certifiedproblemcauser - Tumblr blog

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It’s practically 2014 and you guys still don’t know how to google if an article is real or not before giving it 100,000 notes

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EXCUSE ME THERE IS A PLANT THAT CAN MIMIC FAKE PLANTS?????

IT'S CALLED A BOQUILA TRIOFOLIOLATA AND IT'S FUCKING WITH MY BRAIN

IT APPARENTLY CAN MIMIC OTHER PLANTS AND AT FIRST I WAS LIKE "oh cool man it must take it's genetic code and copy it or feel the roots or something like that!! :3"

AND THEN I READ AN ARTICLE ON IT AND THESE FUCKING PARAGRAPHS HIT ME LIKE A BUS

LIKE READ THIS SHIT

WHAT THE FUCK MOTHER NATURE

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he thinks he's being so smooth with his little face on my leg. i SEE you, villain

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who remembers playing pokemon ranger and going fucking ham 

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You come across a family on your hike

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on one of my last wonder trades for pokemon x before the 3ds shutdown someone sent me a level 100 garchomp hatched in 2014

that was someones baby. he's in a luxury ball. he's ev trained. he's had pokerus. they loved this thing. i was traded a level 1 gible named JetPiranha. that's his brother now. i'm going to lose my mind.

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sorry I can't today. I've gotta sit at my laptop and hit a button to make numbers on the boop-o-meter go up. yeah, it's gonna be all day

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yes there are birds. the wiki mentions birds. i digress >:(

sym <3

[certifiedproblemcauser]

And now, for something completely different!

Most people who follow me here know me for my fanart or comics, but one of the reasons I’ve been pretty quiet on Tumblr is because… I was writing a game!

The game is called I Was A Teenage Exocolonist, and you play as a person who was born during the long trip to humanity’s first extrasolar colony. You grow up, explore, build your skills and relationships, unravel mysteries, fall in love with your friends, discover adults are just as scared and clueless as you are, and make a life for yourself in the stars…

…and then you die. But because of the wormhole that brought you to this planet, you’re reborn to play those years all over again, armed with the knowledge of your past life to make better decisions.

Can you save your friend who died when you were kids? Can you make someone different fall in love with you? Can you broker peace between the humans and a planet that seems to reject you at every turn?

Systems-wise, the game is a life simulator RPG along the lines of Princess Maker or Persona, looks and reads like a visual novel, and has resolves conflicts by simple puzzles using cards that represent your memories. Don’t like card builders? No problemo, me neither: you can turn it off.

And what’s really cool is the level of representation that we crammed in here. This isn’t a game engineered in a boardroom for maximum points; it’s an organic expression of love featuring tons of queer relationships (including ace and aro ones), neurodiversity, body diversity, disabled characters, polyamory, and more. Right from the beginning, Sol’s gender is entirely customizable, even down to teaching the game your bespoke pronouns set.

It’s teenage years in space, and it’s also pushing right at the edges of what it means to colonize space. It’s funny, momentous, grim, heartwarming, tragic, horny (so horny), and overall hopeful of what we can be when we purposefully think about who we are and how we relate to each other and the planet.

I Was a Teenage Exocolonist is available on Steam, PS4/PS5, and Switch right now, and I hope that if you’ve enjoyed my art over the years you’ll give it a looksee. I’m really terribly proud of it and what we’ve made.

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peak character designs

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Emo boy anime kid solidarity is real. Peace and love on planet Vertumna

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I am genuinely so confused as to why I Was a Teenage Exocolonist doesn't have a MASSIVE tumblr fandom. I recently got it and it's great so far, and I was super excited to dig into fanart and fic for it but there just...isn't very much? Which is a real shame because everything about the game seems very much in line with the sort of stuff tumblr goes gaga over. It's queer-friendly, features gorgeous anime-influenced artwork, has an engaging narrative (so far, anyway, I haven't finished it yet), so many unique and likable characters (some of whom you can romance, or not)...like it really has everything all wrapped up in a nifty indie game package. This website should be bursting with fan content for this thing. So all this to say that I Was a Teenage Exocolonist is on sale on Steam right now and everyone really should try it! And then make more fan content because I'm starving over here.

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[certifiedproblemcauser]

so what if my boyfriend is purple and weirdly tall and generally strange? i like him