blog a daily thing. I am going to post an entry everyday, whether it’s about coding or any thoughts I had during the day. I’ll try to post mostly about coding, but I know for sure every entry isn’t going to be about coding. 

In terms of future posts this week, I want to try a new series about my attempts at explaining data structures and algorithms or just general interview questions. I’m not sure how it’s going to work, but I’ll look towards improving it every time I post that series.

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Building your own or using what’s out there

Often times when I’m working on a coding project, or I want to create something there’s the dilemma about whether I should just use something that’s already created or just build it on my own. Let’s say I wanted to start a blog. Yes I could... 

rent a cloud server 

buy a domain name

Pick a language I want to create the server with

Build out the Back end of the blog

Build out the web page for the blog

Create a database to hold my blog entries

Figure out how to partition the blog entries, so when I’m a million blog entries in, I’m not sending those million entries out when someone visits my site.

Or...

Just register on a blogging site and start blogging as I’m doing now.

If I were to choose to build my own, how long would it take for me to build it out? What are the chances that I’ll actually complete the site to be able to blog?

The choice I made was the one which allowed me to start doing what I wanted to do in the first place. I feel it is a good choice for most things, also it’s free which didn’t require me to rent/buy things.

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Projects I’ve at least tried throughout the years, I’ll be looking through them and posting here what I have in time. I’m not sure how or when I’ll post them, ambitious is probably posting one project or day. Reasonably I’ll post a few a month.

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My latest work-in-progress portfolio page, I made it mostly using http://bulma.io/ 

I like the css framework because it seems pretty modern and the colors were bright, which I liked. 

Stuff I learned: to make a transparent background, while still having what’s instead have the full color, use the 4th parameter of rgba.

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Starting a blog

I saw a YouTube video about various side projects i can do, and the first example given was to start a blog. It didn’t involve coding, so it wasn’t too hard in terms of mental strain. I explore a lot of technologies in the many side projects I explore, and I do come up with an opinion when I use these technologies so I’ll try to write about it on this blog. 

In terms of the content of this blog, I’m going to stick to coding related things and various things I’m interested in. I do code a lot, but a lot of times I feel it’s not that worth deploying and instead of just leaving it on my computer where it’ll never see the eyes of anyone, I’ll at least explain what I was going for here on this blog and explain my thought process and my opinion on what I used. I’m not sure whether I’ll just dump my previous projects or just only post new ones. 

I’ll leave this post scuffed because I’m not even sure what makes a good blog entry.